the complete reference book for motivating self and others

BY

CHANDAN LAL PATARY

© 2017 Chandan Lal Patary

About the author: I am doing Research on Organization Development and Sustenance. I am a Practitioner and I am capturing my analysis and sharing my observation through my Writing. My focus areas are Operation Excellence, Innovation, Strategy, Execution excellence and correlation with People Leadership and impact of all these into Organizational growth. I am currently working as an agile coach. I have nearly two decades of deep experience in developing

software products across various domains and has successfully executed many Projects. I have worked on product development for domain like Healthcare, Aerospace, Building automation, Power automation, Industrial Automaton under real time mission critical product development to large scale application development. I am having near to two decade of industry experience. I am a certified PMP from 2008, Green Belt certified holder from 2005. I am an agile practioner and Certified Scrum Master from 2011. I completed Bachelor’s from National Institute of Technology (National Institute of Technology –Agartala, Tripura) in Electrical Engineering-1998. I have completed one year Executive General Management program from Indian Institute of Management-Bangalore, Karnataka in 2007. All the stories related to motivating individual and motivating others are shared in this book. I can be reachable through email/LinkedIn: [email protected]

mailto:[email protected]

AcknowledgementsThis book has been shaped by the contributions of many people. I’d liketo wholeheartedly thank everyone who reviewed chapters, sharedstories, or provided advice. All my friends and colleagues from currentand previous organization helped me to build this book.

11/12/2017 (2) What to do with the mid-level performer?How to help them? | LinkedIn

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What to do with the mid-level performer?How to help them?Published on July 26, 2015 |

The intellect, character, and skill possessed by any man are the product of certainoriginal tendencies and the training which they have received.-Edward Thorndike

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Most of the employees in the organization are not a star performer nor are they at thebottom 10% in the bell curve. They are the mid-level performer!!

They are the challenge for the organization.

Mid-level performers need assistance. Because of the various competency gaps theydon’t get the attention which they deserve and because of those gaps they cannotcontribute as expected level.

How can manager motivate the mid-level performers? Managing them? Helping them tocome out with as a best players?

Most of the mid-level performer once in their life time had been performed as a starperformer. Mid-level performer has ability to execute the tasks with superior quality butdue certain priority mismatch they are not able to contribute in current cycle.Organization need to apply patience and understand their needs and analyze thesituation.



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Too many star performers in a team is not a healthy sign. All star performer has certainbasic nature. They are demanding in nature, they are passionate, they want toachieve more, their expectation is high, they maintain high self-esteem and theyhave different priority in life. Most of the population in team with this mindset is nothealthy for the team. For healthy workplace organization need mixture of people.Minor dissatisfaction causes attrition to the star performer and impact the organizationand the running critical projects.

Most of the mid-level performer are loyal to the organization. They stick with theorganization for the long time. They build good network within the organizationand they become glue for the organization. For organization sustenance,Organization need to focus those mid-level performer and come up with proper plan forthose population. Career planning, training need, counseling, identification of thecompetency gap, personal and professional support is very much require to mid-levelperformer. Constant coaching, mentoring for work life balance without losing patienceis require to bring them. Back from current level.

Managing mid-level performer is always a challenge. Manager has to know therequirements, manager has to discuss with the employees to understand the priority intheir life. Need to match the job requirement vs current expectation vs competency gap.Manager has to bridge the gap on behalf of them. Most of them are not good atcommunication, manager as to come down to certain level to help them andcommunicate them the current priorities of the organization.

Most of the mid-level performer will not do what organization demand them to do atthat time. They will have some other desire or priorities in their mind which they are notable to communicate or managers are not able to understand o managers do not have



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any other options available other than current assignments if there is a job mismatchalso.

Managers has to look for opportunities where mid-level performer has done somethingworth of appreciation. Manager has to grab those opportunity to recognize them,motivate them as mid-level performer always badly need self-esteem boosterrecognition. It is very much require to maintain the motivation level for mid-levelperformer to bring them from current performance level to next level.

If we compare star performer vs mid-level performer, all star performer are self-aware about how to execute the tasks efficiently and branding the same on timewith perfection, communicate the results with all possible way so that they getthe due recognition. Over a period of time those star performers build the highconfidence level among team and with high self-esteem.

Sometime peer guidance does not work out if organization try to attach mentor-shipmodel with different performers. Line management has to involve to resolve this kind ofsituation by driving into the exact scenarios. Line management organization need tounderstand the bigger picture, analyze the case and guide the team members. Constantmotivation helps the situation to become better.

Mid-level performer though they are less passionate and low in motivation leveldoes not necessarily tells that they are not willing to perform. Managers need toknow that organization need them and invest time and money on them to bringthem into the expect level. Managers need to plan for them for long term careerplan so that they get the vision and feel attach with the organization vision andwork for it.



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Mid-level performer are essential for the organization growth. Mentoring them, guidingthem, train them will be helpful to the organization for long term. Managers need toprovide continuous feedback to the team members, guide them and show the directionso that proper mitigation can be taken well ahead. To improve the performancecontinuous bidirectional interaction is a must. Organization need to show theconfidence on them to increase their confidence, trust has to establish and build.

Understanding how to get the most out of these middle performers requires bothenabling them and motivating them with the right mix of rewards and recognitionthat is aligned with their personal drives and within reach through stretch goal.

Following this process correctly will lead to unprecedented success and sustainedcompetitive advantage.

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Mandar DeoDirector Application Delivery

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Nice one very true


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11/12/2017 (2) Building High Performance Team by using Pygmalion Effect | LinkedIn

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Building High Performance Team byusing Pygmalion EffectPublished on August 19, 2015 |

The crux of this psychological phenomenon is the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy: Ifyou believe something is true of yourself, eventually it will be.


Chandan Lal Patary 348 10 5 23


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Greater expectations drive greater performance: Building highperformance team.

Building high performance team is actually already believing that having a highperformance team! We are all working for world class team, world class softwaresolution! We are already with high performance team wherever we work, believing isbringing the reality.

Research has confirmed that people tend to act in ways that are consistent with whatothers expect of them. The source of low expectations in the workplace is often a bosswho sees an employee as a pathetic performer and then treats the employee differentlythan high performers. The employee who thinks he or she is a weak performer in theeyes of the boss will often perform down to expectations.

Jeff Immelt, CEO and chairman of GE says, “The ability to demand highperformance without being heartless has been part of GE for a long time.” Whenperformance is measured against these high standards, productivity is likely to increase,since people tend to live up to the expectations of their superiors.

As An agile coach we have to trust in this principle which is a proven concept toimplement at the team level.

Ensure that all the connected parties believe and practice this concept. If not, let uscorrect them.

Pygmalion Effect:



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The crux of this psychological phenomenon is the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy: Ifyou believe something is true of yourself, eventually it will be.

The first test of the Pygmalion Effect was performed by psychologist Robert Rosenthaland occurred in an elementary school classroom with first and second grade students. Atthe beginning of the year, all the students took an assessment test, and Rosenthal led theteachers to believe that certain students were capable of great academic achievement.Rosenthal chose these students at random, regardless of the actual results of the IQ tests.



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At the end of the year, when the students were retested, the group of earmarked highachievers did indeed show improvement over their peers.

Why was this? Later tests concluded that teachers subconsciously gave greateropportunities, attention, and feedback to the special group. Their expectations for thisgroup were higher, and their expectations created the reality.

Rosenthal summarized his finding:

What one person expects of another can come to serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy



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The effect is named after Pygmalion, a Cypriot sculptor in a narrative by Ovid in Greekmythology, who fell in love with a female statue named Galatea he had carved out ofivory.

People rise and fall to meet your level of expectations for them. If you expressskepticism and doubt in others, they will return your lack of confidence withmediocrity. But if you believe in them and expect them to do well, they will go theextra mile trying to do their best.

—JOHN C. MAXWELL

The applications for the Pygmalion Effect can have benefits for both personaldevelopment and leadership. Individually, we can challenge ourselves with moredifficult goals and tasks in an effort to rise to meet the challenge. As a leader, when weexpect great things from our team, we may see improved performance in return.

Positive attention and caring improved individual performance. Given this finding, anycoach or team member can use caring and outflowing concern at work to improve theperformance of the organization or work group. Humans crave attention and want to beseen positively, which is why “saving face” is so important in many cultures.

As a coach how we are perceived is vital to our standing in the team and in theorganization.

It feels good when management cares about you and it is motivating, as reflected invarious studies.

Let us treat your team members positively, and reap real bottom line benefits.



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11/12/2017 Achieving High Acceptability from a Team | LinkedIn

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Achieving High Acceptability from aTeamPublished on November 7, 2015 |

If a group or an individual is given the freedom to arrive at a decision themselves, it willincrease the probability that they will accept the decision.



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However, the trouble with this proposal is the uncertainty that they will make poordecisions.

One such system of using participation in leadership situations has been proposed byNorman Maier, a psychologist from the University of Michigan, based on considerable research.

Maier suggests that when a leader is making a decision of whether to allow a group toparticipate in decision making, s/he must first decide whether the issue being addressedis one that relates to the followers’ needs or impacts them in some significant way.

Maier’s research indicates that achieving high acceptability will primarily occur

(1) when each person involved participates in the discussion; (2) when each person gets to talk and present their own ideas; (3) when each person involved feels they received a benefit from the choice; (4) when each person feels respected by the others; (5) when each person involved feels a high-quality choice was made

Maier’s research suggests that obtaining a high-quality decision (a good choice) willmost likely occur:

(1) when there is agreement on what the problem or issue is; (2) when the discussion moves from issue, to possible solutions, and THEN to choice; (3) when a conflict of ideas is encouraged; (4) when all available facts are considered; (5) when sufficient time is given to the deliberations;


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(6) when solutions from other different situations are not allowed; (7) when the problem or issue is discussed at two time intervals not just one; (8) when the group making the decision is not too large.

Reference:Maier, N.R.F. (1963) Problem Solving Discussions and Conferences:Leadership Methods and Skills. New York: McGraw-Hill

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Jim SywilokAgile Coach at Indev, LLC

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Thank you for sharing. I can see this being very helpful scrum masters & agile coaches during their team's retrospective.

Chandan Lal PataryEnterprise Agile Coach at Société Générale

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11/12/2017 Attitude Defines our Altitude | LinkedIn

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Attitude Defines our AltitudePublished on August 31, 2015 |

Attitude!! Attitude!! Attitude defines our Altitude not our Aptitude…which directly linkto employees high Productivity.Spread this type thoughts to our team members.

Somebody quotes: “Ability is what we’re capable of doing. Motivation determineswhat we do. Attitude determines how well we do it.”



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Attitudes are thoughts that we have accepted as true and that lead us to think, feel, or actpositively or negatively toward a person, idea, or event. They represent an emotionalreadiness to behave in a particular manner.

Our values, those beliefs, and preferences we feel are important serve as afoundation for our attitudes.

Attitude is often synonyms with self-esteem. People formulate a powerful firstimpression of our within fist 12-30 seconds.Judgement is happening from physicalposture, appearance.

Each of us lives our life according to a unique set of core values.

One of the most significant differences between high and low achievers is choice ofattitude.


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People who go through life with a positive attitude are more likely to achieve theirpersonal and professional goals. People who filter their daily experiences through anegative attitude find it difficult to achieve contentment or satisfaction in any aspect oftheir lives.

Jack Welch, the former chairman and CEO of General Electric, believes that anorganization needs people with “positive energy” and needs to get rid of those peoplewho inject the workforce with “negative energy”—even if they are high performers.

Many organizations have discovered the link between workers’ attitudes andprofitability. This discovery has led to major changes in the hiring process.

Employers today are less likely to assume that applicants’ technical abilities are the bestindicators of their future performance. They have discovered that the lack of technicalskills is not the primary reason why most new hires fail to meet expectations.

It is their lack of interpersonal skills that counts. Happy employees are productiveemployees.

People who are self-motivated are inclined to set their own goals and monitor their ownprogress toward those goals.Agile team !! Self Driven Team members.

Their attitude is “I am responsible for this job.” They do not need a supervisor hovering around themmaking sure they are on task and accomplishing what they are supposed to bedoing.Micro managers will force to resign!


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Many find ways to administer their own rewards after they achieve their goals.Employers often retain and promote those employees who take the initiative to maketheir own decisions, find better ways of doing their jobs, read professional publications to learn new things, and monitor the media for advances in technology.

Optimistic thoughts give rise to positive attitudes and effective interpersonalrelationships. When we are an optimist, our coworkers, managers, and—perhaps mostimportant—our customers feel our energy and vitality and tend to mirror your behavior.

If we feel the need to become a more optimistic person, we can spend more timevisualizing ourself succeeding.

Let us monitor our self-talk and discover whether or not we are focusing on thenegative aspects of the problems and disappointments in our life, or if we arelooking at them as learning experiences that will eventually lead us toward our personal and professional goals.

Let us try to avoid having too much contact with pessimists, and refuse to be drawn intoa group of negative thinkers who see only problems, not solutions. Attitudes can becontagious.

