VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHER EDUCATION

LU NG TH THÚY

THE QUALITY OF LITERARY ENGLISH – VIETNAMESE TRANSLATIONS TODAY

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ARTS

Hanoi, May - 2010

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES

FACULTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHER EDUCATION

LU NG TH THÚY

THE QUALITY OF LITERARY ENGLISH – VIETNAMESE TRANSLATIONS TODAY

SUPERVISOR: TR N TH THANH NHÃ, MA

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ARTS

Hanoi, May – 2010

I hereby state that I: Luong Thi Thuy, a student of class 06.1.E18,

being a candidate for the degree of Bachelor of Arts (TEFL) accept

the requirements of the University relating to the retention and use of

Bachelor’s Graduation Paper deposited in the library.

In terms of these conditions, I agree that the origin of my paper

deposited in the library should be accessible for the purposes of

study and research, in accordance with the normal conditions

established by the librarian for the care, loan or reproduction of the

paper.

Signature

Student Supervisor

Luong Thi Thuy Ms. Tran Thi Thanh Nha, MA

Date: 3rd May, 2010

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and foremost, I wish to express my deepest gratitude to

my supervisor, Tran Thi Thanh Nha, MA, who gave me great

supports, guidance, feedback as well as valuable advice in

preparation of this Graduation Thesis. The success of my paper

would be almost impossible without her great help and idea.

My sincere thanks also go to all lecturers in Vietnam National

University Hanoi, University of Languages and International

Studies, especially lectures in Translating and Interpreting Division

for their lectures, instructions and their useful suggestions that have

helped me so much.

Last but not least, I would like to express my warmest thanks

to my dear family, especially my younger brother, Luong Quoc Dat

and my friends who were beside me all the time, encouraged and

helped me to reach my aim.

i

ABSTRACT

Nowadays, the number of readers who spend time on literary

works is growing increasingly, especially foreign literary works

translated into Vietnamese, however, English – Vietnamese

translations of many literary works have not been paid much attention.

The purpose of this thesis has primarily been to define and describe

common types of errors in literary English – Vietnamese translations

today and the most dominant errors that the translators made based on

various theories of translation quality assessment and different

frameworks of error classification. Each error is presented with typical

examples taken out from published literary works read by many

people. Given the resulting of the analysis, the thesis will be able to

figure out the most popular errors exposed in the translations. The

thesis then provides some implications to address these errors or, at

least, minimize these common mistakes.

i

TABLE OF CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……………………………………….i

ABSTRACT ……………………………………………………....ii

TABLE OF CONTENTS………………………………………….iii

LIST OF TABLES…………………………………………………v

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS……………………………………...vi

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

1.1. Rationale……………………………………………………....1

1.2. Aims of the study………………………………………….2

1.3. Scope of the study…………………………………………3

1.4. Methodology……………………………………………….3

1.5. Organization of the study…………………………………..5

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1. Introduction……………………………………………………6

2.2. Literary translation…………………………………………….6

2.2.1. Definition of translation……………………………………6

2.2.2. Definition of literary translation…………………................8

2.3. Translation Quality…………………………………………….8

2.3.1. Definition of the quality and translation quality…………....8

2.3.2. Role of translation quality assessment…………………….10

2.3.3. Criteria for translation quality assessment………………...10

2.3.4. Approaches to assess the quality of translations…………..11

iii

2.4. Translation Errors…………………………………………….13

2.4.1. Definition…………………………………………………13

2.4.2. Categories of errors……………………………………….13

CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY

3.1. Sampling……………………………………………………...16

3.2. Data analysis process…………………………………………16

CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

4.1. Linguistic errors………………………………………………18

4.1.1 Lexical errors………………………………………………18

4.1.2. Idioms……………………………………………………...26

4.2. Translational errors……………………………………………28

4.2.1. Omission…………………………………………………...29

4.2.2. Addition……………………………………………………32

4.2.3. Equivalence………………………………………………..34

4.2.4. Accuracy…………………………………………………...35

4.2.5. Naturalness………………………………………………...40

4.3. Summary and Implications……………………………………46

CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSIONS

5.1. Overview and summary of the thesis…………………………49

5.2. Strengths and weaknesses of the thesis……………………….50

5.3. Suggestions for further research and final comments………...51

REFERENCES ……………………………………………………52 iv

LIST OF TABLES

Table Page

1 : Some vocabulary errors in the translation of

“The Da Vinci Code” (Dan Brown)………………………………25

2 : Some omission errors in the translation of “Twilight”

(Ch ng v ng) – Stephenie Meyer………………………………….29

3 : Omission errors …………………………………………...32

4 : Addition Errors…………………………………………….33

5 : Some accuracy errors in the translation of

“The Da Vinci Code” (Dan Brown)……………………………….38

6 : Some naturalness errors in the translation of

“Twilight” (Stephenie Meyer)…………………………………….42

7 : Some naturalness errors in the translation of

the “Da Vinci Code” (Dan Brown)………………………………46

V

LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS

OALD: Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary

SL: Source Language

ST: Source Text

TL: Target Language

TQA: Translation Quality Assessment

TT: Target Text

vi

1

CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

1.1. Rationale:

The practice of translation has appeared for many years and ever since

has existed until present days when more and more texts, documents and

news needed translating. It is generally believed that translation plays an

important role in the globalization of human knowledge. Thanks to

translations, people’s international understanding, social cultural awareness

and so much more will be improved. At present, the practice of translation

has become essential to the development of the society and the world

culture.

Vietnam is in the process of integration into the world; therefore, the

practice of translation and the role of Vietnamese translators have become

more important than ever before. One of translation fields attracting so many

people is literary translation. Literary translations with high quality will help

to connect Vietnamese Literature with other countries in the world.

However, what is the situation of literary translation practice and how

is the quality of literary English – Vietnamese Translations today? The fact

has shown that the number of quality translations is still limited and the

practice of literary translation has long been criticized for being

unsatisfactory and even incorrect. The Italians have a saying that goes,

“traduttore, tradittore” (translators, traitot). This saying seems to evoke an

immoderate distaste for translators. Certainly, almost no translation is

perfect even when it can transfer the general message. Literary English –

2

Vietnamese Translations in Vietnam today still have many problems which

have become the concern and worry of many people and also the country.

Therefore, helping people see the situation of the quality of literary

translations today and improve the practice of translation has been a great

desire of generations of translators in Vietnam. There have been several

senior translators trying to figure out and resolve problems existing in

literary English – Vietnamese translations. That is also the attempt that this

thesis conducting study on “the quality of literary English - Vietnamese

translations today” tries to accomplish.

1.2. Aims and research questions:

The rendering of written texts from one language into another requires

high quality: accuracy, smoothness, naturalness, etc. Translating texts allows

considerable time for translators to find the best substitutions. Therefore,

paying attention carefully to the written texts from one language into another

before rendering is very necessary.

In the first place, the thesis aims at giving a theoretical background on

the quality of translation. Furthermore, it also tries to study the current

situation of the quality of literary English – Vietnamese translations today.

The study focuses on analyzing and assessing in details some literary

English –Vietnamese translations to give students of English who would be

translators and translators an overview of the kinds of errors or problems

met frequently in literary English Vietnamese translations that affect the

quality of literary translations so that they can understand and avoid these

mistakes.

The thesis will aim at answering the following questions:

3

1. What are frequently seen types of errors in literary English -

Vietnamese translations today?

2. What are the most popular mistakes (if traceable) in literary

English-Vietnamese translations today?

1.3. Scope of the study:

Analyzing and assessing the quality of translations are very

sophisticated. Due to the limitation of time and experience, the author just

concentrates the study on the quality of some literary English Vietnamese

Translation Publications which are much more popular in Vietnam such as

Twilight (Stephenie Meyer), The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown), Harry potter

(Rowling, J.K), Detective Conan (Aoyama Gosho) and some Australian

Short stories translated by professional translators in Vietnam. This is

because of the fact that not only translations by unskilled translators but

worryingly those by contemporary professional translators in Vietnam can

have problems.

Besides mentioning the theoretical base in each part, the thesis

concentrates largely on dealing with translation in practice. The thesis is

mostly based on the combination and analysis of details picked from literary

publications.

1.4. Methodology

Sampling

4

Samples will be literary English and Vietnamese texts collected in

literary publications translated from English into Vietnamese. All these

original texts and translation texts are from personal materials, library and

the internet.

