ua99/6/2 buwky january

12
Western Kentucky University TopSCHOLAR® WKU Archives Records WKU Archives 1-1942 UA99/6/2 BUWKY January Bowling Green Business University Follow this and additional works at: hp://digitalcommons.wku.edu/dlsc_ua_records is Magazine is brought to you for free and open access by TopSCHOLAR®. It has been accepted for inclusion in WKU Archives Records by an authorized administrator of TopSCHOLAR®. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Recommended Citation Bowling Green Business University, "UA99/6/2 BUWKY January" (1942). WKU Archives Records. Paper 119. hp://digitalcommons.wku.edu/dlsc_ua_records/119

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Western Kentucky UniversityTopSCHOLAR®

WKU Archives Records WKU Archives

1-1942

UA99/6/2 BUWKY JanuaryBowling Green Business University

Follow this and additional works at: http://digitalcommons.wku.edu/dlsc_ua_records

This Magazine is brought to you for free and open access by TopSCHOLAR®. It has been accepted for inclusion in WKU Archives Records by anauthorized administrator of TopSCHOLAR®. For more information, please contact [email protected].

Recommended CitationBowling Green Business University, "UA99/6/2 BUWKY January" (1942). WKU Archives Records. Paper 119.http://digitalcommons.wku.edu/dlsc_ua_records/119

JAN. B U W K Y 1942

WAR ISSUE Vol. VII No. V

The smoke of slower-burning Camels contains

than the average of the 4 other larg­est-seIling brands tested- less than a ny of them-according to indepen­dent scientific tests of the smoke it­self! The smoke's the thing!

CAMEL THE CIGARETTE OF

COSTLIER TOBACCOS

HE

Doubles • In

Danger! STUNT ACE MALCOLM POPE, WHO DOUBLES

FOR THE STARS, CRASHED THE MOVIES AT 60 MILES AN HOUR

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE

A CAMEL. SWELL FLAVOR_AND

THEy'RE MILDER BY FAR,WITH

LESS NICOTINE IN THE SMOKE!

BY BURNING 25% SLOW ER than the aver­age o f the 4 o th er larges t-selling brands tested - slower than any of them - Camels also g ive you a smoking plus equal, on the average, to

H. .I. Rl'ynolds Tobarco Company , W in:iton-Salem. XOrlh Carolina 5 EXTRA SMOKES PER PACK!

J

- BUWKY-

BUWKY BITS By "The W alr us"

Greetings! January always brings with it

a riot of coldness, snow, and that "let down" feeling. A lot has happened since I last sat down and tried to tell you a few things so I will think up the things and put them down before you in no certain order. BIG BLOW -OUT!

That is about the best words I can think to describe the B. U. X'mas party. Gosh, it seems like ancient history to be writing about it now. But the memory lingers on! Ah! Yes! About 1,000 students of B. U. and those from Western who were lucky enough to get in really enjoyed them­selves. And girls-

Let's take 30 seconds off and think about those glamorous phantoms of delight that we saw at that party. A-h-h-h! .

There were 62 gir Is from 94 states that took part-at least that's what the authorities said.

The winner was Betsy Buckner, a real beauty and a real swell person, and that is what really counts. She hails from the me­tropolis of the south, Paris, Ky.

Close behind here were Gladys Potts and Peggy Goodwin. And then there were Billie Bowman, Ann Childs, Nancy Ballantine, and -Ah Shucks! I could go on all day naming those raving beau­ties.

And now that the war is here it looks like we are going to have to say good-bye to a lot of our boys. Gosh! I certainly hate to see them go because I'm next.

In my last column I mentioned Julian Goodman's ability as a writer. I said that he would go places. Wonder what he's wait­ing for?

Back from the Christmas holi­days came Sue Tapp with the news that she is married. Con­gratulations!

And down at the B. U. comes the news that Will Johns has ven­tured out onto the sea of matri­mony. Best of luck! Louise Shel­by says that she is practically e:tgaged. Such news, such news --The holidays are full of such

tidings.

