table of contents - urstrongurstrong.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/f101_facilitatorsguide.pdfexudes...

Table of Contents About URSTRONG ......................................................................................................................................... 1

About the Founder ........................................................................................................................................ 2

What is Friendology 101? ............................................................................................................................. 3

Why should I teach Friendology 101?.............................................................................................. 5

Why do boys need Friendology 101?............................................................................................... 6

Why do girls need Friendology 101? ............................................................................................... 7

Teaching Friendology 101: The Logistics ...................................................................................................... 8

How do I teach it? ............................................................................................................................ 8

What grades do I teach it to?........................................................................................................... 9

What if we can’t teach it to all grades? ........................................................................................... 9

Should I teach the boys & girls together? ...................................................................................... 10

When do I teach it? ........................................................................................................................ 11

What are the expectations of me, as a teacher? ........................................................................... 11

How is it organized? ....................................................................................................................... 12

How do I kick-it off? ....................................................................................................................... 13

The Procedure ................................................................................................................................ 14

Before the first session .................................................................................................................. 15

Background Information ............................................................................................................................. 16

URSTRONG: Improving the Wellbeing of Children ............................................................................... 16

URSTRONG & Positive Education ......................................................................................................... 22

URSTRONG Learning Outcomes ........................................................................................................... 25

www.urstrong.com [email protected] page 1

Enhancing the social-emotional wellbeing

Of children through friendship skills. URSTRONG is an internationally-recognized friendship program that empowers children with the skills, language, and self-confidence to be better friends and develop healthier relationships. The research clearly shows that children with healthy friendships perform better academically, have higher self-esteem, a more positive body image, get involved in more leadership roles, and make smarter decisions in future relationships. Facilitated by an international team of Licensed Presenters, URSTRONG has a suite of workshops designed specifically for students in Kindergarten to Grade 8 including parent-child workshops and professional development for educators. URSTRONG’s flagship Friendology 101 curriculum has been adopted by hundreds of schools around the world. The skills-based programming teaches children how to put a voice to their feelings, create healthy friendships, and build a solid foundation for future relationships. Along with learning what’s normal in a friendship and the difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships, students also learn and practice URSTRONG’s proven step-by-step approach for putting out common Friendship Fires™ (i.e. conflict) and how to combat Mean-on-Purpose behavior like a ninja. URSTRONG’s whole-school friendship strategy has improved the social climate in hundreds of schools globally, teaching kids a common language for confidently managing conflict and creating a culture rooted in respect and kindness. To learn more, please visit: www.urstrong.com.

http://www.urstrong.com/


About the Founder Dana Kerford is a Teacher, Friendship Expert, and the Founder of URSTRONG. After starting her career as a 4th grade teacher in Canada, Dana began to recognize the complexity and intensity of childhood friendships. Motivated to create cultures of kindness in schools and eradicate bullying, Dana launched her first skills-based friendship program in 2009. Since then, URSTRONG’s school-wide friendship strategy has been adopted by schools around the world. With a team of Presenters and a curriculum designed for educators, Friendology 101, URSTRONG has inspired students globally to strengthen relationship and conflict-resolution skills. Dana has been featured by numerous media and has presented at education conferences across North America, Australia, and Asia. URSTRONG’s ground-breaking efforts in empowering children in friendships, led to Dana’s participation in an exclusive conference on gender equality at the White House in 2016. A mother of two and an educator, Dana is passionate about empowering children with the skills, language, and self-confidence to develop healthier relationships.


What is Friendology 101?

Friendology 101 is a friendship curriculum that inspires kids to feel empowered,

develop a strong sense of self, and love themselves while learning to manage the

most important thing to them…their friendships.

The skills-based programming teaches kids a new “language” that they can connect with; giving them a

voice that allows them to articulate their experiences and get the help they need to foster healthy

friendships.

The Friendology 101 curriculum is designed as a framework to support a school-wide friendship

strategy. By providing students consistent language and strategies, Friendology 101 helps teachers

create a school culture that promotes positive mental health, wellbeing, and kindness.

The overarching Friendology 101 curriculum is designed for students in grades 1 to 6. Friendology 101

JUNIOR serves as an introductory module for young learners to support the deeper concepts taught in

grades 3 to 6.

Friendology 101 Junior For Students in Grades 1 & 2

1. How to Make Friends – focuses on the importance of embracing your true colors and honoring the true colors in other people. Students learn the art of friendship-making starting with how to introduce yourself, find something in common, and have a conversation.

2. How to Be a Great Friend – focuses on the difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships using the Friend-o-meter, attributes of a great friend, and the importance of spending the most time in healthy friendships. Students also learn what’s normal in a friendship through the 4 Friendship Facts.

3. How to Put out Friendship Fires – focuses on putting a voice to your feelings and conflict-resolution using our step-by-step approach for putting out Friendship Fires®. Students practice how to put out common Fires and Make it Right!

4. How to remember URSTRONG! – brings all the topics together by reviewing and reinforcing important concepts, recognizing the strengths in one another, and a chance for each child to showcase their “sole”.


