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The Beginner's Guide to the Art of Mindfulness;How to Take Back Your Life from the Trivial

Table of Contents

2 – The 10 Signs That You Are Absent From Your Own Life

9 – 5 Ways to Let Go Of The Trivial and Embrace the Essential

16 – 15 Non-essential Things That Prevent Mindfulness

25 – 10 Meditation Tips for Non-meditation

Introduction

On the surface the concept of achieving a work life balance seems a logical and worthwhile goal. And achieving balance in your life is essential for your health and happiness, but the current idea of work-life “balance” seems preoccupied with, how to balance both “work” and “life” perfectly, 100 percent of the time—which breeds more stress. Work-life balance should not mean spending enormous time and energy agonizing about how to balance out the many, many tasks in our day. This is not true balance or harmony.

I believe that true work-life balance is not trying to learn how to efficiently cram all your to dos in a day, but learning to find and prioritize the essential in your life—at home or at work. If you try to do it all, you will end up not doing it well and exhausting yourself in the process. But finding and acting on the essential and letting go of the things that are eating into your valuable time, is where you will find true balance in your life.

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The 10 Signs That You Are Absent From Your Own Life

Some people have issues being in the moment. Enjoying where you are right now in your life sometimes can take practice. You might be suffering from anxiety, stress, and debilitating depression over everything you have to get done in a day. That alone can take a serious toll on your wellness. If you find that you are checking out from your own life and not enjoying anything at all, then it may be time to seek out help. You can learn ways to de-stress on your own, employ a therapist or life coach, or even just talk more to your friends.

If you find that your mind is wandering more often than not, know being present in your own life takes time. Letting all the things you have to do carry you away in waves of stressful unease can make you absent in your own life. It’s the opposite of mindfulness; being absent from your life isn’t the way to be your own health hero. I advise a total well-being approach to dealing with your life in the best way possible. Here are 10 signs to help you determine if you’re absent from your own life.

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Sign #10: You Don’t Enjoy Normal Hobbies Anymore

One of the clear-cut signs that you aren’t fully participating in your life is if you don’t enjoy your usual hobbies or activities anymore. So if you find that you aren’t reading, knitting, or playing that pickup game of basketball with your pals on the weekends anymore, it might be time to figure out why. Enjoying leisure pursuits is a sign of a healthy lifestyle.

Sign #9: Sleeping Becomes Your Escape

A big sign of even low-level depression is sleeping too much. If you find that your naps in the afternoon are lasting for hours on end, then you might need to evaluate what’s going on with you. Are you truly tired, or just trying to escape into unconscious oblivion? Sleeping too late if you don’t have anywhere to be is another problem. Avoiding tasks to lay in bed all day isn’t going to make you feel any better in the long run. So if you are getting more than the 7-9 hours that the National Sleep Association recommends for optimal functioning, it might be time to evaluate the reasons for avoiding your life.

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Sign #8: Avoiding Loved Ones Becomes a Priority

When you withdraw from life, you might also step back from the people that you love. This includes your extended family. Avoiding them because they aren’t your priority for whatever reason might be a sign that you are not being yourself.

Sign #7: Not Regularly Seeing Friends Anymore

This is along the lines of not seeing your extended family for periods of time. Social interaction is so important to good mental health. If you aren’t regularly seeing friends anymore, ask yourself why? Is it that you’re too busy with other things? Or is it something deeper that you are having trouble connecting with others, or a true social phobia or anxiety could be the culprit. Remember the wise words of Helen Keller, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” Friends foster a healthy sense of well-being.

Sign #6: Mindlessly Surfing The Web or Social Media

If you don’t find yourself you will get lost in the opinion of others. This is the perfect illustration of how you can get sucked into the internet and look to social media for validation. When you mindlessly surf the internet, are you really getting anything out of it? That’s up for you to decide, but if you routinely spend hours online, you might be missing out on things in real life.

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Sign #5: Wishing Your Life Were Different

Social media has played a big part in making people feel inadequate. It’s estimated that 2.34 billion people worldwide use social media. You look at your “friends” online with sites like Facebook or Twitter and feel that everyone else is doing so much better than you. Bigger houses, better cars, well-paying jobs, and happiness abound on the internet because people just mostly post the things they are bragging about. Feeling jealous or resentful of others can take you out of your own life. The “green-eyed monster” rears its ugly head and is truly a hideous beast to deal with.