I really don't see why · I write this column so devotedly and reg­ularly. I could write anything in this r:pace and I doubt that you v.ould know the difference. (This applies only to the few of you who can read. In fact I think I shall. Sing a song of six pence pockel full of rye. Halleluia! I'm a bum, etc. And so I write on into the night and further down the page.

So the draft, like Christmas, death, taxes, and the poor, is with us. So what? So this: I admit it would be probably giggling in thE: gloom but why not enjoy life while we can? (That's a ghastly statement. ) And why not laugh? I for one shall go around ignoring the draft until they creep up be­hind me and snatch me. Laugh and the world laughs with you

. . and that goes for the draft.

And Eddie Buchser comes back from Tell City full of tall tales about the basketball teams of the southern part of Indiana.

When the lights went out a

B U W K Y VOL. 6, NO.5 Whole No. LVII

TOM C. VENABLE Managing Editor

• • • The Buwky is published each month

(ten times) during the college year ex­cept July and August, in the interest of the students of the Bowling Green (B) usiness (U) niversity and (W) estern (K )entuck (y) State Teachers College, Bowling Green, Kentucky. Editorial and advertising offices, 1023 College street, Bowling Green, Kentucky. All business communications and manuscripts, draw­ings, items, etc., should be sent to this address.

Foreign subscriptions one dollar per year.

Page One

couple of weeks ago, things start­ed happening down at the Inn. Well! I wasn't there but what I heard is plenty good.

Going back to ancient history, that is-before the holidays, some­one told me that on one of those good-bye trains that were so much fun, Bill Culbertson really let himself go and kissed everybody. including the porter.

I hear that Beatrice Wallace and Teddy Cockshot have been married. If I hear about many more marriages this column is go­inl5 to sound like a society column.

Again the Western music de­p::trtment has come through with a splendid and beautiful program. The band concert the other Sun­day will long be remembered by many of us.

About the most pleasant thing jn the world is a pleasant sur­prise. And that is just what the Western basketball team has turned out to be. Most of us were led to believe that Western was going to have a very poor bas­ketball squad this year. The team's winnings have proved to be one of the most enjoyable things of the year. Congratula­tions to Coach Ed Diddle and his boys. Of course the .main part of the schedule is yet to be played, but I believe that the team will continue to make us proud of it.

Over a month has passed since the military ball. This column has made no comment on the occasion thus far, however, and it's about time that we did. The O. C. really gave us a swell dance_ And of course this little bit would be incomplete without the men­tion of the new military queen_ To Mary Ella Riddle, the loveliest e,f the lovely, goes this title for 1942.

o lis N 2 D 10 R E tries 2 sing 2 high N F E doesn't stop it I L sock M N D 1. (Crazy, ain't it?)

This issue of BUWKY has been called the WAR ISSUE. Of course it is all in fun. In the more serious line of thinking, this war is no joke. It is a stark, horrible reality. It is going to take your efforts and mine to bring this war to a successful termination. We

Page Two

must keep our wits about us and we must retain our faith both in God and in our country. It is im­portant too that we maintain our sense of humor. This is the reason for this special WAR ISSUE. I, for one, sincerely hope that we, the American people will keep our de­sirable characteristics and will throw off our undesirable char­acteristics in the dark hours that lie ahead. I hope that we will come out of this war a cleaner, better people, and a victorious people.

This is about all I have to tell you this time, so I will close by reminding you to save your pen­nies to buy defense stamps and Remember P earl Harbor.

-'Bye.

"Is your handsome hubby the sensible type?"

"No, he's the jealous, suspicious type."

"Hmm. Well, that's what I call sensible in your case, dearie."

Pete: "My wife doesn't under­stand me, does yours?"

John: "I don't know. I've never even heard her mention your name."

-BUWKY-----------------------------------

"Did you test this stuff, Joe?" "Yeh, I poured some in the ash

tray to burn it." "Did it burn green?" "I don' ~ know-I can't find the

ash-tray."

Freshman: "Yeah, I know she's awful smart because every time I ask her fo ra date, she has to study."

Teacher: "William, what are the two genders?"

William: "Masculine and fem­mme. The feminine are divided into frigid and torrid, the mascu­line into temperate and intemper­ate."