Friendology 101 For Students in grades 3 to 6

1. How to Get Real – focuses on the importance of being true to who you are, embracing your unique self, and dispelling myths around gender stereotypes.

2. How to Make Friends – focuses on the art of friendship-making starting with how to introduce yourself, find something in common, and have a conversation. Students also learn what’s normal in a friendship through the 4 Friendship Facts.

3. How to Be a Great Friend – focuses on the difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships using the Friend-o-meter, attributes of a great friend, and the importance of spending the most time in healthy friendships.

4. How to Put out Friendship Fires – focuses on putting a voice to your feelings and conflict-resolution using our step-by-step approach for putting out Friendship Fires®.

5. How to be a Friendship Ninja – focuses on understanding the difference between normal conflict (Friendship Fires®) and Mean-on-Purpose behavior. Students learn how to say a Quick Comeback and report to a grown up to combat unkind behavior.

6. How to Handle Tricky Situations – highlights hot topics and common challenges in tween friendships including how to handle being in the middle, managing birthday parties, how to say “No!” to friends without feeling mean, and how to keep friendships healthy online.

7. How to Take Control & Feel Heard – focuses on taking control of butterflies (i.e. anxiety) and strategies for managing those ‘movies’ in our minds. Students also learn the importance of expressing how you feel and being a good listener.

8. How to remember URSTRONG! – brings all the topics together by reviewing and reinforcing important concepts, recognizing the strengths in one another, and a chance for each child to showcase their “sole”.


Why should I teach Friendology 101?

The mission of the URSTRONG programming is to proactively create a climate within friendships that

exudes trust, respect, and honesty. Using kids’ language for kids’ problems and a practical, step-by-step

approach, Friendology 101 teaches children to solve their own problems and make decisions that

support happy, healthy relationships.

Friendology 101 meets many learning objectives that are set out in provincial, state, and national health

curriculums around the world. The development of interpersonal skills, emotional literacy, and conflict-

resolution are central to the URSTRONG programming and a child’s wellbeing. [See Appendix:

URSTRONG Improving the Wellbeing of Children]

URSTRONG has identified a variety of learning outcomes, targeting both skills and attitudes, that

ultimately equip and empower children to take control of themselves and their social world. [See

Appendix: URSTRONG Learning Outcomes] With these learning outcomes at the core, the peripheral

benefits are enormous for the students, teachers, and parents. When children have the skills and

confidence to create healthy relationships and advocate for themselves, there’s an overall improvement

in their wellbeing. URSTRONG has seen the following results in students whose schools teach

Friendology 101 and implement the school-wide friendship strategy:

G Children feel happier

G Children feel better about themselves

G Children feel empowered and more in control of their social lives

G Children feel more confident

G Children feel more comfortable talking to their parents and teachers about peers

G Children feel lighter and more focused

G Children start to perform better academically

G Children start to take on more leadership roles

G Children transfer the skills in other relationships, making better decisions


Why do boys need Friendology 101? Boys put great value on their friendships. Fitting in, getting along, and being liked are extremely

important to boys at this critical time in their life when they’re shaping their morality and becoming

more self-aware. They form friendships around sports, video games, trading cards, science experiments,

or whatever the in-thing is for them at that moment. They sometimes take pleasure in competing with

one another and will playfully razz or even wrestle with their friends. It is common for boys to have

friendships that are infused with humor; they goof around, play pranks, and crack jokes with one

another. But, as Friendship Fact #1 states, No Friendship (or relationship) is Perfect and sometimes they

cross the line and end up in Friendship Fires®.

One of the challenges boys face is an inability to relate to someone who has interests that are vastly

different from their own. Friendship Fires® sometimes ignite simply because they are different. During

the tween stage, their unique character begins to emerge and their interests, passions, likes, and dislikes

become more integral to their personality. They start to ‘find their place’ along the sensitivity spectrum

which is expansive for boys; from the effeminate, sensitive boy who creatively expresses himself

through art to the rambunctious, sporty boy who expresses himself through rough play. Naturally, boys

start to gravitate towards those who have similar perspectives. However, respectfully connecting with

those who settle into a different zone along the sensitivity spectrum can sometimes be difficult.

Similar to girls, boys also experience gossip, relational aggression (typically associated with girls), had

their friends lie to them, brush off their feelings, or put them down for liking different things… Young

boys and girls have very similar Friendship Fires®. But for some boys, one of the roadblocks is putting a

voice to those feelings.

Historically, masculinity has been shown in dominance, strength, and stoicism - a quiet confidence short

of words. Although the culture for boys has changed, boys of today are still socialized to repress feelings.

