“Brandon Wehking is America.” This simple phrase can be heard all around Priory hallways these days. The First Team All-League football kicker is now in full throttle for his true athletic passion: managing Varsity Wrestling.

“I guess the first time I knew I could be something great was when I was in third grade. Mopping just felt natural.” Soon thereafter, Wehking started to grab the attention of high school and college wrestling programs alike. “I got letters from Carnegie Mellon and Marquette before I could even spell them.”

A f t e r t h i s s u d d e n f a m e , Wehking travelled around the U.S., looking at schools and even making a a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. It was there that he stole the world renowned Robert McCauley’s title of “the World’s Greatest Wrestling Mat Mopper” at the age of 12. McCauley retired shortly after in a teary speech t e l e v i s e d a n d w a t c h e d b y o v e r 200,000,000 people worldwide.

After touring the nat ion, Wehking decided he wanted to remain close to family and friends and, much to our relief, chose Priory. “It was a tough choice, I’ll grant you that. New Trier (High School in the Chicago suburbs) was offering me a brand new Bentley, but I couldn’t drive at the time, so Priory was my final choice.” Wehking has

blessed the program for three years, but he looks most forward to his final year.

“ I m a y b e f i n i s h e d w i t h mopping after this year. I have a bad right wrist from last year, and I’m not sure if I want to risk it. I wanna be able to mop with my kids in the backyard, you know?” Wehking has broken every school, city, state, and national record there is to break, excluding the counterclockwise speed mop, which, as Wehking states, is for “those pansy Brits.” The United States Wrestling Mat Mopping Association (USMMA) were made aware of this statement and is seriously considering discontinuing this event now.

Priory’s Varsity Wrestling Coach Steve Rolwes labels Wehking as “indispensable.” Varsity Captain Drew Link could not agree more. “I love him like a brother. Well I dunno maybe not

that, but at least a brother-in-law. How could you not with mopping like that?”

Rowles continues, “We’ve been a tad inconsistent in the past three years, but rest assured, the mats will be mopped.” Mike Haueisen also is in awe of Wehking’s ability. “I love him more than I love the Blues.”

Wehking is unsure of where his mopping future resides. Upon turing 18 in a few months, he will be eligible to take part in the World Mopping Games, but unfortunately he will not be able to represent the U.S. in these upcoming Winter Olympics.

Wehking is an inspiration to all as he follows his own dreams of cleaning up the wrestling mats of the world. We can all use his example in our own quests to mop the world of its problems, one mat at a time.

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960Volume 40, Issue 13

Friday, December 11, 2009

Wehking Mops Away Competition4th year Varsity Wrestling Manager back to lead Rebels this year

Patrick Mulvihill, ’10Editor in Chief

The Record

You know what grinds my gears? The fact that Rudolph forgives the other reindeer so easily. The reindeer make fun of him his whole life and he just takes it the whole time, then finally he is worth something and suddenly they are all his friends? It's as pathetic as the 90% of Saint Louisians who suddenly become Blues fans once they do start doing well. And Rudolph just takes them back so quickly like they've been friends all along! If I were Rudolph I would lead them straight to the edge of a cliff and then I’d steer clear just in time while the rest of them break their legs and Santa and I would have a great hearty laugh.

It's just like the story in the Bible with the prodigal son who wastes all his dad's money then comes back and gets a big party. The other brother gets nothing even though he has been loyal the whole time. I'm with the loyal brother, its bologna! He should get the party, not the other guy. Speaking of the Bible, Christmas is a religious holiday, if it weren't for Christmas we would not have Christmas break. It's Christmas break, not "holiday break". So I'm sick and tired of the political correctness that involves saying "happy holidays" over "Merry Christmas." (also my editor wanted me to capitalize that “happy holidays” but its not good enough to be capitalized). Besides that, and there's not much to grind about because Christmas is the greatest time of the year. So have a Merry Christmas, but no happy holidays.

Now I know there was wailing and gnashing of teeth when the citizens of Priory found out that the column that they based their life on was under new management (thanks for covering, Patrick). Thus, an explanation is needed. I actually wrote a column that week, only I had also been doing a good deal of college apps, and that somewhat colored my article. The results were not pretty, out of a test pool of 10 seventh graders, 5 are still crying in the corner of the room, 4 are just staring blankly murmuring “the horror, the horror”, and I think that I have given poor Macke an eternal fear of reading. Luckily there are eighty more of them, but still I could not put the psyches of the Priory populace at risk, and thus abstained from my column that week. Now for something completely different, here is the first (and only) Arbitrarily Super-Special-Awesome Christmas Spectacular.1: Saying “Merry Christmas:” As some of you know, I am a life-long democrat, and thus it may be surprising that I enjoy being

politically incorrect. Let me correct that, I revel in being politically incorrect, especially during the holiday that mainstream society has attempted to hijack. Guess what guys, Christmas is religious. Its Christ-mas not “give people fancy toys”-mas. 2: The Star Wars Christmas Special: Years ago, in a galaxy far far away (Reagan era America) there was a made for tv movie. It seems that some bright fellow realized that they had a good franchise on their hands, and it only made sense to milk every last dollar out of it. Thus was born this monstrosity, a mish mash of camp, bad acting, product placement, and Boba Fett. Anyways, watching this still gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, which can only be attributed to the fact that despite how bad my column can be (cue outrage and fanbase denial), there will always be something worse. The best thing is, those guys actually had a large budget and famous cast, all I have are my own (godlike) opinions, and the satisfaction of people actually reading my rants.3: Viz-Priory: There comes a special time each year, close to Christmas time, that men and women dance without fear, and columnist write in rhyme,

