Suheir Hammad Imitations walk front Kellie Leonce 2 -break (truths)- by Olivia Kahn 4 What I Make by Olivia Kahn 6 give me time by Stephanie Apollon 8 nonexistent by Stephanie Apollon 10 - break ( weeping hearts) - by Jennifer Joseph 12

2

Kellie Leonce

walk front after Suheir Hammad

walk front walk back walk side women with child women with pain women with diamond all the same you see us as one walk back to immigration walk back to food stamps walk back to security yes i will walk back because you have control this line filled with people like me people not like me more importantly not like you your clothes so unused the creases evident like the struggle and pain woven in my peoples skin look these are bruises not tattoos look these are wounds not piercings yes we have struggles i understand we are different my people my people my people walk walk back the way you tell us force us create us the way we are no way to escape not through blood tears sweat so we walk that way that way you tell us for now we have no escape for now for now you will never have escape my people walk back now your people walk front when we are done walking back there will still be front when you are done walking front there will still be back

3

Kellie Leonce

walk front after Suheir Hammad

walk front walk back walk side women with child women with pain women with diamond all the same you see us as one walk back to immigration walk back to food stamps walk back to security yes i will walk back because you have control this line filled with people like me people not like me more importantly not like you your clothes so unused the creases evident like the struggle and pain woven in my peoples skin look these are bruises not tattoos look these are wounds not piercings yes we have struggles i understand we are different my people my people my people walk walk back the way you tell us force us create us the way we are no way to escape not through blood tears sweat so we walk that way that way you tell us for now we have no escape for now for now you will never have escape my people walk back now your people walk front when we are done walking back there will still be front when you are done walking front there will still be back

Comment [t1]: I wanted to mimic Hammad’s style in “break (cross)” where she repeats segments of parallel words to emphasize uniformity and specifically the struggles of women in a specific culture. I refrained from inserting any types of punctuation or capitalization in order for the piece to be more authentic and more easily read. Hammad does this in her poems, and she makes it seem as though

Comment [t2]: I wanted to follow Hammad’s theme of entrapment found in “Not Your Exotic, Not Your Erotic”. I felt as though grouping my subject as “one” provided very important to the entire feeling of my poem because I

Comment [t3]: “walk back” was my main phrase that I tried to intertwine within the entire poem. I tried mocking Suheir Hammad’s style in “Mike Check” where she continuously used the phrase “mike check” to further her story. I

Comment [t4]: Like Hammad, I tried to segment my sentences and words as though someone was speaking subconsciously. Hammad accurately does this in “Mike Check”. I wanted to focus more on “Mike Check” in this poem

Comment [t5]: This phrase was solely influenced from Hammad’s “Mike Check” performance. When Suheir Hammad performed this poem, her voice grew stronger and her tone grew angrier towards the end when she established her

Comment [t6]: Throughout most of Hammad’s poems, she alludes to her own culture and people through pronouns such as “we” and “us”. I thought it would be a good idea to do the same, but not be specific to who I am referring to, or what

Comment [t7]: Though Hammad does not directly address what she is longing for in her poems, it is evident that she longs for an escape from everything around her, and the assumptions and proclamations made by people who do

Comment [t8]: I thought that this was a very important aspect in this poem because it allowed me to incorporate Hammad’s style of subconscious thinking as well as what people have to deal with in relation to cultural and diverse

Comment [t9]: “for now” plays a huge role in this poem, even though it is at the end. In Hammad’s “Mike Check”, Hammad changes the script at the end and asks mike who is going to check him. In my poem, I wanted that same effect,

Comment [t10]: In creating these lines, I wanted to mimic the effect Suheir Hammad had on her audience in “Mike Check”. I thought that the ending that would tie the entire poem up, while also going back to the beginning and creating

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4

Olivia Kahn

-break (truths)- after Suheir Hammad

i was told one was bad one good but none could be both but shalom i met you here not where they said they said i would shalom i am no longer here where am i in this place and what is true what is here is not there i am lost stuck inpatient furious starving listening feeling trying stop no more me i am me and what you say is not is not true