They are told to “Suck it up! Be a man!” and expressions of emotion, especially through tears, are

sometimes seen as weak. This emasculation of emotions and feelings silences boys when their feelings

are truly hurt. So, naturally, some boys will keep it all in. They let that Friendship Fire burn up inside. But,

they’ve got to put out the Fire somehow…

Because boys are expected (and sometimes even allowed) to be physically aggressive, it is not

uncommon for boys to resort to putting out their Fires with their fists. These sometimes violent acts are

excused because, “Boys will be boys!” The combination of words symbolizing weakness and aggression

symbolizing masculinity, leads boys to a place where they are occasionally unable to express themselves

in a healthy way.

Friendology 101 helps boys tap into those intense feelings and put a voice to them, so they are less likely

to engage in stereotypical boy behaviors and more likely to de-escalate conflict through respectful,

honest conversation. Friendology 101 also helps boys bring that sensitivity spectrum closer together,

teaching them how to find that connection point so they can respect and embrace their differences.


Why do girls need Friendology 101? Friendships truly mean the world to girls and, as a result, girls form intimate, deeply-connected

relationships with their friends. However, no relationship is perfect (Friendship Fact #1) and it’s just a

matter of time before friction becomes flames – what URSTRONG calls, a Friendship Fire®.

It is a girl’s natural instinct to seek harmony in her relationships and, therefore, innately dread conflict.

There is an expectation that girls should be sweet and gentle. Girls are often told to “Be nice to

everyone!” and encouraged to “Just ignore her!” when seeking advice from an adult, reinforcing their

instinct to avoid conflict.

Some girls might initially cope with conflict on their own by repressing the uncomfortable feelings or

adjusting their own behavior to accommodate the other person. When the Friendship Fire is not put out,

however, it escalates, feelings become intense, and the littlest things start to drive them crazy. To deal

with these feelings, rather than standing up for themselves and having an honest conversation, girls are

instinctively tempted to choose inappropriate ways to feel better that are characteristic of the

stereotypical, catty girl behavior. They roll their eyes, build alliances, gossip, use exclusionary tactics,

send passive-aggressive text messages, end the friendship, and so on. These indirect ways of managing

conflict, called relational aggression, allow girls to portray a false appearance to the outside world of

“being nice to everyone.” Depending on a girl’s social status (well-liked to reclusive) and level of

confidence, some girls might take on the “Queen Bee” persona and be more overt about their Fires,

while others turn inward and suffer silently. The story, however, is the same…girls not having the tools

to manage conflict in a way that respects themselves and others.

Friendology 101 helps girls understand what is normal in a friendship and create friendships that are

transparent. Girls learn how to comfortably manage conflict to maintain and foster healthy

relationships so they’re less likely to engage in stereotypical girl behaviors and more likely to have an

open, honest conversation with their friend. Girls learn how to assert themselves with kindness.


Teaching Friendology 101: The Logistics

How do I teach it? Through the guidance of a slideshow created specifically to appeal to kids and prompt discussions, your

students will learn the foundation of understanding and maintaining healthy relationships.

There are two methods of delivering Friendology 101 to your students:

1. By using the slideshows and teaching notes as a guide, teach Friendology 101 yourself.

2. By using the videos in URSTRONG’s Educator Resource Centre, have Friendology 101 taught by

our Founder & Friendship Expert, Dana.

If you choose to use the videos, it is important to note the following:

B The videos were designed to ‘speak’ to a wide range of children, regardless of background or

country. Friendology 101 JUNIOR has students in grades 1 & 2 in mind and Friendology 101 has

students in grades 3 to 6 in mind.

B When gender is referenced, you will note that Dana refers to both “boys” and “girls”. This is still

suitable in a single-sex environment, as children will relate to the gender in which they identify.

B The teacher/instructor is expected to be following along throughout the videos and facilitate the

activities. A PAUSE icon will appear on the video, prompting you to push pause and guide the

children along. Once they complete the activity, simply return to the video by unpausing.

B Dana is Canadian. Your students might notice she has an accent or uses different words. Use this

as an opportunity to point out how we are all different. Feel free to pause the video throughout

to ‘translate’ for your students or elaborate on certain concepts.

Friendology 101 is meant as a jumping off point, a friendship framework, for you to bring to life in a

meaningful way for you and your students. Use the slides or videos as a guide and create a Friendology

101 experience that works best for you and your unique group.


What grades do I teach it to? To create a harmonious school culture, you want to ensure that ALL students are learning these skills

and using the same language and strategies. This also allows the teachers and parents to use a common

approach to support the students. It is important to think about how you can embed URSTRONG’s

school-wide friendship strategy across your school.

It is recommended that your school teaches:

B Friendology 101 Junior to students in grades 1 & 2 (with Kindergarten teachers introducing the

concepts when their students are developmentally ready) and,

B Friendology 101 to ALL students in grades 3 to 6 (with grades 7+ teachers reinforcing concepts

as required)

Although this program was designed with students in grades 1 to 6 in mind, you are welcome to teach it

to students younger or older than the recommended age should you feel it suits your students’ needs.

Adjust your teaching style to provide age-appropriate, relevant lessons that connect with your students.

URSTRONG’s core concepts are meant to be repeated year-by-year to help lock in learning. Like basic

math skills, you will build on their friendship skills by reviewing the foundational principles at each stage

in their development.