Instead, it’s helpful to focus on the things you can do to improve your own life. For example, say you have always wanted to go back and get that master’s degree. What are you waiting for? Stop wishing and start doing. Action is the key to getting the life you have always dreamed of.

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Sign #4: Allowing Others To Dictate Your Life

This situation might occur when you, as an adult, are still listening to an overbearing parent or friend. Their opinions and unsolicited direction might be overshadowing your life, making you feel a bit like you don’t have any control. Guide your own destiny. You are the captain of your ship. Don’t allow someone else to sail it for you.

Sign #3: Working Too Much

It’s good to be dedicated to your job, but if you find that’s all you have going on in your life, you may be missing out. Working too much can contribute to an overall feeling of dissatisfaction. You have to discover the right balance between work and play for a better life. Take up a new hobby, schedule a spa trip, or even just go to a movie with a friend for a break from the monotony of too many hours at work. Another suggestion is to cook a new healthy recipe to try. Check out the options on my recipe page for some delicious choices.

If you are having a hard time disconnecting even when you are at home with your boss calling you at all hours, or frequently checking your email, then learn to shut off all electronics after a certain hour. You deserve some time away to decompress from your job or it could make you sick, mentally and physically, from the stress. Stress can contribute to all types of medical problems such as ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and even certain types of cancer, according to the National Cancer Institute. Be your own health hero and know where to draw the line.

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Sign #2: Negative Thoughts Consume You

Negative thoughts are self defeating and can take you out of your day-to-day life. Wallowing in all that negativity is not going to allow you to be present in your life. You’re focusing too much on the bad things that could happen or have happened. Don’t let negative emotions get the better of you. The significant power of positive thinking can bring you back to a better attitude. By eliminating negative self-talk you will inspire change in your life that will bring you success.

Sign #1: Not Caring About Your Health and Well-being

It’s so easy to grab a fast food meal when you are in a hurry, stop an exercise routine, or even have that extra slice of cake at someone’s birthday party. Making healthy choices is a lifelong commitment. Not caring about your health and well-being is like being a ghost in your own life. Be present in your own body. Pay attention to what it needs and wants with healthy food, exercise, and mindfulness.

If you are concerned that you don’t feel good about your life to the point where you have checked out mentally, talk to someone who can help you get your life back on track. Find a doctor who is stellar at finding ways to reconnect with the positive things in life so that you can be fully present and enjoy the way your life plays out. On my website I offer a vast array of tips, wellness options, and advice that is aimed to improve the health of America with compassion, empathy, and integrity.

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5 Ways to Let Go Of The Trivial

and Embrace the Essential

Modern life can be quite complicated at times. It seems like advances in technology should make things easier to handle, when in actuality it’s the opposite. Trying to keep up with a busy schedule, work, your family, and everything else that is on your plate can cause a litany of anxiety within your very bones. You may lay awake at night worrying about everything you need to do. Trying to let go of the trivial and embrace the essentials in life can be difficult. It’s not impossible, though, if you can subscribe to the old adage, “stop and smell the roses.” What that means is when you are flying through your life, sometimes it’s better to take a look around to assess what’s truly important to you. Here are 5 ways to shake off the excess things in life that aren’t relevant, and get back to basics. This will allow you to aspire to a more stress-free existence. Like I always say, “be your own health hero” and take each of these tips into practice.

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Limit Social Media Time

Since the rise of mobile devies, social media has gown to become more and more apart of our daily lives. According to a recent study, on average, Americans spend 4.7 hours every day on their social media accounts. If you break down how much time you spend trying to post the perfect selfie or group photos of the last time you went out with your pals for a night on the town, you will realise just how much time spend on them.

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While being on social media helps you to connect with friends and family, it should not be an essential part of your life. Disconnect regularly to enjoy more of the things you used to like doing. Maybe you’d read more, see a movie, or even just go for a walk. I recommend setting up a timer, or limit your time in some way on social platforms. You will find that the less time you spend online, the more time you will have to do the tings you love.

Put Down Your Smartphone

Another time-siphoning waste is your smartphone. Granted you might think you are connecting with your friends, but in reality how many of those texts you send are actually meaningful conversation? It doesn’t replace an honest face-to-face chat with a buddy over coffee at a local java joint.

Consider how many times per day you check your smartphone. Are you checking it while you are having dinner with your family? If you find that it’s getting harder and harder to put your smartphone away, you might have a problem. Try turning it completely off, not just on silent or vibrant, but power it down for a change when you are interacting with family or friends. Don’t they matter more than just staring endlessly at your screen? They should.

