the illustrated fml christmas book

8/8/2019 The Illustrated FML Christmas Book

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Ho, ho, ho.

The Illustrated FMLChristmas Book

2010



This is a gift to you.

Once upon a time, on a website called fmylife.com, some of theInternet’s most talented illustrators created their version of an FMLstory, inspired by life’s everyday mishaps. Fmylife.com is a collection

of everyday anecdotes and stories likely to happen to anyone and everyone, sentexclusively by Internet users. This is a space where you can let it all out andunwind by sharing the little things that screw with your day, and maybe realize

that you are not alone in experiencing day-to-day crap.It’s true, it’s funny, except when it happens to you.

Enjoy!



Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so theystay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she’s brought in threesquirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

Simon Tofieldhttp://www.simonscat.com/

http://www.simonscat.com/

http://www.simonscat.com/



Today, we wrote valentine’s day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about howI was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to theclass, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

Jennifer Shimanhttp://www.angryalien.com/

http://www.angryalien.com/

http://www.angryalien.com/



Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caughtstealing candy. FML

Evan Diazhttp://PajamaForest.com/

http://pajamaforest.com/

http://pajamaforest.com/



Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than hisand that at least mine wasn’t smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish thatyour vag was the same way. FML

Kris Wilson http://www.explosm.net/

http://www.explosm.net/

http://www.explosm.net/



Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It waschocolate. FML

Michelle Chenhttp://michichen.tumblr.com/

http://michichen.tumblr.com/

http://michichen.tumblr.com/



Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able

to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

Paul Westoverhttp://www.woodyafterhours.com/

Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the otherattendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replacedthe contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML

Joe Combshttp://www.businesscasualcomic.com/

http://www.woodyafterhours.com/

http://www.businesscasualcomic.com/

http://www.businesscasualcomic.com/

http://www.woodyafterhours.com/



Today, it’s my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previouslystray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face whichneeded 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

Marie Levesquehttp://www.leszillusdemissbean.com/

http://www.leszillusdemissbean.com/

http://www.leszillusdemissbean.com/



Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in theface when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

Eric Cobainhttp://www.cobainiac.com/

http://www.cobainiac.com/

http://www.cobainiac.com/



Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in thenuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

Philippa Rice

http://mycardboardlife.com/





Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It’s a 4-bedroom house and hehas three kids so it’s perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroomis his, the second is my older brother’s, the third is my younger sister’s, and the fourth isan office. I have no room. FML

Becky Dreistadthttp://www.tinykittenteeth.com/

http://www.tinykittenteeth.com/

http://www.tinykittenteeth.com/



Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a

car. FML

Chris Hallbeckhttp://www.thebookofbiff.com/

http://www.thebookofbiff.com/

http://www.thebookofbiff.com/



Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess Ishould have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavorsof condoms in them made a good impression. FML

Carter Fort & Paul Luccihttp://www.crookedgremlins.com/

http://www.crookedgremlins.com/

http://www.crookedgremlins.com/



Today, someone in my class wrote ‘erase me if you can’ at the very top of the board, as I amalways tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard Itried, I couldn’t reach it. I’m the teacher. FML

Erin Huntinghttp://erinhunting.com/

http://erinhunting.com/

http://erinhunting.com/



Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out thewindow. FML

Tony Pirohttp://www.calamitiesofnature.com/

http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/

http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/



Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was goingto propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear “we should breakup” instead. FML

Sara Bloemhttp://risd.digication.com/sarabloem/Home//

http://risd.digication.com/sarabloem/Home//

http://risd.digication.com/sarabloem/Home//



Today, I learned when you’re babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush andthen the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late. FML

Barbara Tarrhttp://www.babsbabsbabs.com/

http://www.babsbabsbabs.com/

http://www.babsbabsbabs.com/



Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and aSanta hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a three-

some with us. FML

Iris Yanhttp://www.pigsinmaputo.blogspot.com/

http://www.pigsinmaputo.blogspot.com/

http://www.pigsinmaputo.blogspot.com/



Today, while I was at my girlfriend’s parents’ house for dinner, and I thought no one

was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a littlebrother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, “Booger monster, Boogermonster!” FML

Andrew Bargeronhttp://www.gimetzco.com/

http://www.gimetzco.com/

http://www.gimetzco.com/



Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dialthe number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answeredwhen I called. It wasn’t the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the manthat stole my phone. FML

Dan Longhttp://eqcomics.com/

http://eqcomics.com/

http://eqcomics.com/



Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up.Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, “I’m a koala and you’re my eucalyptustree!” He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat myhair. FML

Justin Whitehttp://www.jublin.com/

http://www.jublin.com/

http://www.jublin.com/



Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortu-nately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne.FML

Lois van Baarlehttp://loish.net/

http://loish.net/

http://loish.net/



Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a ‘free hugs’ sign. FML

Matthew Inmanhttp://theoatmeal.com/

http://theoatmeal.com/

http://theoatmeal.com/



Today, I texted my boyfriend saying “Hi.” His response: “I got your best friendpregnant”. FML

Mike Jacobsenhttp://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/

http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/

http://seemikedraw.wordpress.com/



Today, I went to my Homecoming dance. I had a great time until some fat girl kept tryingto dance with my date, even though he politely asked her to stop. I decided to intervene. Ifound myself pinned to the floor by a fat girl crushing on my date, who was cheering heron as she tackled me. FML

Mukpuddy Animationhttp://www.mukpuddy.blogspot.com/

http://www.mukpuddy.blogspot.com/

http://www.mukpuddy.blogspot.com/



Today, my insanely jealous wife flipped out and made me promise never to hug any of my female friends or go to lunch with them, ever. It’s “cheating.” FML

Viet-My Buihttp://vm-bui.com/

http://vm-bui.com/

http://vm-bui.com/

http://vm-bui.com/



Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old’s birthday party. After my sceneat the ball, the narrator asked the kids, “Was the Prince handsome?” and they all repliedwith a chorus of “Nooooo!” FML

Ronniehttp://dannyphantomfreek.deviantart.com/

http://dannyphantomfreek.deviantart.com/

http://dannyphantomfreek.deviantart.com/



The End(Want more? Go to fmylife.com )

http://www.fmylife.com/

http://www.fmylife.com/

the illustrated fml christmas book

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