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic: The Arbitrarily Christmas Special

Alex Todorov, ‘10Editorial Writer

Friday, December 11, 2009Volume 40, Issue 13

EditorialsThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Record StaffEditor in Chief:

Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10

Layout Editor:

Chad E. Huber, ’10

Content Editor:

Sean J. Lamb, ’10

Faculty Moderator:

Mrs. Barbara K. Sams

In this issue...

Patrick Mulvihill, ’10

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

Alex Todorov, ’10

Andy Schwarz, ’11

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members o f the Pr iory community , including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The Record Disclaimer

(continued on back page)

What Grinds My Gears

Peter Griffinwith the help of

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

Student Council has been laying low for the month of November thus far, with the excitement of fall over. We had a great time at all of the fall events like the Homecoming Bonfire, the ever-popular Junior School Mixer, the exciting football playoff games, and the High School Fall Dance. The time off this month has given us the chance to plan for our big events in December and beyond. Our first major event coming up is the Visitation - Priory Winter Dance. It is on December 12th, from 7 : 3 0 - 1 0 p m a n d i s , according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the “social event of the year.” Tickets have dropped considerably in price. The couples tickets are now $10 and stag tickets are now only $3. Ask a Student Council member or drop by the office in the next week to purchase them. It is a formal dance so coat and tie are required and you can only bring one girl. Visitation is setting

up decorations with the theme, ‘Under the Mistletoe,” so it is sure to be a good time. We also have a Christmas Assembly that is coming together nicely with a few new

ideas we have thrown in for this year. Of course the t r a d i t i o n o f d o i n g a Christmas movie is being upheld, and it is shaping up to be pretty funny. The Assembly takes place during

the last high school period on the last day of school before

C h r i s t m a s B r e a k . T h a t ’ s Tuesday, December 22nd from

2:18-3:01pm. R e b e l R o c k planning meetings have

begun and Student Council is looking for all bands that

are interested in playing at the event. Check the front desk

frequently as there will be a sheet for each band to fill out. We encourage both Junior School and High School bands. The only requirement is that there must be one Priory student in the band. The event is taking place on the last weekend in February, two weeks after the Winter Play.

Friday, December 11, 2009Volume 40, Issue 13

The Weekly UpdateThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Weekly Calendar

Wednesday, 12/16/2009

Thursday, 12/17/2009

Friday, 12/11/2009

Saturday, 12/12/2009

•8:00am JV Wrestling CBC Tourney•7:30-10:00pm Viz-Priory Winter Dance

Monday, 12/14/2009

•4:00pm C Basketball v. Afton•5:30pm JV Basketball v. Afton•7:00pm V Basketball v. Afton

Tuesday, 12/15/2009

•7:15-8:30pm Form IV Parent / Student College Night

Weekly Lunches12/04 - 12/10

Friday, 12/11

Popcorn Shrimp Wrap

Monday, 12/14Nacho Cheese

Tuesday, 12/15Chili Cheese Hot Dog

Wednesday, 12/16

Beef EnchiladaThursday, 12/17

Chicken NuggetsFriday, 12/18

Soup Bowl

Sports Scores11/ 28 - 12/02

Varsity Basketball63-43, Lose v. St. Dominic, 12/08

JV Basketball44-48, Lose v. St. Dominic, 12/08

C Basketball50-48, Win v. St. Dominic, 12/08

Hockey

4-3, Win v. Clayton @ Affton, 12/04

Student Council Update:

Viz-Priory Dance

PuzzlesThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, December 11, 2009Volume 40, Issue 13

Crossword PuzzleACROSS1. Weighty books6. Plate10. ___-friendly14. Warning15. Expect and wish16. Not a single one17. Rent18. Auditory19. ___ meridiem20. Competition participant22. Fastened23. Fifty-two in Roman numerals24. Uproar26. Extremity30. Vice ___32. Dwarf buffalo33. Smell35. Outer or exterior39. Paraguayan tea41. Bigheadedness42. Portion43. Expand abnormally44. Craving46. Otherwise47. US bird symbol49. Really or in truth

51. Male hawk54. ___ green55. Cain's brother56. An afterimage of a taste63. Alone64. Tidy65. Unearthly66. Narrow opening67. Penny68. Famous69. Apiece70. Irritable71. Adolescents

DOWN1. After-bath powder2. Margarine3. Average4. Formerly (archaic)5. Unbending6. Hindu loincloth7. Bit8. Rotate9. Browbeat10. Not fastened together11. Relating to audible sound12. Come in

