THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR

Film In A Box TOOLKIT

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Why Screen The Children Next Door 3

The Issue The Organization

The Film 4

Before the Screening 5

Post-Screening Action Steps

Appendix 1: Post-Screening Discussion Questions 6

Appendix 2: Action Steps—Join the Movement 8

Appendix 3: The Change-A-Life Program 10

Appendix 4: Post-Screening & Discussion Survey 11

WHY SCREEN THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR is a milestone in the movement against Childhood Domestic Violence (CDV), as it poignantly tells the story of growing up with domestic violence for the big screen. This is a unique opportunity for all who grew up living with domestic violence or care about someone who did to join a movement that can build mass awareness, help them unlearn the LIES they learned growing up in that home, and give them the tools to realize their full potential. You’re in a position to help bring this global issue to light by simply screening the film in your community and starting open, informed conversation to end the silence. Awareness is currently less than 10%. But awareness, understanding, and sharing are essential for creating change.

THE ISSUE

CHILDHOOD DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (CDV) is growing up in a home with domestic violence. Anyone who grows up in a home with domestic violence is a child of domestic violence.

UNICEF calls it “one of the most pervasive human rights issues of our time.”

According to research, it’s as damaging as physical child abuse and has a profound impact on one’s life and hopes for the future.

Nearly 1 billion lives are impacted globally. 275 million children around the world live with Childhood Domestic Violence every year, and 725 million adults grew up living in homes with domestic violence.

In the US alone, 5 million children are impacted each year and 40 million adult Americans grew up in homes like these – that’s 1 in 7 people.

Over half of these children are being raised by these same adults.

CDV negatively impacts a developing brain and the formation of the cognitive belief system. It implants a series of LIES – falsehoods – that the person grows up to believe. Often, into adulthood, they have a false sense of shame and guilt. They believe they’re resentful, fearful, unlovable, worthless, etc – and then they act as such. According to leading researchers, they will not reach their full potential…unless they unlearn what was learned.

When these children grow up, they’re also 3x more likely to repeat the cycle, 6x more likely to commit suicide, 50x more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol, and 74x more likely to commit a violent crime.

Change can happen through awareness, understanding, and sharing. But awareness is less than 10%.

THE ORGANIZATION

CDV-Children of Domestic Violence is a national nonprofit that was developed to create universal awareness and scalable solutions accessible to all who are in need.

CDV’s mission is to help those who grow up living with domestic violence reach their full potential.

Learn more or join the conversation at www.cdv.org / www.facebook.com/cdv / www.twitter.com/CDVorg

THE FILM

Synopsis THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR, directed by Doug Block, executive-produced by Brian F. Martin, and produced by Lynda A. Hansen, is a unique and powerful look at domestic violence that recounts the fear and pain through the eyes of children. It’s a young family’s journey to uncover the truth that lies beneath a recurring cycle of violence and the solution to end it. In so doing, they discover the path to reaching their full potential. For more, see TheChildrenNextDoor.com.

Creating the Film

In January 2012, the Waldroup Family appeared on the Dr. Phil show, to share their harrowing story of domestic violence that culminated into one horrific incident, leaving one person dead. During the show, the family met and forged a relationship with Brian F. Martin, a successful entrepreneur and the founder of CDV, who himself grew up living with domestic violence. The connection between Brian and the Waldroups was instantaneous, and Brian was so moved by their story that he invited them to share it with the world in a documentary film. Taking the first step and sharing their experience gave the Waldroups an opportunity to help others, while also benefiting themselves, as sharing helps to transform the meaning of the experience. The filming began with the family’s visit to New York City in March 2012 and two subsequent visits by the filmmakers to the Waldroup’s hometown, where the family opened up their home and lives to the camera, speaking honestly and movingly about the violence in their home and their journey to heal. Throughout the filming, Brian continued to actively mentor and support the children, sharing with them some core truths to replace the falsehoods they had learned growing up in that home. Brian’s involvement in the children’s lives is one of the fundamental premises of the foundation’s work – that ONE caring, supportive adult stepping into the life of an impacted child with some simple messages can reveal the Truths they are unable to see for themselves and help change their life.