What if we can’t teach it to all grades? While it’s definitely the recommended approach, it can be difficult to get every teacher on board to

teach every grade. We know that is sometimes tricky!

Here are a few alternative ways of teaching Friendology 101 in your school:

B As an optional, after-school or lunch club.

u Caution: It is important that Friendology 101 is presented in a positive light, as it was

not designed to be a reactive program for students who are struggling and is counter to

our program’s philosophy and focus on prevention.

B Focus on a particular grade group. If your school has an intake year where students are coming

from various schools, focus on that particular year group and use the Friendology 101 program

to proactively create a positive social dynamic.

B If your school has a Guidance Counsellor or Wellbeing Director, have them take the lead and go

into the various classrooms teaching Friendology 101.


Be mindful about how you plan to unroll Friendology 101 and choose an approach that works best for

your school. It’s completely up to you!

Should I teach the boys and girls together? While you can certainly separate the genders, it is important to note that girls and boys have very similar

experiences in friendship.

Both girls and boys want to be liked, they want to be cool, popular, and fit in with their friends. Both

girls and boys have feelings that sometimes get hurt. They experience gossip, relational aggression

(typically assigned to just girls), physical aggression (typically assigned to just boys), along with being on

the receiving end of The Silent Treatment. Boys and girls have had their friends lie to them, brush off

their feelings, put them down for liking different things… boys and girls have very similar Friendship

Fires®!

While their friendships are mostly the same prior to adolescence, there are some noteworthy

differences stemming from the way boys and girls are socialized, including:

While girls are told, “Just ignore her! She’s just jealous,” boys are being told, “Suck it up!

Be a man!”

While girls are encouraged to maintain a sweet façade, boys are expected (and

sometimes allowed) to get physical with their friends.

While girls are expected to cry, boys are shamed for expression through tears.

Children are highly affected by gender stereotyping and it’s no surprise that these damaging messages

inevitably leak into the way they build and interact within their relationships.

Through Friendology 101, these gender-stereotypes are challenged and woven throughout the

discussions, giving the kids a common language. By teaching ALL CHILDREN, your students will learn to

honour and celebrate their unique differences, not as boys or girls, but as individuals.

If you choose to separate the genders, opportunities are mentioned in the teaching notes to dig deeper

with boys or girls.


When do I teach it? The sequential sessions are best delivered as one hour sessions taught once per week.

However, we know every school is different. Choose a schedule that works for you, but be sure to leave

a few days in between sessions to allow students time to absorb the concepts and put their learning to

practice. At the end of each session, a Friendology Project is assigned (e.g. invite a new friend for lunch,

spend a lunch recess alone, etc.) so it is important the students have an opportunity to complete these

tasks prior to the next session.

What are the expectations of me, as the teacher? You have a very important role to play. While the content is laid out for you, your job is to bring it to life

and make it meaningful for your students.

Ensuring your teaching style is engaging, dynamic, and fun is critical. It’s also extremely important to

consider all learning styles to help your students lock in the content. Be sure to make each session multi-

sensory and integrate movement as much as possible. While some opportunities for movement are

suggested, be sure to get your kids ‘feeling’ the material as much as possible.

As part of the License Agreement, Friendology 101 must be taught by qualified teaching professionals

who understand how students’ learn and are masterful at teaching the diverse needs in a classroom. We

only sell this program to schools for this reason to ensure top quality instruction by people trained in

Education.

Whether you teach Friendology 101 on your own or have Dana teach it to your students, you can deliver

this friendship program at your own pace, with your own style, to meet the unique needs of your

students. Have fun with it and give it your own personal flare!


How is it organized? Friendology 101 was created by a teacher for teachers. Knowing how busy the life of a teacher can be

and how little extra time you have, this program requires very little preparation. It’s very easy... Lesson

plans that are short and to-the-point, play the slideshows or videos, follow the teaching notes (or Dana’s

directions in the videos), discuss the concepts, and let the students do the rest. You’ll be amazed at how

interested they are and how many questions they’ll have for you!

The Friendology 101 sessions maintain consistency and flow by following the same format:

1. Review of the previous session’s Friendology Project

2. Display and teach the current session’s topic slides

3. Explain the current session’s Friendology Project

If you are not using the videos, teaching notes accompany the slideshow so that you can follow along

step-by-step with suggested activities and questions. Real-life scenarios are presented throughout the

program and can be easily adapted to suit the needs of your students.

In the bottom corner of the presentation slides, you may see these images that denote the following

actions:

If you see this image… It means… There is a video to go with the concept. Click on the

image to connect you to an external web browser. This requires internet access.

There is a suggested activity to get the kids active. Be sure to integrate movement as much as possible.