5

Olivia Kahn

-break (truths)- after Suheir Hammad

i was told one was bad one good but none could be both but shalom i met you here not where they said they said i would shalom i am no longer here where am i in this place and what is true what is here is not there i am lost stuck inpatient furious starving listening feeling trying stop no more me i am me and what you say is not is not true

Comment [PC11]: This is an imitation of how Hammad titled every one of her poems in her book Breaking Poems. I wanted to keep that same style and imitate something that I felt strongly was breaking just like she had in her poems.

Comment [PC12]: I used Arial font because I felt that Times New Roman was too harsh to use in order to mimic Hammad’s style, and also because she never used that style of font for any of her poems, at least not those published in her book Breaking Poems.

Comment [PC13]: I didn’t use any capitalization or punctuation for any of the words because throughout her poems from Breaking Poems, Hammad never uses any punctuation.

Comment [PC14]: I used a Hebrew word that I took from the culture that I most strongly associate with and incorporated it within my poem to mimic how Hammad used many words from the Arabic language in her poems.

Comment [PC15]: I repeated some phrases, for example the “they said” because I felt it was a strong phrase and also because in many of Hammad’s poems, she repeats certain words in order to set a rhythm or enforce a strong meaning. In this case I just wanted to enforce a meaning.

Comment [PC16]: I tried to keep my sentences short and choppy to create a rhythmic effect, much like how many of Hammad’s poems sound in Breaking Poems. I wanted to try to mimic her Brooklyn style that she uses naturally in her poems.

Comment [PC17]: This line is many adjectives with no supporting verbs or pronouns because Hammad uses this style in many of her poems as well. The effect they have in her poems is not only a great rhythm but also a stronger feeling and

Comment [PC18]: I emphasized myself in the poem because Hammad writes from her own experiences and always refer s to them in her poetry, I wanted to emphasize myself and show what kind of an effect the breaking of

Comment [PC19]: In this line I am establishing myself as my own independent person, which mimics how Hammad describes herself in many of her poems. She defines herself among all the turmoil that exists in her life and in this

Comment [PC20]: I ended the poem with a reflection of the title. Although Hammad does not always do this in her poetry, she is always able to write a line that enforces her initial meaning based on the title. I felt that repeating the title

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6

Olivia Kahn What I Make after Suheir Hammad I will not make a face and pretend. I will not write for you what I am. I know what I am. I know what you are. You are like the back of my hand. You are. You are stone cold. I will not make you breathe. I will not make you something to breathe for. I make breath for my life. I will not help you take what is not yours. I will not make myself a follower to you. I will make me. My life this is my life. I will make what I think is right. I will not be persuaded threatened abused. I am strong. I make my own strength. You can’t take that. You can never take that.

7

Olivia Kahn What I Make after Suheir Hammad I will not make a face and pretend. I will not write for you what I am. I know what I am. I know what you are. You are like the back of my hand. You are. You are stone cold. I will not make you breathe. I will not make you something to breathe for. I make breath for my life. I will not help you take what is not yours. I will not make myself a follower to you. I will make me. My life this is my life. I will make what I think is right. I will not be persuaded threatened abused. I am strong. I make my own strength. You can’t take that. You can never take that.

Comment [PC21]: I took the same title from Hammad’s poem “What I Will” except that I changed the ‘Will’ to ‘Make’. They have similar yet different meanings and I want to make sure this could be my own.

Comment [PC22]: The font is Arial, as was in the last poem, in order to make the words feel less rigid and tight. The Arial gives the poem a much looser and more inviting feel to the reader and I wanted to be able to establish that sensation.

Comment [PC23]: I started off with what I would not make because that is the same style that Hammad had started off her poem with, what she wouldn’t do.