When you have children, try to get them to take a break from time to time from their smartphones or tablets, especially during the dinner hour where family conversation is so necessary. You might get some slack from your teenagers, but in the long run they will realize how vital it is to connect with their parents and siblings. You can’t make a smartphone laugh or hear about how their day went. People matter. It’s time to make them a priority over your devices.

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Today’s children are spending an average of seven hours a day on entertainment media, including televisions, computers, phones and other electronic devices.

Children and teens should engage with entertainment media for no more than one or two hours per day, and that should be high-quality content. It is important for kids to spend time on outdoor play, reading, hobbies, and using their imaginations in free play.

Television and other entertainment media should be avoided for infants and children under age 2. A child’s brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens.

Obsessive Cleaning

Everyone has heard of that famous quote, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” What it means is that being clean is a sign of virtue. Yet, you can take it too far if your immaculate home is stressing you out. It’s vital to keep a clean place to a certain extent, but if you find that you are spending more time cleaning than doing things that will relax

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you, it can be an issue. So next time you see that sink full of dirty dishes and decide that you don’t possibly have time to read your child a story, or go to that yoga class with a pal, think again. Do the things that you love and will remember for lasting happiness. No one is ever going to lay on their deathbed wishing that they did more dishes.

Take a break from that obsessive cleaning every now and then. Grab a cup of tea and sit back to listen to a wellness topic from one of my famous podcasts that can be found easily on my website.

Toxic Friends and Relatives Have To Go

This is a big category of your life that can make it absolutely miserable. Toxic friends and relatives can take up a ton of the mental real estate in your head. Martha Beck, a noted author and psychologist once said that, “when you free yourself from toxic situations you will find your essential self.” That’s sound advice to follow.

If you find that people who are difficult are chipping away at your sanity, it’s time to reevaluate who is important to you. Trivial people can be taxing on your time, money, and wellness. Give them a gentle boot out of your life. You’ll know soon enough if they were essential for your overall happiness or not. And this way you can focus on the good people in your life, instead of the bad ones.

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Perfect Meals Don’t Have To Be Difficult

I truly believe in the power of healthy meals. There are varieties of wellness-based meals and recipes on my website that are easy to make. The key here is simplicity. The more complicated you make meal time for you and your family, the more difficult this chore will be for you. Give up the idea of perfect meals. Making meals that are healthy and delicious doesn’t have to be that taxing.

Check out my recipe page to find a litany of terrific meal options that you can easily incorporate in your nutrition plan. When you make the commitment to eat healthier you are casting aside foods that aren’t good for you, but you are also putting your health first. That way you are going to love how much better you feel from a healthy lifestyle. Be your own health hero to discover just how important embracing the essentials are in life once you get rid of all those unnecessary distractions.

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15 Non-EssentailThings That Prevent

Mindfulness

When you think about mindfulness, what does that mean? Mindfulness is a term lately that has come to the forefront of wellness. It translates into being present in the moment. Jon Kabat-Zinn was one of the founding creators of mindful based wellness. He created “mindful based stress reduction” (MBSR) strategies that are used in medical centers around the world. Using these techniques on a regular basis can help prevent anxiety and depresion.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, at least 18 percent of the total population experiences some form of anxiety. It’s the number one mental disorder running rampant through our world. The National Institute of Mental Health is constantly trying to come up with solutions to solving this disorder for people to live healthier lives, with less stress. Mindfulness is one way to attack this problem.

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A key point of mindfulness is not letting your brain wander in a million different directions, which is a difficult task in a busy life. You are used to running on all cylinders for a long time now with everything you must do day-to-day. Jobs, family, your extensive to-do list, it goes on forever with each of your own over-scheduled days. One thing that will help you to deal with all of it in the best way possible is by seriously considering mindfulness. Putting it into practice is a whole other story. You can achieve it, be your own health hero, and cast aside things that aren’t helping you stay present. Here are 15 non-essential things that prevent mindfulness for an improved state of emotional health. I always say “becoming mindful means awaking to the gift of this moment.” Take that to heart because each second is precious in your own life.

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15: Reckless or Distracted Driving

Want to hear a scary statistic? Distracted driving, according to the Insurance Information Institute, is responsible for 25-30 percent of all automobile accidents. So be fully present when you are driving for safety reasons alone. Be mindful of how good it feels to operate your car in the right way.

