The Trouble with Time-3rd Draft

By

Tom Hinc

VTI OF A SWIRLING VORTEX (VFX)

A narrator begins to speak

NARRATOR

Throughout history many great

scientists have shared their

incredible gifts with the world.

Einstein, Darwin, Newton & now the

latest addition...KEVIN.

Kevin’s face appears in the Vortex and then fades away. (CL)

INT. DAY. KEVIN & MARY’S FLAT

A wide camera pans down giving us an overview of the entire

flat. It is fairly tidy, except in one corner there is a Red

telephone box with bolts and wires on the floor, lights

flicker on and off in the phone box. en footsteps can be

heard someone is coming towards the door. It opens and Mary

walks in

The narrator begins to speak again:

NARRATOR

Little did Mary know that this was

the day that Mary’s life would

change forever!

Mary begins to look around, confused as to where the voice

is coming from

NARRATOR

For this was the day that young

Mary would embark upon her greatest

adventure with her handsome, sexy,

intelligent, witty, cool &.....

As soon as Mary hears the word ’handsome’ she walks on over

to a mic amp where she unplugs it and the voice is cut off.

Kevin appears from behind the sofa looking sheepish, the

microphone in hand.

KEVIN

Oh, hello Mary.

2.

VT TITLE SEQUENCE/INTRO SONG- 25 SECONDS (VFX)

Mary is now seated on the sofa paper in hand, she’s looking

for acting auditions. Kevin is on his knees messing around

with bits of junk, nuts, bolts & wires are littered all

around him.

MARY

Ugh, there is nothing out there for

an actress at the moment, nothing.

I’ll end up selling myself on the

internet just to pay rent, not the

life I envisioned for myself.

KEVIN (STILL WORKING)

Nah, with your looks, personality

and calculated maximum chest

capacity I’d say you’re looking at

a three figure sum on a good day.

MARY (LOOKING DISGUSTED)

Thanks for your input Kev, always

appreciated. I’m sure your twisted

knowledge of the people trade knows

no bounds.

Mary put the paper down and looks over to Kevin who is busy

working in the corner, muttering to himself.

MARY

Kevin what exactly are you doing

down there?

Kevin stands up to face Mary looking serious.

KEVIN

Mary, brace yourself for I, Kevin

am about to go down in history.

MARY

For the most amount of Kleenex used

in a lifetime Kev, they don’t

exactly give awards for that.

KEVIN

No, if you would listen, I’m trying

to tell you that I have built....A

TIME MACHINE!

MARY (SARCASTICALLY)

Well that’s great. Be right back

I’m off to fetch someone from the

madhouse.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3.

KEVIN

It’s my ultimate creation. I call

it the TARDIT, stands for Traveling

Around Randomly In Time.

MARY

Why not just call it a TARDIS?

Upon hearing the word ’TARDIS’ Kevin puts his hand over

Mary’s mouth.

KEVIN

Shush. Do you want to get sued?

Kevin looks around suspiciously

KEVIN (LOOKING DIRECTLY TO CAM)

You never know which official BBC

representative may be watching.....

Mary goes for the door, but Kevin Grabs her before she can

go.

KEVIN

No, Mary I’m being serious, I’ve

built a working time machine, why

do you think I took so many days

off work? This thing took a lot of

time and effort.

Mary picks up a Nude Girl Magazine off the side table.

MARY

I can see it took a lot of effort

KEVIN (FLUSTERED, GRABBING IT)

Give me that, its what fuels the

flux capacitor.

MARY

I bet its fueling something.

KEVIN

It really does honest, look this is

the helmic regulator and this is

the ionic buffer.

MARY

This isn’t funny, its just a crappy

old phone box. It’s just sad.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4.

KEVIN

Look if you step inside I’ll prove

it to you.

MARY

Kevin this is the most pathetic

attempt to get close to me since

that time you conveniently lost

your contacts in my underwear draw.

KEVIN

Like that time except this time I’m

not lying to get up close &

personal with your panties. No this

is a real, working time capsule

which I intend to use to better our

fortunes!

Someone begins furiously knocking on the front door. Both

Kevin and Mary look up. Mary goes over to the door & looks

through the peephole.

MARY

Oh crap, it’s Mr Roy!

KEVIN

Bollocks what if he discovers my

time machine!

MARY

Forget your damn time machine we

haven’t paid this month’s rent!

KEVIN

Or the last, these nudey mags don’t

come cheap you know.

MARY

Oh crap crap crap, he’s letting

himself in.

Mr Roy enters the room. He’s a decrepit old man, lots of

white wispy hair and a walking stick in town.

MR.ROY

Ah thought you could hide from me

did you, thought you could escape

old roy ’ere did ya? Well I’ve got

eyes like a fox and a nose like a

bloodhound.

Mr Roy goes up to Kevin and almost sniffs him.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 5.

MR ROY.

I can smell fear on people ya’

know, & you boy, you wreak of it.

MARY

Mr Roy we’re so so sorry about the

rent situation and we promise we’re

going to pay it as soon as we can.