Film Festivals & Accolades

Since its release, THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR has been selected by and screened at 26 film festivals nationwide and abroad – including the Hamptons, DOC NYC, Hollywood, and Seattle True Independent film festivals. It has garnered praise by multiple critics and received 4 awards, including the Special Jury Prize at DOC NYC. Winner, Seattle True

Independent Film Festival

Hollywood Film Festival

Athens Int’l Film and Video Festival

Indianapolis Film Festival

Minneapolis St. Paul International Film Festival

Louisiana Int’l Film Festival

Nashville Film Festival

Hamptons Int’l Film Festival

Chicago Int’l Social Change Film Festival

Winner, DOC NYC

Winner, Paterson Falls Film Festival

Starz Denver Film Festival

Bahamas International Film Festival

Knoxville Film Festival

Breckenridge Festival of Film

Little Rock Film Festival

Columbia Gorge International Film Festival

Cinetarium Film Festival

Winner, St. Louis Int’l Film Festival

Film Festival for Women’s Rights Korea

Council on Social Work Education Film Festival

Golden Door International Film Festival

Thessaloniki Documentary Festival

Camerimage Int’l Film Festival

Rainier Independent Film Festival

Peace on Earth Film Festival

BEFORE THE SCREENING

Preparation

As you prepare to screen the film, you may wish to alert your audience to be on the lookout for the following:

1st Theme – Domestic violence is addressed from a unique perspective, a brand new lens – a childhood standpoint.

2nd Theme – Chelsea believed it was her fault, but she comes to realize it was not.

3rd Theme – Penny and Brad were former children of domestic violence, repeating what they learned, because there was no help for them to unlearn what was learned.

4th Theme – Sharing, between siblings and parent, or with another in general, opens up pathways to unlearn what was learned and discover the Truth.

5th Theme – Chelsea’s beliefs about herself and her abilities shift, as does her perception of her parents.

Discussion Questions

What is the film really about?

How is it different from what you expected or imagined?

Why do you think it is important that people know about childhood domestic violence?

What specific themes and key messages did the film successfully portray and get across?

How has the film changed your knowledge, understanding, and perspective on the subject of childhood domestic violence?

What steps can our community collectively take to contribute to positive change on this issue?

What are some things each of us can do/pursue individually to help make a difference?

Is non-action (doing nothing) a viable option? Are the consequences of non-action greater than those of action?

If you were to do one thing today to help make a difference, what would you do and why?

Are you interested in getting involved in smaller or larger ways to help make a difference? Leave your name and contact info on the ACTION Sign-Up Sheet or reach out to CDV at info@cdv.org.

For additional discussion questions, see the DISCUSSION QUESTIONS section in APPENDIX 1.

POST-SCREENING ACTION STEPS

After the film has screened, audience members are often left with the questions “What next?” and “What can I do to make a difference?” On the CDV website, at www.cdv.org and specifically www.cdv.org/get-involved, you will find a variety of ways to make a difference. The best ways are often the simplest, and some take only minutes. To learn more about the various ways you can get involved, reference the ACTION STEPS section that follows.

Appendix 1 POST-SCREENING DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Film-Based Questions

What is the film really about?

How well did it meet your expectations?

How is it different from what you expected or imagined?

Why do you think it is important that people know about childhood domestic violence?

Are you surprised by the statistics and facts the film points to?

Have the filmmakers done a good job of presenting the subject matter in a transparent, captivating, unbiased, and insightful way? If yes, what are some ways they’ve achieved this?

When the filmmakers present controversial issues, do they do a good job of giving all sides of the issue proper consideration?

What specific themes and key messages did the film successfully portray and get across?

What specific scenes or moments in the film really struck you or stood out? Why?

What particular comments or insights from the cast stand out the most? Why?

How do the somewhat graphic depictions of the brutal incident add to or take away from your understanding of the issue?

What is unique about this family’s experience with domestic violence? What is not unique but is rather common among families who love with domestic violence?