These samples in both English and Vietnamese will be selected from

these sources because it is easier to get access to and they are concerned

and read by so many people.

Data Collection instrument:

Data will be collected in some literary publications and the internet.

Each text will be printed and copied of both Vietnamese and English

versions so that comparison between translation texts and the original texts

can be made.

Data collection process:

Firstly, both Vietnamese and English versions will be transcribed

from literary publications and the internet to be convenient for comparison.

Then texts in English and Vietnamese will be read, compared and

analyzed carefully to identify problems existed in literary English –

Vietnamese translations today and made translation texts have poor

quality.

Data analysis:

Data analysis will be implemented to answer the research questions.

Problems, if available after being identified from the translations will be

categorized into types of errors. Through the process of calculating and

5

identifying errors or problems existed in translation texts. The most

popular problem made in translations will be figured out.

From existing problems in translations, suggestions to overcome

problems making translation disqualified will be given.

During the process of reading, comparing and analyzing translations

today, knowledge of translation practice situation today will be enlarged.

Thanks to this, causes leading to not enough quality translation will be found.

1.5. Organizations of the thesis

The thesis is organized as follows. It is divided into two different

sections. The first section is for literature review. The purpose of literature

review is to analyze critically a segment of relevant published works through

classification and comparison of previous research studies and theoretical

articles. It combines both summary and synthesis. And it traces back the

academic developments and intellectual progression in the field. For its

importance, the literature review deserves the whole chapter 2 for its

representation. The second section is all about an empirical study drawing on

the findings from a survey. This section is split into three chapters. Methods

and Procedures of the survey will be discussed in chapter 3. Survey

Results and Discussions will appear in chapter 4. Suggestions for further study

along with Conclusion will be revealed in the last chapter- chapter 5.

The ideas developed in this thesis will not be of purely theoretical

interest. They are expected to have practical impact on analyzing errors

usually met in literary English Vietnamese Translations to assess the quality

of literary translations. For that reason, the thesis will be much of interest to

the readers.

6

CHAPTER 2

LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1. Introduction:

A literature review discusses published information in a particular

subject area, and sometimes information in a particular subject area within

a certain time period. Literature review is an account of what has been

published on a topic by accredited scholars and researchers but not

simply a new interpretation of old material. Therefore, this chapter is

intended not only to demonstrate relevant information on the quality

of literary English Vietnamese Translations but also to provide informed

evaluation of the literature. It starts with a brief description of literary

translations, errors classification in translation, then a focus on translation

quality, methods to assess the translation quality and assessment criteria.

2.2. Literary Translation:

2.2.1. Definition of Translation:

In any account of interlingual communication, translation is used as

a generic term. Professionally, however, the term translation is confined to

the written, and the term interpretation to the spoken (Newmark, 1991: 35).

If confined to a written language, translation is a cover term with three

distinguishable meanings: 1) translating, the process (to translate; the

activity rather than the tangible object), 2) a translation: the product of the

process of translating (e.g. the translated text), and 3) translation: the

abstract concept which encompasses both the process of translating and the

product of that process (Bell, 1991: 13).

7

A straight forward explanation of translation given by Catford

(1965, p.11) can help even non-professionals have an overall picture of

what translation is. He simply described translation as an “operation

performed on languages, a process of substituting a text in one

language for a text in another”. Another definition of translation put

forward by Edmond Cary (1985, p. 85), as cited in Lederer, (2003, p.7),

has received the approval from many linguistic theorists. Translation is a

process which attempts to establish equivalents between two texts

expressed in two different languages. These equivalents are, by definition,

always dependent on the nature of the two texts, on their objectives, on the

relationship between the two cultures involved and their moral, intellectual

and emotional conditions.

It is obvious that both translation and interpreting “…consist of

understanding an original text, deverbalizing its linguistic form and then

expressing in another language [with] the ideas grasped and emotion

felt…” (Marianne Lederer, 2003, p.8), however, while interpreting refers

to orally converting one spoken language into another, translation refers to

converting a written text from one language into another.

Both translators and interpreters are required to have a good

command of the native language and at least a foreign language,

analytical ability, high concentration, subject matter knowledge and

sensitivity to cultural issues. However, there are different sets of

indispensable skills for each. While am interpreter must have extraordinary

listening abilities, it is important for a translator to be sharp writer and

skilled editor.

2.2.2. Definition of literary translation

8

A literary translation is translation of literature such as novels, plays

and poems. The translation of literary works is considered by many one of

the highest forms of translation as it involves so much more than simply

translating text.

A literary translator must be capable of also translating feelings,

cultural nuances, humor and other subtle elements of a piece of work. In

addition to dealing with the difficulties inherent to translations of all fields,

a literary translator must consider the aesthetic aspects of the text, its

beauty and style, as well as its marks (lexical, grammatical, or

phonological), keeping in mind that one language’s stylistic marks can be

drastically different from another’s. When the source and target languages

belong to different cultural groups, the first problem faced by the translator

is finding terms in his or her own language that express the highest level of

faithfulness possible to the meaning of certain words.

2.3. Translation Quality

2.3.1. Definition of quality and translation quality

Phil Crosby (1980s) defined that quality is "Conformance to

specifications". There is a difficulty with this point is that the

specifications may not be what the customer wants; for example: A

translated song text has no errors (in terms of orthography, grammar ...)

but it has not enough vocals; the musical texture is destroyed. Joseph M.

Juran (1904) stated that quality is "Fitness for use". Meanwhile, John

Ruskin shares the viewpoint that quality is "Result of intelligent effort”.

9

With this point, he wants to mention to the effort of translators when

producing a translation with high quality.

The concept of translation quality has long been a subject of

disagreements and arguments. The quality of translated text is understood

as1

a) degree of its equivalency to the source text

b) degree of its adequacy to the source text

The equivalency is understood as precise and unambiguous of the

meaning of the ST. Meanwhile, the adequacy is defined compliance with

the equivalency plus the efficiency in communication and compliance with

the genre style.

In the definition of adequacy, the efficiency in communication is

understood as the comprehension of the text. And the genre style is that the

translation has to match the dominant function and stylistic peculiarities of

the type the text belongs to. A translation also has to meet the requirements

of pragmatic norm which ensures pragmatic value of the translation and

the requirements of conventional norm which ensures maximum closeness

between the translationand the source.

Nowadays, the demand of translation quality has increased. Levels

of translation quality2 can be described at least in the following terms:

1). Raw translation; 2). Normal quality translation. 3). Extra quality

translation; 4). Adaptation of original text.

The first level of translation quality is raw translation that mentions

to the central meaning of the source text. In raw translation, there may be

1 From http://www.langint.com/blog/index.php/archives/320

Retrieved April 14, 2010 2 From http://www.issco.unige.ch/en/research/projects/ewg96/node165.html

Retrieved April 19, 2010

10

some mistakes such as grammatical and spelling errors; but the text has to

be understandable. The second level is normal quality translation. In this

level, the source text must be translated grammatically and fully to help

readers understand completely the ideas of author. The third level is extra-

quality translation. The translation reached to this level must be ensure

both the fluency and idiom and should be assimilated completely to the

cultural context of the TL. The last one is the adaptation of original text.

The translation in this level may be reordered according to what the

translatordeems appropriate. The translation text is expected to be fluent

language.

2.3.2. Role of Translation Quality Assessment (TQA)

Translation Quality Assessment (TQA) plays an important role in the

contribution of improving the quality of translation. In his book “A text

book of translation” (1995), New Mark implies that TQA is very necessary

for translators because of three main reasons. At first, translators can

improve their competences and obtain more useful experiences during the

process of TQA. Second of all, translators can enlarge their knowledge and

understanding of both the language of the original text and the language of

the translation. And lastly, TQA is one of good way for translators to

enlarge their understanding of the theory of translation.

New Mark (1995) also shares his idea when regarding TQA as “the

keystone of any course in comparative literature, or literature in

translation, and a component of any professional translation course with

the appropriate text-types as an exercise for criticism and discussion”.

2.3.3. Criteria for Translation Quality Assessment

Criteria for TQA still remains controversial because it depends on

one’s view and theory of translation. Based on one’s view, House (1997 in

11

Schãffner, 1997) states that “different views of translation lead to different

concepts of translation quality, and hence different ways of assessing it”

Meanwhile, Schãffner (1997) assumes that the criteria for TQA is different

regarding the purposes of the assessment and on the theoretical framework

which the assessors apply to assess the quality of translation. According

Nida (1964), there are three criteria for an optimal translation including

general efficiency of the communication process comprehension of intent

and equivalence of response. Besides, Nida and Taber (1969:173) also

share ideas of another set of criteria: the correctness with which the

message of the original is understood through the translation, the ease of

comprehension and the involvement a person experience as a result of the

adequacy of the form of the translation.

