Teaching Teens to Avoid PornographyBy Jocelyn Christensen

http://beinglds.blogspot.com

1.       Read “Tragedy at Rayad” by Ardeth G. Kapp (Ask the girls what parallels can be drawn from this parable.  What similarities do you see between the story and our society?  Who is Zynock?  And how are his tactics being used in our culture?)

2.       Define Pornography: “Any material that is designed to sexually arouse.”  

To make this definition accessible to all of the younger girls, we added that it is material that makes you uncomfortable (although you might not understand yet why), material that makes you blush, causes you embarrassment. This can be one way the Spirit tells you that something is not right in what you are seeing or hearing.

“Avoid pornography as you would the plague.” – Gordon B. Hinckley (How did the plague kill its victims?  How is pornography like a spiritual plague?  It destroys from the inside out.)

FTSOY – “Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way.”

Thomas S.Monson: "Pornography is especially dangerous and addictive.  Curious exploration of pornography can become a controlling habit, leading to coarser material and to sexual transgression.  Avoid pornography at all costs.  Don't be afraid to walk out of a movie, turn off a television set, or change a radio station if what's being presented does not meet your Heavenly Father's standards.  In short, if you have any question about whether a particular movie, book, or other form of entertainment is appropriate, don't see it, don't read it, don't participate."

3.       Why is Pornography dangerous to us? a.        It feeds us incorrect ideas about who we are and what love is.b.      It is addictive.c.       It changes our chemical make-up.d.      It destroys families.e.      It creates low self-esteem.f.        It creates a culture that devalues women and children.g.       It chases away the Spirit.

“Trying to avoid porn in our culture is a little like trying to avoid salt.  It is really difficult to do.  We are so surrounded by sexually provocative images that it is almost impossible to stay away from it.” – Wendy Ulrich

Gordon B. Hinckley: "While the matter of which I speak was a problem then, it is a much more serious problem now.  It grows increasingly worse.  It is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful.  I speak of pornography in all of its manifestations...The excuse is given that it is hard to avoid, that is is right at our fingertips and there is no escape.  Suppose a storm is raging and the winds howl and the snow swirls about you.  You find yourself unable to stop it.  But you can dress properly and seek shelter, and the storm will have no effect upon you.

4.       For more clues, let’s look at Lehi’s dream in the Book of Mormon.  Lehi’s Dream:  What did Lehi see and how can his dream help us today?

Let’s compare the mist of darkness in Lehi’s dream to today’s plight of pornography:

 1 Nephi 8:2323 And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they

wandered off and were lost.

1 Nephi 12:1717 And the mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil, which blindeth the eyes, and hardeneth the hearts of the children of men, and leadeth them away into broad roads, that they perish and are lost.

1 Nephi 8:2424 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.

a.        The “mist of darkness” in Lehi’s dream covers the path, causing those who had caught hold of the iron rod to fall into “strange paths”.b.      It causes spiritual blindness and insensitivity  (“blindeth the eyes, and hardeneth the hearts of the children of men”…leading them to seek after “broad” roads…they leave the straight and narrow.c.       Think about mist.  Why would Lehi’s see these temptations like a mist…what qualities do pornography and mists share in common?  Because of its mist-like qualities, pornography can take on almost any form and enter almost any space on the planet. (i.e. enters our home through commercials/movies, a constant stream of internet available on buses, airplanes, in public and private 24/7, popular books, even school curriculum, lewd jokes.)

Ezra Taft Benson: "The prophet Lehi also saw our day in his great visionary dream of the tree of life.  He saw that many people would wander blindly in the mists of darkness, which symbolized the temptations of the devil. (See 1 Ne. 12:17.)  He saw some fall away "in forbidden paths," others drown in rivers of filthiness, and still others wander in "strange roads." (1 Ne. 8:28, 32.)  When we read of the spreading curse of drugs, or read of the pernicious flood of pornography and immorality, do any of us doubt that these are the forbidden paths and rivers of filthiness Lehi described?"

Who is the next target for Porn?

“The use of pornography among our youth is growing. The new target audience for those who create pornography is young women.” – Julie B. Beck

Is Pornography really threatening our families?

Sister Beck: We have a huge problem in our families with pornography and the influence that it is having in our families. The powerful feeling that has been coming over me is, “Sisters, fight—fight, sisters.” You have the responsibility in your homes. Many of our women are being drawn into this behavior also. At our last general conference, President Thomas S. Monson gave “a word of

caution to all—both young and old, both male and female.”15

This is our responsibility.