Comment [PC24]: With this line, I am showing a strong definition of myself, because a noticeable thing that Hammad does in her poems is define herself as a strong independent woman, whether it’s direct or indirect through her words.

Comment [PC25]: This line shows defiance against someone whom I don’t want to give in to or follow, which mimics the basic theme of Hammad’s original poem “What I Will”.

Comment [PC26]: I used basic punctuation in this poem because in her book of poems ZaatarDiva, including the poem “What I Will”, Hammad uses basic punctuation.

Comment [PC27]: I also cut the lines in what seems like awkward places to mimic the style that Hammad had used for many of her poems. It also helps to give the poem more than one way to read it because the cuts can be interpreted differently.

Comment [PC28]: This line shows a strong portrayal what I think is right or wrong. It shows that I think for myself, just like Hammad does even though she has conflicting ideals being thrown on her from everyone. I wanted to maintain that solid ground of thought.

Comment [PC29]: Even though Hammad’s “What I Will” doesn’t include phrases like this, like her other poems have, I wanted to include it in this poem in order to make a balance between the two structures of writing. It almost mimics the way that Hammad established a balance between her cultures by constructing her own language in her book Breaking Poems. Only instead of using language like I had in the other, I

Comment [PC30]: I finished the poem with what I thought was a strong ending. It mimicked the way that Hammad’s poem “What I Will” had flowed. It started with what she wouldn’t do and then ended with a strong stance of

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8

Stephanie Apollon

give me time after Suheir Hammad because i dont want to talk about why i don’t want to talk to you or anyone asking me why i have that look on my face why i look like im going to cry half the time why i look like i have the world on my shoulders i hate clichés i don’t want to talk about why i keep it all inside because no matter how many times you ask me why you don’t need to know im ready to tell you when im ready you better be ready you sit there and listen to every syllable and pause i take watching you watch me judge me but stop because you are the one who asked you look at me like im crazy wonder if its just that time no i had it a week ago thanks doesn’t affect my face period listen to ever word i say i have a history of ranting why you wanted to know

9

Stephanie Apollon

give me time after Suheir Hammad because i dont want to talk about why i don’t want to talk to you or anyone asking me why i have that look on my face why i look like im going to cry half the time why i look like i have the world on my shoulders i hate clichés i don’t want to talk about why i keep it all inside because no matter how many times you ask me why you don’t need to know im ready to tell you when im ready you better be ready you sit there and listen to every syllable and pause i take watching you watch me judge me but stop because you are the one who asked you look at me like im crazy wonder if its just that time no i had it a week ago thanks doesn’t affect my face period listen to ever word i say i have a history of ranting why you wanted to know

Comment [SA31]: In every poem Suheir Hammad has, she does not use punctuation by never using capital letters in the beginning of sentences or phrases. Also when it comes to the letter “I” there is no exception, every letter used Suheir Hammad keeps in lower case letters.

Comment [SA32]: Although Suheir Hammad talks a lot about political issues and feminism, she focus a lot of her poems on herself giving narrative of events that happen to her or could have happened to her, always making the poem sound relatable. Here I do the same thing as I talk about an aspect of life that happens but other people can relate to if they put themselves that position. Also if this was not about me directly, I make the poem sound like I or anyone else could be the “I” of the poem as Hammad does.

Comment [SA33]: Suheir Hammad writes her poems so that depending on how you interpret the poem, it has a different mean or it can sound different. So for this part of the poem, depending on how you read the section, it has a different sound and meaning. I could be saying “im ready to tell you when im ready” or “im ready to tell you” at that moment. And also you could see the second part as saying “you better be ready” or “you better be” are you “ready.” Because there is no punctuation, it all depends on the person reading the poem and how they interpret the lines just as what is done with Hammad’s poems.

Comment [SA34]: Suheir Hammad likes to play with her words in her poems by creating a rhythm to what is being said. Depending on how you read the poem, you can hear a beat to it. There is no punctuation as a common used so readers should know to just keep going and not take a pause which allows the poem to sound almost like a rap as Hammad does.