"What's the charge, officer?" "Fragrancy, sire. He's been

drinking perfume."

B. U. STUDENTS, WHY DELAY?

Have your portrait made for the TOWERS and avoid the custom­ary last-minute rush.

- Photo by Quinn

And you at Western. Remember that a "Portrait With Appeal" will make a Perfect Valentine Gift.

QUINN PHOTO SERVICE

W19 ¥.. State Street Phone 2041

~'r---I ---

COPR. 1942 BY NEA SERVICE, INC. T. M. REG. U. S. PAT. OFF.. 1-3

"He says your three minutes are up!" 'How do you like this new helmet I designed, General?'

r

-BUWKY- Page Three

WESTERN INVADED Editor's Note: This is not the

truth. But in such times as these, there is no telling what will hap­pen. So if, at some time in the fu­ture you turn on your radio and get these reports-don's be sur­prised.

9:00 A. M. Advanced scouts of the invading troops seen coming in via Louisville road. Stop at Green Gables. Invaders send scouts to look for advanced scouts.

9:30 A. M. Seen at the head of a long column of troops is a man that looks like Chaplin. One of the ~'in-the-know" persons dis­covers it is Adolph Hitler:

9:35 A. M. Invasion is a cer­tainty. Goal Post claimed to be the best place of refuge. O! Goody! We don't have to get up and move.

9:50 A. M. A large dirigible moored at the Western water tow­er and another large dirigible gets out of it. At first he is taken for a chapel speaker, later it is dis­covered that it is B. Mussolini. It is rumored that he is a fifth col­umnist.

10:30 A. M. Invading forces reach the campus.

10:35 A. M. Bookstore goes into immediate action-posts the fol­lowing bulletin:

WELCOME INVADERS New and used books for sale! You can't go to colloge without

the proper books! No stoop! No squat! No squint! (Now where did that come from?)

11:00 Dean Grise issues the fol­lowing statement:

"N ow is the time for a firm stand! No classes will be dis­missed because of the invasion. So there!"

11:10 Thirty invaders have marched into an English Litera­ture class.

12:00 Thirty invaders given up as lost.

12:30 R. O. T. C. units called into action. Dismissed immediate­ly upon the discovery that one freshman is wearing black shoes.

12:35 One hundred invaders try to get dinner at the University Inn. Within thirty minutes all have been suffocated. The Black Hole of Calcutta has been avenged!

1:00 Congress Debating Club invites Hitler and Goebbels to de­bate on "Resolve that Western should have a department of Philosophy. "

2:00 Thirteen Club has special meeting and decides to pledge three of the invaders.

2:30 Mr. Canon announces that 500 invaders have registered in order to obtain the elementary teacher's certificate.

3:00 The Talisman staff an­nounces that all invaders have their picture made before Tues­day.

3:05 Miss Susie issues the fol­lowing statement:

"Girls will not be allowed to have dates with invaders without writ ten permission from parents. Remember, girls, not only your reputation but the reputation of Western, is at stake."

4:30 Great counter-offensive is launched-Eddie Buchser goes into action.

4:50 A scouting party enters the Rock . House. Hitler announces these ·men as hopelessly lost.

5:00 Hitler enters library and examines it. He says, "The best concentration camp I've ever seen -concentration-Get it?

" .

6:00-Three hundred invaders die after eating at the dorm. Hit­ler blames it on the food, but the school authorities say it is the same that the students have been eating all year.

7:00 As a last resort, Miss Susie declares an out night. Girls speed from dorms with loud cries of "Men! Men! Millions of men!"

10:00 Invaders in full retreat! When questioned, Der Fuehrer says, "I'm going back to Germany --I never have seen such a place -Give it back to the Indians!"

"Do you drink beer?" "No, I chew it."

Attractive but easy to manage hairstyles were created for people like you . . . who have to push curls in place and be ready to go in five minutes flat. Ask for our Simplicity Wave. It involves all the waves and curls you want but leaves out the fussiness .

Alleyne's Beauty Shoppe .