How do the children appear to be doing so many years after the incident happened?

Which character in the film do you most strongly identify with and why? What do you believe you and this person share in common?

How has the film changed your interest in the subject matter?

How has the film changed your knowledge, understanding, and perspective on the subject matter?

Did viewing the film lead to a new level of awareness or understanding of an aspect of or past experience in your own life?

Have any of your beliefs, values, and perspectives on life, relationships, family, choices, and your own potential shifted as a result? How?

What person or people in your life would you like to share this film with?

At the conclusion of the film, do you feel despair or hope for the Waldroup children’s future? Why?

Action-Focused Questions

What needs to happen for childhood domestic violence to be recognized and understood as the huge and very critical issue it is?

What is the role/responsibility that we (perhaps unwittingly) may be playing as individuals and collectively as a community to reinforce the cycle from one generation to the next?

What steps can our community collectively take to contribute to positive change on this issue?

What are some things that each of us can do/pursue individually to help make a difference on this issue?

Is non-action (doing nothing) a sound and viable option? Are the consequences of non-action greater than those of action?

If you were to do one thing today to help make a difference on this issue, what would you do and why?

Are you interested in getting involved in small or larger ways, to help make a difference? Leave your name and contact info on the ACTION Sign Up Sheet.

Appendix 2 ACTIONS STEPS – JOIN THE MOVEMENT After the film has screened, audience members are often left with the burning questions “what next?” and “what can I do to make a difference?” On the CDV website, at www.cdv.org and www.cdv.org/get-involved, you’ll find a variety of ways to make a difference. But the best ways are often the simplest and take literally only minutes.

Learn Because this problem remains largely unaddressed, with limited awareness and understanding, getting educated and educating others to fully understand it and talk about it is crucial. Visit www.cdv.org/learn to learn about CDV.

Start a Conversation One of the most effective ways to combat childhood domestic violence is to talk about it. This silent epidemic remains largely unspoken, despite the staggering statistics. So, without awareness, which is less than 10%, there can be no change. By simply starting a conversation about childhood domestic violence and its impact with others – family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or acquaintances – and directing them to our homepage where they can learn more, you can help dispel the myths and misconceptions, and help build full awareness and a deeper understanding of the scale and impact of this problem.

Join the Online Discussion Take advantage of the online platforms available to spread the word and spotlight childhood domestic violence. You can:

Like The Children Next Door’s FB page, share posts, and take part in the discussion – www.facebook.com/TheChildrenNextDoor

Like the Children of Domestic Violence FB page, share posts, and take part in the discussion – www.facebook.com/CDV

Follow Children of Domestic Violence on Twitter, comment, and retweet – www.twitter.com/CDVorg

Share the film trailer with others to help build awareness – https://vimeo.com/50225024

Share your story to heal and help empower others – www.cdv.org/share-your-story

Take the Change a Life Training Recommended by UNICEF 30 minutes of your time can help change a life. By taking our Change a Life program training, you can learn how a few simple actions and key messages can help change the life of a child impacted by domestic violence. Refer to the Change a Life factsheet to learn more or visit www.cdv.org/change-a-life

Donate Make a donation to help us deploy the scalable tools we’ve created as widely as possible to help those impacted by CDV across the nation and around the world. Your donation can also help us build and customize more programs and solutions to fit the needs of affected children and adults, as well as raise the level of awareness and further our advocacy to inform sound legislative and policy choices. A portion of your donation is tax-deductible and 100% will go towards programs and services. Visit www.cdv.org/donate

Volunteer You could also volunteer with Children of Domestic Violence to help expand our work and reach. There are many ways, big or small, to volunteer. For more information, please email us at info@cdv.org.