Comment [SA35]: There are many times when Suheir Hammad refers to gender, primarily women, in her poems. Hammad can sometimes come straight out with what she wants to say about women and even with subtle hints, it is clear she is talking about women. With this part of my poem, I refer to a feminine aspect of women that people like to use as an excuse for the way women act and I say that contrary to what is believed, women have control over themselves and are not controlled by their monthly cycles. Our moods and emotions can not always be blamed on what goes on with us monthly. But also I say this in a subtle way and I do not straight out say the word I mean. Although I do mention the word “period” at the end, I give a hint of what I wanted to say.

10

Stephanie Apollon

nonexistent after Suheir Hammad december we did not exist we were the poor floating in the ocean open a history book but no one knows if we freed ourselves no one knows about l’union fait la force force wont save us from january we did not exist just another country in poverty but help doesn’t come till they decide to pay attention pay attention when the ground shifts and there we are still floating still existing now you want to notice people who never heard of the country pay check their attention thanks for the help but years ago we did exist we’re not ungrateful but their friends are under that house over there phone numbers wont save them we’ve existed but did anyone hear about chile I heard they existed too where is there telethon always quick to respond but wait a second hawii is calling duty calls when it comes to you’re own country we are not the world we are people in this world and they say no fighting we’re not fighting we’re trying to breath we’re trying to live and by the way we’re not all poor but its ok they got the message

11

Stephanie Apollon

nonexistent after Suheir Hammad december we did not exist we were the poor floating in the ocean open a history book but no one knows if we freed ourselves no one knows about l’union fait la force force wont save us from january we did not exist just another country in poverty but help doesn’t come till they decide to pay attention pay attention when the ground shifts and there we are still floating still existing now you want to notice people who never heard of the country pay check their attention thanks for the help but years ago we did exist we’re not ungrateful but their friends are under that house over there phone numbers wont save them we’ve existed but did anyone hear about chile I heard they existed too where is there telethon always quick to respond but wait a second hawii is calling duty calls when it comes to you’re own country we are not the world we are people in this world and they say no fighting we’re not fighting we’re trying to breath we’re trying to live and by the way we’re not all poor but its ok they got the message

Comment [SA36]: In Suheir Hammad’s poems, when she reference her culture, she tends to generalize by saying “we.” Because she has two cultures she is part of, it is often up to the reader to interpret who she is identifying herself with. In this poem, I never say “I” but “we” in order to put myself in a group. I could be identifying with either my family’s country or the one that is my own. But in this particular part of the poem, it is clear that I do not mean America.

Comment [SA37]: There are many times when Suheir Hammad incorporates her own language into her poems but then makes the word from the different language sound like an English word. Here, I put in a French phrase but also used on of the French words and used it as English. But just like with Hammad’s poems, when you look the word up in the dictionary, there is a different meaning to it which can in turn change the meaning of the sentence just like what is done with Hammad’s poems.

Comment [SA38]: There are times when Suheir Hammad plays with words to make them have a double meaning. Instead of using a different language, there is a word play with the English for this section to have a double meaning in order to say that people “check” what they’re paying attention, they “pay” more attention, and that “people who never heard of the country” give parts of their “pay” check to the country, and with that it makes the reader of the poem think.

Comment [SA39]: In one of Suheir Hammad’s poems, she uses a phrase that resembles song lyrics but if readers do not recognize the song lyrics or just read the words as is, there is a different meaning to the section of the poem. Here I used, as Hammad did, a song that happens to also be from Michael Jackson except I changed one word. If you think of the meaning of the song, then there are different interpretation you can have on what I am trying to say. But if you look at the words as is, there is a different interpretation. I also used a phrase that Wyclef Jean used in a song.

Comment [SA40]: In Suheir Hammad’s poems she can be repetitive with the first word in the beginning of each line which also gives the lines a rhythm. Here I mimic this style by using the same word in each line so that when the lines are read there is a beat to reading the poem and also gives the lines a parallel structure.