An attitude is nothing more than a personal thought process. We cannot control thethinking that takes place in someone else’s mind, but we can sometimes influence it.

And sometimes we can’t do that either, so we have to set certain rules of behavior.Some organizations have come to the conclusion that behavior that offends or threatensothers must stop.


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When employees have positive attitudes, job performance and productivity arelikely to improve.

We are constantly placed in new situations with people from different backgrounds andcultures. Each time we go to a new school, take a new job, get a promotion, or move toa different neighborhood, we may need to alter our attitudes to cope effectively with thechange when events, such as a layoff, are beyond our control, we can accept this factand move on. It is often said that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90percent how we react to it.

Most companies realize that an employee’s attitude and performance cannot beseparated. When employees have negative attitudes about their work, their jobperformance and productivity suffer.

Excellent work + Poor Attitude = Poor Productivity

Excellent IQ+ Excellent Work + Poor Attitude = Poor Productivity

When employees work with right mindset output increase. “Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. “

do we have friends,colleagues,team members with such mindset?

How can we build such mindset? Agile team .......part of journey to build world classplace to live in ....


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11/12/2017 Basic Counseling Skills? for Leaders/Managers | LinkedIn

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Basic Counseling Skills? forLeaders/ManagersPublished on October 24, 2015 |

Counseling is a process by means of which the helper expresses care and concerntowards the person with a problem, and facilitates that person's personal growth andbrings about change through self-knowledge.



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–According to the American Counseling Association, counseling is:

“The application of mental health, psychological or human development principles,through cognitive, affective, behavioral or systemic interventions, strategies that addresswellness, personal growth, or career development, as well as pathology.”

Basic Counseling Skills

Whether working with couples or individuals, the following skills help counselors toestablish a positive environment, clarify what the client is saying, gather information,and offer support and encouragement: (Source: Gladding 2000)

Attending:

Attending is the use of physical behaviors such as smiling, leaning forward, making eyecontact, gesturing, and nodding to convey to clients that the counselor is interested inand open to them.

Open-ended and probing questions:

Open-ended and probing questions invite more than one or two word responses. Thesecan be used to gather information, increase clarity, stimulate thinking, or creatediscussion.


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Empathizing:

Empathy means placing yourself in the client’s situation while remaining objective.Empathizing requires the counselor to not be judgmental and to be sensitive andunderstanding.

Paraphrasing:

Paraphrasing means the counselor uses different words to restate in a nonjudgmentalway what the client has said. This is intended to help the client to know that thecounselor is aware of the client’s perspective and has heard what he or she has said.Paraphrasing and restating also allows the client to correct any misunderstanding on thepart of the counselor.

Reflective listening:

Reflective listening involves repeating what a client has said, paraphrasing, displayingempathy, and reflecting back verbal and nonverbal feelings. For example, saying, “Soyou feel…” or “It sounds like you…” ensures the counselor understands what the clienthas said.

What is Reflection? Carl Rogers is famous for using this technique. • It is also known as ‘echoing’. • Reflection is the mirroring of emotional communication. • This is done not only to show the client that the counselor is listening and


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empathizing/understanding but is mainly used to encourage the client to say more. • Its aim is to prompt the client to continue communicating or ‘carry on’ by echoing thethoughts of the client.

Empathy

• According to Rogers (1961)… – This is the ability to enter the client’s phenomenological world, to experience theclient’s world as if it were your own without ever losing the ‘as if’ quality. • It involves two specific skills: – Perception/understanding of what is taking place emotionally. – The ability to communicate your understanding of that to your client.

Blurring the boundaries between managerial and counseling role, Redman (1995) sees managers as on-going counselors who regard counseling as part of a manager’s everyday life,

“We all have been counseled at some time. We all have been counseled bysomebody else.

It probably hasn’t been called that, it was just something that happened as part of two people talking.... you have probably realized that you do some counseling”

Both Coaching and Counseling are “talking” therapies. There are similarities betweenCoaching and Counseling in as much that the process relies heavily on the relationshipbetween the counselor/coach and client and the need for the Counselor or Coach to be


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empathic, congruent and non-judgmental in their work with clients. Both requireenhanced listening skills, an ability to reflect, provide feedback, demonstrate honestyand gain trust.Chandan Lal Patary 233 2 1 2

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Let us focus both Coaching and Counseling in a context wherever applicable.

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Jenny GwilliamScrum Master Chapter Lead at Sky

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I feel every adult could benefit from developing and fine tuning these skills & not just Leaders and Managers.



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Behavior Analysis and BehaviorModification? Excellent Tool for an AgilecoachPublished on March 21, 2016 |

Let us have a look at this common story ....



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"A couple who had been living together for 3 years began to fight frequently. Theissues of disagreement ranged from who was going to do the dishes to thequality of their love life.

Disturbed, the couple went to a behavior analyst, a psychologist who specializedin behavior-modification techniques. He asked them to keep a detailed writtenrecord of their interactions over the next 2 weeks.

When they returned with the data, he carefully reviewed the records with them.In doing so, he noticed a pattern: Each of their arguments had occurred justafter one or the other had left a household chore undone, such as leaving dirtydishes in the sink or draping clothes on the only chair in the bedroom.

Using the data the couple had collected, the behavior analyst asked them to listall the chores that could possibly arise and assign each one a point valuedepending on how long it took to complete. Then he had them divide the choresequally and agree in a written contract to fulfill the ones assigned to them. Ifeither failed to carry out one of the assigned chores, he or she would have toplace $1 per point in a fund for the other to spend. They also agreed to aprogram of verbal praise, promising to reward each other verbally forcompleting a chore.

The couple agreed to try it for a month and to keep careful records of the numberof arguments they had during that period. To their surprise, the number declinedrapidly."


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Behavior modification , a formalized technique for promoting the frequency ofdesirable behaviors and decreasing the incidence of unwanted ones.

The techniques used by behavior analysts are as varied as the list of processesthat modify behavior.

Identifying goals and target behaviors . The first step is to define desired behavior. Is it an increase in time spent studying? A decrease in weight? An increase in theuse of language? A reduction in the amount of aggression displayed by a child? Thegoals must be stated in observable terms and must lead to specific targets. Forinstance, a goal might be “to increase study time,” whereas the target behaviorwould be “to study at least 2 hours per day on weekdays and an hour on Saturdays.”

Designing a data-recording system and recording preliminary data . Todetermine whether behavior has changed, it is necessary to collect data before anychanges are made in the situation. This information provides a baseline againstwhich future changes can be measured.

Selecting a behavior-change strategy . The crucial step is to select an appropriatestrategy. Because all the principles of learning can be employed to bring aboutbehavior change, a “package” of treatments is normally used. This might include thesystematic use of positive reinforcement for desired behavior (verbal praise orsomething more tangible, such as food), as well as a program of extinction forundesirable behavior (ignoring a child who throws a tantrum). Selecting the rightreinforces is critical, and it may


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be necessary to experiment a bit to find out what is important to a particularindividual.

Implementing the program . Probably the most important aspect of programimplementation is consistency. It is also important to reinforce the intendedbehavior. For example, suppose a mother wants her son to spend more time on hishomework, but as soon as he sits down to study, he asks for a snack. If the mothergets a snack for him, she is likely to be reinforcing her son’s delaying tactic, not hisstudying.

Keeping careful records after the program is implemented . Another crucial taskis record keeping. If the target behaviors are not monitored, there is no way ofknowing whether the program has actually been successful.

Evaluating and altering the ongoing program . Finally, the results of theprogram should be compared with baseline, pre-implementation data to determineits effectiveness. If the program has been successful, the procedures employed canbe phased out gradually. For instance, if the program called for reinforcing everyinstance of picking up one’s clothes from the bedroom floor, the reinforcementschedule could be modified to a fixed-ratio schedule in which every third instancewas reinforced. However, if the program has not been successful in bringing about the desiredbehavior change, consideration of other approaches might be advisable.

where can we use these? e.g My scrum master is not doing the ceremonies, My PO isnot attending demo meeting, My team members are not writing user stories, my this is


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not interested , that is not working , those managers will always blame etc.

How do we change the world ?

__________________________________________________


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Love the post? Hate the post? Have other ideas? Please leave a comment below!

Let us explore some discussion....

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Narayann SwaamiAgile Coach and Technology Leader

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The example of the couple is an example of resolving a behavior by the simple act of tracking it. The "art of changing the world" has not changed in itself, it is in being the change that the change happens.


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11/12/2017 Endure improved motivation through INTRINSIC motivation technique | LinkedIn

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Endure improved motivation throughINTRINSIC motivation techniquePublished on August 23, 2015 |

My son is not at all playing piano. I have consulted with “BABA/GURU” for hisadvice. BABA has shared with me below practices to try. I am practicing these toimprove the situation at home and office.



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I feel as a leader(Agile coach/Program manager/Development Manager etc.) we need toknow this theory very well so that our action to achieve something become permanent.We do not have to push much! Things become automatic.

How as Leader I will engage my team members? How I will motivate them? How I willenergize them ? How ?

The principles behind the Agile Manifesto include “build projects around motivatedindividuals. Give them the environment and support they need, and trust them toget the job done.” But why is motivation so important?

Let us explore intrinsic motivation through various research. Intrinsic motivation is thesustainable way of driving something. Let us hear from Horse’s mouth.

"Intrinsic motivation occurs when we act without any obvious external rewards. Wesimply enjoy an activity or see it as an opportunity to explore, learn, and actualize ourpotentials."(Coon & Mitterer, 2010)

"Intrinsic motivation refers to the reason why we perform certain activities for inherentsatisfaction or pleasure; you might say performing one of these activities in reinforcingin-and-of itself."(Brown, 2007)

According to (Ryan and Deci, 2000) (pp. 56), Intrinsic motivation is defined as thedoing of an activity for its inherent satisfaction rather than for some separableconsequence. When intrinsically motivated, a person is moved to act for the fun orchallenge entailed rather than because of external products, pressures or reward.


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Intrinsic motivation can be a powerful “engine of learning and development” (Larson& Rusk, 2011, p. 91).

Intrinsic motivation is shaped by many factors (Eccles & Roeser, 2009) and is subject toups and downs, as these factors change from day to day (Ryan & Deci, 2000; Urdan,2003).

Even in effective organized programs, the leaders report times when individual youth orthe group are unmotivated and difficult to motivate (Larson & Walker, 2010).

I also face the same with my kids.

An important conclusion of motivational researchers in recent years is that intrinsicmotivation is influenced by a wide array of factors at many levels of analysis (Eccles &Roeser, 2009; Shernoff & Bempechat, in press).

I am also facing same situation.


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One important level is a person’s immediate experience in an activity.Csikszentmihalyi’s(1984; Csikszentmihalyi & Larson, 1990) theory of “flow” identifiesfactors in a person’s immediate interactions that influence intrinsic motivation. Theseinclude experiencing clear goals in the activity, challenges that are matched to yourskills, and accurate feedback on your progress toward those goals. When peopleexperience these elements, they are more likely to experience a state of intrinsicmotivation that Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow.”

At another level, psychological research identifies individual dispositions thatinfluence intrinsic motivation. Ryan and Deci’s (2000) self-determination theory positsthat humans share three basic psychological needs (autonomy, relatedness, andcompetence) and that people are most motivated when an activity serves one or more ofthese needs.


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Additional disposition-like factors that contribute to motivation include a person’ssense of efficacy in the activity (Bandura, 1997) and whether the activity is congruentwith the person’s values, expectations, and goals (Eccles & Roesner, 2009).

Too hard to try with my kids! but tried to convert this theory into practice.

At another level, people’s interpersonal experiences in the setting are critical tomotivation (Shernoff, 2013). Do youth feel like they belong? Do they feel the peoplecan be trusted and care about them?

Intrinsic motivation is shaped by ongoing relationship, including the relationships thatdevelop in working together on an activity in the setting (Meyer & Smithenry, 2014).

Research also indicates that culture influences motivation: Many of the factors justmentioned—such as needs, expectations, goals, and the dynamics of relationships—are mediated by cultural norms and ways of thinking (Markus & Kitayama, 2003).

Ryan and Deci (2000) have identified autonomy—which they define as experience ofagency and ownership—as a universal psychological need and a primary contributor tointrinsic motivation (although, as noted above, individual agency is more highly valuedin Western culture; Markus & Kitayama, 2003).

In Ryan and Deci’s (2000) motivational theory, what these leaders were doing wasproviding youth with “autonomy support.”

Leaders provided some degree of initial structure for youth’s projects—general goals, models of how the work might unfold, and sometimes deadlines—so there was a track for youth to follow. This kind of “appropriate structure” is


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important to motivation in many theories; in situations without any structure, motivationis often short-lived (Eccles & Gootman, 2002).

Youth got in over their heads, got stuck, lost motivation, or were headed in a directionthat was unlikely to succeed. Leaders’ input helped youth get back on track, moveforward, and get remotivated (Larson & Angus, 2011a,2011b). Across the programs westudied, this input improved youth’s motivation because it helped them regain a sense ofagency and control over their work (Larson& Angus, 2011a).

am I doing ? if I am doing , all these enough?