New mark in the textbook of “Translation criticism” (1995) also

suggests some criteria for TQA as follow:

-accuracy, economy, both according to the translator’s standards and

to the critic’s standards

-without reference to the SL: smoothness, naturalness, easy flow,

readability, absence of interference

2.3.4. Approaches to assess the quality of translations

So far, there are many ideas of approaches to assess the quality of

translation.

Williams (2004) shares his idea by suggesting combined micro and

macro textual approach to TQA, which tries to unite quantitative and

qualitative dimensions. Meanwhile, Baker, Gabriela Saldanha (1998) in the

12

book “Routledge Encyclopedia of Translation Studies” assumes that there

are three main approaches to assess the quality of translation as follow:

1). Anecdotal and subjective approaches; 2). Response-oriented

psycholinguistic approaches and 3). Text-based approaches.

According to Baker,Gabriela Saldanha, the first approach, anecdotal

and subjective approaches, implies that the quality of a translation depends

on the personal knowledge, institution andartistic competence of the

translator. Stlolze states that a “good” translation can only come about

when the translator identifies him or herself fully with the text to be

translated. While the first approach focuses on the translators’ competence,

the second one mainly depends on measures of intelligibility and

informativeness. The third one is text-based approaches which may be

informed by linguistics, comparative literature or functional models. And

in linguistically based approaches, the source and the target texts are

compared with a view to discover syntactic semantic, stylistic and

pragmatic regularities of transfer. Another text-based approach to

translation quality assessment is suggested by Reiß (1971) which is that the

most important invariant in translation is the text type to which the source

text belongs as it determines all other choices a translator has to mark.

Reiß proposed three basic types on the Basis of Buhler’s (1934) language

functions: content-oriented, form-oriented and cognitive.

Roller (1979/2004) suggests that there are three stages assessing the

quality of translation: (a) source text criticism, with a view to assessing

transferability into the target language, (b) translation comparison, taking

account of the methods used in the production of a given translation, and

13

(c) translation evaluation on the basis of native speaker metalinguistic

judgments based on the text – specific features established in stage (a).

2.4. Translation Errors

2.4.1. Definition

Actually, even excellent translators make mistakes in translations.

Newbert and Shreve (1995) describe a translation error in the following

statement:

What rightly appears to be linguistically equivalent may very frequently qualify as “translationally nonequivalent” and this is so because the complex demands on adequacy in translation involve subject factors and transfer conventions that typically run counter to considerations about “surface” linguistic equivalence (1995:415).

Through this statement, Newbert and Shreve partially describes that

it is difficult and complicated to define and identify translation errors

which are different from errors that would occur in spontaneous native

language production. And in the case of second language learners,

identifying translation errors is strictly because translation errors may be

mixed up with linguistic errors.

2.4.2. Categories of errors:

Up to present, translation errors classification remains controversial.

American Translation Association3 (ATA) describes translation

errors as follow:

1- Illegible

2- Misunderstanding of the original text

3 From http://www.atanet.org/certification/aboutexams_presentation.php

14

3- Mistranslation into TL

4- Addition or omission

5- Terminology, word choice

6- Register

7- Too freely translated

8- Too literal, word for word translation

9- False cognate

10- Indecision-gave more than option

11- Inconsistency (same term translated differently)

12- Ambiguity

13- Grammar

14- Syntax

15- Punctuation

16- Spelling in translations

17- Accents and other diacritical marks

18- Case ( upper/lower)

19- Word form

20- Usage

Retrieved April 20th, 2010

15

21- Style

Meanwhile, New Mark (1995) divides most of the “mistakes” into two

types which are referential mistakes and linguistic mistakes. Referential

mistakes refer to all mistakes relating to facts or information in the world.

On the other hand, linguistic mistakes include words, collocation and

idiom.

16

CHAPTER 3

METHODOLOGY

3.1. Sampling

Samples were picked up in some literary publications such as

Twilight (Stephenie Meyer, 2005), The Da Vinci Code (Brown, Dan,

2003), Harry Potter (Rowling, J.K), some Australian Short Stories,

Detective Conan (Aoyama Gosho), etc. Most of literary works chosen are

familiar with readers and are approached by many people.

There are 2 reasons encouraging me choose these samples. Firstly,

most of them are popular with readers all over the world. There are both

English version and Vietnamese version which are easy for me to find.

Moreover, these literary works are famous and assessed by many readers.

Regarding the importance of those literary works, it is possible to assume

that translators producing translations of these works have a good

command of both English and Vietnamese and thus, the risk of linguistic

incompetence of translators can be minimized.

The sample collection process consists of two main steps. Firstly,

both Vietnamese and English versions were taken to be convenient for

comparison and analysis. And then texts in English and Vietnamese will be

read, compared and analyzed carefully to identify problems existed in

literary English - Vietnamese translations and made translation texts

disqualified.

3.2. Data analysis

17

Actually, producing a translation can be considered as a process

which creates products. To give a translation, translators use not only all

different translation methods to convey the message of the source texts but

also linguistic ability, grammatcal knowledge, etc to ensure the quality of a

translation

Data analysis process will be implemented to answer the research

questions. Firstly, the English version and other relevant document were

used as the basis of the comparison process. Errors existing in translations

will be identified.

After the process of identifying error problems existed in translation

texts, identified errors were categorized into types of errors. One error in

the translations can fall into some different kinds of errors. After the

process of calculating and identifying error, the most popular errors made

in translation will be figured out. From existing problems in translation,

suggestions to overcome problems making translation disqualified will be

given.

18

CHAPTER 4

FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

4.1. Linguistic errors

The linguistic errors can be divided into the following groups:

4.1.1 Lexical errors

Lexical interference traps are common enough but more invidious are

innocent looking collocations which appear to make sense until one asks

oneself what they mean in particular context. Lexical interference is very

dangerous because it can distort the meaning of a sentence.

4.1.1.1. Context

The context itself determines the meaning of words. Therefore, their

meaning should be solved in the context. It is commonly known that a word

may have equivalents and accordingly the analysis of its meaning has to be

made carefully in order to pick out the most appropriate word. There are

many ways of translating of some nouns related to professions, classes, and

fields in society. For example, in a text written about Buddhism in which

there are two words “clergy” and “death”. Some translated transferred

“clergy” as “giáo su” and “death” as “cái ch t” for Buddha. It sounds

strange and funny. In fact, “clergy” translated as “giáo si” for Catholicism

but “gi i tang d ” for Buddhism. The word “death” is normally translated as

“cái ch t” but “vua bang hà” in “King’s death” and as for Buddhism this

word should be translated as “viên t ch”.

19

Let us consider some examples extracted from the translation of a

famous literary translation “Twilight” (Stephenie Meyer) – Ch ng v ng

translated by a professional translator as follow:

The English version:

“There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at first.

Where was the feel of the institution? I wondered nostalgically. Where were

the chain-link fences, the metal detectors?”

The Vietnamese version:

“Cây c i nhi u d n d tho t nhìn, tôi không bi t du c ngôi tru ng có

quy mô l n nh ra sao. Ðâu r i cái c m giác b i h i quen thu c? tôi t h i

lòng mình m t cách luy n ti c. Hàng rào dâu, các máy dò kim lo i d t

ch nào.”

In this example, the context itself determines the meaning of the

sentence “Where was the feel of the institution?” The speaker, Bella wants to

emphasize the reality that “the new school is different from her

imagination”, therefore, she wants to find the feeling of the institution, not

“dâu r i c m giác b i h i quen thu c”. So, the suggested Vietnamse version

here can be “Ðâu r i nh ng hình nh quen thu c c a m t ngôi tru ng?”

Another example also extracted from “Twilight” (Stephenie Meyer) as

follow:

The English version:

20

I glanced up, and he was staring at me, that same inexplicable look of

frustration in his eyes. Suddenly I identified that subtle difference in his

face.

“Did you get contacts?” I blurted out unthingkingly.

He seemed puzzled by my unexpected question. “No”.

“Oh,” I numbled. “I thought there was something different about your

eyes.”

