Tucker JensenCaleb Ogg

Tasha BoonJaron Simpson

Alan Evans

Dr. Donley was found dead the night of February 9th between 10 and 11pm.

The autopsy report stated that the death was due to cyanide poisoning. Heavy traces of the poison were found on the doctor’s cocktail glass.

The FBI has identified five suspects. 1. Dr. Austin Newman Powers2. Dr. Lazarus Dangerkitty3. Dr. Red Walrus4. Dr. Tide Sheetburger5. Dr. Kelvin High

The lab where Dr. Donley worked is classified as a top security lab. She had been working with bacterial and viral pathogens. (level 4)

The lab was strewn with broken glass, and the police noticed that several vials and test tubes were missing from the lab, a sure indication of a break-in and robbery.

The FBI and our special investigation team found records of Dr. Donley’s blood type, it is O+. The blood found at the scene was a mix between O+ and B+.

We tested the fingerprints and found them to belong to Dr. Red Walrus.

Lip prints were found on three items of glassware. The lip prints matched with Dr. Donley, Dr. Sandro Music, and Lazarus Danger Kitty.

Two sets of fingerprints were found on Dr. Donley’s incubator and test tubes; one belonging to Dr. Donley, and the other to Dr. One-eye Pete

Dr. Kelvin High’s fingerprints were also present on a pair of goggles in Dr. Donley’s lab.

Other Notes:◦ Dog hair was found on Dr. Donley’s Lab Coat.◦ All of the suspects were working the day of the break-in.

Dr. Powers is part of an exclusive underground cult dedicated to overthrowing Monarch University. He has been heard saying that with Dr. Donley out of the way, the road would be clear to execute manifest destiny. He has been heard saying that the US should still be a colony of Britain! He once owned nine llamas, and likes to eat dry, crushed ramen noodles mixed with extra chunky peanut butter. He previously resided in England as the personal aid for her majesty the Queen, until she discovered his hatred for Hot Cross Buns. For this, he was exiled to the United States. Monarch receives grants each year from her Majesty, and because of this Dr. Powers has always aspired to destroy the institution.

SUSPECT #1

Dr. Dangerkitty works in the lab above Dr. Donley’s. He has always been jealous of her ability to acquire grant monies. He has been overheard saying that if he could only dissect the doctor’s brilliant mind, he could acquire the information to rule the world with his plastic cats. Previous to turning to his science career, Dr. Dangerkitty was the lead singer of a controversial band called “Dangerkitty”. He has been recorded on tape holding conversations with a rack of decorative spoons.

SUSPECT #2

Dr. Walrus is working on a way to create a bacteria-virus hybrid. He has been known to experiment on paramecium, shocking them with electric currents and injecting crawdads with serotonin to create crawdad fight-clubs. The police found a strange stinky brew under his desk. Upon questioning he replied that it “was his medicine!” Several students said that he has always had a grudge against Dr. Donley because she kept the “good” fermentation bacteria for herself. In his free time he breeds peacocks, feeding them a diet consisting solely of moonshine.

SUSPECT #3

Dr. Sheetburger was a spy in his previous career. Currently he claims to be just interested in non-living matter such as rocks and dirt. However, past colleagues said that they thought Sheetburger might be a double agent. This doctor is an enigma to many. Contrary to popular belief, he does not sprinkle Tide brand soap flakes on his egg salad sandwiches.

SUSPECT #4

Dr. High was jealous of Dr. Donley’s popularity and knowledge of string and M theory. He felt he would never live up to Dr. Brian Greene in the eyes of Dr. Donley. If only he could discover the graviton… then gravity wouldn’t get him down, and he would impress Dr. Donley and be on top of the world. He collects icicles from roofs of his colleague’s homes and stores them in a liquid nitrogen cooled container in the trunk of his car at all times.

SUSPECT #5

Our team went and asked the five suspects where they were on the night of February 9th.

Dr. Walrus admitted to being present at Monarch University when the murder was committed.

The DNA samples found at the scene have been compared with uncontaminated samples from each of the suspects.

Through gel electrophoresis, the sample returned intriguing results.

The DNA matched both Dr. Donley, and Suspect #3, Dr. Red Walrus.

Further investigation of the suspect was required and performed.

After considering the physical crime scene evidence, the DNA evidence, and Dr. Red Walrus’ presence at Monarch University on the night of the crime, we decided he was the most likely of the five suspects. He was the only suspect we had gathered solid and suspicious evidence for.

We decided to conduct further investigation of Dr. Walrus eby having a formal interrogation.

Since Dr. Walrus’ DNA was found at the scene of the crime, our special investigation team set off to pursue the suspect.

His story seemed plastic. He stated that he had been in the room collecting laboratory materials that belonged to him. It was at night and the room was dark. He explained the presence of DNA by suggesting that some glass may have broken, and cut his skin, causing loss of blood.

Dr. Donley’s coat had been found with dog hair stuck to it. During Dr. Walrus’ statement, he said that he had a three legged dog.

There are a few problems with Dr. Walrus’ story that lead to further suspicions.

For one, he is the only suspect that admitted to being in Dr. Donley’s lab that night.

Why would he be collecting lab materials that were supposedly his late at night? And not just late at night, but in the dark?

He seemed vary unsure about his own explanation of why his blood was present at the scene of the crime.

We believe that the fight between the two doctors earlier really irritated Dr. Walrus.

Seeking revenge he snuck into Dr. Donley’s lab and put poison in her cocktail glass.

This explanation works perfectly with the evidence found.

During the struggle between the two earlier that evening, Dr. Walrus suffered a cut, leaving blood at the scene of the crime.

This story also explains Dr. Donley’s death and the heavy traces of cyanide in her cocktail glass.

Some dog hair from Dr. Walrus’ three legged dog was found on Dr. Donley’s lab coat. This wound indicate close contact between the two, which would have occurred during the struggle.

Their quarrel also explains the broken glass. He openly admitted to our investigation team that

he had a grudge against her.

DID DR. WALRUS DO IT?

YES!

GUILTY!