Research on school motivation has often concluded, put comically: “It’s therelationships, stupid!” School motivation is influenced by students’ experiences ofinterpersonal safety, belonging, and emotional closeness to teachers and peers(Wentzel, 2009). Likewise, research in programs shows that positive relationships areimportant to youth’s engagement (Hirsch, 2005).

Theory and research on intrinsic motivation often focus on the individual as the unit ofanalysis, yet motivation can be a group experience (Markus & Kitayama, 2003).

In Ryan and Deci’s (2000) self-determination theory, “relatedness” is a basicpsychological need that contributes to intrinsic motivation. Collaborative work is foundto promote learning, partly because it increases motivation (Rogoff, 1998).

They balanced relating to youth in personal ways that created conditions of socialconnection, trust, and friendship—which is important to intrinsic motivation (Ryan &Deci, 2000)


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Motivation is influenced by many factors at multiple levels, including in the activity, inrelationships, and in the dispositions and goals that team members bring to a setting.Team members to develop knowledge and skill to sustain the motivation.

Team member’s experiences ownership matters.

Help the team members to connect with big picture and help them to achieve thesame.

Positive and caring relationship

Work and fun balance.

At the end BABA/Guru was correct , it really worked like magic.

when my son will play at concert !


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Reference:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: The psychology of engagement witheveryday life.New York, NY: Basic Books.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1995). Human autonomy: The basis for true self-esteem. InM. Kernis (Ed.), Efficacy, agency, and self-esteem (pp. 31–49). NewYork, NY: Plenum Press.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The “what” and “why” of goal pursuits: Humanneeds and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11, 227–268.


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11/12/2017 Find and Recognize Those Toxic Handler | LinkedIn

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Find and Recognize Those Toxic HandlerPublished on October 28, 2015 |

A great Harvard Business Review article titled “The Toxic Handler: OrganizationalHero—and Casualty” reveals the scientific basis for the importance of this role and howit should be rewarded and encouraged.

For this article, the authors interviewed and observed 70 executives who were either toxic handlers themselves or who had one working for them. The



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authors defined a toxic handler as “a manager who voluntarily shoulders the sadness,frustration, bitterness, and anger that are endemic to organizational life.”

In the article, the authors provide further insight into how beneficial these unsung heroes are. “[Great] ideas dry up when people are hurting or whenthey are focused on organizational dysfunction. It is toxic handlers who frequentlystep in and absorb others’ pain so that high-quality work continues to get done.”

The work of the toxic handler is absolutely vital to success when large teams have tocollaborate and overcome every obstacle, even those erected unintentionally by theorganization. Toxicity is frequent, and deadly to productivity.

Peter Frost, author of Toxic Emotions at Work, notes that many organizations andtheir leaders generate emotional pain, which is a form of toxicity. Some toxicity candemoralize employees, damage performances, and ultimately contaminate the health ofthe organization.

Toxicity often creates the kind of pain that shows up in worker’s diminished sense of self-worth. One or more workers who are depressed or angry can poison team or department morale.

Research identifies five specific ways in which the impact of toxic handlers is felt: 1. They listen empathetically . In essence, they always have time for people who needto talk. In fact, I always told people my door was open, and I meant it. As a result, teammembers stopped by to chat. Sometimes they needed reassurance, and others justwanted face time. Either way, I was a very good listener. Most important, I would neverjudge why they came, what was bothering them, or how important it was. All that


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mattered was it was important enough for them to stop by. Research confirms that beingnonjudgmental is critical. 2. They suggest solutions . Compassion is all about helping. Alleviate the pain if you can by listening, but help directly by intervening if that is what it takes.Every minute a professional is cognitively off the air, you are losing partial or fullproductivity. As a leader, you must address this for the welfare of the team. 3.They work behind the scenes to prevent pain . If you know someone is going to face a situation that is very unpleasant, intervene if doing so makes sense.Preventing a painful situation is better than dealing with the aftermath, so be alert, andbe proactive. 4. They carry the confidence of others . To be in this role, you must be absolutely trustworthy. If not, who will ever come to you? And, rest assured, if you violate an individual ’s trust, it will spread. Humans have tremendous survival skills, and one such skill is group members alerting others to danger. Sometimes this is referred to as gossip, but it is how we are wired, and bad news travels fast. Be a confidant. 5. They reframe difficult messages . As just noted, reframing difficult messages is valuable—especially if you work in an organization where a senior leader or the chief executive doesn’t understand the feelings of others. It can keep you busy, but the dividends are high.

As an Agile coach and leader we need to recognize those team members who createpositive work place, we need to produce such team members more and more.

Reference: P. Frost and S. Robinson, “The Toxic Handler: Organizational Hero—and Casualty,” Harvard Business Review (July-August 1999, 97–106


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Finding your Purpose through Game?Published on October 8, 2017 | Edit article View stats


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We played one game with the team, theme is "How can I inspire myself and helpothers to achieve the same?"

Whole team is require. It will take 180 mins for 8 team members. 15 mins for each teammembers in isolation to write down( 8 nos A4 size paper, Large size room for all theteam members to sit comfortably, blocked for 2-3 hrs , no disturbance or interrupt).

Start listing books, events, films, poems, people, quotes, places, paintings,experiences and whatever you find uplifting and exceptionally exciting( 15 minseach).

As we recall these, or even read or see them again, we become aware of why theyinspire us and the feelings they generate.Why they build our purpose?

All the team members have to do this exercise and share.

Note: Rule of the game: No body criticize and tell any comments about others, We takethe input as it is. Complete respect and we create the environment Safe to share.

Now consider what could produce similar feelings about the performance in yourown company. What would need to be happening for you to feel inspired?


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Let us all spend 5 mins each to share whatever we have written down.( total 40 mins).

Listen carefully with EARS open.

Disclosing personal information in this way helps build better workingrelationships. Suddenly people seem human and capable of being affectedemotionally, and indeed inspired.

Starting a conversation about inspiration puts your collective attention on the subject.

Then, by extending it to focus on workplace performance, you start a new dialogue thatcould identify routes to truly exceptional results. You can create a stream of productiveideas for transforming how you serve customers, present products and deal with staff.

Talk about inspiration as an essential component of high-level performance.

Inspiration alters people inwardly so that they think and act differently, oftenperforming beyond their own and other people’s expectations.

They feel the difference.

We need to discover each other's purpose and inspiration triggers.


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This exercise to help us to connect with the people and help us to connect withorganizational purpose and self.

Very powerful exercise ....Experience it..

Love this POST? NOT liked this POST? Please leave your comments.


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11/12/2017 Flow: Increase Engagement for Satisfaction | LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/flow-increase-engagement-satisfaction-patary-pmp-csm-cssgb/?trk=mp-reader-card 1/7

Flow: Increase Engagement forSatisfactionPublished on October 26, 2015 |

In a New York Times article, “Do Happier People Work Harder?” the authors makereference to a Gallup poll that shows our workers are more disengaged than ever. According to the article, Gallup ’s Healthways Well-Being Index is based on



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a daily poll of 1,000 adults since 2008. Americans feel worse about their jobs and work environments than they ever have before.

It is estimated by Gallup that this disengagement crisis is costing the economy over$300 billion a year.

In his book Finding Flow, Csíkszentmihályi explains that flow is likely to occur whenan individual is faced with a task that has clear goals that require specificresponses.

A game of chess is a good example of when a flow state might occur. For the durationof a game, the player has very specific goals and responses, allowing attention to befocused entirely on the game during the period of play.

"Flow also happens when a person's skills are fully involved in overcoming achallenge that is just about manageable, so it acts as a magnet for learning newskills and increasing challenges,"

Csíkszentmihályi explains. "If challenges are too low, one gets back to flow byincreasing them. If challenges are too great, one can return to the flow state by learningnew skills."

The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limitsin a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimalexperience is thus something we make happen. (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990, p.3)


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Conditions of flow, defined as a state in which challenges and skills are equallymatched, play an extremely important role in the workplace.


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Cziksentmihalyi defines flow as “a state in which people are so involved in an activitythat nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people willcontinue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.” (Cskikszentmihalyi,1990, p.4)

One cannot force oneself to enter flow. It just happens. A flow state can be enteredwhile performing any activity, although it is most likely to occur when one is


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wholeheartedly performing a task or activity for intrinsic purposes

Csíkszentmihályi identifies the following ten factors as accompanying an experience offlow

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and alignappropriately with one's skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skilllevel should both be high.[5] 2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (aperson engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it). 3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness. 4. Distorted sense of time, one's subjective experience of time is altered. 5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activityare apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed). 6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor toodifficult). 7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity. 8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action. 9. A lack of awareness of bodily needs (to the extent that one can reach a point of greathunger or fatigue without realizing it) 10. Absorption into the activity, narrowing of the focus of awareness down to theactivity itself, action awareness merging

Csikszentmihalyi argues that with increased experiences of flow, people experience“growth towards complexity,” in which people flourish as their achievements grow and


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with that comes development of increasing “emotional, cognitive, and social complexity” (Vissar).

Employees are completely engaged when they are in flow zone.To be in flow zone , wehave to encourage them into High skill and high challenge level.

Reference:Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly (1990). Flow: The Psychology of OptimalExperience. New York, NY: Harper and Row.

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11/12/2017 Free-Rider Problem? Ringelmann Effect | LinkedIn

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Free-Rider Problem? Ringelmann EffectPublished on November 15, 2015 |

In 1913, Max Ringelmann, a French agricultural engineer, conducted what manybelieve was the first recorded social psychology experiment.

He carefully measured how much force people exerted when they pulled a rope alone,and when they pulled it with up to thirteen additional people.



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He conducted additional studies in the lab and in the field and summarized all theseresults together.

His results were mind-boggling.

Applying his findings back to the rope experiment, Ringelmann found that when aperson was added to the rope, everyone pulled with less strength.

When two people were on the line, they each pulled with 93 percent of the force ofa person working alone.

Three people each pulled with 85 percent of the force, and so on.

By the time eight people joined the rope, they were each pulling with half the forceof a single person.

As a result, a team of eight pulled the rope with no more total force than a team ofseven.

In a set of simple rope pulling experiments he discovered that, in what is now known asthe Ringelmann Effect, people’s efforts quickly diminish as team size increases.

Eight people, he found, didn’t even pull as hard as four individuals. He rationalizedthe decay in effort by suggesting it was difficult for team members to coordinate effort,and left it at that.

The Ringelmann Effect is another name for the dreaded free-rider problem. Free ridersare people who try to hide in a crowd and let others do the work.


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A summary of seventy-eight free-rider experiments published in the Journal ofPersonality and Social Psychology validated Ringelmann’s finding—thatincreasing the size of a group causes a decrease in individual effort.

But the study went a step further and examined the structural elements of cultures thatcause free-rider behavior.

According to Ringelmann (1913), groups fail to reach their full potential becausevarious interpersonal processes detracts from the group’s overall proficiency.

Namely, two distinct processes have been identified as potential sources for the reducedproductivity of groups: loss of motivation, and coordination problems.

Part of Amazon.com’s behavioral code is the “two-pizza rule”: if a project team can’t befed by two pizzas, it’s too big.

The rule exemplifies Bezos’s belief that real work should be managed by the smallestteams possible.

It is also a perfect illustration of a hunting party.

Less is more for team !! No body can hide !

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Hey Coach, Please guide me, How do Imotivate my team members?Published on July 19, 2016 | Edit article View stats


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Most of the time I get this question from my line managers.

I thought let me give it a thought and apply same to my coaches.

This table is a snapshot most of the famous motivational theories.

Chip Conley, founder of the Joie de Vivre hotel chain and Head of Hospitality atAirbnb, used the Hierarchy of Needs pyramid to transform his business. According toChip, many managers struggle with the abstract concept of self actualization and sofocus on lower levels of the pyramid instead.

Conley found one way of helping with higher levels was to help his employeesunderstand the meaning of their roles during a staff retreat…Conley’s team were able to


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realize the importance of their job to the company and to the people they were helping.By showing them the value of their roles, the team were able to feel respected andmotivated to work harder.

We all have all these drivers, if we first satisfy lower order needs and focus more withhigher order needs, employees will become self driven.As a leader how can we dobelow ?

How can we provide sensory, intellectual and emotional stimulation?

How can we provide team members status to be acknowledged and also belongingto something?

How can we create a strong, motivating work environment where high performanceis standard?

How can we creates a sense of connectedness and comfort?

How can we create enjoyment of passion about anything, from sports to supportinginternational causes?

How can we encourage people to perform better at work by having andcommunicating high expectations of them?


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How can we encourage Happiness?

How can we stop punishing for failure?

How can we make a major effort to ensure that we offer competitive wages andother forms of compensation?

How can we grow team members by providing challenging new tasks which arereachable and according to their interest?

How can we give team members freedom to find their own unique solution which isout of the box? through which they achieve personal and professional achievement?

How can we create good support system and guidance for the team members so thatthey got inspire to do the assignment?