Host Your Own Film Screening You could also host your own screening, in your home, civic club, affiliated organization, education facility, or government institution. Contact us at film@cdv.org

Organize a Social Action Committee If you are eager to put the spotlight on CDV in your community and keep the dialogue going, you could start or join a CDV Social Action Committee and invite administrators, policymakers, and activists with a focus on this cause to join. Hold monthly meetings with action items clearly outlined – from reaching out to local officials with a CDV message to connecting with press, or planning community events to break the silence and build awareness. These are effective ways to elevate CDV as a critical issue in the community’s consciousness and keep it top-of-mind, fostering a deeper understanding of the problem and commitment to the solutions.

Start a Chapter If you are really moved by this cause and would like to do more on a more consistent, engaged level in your local community, you can start a Children of Domestic Violence chapter. We will support you in this effort and provide the tools and resources you need to help you start the chapter and succeed in making a difference.

Become a Book Ambassador Is there a book that has made a difference in your life? Do you wish the same for others? You can join the upcoming launch of our unique book, Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up With Domestic Violence and the Truths To Set You Free. It is due out in the fall from Penguin Random House and is the first book to provide those who grow up living with domestic violence with a roadmap to reclaim their lives and futures and reach their full potential. To learn how you can be a part of our book launch and change your own life or help make a difference in the life of someone else, visit www.cdv.org/invincible-the-book.

Appendix 3 THE CHANGE A LIFE PROGRAM (Print and share with attendees) Info: www.cdv.org/change-a-life Training: www.cdv.org/the-change-a-life-program

The Change a Life program was developed in partnership with one of the leading domestic violence research centers worldwide – the University of Minnesota. The most widely cited researcher globally, Dr. Jeffrey Edleson, Ph.D. – formerly Professor and Director of Research at the University of Minnesota School of Social Work and Director of the Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse, and currently, Dean and Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, School of Social Welfare – spearheaded the project. Change a Life is a free, interactive, cutting-edge 30-minute online training program that prepares, empowers, and guides any caring adult to step into the life of a child experiencing domestic violence with simple support and messages of hope that can help change their life. The program was built using the best and most promising practices in working with those impacted, with feedback from leading national organizations committed to the well-being of children, plus contributions from multiple experts in the field. There is no other program like it in the world today. It was endorsed by UNICEF and Children’s Mercy Hospitals, one of the leading children’s hospitals in the world, as the resource to help a child in need. The Award-Winning documentary film, THE CHILDREN NEXT DOOR, sponsored and produced by CDV—Children of Domestic Violence is a case study of the Change a Life program in action. It captures how a caring adult, stepped into the lives of the Waldroup children – as is the leading premise of the program – to help them unlearn what was learned and discover the truth about their potential. Find out more at www.cdv.org/change-a-life. Take the training at www.cdv.org/the-change-a-life-program.

Appendix 4 POST-SCREENING & DISCUSSION SURVEY (Print and share with attendees)

1. For what reason did you watch the film? a. Personal desire b. For a class c. Community Screening d. Other _______________________

2. How would you rate this film overall in relevance, artistic merit, representation of the issue, and impact (1 being poor and 10 being excellent)? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

3. Did you grow up living with domestic violence? a. No b. Yes c. Still not sure

4. If you did grow up living with domestic violence, were you aware you experienced childhood domestic violence before this film screening and discussion?

a. No b. I realized I experienced something but didn’t know what to call it until now c. Yes, I knew exactly what I experienced

5. Prior to this film, how well did you understand CDV (childhood domestic violence)? a. I was completely uninformed b. I understood it well c. I was somewhat unclear

6. Did the film increase your awareness and understanding? a. Yes, a lot b. Yes, somewhat c. Not sure d. Not really e. Not at all

7. What characters or moments in this film did you most identify with?

8. Did the film change your personal perspective or beliefs about domestic violence and specifically its impact

on children? How?

9. What specific themes did the film successfully portray?

10. What are the key messages and overall take-aways from this film?

11. What questions do you have that were not answered in the film?

12. Has the film inspired or motivated you to become more involved in this cause to help make a difference? a. Yes b. No c. Undecided

13. Would you recommend this film to others? Explain. a. Yes b. No c. Undecided

Children of Domestic Violence 1500 Broadway, 32nd Floor, New York, NY 10036 Tel: 212-330-8016 Email: info@cdv.org