MR.ROY

No, no, no. I’ve had enough of you.

You’ve been nuffin but trouble

since you got ’ere. Nope I want you

out.

KEVIN

But Mr Roy, what if we could say,

get you double your rent by Monday

what would you say then?

Mr. Roy looks interested. He’s so greedy the idea of extra

money is highly appealing to him.

MR.ROY

Double the rent you say? By Monday?

KEVIN

Absolutely. Every penny.

MR. ROY

If I don’t get that money, I’ll

take everything you own, that

pretty red box should fetch a penny

or two.

Mr.Roy gives them a horrid grin before leaving.

MARY

Why the hell did you say that?

We’ll never be able to pay that

money by then, let alone double.

KEVIN

Your forgetting, my plucky young

sidekick, that I now have a time

machine. At least I will have until

he comes back.

We her Mr.Roy’s voice from outside.

MR.ROY

I just realised you’re two months

behind!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 6.

MARY

Sod it, lets go.

They both run into the time machine.

VT OF SWIRLING VORTEX WITH PHONE BOX IN THE CENTER.

INT. DAY. KEVIN & MARY’S FLAT (ONE WEEK INTO THE PAST. ALL

IS UNCHANGED EXCEPT THE MONTH ON THE CALENDAR AND THE MESS

AROUND THE TIME MACHINE IS CLEAR.

Kevin & Mary both step out of the time machine. Kevin looks

impressed with himself, Mary looks unimpressed that they

haven’t moved.

MARY

Hang on, we haven’t gone anywhere?

You lied to me again!

KEVIN

Calm down Mary, I think, you’ll

find we have. We have gone exactly

two weeks into the past.

MARY (LOOKING AT THE CHANGED CALENDAR)

But, how, did we...? Oh my God,

we actually traveled in time, but

why didn’t the phone box move?

KEVIN

Ah, slight technical fault on my

part there. You see the TARDIT can

travel anywhere in time but not

space so, to a simple regular

humanoid such as yourself. It can

go to any time but it has to be in

this spot.

MARY

So why two weeks in the past?

What’s so special about today?

KEVIN

Well nothing but I knew we’d both

be out, don’t fancy meeting myself.

But then again...two Mary’s does

have it’s appeal...

7.

INT. NIGHT. KEVIN AND MARY’S FLAT.

We see a close up of Kevin’s face looking extremely happy.

Then we see a close up of Mary’s face on his left

MARY

Oh Kevin, you’re so handsome how

did I never see it before

We then see a close up of Mary’s face on his right

MARY

It must be so hard for you, being

so clever and all

We see another close up of Kevin and he gives a cheeky wink

too the camera.

INT.DAY. KEVIN AND MARY’S FLAT.

Kevin is daydreaming and Mary is giving him a funny look.

KEVIN (IN A DAY DREAM)

Oh, baby yeh.....

MARY

For God’s sake Kevin why are we

here?

KEVIN (SNAPPING OUT OF THE DREAM)

Well it’s to test the butterfly

effect?

MARY

The what?

KEVIN

The effect where if you went into

the past and killed say a butterfly

it would have the most radical

effect on the future.

Kevin goes over to the desk and looks at the picture frame

KEVIN

So if I were to knock over this

picture frame for example it could

change our future’s monumentally.

I’m hoping that we might get the

winning lottery ticket, or find a

suitcase full of money.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 8.

MARY

But if you did that, couldn’t you

like kill the prime minister or

something?

KEVIN

Would that be such a bad thing?

Anyway no I’ve calculated that if I

stick to our own personal time

stream following the Causal Nexus,

events that we change in this flat

will only have a direct effect on

us.

Kevin then knocks over the picture frame which shatters.

KEVIN

Now to see how our fortunes have

changed!

Kevin and Mary hop back into the TARDIT.

INT. DAY. KEVIN AND MARY’S FLAT.

Kevin and Mary step outside the TARDIT.

MARY

Did it work, has anything changed?

Both Kevin and Mary look around for any signs of change.

Kevin notices a new picture frame and pulls out his wallet.

KEVIN

Unbelievable. The only thing that’s

changed is that new picture frame

and I’m a tenner short. It’s

like I’ve been intergalacticly

mugged, and here I was hoping to be

King or Argentina.

MARY

Well maybe, it’s like the effects

haven’t happened yet. Maybe it

happens like one month in the

future or something?

KEVIN

Remarkably that could prove a valid

theory. Let’s go.

They step back into the time machine. We see a VFX of the

TARDIT flying through the time vortex.

9.

INT. NIGHT. KEVIN AND MARY’S FLAT 1000 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.

THEY HAVE ARRIVED AT A PARTY. KEVIN IS WEARING A SNORKEL

MARY

This future doesn’t look so bad,

and I can’t believe our flat’s

still here? But why in God’s name

are you wearing a snorkel.

KEVIN

I don’t believe it. Busted lied to

me. It’s the year 3000 and no one

lives underwater.

MARY

Well a party’s a party no matter

what century we’re in.