How can to rotate team members job so that they do not do the routine work, letthem discover new interesting work?

How can I set stretch goal for the team members and recognized on achievement thesame in public?


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People don’t believe what you tell them. They rarely believe what you show them.They often believe what their friends tell them. They always believe what they tellthemselves.


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—Seth Godin

some points from south west airlines

Wikipedia mentions these three facts:

Southwest Airlines (SWA) is one of the world's most profitable airlines, posting aprofit for the 36th consecutive year in January 2009.

SWA is the largest airline in the United States by number of passengers carrieddomestically per year (as of December 31, 2007)

SWA has carried more customers than any other U.S. airline since August 2006 forcombined domestic and international passengers according to the U.S. Departmentof Transportation's Bureau of Transportation Statistics.

SWA mission statement – on the SWA web site – it reads:

“To our employees: We are committed to provide our Employees a stable workenvironment with equal opportunity for learning and personal growth.Creativity and innovation are encouraged for improving the effectiveness of


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Southwest Airlines. Above all, Employees will be provided the same concern,respect, and caring attitude within the organization that they are expected toshare externally with every Southwest Customer.”

Zig Ziglar said that “people o�en say motivation does not last.Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it on daily

basis.”

Can we take care all these aspects ?


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How Do You Want to Be Recognized?Published on April 2, 2017 | Edit article View stats


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Everyone wants to be recognized some way.

Agile Development is often based on the effective communication, collaboration, andcoordination.

How can we increase engagement?

How can we increase self motivation?

How can we increase sharing - caring culture?

How can we encourage increased competence and growth?

Agile discourage to build Hero culture.

How do we build team culture and encourage individual to contribute their best anddoesn't recognize!

Eric Berne, the originator of Transactional Analysis, identified what he called 'sixhungers' that act as fundamental drivers that push us into action.

One of the hunger is Recognition hunger.When others recognize and acknowledge us,our sense of identity is reinforced as we know ourselves to exist as individuals and to


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have an accepted place in society.

For Agile team we need to build system where we continuously provide feedback andrecognize each individual as an when we find there is something can be appreciate.

Harvard Business School professor and international change expert John Kotter’s workspotlighting the need to “celebrate small wins” in any change effort.Without suchacknowledgement, teams often begin to lose direction, motivation, and enthusiasm.

what are the various Recolonization we can enable?

Examples of external rewards include pay, bonuses, plaques, notes, publicity innewspapers, commendations at a company party, certificates, gifts, trips, and dinners.Examples of internal rewards include satisfaction from accomplishing the team goaland a sense of well-being deriving from strong work relationships, creative challenges,increased responsibility, and learning opportunities.

What we can do to build such culture

a) Look for opportunity where you can appreciate others

b) Help individuals where he/she can perform better and You can appreciate


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c) Share the goal with the members and share the expectation, help them to setstretch goal

d) Create appreciation platform.Make it shorter and frequent

e) Crate many ways for appreciation, e.g Writing best code, share best stories,Helping others in crises situation, Best support team members, Creative teammembers etc

f) Celebrate the achievements

g) Make it Visual, in the board where all of the team members can see

h) Recognize best ideas , Best solutions, Best knowledge shared etc

Recognize the skills, knowledge, behaviors, and demeanor that support agileperformance to reinforce them at all levels of the organization.

A culture of recognition engages, energizes, and empowers employees.

Let us not recognize activities , recognizeoutcomes.


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How I have created habit of providingPositive Strokes to othersPublished on April 22, 2016 | Edit article View stats


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I had decided to make it a habit , to give positive stroke while discussing with otherswherever possible. I have followed a process to make it a habit.Let us find how?

Tom Bartow, considered by many to be the top business coach in the country,developed the following model of what habit formation looks like:

Phase 1: THE HONEYMOON


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This phase of habit formation is characterized by the feeling of “this is easy.”

The honeymoon phase is usually the result of something inspiring.

It will end in 2nd or 3rd week.Though I was consciously trying to maintain providepositive stroke, but I was forgetting this habit at initial days.


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Phase 2: THE FIGHT THRU

Inspiration fades and reality sets in.

A person finds himself struggling with the positive habit completion and old habitsseem to be right around the corner. The key to moving to the third phase of habitformation is to win 2 or 3 “fight thru’s.” This is critical. To win the fight thru, use thefollowing techniques:

1. RECOGNIZE: Recognition is essential for winning the fight thru. When you haveentered the fight through, simply say to yourself, “I have entered the fight thru, and Ineed to win a few to move past this.” Winning each fight thru will make it easier towin the next. Conversely, when you choose to lose a fight thru, you make it easier tolose the next one.

2. ASK 2 QUESTIONS: “How will I feel if I do this?” and “How will I feel if I don’tdo this?” Bring EMOTION into the equation. Let yourself feel the positive inwinning the fight thru and the negative in losing.

3. LIFE PROJECTION: If the above 2 techniques haven’t moved you to action, thenimagine in great detail how your life will be in 5 years if you do not begin makingchanges. Be totally honest with yourself, and allow yourself to feel what life will belike if the changes are not made.


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Phase 3: SECOND NATURE

Once in SECOND NATURE, the following are 3 common interruptions that will send aperson back to THE FIGHT THRU:

THE DISCOURAGEMENT MONSTER: An individual allows negative resultsdiscourage him or her into thinking, “This isn’t working, and there is nothing I cando.”

DISRUPTIONS: An individual experiences significant change to his or her currentpattern (e.g., vacations, holidays, illness, weekends).

SEDUCTION OF SUCCESS: An individual begins to focus on positive results andbegins to think, “I’m the special one. I have finally figured out how to have greatresults with not so great process.”

If a person experiences an interruption that sends him or her back to the fight thru,winning 2 or 3 fight thru’s will bring him or her back to second nature.


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How do you want to change your habit ?


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11/12/2017 Influence !! How to master this skill? | LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/influence-how-master-skill-chandan-lal-patary-pmp-csm-cssgb/?trk=mp-reader-card 1/6

Influence !! How to master this skill?Published on September 8, 2015 | Edit article View stats


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Influence , influence , influence to our boss, influence to our peers, influence to ourspouse, influence to our girlfriends/boy friends what not!

Most of the time we are influencing others all the time, knowing or unknowingly.

But how to do it effectively….? which can help us to build a relationship with all theconnected team members.


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Influence is not some magic power only a few people have. Every person on the planetexercises influence all the time.

Most of our energy are spends to influence. Influence is part of nearly everycommunication. It occurs in virtually every human interaction, every moment,everywhere. It is so fundamental to leadership that there could be no leadershipwithout it. If we have power we are influencing if we don’t have we areinfluencing max.Before anything else, getting ready is the secret tosuccess.

—HENRY FORD

We need to do good amount of homework, Preparation Is the Key to Influence.

We need to read others mind and help them with what they want to get the buy- in fromothers.

“Some people may be uncooperative because they are too busy elsewhere, and somebecause they are not really capable of helping. Others may well have goals, values, andbeliefs that are quite different and in conflict with the manager’s and may therefore haveno desire whatsoever to help or cooperate.”

So we need to know exactly what it is and act on it to help each other.

Interests, which play critical role, ask whether your request is aligned with the person’sinterests and values. If not, then the person’s interests would not be well served bygoing along with you and, in this situation, most people most of the time will notwillingly consent to be influenced.


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You may not be able to influence people the first time and in the first way you approachthem.

Influence is often a process rather than an event.

Sometimes, the influence technique we are using is not one they respond well to. If wekeep trying the same approach, we may create greater and greater resistance. If theinfluence technique we are using is not working, don't keep doing the same thing. Trysomething else.

Culture play significant role when we are influencing people.

What works in Mexico may not work as well in Malaysia, just as the openness andinformality typical in Australia, even in business settings, may not be as acceptable inGermany or the Netherlands (in fact, it could cause suspicion). Influence effectivenessdepends in part on the conventions, values, and beliefs prevalent in every culture.

People tend to assume that what they like, everyone else will like; that what works wellfor them will also work for others. This is the case because, by and large, most peoplebelieve that they are normal and that most other people share their view of reality.

If we are observant, if we listen to other people and observe their behavior andthe environments they create for themselves, we can discover how best toinfluence most people. It will build capability over period of time and soon it willbecome second nature. So consciously we need to make it a habit to build thoseobservation skill.


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Our business has to have mutual benefit to get the effective influence withothers.

Prepare our mind, know who is our audience, know their code, and structure awinning persuasive argument accordingly.

Let us know who, what, when, where, and why about our message and ouraudience.

Master Persuaders know that information and structure are the seeds forperfect persuasion.

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11/12/2017 Influence and Win the people ? | LinkedIn

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Influence and Win the people ?Published on December 25, 2015 |

How to Influence and win the people through certain mechanism.

Each Person has Unique Personality Traits.

Dr. William Marston wrote “The Emotions of Normal People” in 1928 after earninghis doctorate from Harvard University. Marston theorized that people are motivated by



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four intrinsic drives that direct behavioral patterns.

He used four descriptive characteristics for behavioral tendencies which are representedby four letters of the alphabet: D, I, S and C. Thus the concept of “DISC” wasintroduced.

The DiSC model provides a common language that people can use to better understandthemselves and to adapt their behaviors with others.

Developed in 1950, DISC is one of the world's most widely utilized and adapted modelsof behaviour.

DiSC profiles help us and our team:

Increase your self-knowledge: how you respond to conflict, what motivates you,what causes you stress and how you solve problems

Facilitate better teamwork and minimize team conflict

Develop stronger sales skills by identifying and responding to customer styles

Manage more effectively by understanding the dispositions and priorities ofemployees and team members

Become more self-knowledgeable, well-rounded and effective leaders

DiSC stand for


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D Dominance:

Person places emphasis on accomplishing results, the bottom line, confidence

Behaviors - Sees the big picture - Can be blunt - Accepts challenges - Gets straight to the point

I Influence

Person places emphasis on influencing or persuading others, openness, relationships

Behaviors - Shows enthusiasm - Is optimistic - Likes to collaborate - Dislikes being ignored

S Steadiness

Person places emphasis on cooperation, sincerity, dependability

Behaviors - Doesn't like to be rushed - Calm manner - Calm approach


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- Supportive actions - Humility

C Conscientiousness

Person places emphasis on quality and accuracy, expertise, competency

Behaviors - Enjoys independence - Objective reasoning - Wants the details - Fears being wrong


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whom you are interacting with ? D/I/S/C?

or apply Johari Window

A simple and useful tool for understanding and training selfawareness, personal development, improving communications, interpersonal relationships,group dynamics, team development and intergroup relationships.

Developed by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in the 1950's, calling it 'Johari' after combining their first names, Joe and Harry


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Johari window four regions

1. Open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena‘: what is known by theperson about him/herself and is also known by others -

2. Blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot‘: what is unknown by the person abouthim/herself but which others know

3. Hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'façade’: what the personknows about him/herself that others do not know


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4. Unknown area or unknown self: what is unknown by the person about him/herselfand is also unknown by others

Fig 1 is for a new team member, Fig 2 is for a established/old team member.

For Fig 1 : The open free is small because others know little about the new person �Similarly the blind area is small because others know little about the new person � Thehidden or avoided issues and feelings are a relatively large area � The unknown area isthe largest, which might be because the person is lacking in self-knowledge or belief

For Fig 2 : The open free region is large because others know a lot about the person thatthe person also knows.

Through disclosure and receiving feedback the open area has expanded and at the sametime reduced the sizes of the hidden, blind and unknown areas

let us do some home work before we start the assignment.


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Tom, Jerry and Spike also has become friend!!!

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Venkatesh RajamaniLearner & Enterprise Agile Coach |Freelance Agility Trainer Scrum Alliance -CTC®|Scrum.org - PSM III®

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11/12/2017 Killing Toxic Culture by Praise and Appreciation | LinkedIn

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Killing Toxic Culture by Praise andAppreciationPublished on September 5, 2015 |

In a study published in 2011 (Conboy et al., 2011) it was found that the increasing useof Agile approaches and growing pressure to adopt Agile Management, contribute to theneed for human resource departments and project managers to address peoplechallenges more.



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There is a need to identify the problems that the Agile transition may cause. A list of themost important people challenges in Agile was proposed as follows: developer fearcaused by transparency of skill deficiencies, the need for developers to be a‘master of all trades’, increased reliance on social skills, a lack of businessknowledge among developers, the need to understand and learn values andprinciples of Agile, not just the practices, lack of developer motivation to useAgile methods and the need for Agile compliant performance evaluation.

Shane Hastie (2004) discusses how Agile differs from traditional methods by puttingmuch more emphasis on team work, cooperation and self organization. One of thekey to the success of Agile is trust, which needs to be present both between the leaderand the team and among the team members themselves.

Peter Frost, author of Toxic Emotions at Work, notes that many organizations and theirleaders generate emotional pain, which is a form of toxicity. Some toxicity candemoralize employees, damage performances, and ultimately contaminate thehealth of the organization.Worker humiliation is a common toxin in theworkplace; lack of recognition for work well done is another.