14: Not Powering Down Before Bed

This is a big one. When you are constantly on electronic devices at night before bed, you aren’t allowing your mind to power down and relax. So turn off those tablets, computers, and smartphone screens at least an hour or two before bed. Read a book instead to wind down in the moment.

13: Social Media

The amount of time Americans are spending on social media is astronomical. It’s just taking up too much of our valuable time. When you are obsessed with what everyone on your “friend” list is doing on Facebook, you are taking yourself out of your own life.

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12: Toxic Relationships

Are bad relationships bringing you down in life? One way to practice being mindful is to get rid of those toxic people in your world who aren’t contributing to it in a positive way.

11: Eating Mindlessly

When was the last time you truly cherished a delicious meal? It doesn’t matter if it’s something simple you made yourself, or if you are at a fancy restaurant, either way savor each bite. It’s nourishing

your body and keeps you present and mindful about your meals. Virginia Woolf once said that, “one cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” This well known writer was absolutely right.

10: Binging Television Shows

Another tough habit to break, since everyone seems to want to “Netflix and chill” lately with all their favorite shows is excessive television viewing. Yet, seeing too much television or “binge watching” multiple hours of shows can lead to you zoning out of life and not taking the time to enjoy other hobbies. TV addiction is a real thing.

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9: Barreling Through Chores

Not many people actually enjoy house cleaning tasks, but that’s not a reason to barrel through them without thinking. For example while doing the dishes, stop to be in the moment. Feel the warmth of the water, the smoothness of your plates, and the feel of the bubbles on your skin. It may sound a little silly, but being mindful while doing the dishes can allow you to relax to a certain extent, instead of just frantically getting them done.

8: Being Too Busy To Exercise

Exercise is a natural stress reducer. Plus, it’s an excellent way to take care of your body. When you are too busy to exercise you are putting your health at risk. It’s just that simple. So stop skipping your weekly yoga sessions to do other things. Be mindful that your body needs the physical activity to be well.

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7: Negative Thoughts

Granted it’s hard to think positive thoughts all the time, but it’s beneficial to look at life with a glass half full, instead of hall empty. Negative thoughts are going to take you out of mindfulness into worry, anxiety, and cloudy thinking. Next time you find that you are wallowing in your own negativity, stop for a moment and refocus on better things. Think of reasons to be grateful instead of negative.

6: Multitasking

You may think that with all this fantastic technology you have access to that you are an amazing multi-tasker. Doing too many things at once can take you out of mindfulness. Slow down. That’s it! This advice is meant to bring you into the present moment of not doing a million things at once in theory.

5: Giving In To The Needs of Others

Of course this doesn’t mean that you can’t take care of your family. It’s your number one priority to take care of the ones you love. Although you can’t sacrifice your own wellness to do so. Giving in to the needs of others all the time, over your own, can lead to problems. Be mindful of how you spend your time. If you need a break, take one! Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give to your family.

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4: The Looming Future

Sometimes when you ponder too much about your future, you aren’t fully be in the moment of your life. This can completely eliminate mindfulness, which is all about the power of your mental state being in the present. Dial it down a notch if all you do is worry over your future, because that will naturally bring more happiness with your current lot in life.

3: Saying Yes All The Time

You have to be aware at how valuable your time is. Saying “yes” all the time to every request someone makes of you can be damaging to your wellness. A full plate is fine, an overflowing plate is demanding too much. Be protective of your time to stay in the moment.

2: Video Games

Various video games can sometimes be relaxing, but they aren’t going to allow you to be mindful. They are distractions from your day to day existence. If hours of time is mindlessly going down the drain while you play the latest “shoot em up” game, then it might be time to focus your energies on other things. A great mindfulness exercise is just simple meditation. Take five minutes out of your day, twice per day to mediate. Learning this practice is an easy way to be more mindful.

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1: Perfectionism

The definition of perfectionism according to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary is the “refusal to accept anything less than perfect.” If you hold yourself to some kind of insane standard all the time, then you aren’t living in the moment. It might lead to you be obsessive about your life in a poor way that is unhealthy. The best part of everyone is that we all have flaws. They make us unique, beautiful, and different from any other person. Drive is a good thing, but being a perfectionist is not going to allow you to live a mindful life.

If you have questions about how the distractions of life can take away from being mindful, look over some of the advice on my website. I am doctor that is committed to the power of mindfulness that will contribute to an overall improved health and wellbeing. Be your own health hero today in trying to be more mindful with your daily dealings. You’ll discover a much more peaceful and fulfilling existence.