There is a handout to accompany the concept. Be sure to have these printed and ready in advance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up-FKa0aEuI


How do I kick it off? Getting the students, parents, and educators excited about Friendology 101 is an important

consideration! Here are a few ways to introduce the program and set it up for success:

B Invite one of URSTRONG’s Licensed Presenters to come in and facilitate a Language of

Friendship parent-child workshop. This allows the students, parents, and educators

to get on board right away, learn the lingo, and serves as a professional

development opportunity for you! Watching one of our “Friendship Experts”

teach the program will give you greater insight into the best way to approach the

program, enhancing your teaching practices and getting you rolling.

B Introduce Friendology 101 at an assembly to the whole school. Get creative! You could get a

group of teachers to role-play some of the common Friendship Fires® that are witnessed in the

classroom and on the playground and let the students know your school is here to help. Dress

like ninjas and throw on a superhero cape – Friendship Ninjas to the rescue!

B Customize and send home the letters that are provided within the Session 1 Lesson Plan to the

students and to their parents to get them excited and introduce them to Friendology 101.

B Encourage the Principal or Headmaster to customize and send the letter provided within the

Session 1 Lesson Plan to parents, providing background on what Friendology is all about and

how it aligns with the school’s values and overall wellbeing programming.


The Procedure

Each of the sessions follow a very similar procedure. Within the individual lesson plans, be sure to make

note of the objective, outcomes, and materials that are required. For each session, follow this process:

1. Before the students arrive, have music playing and create a really fun atmosphere. Project the

first slide (Title slide) of the session that you are on from the Friendology 101 slideshow or have

the video ready to go!

2. Wait at the door while students enter the room, with their Friendology folders accessible, and

ensure they grab their folder and a pencil.

3. Always begin on time because you will undoubtedly feel pressed for time, especially if you have

a group of students who want to ask lots of questions. Although it is hard, try to limit the

questions and hope that they will get their answers during the sessions – otherwise, tell the

students to come see you after. You could also consider having a Question & Answer period or

include Q & A time at the end of each session.

4. Start the slideshow or video. If you’re using the slideshow, present the information, while

referring to the teaching notes, and feel free to add to it with your own anecdotes or

explanations. Remember, this is just a guide. Put your own creative spin on it! Whether you’re

using the video or teaching on your own, some concepts might require you to elaborate, just to

ensure understanding.

5. Allow the students to take notes if they wish, but be sure they do not copy everything on every

slide (or you will be forever waiting on them). Note-taking is a skill that these children may not

have developed yet, so you could always suggest key words for them to write down to expedite

the process. They can either write notes down on the Things to Remember sheet or in their own

personal journals. You can bring along a stack of Things to Remember note paper to each session

if the students need more.

6. Keep the slide notes with you so that you can refer to them with each slide. Ideas will be

suggested, but always do what works for you. At the end of each session, ensure the children

have put their handouts in their folders and the Friendology Project (i.e. homework) is written

down somewhere. You can either collect folders or allow them to take them and bring them

back to each session. Remind them when the next session will take place and what they need to

bring. It is up to you if you would like to check the students complete their homework, but be

sure to preserve confidentiality.

7. Turn on music while the students are leaving and end on a fun note!

8. Review the next session’s lesson plan, slides or video, and teaching notes to see what’s coming

next.


Before the first session You’ve reviewed the entire program and have a good handle on Friendology 101. Friendology 101 is

scheduled, everyone is excited, and you are ready to go. Congratulations!

Here are a few items for your to-do list to prepare you for that very first session with your students:

Sometime prior to the first session, have your students complete the Pre-Assessment posted within Session 1. Be sure to analyze the results and get a handle on the students’ social-emotional competence coming in to Friendology 101. (Your students will complete the same assessment after the final session to demonstrate learning or help you identify areas that require reviewing.)

Review the lesson plan, slideshow and teaching notes (or video) for Session 1. Make note of the materials that are required, including copying enough handouts for your students.

Review The Instructions so you know what your teaching process looks like.

Test out the slideshow or video on your A/V equipment and make sure everything is working! If you’re using the slideshows, be sure to test the links (You will need internet!).

Prepare folders or binders and pencils for the students. This will be where they keep their handouts and pencil after each session so that they stay organized.

Get brown bags for the Looking into your Sole project and prepare yours as a sample.

By teaching Friendology 101, you will be giving your students the most special,

precious gift of all…the foundation they need to develop healthy relationships for

the rest of their lives.


URSTRONG: Improving the Wellbeing of Children If you talk to any teacher, they will tell you that there are “good years” and “bad years” in the classroom. Almost every time, the underlying factor that determines which way a year will go is entirely based on the social dynamics of a class. Certain classes are cohesive, harmonious and they just seem to click, while other classes are constantly full of drama. Social dynamics can make or break a year and have a huge impact on the wellbeing of students, parents, and teachers. This is where URSTRONG comes in and changes the social dynamics of, not only a class, but an entire school. Shifting a generation of children towards kindness and respect is part of the URSTRONG movement. The URSTRONG programming enhances the social-emotional wellbeing of children through friendship skills. With sequential workshops for children, parents, and educators, an in-school curriculum and professional development for educators, and supplemental resources to support the ongoing integration of the URSTRONG curricula, children form a solid foundation of affective functioning, conflict-resolution, and interpersonal skills. The framework and methodology, designed for children in grades 1 to 6, aligns with a Positive Education, proactive approach, giving children the skills to “flourish” and create a positive, harmonious learning environment. The URSTRONG curriculum identifies a variety of learning outcomes, targeting both skills and attitudes, that ultimately equip and empower children to take control of themselves and their social world. With URSTRONG’s learning outcomes as the foundation, the peripheral benefits are enormous for the students, teachers, and parents. When children have the skills and confidence to create healthy relationships and advocate for themselves, there’s an overall improvement in their wellbeing. The URSTRONG programming has seen the following results:

G Children feel happier

G Children feel better about themselves

G Children feel empowered and more in control of their social lives

G Children feel more confident

G Children feel more comfortable talking to their parents and teachers about peers

G Children feel lighter and more focused

G Children start to perform better academically

G Children start to take on more leadership roles

G Children transfer the skills in other relationships, making better decisions


With the growing awareness of mental health, educators and parents are starting to recognize that social-emotional learning (SEL) is essential in setting students up for success. Daniel Goleman’s wildly successful book released in 1995, Emotional Intelligence – Why it Can Matter More than IQ, brought to light the important work of psychologists who spent decades researching EI. The book outlined the preliminary evidence suggesting that SEL programs could change the culture of a school. As stated recently by Goleman himself (2016), “Now the case can be made scientifically: helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotions and impulses, and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” This form of ‘emotion coaching’, focusing on the development of a child’s feelings and impulses, has proven itself and supports the need for URSTRONG.

Social-Emotional Learning (SEL), as defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL), is: “the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.” To improve student achievement and wellbeing, children must first learn to understand, navigate, and control how they respond both inwardly and outwardly to the world around them. Learning how to make sense of the rollercoaster of thoughts and feelings associated with being human is a critical first step in a child’s emotional development. CASEL has identified five competencies that, together, support “positive social behaviors and peer relationships, fewer conduct problems, less emotional distress, and improved grades and test scores.” URSTRONG targets each of the five SEL competencies, empowering girls and boys to develop healthier relationships, in the following ways:


Self-awareness: The ability to accurately recognize one’s emotions and thoughts and their influence on behavior. This includes accurately assessing one’s strengths and limitations and possessing a well-grounded sense of confidence and optimism. URSTRONG walks children through the process of recognizing their feelings as it relates to friendships. They learn to identify and name their emotions so they can move towards a respectful conversation to put out Friendship Fires®. Children learn about body language and the importance of non-verbal communication. Students also identify their own strengths and weaknesses as a friend and learn how to move towards forgiveness through respectful, honest conversations. The program also teaches children the importance of self-compassion and self-love, respecting themselves enough to value and acknowledge how they feel and put a voice to those feelings.

Self-management: The ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations. This includes managing stress, controlling impulses, motivating oneself, and setting and working toward achieving personal and academic goals. URSTRONG gives children the skills and language to feel in control of their emotions within their social domain. Through scripts and role-play, children practice common scenarios that they experience with friends in the classroom, on the playground, and outside of school (e.g. birthday parties, playdates). They learn, step-by-step, how to move towards Forgive & Forget on the Friend-o-cycle to keep their friendships in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter.

The URSTRONG Friend-o-cycle Demonstrates the normal cycle in a healthy friendship. Children learn, step-by-step, how to Talk-it-Out to put out their Friendship Fires and move towards Forgive & Forget

The URSTRONG Friend-o-meter A visual tool used to help children thinking about the difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships. Students are taught the importance of spending the most time with friendships in the healthy zone.


Social awareness: The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others from diverse backgrounds and cultures, to understand social and ethical norms for behavior, and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.

URSTRONG’s 4 Friendship Facts give children a foundation for friendship, developing their awareness around what’s normal in a relationship. They learn that no friendship is perfect and conflict is a normal part of a relationship. Students learn that no two friendships are the same and are led to recognize what works and what doesn’t work within each friendship. Children learn that trust and respect are the two most important qualities in a friendship. They learn what each of these qualities look like in a friendship, the importance of understanding our differences, and how to honor each person’s unique perspective. Children also learn that friendships change because they change and this is a normal part of a relationship.

A big part of the URSTRONG programming is teaching children how to resolve conflict by respectfully putting out Friendship Fires®. They learn to listen and truly try to understand their friend’s perspective, strengthening their ability to empathize with others and understand that everyone is different.