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Agile work environment need more positive reinforcement to become successful.

Let us look into 2 principles , how praise and appreciation practices helps agile team tobecome successful.

In the early fifties, Don Clifton, was teaching psychology at the University of Nebraskawhen he noticed a major problem: The field of psychology was based almost entirelyon the study of what is wrong with people. He began to wonder if it would bemore important to study what is right with people.

The Theory of the Dipper and the Bucket:

Each of us has an invisible bucket. It is constantly emptied or filled, depending onwhat others say or do to us. When our bucket is full, we feel great. When it’s


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empty, we feel awful.Each of us also has an invisible dipper. When we use thatdipper to fill other people’s buckets – by saying or doing things to increase theirpositive emotions – we also fill our own bucket. But when we use that dipper todip from others’ buckets – by saying or doing things that decrease their positiveemotions – we diminish ourselves.

Like the cup that run over, a full bucket gives us a positive outlook and renewed energy.Every drop in that bucket makes us stronger and more optimistic.

But an empty bucket poisons our outlook, saps our energy, and undermines ourwill. That’s why every time someone dips from our bucket, it hurts us. So we face a


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choice every moment of every day. We can fill one another’s buckets, or we can dipfrom them. It’s an important choice – one that profoundly influences our relationships,productivity, health, and happiness.

Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions:

To increase positive emotions in our life and others’ lives, we must make a habit offilling buckets.

Strategy One – Prevent Bucket Dipping: Just as we have to start eliminating debtbefore we can truly save, we must start to eliminate bucket dipping before we can trulybegin to fill buckets. The next time you see bucket dipping in progress, do somethingabout it. Convince others that unwarranted negativity only makes matters worse.

Strategy Two – Shine a Light on What is Right: Each interaction gives us the chanceto shine a light on what’s right – and fill a bucket. Every time you fill a bucket, you’resetting something in motion.

Strategy Three – Make Best Friends:Whether you want to build many relationships orjust a few deep ones, your best approach is to fill a person’s bucket in your very firstinteraction. This is a powerful way to initiate new relationships – and to strengthen yourexisting relationships. In fact, your friendships are unlikely to survive, let alone thrive,without regular bucket filling.

Strategy Four – Give Unexpectedly:An unexpected gift doesn’t have to be tangibleeither. It can be a gift of trust or responsibility. Sharing something personal or entrustinga friend with a secret can fill his or her bucket.


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Strategy Five – Reverse the Golden Rule: In the case of bucket filling, “Do untoothers as you would have them do unto you’ doesn’t apply. Instead, we suggest a slightvariation: “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.” When it comes torobust and meaningful bucket filling, individualization is the key. So when you’rebucket filling, go ahead and reverse – or at least redefine – the Golden Rule.

Manage emotional bank account :

An emotional bank account is an account of trust instead of money. It's an accountbased on how safe you feel with another person. Covey identifies six ways to makedeposits (or reduce withdrawals):

When our trust level is high, because we’ve made lots of deposits, communication isalmost effortless. We can be our-self, and others understand and appreciate us. Then,when we make mistakes or offend someone unexpectedly, we draw on that reserve andthe relationship still maintains a solid level of trust.

Conversely, when we are discourteous, disrespect others, interrupt others, speaksarcastically or ignore others, our emotional bank account becomes overdrawn becausewe have jeopardized the trust level. When the trust level is low, we have to be verycareful of what we say; we tend to be more political.

Our most precious relationships (with our spouse, kids, friends and boss) requireconstant deposits, because those relationships continue to grow and change, and withthese changes come new expectations. If you have a teenager at home, you may makeseveral withdrawals in just one day! As your marriage evolves, your roles andresponsibilities may change, and your work and home lives may change over time


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because of career changes or kids moving out or back in. These relationships requireconstant investment.

Covey identifies six ways to make deposits (or reduce withdrawals):

1) Understanding the Individual. This means listening intently to what the otherperson is saying and empathizing with how they may feel. It’s important to care forothers and act with kindness toward them.

2) Keeping Commitments. How do you feel when someone arrives right on time whenyou have a meeting? How about when people simply do what they say they will do?You build up an emotional reserve by keeping your commitments.

3) Clarifying Expectations. We are not mind readers, and yet we consistently expectothers to know what we expect of them. Communicating our expectations can helpcreate a higher level of trust. When we ask for what we want, and we get it, we can thentrust a little more.

4) Attending to the Little Things. Don’t you find that the little things tend to becomethe BIG things when they do not receive our attention? Doing the little things is how wehonor and show respect for others. Small kindnesses, a smile, a little extra effort, a hug,doing something you didn’t “have” to: these are the things that build trust.

5) Showing Personal Integrity. Integrity is the moral floor upon which trustingrelationships are built. When we operate with sound moral character, it makes it so easyfor others to trust us.


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6) Apologizing When We Make a Withdrawal. We will make mistakes; it’s part oflife. But when you see you have violated a trust, sincerely apologizing is how we makea deposit to counteract the damage we have done.

All these principles helps to understand and practices the best way of building a positiveculture.A leaders should ensure these practices are follows and mentor and coach as anwhen there is a need.

All these factors will increase teaming effect in agile team and enhance the agile successrate.

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11/12/2017 Let's Go Fishing ! | LinkedIn

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Let's Go Fishing !Published on November 12, 2015 |

The key characters Mary Jane Ramirez, a manager from First Guarantee Financial, andLonnie, a fishmonger from Seattle’s world famous Pike Place Fish Market, teach ushow to transform a “toxic energy dump” into a workplace that adds value, productivityand profit to the company, creating happier workers, employers, and customers!

Imagine a workplace where everyone chooses to bring energy, passion, and a



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positive attitude to the job every day. Imagine an environment in which people aretruly connected to their work, to their colleagues, and to their customers. Who wouldn’twant to be in such a workplace? When you make room for play at work, great thingshappen. They discovered this at Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle.

Pike Place defined four things that they believe lead to a good work experience:

Play – Allow yourself to be silly. Bring some fun and games into the workplace.Have fun and create energy around at the office.

Choose your attitude – You decide for yourself what attitude you bring to your job.Each day you choose how you are going to act or which “side of the bed” you wakeup on. The choice is yours and, the way you act, affects others.

Be present – How can you make sure you are fully available and aware duringconversations with people? It is about create a greater sense of intimacy betweenindividuals. Be there, in both body and mind.

Make their day – How can you engage fellow employees, customers and makeeach other’s day? By giving your customers and colleagues good experiences.

The moral of the story: you can make any task rewarding and find purpose ineverything you do.

Reference : FISH! by Stephen Lundin

As consultant and author Dr. Charles Garfield drove over the San Francisco–OaklandBay Bridge on his way to work, he heard loud music coming from the tollbooth he was


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about to enter. He rolled down his window to pay his toll and found a dancing tollboothoperator. “I’m having a party,” the operator declared. Dr. Garfield drove away morejoyful than he did most mornings and realized he had just experienced a peak-performing tollbooth operator.

Intrigued, Dr. Garfield followed up and discovered that the young man’s purpose in lifewas to be a dancer. His coworkers described their booths as “vertical coffins,” but thisyoung man saw it as a stage for performing and his job as an opportunity to dance.

He developed a philosophy about his job, created an environment to support his vision,and happened to entertain those he served.

Research on peak performers confirms what you might suspect about people who attainhigh levels of success and sustain it over time.

Peak performers are not goal driven. Peak performers are values based and inspired by anoble purpose.

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11/12/2017 No More Excuses Please !! Dysfunctional Situation to Observe and Improve | LinkedIn

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No More Excuses Please !! DysfunctionalSituation to Observe and ImprovePublished on September 6, 2015 |

Excuse maker !! Are we aware about them?

Why we are always hearing excuses while working on certain tasks? I am not upto the mark…..



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I am not getting enough paid….. It is not my problem , it is somebody’s else problem …. It was working but looks like …… It was not communicated …. They are not supportive ….. etc etc etc we all hear about excused everywhere in the organization. It is a disease which is contagious and the medicine for this disease organization orleaders or manager has to find out.


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Symptoms of Dysfunctional Office Politics:

Are we aware about all these? The ten statements below concern ethics in interpersonal relationships on the job. Themore frequently any of these actions take place, the more likely the organization ororganizational unit is beset with dysfunctional office politics.

A conflict between two or more persons or groups was resolved on the basisof who held the most power rather than on what would have made sense andwould have worked better.

A person or group “got even” in some way with another person or group.

Information about what was going on at work was withheld from a personor group.

Information was reported about a person or group that was intentionallyexaggerated,misconstrued, and/or made mostly untrue by some other personor group.

A person or group was led to believe one thing, when the other was clearlytrue.

A person or group agreed with another person or group solely to “keep theboat from rocking.”

A person or group’s worthwhile efforts or initiatives were intentionallyundermined.


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A person reported confidential or unfavorable information about a person orgroup in order to gain a special advantage.

A person or group who looked at things differently and had different pointsof view was punished and/or silenced by another person or group.

An organizational decision was based on self-interest rather than on whatmade sense and would have worked better.

Team members owning Entrepreneur Mindset:

How can we build such team and team members ?

Below factors are mindsets of most of the entrepreneur which all the team membersshould acquire over a period of time:

Organization will be able to face any challenged when we have below mindset withmost of the employees. There is an urgent need of below mindset to the organization. In today’s world all the employee has to think like entrepreneur and leaders has to runhis/her own business.

Below are few characters which are very important in today’s world to survive and runthe organization. Below mindset changes are very crucial for a organization or team.

Desire and willingness to take initiative>: All employees should always ready tojump into the opportunity. They should be willing to step forward and buildbusinesses based on their creative ideas.


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Preference for moderate risk. The path is full with risk, willingness to takecalculate risk is effective. The goal may appear to be high—even impossible—fromothers’ perspective, but team members should typically have to thought through thesituation and believe that their goals are reasonable and attainable.

Confidence in their ability to succeed. Team members should have typically havean abundance of confidence in their ability to succeed, and they tend to beoptimistic about their chances for business success. Team members might face manybarriers when starting and running their assignments and a healthy dose of optimismcan be an important component in their ultimate success.

Self-reliance. Team members should not shy away from the responsibility formaking their businesses succeed.

Perseverance. Even when things don’t work out as they planned, team membersshould not give up. They simply keep trying. Real entrepreneurs follow the advicecontained in the Japanese proverb, “Fall seven times; stand up eight.”

Desire for immediate feedback. Team members should to know how they aredoing and are constantly looking for reinforcement. Tricia Fox, founder of Fox DaySchools, Inc., claims, “I like being independent and successful. Nothing gives youfeedback like your own business.”

High level of energy. Entrepreneurs are more energetic than the average person.That energy may be a critical factor given the incredible effort required to launch astart-up company. Long hours—often 60 to 80 hours a week—and hard work are therule rather than the exception. Building a successful business requires a great deal ofstamina.


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Competitiveness. Team members should tend to exhibit competitive behavior, oftenearly in life. They enjoy competitive games and sports and always want to keepscore!

Future orientation. Team members tend to dream big and then formulate plans totransform those dreams into reality. They have a well-defined sense of searching foropportunities. They look ahead and are less concerned with what they accomplishedyesterday than what they can do tomorrow. Ever vigilant for new businessopportunities, entrepreneurs observe the same events other people do, but they see something different.

Skill at organizing. Managers and leaders should know how to put the right peopleand resources together to accomplish a task. Effectively combining people and jobsenables entrepreneurs to bring their visions to reality.

Value of achievement over money. Achievement should be the primary motivatingforce behind team members; money is simply a way of “keeping score” ofaccomplishments—a symbol of achievement. “Money is not the driving motive ofmost entrepreneurs,” says Nick Grouf, founder of a high-tech company. “It’s just avery nice by-product of the process.”

High degree of commitment. Team members often should immerse themselvescompletely in their businesses. “The commitment team have to make is tremendous;team members usually should put everything on the line,” That commitment helpsovercome business-threatening mistakes, obstacles and pessimism from naysayers.

Tolerance for ambiguity. Team members should have a high tolerance forambiguous, ever-changing situations—the environment in which they most oftenoperate. This ability to handle uncertainty is critical, because managers and leaders


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+1

constantly make decisions using new, sometimes conflicting, information gleanedfrom a variety of unfamiliar sources.

Flexibility. Team members should have ability to adapt to the changing demands oftheir customers and their businesses. In this rapidly changing world economy,rigidity often leads to failure. As society, its people, and their tastes change, teammembers also must be willing to adapt their businesses to meet those changes.Successful teams are willing to allow their business models to evolve as market conditions warrant.

Tenacity. Obstacles, obstructions, and defeat typically do not dissuade teammembers from doggedly pursuing their visions. Successful team members have thewillpower to conquer the barriers that stands in the way of their success.

How can we as a leader detect such situation and improve ?

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11/12/2017 On the Path to Become a Charismatic Leader…. | LinkedIn

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/path-become-charismatic-leader-chandan-lal-patary-pmp-csm-cssgb/?trk=mp-reader-card 1/6

On the Path to Become a CharismaticLeader….Published on September 24, 2015 |

Charisma is a Greek word meaning “Divinely inspired gift.” In the study of leadership,charisma is a special quality of leaders whose purposes, powers, and extraordinarydetermination differentiate them from others.