410~ Tenth St. Phone 48-W Over Buel Rogers, Inc.

nORmRns CALLING YOUR ATTENTION TO A

TREMENDOUS ASSORTMENT OF

SPORTS WEAR. "The Store All Women Know"

lilt will pay you to visit this store."

Page Four

PROVERBS A pebble, in a state of circum­

volution, acquires no lichens. Feathered bipeds of similar

plumage will live gregariously. Why should the smaller domes­

tic utensils accuse the larger of nigritude?

Too great a number of culinary assistants may impair the flavor of the consomme.

The capital of the papal state was not constructed in a diurnal revolution of the globe.

Our American history prof. in­formed us of a very amusing inci­dent in the life of our great eman­cipator. The prof. said that when Lincoln proposed marriage he re-

. marked to his sweetheart: "Marry me darling, and I'll be your slave for life."

"Light house no good for flog," says Chinaman. "Lighthouse he shine, whisle he blow, flog bell he ring, and flog he come just the same. No glood."

-BUWKY-

The mother of a Kentucky mountaineer family was packing her scant belongings in prepara­tion to leaving the old homestead. A son lumbered into the room.

"Where ya goin', maw?" he ask­ed.

"Your paw traded me to our neighbor for a horse."

"Wal, I allus said paw was a good business man."

First Deaf Man (to Judge): "Your honor, this man owes me a grocery bill amounting to $11.50 and he refuses to pay it.

Second Deaf Man: "That's a lie, Judge, my dog didn't bite him."

Deaf Judge: "Well, there is hon­or on both sides, but one of you two gentlemen really should sup­port your mother."

Traveler: "What's the use of having a time-table if your trains don't run according to it?"

Porter: "Now you're all excited. How could you tell they was run­nin' late if you didn't have a time­table?"

Young Co-ed: "Oh, dad, I've just discovered that the girl who sits next to me in Bio. has a hat ex­actly like mine."

Father: "So I suppose you want me to buy you a new one?"

Coed: "Well, darling, that would be cheaper than changing schools."

Beity Bowler Says:

"Your opponent's trouble Starts when you double"

BROWNING'S OWLAWAY

Between State and College on 10th

Spectators Cordially Invited

DURBIN'S Department Store

QUALITY AT A SAVING

- -------

COPR. 1941 BY HEA SERVICE, IHC. T . M. REG. U. S. PAT. OFF. //-2

"Licutenant-I want La rcport a case of sabotage!" ''They insisted on it!"

-BUWKY-

How To Avoid The Draft " For the benefit of those slack-

ers who are going to try to avoid the draft which will soon take us all anyhow, we are proud that we can make the following sugges­tions:

1. Walk into the examining room with glasses on. When the glasses are removed, start shouting, "Who turned out the lights?"

2. Cut off or break one or two legs.

3. Take a banana boat to South America.

4. Shut the door. (Get it?) 5. Drown. 6. Develop some malignant dis­

ease- Recommended are tubercu­losis, leprosy, German measles, or cancer.

7. Have a child. 8. Go blind. 9. Make munitions. 10. Enlist. (This is the only sure

way.) If none of these suggestions

seem practical to you, we suggest you fill in the following blank and ~end it to us. If you are drafted we will phone F . D. R. and see if we can't make things more com­fortable for you. Name .... . ..... . . . . .... ... .... . (If no name please print legibly) Address ...... .. .. . ... . . . .. . ... . . (West of the Mississippi, 10 cents extra) Color-

Black . . .... .. ... . .. . . .. . ..... . Pale yellow .............. . . . . . Plenty tan . . . .. ...... ... . .. . . . Caret .. . ....... . ... . . .. ..... . . Rosy caret ................... . Bromo-Seltzer ... . . . . . . . ...... .

Experience . .. .... . .... . ..... . . . (Give good clean experience)

Do you own-An automobile .............. . Two automobiles .......... . .. . More automobiles than anyone

A horse (if married give horse's middle initial) .... .. ........... .

One complete set Union steel drills No. 37A-83 .... . ..... ... . . Age .......... . . . .. . . ..... ... . . .