The Vietnamese version:

“H n ta dang cham chú nhìn tôi, v n là cái ki u nhìn bu n bã, vô v ng

và r t khó hi u… Và d t nhiên, tôi b ng nh n ra d c di m trên guong m t

Edward mà lúc an trua, tôi dã có c m giác ng ng .

- B anh b b nh h ? – Tôi th t ra thành ti ng mà ch ng h suy nghi.

H n ta có v b i r i tru c câu h i không mong d i c a tôi.

- Không.

- m – Tôi l m b m – Tôi th y trong m t anh có cái gì dó l l m.”

In OALD, the word “contact” has six meanings:

1. act of communication with sb

2. State of touching sth

3. instance of meeting or communicating with sb

4. person that you know, esp sb who can be helpful to you in your

work.

21

5. electrical connection

6. contact = contact lens: thin piece of plastic that you put on your

eye to help you see better.

This is an example taken from Twighlight (Stephenie Meyer, 2003)

and translated by a professional translator. Based on analysis and the

meaning of the context, obviously the noun “contact” doesn’t have meaning

“b nh”. This word is synonymous with the noun phrase “contact lens” =

“kính áp tròng”4.

Suggested Vietnamese version:

“H n ta dang cham chú nhìn tôi, v n là cái ki u nhìn bu n bã, vô v ng

và r t khó hi u… Và d t nhiên, tôi b ng nh n ra d c di m trên guong m t

Edward mà lúc an trua, tôi dã có c m giác ng ng .

“Anh mang kính áp tròng dúng không?” Tôi bu t mi ng th t ra không

k p suy nghi.

H n ta có v b i r i tru c câu h i không mong d i c a tôi.

- Không.

- m – Tôi l m b m – Tôi th y trong m t anh có cái gì dó l l m.

Another example also extracted from the novel Twilight (Stephenie

Meyer, 2005) as follow:

The English version:

"Was that the boy I sat next to in Biology?" I asked artlessly.

22

The Vietnamese version:

“Có ph i là ngu i ng i c nh mình trong l p sinh h c không?” - Tôi th t thà

h i

The phrase “play dumb” means “pretend not to know or understand”.

In Vietnamese, that means “gi v không bi t”, not “h i th ng” like the

Vietnamese version.

“Artlessly”5 has four meanings:

1. Having or displaying no guile, cunning, or deceit

2. Free of artificiality; natural: artless charm.

3. Lacking art, knowledge, or skill; uncultured and ignorant.

4. Poorly made or done; crude.

Obviously, the most suitable equivalent for the word “artlessly” in

this example is “gi v ngây tho”. Therefore, the suggested Vietnamese

version here can be:

“Có ph i là ngu i ng i c nh mình trong l p sinh h c không?” - Tôi

g a v ngây tho h i.

Another detail in “Twilight” translated in not exact equivalence is the

noun phrase “matching houses” = “nh ng ngôi nhà gi ng nhu h p diêm”:

The English version:

It looked like a collection of matching houses, built with maroon

colored bricks. There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at

first.

4 From http://vi.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%ADnh_%C3%A1p_tr%C3%B2ng

Retrieved April 21, 2010 5 From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/artlessly

Retrieved April 24, 2010

23

The Vietnamese version:

Toàn b ngôi tru ng t a nhu m t t p h p c a nh ng ngôi nhà hình

h p diêm, du c xây b ng lo i g ch có màu nâu s m. Xung quanh tru ng,

d y nh ng cây xanh, cao có, lúp xúp có. Cây c i nhi u d n d tho t nhìn, tôi

không bi t du c ngôi tru ng có quy mô l n, nh ra sao. “Matching houses”

= Nh ng can nhà (du c xây d ng d ) nhìn có v hòa d ng.

“Match houses” = nhà d choi, bé nhu h p diêm.

The problem here lies in the phrase “matching houses”. The translator

made mistakes in translating “matching houses” = nh ng ngôi nhà hình h p

diêm.

The following example taken from the short story translation of an

experienced translator, the work “From Leo – With Love” by Iris

Milutinovic:

The English version:

“The children were educated by the School of the Air”

The Vietnamese version:

“T i tr con di h c tru ng c a con em trong can c không quân”

Based on the context of this short story, children in this remote village

cannot have enough conditions “di h c tru ng c a con em trong can c

không quân”. The phrase “the School of the Air” can be meant “h th ng l p

h c truy n qua sóng di n” (used for children in remote areas without means

of transportation.

One more example extracted from the translation of Harry potter 7

(Rowling, J.K) as follow:

The English version:

"You look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle".

24

The Vietnamese version:

Ái chà, coi b b nh m ngon hon Crabbe và Goyle, Harry à".

In this situation, the author wants to use the word “tastier” showing the

realation between male and female which made Hermione blush after.

Some vocabulary errors also appeared in the translation of “The Da

Vinci Code” (Dan Brown) translated by a professional translator.

No.

English version Vietnamese version Suggested Vietnamese

version

1

He reminded

himself, however,

that killing

Langdon would be

a generous fate

compared to the

misery about to be

communicated by

Bezu Fache and

the French prison

system.

Tuy nhiên, t b n

thân anh nh c nh

mình r ng gi t

Langdon s là m t ân

hu l n c a s ph n

so v i s bí n mà

Bezu Fach d nh nói

và h th ng nhà tù

Pháp.

Tuy nhiên, t b n thân

anh nh c nh mình

r ng gi t Langdon s là

m t ân hu l n c a s

ph n so v i s kh n

kh

(nh m l n gi a

misery và mystery)

du c ban t ng b i

Bezu Fache và h

th ng nhà tù Pháp

Opus Dei is a

personal prelature

of Vatican City,

and His Holiness

Opus Dei là t ng

giám m c c a thành

ph Vaticang, và s

linh thiêng c a ngài

Opus Dei là m t b

ph n tôn giáo c a

thành ph Vaticang, và

Ð c Giáo hoàng có th

25

2

can disperse

monies however

he sees fit. No law

has been broken

here

có th gi i ngân du c

b t c lúc nào mà

ngài th y thích h p.

dây hoàn toàn

không có gì ph m

pháp c ."

gi i ngân du c b t c

lúc nào mà ngài th y

thích h p. dây hoàn

toàn không có gì ph m

pháp c ."

3

When I retire,

Vernet told

himself, I will fill

my cellar with

rare Bordeaux..

Vernet t nh , khi ta

v ngh huu, ta s d

d y các t bào c a ta

b ng lo i ru u Bordo

quý giá

Vernet t nh , khi ta v

ngh huu, ta s d d y h m

ru u (nh m l n gi a

cell và cellar) c a ta

b ng lo i ru u Bordo quý

giá.

4

For others, it is the

quest for lost

documents and

secret history..."

Ð i v i nh ng ngu i

khác, dó là yêu c u

d i v i nh ng tài li u

b m t và l ch s bí

m t..."

Ð i v i nh ng ngu i

khác, dó là cu c tìm

ki m (nh m l n gi a

quest và request) d i

v i nh ng tài li u b

m t và l ch s bí

m t..."

Table 1: Some vocabulary errors in the translation of “The Da

Vinci Code” (Dan Brown)

26

It is characteristic of word that a single lexical item may have several

meanings. The same word used in different context will have different

meanings.

At the level of words, problems can only be solved if the translator

works hard to improve both his English and Vietnamese vocabulary to a

level that he is capable of choosing the right word in any case to produce a

natural translation. It is crucial for a translator to fully understand all

the denotations and connotations of a word so that he can avoid

making any loss of connotational meanings as in examples given. To do

that, he also needs flexibility in the use of words and does not

translate mechanically basing on an English – Vietnamese dictionary.

4.1.2. Idioms

The meanings of idioms are not definitely related to grammatical rules

or the lexical meaning of each word because they feature the metaphor and

figures of speech.

In fact, idioms can be translated satisfactorily by considering the

context, if not, it is difficult to find the exact meaning. An English idiom

must be translated into Vietnamese by an equivalent one. It is very important

to be aware that we must not choose the equivalents of every word forming

the idiom but we do find the equivalent ways of expression which exist in

both languages. If we stick to each word, the meaning becomes strange,

unnatural and funny. The following erors were found in some of the

translated works and should be corrected.

