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Quiz #1Description WritingPrewrite & Plan

FragmentsRun-onsSentence VarietyEnglish 100BC



Answer the following on a separatesheet of paperGroup 1

What is description?

Why record sense impressions in words?

Group 2

How do objective and subjective description differ?

What do you include or exclude from a description?

Group 3

How do you describe an object or a place?

How do you describe a person?

Group 4

How do you organize a description?

How do you revise a description?



Writing Description

What is description?

records and re-creates senseimpressions by translating them intowords



Writing DescriptionWhy record sense impressions in words?

descriptions in words should never attempt tocapture a photographic reality

writer evokes feelings, senses, memories andemotions

writer of description records what was seen

as important in the scene two distinct advantages of translating sense

impressions into words

isolates most important aspects of theexperience, ruling out anything else thatmight distract a reader’s attention

translating into words makes experiencesmore permanent (sensory impressions decayin seconds)



Writing Description

How do objective and subjective

description differ?

objective

record details without making any personal

evaluation or reaction few descriptions outside of science or

technical writing achieve entirely

subjective

free to interpret details for reader

uses figurative language



Writing Description

What do you include or exclude from a

description?

cannot record every detail about a person,object, place, or landscape

Answer - what am I trying to describe andwhy?

remain focused on purpose

- solely to record facts

- evoke an atmosphere

- support subjective purposes



Writing

How do you describe and object or a place?

be fresh and perceptive

keep details and arrangement relevant and

purposeful



Writing

How do you describe a person?

avoid excessive descriptions of physicalattributes

decide what it is about the person that isworth describing

character best revealed through actions,speech, and what character considersimportant



Writing

How do you organize a description?

spatial (description moves as a camera would)- front to back

- side to side

- outside to inside

- top to bottom

- general to specific

order of importance

- Most important to least

- Least important to most

chronological order



Revising

How do you revise a description?

use precise, vivid nouns and verbs

- avoid using too many adjectives and adverbs

use figurative language sparingly

- point of description is not to displaycleverness as a writer

- avoid clichés

keep focused- don’t attempt to describe everything aboutperson, scene, object



Sensory List

Sight Sound Smell Touch Taste

1. Black 1. Thingscrashing

1. Litter 1. Soft 1.

2.0Yelloweyes

2. Cooing 2. Garbage 2. Sticky 2.

3. Cobwebs 3. Purring 3. Dryer

sheets

3. Wiry 3.

4. Dandruff 4. Scratching 4. Tuna 4. Dirty 4.

5. Feathers 5. Whining 5. Grass 5. Grainy(he’s alicker)

5.



Answer the questions

What are you trying to describe and why?

I am trying to describe my cat Niles because he is quiteeccentric.

What is the most vivid and important to you about this

topic?

The most important and vivid aspect about Niles is hisability to break and enter into just about anything.



Writing a topic sentence

What is most vivid and important to meabout this topic is...

Topic – A vandalized car

Statement – The vandalized car onthe side of the highway was battered.

Descriptive topic sentence – The shellof a car on the side of the road wasdented all over, apparently from a bator club, and surrounded by brokenglass.



Planning

I. Topic Sentence (gives main impression)

II. Body

A. First example to support main impression

1. detail to create picture of first example

2. detail to create picture of first example

B. Second example to support main impression

1. detail to create picture of second example

2. detail to create picture of second example

B. Third example to support main impression

1. detail to create picture of third example

2. detail to create picture of third example

III. Concluding Sentence (reminds readers of main impression



Eng 100BCFragments



Fragments

A sentence is a group of words that has three

elements:

Subject

Verb

And a Complete thought

A fragment seems to be a complete sentence butit lacks either a

Subject

Verb

Or a complete thought.



Fragments

What are the two basic ways to correct sentencefragments?

Add what is missing (subject, verb, or both)

Attach fragment to sentence before or after it



Fragments

What are the five trouble spots that signalpossible fragments?

A word group that begins with a(n)

Preposition



Spotting Fragments

A word group that begins with a preposition

I pounded as hard as I could. Against thedoor.

*correct by joining*

I pounded as hard as I could against the door.



Spotting Fragments



Preposition

Dependent word



Spotting Fragments

A word group that begins with a dependent word

Since I moved. I have eaten out every day.

Common Dependent words: after, although, as/as

if/ as though, because, before, how, once,since, that, unless, while, until, etc.

*Correct by joining*

Since moving, I have eaten out every day.



Spotting Fragments



Preposition

Dependent word

“-ing” verb form



Spotting Fragments

A word group that begins with an “-ing” form verb

I ran as fast as I could. Hoping to get there on time.

*Correct by joining*I was running as fast as I could, hoping to get there on

time.

*correct by adding missing elements*

I was running as fast as I could. I was still hoping to getthere on time.



Spotting Fragments



Preposition

Dependent word


“to” and a verb



Spotting Fragments

A word group that begins with “to” and a verb

Cheri got underneath the car. To change the oil.


Cheri got underneath the car to change the oil.

To change the oil, Cheri got underneath the car.

*correct by adding elements*

Cheri got underneath the car. She needed to changethe oil.



Spotting Fragments



Preposition

Dependent word


“to” and a verb

an example or explanation



Spotting Fragments

Word groups that are examples or explanations

Freecycle.com recycles usable items. Such asclothing.


Freecycle.com recycles usable items such asclothing.



Ex. 3.1 Sentence Fragments

1. There are older and more valuablemanuscripts. Than the Voynich.

There are older and more valuable manuscriptsthan the Voynich.

2. However, there is none more mysterious. TheVoynich still puzzling scholars many yearsafter its discovery.

However, there is none more mysterious. The

Voynich is still puzzling scholars many yearsafter its discovery.