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A case in point is Steve Jobs of Apple Inc. and Pixar, whose name surfaces frequently indiscussions of charisma. Several years ago he was nominated Time magazine person ofthe year by an entertainment executive, and given this accolade: “He is a truevisionary who continues to lead the technological revolution. Year after year, Applecreates must-have products that shape how we live our lives. Jobs and Apple continue to lead us into a wonderful newtechnological future.”

Charismatic leaders use impression management to deliberately cultivate a certainrelationship with group members. In other words, they take steps to create a favorable,successful impression, recognizing that the perceptions of constituents determinewhether they function as charismatic leaders.

AM I DOING THE SAME?

Jane A. Halpert performed a statistical analysis of the effects charismatic leaders haveon followers, and found that three dimensions are the most important. One keydimension is Referent power, the ability to influence others because of one’s desirabletraits and characteristics. If we like a leader, he or she might be able to exercise referentpower.

Another dimension is Expert power, the ability to influence others because of one’sspecialized knowledge, skills, or abilities. An important part of Steve Jobs’ charismastems from his expert powers reflected in imagining and designing electronic devices such as the iMac and iPod.

A third dimension of charismatic leadership is the ability to get group members excitedabout their work, or to experience Job involvement.


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Job involvement is a key component of job satisfaction, and one empirical study hasprovided evidence of the relationship between charismatic leadership and jobsatisfaction.

The outstanding characteristic of charismatic leaders is that they are charismatic, andtherefore they can attract, motivate, or lead others! They also have other distinguishingcharacteristics.


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Charismatic leaders are visionary because they offer an exciting image ofwhere the organization is headed and how to get there.

Charismatic leaders also have masterful communication skills. To inspirepeople, the charismatic leader uses colorful language and exciting metaphorsand analogies.

Another key characteristic is the ability to inspire trust.


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Charismatic leaders have an energy and action orientation. Likeentrepreneurs, most charismatic leaders are energetic and serve as role modelsforgetting things done on time. Emotional expressiveness and warmth are alsonotable.

A key characteristic of charismatic leaders is the ability to express feelingsopenly.

Another trait of charismatic leaders is that they romanticize Risk. They enjoyrisk so much that they feel empty in its absence.

In addition to treasuring risk, charismatic leaders use unconventionalstrategies to achieve success. The charismatic leader inspires others byformulating unusual strategies to achieve important goals.

A final strategy for becoming more charismatic leader is really an amalgam ofthe ideas already introduced: being dramatic and unique in significant, positiveways is a major contributor to charisma.

I am walking through this path……coming across many mentors who are having all theabove characteristics, I am admiring them and practicing all the skills to become acharismatic leader……are you?

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11/12/2017 Our Signature Strengths? | LinkedIn

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Our Signature Strengths?Published on October 25, 2015 |

Signature strengths are part of that special formula that determines the essence and direction of our Mission.

Signature strengths refer to stable characteristics and core values which have highpersonal value.



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Ground-breaking research by psychologists Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman hasidentified six core virtues, or strengths of character that, if systematicallydeveloped, enable us to live in a way that inspires us.

These core virtues are: 1. Wisdom. 2. Courage. 3. Love. 4. Justice. 5. Temperance. 6. Transcendence.

Although the six core virtues are not new knowledge, Chris Peterson and MartinSeligman have gone one step further by attempting to define and measure them. Theirresearch has identified 24 unique strengths, each one stemming from one of the six corevirtues. Check out the list below.

Which ones do you think are your signature strengths?

The 24 character strengths:

1. Wisdom and knowledge. Cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use ofknowledge:

(a) Creativity (originality, ingenuity): thinking of novel and productive ways toconceptualize and do things; includes artistic achievement but is not limited to it.


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(b) Curiosity (interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience): taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topicsfascinating; exploring and discovering.

(c) Open-mindedness (judgement, critical thinking): thinking things through andexamining them from all sides; not jumping to conclusions; being able to change one’smind in light of evidence; weighing all evidence fairly.

(d) Love of learning: mastering new skills, topics, and bodies of knowledge, whetheron one’s own or formally; obviously related to the strength of curiosity but goes beyondit to describe the tendency to add systematically to what one knows.

(e) Perspective (wisdom): being able to provide wise counsel to others; having ways oflooking at the world that make sense to oneself and to other people.

2. Courage. Emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to accomplish goals inthe face of opposition, external or internal:

(a) Bravery (valour): not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty or pain; speakingup for what is right even if there is opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular;includes physical bravery but is not limited to it.


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(b) Persistence (perseverance, industriousness): finishing what one starts; persisting ina course of action in spite of obstacles; ‘getting it out the door’; taking pleasure incompleting tasks.

(c) Integrity (authenticity, honesty): speaking the truth but more broadly presentingoneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretence; takingresponsibility for one’s feelings and actions.

(d) Vitality (zest, enthusiasm, vigour, energy): approaching life with excitement andenergy; not doing things halfway or half-heartedly; living life as an adventure; feelingalive and activated

3. Humanity. Interpersonal strengths that involve tending and befriending others:

(a) Love: valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing andcaring are reciprocated; being close to people.

(b) Kindness (generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love, ‘niceness’):doing favours and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them.

(c) Social intelligence (emotional intelligence, personal intelligence): being aware ofthe motives and feelings of other people and oneself; knowing what to do to fit intodifferent social situations; knowing what makes other people tick.


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4. Justice. Civic strengths that underlie healthy community life:

(a) Citizenship (social responsibility, loyalty, teamwork): working well as a member ofa group or team; being loyal to the group; doing one’s share.

(b) Fairness: treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice;not letting personal feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance.

(c) Leadership: encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things done andat the same time maintaining good relations within the group; organizing groupactivities and seeing that they happen.

5. Temperance. Strengths that protect against excess:

(a) Forgiveness and mercy: forgiving those who have done wrong; accepting theshortcomings of others; giving people a chance; not being vengeful.

(b) Humility/modesty: letting one’s accomplishments speak for themselves; notregarding oneself as more special than one is.

(c) Prudence: being careful about one’s choices; not taking undue risks; not saying ordoing things that might later be regretted.


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(d) Self-regulation (self-control): regulating what one feels and does; beingdisciplined; controlling one’s appetites and emotions.

6. Transcendence. Strengths that forge connections to the larger universe and provide meaning: (a) Appreciation of beauty and excellence (awe, wonder, elevation): noticing andappreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life,from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience. (b) Gratitude: being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking timeto express thanks. (c) Hope (optimism, future-mindedness, future orientation): expecting the best in thefuture and working to achieve it; believing that a good future is something that can bebrought about. (d) Humour (playfulness): liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people;seeing the light side; making (not necessarily telling) jokes. (e) Spirituality (religiousness, faith, purpose): having coherent beliefs about the higherpurpose and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the larger scheme;having beliefs about the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort.

When we are living life from our signature strengths, everything becomes moreexciting, more alive, and more real.

Learning becomes an adventure, obstacles that once overwhelmed we becomechallenges that arouse our curiosity, relationships become more rewarding andwork becomes something that enriches our life.


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11/12/2017 Persuasion: How to improve ? | LinkedIn

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Persuasion: How to improve ?Published on January 6, 2016 |

Managers must persuade peers in situations where lines of authority are unclear or do not exist.



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Robert B. Cialdini has synthesized knowledge from experimental and social psychologyabout methods for getting people to concede,comply, or change.

The six principles described next have accompanying tactics that can be used tosupplement the other approaches to persuasion.

1. Liking: People like those who like them:As a leader, you have a betterchance of persuading and influencing group members who like you. Emphasizingsimilarities between you and the other person and offering praise are the two mostreliable techniques for getting another person to like you. The leader shouldtherefore emphasize similarities, such as common interests with group members.Praising others is a powerful influence technique and can be used effectively evenwhen the leader finds something relatively small to compliment. Genuine praise isthe most effective.

2. Reciprocity: People repay in kind. Managers can often influence groupmembers to behave in a particular way by displaying the behavior first. Theleader might therefore serve as a model of trust, good ethics, or strong commitmentto company goals. In short, give what you want to receive.

3. Social proof: People follow the lead of similar others. Persuasion can have highimpact when it comes from peers. If you as the leader want to influence a group toconvert to a new procedure, such as virtually eliminating paper records in the office,


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ask a believer to speak up in a meeting or send his or her statement of support viaemail. (But do not send around paper documents.)

4. Consistency: People align with their clear commitments. People need to feelcommitted to what you want them to do. After people take a stand or go on record infavor of a position, they prefer to stay with that commitment. Suppose you are theteam leader and you want team members to become more active in the communityas a way of creating a favorable image for the fi rm. If the team members talk abouttheir plans to get involved and also put their plans in writing, they are more likely tofollow through. If the people involved read their action plans to each other, thecommitment will be even stronger.

5. Authority: People defer to experts. As explained in our study of expert powerand credibility, people really do defer to experts. The action plan here is to makeconstituents aware of your expertise to enhance the probability that your plan willpersuade them. A leader might mention certification in the technical area that is thesubject of influence. For example, a leader attempting to persuade team members touse statistical data to improve quality might mention that he or she is certified in thequality process Six Sigma (is a Six Sigma Black Belt).

6. Scarcity: People want more of what they can have less of. An application of thisprinciple is that the leader can persuade group members to act in a particulardirection if the members believe that the resource at issue is shrinking rapidly. Theymight be influenced to enroll in a course in outsourcing knowledge work, forexample, if they are told that the course may not be offered again for a long time.Another way to apply this principle is to persuade group members by using


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information not readily available to others. The leader might say, “I have somepreliminary sales data. If we can increase our sales by just 10 percent in the lastmonth of this quarter, we might be the highest performing unit in the company.”Chandan Lal Patary 71 0 0 1

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Rapport Building.....ExcellentCommunication skill for an CoachPublished on January 25, 2016 |

Chandan Lal PataryEnterprise Agile Coach at Société Générale306 articles

147 5 1 14

Rapport building to Improve communication :


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Rapport is the ability to relate to others in a way that creates a level of trust andunderstanding. It is the process of responsiveness at the unconscious level.

Successful interactions depend largely on our ability to establish and maintain rapport.Itallows us to connect with another person so they trust us more.

We are more likely to buy from, agree with, or support someone whom we can relate tothan someone we can’t.

Find similarities:

There are two ways to see other people. You can choose to emphasize the differences orthe similarities between you. You can always find things you have in common with

Messaging

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someone, even if it is just being human. Likewise, there will always be differencesbetween you and another. Even clones would have different experiences.

Matching Points:

Matching is something we all do naturally in some contexts. Watch what happens whensomeone talks to a small child. They might crouch down to the child’s height, talk moreslowly (or excitedly).

First you match them i.e. you subtly match their non-verbal behavior. This is oftencalled ‘Pacing’.

Pacing is the process of building similarities at an unconscious level. It is the process ofestablishing the ‘bridge’ of commonality between two or more people, and must bedone outside the conscious awareness of the other person. Pacing needs to be done withan intention of respect and honoring the other person. In order to pace another person,the behavior of matching and mirroring is used.

Romantic couples in restaurants often seem to be engaged in a dance, leaning andsmiling in mirror postures.

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Mirroring :

Mirroring is simply the process of mimicking subtle behaviours within whoever we arecommunicating. Before you go and start mimicking someone's every word, be awarethat mirroring must be subtle as to appear to be unconscious! This is the differencebetween a good conversation and a punch or slap.

Mirroring can be achieved by copying any of these things:

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Speech patterns

Body language

Vocabulary style or specific choices of words

Pace, tempo, pitch, tone, volume

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you will help them becomewhat they are capable of becoming.

Goethe

Listen carefully to the other person’s point of view and imagine working from hisposition before considering your own.

Develop a genuine interest about themto build rapport.

Leading is changing your behavior so the other person follows. Rapport needs to beestablished before leading will be effective. You cannot lead someone over a bridgebefore first building it.

When we are in rapport with someone the similarities between us are emphasized andthe differences are minimized or played down. This works because people like people

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who are like themselves.

‘Rapport means you demonstrate understanding of the other person’s model of theworld’. Frogs into Princes - Bandler and Grinder, pg. 80

I am sure during your coaching you have applied some of these steps consciously orunconsciously. We develop these skill for sure to get along with others.

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Self-Actualization Behaviors?Published on January 19, 2016 |

The term was originally introduced by the organismic theorist Kurt Goldstein for themotive to realize one's full potential.



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Expressing one's creativity, quest for spiritual enlightenment, pursuit of knowledge,and the desire to give to society are examples of self-actualization.

In Goldstein's view, it is the organism's master motive, the only real motive: "thetendency to actualize itself as fully as possible is the basic drive... the drive of self-actualization."

Carl Rogers similarly wrote of "the curative force in psychotherapy - man'stendency to actualize himself, to become his potentialities... to express and activateall the capacities of the organism."