The following example extracted from the translation of “Twilight”

(Stephenie Meyer) can be seen as the misuse of idiom of an experienced

translator:

27

The English version:

“But Edward Cullen’s back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at

me – his face was absurdly handsome with piercing, hate-filled eyes. For an

instant, I felt a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on my arms”.

The translation version:

“T m lung c a Edward Cullen b ng g ng lên, h n ta ch m rãi xoay

ngu i l i và nh n ra tôi – guong m t Edward di n trai m t cách “dáng ghét”

– v i dôi m t s c s o ch a d y n i b c b i. N i s hãi trong tôi l i dâng lên,

tràn ra c l chân lông trên tay”.

In this example, the idiom “a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on

my arms” does not mean “s hãi trong tôi l i dâng lên, tràn c ra l chân

lông trên tay”. This idiom means “s d ng tóc gáy”. By giving the correct

meaning of the idiom, the translated sentence will sound more natural.

The second example is also extracted from the translation “Twilight”

(Stephenie Meyer).

The English version:

“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked, distracted.

“No.” I didn’t feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full – of

butterflies. “You?” I looked at theempty table in front of him.

The Vietnames version:

- Cô không th y dói b ng à? – Edward lên ti ng, rõ ràng là dang mu n

c d n c m xúc l i.

28

- Không – Tôi không c m th y dói chút nào – Th còn anh? – Tôi h i,

m t nhìn vào ph n bàn tr ng tron phía tru c m t h n ta.

The idiom “To have butterflies in one’s stomach” means “b n ch n, lo l ng,

không còn b ng d nào làm gì”, not “c m th y dói”. It would be more

idiomatic to translate as follow:

- Không.” Tôi không mu n thú nh n r ng tôi ch ng còn b ng d nào d

an u ng n a.

In conclusion, translators sometimes committed the lexical errors

mentioned above including those of context, word collocation and idioms.

The problem is that some translators did not realize the linking meaning of

word units. It is obvious that these units link together to create a larger unit

of meaning in a given text to be translated. The linking meaning itself does

not exist in separate word units but in the link of the units constituting the

whole text.

4.2. Translational errors

There are five main types of translational errors that will be analyzed

in this chapter. They are omission, addition, equivalence, accuracy and

naturalness. During the process of analyzing translational errors in literary

English Vietnamese translations, translation theories and translation

methods play crucial roles.

4.2.1. Omission

In this thesis, omission in translation can be understood that no

translation of a certain piece of information in the ST and the information

does not include in the TT. This type consists of words, sentences or

29

paragraphs that were omitted by the translators. In literary translation, it is

very important to realize that the sentences or paragraphs omitted

information or not because it is useful to understand clearly, fully and

completely the message of the sentences, passages and the works. For

example:

No English version Vietnamese version

1

It’s a good thing he’s

happily married.

Cu c hôn nhân c a ông ta

r t t t d p

2

“Bella?” a different voice

called from the distance.

No! Please let me be

imagining that horribly familiar

voice

“What’s wrong – is she

hurt?” His voice was closer now,

and he sounded upset.

-“Bella?” – có ti ng g i

tôi t dàng xa

(omitted)

- Có chuy n gì v y… Cô

y b dau dâu à? – Gi ng nói

y g n hon và ch a d y s

th ng th t.

Table 2: Some omission errors in the translation of Twilight

(Ch ng v ng) – Stephenie Meyer

These examples are extracted from “Twilight” (Stephenie Meyer,

2003). In the first example, the translator omitted “It’s a good thing” when

30

translating. And in the second example, the sentence “No! Please let me be

imagining that horribly familiar voice” in the English version is omitted and

not translated in the Vietnamese version.

Other examples of omission error in literary translation are taken from

a newspaper6 written by Lê Hùng commenting on the literary translation of

Autralian Short Stories of a professional translator. When reading the Short

Stories named “Joe” (Peter Carey) - Th ng Joe and “From Leo – With Love”

(Iris Milutinovic) – “Chào thân ái, Leo”, he realized some mistakes in the

translation. Some sentences in the English version are omitted and not

translated in the Vietnamese version.

No. English version Vietnamese version

1

“He says, I don't think it

was.

Dad says, how do you

mean?

Joe looks sort of

embarrassed. He begins to pick

at the scab again. He bends his

head to look at it closer, so all

we can see is the top of his head.

He says something we can't

hear.

“Nó b o, có l không .

(Omitted)

B nói, cái gì?

6 From http://www.talawas.org/talaDB/showFile.php?res=14166&rb=07

Retrieved April 24, 2010

31

Dad says, what?

Joe says, is it rape...”

“Joe” (Peter Carey) (page

140 – 141)

Joe nói, có ph i th là

hi p không...”

2

Joe has the ears, but not

the nose. That is perhaps his one

characteristic

“Joe” (Peter Carey) (page

132 -133)

Omitted

3 You can see the mark

where his head touches the wall

“Joe” (Peter Carey) (page

136 – 137)

Omitted

32

4

Don fought for his dream,

eventually managing to persuade

an initially reluctant

Government that here, less than

an hour’s helicopter flight from

the desert rocket range,

sufficient fresh foods might be

grown to supply the base

“From Leo – With Love”

(Iris Milutinovic) (Page 144 -

145)

Omitted

Table 3: Omission errors

4.2.2. Addition

In the thesis, addition errors in translation can be understood that the

translator adds some information without in the ST into the TT. This type

consists of words, sentences or paragraphs that were added by the

translators. It is necessary to realize that the sentences or paragraphs added

information or not because it is useful to understand exactly the message of

the sentences, passages and the works. For example:

No.

The English version The Vietnamese version

1 I had to get out of the house, Tôi c n ph i ra kh i nhà,

33

but there was nowhere I

wanted to go to that didn’t

involve a three-day drive.

Twilight, Stephenie Meyer

(2003)

không di thì diên lên m t! dù

th t ra, tôi ch ng mu n di dâu

mà không c n ph i lái xe su t

ba ngày du ng c .

2 "If I manage to leave the

organization after this, will

you go out with me as a real

boyfriend?"

Detective Conan, Aoyama

Gosho (1994)

Anh yêu, n u em có th r i

kh i t ch c này thì anh hãy

d n dón em nhé, chúng ta s

làm dám cu i, r i chúng ta s

cùng di d n m t noi nào dó

th t xa, xa h n noi này . . ."

Table 4: Addition Errors

The translators of Twilight (Stephenie Meyer) and Detective Conan,

Aoyama Gosho

(1994) added some more information into the translations.

Sometimes information added in translations can be unimportant but

sometimes addition can cause the misunderstanding the message of the

source texts. In the first example, the translator added “không di thì diên

lên m t” which does not appear in the ST in the translation. The same

mistake happened in the second example with the translation of Detective

Conan (Aoyama Gosho). Some information in the translation such as

“chúng ta s làm dám cu i, r i chúng ta s cùng di d n m t noi nào dó

th t xa, xa h n noi này” does not have in the ST.

4.2.3. Equivalence

34

The definitions of translation suggested in 2.2.1 imply that producing

the same meaning or message in the target language text as intended by the

original author is the main objective of a translator. This notion of 'sameness'

is often understood as an equivalence relation between the source and target

texts. This equivalence relation is generally considered the most salient

feature of a quality translation.

The principle that a translation should have an equivalence relation

with the source language text is problematic. Equivalence is the central issue

in any discussion on translation. Nevertheless, the definition, relevance and

applicability of equivalence still remain controversial. It is difficult to

achieve exact equivalence or effect because of three main reasons. Firstly, it

is impossible for a text to have constant interpretations even for the same

person on two occasions (Hervey, Higgins and Haywood (1995: 14). These

translation scholars share their ideas that one could objectively assess textual

effects; one would need to have recourse to a fairly detailed and exact theory

of psychological effect, a theory capable, among other things, of giving an

account of the aesthetic sensations that are often paramount in response to a

text (Hervey, Higgins and Haywood (1995: 14). Secondly, translation is a

matter of subjective interpretation of translators of the source language text.