KEVIN (GRABBING HER)

Mary no, we cannot interact with a

futuristic version of our world, we

might learn terrible truths that we

must never know! Change history in

a horrific way, no Mary I forbid

it, We cannot get involved.

We cut to the next scene where Kevin is laying on a sofa

whilst two people chat with him in between. He has a

lampshade on his head. Mary is talking to some guys in the

corner. A girl comes and sits next to Kevin and takes the

lampshade off his head.

SOPHIE

Um this doesn’t belong here.

Fabulous.

KEVIN

Huh, oh thanks.

SOPHIE

You’re kinda cute you know, but you

remind me of someone fabulous? Do I

know you from somewhere?

KEVIN

The chances are highly improbable

given the circumstances of my

arrival.

MARY

So are you guys at college or?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 10.

RANDOM GUY #1

No we both work for the fabulous

data collection agency.

MARY

The what?

RANDOM GUY #2

The data collection agency, we

gather fabulous intel on potential

criminals to the state.

RANDOM GUY #1 (TURNING TO A POSTER ON

THE WALL)

All hail our supreme leader Lord

Clift of the Trychion Galaxy. May

we continue to live under his

oppressive rule until his eventual

expiration date!

RANDOM GUY #1

Hey, what’s with that fabulous

phone box, has that always been

here Sophie?

SOPHIE

No, I don’t know how it got here

actually, maybe the fabulous

landlord installed it?

MARY

Whose you’re landlord?

SOPHIE

This fabulous cyborg called Mr.

Roy. He’s horrid and he’s so strict

on state rules.

MARY

I thought you just said he was

fabulous?

SOPHIE

No that’s just the fabulous law,

what’s wrong with you?

Just then then there is a knock at the door. Sophie goes to

answer it. Standing there is Mr. Roy, wearing an eye patch

and a cape, with him are two men dressed in black.

SOPHIE

It’s the enforcers!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 11.

MR.ROY

Right what have we got here then,

word is we’ve got some youths

mouthing off and not using the F

word and under Section 3 of

Paragraph B of the Clift Act of

2672 all sentences must use include

use of the word ’fabulous’ as

dictated to us by our supreme

leader. All hail Lord Clift.

He points to a poster with a picture of the supreme ruler on

it.

SOPHIE

It was those two, the cute one who

kinda looks like an ancient

relative and the slutty one!

MARY (SHOCKED)

Slutty one?

KEVIN (SHOCKED)

Ancient? I’m in my prime.

KEVIN & MARY (IN DISBELIEF)

Mr Roy?!

MR. ROY

I am designated Roy 2.0 Apple dash

7 gamma, fabulous enforcer of the

state and ruler of the sargon

sector. You are facing the penalty

of death.

MARY

Um, Kevin, not liking the look of

this, back to the TARDIT.

KEVIN

I think so, yeh.

MR ROY.

Oh no, I don’t think so, not so

easily. This box looks like some

sort of traveling device. It’s

clever & deceptive but you’re not

getting away so easily.

KEVIN

Oh, I like it when it’s easy.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 12.

MARY

This is it isn’t it. This is how I

go, stranded in some alien future,

alone and afraid, no way out, will

no heroic man save me!

Mary looks over at Random Guys 1 & 2 who both shake their

heads

MARY

Great, thanks guys. Knew I could

count on you.

KEVIN

Don’t worry Mary, I the unlikeliest

of heroes, will come to the rescue

and save the day!

MARY

Whatever you’re gonna do, do it

fast!

KEVIN (TO MR. ROY)

Stand back! I warn you, I’m armed!

Kevin winds up a toy mouse then sets it off.

MR. ROY

Everyone get back, it looks like a

Vulcaren explosive device to me! We

could all be reduced to atoms!

Everyone runs away and some jump onto the sofa.

KEVIN

Now Mary, make a run for it!

They both run back into the TARDIT as everyone else watches

the mouse.

VFX STING OF SWIRLING VORTEX.

INT. DAY. KEVIN AND MARY’S FLAT. PRESENT DAY.

KEVIN

That’s it. My time traveling days

are over. I refuse to be killed in

a world where there aren’t women

with three breasts.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 13.

MARY

You really loved that song didn’t

you.

Kevin and Mary both sit on the sofa looking disheartened.

KEVIN

All that work, and for what,

nothing.

MARY

I wouldn’t say nothing Kev, I

realised that it’s not all about

money and possessions. That there’s

life beyond ours, something deep

and mystical that we’ll never quite

understand.

KEVIN (LOOKING AT HER SUSPICIOUSLY)

What did you take at that party?

MARY

Dunno these jelly baby things, at

least I hope they were jelly

babies.

Just then a knock at the door.

MR.ROY

Oi, you little scoundrels, where

are you, it’s been over a week and

I’ve had no money! If only there

was some oppressive force I could

report you scum too!

MARY (LOOKS AT KEVIN)

TARDIT?

KEVIN

TARDIT

Both get up and run into the time machine.

VFX OUTRO WITH CREDITS

END.