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Abraham Maslow—the psychologist known for his hierarchy of needs theory—was eager to codify behaviors that were related to his concept of self-actualization.

Maslow arrived at self-actualization by observing two of his mentors who, he believed,were exceptional people. According to Maslow, they stood out from the run-of-the-millcrowd in that they were so wholly given over to a sense of mission and performed atsuch a high level that they appeared at a different stage of personal development than most people.

They were, in essence, the human development equivalent of Olympic athletes. Maslowset about the business of identifying more such people until he had amassed a coupledozen examples of self-actualizers. From these he attempted to identify behaviors thatwere commonly or consistently associated with self-actualization.

He arrived at the following nine criterion behaviors.

1. Experiences of flow states that represent total absorption and selflessness.

2. Make daily choices that move one toward growth and away from defensiveness.

3. Have knowledge of and the ability to listen to one’s true self.

4. Honesty.

5. A deep sense of understanding of one’s mission, destiny, and primaryrelationships.


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6. An ongoing dedication to personal growth even if this means difficult practicesand choices.

7. Setting up peak experiences, in part by understanding what to avoid in one’sweaknesses and lack of potential.

8. Engaging in self-reflection to better understand one’s preferences, identity,behavioral leanings, bad habits, and other aspects of the self.

9. “Resacralization.” That is, breathing a sense of wonder, sacredness, and trueunderstanding into one’s perception of the world, into one’s relationships, and intoone’s actions.

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Self-Disclosure an Excellent tool forIncreased engagement at WorkshopPublished on June 15, 2016 | Edit article View stats


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I have been taking workshop from long time and would like to share one commonproblem I have been facing.

How to increase engage participants?

Some time I feel, Most of the participants are attending as an observer, it was a mostlyone way traffic! I was wondering how I can engage and encourage more participation and make it twoway traffic. One of the techniques worked for me out of several is "Constructive Self-Disclosure".

It has improved the effectiveness of the workshop output.

Self-Disclosure: As a general rule, relationships grow stronger when people are willing toreveal more about themselves and their work experiences.

It is a surprising but true fact of life that two people can work together for many yearsand never really get to know each other.

If we encourages employees to hide their true feelings result is often a weakening of thecommunication process.


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Self-disclosure leads to a more open and supportive environment in the workplace.

Self-disclosure is the process of letting another person know what you think, feel, or want. It is one of the important ways you let yourself be known by others.Self-disclosure can improve interpersonal communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen interpersonal relationships.

Psychologists have long known that self-disclosure is one of thehallmarks of intimate relationships. Revealing your motives,

intentions, goals, values, and emotions, can increase liking andfeelings of intimacy.

Social penetration theory states that as we get to know someone, we engage in areciprocal process of self-disclosure that changes in breadth and depth and affects how arelationship develops. Depth refers to how personal or sensitive the information is, andbreadth refers to the range of topics discussed.

Self disclosure helps :


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Increased accuracy in communication. Self-disclosure often takes the guesswork outof the communication process. No one is a mind reader; if people conceal how theyreally feel, it is difficult for others to know how to respond to them appropriately.

People who are frustrated by a heavy workload and loss of balance in their life, butmask their true feelings, may never see the problem resolved.

The person who is in a position to solve this problem may be oblivious to what’simportant to you—unless you spell it out.

Stronger relationships. Another reward from self-disclosure is the strengthening ofinterpersonal relationships. When two people engage in an open, authentic dialogue,they often develop a high regard for each other’s views. Often they discover they share common interests and concerns, and these serve as a foundation for a deeper relationship.

Increased authenticity. “People trust you when you are genuine and authentic, not a replica of someone else.”

Jack Welch, a highly successful CEO at General Electric for many years, says the mostpowerful thing you can do to get ahead is to be real: “Think of authenticity as your


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foundation, your center, and don’t let any organization try to wring it out of you,subtly or otherwise.”

Those who self-disclose are generally more liked by others than those who do not revealanything at all about themselves.

Research has shown in laboratory experiments with undergraduate students, thatstrangers who engaged in reciprocal self-disclosure reported more positive evaluationsof their partner, than two people who did not divulge as much.

Go ahead and try this exercise.

Next time you are at work, at happy hour, or in class try engaging in discussion withsomeone for at least an hour and gradually progress from more superficial smalltalk to revealing personal and meaningful information.



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What DRIVES you ? What are your mainDrivers?Published on March 10, 2016 |

What is my behavior drivers?



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Sigmund Freud, an Austrian physician, developed psychoanalytic theory in theearly 1900s. According to Freud’s theory, conscious experience is only a small part ofour psychological makeup and experience. He argued that much of our behavior ismotivated by the unconscious , a part of the personality that contains thememories, knowledge, beliefs, feelings, urges, drives, and instincts of which theindividual is not aware.

______________________________________________________

psychoanalytic theory, Freud’s theory that unconscious forces actas determinants of personality.

__________________________________________________

Taibi Kahler PhD, a clinical psychologist who carried out research into the variousaspects of personality using some of the ideas derived from Transactional Analysis (TA)

Kahler (1975) identified five common drivers that motivate us, and which can be at theroot of dysfunctional behaviors.

These are commonly framed as the Transactional Analysis drivers, although they can beused stand-alone.

Here are some structured notes on each of these:

1. Be Perfect


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2. Be Strong

3. Hurry Up

4. Please Others

5. Try Hard

when we are under stress we may go too far in our efforts to obey the Driver, whichresults in being more stressed and not solving the problem (adapted from Kahler andHay by A Jesson 1993)

By identifying and overcoming unconscious Driver behaviour, we can significantlyimprove our well being as well as our effectiveness, creativity, communication andrelationships.

____________________________________________________

We each have a ‘default’ Driver (or possibly two or more) that weoperate from.

______________________________________________________

Each of the five Drivers have positive merits but when used when we are busy and tired,we may go into overdrive and find that they bring with them some negativebehaviours.


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Kahler went on to mention process scripts but did not at that time show the direct linksof each to a driver.

Capers provided the second part of the article, in which he described the OK Miniscriptand identified the allowers (or antitheses to the drivers):

According to Kahler, a Process Script is a false belief that starts from our Drivers.

Drivers are behaviors lasting from a split second to 7 seconds and they reinforce aposition of "I’m OK if …"

Distress triggers the scripts.

The scripts are reinforced by our sentence patterns (our thoughts), and replayedthroughout life in intensity as a function of distress.

Scripts are important because they can help you predict how you mightunknowinglysabotage your life. They can also be used to predict or shape yoursuccess. If you can catch the script, you can change it.

In fact, Dr. Terry McGuire used process scripts and Process Model Therapy to selectastronauts for NASA.

He then used it successfully for 18 more years to select, place, motivate, build teams,and predict success and failure of the astronauts.


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______________________________________________________

Be Perfect It’s OK to be yourself

Hurry Up It’s OK to take your time

Try Hard It’s OK to do it

Please me It’s OK to consider yourself and respect yourself

Be Strong It’s OK to be open (and to take care of your own needs)

______________________________________________________

BE STRONG Positive traits:-

Self-sufficient and helpful.

Calm under pressure.

Become energised when faced with problems that they have to cope with.

Great to have around you in a crises.


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Can make good diplomats.

Thinks logically when others around are panicking.

Tends to stay emotionally detached from crises situations, enabling them to problemsolve around difficult personal issues & deal effectively with angry people who maybe showing signs of distress.

Seen as consistent, reliable, strong sense of duty, capable of carrying out unpleasanttasks.

Negative traits:-

Finds it difficult to admit to any weakness in any area.

Could see failure to cope as weakness.

Rarely asks for help if they get ‘overloaded’ with work.

Tend to work longer hours than others or take work home.

In extreme circumstances, may hide work not done to give the indication that theyhave done it and are on top of the situation.

Deep down, they may feel unlovable and not ask for things for fear of refusal.

The Driver: Be strong! Typical statements:


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To a large extent, I manage everything on my own.

There are few people I really trust.

My motto is: “How I feel is nobody’s business!”

I really have to be sick to allow myself to stay home from work.

There is nothing that easily shocks me.

BE PERFECT Positive traits:-

Reputation for producing accurate reliable work.

Have high standards.

Task orientated.

Good at seeing the best way for achieving success or completion of a task.

They check facts carefully.

Prepare things thoroughly and pay attention to detail.

T heir motto could be: “if a jobs worth doing, its worth doing well”.

Tend to be well organised.


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Their projects/tasks seem to run smoothly and efficiently.

They tend to plan ahead so that they are not taken by surprise.

Negative traits:-

Cannot be relied on to produce work on time as they are too caught up withchecking and double checking.

Can spend agonizing time over using the right word, sentence etc.

Tend to produce many draft results from minor changes.

Worry about being seen as wrong so tend to be reluctant to actually produce a finaldraft and produces a final piece of work preventing opportunities for consultationwith others.

When recognizing errors in their work, may feel worthless or inadequate despiteothers thinking they have produced a good piece of work.

The Driver: Be perfect! Typical statements:

Whenever I do a job it is always thorough and flawless.

I dislike it when the work of others is sloppier than mine.

I am usually dissatisfied when I finish a job – I always see space for improvement.


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Being better than others is very important to me.

My facial expression is rather calm and concentrated.

TRY HARD Positive traits:

Tackles things enthusiastically and puts a lot of effort in.

Energy peaks when something new to do comes up.

Enthusiastic approach to problem solving.

Relishes the opportunity to take on new tasks.

Highly committed to the righting of wrongs, likes to side with the underdog.

Makes a good club secretary/events organizer.

Valued for their high motivation levels.

Usually pays attention to areas that others may overlook.

Negative traits:

Usually committed to trying rather than succeeding.

Initial interest can wear off before finishing the task to hand.


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May volunteer for new tasks even though they have not finished the last one.

Colleagues may resent the way they do the early exciting parts of a task or projectbut expect others to finish off with the boring and mundane parts.

The Driver: Try hard! Typical statements:

“You can make it if you really try hard enough and long enough!” is my motto.

One has to put one's nose to the grindstone to be successful.

When I start something, I also finish it.

At the end of the day, I often feel that I can’t carry out that which I took on.

Taking every day as it comes would be out of the question for me.

HURRY UP Positive traits:

Tend to get a lot done in a short space of time.

Their major strength is the amount that they can achieve.

Responds well to short deadlines.

Their energy peaks under pressure.


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Appear to enjoy having a lot to do.

Underlying motivation is to do things as quickly as possible.

Feels good when complete task in shortest possible time.

Negative traits:

Are more likely to delay starting a task until it becomes urgent.

In their haste, mistakes can and often appear.

Quality of work may be poor due to no time left to check it through

The Driver: Hurry up! Typical statements:

I am constantly in motion and busy.

Time is money!

I frequently interrupt others when they get verbose while explaining something.

I frequently deal with several things simultaneously.

As a member of a group I am usually the engine propelling everybody ahead.


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PLEASE ME/OTHERS Positive traits:

Good team members.

Enjoy being with other people, showing a genuine interest in them.

Their aim is to please without having to be asked.

Tends to work out what others want and then provides it.

Understanding and empathetic.

Intuitive.

Will notice body language and other non verbal signals that others will ignore/miss.

Encourages harmony in work place and teams.

Most likely to remember important dates.

Considerate of others feelings and will encourage quieter colleagues to joindiscussion/conversation etc.

Negative traits:


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When criticized by others, they are likely to take it personally and get upset evenwhen comments are intended to be constructive and positive.

The Driver: Please others! Typical statements:

I have a problem with saying no.

It is more important to me to be accepted by others than to fight for my interests.

I nod my head a lot.

Positive feedback from others is very important to me, lacking it I am dissatisfiedwith myself.

I always try to be as diplomatic as possible.


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Which is your predominant working style?

Is there more than one?

What improvement strategies could you personally employ to alleviate these understress?

Now I know my Drivers, what action I will take to Improve myself ? Give it a thought.

Apply it at home !

Reference : The Process Therapy Model: The Six Personality Types with Adaptations.


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What's in it for me? Why should I?Published on May 19, 2017 | Edit article View stats


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Every time I run any initiative e.g running Community of Practice (CoP) or anyvoluntary contribution I find this challenge to get the people for contribution.

Every one underlying asking this question WIFM? What's in it for me? Why should I?

I try to put into three BIG basket

You will get

Learning, Exposure and Experience

Self Satisfaction

Social Recognition, Personal Branding

What are the some tips which worked for me with the people I am working with to buildsuch community.

1) Public goals : We set public goals for all our decisions.In a process team membersare accountable publicly and so they involve more to achieve the target

2) We display our outcome in BIG Visual bang! we shout what we have achieved , Itsatisfies all involved party in the ecosystem


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3) We set BIG purpose in each of the event we drive. We inspire in daily stand up whatachievement each of the team members will get by doing this voluntary work.

4) Building NO "Fear from Failure" culture. We encourage failure, we see manyparticipation and many volunteers. No body to blame us.

5) Inspire team members what impact they making through various voluntary services.