Thus, producing an objective effect on the target text readers, which is the

same as that on the source text readers is an unrealistic expectation. Thirdly,

it may not be possible for translators to determine how audiences responded

to the source text when it was first produced. Miao (2000) gives a specific

example of the impossibility of the equivalence relation:

If an original was written centuries ago and the language of the original is difficult to comprehend for modern readers, then a simplified translation may well have greater impact on its readers that the original had

35

on the readers in the source culture. No translator would hinder the reader's comprehension by using absolute expressions in order to achieve equivalent effect (Miao, 2000: 202)

Because the target text can never be equivalent to the source text at all

levels, researchers have distinguished different types of equivalence

(Lauscher, 2000: 151). Nida (1964) suggests formal and dynamic or

functional equivalence. Formal equivalence focuses attention on the message

itself, in both form and content. It requires that the message in the target

language should match as closely as possible the different elements in the

source language. Dynamic equivalence is based on the principle of

equivalent effect, where the relationship between the receptor and message

should be substantial the same as that existed between the original receptors

and the message. Newmark (1981) makes a distinction between

communicative and semantic translation. Like Nida's dynamic equivalence,

communicative translation also tries to create the effect on the target text

reader which is the same as that received by readers of the source language

text. Koller (1997) proposes denotative, connotative, pragmatic, textual,

formal and aesthetic equivalence.

Baker (1992) also suggests some ideas on classifying various

problems of equivalence in translation and suggests some strategies to deal

with them. Adopting a bottom-up approach, she begins with simple words

and phrases and continues with grammatical, textual and pragmatic

equivalences.

4.2.4. Accuracy

In the process of translating a text, the message of the original should

be preserved in the translation and this shows the fidelity or faithfulness of

36

the translator to the original text. Beekman and Callow (1989: 33) believe

that a faithful translation is the one "which transfers the meaning and the

dynamics of the original text"; and by 'transferring the meaning', they mean

that the translation conveys the ST information to the TT readers. According

to Beekman and Callow (1989: 34), "only as the translator correctly

understands the message, can he begin to be faithful", and it is only then that

"he can translate clearly & accurately". In fact, faithfulness and fidelity are

two terms which show how much the TT reconstructs the ST.

Some translation theorists believe that the translation should be

evaluated by considering its ST as "the yardstick" (Manafi Anari 2004: 34,

vol. 2, no. 5). Manafi Anari (2004: 41, vol. 1, no. 4) defines accuracy as "the

exactitude or precision of the meaning conveyed" and in fact it "implies

conformity of translation with the original text in terms of fact or truth".

Also, he defines 'accurate translation' as a translation "which is the

reproduction of the message of the ST" (Manafi Anari 2004: 34, vol. 2, no.

5). Newmark (1996: 111) believes that in translating a text, "the accuracy

relates to the SL text, either to the author's meaning, or to the objective truth

that is encompassed by the text", etc.

According to the discussion above, accuracy can be considered as one

of the representations of the faithfulness in translation, i.e. showing how

accurately the translator has managed to reproduce the message of the ST

into the TL.

Larson (1984: 485) believes that in every translation, accuracy,

clearness and naturalness are of the great importance. Regarding the

translation accuracy, she believes that in some cases, when the translator

37

tries to get the meaning of the ST and convey it to the TT, s/he may make

some mistakes, either in the analysis of the ST, or in the process of

conveying the meaning, and a different meaning may result; then, there is a

need for a careful check regarding the accuracy of the translation. According

to Khomeijani Farahani (2005: 77-78) based on what Larson proposed in

1984, the process of evaluating the accuracy of translation can be done in

two possible ways: one way is recognizing the key words of the ST and their

equivalences in the TT and comparing how close they are; i.e. determining

whether the translator could convey the same and exact meaning of the ST

by selecting the best target equivalents and whether s/he could achieve an

acceptable accuracy or not. Another way is using back translation; i.e.

translating the TL into the SL, then, carrying out a contrastive analysis and if

the retranslated text is reasonably close to the ST, the translation has got the

acceptable accuracy

Consequently, the term 'translation accuracy' refers to the translator's

understanding of the message of the ST and that how accurately the

translator has managed to translate a text from one language into another.

Let us consider some examples extracted from “The Da vinci Code”

(Dan Brown) translated by a professional translator related to accuracy

errors:

No. English version Vietnamese version

1 “Slowing Remy down had

become Sophie’s task.”

D n d n, Remy tr thành nhi m

v c a Sophie

38

2 Kidnapping Teabing had not

been part of the plan, and

deciding what to do with

him posed a new problem

Vi c b t cóc t ng ti n Teabing là

m t ph n trong k ho ch và quy t

d nh làm gì v i ông ta s t o ra

m t v n d m i

3 Showing his face could not

be avoided, Silas thought.

Remy did what he had to do.

He saved the keystone

Bi u hi n trên nét m t là không

th tránh du c, Silas nghi. Remy

dã không làm vi c mà h n ph i

làm. H n ta gi viên dá d nh vòm

4 You opened it. Where… is

the map?

Anh hãy m nó ra... noi dó... có

ch a m t chi c b n d ?

Table 5: Some accuracy errors in the translation of “The Da Vinci

Code” (Dan Brown)

Table 3 shows some accuracy errors of “The Da Vinci Code” (Dan Brown).

In the first example, the phrase “slowing Remy down” = “d n d n, Remy” is

inaccurate.

Slow down7 in the first example has 5 different meanings:

1- lose velocity; move more slowly; "The car decelerated"

2- become slow or slower; "Production slowed"

3- cause to proceed more slowly; "The illness slowed him down"

4- reduce the speed of; "He slowed down the car"

7 From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/slow+down

Retrieved April 26, 2010

39

5- become less tense, rest, or take one's ease; "He relaxed in the hot tub";

"Let's all relax after a hard day's work"

Based on these meaning and the context of the novel, “Slowing Remy down”

should be translated into Vietnamese “c n bu c Remy”.

The second example, the translator translated “had not been part of the

plan” = “là m t ph n trong k ho ch” inaccurately. The English part should

mean “không là m t ph n trong k ho ch” because it is “had not been” not

“had been”.

The same error in the second example also appears in the third one when the

translator translated the sentence “Remy did what he had to do. He saved the

keystone” = “Remy dã không làm vi c mà h n ph i làm. H n ta gi viên dá

d nh vòm”. This sentence should be translated “Remy dã làm nh ng gì bu c

ph i làm và h n dã c u du c viên dá d nh vòm”.

The forth sentence is also translated incorrectly. “You opened it. Where… is

the map? = “Anh hãy m nó ra... noi dó... có ch a m t chi c b n d ?”. The

suggested Vietnaemse version here should be “Thì ra anh dã m nó ra r i.

V y... chi c b n d dâu?”.

The level of accuracy of translation demanded by Brophy-Phillips is

mainly achieved by a combination of the use of translators of the highest

quality and the systematic application of our methodical checking system.

To maintain a high standard of translation, a translator must translate into

their native language to ensure that the resulting translation is both clear and

succinct. The translator must also have a sufficient knowledge of the field

being translated to have a full understanding of the subject matter. Only by

having a full and clear understanding of the concepts involved in the subject

40

matter can a translator produce a translation which is both accurate and easy

to read.

4.2.5. Naturalness

Naturalness can be understood as “a set of requirements for

the target language used” (Shei, 2002) which makes the translation read

naturally and fit the context. If the translations cannot meet these

requirements, it causes unnaturalness in translations. Unnatural translation

does not gravely spoil the general meaning of the text; nonetheless, to

some extent, it distorts the writer’s intention, disappoints readers for

not meeting that set of requirements.

In translation, unnaturalness can be understood as the failure to

recreate a text “according to the writer's intention, the reader's

expectation, and the appropriate norms of the target language”,

making the translation imperfect and not literarily elegant (Newmark,

1988). This may be considered a definition of translation unnaturalness, on

which the following detailed analysis is based to judge the translations

taken out from different sources. And unnaturalness in translation can be

observed by analyzing the usage of words, expressions, grammatical

structures, etc. On the other hand, translated texts may be criticized for

using alien cultural concepts, which seem to be so strange to target

language (Vietnamese) readers, resulting in dissatisfaction. The

linguistic and cultural grounds are two main factors causing unnaturalness

in translation.

Most translators, unskilled translators, translation learners or even

professional translators can make this mistake in their translations.

41

Let us consider the following sentences:

No. English Vietnamese

1

I tried to think of a

logical solution that could

explain what I had just seen – a

solution that excluded the

assumption that I was insane.

Tôi c g ng suy lu n v n

d theo hu ng h p lí nh t v

nh ng gì mình v a du c ch ng

ki n – v n d dó ph i làm sao

ch ng minh du c r ng tôi dã m t

trí hoàn toàn m i du c.