3. This manuscript was written in a code. So farunable to solve it.

This manuscript was written in a code. So far noone has been able to solve it.

4. Because the origins of the manuscript areunclear; the puzzle is doubly difficult.

Because the origins of the manuscript areunclear, the puzzle is doubly difficult.




7. Handwriting specialists can only guess at its

age. It may date back to the Middle Ages.

correct

8. The writing does not resemble. Any letters

that can be traced to a known alphabet.The writing does not resemble any letters that

can be traced to a known alphabet.




9. The manuscript which contains manybeautiful illustrations. Of plants, people, andother seemingly unrelated images.

The manuscript contains many beautifulillustrations. It depicts plants, people, andother seemingly unrelated images.




10. Because the Voynich manuscript is such an

intriguing mystery. That some scholars mightactually be disappointed to learn all of itssecrets.

The Voynich manuscript is such an intriguing

mystery that some scholars might actually bedisappointed to learn all of its secrets.



Eng 100

Run-onsStudents will be able toIndentify and correct run-on

sentences.



Run-Ons

1. What’s another name for a sentence?

Independent clause

2. What term describes two completesentences joined without any punctuation?

Fused sentence

All of us went to the movies Jack and Joan didnot stay long.



Run-Ons

4. What are the five ways to correct run-ons?Add a period

All of us went to the movies. Jack and Joan didnot stay long.

Add a semicolon

All of us went to the movies; Jack and Joan didnot stay long.

Add a semicolon, a conjunctive adverb, and acomma

All of us went to the movies; however, Jackand Joan did not stay long.



Run-Ons

4. What are the five ways to correct run-ons?

Add a comma and a coordinating conjunction

All of us went to the movies, but Jack and Joan

did not stay long.Add a dependent word

Although all of us went to the movies, Jack andJoan did not stay long.



Ex. 4.1 Run-On Sentences

1. Mae West began as a child star the career of“Baby Mae” took off when she performed at alocal Brooklyn theater’s amateur night.

Mae West began as a child star. The career of

“Baby Mae” took off when she performed at alocal Brooklyn theater’s amateur night.

2. At the age of nineteen, West beganperforming on Broadway she shocked

audiences in 1911.

At the age of nineteen, West began performingon Broadway; she shocked audiences in 1911.




3. The voluptuous West became known for hersuggestive clothing, even more famous wereher suggestive wisecracks.

The voluptuous West became known for hersuggestive clothing and even more famous for

her suggestive wisecracks.4. Attending black jazz clubs had introduced her

to a new dance movement she performed this“shimmy” on Broadway, and it became a

trademark for her.Attending black jazz clubs had introduced her to

a new dance movement. She performed this“shimmy” on Broadway, and it became a

trademark for her.




5. West was not satisfied for long with thetheatrical roles she was offered writing herown plays was one way to find good parts.

West was not satisfied for long with the

theatrical roles she was offered; writing herown plays was one way to find good parts.

6. In 1925, she wrote a play called Sex , noproducer she contacted would bring it to the

stage.In 1925, she wrote a play called Sex , but no

producer she contacted would bring it to thestage.




7. The following year, West produced the play

herself, advertisements for Sex were banned.The following year, when West produced the

play herself, advertisements for Sex werebanned.

8. Nevertheless, the show played for ninemonths until it was closed down by the Societyfor the Suppression of Vice, West was arrestedand spent eight days in jail.

Nevertheless, the show played for nine monthsuntil it was closed down by the Society for theSuppression of Vice. West was arrested andspent eight days in jail.




9. In the 1930s and 1940s, Mae West took her naughtyhumor to Hollywood, while there she made a series ofhit films and often wrote her own screenplays.

In the 1930s and 1940s, Mae West took her naughty

humor to Hollywood. While there she made a series ofhit films and often wrote her own screenplays.

10. West made her final films in the 1970s by that time,Americans found her less scandalous, but her name wasstill a household word.

West made her final films in the 1970s. By that timeAmericans found her less scandalous, but her name wasstill a household word.



Sentence Variety

P idi S t V i t



Providing Sentence Variety

Use a variety of sentence structures

Move adverbial modifiers A few drops of sap eventually began

to trickle into the bucket.

Eventually a few drops of sap beganto trickle into the bucket.

Move adjectives and participial phrases

Edward, dejected and withdrawn,nearly gave up his search for a job.

Dejected and withdrawn, Edward

nearly gave up his search for a job.




Use a variety of sentence structures

Simple - A sentence with one independent clause and nodependent clauses

My aunt enjoys eating cake.

Compound - A sentence with multiple independent clauses but nodependent clauses.

The clown frightened the little girl, and she ran off screaming.

Complex - A sentence with one independent clause and at leastone dependent clause.

After Mary added up all the sales, she discovered that the

lemonade stand was 32 cents short.

Compound-complex - A sentence with multiple independentclauses and at least one dependent clause.

Although I like to go camping, I haven't had the time to golately, and I haven't found anyone to go with.




Try inverting sentence occasionally

A refrigerated case of mouthwatering cheeses isopposite the produce section; a friendly attendant willcut off just the amount you want.

Opposite the produce section is a refrigerated case ofmouthwatering cheeses; a friendly attendant will cut off

just the amount you want.

Huge lavender hearts outlined in bright white lights

were set at the top two corners of the stage. Set at the top two corners of the stage were huge

lavender hearts outlined in bright white lights.

For next week



For next week...

Rough draft of either narrative ORdescription

(suggested) Sentence outlines of narrative &description

Read chapter about compare/contrastRead in glossary definitions of conclusion

and introductions

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