12

Jennifer Joseph

- break ( weeping hearts) - after Suheir Hammad

yamma my beloved crying wa suffering ya rayah with hawa ya rayah jabal bas enough harb and blood yamma our hearts bleed gaze up no light stars moon gaze up knives spears arrows guns missiles shabab weeping blood yamma we pray forget memories of blood and disappearing hearts

13

Jennifer Joseph

- break ( weeping hearts) - after Suheir Hammad

yamma my beloved crying wa suffering ya rayah with hawa ya rayah jabal bas enough harb and blood yamma our hearts bleed gaze up no light stars moon gaze up knives spears arrows guns missiles shabab weeping blood yamma we pray forget memories of blood and disappearing hearts

Comment [G41]: Since she didn’t capitalize any of her words I decided to keep all of mine lower case including the title.

Comment [G42]: I also used this for repetitiveness because she uses that as a tool.

Comment [G43]: I noticed that she added words and phrases from her language, so I used the page given with the translation to also do the same.

Comment [G44]: I noticed that her poems just flowed with no punctuation marks, when I wrote it I didn’t place any punctuation marks.

Comment [G45]: I noticed how she broke up some lines randomly so I did the same

Comment [G46]: I saw that these things kept showing up in her poems.

Comment [G47]: Even though she spoke of pain at time she used really harsh words or object and I thought it was to describe a connection to mankind so I did the same by using her own words.

Comment [G48]: I thought her choice of words showed background info.

Comment [G49]: In her poems that I focused on I noticed that some of her main ideas were based on pains and struggles which I focused on in my poems.

Page 3: [1] Comment [t1] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:31:00 AM I wanted to mimic Hammad’s style in “break (cross)” where she repeats segments of parallel words to emphasize uniformity and specifically the struggles of women in a specific culture. I refrained from inserting any types of punctuation or capitalization in order for the piece to be more authentic and more easily read. Hammad does this in her poems, and she makes it seem as though she is speaking through a stream of consciousness.

Page 3: [2] Comment [t2] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM I wanted to follow Hammad’s theme of entrapment found in “Not Your Exotic, Not Your Erotic”. I felt as though grouping my subject as “one” provided very important to the entire feeling of my poem because I wanted to mimic Hammad’s feeling of categorization caused upon by society.

Page 3: [3] Comment [t3] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM “walk back” was my main phrase that I tried to intertwine within the entire poem. I tried mocking Suheir Hammad’s style in “Mike Check” where she continuously used the phrase “mike check” to further her story. I wanted to have the same effect as Hammad, and create an alternative meaning for this repeated phrase, which I experimented with in the very end. I also incorporated contradiction within the “walk back” and “walk front” because I wanted to establish a difference between “my people” (another factor Hammad incorporates) and the people I am talking about.

Page 3: [4] Comment [t4] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM Like Hammad, I tried to segment my sentences and words as though someone was speaking subconsciously. Hammad accurately does this in “Mike Check”. I wanted to focus more on “Mike Check” in this poem because Hammad becomes very fierce, while sounding as if she is having a conversation with herself. I structured the flow of my lines to be as if someone was thinking out loud, creating a more climatic effect towards the ending when parallelism is used as the final points within the poem.

Page 3: [5] Comment [t5] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM This phrase was solely influenced from Hammad’s “Mike Check” performance. When Suheir Hammad performed this poem, her voice grew stronger and her tone grew angrier towards the end when she established her problem. I tried to do the same thing in this poem, and when I wrote it, I pictured this quote being the most fierce and strong part, where the audience can feel the pain and emotion of Suheir Hammad. I purposefully added the “yes we have struggles” in the stanza after because after Hammad creates a huge scene, she comes back down and builds herself up again, which I also tried doing, which might work better if this poem were actually performed.