(WARNING: Age must check with age at birth, or Oh! Boy!) Height . . .. . . .. ..... . . . . ... .... . Weight . . .. . .. . . . .. . ..... . . . . . . .

Do you drink alcoholic beverages? (Check one) yes ..... . . .. .... .. . .. . .... . .. . .

How much? Plenty ... .... .. .... ... . .. .... . A quart a day .. . ............ . Two quarts . ....... . .... . . . . . . Three ... . ....... ... .......... . Like a blotter ........ . . . .. .. . Stomach ulcers ........ . . ... . .

Do you enjoy camping out? .... . . 'Way out? ....... . ............. . 'Way 'way out? . .... . .. ~ ...... . Wha service do you prefer?

Horse Guards .... .. . . . .. ... . . . Cold Steam Guards .. .. . ..... . Ice Cold Steam Guards . . ... .. . Home Guards . ....... . . . .... . Tank Corps . . .. .. . . .. . .... .. . . Bank Corps ................ . . . Dank Corps . ...... . . ..... .... . Mold .... . .. . . ... . .. . ...... . .. .

Do you understand-The rifle . ..... . .. . .. . .. . .... . . The sporting rifle .. . . . .. .. ... . Sporting . . . .. ..... . .. .. .. . . . . .

Check any of the following dis­eases you have had-

Sniffles ...... . .. . .. . ...... . .. . Bad sniffles ....... .. .. . . ... . . Very bad sniffles ... . . ... . . .. . . G--n Measles .. ... .... .. ... . Labistaxia ..... .... .. . ... . ... . Syph-Oops!

Are you allergic to any of the following:

Water . . . ... ... ... .. . .. .. .. . . . Water Water One complete set Union steel

drills No. 37A-83 .. : ...... .... .. Designate branch of army training desired-

Shining brass ............ . ... . Cutting brass .. ...... . . . .. ... . Shining shoes . ............... . Peeling potatoes .... .. .. . .. .. . Making beds . .. .... . ....... . . . Shooting dice ........... . .... .

Please check deformities (if any): Eyes Nose Scale Height Club feet No

feet One complete set, etc.

"A short cheer for Savabasi,; glievsky-and let's make hilY' Idale l' L1" c.

.'

Page Five

PUNGENT PIPE PUTS PA IN PICKLE

-but he's out of the dog hotlse now!

LOOKS LIKE THE FINISH! One wallop and that smelly old briar will be no m ore! ,"Vhat's the neighbor saying? "Switch to a mild tobacco like Sir Walter."

LOOKS LIKE THE START of a happy ending. Ma's in love with Sir Walter's mellow fragrance. And Pa's delighted with the cool, rich flavor of this burley blend.

THE UNIVERSITY INN

"Just Around the Corner from the B. U ."

I

..

P age Six

Dentistry "What did your wife say when

you came home soused last night?"

"She never said a word. And I was going to have these two teeth taken out anyhow."

The lament of the professional football manager: "How can we put out good teams when the col­leges can pay twice the money that we can?"

A traffic expert in New York, in speaking of traffic jams abroad, says that the London drivers and chauffeurs enliven many occasions by their wit and sarcasm. One London driver drew up, when he saw a pedestrian directly in his W.:1Y, and he leaned over and very politely inquired : "I say, sir, may I awsk what are your plans?"

Thrii'o , a wonderful virtue in an­cestors.

A lady we know walked ou t on her husband because he couldn't stand the way she talked. Now she's gone home to mutter.

Customer: "Waiter, I'm so hun­gry I could eat a horse."

Waiter: "You couldn't have come to a better place, sir."

A little woman is a dangerous thing.

- BUWKY-

Mike O'Shaw was among the group of freshmen taking Astron­omy. The first meeting of the class was held in the orbservation tow­er late one evening. When the class had been accounted for, the professor went to a telescope and began to make an observation. Just then a star fell. Mike gasped. "Begorra, that was a fine shot, sir," he said, with great admira­tion. "Why, ye hardly had time to take aim at it."

Co-ed: "l :d like to see the cap­tain of thj~ ship."

Steward: "He's forward, miss." Co-ed: "That's all right, this is a

pleasure t rip."