2

I glanced up, and he was

staring at me, that same

inexplicable look of frustration

in his eyes. Suddenly I

identified that subtle difference

in his face.

H n ta dang cham chú

nhìn tôi, v n là cái ki u nhìn

bu n bã, vô v ng r t khó hi u…

Và d t nhiên, tôi b ng nh n ra

di m d c bi t trên guong m t

Edward mà lúc an trua tôi dã có

c m giác ng ng .

3

“You should see the

doctor,” Charlie said,

laughing. “It’s a good thing

he’s happily married. A lot of

the nurses at the hospital have

a hard time concentrating on

their work with him around.”

“Con nên d n tham bác s

- B tr l i và b t cu i thành

ti ng – Cu c hôn nhân c a ông

ta r t t t d p. Các cô y tá ph i

khó khan l m m i t p trung vào

công vi c du c m i khi có m t

bác s Cullen dó.”

42

“But Edward Cullen’s

back stiffened, and he turned

slowly to glare at me – his face

was absurdly handsome with

piercing, hate-filled eyes. For

an instant, I felt a thrill of

genuine fear, raising the hair

on my arms”.

“T m lung c a Edward

Cullen b ng g ng lên, h n ta

ch m rãi xoay ngu i l i và nh n

ra tôi – guong m t Edward di n

trai m t cách “dáng ghét” – v i

dôi m t s c s o ch a d y n i b c

b i. N i s hãi trong tôi l i dâng

lên, tràn ra c l chân lông trên

tay”.

Table 6: Some naturalness errors in the translation of Twilight

(Stephenie Meyer)

Those examples are extracted from the novel Twilight (Stephenie

Meyer, 2005) and the translation is the published Vietnamese version by a

renowned professional translator. In the first example, the part in

Vietnamese version which is “suy lu n v n d theo hu ng h p lí nh t v

nh ng gì mình v a du c ch ng ki n” is expressed too unnaturally to be

accepted as a translation of a literary work which requires high level of

smoothness and elegance.

Suggested Vietnamese Version for this example can be:

“Tôi c g ng tìm ra m t cách lí gi i h p lí nh t v nh ng gì mình

v a ch ng ki n – t t nhiên là ngoài cách th a nh n r ng mình dã m t trí.”

In the second example, the expression “Và d t nhiên, tôi b ng” in

Vitenamse version sounds not good enough. Using “và d t nhiên” and “tôi

43

b ng” at the same time is not necessary because they are equivalent in

Vietnamese. This is the reason causing unnaturalness in this expression.

Suggested Vietnamese Version can be:

“H n ta dang cham chú nhìn tôi, v n là cái ki u nhìn bu n bã, vô

v ng r t khó hi u… Ð t nhiên, tôi nh n ra di m d c bi t trên guong m t

Edward mà lúc an trua tôi dã có c m giác ng ng .”

The third example, “You should see the doctor,” Charlie said,

laughing. “It’s a good thing he’s happily married. A lot of the nurses at the

hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around”,

is sentences after Bella praised the attraction of Cullen family. This

English version is translated into Vietnamese “Con nên d n tham bác s -

B tr l i và b t cu i thành ti ng – Cu c hôn nhân c a ông ta r t t t d p.

Các cô y tá ph i khó khan l m m i t p trung vào công vi c du c m i khi

có m t bác s Cullen dó”. Actually, the sentence “You should see the

doctor” is quite difficult to express naturally. As usual, Vietnamese

usually use “di khám bác s ” instead of “d n tham bác s ”. Another point

in this sentence is the usage of words like “nh ng” or “các” in Vietnamese.

The word “các” means totality. Meanwhile “nh ng” shows a part in

totality. However, in this example, the translator misunderstood when

translating “a lot of” into “các”. This causes the unnaturalness in

translation.

Suggested Vietnamese version:

“Con nên di khám bác s

- B tr l i và b t cu i thành ti ng – Cung

may là cu c hôn nhân c a ông ta r t t t d p. Vì nhi u cô y tá ph i khó

khan l m m i t p trung du c m i khi có m t bác s Culen dó.”

44

The forth example, “I felt a thrill of genuine fear, raising the hair on

my arms”= “N i s hãi trong tôi l i dâng lên, tràn ra c l chân lông trên

tay” translated sounds unnatural. The suggested Vietnamese version here

can be “s d ng tóc gáy”.

The same errors met in the translation of a literary work attracted

many readers in Vietnam in particular and readers in the world in general,

The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) as follow:

No

English version Vietnamese version Suggested

Vietnamese

version

1 Hold on, Robert.

Almost there

C lên, Robert. H u

nhu ch còn dó thôi

C lên, Robert. S p

xong r i

2 It had been

hours, and the

operation had

veered wildly

off course. Now,

at last, it seemed

to be back on

track.

Chi c xe dã di nhi u

gi và cu c hành trình

d i hu ng liên t c. Bây

gi , nó du ng nhu

quay tr l i con du ng

mòn.

Ðã m y gi d ng

h , và k ho ch d i

hu ng liên t c. Bây

gi , cu i cùng thì

m i vi c du ng

nhu dâu l i vào dó.

3 "You will join

the ranks of the

great men you

"Anh s gia nh p vào

hàng ngu c a nh ng

con ngu i mà anh mo

Anh s gia nh p

vào hàng ngu c a

nh ng con ngu i

45

admire - Da

Vinci, Botticelli,

Newton - each

of whom would

have been

honored to be in

your shoes right

now..."

u c t lâu - Da Vinci,

Botticelli, Newton -

m i ngu i trong s h

dang du c tôn kính

ngay du i chân anh..."

mà anh mo u c t

lâu - Da Vinci,

Botticelli, Newton

- h d u s r t vinh

d du c vào d a v

c a anh lúc này...

4 “Jacques

reported to the

police that your

brother and I had

been in the car…

our two bodies

apparently

washed off in the

current...

Jacques, being a

man of

prominence, did

not have the

luxury of

disappearing. It

only made sense

that Sophie,

being the eldest,

Jacques thông báo v i

c nh sát r ng em trai

cháu và bà cung

trong chi c xe dó...

thân th hai chúng ta

dã du c t m g i s ch

s vào lúc dó... Jacques

là m t ngu i dàn ông

gi n d , ch ng h có

m t th xa x gì. Ông

ch có m t c m nh n

nh y bén r ng Sophie,

là ngu i l n tu i hon,

s Paris d Jacques

d y d và nâng d , g n

gui v i ông và s b o

v c a H i Tu vi n."

Jacques thông báo

v i c nh sát r ng

em trai cháu và bà

cung trong chi c

xe dó... du ng nhu

thân th hai chúng

ta dã b dòng nu c

cu n trôi...

Jacques, là m t

ngu i khá n i ti ng

nên không th d

dàng bi n m t - ý

nói không th khai

báo b ch t trong

tai n n. Và s h p

lý n u Sophie, d a

cháu l n s Paris

d Jacques d y d

46

would stay in

Paris to be

taught and raised

by Jacques,

close to the heart

and protection of

the Priory.”

và nâng d , g n gui

v i ông và s b o

v c a H i Tu vi n.

5 He was trapped,

and the doors

could not be

reopened for at

least twenty

minutes.

Ông dã b nh t, và các

cánh c a không th

du c m l i ít nh t

trong vòng hai muoi

phút.

Ông ta b nh t và

không th m l i

cánh c a trong

vòng ít nh t 20

phút.

Table 7: Some naturalness errors in the translation of the Da Vinci

Code (Dan Brown)

4.3. Summary and Implications

In this chapter of the thesis, the analysis of the errors in the literary

translations has been implemented. There are two main categories which are

linguistic errors and translational errors. The first group includes some

mistakes related to vocabulary, the context and idioms. The second and also

the last group of translational errors relating to the ST consists of omission

errors, addition errors, equivalence errors, accuracy errors and naturalness

errors.

In the course of the analysis, some implications have been made regarding

the answers to the two research questions.

47

Firstly, the answer to the research questions should be mentioned.

There are two main types of errors in literary translations. They are

linguistic errors and translational errors. The first type is divided into two sub

kinds which are lexical errors and idiom errors. The second type is

translational errors divided into 5 sub-kinds including omission errors,

addition errors, equivalence errors, accuracy errors and naturalness errors.

Secondly, implications relating to the possible causes of the errors

should be discussed. Errors in translation can be avoided as long as translators

are aware of the potential traps they may get caught in and know

strategies to overcome these pitfalls. But prior to this, it is strongly

recommended that all translators identify the main causes of translation errors.