Page 3: [6] Comment [t6] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM Throughout most of Hammad’s poems, she alludes to her own culture and people through pronouns such as “we” and “us”. I thought it would be a good idea to do the same, but not be specific to who I am referring to, or what ethnic group I am targeting. I feel as though if the audience does not know who is considered “we”, then it would be more relatable to everyone in the audience, rather than just a small population. I think it is important to see this poem in the eyes of the victim and it is more meaningful in the eyes of the victim rather than the culpurate.

Page 3: [7] Comment [t7] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM Though Hammad does not directly address what she is longing for in her poems, it is evident that she longs for an escape from everything around her, and the assumptions and proclamations made by people who do not even know her. Following Hammad’s theme, I wanted to incorporate a failure to escape. Hammad compares women to birds imprisoned in a cage. I wanted to create that allusion but on a more direct and painful manner through the incorporation of "blood" and "tears".

Page 3: [8] Comment [t8] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM I thought that this was a very important aspect in this poem because it allowed me to incorporate Hammad’s style of subconscious thinking as well as what people have to deal with in relation to cultural and diverse differences. I also thought it was interesting how I came back from the beginning and continued with the repeated phrase "walk". What I wanted to do was make "walk" something that has to be force dupon people to do. Usually when people think of walking, they think it is free will. Like "mike check", I wanted to create an alternative meaning, in this case, a forced movement.

Page 3: [9] Comment [t9] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM “for now” plays a huge role in this poem, even though it is at the end. In Hammad’s “Mike Check”, Hammad changes the script at the end and asks mike who is going to check him. In my poem, I wanted that

same effect, and the effect of a plot twisting ending. Instead of being so direct and upfront, I tried to make it more subtle because it wasn't towards the very end yet. I purposefully repeated "for now" to show the reader that the struggle is only temporary, which is what Hammad did in "Mike Check". "For now" means that a change needs to be made, and that change will definately be made in the future, because it is already pointed out.

Page 3: [10] Comment [t10] tuyencom 3/26/2010 10:30:00 AM In creating these lines, I wanted to mimic the effect Suheir Hammad had on her audience in “Mike Check”. I thought that the ending that would tie the entire poem up, while also going back to the beginning and creating a sort of paradox between what was said, and what is really happening.

Page 5: [11] Comment [PC17] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:34:00 AM This line is many adjectives with no supporting verbs or pronouns because Hammad uses this style in many of her poems as well. The effect they have in her poems is not only a great rhythm but also a stronger feeling and meaning. I wanted both to occur in my poem.

Page 5: [12] Comment [PC18] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:34:00 AM I emphasized myself in the poem because Hammad writes from her own experiences and always refer s to them in her poetry, I wanted to emphasize myself and show what kind of an effect the breaking of truths had on me, exactly like how Hammad does in her poems.

Page 5: [13] Comment [PC19] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:34:00 AM In this line I am establishing myself as my own independent person, which mimics how Hammad describes herself in many of her poems. She defines herself among all the turmoil that exists in her life and in this poem, I am doing the same.

Page 5: [14] Comment [PC20] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:34:00 AM I ended the poem with a reflection of the title. Although Hammad does not always do this in her poetry, she is always able to write a line that enforces her initial meaning based on the title. I felt that repeating the title would help create a better rythm in my poem as well as semi-copy a style that Hammad uses herself.

Page 7: [15] Comment [PC29] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:36:00 AM Even though Hammad’s “What I Will” doesn’t include phrases like this, like her other poems have, I wanted to include it in this poem in order to make a balance between the two structures of writing. It almost mimics the way that Hammad established a balance between her cultures by constructing her own language in her book Breaking Poems. Only instead of using language like I had in the other, I used technique.

Page 7: [16] Comment [PC30] Preferred Customer 3/26/2010 10:36:00 AM I finished the poem with what I thought was a strong ending. It mimicked the way that Hammad’s poem “What I Will” had flowed. It started with what she wouldn’t do and then ended with a strong stance of what she will do for herself.