Resolved: That the only thing that comes to him who waits is whiskers.

A famous Negro died down South and fellow Negroes from miles around came to pay their respects to him. The melodious wailing that accompanied this ceremony attracted the attention of a passerby-white man who couldn't resist the temptation to find out exactly what was going on. He was just about to enter the house of the deceased when he noticed a little colored boy posted right at the edge of the door. "Why don't you go inside?" the white man asked.

"Ah can't go inside," came the reply. "Ah is the crepe."

Freshman (eagerly): "Can you mggest something in the way of a good time?"

Junior (disconsolately): "The Dean."

A Sure Enough Treat Awaits You At

THE MIDGET KITCHEN Short Order Specialist

Every Item On Our Menu Wi" Give You A Genuine Taste Thrill

Between State and College on 11th

SUPPL~ ROOM

COMPA .... ." A

'~---------COPR. 1941 BY HEA SERVICE, IHC. T . M. REG. U. S. PAT. OFf.

'1' the F lorCldor!l "Lieutenant-I want to report a case of sabl .... "Sell yuu a gU<Hi watch dog. Mister?"

>

Picking Up The Pieces

By Hobson Sinclair War and music. That is a

strange angle, but look at it this way. America's first line of civilian defense is morale. Music can help to keep up this neces­Gary morale, so a hand to our men of music.

Get this record! If you don't have a phonograph you will want it anyway. It is "PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT'S ADDRESS TO THE CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES," the same ad­dress you listened to Monday, 11:30 o'clock, December 8, 1941. (Victor 27734) .

"REMEMBER PEARL HAR­BOR." You have heard this battle cry of democracy on the radio, read it in your newspaper, and now it is presented to you on wax

YOUR FACE IS OUR BUSINESS

Year of experience have made us adept at catching these all important touches with our camera.

Franklin's Studio 9301/2 State St. Phone 212

-BUWKY-

as a stirring march. Sammy Kay takes the honor of being the first to record and to present it to you. Don't forget Kay, and re­member Pearl Harbor. Backed by "DEAR MOM"-a sweet bal­lad about a slightly homesick lad in Army Camp-Kay pulls a nat­ural. (Victor 27738).

:;: * Here is news! That lovely little

bit of musical genius, HELEN O'CONNELL is back with Jimmy Dorsey. Helen starts her second semester with Dorsey singing "I GOT IT BAD (and that ain't good)", but with Helen controlling the vocal, it IS good. Reverse recording is "THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER," vocal honors going to Sir Bob Eberly. (Decca 4103).

Alvino Rey plays, Yvonne King sings that saucy bit from Para­mount's "Sweater Girl," "I SAID NO." The dainty and suggestive manner she vocalizes it in is sim­pJy wonderful. Bill Schallen and Skeds Hefurt take over the "B" side for a rollicking interpreta­tion of "DEEP .IN THE HEART OF TEXAS." (Bluebird 11391).

:;: ::: >::

Woodie Herman suggests, "TIS AUTUMN," and vocalizes the same in that "Herman la delight­ful manner." Co-starred are Car­olyn Grey and ensemble. The revolving render from the reverse is "I GUESS I'LL BE ON MY WAY," and Woodie gets under way, clarinet and all. (Decca 4095) .

:;: :;: :::

. Glenn Miller in typical top­notch style does "A STRING OF PEARLS," a push and beat num­ber, rare rendition, reminiscent of "In The Mood," and "Tuxedo Junction." Then smooth as sleep­ing water, Ray Eberle and the Modernaires vocalize "DAY DREAMING." That's what we call "puttin' the 'B' to the back s!de." (Bluebird 11382).

* * * We have had . unverified reports

on a swell new tune called "I'M LOOKIN' FOR A FELLER THAT'S YELLER, AN' I'M GOIN' BEAT 'M 'TILL · HE'S RED WHITE AND BLUE." Hope t~ have further info' on this next time but until then, KEEP 'EM SINGING!

Model: "I'll 1?ose for your cig­arette ad for $30,000."

Agent: "I'll see you inhale first."