6) Recognize in public , and set small target , do it more( Small, Consistent, reward).

7) Build team with lot of energetic team members, who never run low on energy, theynever with small hurdles

8) We as a team , help each other to make us perfect with lot of review, training.Goodfeedback system to improve.

9) We make Physical board to demonstrate our work in progress items. Built intransparency

10) We create BUZZ about our happening, upcoming and alert all to be aware aboutour next steps. We build curiosity about our community to increase participation.


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11) We create fun filled ambient , where team members comes to learn and have fun

12)We share , care and we build a family!

We believe if we inject sense of achievement,responsibility, job satisfaction, purpose,

involvement, empowerment and ownership.

Else we will have challenge to sustain voluntary community practices to run for longrun.

Give more public award!


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BTW community activities can not be forced !


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11/12/2017 Where is the Motivation to Work? How to Increase Motivation? | LinkedIn

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Where is the Motivation to Work? How toIncrease Motivation?Published on October 22, 2015 |

Feedback influences performance through motivation and that one important issueis how differences in culture are reflected in motivation.

Let us look into this Motivational Theory.



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The theory to be used is one recently proposed by Pritchard and Ramstad (2003) andsummarized in Pritchard and Payne (2003).

This theory is based on the motivational components of the theory proposed by Nayloret al. (1980), also known as NPI theory, and is an example of an expectancy theory.

Expectancy theories posit that people are motivated by the anticipation orexpectancy of how their actions will lead to future positive ornegative affect (e.g., Campbell & Pritchard, 1976; Heckhausen, 1991; Vroom,1964).

The first row of the figure reflects an assumption of the theory that at any given time,people have a certain amount of energy. This energy is known as the Energy Pool,and varies across people and within people over time.


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People also have Needs, the satisfaction of which creates positive affect. To satisfythese needs, an individual draws from his or her energy pool. This is shown by thearrow from Energy Pool to Needs. This arrow is not meant to suggest that the EnergyPool somehow causes Needs, rather that energy is used to satisfy needs.

As the second row of the figure indicates, motivation is the process of allocating thisenergy to meet one’s needs. The motivation process is the mechanism for using energyto meet needs.

The third row shows the components of this motivation process. The first box on the leftindicates that people allocate energy to Actions, or behaviors.

A police officer’s actions, for example,include patrolling neighborhoods, writing traffictickets, filing reports,and meeting with members of the community. When an officerapplies energy toward these actions, Results are generally produced. For example, anofficer may stop a driver (an action) he or she believes is under the influence of alcohol.This stop may lead to an arrest (a result).

When results are observed by different individuals, Evaluations are made. Evaluationsoccur when one or more evaluators, such as supervisors, peers, subordinates, and/orthe self, place the measured result on an evaluative continuum ranging from goodto bad. The officer’s arrest report (a result) may be evaluated by the officer him- orherself, as well as by superiors or staff in the district attorney’s office.

After these evaluations are made, Outcomes occur that can be self administered orexternally administered. Outcomes can be intrinsic, such as feelings ofaccomplishment, or can be extrinsic, such as forms of recognition or pay raises.


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The officer may feel a sense of pride in making the roads safer and for completing anerror-free report (a self-administered outcome), or he or she may receive praise fromsuperiors for doing a good job (an externally administered outcome).

Outcomes get their motivating power because of their ties to Need Satisfaction. Whenneeds are satisfied, positive affect occurs; when needs are not satisfied, negative affectoccurs.

It is the anticipation of this need satisfaction that influences the motivational process.

This anticipated satisfaction may or may not match the actual satisfaction that occurswhen the outcome is actually received.

The different components of the theory (actions, results, evaluations, outcomes,and need satisfaction) together determine motivational force.

Motivational force is the degree to which a person believes that changes in energydevoted to a given action will result in changes in need satisfaction.

Actions with high motivational force are predicted to have large amounts of energyallocated to them.

Little or no energy will be allocated to actions with low motivational force.

The Pritchard and Ramstad theory is about relationships.

The overall theory focuses on the relationships between amount of energy allocatedto various acts and the expected levels of need satisfaction


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WHO I wanted to be ? I want to CHANGEmyself?Published on January 18, 2016 |

Richard Boyatzis, Professor of Organizational Behavior at Case Western Reserve



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University, has proposed: Intentional Change Theory.

Intentional Change Theory was originally called Self-Directed Learning and itattempts to describe the essential ‘components and processes of desirable,sustainable change in one’s behavior, thoughts, feelings and perceptions’.

Bayatzis (2006) talks about desired sustainable changes being ‘discontinuous’.

More profound changes are often experienced as a sudden revelation or change ofperspective which couldn’t have been predicted beforehand.

However, he makes the point that increased self-awareness or mindfulness may result inthe experience of smoother transitions because you are more likely to be aware of thechange as it emerges.

He also points out that significant change is non-linear. In some circumstances a smallinput can produce a disproportionately large change, at a different time it may produceno change at all.

Five discoveries:

Intentional change involves a sequence of five discontinuities or discoveries:

Discovering the ideal self and personal vision. This is an image of the person (ororganisation) that you want to be in the future — a vision that is formed from yourvalues and philosophy and which stimulates positive emotions. This vision is


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sustained by ‘hope’ which is influenced by your beliefs in your ability to bringabout this future (self-efficacy and optimism). The final component is the person’s‘core identity’ — relatively unchanging personal attributes and strengths thatpresent an element of continuity between your current self and your future self.

Discovering the real self and comparing it to the ideal self. Building a completeand accurate picture of yourself requires reflection and feedback from others inorder to recognise the various ways in which your identity manifests itself indifferent situations. Part of this reflection on your real self is to identify gapsbetween it and your ideal self that mark out areas for change. However, anotherimportant result is to recognise positive strengths that need to be maintained and canbe built on in developing the ideal self.

Discovering mindfulness through a learning agenda. A personal learning agendais about more than just having a plan of how to change; it about an emotionalcommitment to move from your current situation. It involves becoming more awareof both the positive (hope, joy, enthusiasm, comfort, etc.) and the negativemotivators (fear, uncertainty, dissatisfaction, etc.) that might entice you to movetowards the goal or might put you off changing.

Discovering metamorphosis through experiment and practice. Any movementfrom a current to a future self will involve changes of behaviour and thoughtpatterns. These are not things that will happen comfortably overnight. You need totry out new behaviours in a spirit of experimentation and learning. Not only that,you may need to practise learning new things from your existing activities andenvironments as a way of changing your perspective. You might need to seek out


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safe environments in which you can get away with a certain amount of trial anderror.

Discovering relationships that enable learning. An important element insustainable change is finding environments that support the change rather thanmaking it more difficult. Relationships are important to all of the previous stages ofdiscovery. Other people can give us inspiration for what our ideal selves might be.They can provide honest and timely feedback that helps us to see ourselves moreaccurately. They can provide emotional motivation and support in planning forchange. And they can help us to try out new ways of being and thinking. Of course,they could equally get in the way of these things.


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According to Bayatzis:

People change. People change in desired ways but not without intentional efforts. Teams, organizations, communities, and even countries can change in desired ways. But again, without intentional efforts, the changes are slow, result inworse unintentional consequences to the original desire, and arouse a sharedhopelessness about the future and diminish the human spirit.


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Through intentional change theory, we can understand how individuals, groups, organizations, and whole communities can bring about desired changes in a sustainableway.

But to understand intentional change, we must use a variety of concepts fromcomplexity theory.

It is through these at times elusive but enlightening concepts that we can guide andreignite individual and collective will to make the world a better place.

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Larry Lawhead, PMP, CSMScrum Master / Agile Team Coach :: AT&T Entertianment Group

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2y

Great post -- thank you.

Chandan Lal Patary


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Why My Excellent Player FAIL Miserablyin the Group?Published on June 26, 2016 | Edit article View stats


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A system is a set of interacting or interdependent component parts forming acomplex/intricate whole.

Every system is delineated by its spatial and temporal boundaries, surrounded andinfluenced by its environment, described by its structure and purpose and expressed inits functioning.

The term system may also refer to a set of rules that governs structure or behavior.

Difficult to assess why one player behave in certain scenario where he was a excellentperson in most of the time.

Alternatively, and usually in the context of complex social systems, the term is used todescribe the set of rules that govern structure or behavior.


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It is impossible to predict the behavior of the whole system with only knowledge about the individual units, because we also need to understand the interactions, or the relationships, between the units.

In other words, the system is something altogether different from the sum of theparts.

With any system, the whole is different from the sum of the individual parts.

By shifting focus from the parts to the whole, we can better grasp the connectionsbetween the different elements.

For example, one cannot predict the quality of a couple based on knowledge about the individual partners from before they were married. Eccentric individualscan together form a well-functioning couple.

One of my roommate who is considered individually excellent personality, iscurrently a totally dysfunctional couple. The behavior of couples and individuals isgoverned by different rules.


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Different Levels need different rules.

Though we may hire the best individual team members but not necessarily as awhole team they will be able to operate excellent manner.

The other side of “the whole is different from the sum of the parts” is that “the part derives properties from the whole that it does not have itself in any othercontext"

The only way to discover the qualities of the whole system as well as some of themost important extrinsic properties of the parts is by studying it as a whole, takinginto account the relationships between the interacting units.


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Because in healthy, flexible teams, the relationships and roles of teammembers change according to the subject being discussed, one needs to observethe executive team while it is doing its job as an executive team, not while involvedin outward-bound or leisure activities.

When people come together for any purpose for a period of time, a relationship boundary develops around them which has a unifying force and makesthose within it act to some degree as a unit, a whole.

As people are drawn to form relationships or join a group, they find they have tocommunicate, collaborate and share goals and must move, interact and change togetherbecause their outcomes become connected and they become dependent on each other.

One way to see this is to pay attention to how group behavior is often quitedifferent from individual behavior.


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Groups of nice children can become cruel to a weaker child or to an animal.

A group of physically weak students can practice a sport, empower one another andbecome a winning team.

Alcoholics and addicts can find the strength to change in a support group whenalone they are unable to give up their addictions.


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Individually one may be excellent as a performer but we need to find how they performwith others as a group player, then we can tag them as successful.

One may be a very good striker but if he is not able to get the pass from the other playerteam will not win.Good striker alone can not win the match except fewexceptional penalty kick!

It is not simple cause and effect relation when individual behave differently when theyare with team vs when they perform alone, we have to think them as a system.


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Go beyond the Frame , enlarge the Frame,We will discover different perspective.

There should not be any blame game when we find good player is not up to theexpectation, there could be multiple changes with many emergent feedback whichinfluences individual to perform differently.

Think big, Think systemic to understand Whole Part relationship.


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WHY we need to know the "GROUNDRULES" of others?Published on April 5, 2017 | Edit article View stats


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Rules shape our behavior.

For example, we learn that “Big boys don’t cry” and “You don’t scratch Nose in public.

From our childhood these rules has been imposed on us by our parents, Teachers,Elders.

Many of these rules are also transmitted and reinforced by organizations andinstitutions.

As we are growing old, these rules are part of our life.

Some of these rules were really building our character, personalities. It is working forus, Guiding us.

Some of these rules we have questioned and corrected on the way.Some of these ruleswe have redefined for ourselves. And all these rules are working for us.

By this time, we have learned how to act according to those rules. Generally, no onearound us needs to remind us of the rules as our parents, teachers, and friends did whenwe were little.


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THESE RULES HAVE BECOME OUR SECOND NATURE. WE ARE IN AUTOPILOT MODE!

We started sharing these rules with other as these rules are working for us.

We expect that others also should follow these same rule!we implicitly learn that therules with which we were raised and that are true for us must also be true for others whoshare the same cultural heritage!

WE USE THE SAME "GROUND RULES"!!!!

When we come across some other people who has different ground rules , we becomeupset, negative emotions build up,frustrated or annoyed.If they are culturally differentthan these ground rules are much more different !

Our emotional reactions often lead us to make judgments about others.We say some oneGOOD when they align with our ground rules and we say some one BAD when theyupset us with their ground rules and belief systems.

Ground rules play critical role to connecting effectively with others which we makethem align or enemy of us.These rules of perceiving and interpreting form the basis of


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our own “filters” that we use in seeing the world.More strong the rules are more strongis the filter!

These rules are inseparable and part of our life, belief , filters.

What do we do now ?

a) Align with other ground rules and understand their rules.Understand their filtersand appreciate

b) Your rules is not ultimate it may need some changes based on the circumstances


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c) Believe that our way of perceiving and interpreting the world is not the only wayof perceiving and interpreting.

d) Recognize the existence of other possible interpretations

e) Accept the possibility of me being wrong, being adaptive, and flexible

f) MY WAY OR HIGHWAY will not always work in globalized world. Wear theirshoe and understand through their glasses.

g) Understand the emotional changes and manage efficiently

h) Crash course on others culture, go beyond define boundaries.

i) THIS PROCESS IS A JOURNEY OF CONTINUOUS LEARNING

What do you think? are you flexible enough to understand and discover others? I amsure without that coaching will be tough.



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