To help translators and translation learners have a clearer view of the major

causes of errors in literary translation, this thesis classifies them into

subjective causes and objective causes.

First of all, subjective causes will be discussed. A translation of high

quality must be the work of a skillful translator. To be able to produce a

good translation, the translator must be competent in both the source and

target languages and have extensive cultural background. The primary reason

of a poor translation must be the insufficiency of the translator’s

language competence. The incompetence may be of Vietnamese, the target

language in English – Vietnamese translation, and/ or of English, the source

language. As the thesis focuses on the English – Vietnamese translation, the

target language is the Vietnamese language. Vietnamese is known for its

sophisticated grammatical rules on which not all Vietnamese people hold

appropriate knowledge. The fact has it that only a few

48

Vietnamese translators excel at their own mother tongue, let alone

students who are still learning to become translators. Language

incompetence can be observed in two broad areas: the vocabulary and

the grammatical structures. Insufficient knowledge on either of the two

areas may lead to translations of poor quality.

One of the other crucial criteria is the cultural background, without which

the translation, especially literary translation would be poor quality.

In fact, this includes competent knowledge on almost all aspects,

such as religions, traditional customs, social norms, historical

awareness,etc. This kind of combined knowledge can be gained along with

the process of learning English and learning translation. Nevertheless, only a

few learners are aware of this.

It is important that translators also pay much attention to their own

culture, the Vietnamese culture. By this, the quality of literary translation

will be improved and the rendering of idea will be better.

The second main cause is Objective cause. Actually, Vietnamese and

English have various differences in terms of vocabulary and grammatical

rules which make it difficult for translators to give perfect translations.

Furthermore, translation, especially literary translation is not simply a

linguistic transformation of texts, but it is also a rendering of cultural

concepts from one language to another. Cultural differences can also

create difficulties for translators. Asian culture in general and Vietnamese

culture in particular has few things in common with Western and

American culture. Numerous concepts which are familiar with the

Vietnamese may be alien to the English speaking readers. This is difficult

for translators to choose exact equivalence. To have a successful translation

with high quality, translators have to break the barriers of their own culture

49

CHAPTER 5

CONCLUSIONS

In this chapter, there are three main points being given. The first

point is an overview and summary of main chapters given. Secondly, the

strengths and weaknesses of the thesis are discussed. And lastly, some

suggestions for further research will be provided.

5.1. Overview and summary of the thesis

Literary translation has always played a very important role in

delivering messages across languages and cultural barriers. The practice of

translation always requires big efforts of translators to improve the quality

of translations. The purpose of my thesis is to contribute my humble study

to the research work of the quality of translations today by pointing out the

quality of literary English – Vietnamese translations today which is very

necessary and close to my everyday learning and work. This is to show

translators, especially people studying in universities are willing to become

translator obstacles they can meet when rendering literary English texts

into Vietnamese.

Apart from the chapter 1 which can be considered a brief

informative introduction to the thesis, the study is divided into four main

chapters.

In chapter 2, an overview of literary translation and the quality of

TQA, the role of TQA, criteria to assess the quality of translations and the

analysis translation errors are mentioned. By giving types of errors usually

met in translations and causes of errors, I attempted to help readers of this

thesis, especially would be translators and inexperienced ones to by fully

50

aware of what mistakes they may easily make before seeking ways to

avoid them.

Chapter 3 of this thesis deals with the methods applied for this

thesis. A brief summary of participants of the study and basic steps

including collecting data as well as analyzing data process were given.

Chapter 4 can be considered a classification of major errors that

were identified in the literary translations, specifically specific examples

cited, the thesis attempted to help readers of this thesis be fully aware of

what kinds of errors that the translators of the literary works made and

even translators in general may easily make. Implications are also provided

in this chapter.

5.2. Strengths and weaknesses of the thesis

Up to now, there have been many books on English – Vietnamese

translation, however, very few of them meet the full demand of the quality

of literary English Vietnamese translations today. This thesis discusses this

phenomenon in detail with relevant examples. The organization of the

thesis is also easy for readers to understand and catch the main ideas of the

issue. The thesis also discusses common errors that translators may make

in literary English Vietnamese translations.

Nevertheless, there are some weaknesses in this thesis that may have

influence on the final results. Firstly, due to the limited time of research of

the broad scope, it is concerned with issues mentioned are still somewhat

general and the investigation of the impacts that translation errors might

have on the readers was not carried out. Therefore, the thesis cannot

provide a comprehensive approach to the issue. Secondly, due to the

researcher’s limited knowledge in linguistics and translation studies,

mistakes in the course of analysis are unavoidable.

51

5.3. Suggestions for further research

In the process of integration into the world economy and culture of

Vietnam, literary translations become more and more important which are

a bridge connecting different cultures. This progress also requires literary

translation of high quality, especially from English to Vietnamese and vice

versa. Therefore, more studies of this issue should be implemented. These

studies should touch upon translations from different perspectives,

especially the impacts of the translation on the thesis readers because it is

the readers that are the final and the most important assessors of

translators.

All in all, I would like to significantly contribute to the study of

literary English Vietnamese translation in universities and on the media

through this thesis. In my point of view, this thesis can be regarded as an

useful material; of all people who want to improve thesis literary English

Vietnamese translation skills as well as the quality of their translations.

Hopefully, readers of this thesis can find it useful in their work or at least

see it as a worth reference.

52

REFERENCES

ONLINE DICTIONARIES:

English – Vietnamese dictionaries

1. http://www.saga.vn/dictlist.aspx?f=B

2. http://www.fetp.edu.vn/eDictionary/home.cfm

3. http://tratu.bamboo.com/

4. http://vdict.com/?autotranslation

5. http://www.askoxford.com

6. http://dictionary.reference.com/

7. http://www.investopedia.com/terms/

BOOKS:

1. Al-Qinai, J, (2000). Translation Quality Assessment Strategies,

Parametres and Procedurea. Meta: Translators’ Journal, 45 (3), pp. 497-

519. Retrieved February 5, 2010 from

http://www.erudit.org/revue/meta/2000/v45/n3/001878ar.pdf

2. Baker, Gabriela Saldanha (1998). Routledge Encyclopedia of

Translation Studies. New york: Taylor & Francis Group e-Library,2009.

3. House, J. (1986). A model for translation quality assessment.

Tubingen: TBL- Verlag Nar.

53

4. [Jin, 1991 ] W. Jin. Translation Techniques in the issue of

Accuracy and Efficiency, MCCS-91-208, Computing Research Labo-

ratory, New Mexico State University.

5. Khomeijani Farahani, Aliakbar. (2005). "A Framework for

Translation Evaluation". Translation Studies, 3 (9), 75-87.

6. Newmark, P. (1995). A Textbook of Translation. New York:

Prentice Hall International. Translation equivalence. [PPT file]. College of

Foreign Languages: English Department.

7. Schãffner, C. (1997). From ‘Good’ to ‘Functionally Appropriate’:

Assessing Translation Quality. Current Issues in Languages & Society, 4

(1), pp.1-5.

8. Translation procedures. [PPT file]. College of Foreign

Languages: English Department.

9. Wright, David (2001). “Yan Fu and the Tasks of the Translators”

(p.4) Retrieved April 28, 2006, from www.wsc.uni-

erlangen.de/pdf/wright.pdf

54

LITERARY SOURCES

1. Brown, Dan (2003). The Da Vinci Code. Kent: Bantam Press.

2. Brown, Dan (September, 2005). M t mã Da Vinci (Ð Thu Hà,

Trans.). Hanoi: Culture and Information Publishing House.

3. Rowling, J. K. (2000). Harry Potter (Book 7). London:

Bloomsbury Publishing PLC.

4. Rowling, J. K. (2003). Harry Potter (Quy n 7) (Lý Lan,

Trans.). Ho Chi Minh City: Youth Publishing House.

5. Stephenie Meyer (2003). Twilight. New York Boston: The

international Betseller.

6. Stephenie Meyer (2005). Ch ng V ng (T nh Th y, Trans.).

Ho Chi Minh City: Youth Publishing House.

7. Aoyama Gosho (1994). Detective Conan: Shuichi

Akai, Vermouth, Live Action II, Shogakukan Publishing House.

8. Aoyama Gosho. Thám t l ng danh Conan (2008), Kim

Ð ng Publishing House.

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