Page Seven

A Scotchman was returning home late one night when he was accosted by a couple of gangsters who demanded his money. In­stead of complying, Sandy struck out wildly and there and then en­sued a terrific battle. The Scot was overwhelmed, however, by superior weight and numbers, but not before he had left his mark on his assailants. Panting, they sat down beside him and rested. Then they proceeded to search the re­cumbent form. After an exhaus­tive search one unearthed a nickel. "Migawd, we're lucky," he breathed. "Lucky! Wot da yuh mean?" hissed the other. The first one glared at him, "Cripes, you're lucky you are alive. Sup­pose he'd had a dime!"

"What sort of a toothbrush do you want?"

"Lemme have a big one-there's thirty men in our fraternity."

TASTY REFRESHMENTS

~.

SMART SERVICE

WUItLIIZEIt PHONOGRAPH MUSIC

THE UNIVERSITY INN

"Just Around the Corner from the B. U."

Page Eight

A story was told about an old Negro, one Bro. Jones, who was so old and bent that when he died the undertaker could not get him to lie flat in his coffin. When the old Negro's back was flat down his knees would bob up, and when his knees were pushed down he would appear to sit up. After studying the matter for a while, the enterprising young mortician conceived the idea of using black cloth strips tacked over his knees and neck to hold him down. Came the following day and all went through .the beginning of church services when suddenly the mag­nitude of the parson's voice loos­ened the tacks in the neck-holder­downer-and the inevitable fol­lowed its course. Exactly what happened the next few minutes will probably never be known, but

Want to Feel Like a New Man?

Then try one of our shampoos. Gives you that refreshed feel­ing.

WRIGHT'S BARBER SHOP

On College, between 10th and the Square. Next door to Max B. Potter.

-BUWKY-

about three-quarters of a mile down the road, where one colored girl said to her team mate: "Didn't yo' all figguh that Parson Soloman was a God fearin' man?"

"Sho did," gasped the other "Did yo' all heah what he say when he passed us" . .

"No .. . wot?" "He say, "Damn the man that

invented the church with only one door'."

Science is resourceful; it could­n't pry open Pullman windows, so it air-conditioned the trains.

When you meet a friend, you probably say, "How are you?" (Your friend doesn't always take lhat seriously and tells you how he is-we hope.) It's a simple salutation, a rhetorical question as to the state of one's health. In China they say, "Have you eaten your rice?" That's because rice is more important than anything (' lse in China. In some tropical countries a dry skin is an indica­tion of fever, so one native meet­ing another will ask, "How are you sweating today?"

Mother: "Oh, why didn't you call me when those bad boys started to throw stones?"

Son: "Hell, rna! What would a' been the use? You can't hit the side of a barn."

"Does that Mrs. Gabber talk n1uch?"

"Does she? You ought to have &een how sunburned her tongue was when she came back from her vacation!"

"Doctor, I'm scared to death. This will be my first operation."

"Sure, I know just how you feel. You're my first patient."

For once the inveterate golfer arrived home in time for dinner. During the meal his wife said: "Willie tells me he caddied for you this afternoon."

"Well, do you know," said Willie's father, "I thought I'd seen tl:at boy before."

Impalieni diner: "Hey, waiter, hey-"

Waiter: "All right sir, but we'll have to send out for it."

We are prepared to give you the best of what you want in the way of

School Supplies Greeting Cards Social Stationery

Marshall Looe ~ Co. 1004 State St. Phone 543

"A Favorite Among Students and Teachers"

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"We always call signals this way." "Hey, you! Can't you read?"

MARION G lenn Mill' HUTTON e r s Moon!"

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Chesterfield n g t you are b 0 l ng , '" every b ' ecause gI~e you just wha 1t of material us . everything in

R. 19ht Combl' "t you want in a ' ed, IS put there t t natIon f h , cIO"arett 0 o top-notch 0 t e world' b b , e .. . from th

manufact ' s est Clg , e >tAKE eHE unng methods. alette tobaccos

S TERFIELD YOUR S MOKING P LEA SURE ~~~ . OF THE YEA R r~Sdttllff • ICGETT & M Copyrishl 1942 L YERS T OBACCO Co