Relationship skills: The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. This includes communicating clearly, listening actively, cooperating, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking and offering help when needed. As a skills-based friendship program, the URSTRONG curriculum completely centres on teaching children how to create and maintain healthy relationships. They learn that relationships are a choice and that


they can survive conflict. Through the steps to put out Friendship Fires®, they walk through the process of resolving conflict, keeping friendships healthy and transparent. Students learn how to be on both sides of that conversation, also practicing how to give and receive genuine apologies. With students in grades 3 to 6, we introduce the concept of Mean-on-Purpose and the word “bullying” is specifically avoided. “Bullying” is a confusing term for children, with lack of clarity around the meaning and misuse of the word (as noted below). Therefore, the URSTRONG programming classifies conflict into two categories: Friendship Fires® (normal conflict) and Mean-on-Purpose behavior. Children learn how to put out Friendship Fires® and learn to use a Quick Comeback (short statement) when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. When someone is Mean-on-Purpose, students learn to say their Quick Comeback, walk away, and report the incident to an adult. They practice effective reporting and learn the difference between tattling and reporting.


NOTE: The term “bullying” is purposefully not part of the URSTRONG programming for the following reasons:

(1) the term is misused, (2) the term leads people to label children as “bullies” (which URSTRONG is strongly against), and (3) with URSTRONG’s effective SEL programming, bullying becomes obsolete.

Responsible decision making: The ability to make constructive and respectful choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on consideration of ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms, the realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and the well-being of self and others. URSTRONG helps children to make wise decisions about how they spend their time. They are encouraged to spend the most time with friendships in the healthy zone on the Friend-o-meter. They also learn strategies for improving a friendship and moving into the healthy zone, through responsible choices focused on what works with friends. Children learn the importance of standing up for themselves. Giving children the skills, language, and self-confidence to be better friends and develop healthier relationships is at the core of the URSTRONG curriculum and the research linking social-emotional learning to positive wellbeing is extensive. In a 20-year study released in 2015 by researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University (published in the American Journal of Public Health), social skills are proven to be a greater indicator of future wellness over all other factors. The children who had problems resolving conflicts, sharing, cooperating and listening as kindergartners were less likely to have finished high school and college, and were more likely to have substance abuse problems and run-ins with the law. CASEL, who have conducted countless research studies, state that:

SEL can have a positive impact on school climate and promote a host of academic, social, and emotional benefits for students. Durlak, Weissberg et al.'s recent meta-analysis of 213 rigorous studies of SEL in schools indicates that students receiving quality SEL instruction demonstrated:

better academic performance: achievement scores an average of 11 percentile points higher than students who did not receive SEL instruction;

improved attitudes and behaviors: greater motivation to learn, deeper commitment to school, increased time devoted to schoolwork, and better classroom behavior;

fewer negative behaviors: decreased disruptive class behavior, noncompliance, aggression, delinquent acts, and disciplinary referrals; and

reduced emotional distress: fewer reports of student depression, anxiety, stress, and social withdrawal.


URSTRONG & Positive Education Positive Education, the application of the science behind Positive Psychology, focuses on untapping the full potential of students and the explicit teaching of wellbeing. Positive schools create an environment that focuses on strength-based practice and teaches children to embrace a growth mindset. The Positive Psychology model moves beyond psychology’s historic focus on dysfunction (i.e. weaknesses) to focus on function (i.e. strengths) – those qualities that cultivate happiness and fulfillment. URSTRONG aligns with the Positive Education philosophy, using a positive approach to teaching prosocial skills. Rather than reacting to negative behavior, the URSTRONG programming sets the foundation by teaching children the skills to create and maintain healthy relationships starting at 6 years old. Allowing children one year of school to settle in and form basic interpersonal skills (like sharing and fairness), URSTRONG digs deeper in grade 1 to guide children towards kindness, empathy, and resilience in relationships. “Flourish”, a term described by Positive Psychologist, Martin Seligman, recognizes the factors that lead to authentic happiness and wellbeing. Flourishing is sometimes defined simply as, “Feeling good and doing good.” Within the growing field of Positive Psychology, Seligman’s wellbeing model is based on 5 measurable elements:

Positive Emotion

Engagement

Relationships

Meaning and Purpose

Accomplishment The five pillars of PERMA, put emphasis on the whole child. This holistic approach encompasses each facet of a child, from mental and emotional wellness to their physical. While the URSTRONG programming addresses each of the 5 pillars, the biggest alignment comes within, what is arguably the most important domain in the PERMA model: Relationships. Positive social connections, promoting social integration and social support, have been linked to positive health behaviors and positive emotional states like feelings of belonging and purpose (McGonigal 2007). There is also overwhelming evidence to support that children with healthy friendships:

G perform better academically,

G have higher self-esteem,

G develop a more positive body image,

G get involved in more leadership roles,


G and make smarter decisions in future relationships. Relationships can offer a powerful positive influence on our overall health and happiness (Peterson 2006). The role of Positive Emotions in Positive Psychology is to activate broader learning. Research shows positivity expands the mind’s capacity, making it more accessible and open to learning. In the URSTRONG programming, efforts are made to create a fun, inviting environment. Music is an integral part of the workshop delivery; songs that appeal to children are chosen. Workshops begin and end with music and dancing is encouraged at the end to put the ‘cherry on top’ of their experience. Humor and a light-hearted approach is central, helping to make learning fun. With younger children, teddy bears and toy characters from home are brought in to serve as a comfort and allow children an opportunity to role-play with toys they are personally connected to. Engagement is achieved through URSTRONG’s multisensory approach, targeting all learning styles. Dr. Howard Gardner’s theory of Multiple Intelligences suggests that "students learn in ways that are identifiably distinctive. The broad spectrum of students - and perhaps the society as a whole - would be better served if disciplines could be presented in a numbers of ways and learning could be assessed through a variety of means." Efforts are made to integrate the various learning styles, engaging students in diverse ways, to teach children the URSTRONG principles, language, and skills.

