the 5'c's necessary in marriage

Tuesday, May 2, 2023 Kigume Karuri 1

5 ‘C’s NECESSARY IN MARRIAGE

Marriage is a fertile ground for conflicts. It is also one of the best relationships one

can have in life. I believe there are certain ingredients that are necessary in marriage.


• Many times couples are destroying their marriage and, most times, it’s not intentional and they didn’t even know it was occurring.


• Here are ways you may be destroying your marriage:

• Other interests come between you.• Unresolved conflict• The couple stops dreaming together.• Boredom.• Living separate agendas.


• In order to bring life into this kind of situation in marriage there is the need to carefully consider the following 5’C’s in your marriage. I believe they are so necessary to bring back vitality in any situation in our marriages.

• 1. Clarity• 2. Commitment• 3. Confession• 4. Community• 5. Consequences


1. Clarity• When someone can’t admit wrong, take

personal responsibility, or see what their part of the problem is, don’t blame them but assist them. Make it clear. It’s always easier to blame others or make excuses than to see clearly our own part of the problem.


• Matthew 6:22-23• "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore

your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness! (NKJV)


• Jesus tells us when our eye is healthy, our whole body is full of light. But he also goes on to warn those who think that they see clearly but really don’t. He tells them that they are in grave danger


• If someone’s sorrow is genuine, he stops lying to himself that it’s everyone else’s fault that he behaves the way he does. He stops telling himself that what he does isn’t that bad or that he can’t change.


• Change only begins when a person sees clearly he needs to change and that means taking responsibility for himself and his own destructive behaviors. He/she stops blaming, no more excuses, even if provoked.


2. Commitment: • There are things that people see quite clearly

yet they are not committed to changing them. They feel too hard or they’re not yet willing to give up the temporary good feelings they receive from overdoing, overeating or overspending.


• Some spouses want to change but do not want to do the work involved to actually change. Change is not easy. It takes total commitment to change and also takes time.


• For change to actually happen one must make the commitment to do the work to change so that these same sins that have broken trust in his/her marriage don’t continue to repeat themselves.


• A verbally abusive man may need to learn how to handle his frustrations, disappointments, and negative feelings when his wife upsets him or doesn’t do what he wants her to do. In the past he’s blamed her, insisting that if only she changed and didn’t upset him, he wouldn’t have acted that way.


• He must be committed to learning how to manage his own negative emotions when it actually happens and he feels furious.


3. Confession: • Confession is a major necessity in marriage.

No one changes overnight, but when he/she messes up and repeats old behavior, he/she must now do something differently than he/she has in the past. Now he/she confesses. One no longer hides, lies, minimizes, or blames someone else for his/her bad behavior.


• Practicing confession humbles us. It helps us put into practice the new attitudes and actions that we want to grow in. Repentance isn’t just saying I’m sorry; confession is turning from your sins and learning not to repeat them.


4. Community: • We don’t grow in isolation. We grow in a

community. God did not intend people to mature all by themselves. From birth he put infants into families to help them learn, grow, and mature.


• Hebrews 3:13• ‘but exhort one another daily, while it is

called "Today," lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin’. (NKJV)

• We need one another so that we don’t stay deceived about our own selves .


5. Consequences: • Choices have consequences. God has given

us freedom to choose. We can choose right or wrong, love or hate, good or bad, to change or not to change. Closely linked to our choices are the consequences of our choices.


• An important part of growing up is being able to see ahead to the consequences of our choices, both positive and negative.

• Spouses must see ahead to the results of their choices.

• It’s important to accept that when a spouse sins against his/her spouse there are always negative consequences.


• The 5 ‘C’s are crucial in our marriages. • Clarity, commitment, confession,

community, and consequences are five stepping stones that lead to greater growth and maturity, which can lead to lasting changes in our marriages.

the 5'c's necessary in marriage

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