The Church has given us many helps in this fight. We cannot sit and act like victims. This is the work of a determined adversary, and we have to take responsibility for defending our homes. We must teach our families everywhere—in family home evenings, in prayer and scripture study, and at mealtimes. We must create opportunities to teach. This will require limiting activities that take us to and fro. We need to use our opportunities to teach in formal and less formal settings.

5.       Use V.I.R.T.U.E. to guard yourself against Porn:a.       V – Visit places where the Holy Ghost is strong (i.e. church, temple, scriptures, YW, mutual, LDS.org, etc.) View material that invites the spirit and brings true happiness.b.      I – Be Informed about the people you date or spend time with. (Ask the tough questions.)  Be Informed about the material you read, movies you watch, music you listen to.  Read reviews from trusted online sources.c.       R – Respect yourself & others.  Respect the covenants you have made and will make in the temple.  Respect your

future spouse and children.  Respect other women by speaking against pornographic material in all of its forms.d.      T – Be True to your standards of dress & modesty.  (What you wear speaks volumes about how you value your self-worth.  Do not send mixed messages.  Do not lower your standards for special occasions.  Do not evoke inappropriate thoughts in the minds of others by dressing immodestly.)e.      U – Use the off button (much more often than you do!)f.        E – Be Modest with your Eyes and Ears.  Turn away from sexually explicit material, jokes, commercials, and TV programs that spoon-feed you small amounts of pornographic material until you gain an appetite for it.  Instead, do all that you can to “hunger and thirst after righteousness.”

A – TEACH OUR CHILDREN1. Tell them first – kids are most likely to believe the first

person who tells them.2. Tell them frankly and accurately – use correct terms about

their bodies and what bodies are for. Give them the spiritual knowledge they need to build a testimony about why they should avoid porn.

3. Tell them often – review/quiz them in private settings.

B – AVOID IT OURSELVES1. Be thou and example first – Think of the stripling

warriors…why do you think they could say “We do not doubt, our mothers knew it.”? Our actions must speak louder than our words.

2. Be frank & honest with yourself – Earlier this year, when I started studying this topic, I had to take a look at my own viewing/listening habits. I felt the spirit calling me to be more honest about my worthiness in this area. I had to assess the shows I was watching and how much inappropriate material I was letting into my own life. Think about the shows that you watch on TV AFTER your children go to bed.

Our children are most likely to deviate from our good examples…so we need to set the bar high for ourselves.

There are many ways to let ourselves off the hook. One alarming trend is that pornographic literature is becoming

all the rage among mothers and women. One thing that makes it easier to read this stuff in public is reading on an E-reader. No one has to know what you are reading. If you are serious about keeping yourself clean, don’t fall into this trap.

3. Check yourself often: It’s easy to become lax or to slip back into old habits…as Sister Beck said…the adversary is determined. You must be too.

I love this bit of advice from a church pamphlet:“Some materials that are not explicitly pornographic can still fill your life with darkness and deprive you of spiritual strength. Television programs, pictures, movies, songs, and books often treat unchastity and infidelity as common, appealing, and humorous. Avoid anything that drives the Holy Ghost from your life.”

C – WARNING SIGNS AND GETTING HELP

6.        CLOSING:  If you HAVE engaged in viewing pornography…or if after listening to what I have said, you feel that you have room to improve, there is a way to repent and find healing through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Steps to healing/repentance:  “Get on your knees and ask Heavenly Father to forgive you.  Pray for the desire to do what is right.  Pray for the courage to talk to your parents and the bishop, if necessary.  Regardless of your fears, they will continue to love you. They know what kind of society you are growing up in.  You don’t have to do this alone.  The path of repentance, though difficult, need not be traveled alone. 

“The power and freedom of forgiveness is real.  The Savior taught, “The truth shall make you free.” Joy comes from living the way the Savior lived.  He has asked us to keep our thoughts pure. He has asked us to maintain our self-respent.  He has asked us to become a good influence on our family and our friends (to ARISE AND SHINE FORTH!)  We are to love them and to lift them toward the light.  He has said “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”  He has promised He will help us live His standards.  He has said: “Take my yoke upon you…For my yoke is easy and

my burden is light.”

The world is heavy at times.  Whatever weight the world has put on you, that life and living in a wicked world has placed on you, place that weight and that burden at the feet of the Savior and begin to live again.

*Mention the church’s 12 step addiction recovery program.

**This talk was originally given to teenage girls at Girls Camp in 2012 and then modified and presented to women at a Women’s Conference in the fall of 2012. Feel free to modify as needed to share with different ages and audiences.