tmpc leaders training
DESCRIPTION
TRANSCRIPT
Session 1
Introduction & Principles
The TMPC Journey
The Sofa Couple
The Facilitating Couple
Modeling a TMPC Session
Session 2
Prepare Enrich
Modeling an Evening with Engaged Couple
Logistics
Support Couple
Modeling SCAM
Programme Schedule
Principle 1: The best time to start supporting couples is before they marry
Principle 2: Christian principles are relevant to all relationships
Overview
Started at Holy Trinity Brompton by Nicky & Sila Lee in 1985 and now run by other churches around the world
Vision: A course within easy reach of any couple
Aim: to help engaged couples build foundations for a lifelong marriage
Why We Do What We Do
Overview
• No group work
• Most guests attend on recommendation of a friend
• Suitable for Christians & pre-believers
•Can be run by volunteers with support of church leader/ Relationship Central
• Easy to run in a home with a DVD Player or a large venue
Overview
1 introductory session with PREPARE ENRICH
+ 5 Video Sessions
2 meetings with support couple
1 Party-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
Meet TMPC Coupl
eMeet TMPC Coupl
e
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
3.00 3.30 5.30 6.00
Session Timing
Tea Video Sofa Couple
Ice-breaker
3.40
Conduct as a couple
Begin with short icebreaker
Recap previous session
Encourage couples to do homework
Start and stop video
Keep time of exercises
Serve couples snacks during exercise
Facilitate sofa couple session
Role of Facilitator Couple
Sofa Couple Session
“ I like that the course allows us to discuss among ourselves privately. Feels a bit more secure. And that it’s “real”. The sofa couple and support couple really helps.
Sofa Couple SessionWhy
To address issues of local context
Most participants won’t ask questions until the issues are
raised during the interview
To model a relationship based on respect, love and openness
All of the couples…are very open in sharing the highs and lows of their marriage life…
Good examples are demonstrated, e.g. respect
each other when one’s talking. Show the love
languages from time to time.
Wendyguest of TMPC
Sofa Couple SessionWhy
• Between 15-30 minutes
• Facilitator couple prepares sofa couple with a list of questions
•Sofa couple must be flexible to answer any questions that may follow from response
•Questions should be related to issues discussed in the video session
•Sofa couple needs to be comfortable sharing real examples
Sofa Couple SessionHow
• Arrange seating with couples angled towards each other with the male partner sitting on the outside
•Each partner must look for opportunities to praise and compliment the other
•If sharing about a conflict, the “offending” party should start by sharing his/her role . The other party can then share his/her part in the conflict
•Sofa couple must respectfully let the other speak without interrupting. Look at the speaker when he/she is talking
Sofa Couple SessionHow
Modeling a TMPC Session
Session 1
Introduction & Principles
The TMPC Schedule
The Sofa Couple
Modeling a TMPC Session
Session 2
Prepare Enrich
Modeling an Evening with Engaged Couple
Logistics
Support Couple
Modeling SCAM
Programme Schedule
What is PREPARE?
• It is a couple assessment tool from Focus on the Family used for engaged couple.
• It is used as a foundational program for premarital counseling
• Accreditation is needed from Focus on the Family
Why use PREPARE program?
Benefits for the couple
• Helps couple to identify possible area of strengths and growths as a couple
• Encourages couple to discuss problematic issues they typically would avoid till after marriage
Benefits for the administrator
• Provides comprehensive and accurate information of the couple in how they perceive issues in their relationship
• Very quickly identifies the couple strengths, growth areas and how they function together. Timesaver!
What you need
• 2B Pencils
• Erasers
• PREPARE questionnaire
• PREPARE answer sheet
Before you start
• Write the names of the couples individually on the answer sheets IN PENCIL
• This will be translated to a Couple Number to be submitted for the computer report.
• Couple Number ensures confidentiality
PREPARE : Practicalities 1
Before they start, tell the couples:
1. It is not a test
2. There are no right and wrong answers
3. Strictly confidential
4. Do not spend too much time on every question.
5. Understand the sentence construction of each question
6. Only one response per question
7. Try to avoid the response “3” (i.e. undecided)
8. Ensure that every question has an answer. Do not leave any blanks
9. Cannot consult one another as the questions are to be done separately
10. Time frame given : recommended 45mins
PREPARE: Practicalities 2
• For each couple, submit 2 answer sheets and a fee of RM60
• Cheques payable to
“PREPARE-ENRICH MALAYSIA SDN BHD”
and mail to:Prepare Enrich Malaysia6-2,Jalan Bersatu 13/446200 Petaling JayaSelangor
• We encourage someone from your team to go for accreditation
Interpreting the results
1. Background information
2. Personality assessment
3. Item summary
Interpreting the results: Background information - 1
Interpreting the results :Background information - 2
• Gives an overview information of the couple
• Look out for similarities and differences
Interpreting the results:Personality assessment - 1
Interpreting the results:Personality assessment - 2
• Assertiveness - ability to ask what they want from their partner
• Self confidence - feeling good about self and to accomplish what they want in life
• Avoidance - tendency to minimize issues and reluctant to deal with the issues
• Partner dominance - feels partner tries to control them and dominate their life
Interpreting the results : Item summary - 1
Interpreting the results:Item summary - 2
• The positive/negative signs indicates the characteristic of a couple relationship
• The more +ve items a person agrees with, the higher their individual score for the category. And the more satisfied the person is with the particular area
• The more –ve items the person agrees with, the lower their individual score for the category, and the more dissatisfied the person is with the area
Interpreting the results: Item summary - 3
PREPARE - Summary
1. Provides accurate assessment of the couple’s growths and strengths area. PREPARE is one of the tools available. A simpler on line version is COUPLE CHECK UP
2. More effective Support Couple sessions
3. Don’t have to go through all the results – normally pick on top 3 growth and strengths from Item Summary
4. God is the changer of hearts
Overview
1 introductory session with PREPARE ENRICH
+ 5 Video Sessions
2 meetings with support couple
1 Party-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
Meet Engag
ed Couple
Meet Engag
ed Couple
Modeling Meeting
with Engaged Couple
Discussing Results of the Assessment
State Support Couple’s roles • Sounding board• Scenarios• If need be, will push for
actions (not decisions)
Engaged couple to separately list 3 strengths and 3 growth areas of their relationship.
Facilitate discussion of their perspective vs assessment results.
Affirm strengths
Get them to agree on which areas to focus on
Meeting with Engaged Couple
Give couples a model of a real family committed to loving one other in a real setting
Establish personal relationship with couples Pray before couple arrives
Meal with family
Discuss results of “PREPARE”
Meetings with Engaged Couple
Respect privacy with no family member being around
Aim to end on time
Pray before couple arrives
With permission, pray for couple before they leave
Pray for cleansing of home after couple leaves
Logistics
TMPC Party
Couples encouraged to invite family and friends to the party
Prepare couples to share about their experience of TMPC
Held on the same day as the last video session while lessons are still fresh in their minds
Dinner
Sharing by 1 support couple about why
they do what they do
Sharing by each TMPC couple about what they learnt during the course
Introduction of TMPC & support couples for
benefit of guests
Encouragement by support couple to their assigned couple
Running the TMPC Party
TMPC PartySharing by Engaged Couple
Room Setup
Groups of twos
Set seating apart to ensure privacy
during discussions
Play instrumental music during exercise
Place small table for notes & food
Play video off hard drive rather than DVD
Encouraging Mingling Before the Session
Encouraging Mingling Before the Session
Provide name tagsMake introductions
among couples
Place chairs close together
Ensure space is closed and cosy
Publicity
Facebook/Blogspot
Visits to cell groups and camps of young
adults
Publicity blitz among cell leaders
List course on http://
relationshipcentral.org/register-your-course
Church bulletin
Support Couple
Married for at least two years
Attended The Marriage Course
Happy to talk about marriage
Willing to offer hospitality
Support CoupleWho Qualifies
Not perfect but growing in God’s grace
Support CouplesWhy
Most learn about marriage from parents
Good and bad lessons shape our views of marriage
Many don’t have role models of loving & respectful marriages
Model what Christian marriage looks like in practice
Provide role of extended family in a mobile society
A Blog of TMPC Guests
Support Couples
Assignment by - Age- Proximity of homes- Results of PREPARE
Should at least attend first two sessions of the course
Be accountable to other Support Couples
New Support Couples to shadow the more experienced
Support Couple
Accountability Meeting
(SCAM)
TMPC2
TMPC 1
TMPC 3
TMPC 4
TMPC 5
Schedule
TMPC 6
Meet TMPC Coupl
eMeet TMPC Coupl
e
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
SCAM
Check on one another’s marriages
Support Couple Accountability Meeting (SCAM)
Fellowship Pray for one another & for engaged couples
Share ideas on how to help couples through issues
Sort out duties & suggest improvements
Modeling a Support Couple Accountability Meeting