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10 Meditation Tipsfor Non-meditation

Meditation has been around for thousands of years. It originated from a Hindu tradition that was intended to bring peace to a person’s soul. Modern meditation is meant to reduce stress, relax the body and help with mental growth. There has never been a better time in this busy world to step back and start your own guided meditation practice. It’s simple to learn even if you have never meditated before. Don’t be afraid to start because it can truly be one of the best ways to take care of yourself.

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Be your own health hero to take the theories of meditation to heart so that you can gain its many benefits. I firmly believe that the mind and body connection is a strong one and in meditation. In order to take care of your body in the right way, you must treat the mind as well. Meditation is one way to take care of both. “Being mindful means awakening to the gift of this moment,” is a quote by Dr. Nandi that perfectly encompasses how you should practice meditation. It’s worth reiterating. Be mindful of the moment. In order to get out of it what you need, you have to stay in the moment as much as you can during meditation. If you still have questions or doubts, here are 10 meditation tips for the non-meditator.

Tip #10: Don’t Panic if Your Mind Wanders

It’s all right if your mind wanders. The impossibility of staying in the moment can be hard with all the distractions of life. Your mind is used to going a hundred miles per hour at all times of the day and night. Taking it down to a peaceful state is a learned skill. You’ll get there with practice.

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Tip #9: Meditate Where You Are Comfortable

You don’t have to sit on the ground with your legs criss-crossed if that’s not comfortable for you. Sit wherever you want to! Or lie down; there aren’t any rules with meditation for beginners. The goal is just to get you in a calm place where you can let your mind relax for a period of time.

Tip #8: Try Transcendental Meditation

This is a good place for a beginner to start. Transcendental meditation is meant to bring clarity to your mind. The organization itself is a non-profit that was founded by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who developed the technique in 1959. He said that, “whatever we put our attention on will grow stronger in life.” So if you believe you can meditate, then you will! The base mediation is performed twice a day for 15 to 20 minutes with your eyes closed, while repeating a simple mantra. The mantra represents order. It’s very easy to learn and a good place to start. Worldwide, 4–10 million people practice this kind of meditation.

Tip #7: Start With Small Amounts

You don’t want to sit down for the first time and commit to an hour of full-on meditation. Start small and slow. Set aside five minutes to start, maybe just once a day for a while until you get in the swing of the routine of meditation. If you cannot do five minutes, start even smaller with just two minutes. That’s not a bad thing as long as you start practicing with a small amount of time.

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Tip #6: Focus on Your Breathing

One of the solid steps that will help a first-time mediator is to focus on your breathing. That’s a concrete way to bring your attention right into your body. By listening to your breathing and the feeling of your breath going in and out, then eventually you’ll be able to zero in on relaxing your mind. The regular respiratory rate, according to John Hopkins Medicine, is 12–16 breaths per minute in a healthy adult. Keep that in mind when you are breathing. Count them if it helps you stay on task with your mediation.

Tip #5: Seek Out Others

You can take a class if you choose. Maybe learning within a group setting will help you not feel so self-conscious while you meditate. That might let you develop stronger mediation skills in the long run. Vipassana is a common form of mediation that is the core of a Buddhist practice. The meaning of the word is to “see things as they really are.” Clear the mind with meditation, and you may be able to come to significant clarity within your own life.

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Tip #4: Turn Off Lights and Sounds

That includes shutting down your smartphone (so hard to do!), dimming the lights, and getting rid of other distractions, such as the television or radio. More peace is going to be attained in a silent environment.

Tip #3: Find a Phrase to Bring You Back

If you find that your mind is still going in a thousand directions, find a key phrase that will bring you back to the center of your meditation. It can be something as simple as one word, “calm.” Or even “return to me” will assist you in removing wayward thoughts that are getting in the middle of your sacred time to meditate.

Tip #2: Try Loving kindness Meditation

This is another specific meditation practice that you can learn. It’s called loving kindness meditation. According to the Center for the Contemplative Mind Society, this theory of meditation, or “metta,” as it’s called, is meant to extend love into your own body, then unto your loved ones, and finally directs its energy out into the world for all others. When you think about it, isn’t that just the best way to live, with love and kindness toward everyone, including yourself?

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Tip #1: Just Do It

You know the old Nike slogan, “just do it.” This absolutely applies to meditation. As I always say, be your own health hero, one of the ways you can get there is by learning the power of meditation. Even if you feel as if it’s not for you on the surface, you’ll never know until you actually try. It could easily change your life for the better.

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