While Meaning can be expressed in different forms, the URSTRONG programming allows children to personally identify with the concepts, connecting it to their own lives. The scenarios and examples are common experiences for children and provide them with context that makes the information real and meaningful, applicable to their day-to-day interactions. The programming also integrates the educators and parents, embedding it in a more holistic, cultural way in the world around them. The feeling of Achievement comes from setting and meeting goals. Children are encouraged in URSTRONG to push themselves to be the best version of who they are and are given step-by-step instruction around how to improve their friendships. Within the Friendology 101 curriculum, students are given weekly projects – personal and social experiments that encourage them to accomplish a task with positive results (e.g. invite a new friend for a playdate, interview their parents, spend one lunch recess alone, write in a gratitude journal every night). Children leave workshops feeling lighter and more in control, knowing exactly what to do the next time they encounter conflict with a friend.


The Journal of Positive Psychology published a report titled, A Multidimensional Approach to Measuring Well-being in Students, detailing the research supporting the importance of adopting a Positive Education approach. It states, “Positive education provides an antidote to youth depression, serves as a pathway to increased life satisfaction, promotes learning and creativity, enhances social cohesion, and promotes civic citizenship. Positive education introduces and normalizes self-inquiry and self-management of one’s mental health from a young age, which may lead to long-term benefits as youth move into adulthood with greater self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Further, the positive psychological characteristics developed through positive education have been linked to academic achievement, fewer risky behaviors, and better physical health in adulthood.” Social-emotional learning can be taught, is essential in contributing to a child’s success, and needs to be a daily practice. When the entire teaching team (parents and teachers) are working together to provide children with common language, strategies, and expectations, true potential is unlocked and children flourish.


URSTRONG Learning Outcomes

General Learning Outcomes

G Students will describe how conflict is normal and survivable in a friendship (Friendship Fact #1)

G Students will identify various types of friendships, recognizing that every friendship is different, and focus on what works in their friendships (Friendship Fact #2)

G Students will describe how trust & respect are essential in a friendship and be able to give examples (Friendship Fact #3)

G Students will explain how friendships change and why this is okay (Friendship Fact #4)

G Students will demonstrate realistic expectations in their friendships by applying the 4 Friendship Facts

G Students will describe the difference between healthy & unhealthy friendships using the Friend-o-meter and apply it to their own friendships

G Students will express how they are feeling in their friendships

G Students will identify the difference between a Friendship Fire and Mean-on-Purpose behavior

G Students will demonstrate how to put out a Friendship Fire® and move towards Forgive-and-Forget on the Friend-o-cycle

G Students will demonstrate how to say a Quick Comeback in reacting to Mean-on-Purpose behavior.

G Students will explain the role 'body language' has in communication with others and will demonstrate positive body language

G Students will identify when and how to report a situation to an adult

G Students will show self-worth by explaining they deserve healthy, respectful friendships

G Students will show self-love by being authentic and true to who they are in their friendships

G Students will focus on seeing themselves and their friendships through a positive lens

G Students will practice kindness and empathy in their friendships


Specific Learning Outcomes:

G What’s normal in a friendship (4 Friendship Facts) o Children recognize that conflict is normal o Children can identify various types of friends and that no two friendships are the same o Children recognize that friendships change o Children recognize that trust and respect are important in a friendship and can give

examples

G Difference between healthy & unhealthy friendships (Friend-o-meter) o Children can identify qualities that classify as a healthy friendship o Children can identify qualities that classify as an unhealthy friendship o Children express that it’s important to spend the most time in the healthy zone of the

Friend-o-meter o Students can draw and describe the Friend-o-meter

G How to put out a Friendship Fire® & what to do when someone is Mean-on-Purpose [NOTE: These outcomes are taught to students in grade 3+]

o Children retain and use the language/terms “Friendship Fires” and “Mean-on-Purpose” o Children can categorize conflict and identify ‘intent’ as the differentiating factor o Children can list and apply the steps for putting out Friendship Fires® (i.e. managing

conflict with a friend) o Children can list and apply the steps for reacting to Mean-on-Purpose behavior o Children can solve problems on their own and feel empowered o Children recognize it’s okay to stand up for themselves o Children are less likely to seek help from a teacher or parent in managing social issues o Children are less likely to engage in some of the common behaviors (relational

aggression, ending the friendship, alliance-building, exclusion, etc.) and are more likely to Talk-it-Out in dealing with conflict with a friend

o Children have a greater awareness of their own body language especially when they are managing conflict

o Children practice kindness and empathy in their friendships

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