13. Wheezy 21. Fodder holder25. Purposes26. Not nights27. Once again28. Center29. Table linen30. The popular taste at a given time31. Cupid, to the Greeks34. Hollow36. Story37. Backside38. Accomplishment40. Wings 45. Level48. Peek50. Floating in water51. Piece of armor for a thigh52. Hemorrhagic fever53. Museum piece54. Minor57. Give food to58. Zingy taste59. Found in skin lotion60. Location61. Adolescent62. Concludes

Sudokus Word SearchWORDBANK

HARD

EASY

adoreadvance

alesanother

applyclowncouple

devotioneagerly

faintfoal

fortunatefreedom

friendfuturehappyhugs

kindnesskissesloverspale

peacepierplace

pleasurepods

pokeprettyrich

sharesneaksteep

successsuppertoasttoss

touchtune

young

Cryptogram

- George Gobal

1. It’s a Wonderful Life2. A Christmas Story3. Elf4. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)5. Christmas Vacation6. A Charlie Brown Christmas7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer8. Frosty the Snowman9. Bad Santa10.Home Alone11.How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)12.The Santa Clause13.Miracle on 34th Street14.Home Alone 2: Lost in New York15.Polar Express16.Frosty the Snowman17.Badder Santa18.Nightmare Before Christmas19.The Muppet Christmas Carol20.Santa Clause: The Movie

iTunes Top 10

1. Bad Romance Lady GaGa2. TiK ToK Ke$ha3. Fireflies Owl City4. Replay Iyaz5. Meet Me Half Way Black Eyes Peas6. Watcha Say Jason DeRulo7. 3 Britney Spears8. Need You Now Lady Antebellum 9. Party in the U.S.A. Miley Cyrus 10. Do You Remember Jay Sean

Top 10Sufjan Stevens

Christmas Songs

1. Hey Guys! It’s Christmas

Time!

2. Did I Make You Cry On

Christmas? (Well, You

Deserved It)

3. Lo! How A Rose E’er

Blooming

4. O Come O Come

Emmanuel

5. Away In A Manger

6. Only At Christmas Time

7. Sister Winter

8. It’s Christmas! Be Glad!

9. Once In Royal David’s

City

10.  We Three Kings

- Patrick Mulvihill, ’10

Contact the editors if you want to provide a Top 10 Playlist of your own for the band or artist of your choice and it could appear in The Record in the future...

Friday, December 11, 2009Volume 40, Issue 13

Sports and EntertainmentThe Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Sean Lamb ’10Content Editor

Hockey Brings Home a Winner Over Ladue

The skating Rebels took to the ice last Friday night against division opponent Ladue. The Rebels jumped out to an early 2-0 lead with goals from Nick Thompson, his third of the year, and Sean Lamb, who scored his eighth of the season. Ladue, however, never gave up and scored the next goal, cutting the lead to 2-1. Andrew Halenkamp answered about five minutes later, giving the Rebels a two-goal lead again. At the end of the second period, however, Ladue scored two goals in quick succession to tie the score 3-3 going into the break. After a loud, motivational speech from the coaches, the Rebels came out determined in the third period but were having trouble putting the biscuit in the basket until Andrew Halenkamp netted his second of the game,

bringing his total to three on the season and giving the

Rebels a 4-3 lead that t h e y n e v e r relinquished. Ladue kept

the pressure on the Rebels’ defense and

had some good scoring chances

i n t h e t h i rd p e r i o d b u t

Liam Ware played well in goal again, especially at the end of the game. Just when the Rebels thought the game was over, however, a tripping penalty was called with only 1:28 left in the game. Ladue pulled their goalie, creating a 6-on-4 powerplay that the Rebels’ penalty killing unit was able to stop. Then, in the closing seconds of the game, Sean Lamb scored an empty net goal, his second of the night and ninth of the season. The Rebels take to the ice again tonight at Queeny Park at 9:30 against division opponent Lutheran South.

The Record Editors

Top 20 Best Christmas Movies Of All Time

Wrestling ResultsThis past weekend Varsity Wrestling went to John Burroughs for a Tournament while Junior Varsity went to Afton. The medal placing Varsity results are listed below:

Second PlaceDrew Link - 125 lbs. Weight ClassColin Bruns - 171 lbs. Weight Class

Third PlaceVan Thomas - 130 lbs. Weight Class

Francis Cassidy - 285 lbs. Weight Class

Fourth PlaceJeff Swaney - 140 lbs. Weight Class

Rose Bowl: Ohio State vs. Oregon: This one will be a blowout no question about it. The Ohio State offense has not proven itself against a quality opponent and I wouldn’t call Pryor much of a dual-threat at QB. The man can’t run and he can’t pass. Oregon has one of the nation’s most high powered offenses and the r e c e n t a d d i t i o n o f Legarret Blunt should i m p r o v e t h e D u c k ’ s running Game. The ducks will score at will and they will not let up. Expect to see the backups getting some playing time its going to be a boring Rose Bowl this year.

Oregon 52 OSU 20Sugar Bowl: Florida vs. Cincinnati: Everyone who expects the Gators to roll over the Bearcats is in for a surprise. Cincinnati is undefeated and they’ve played some good football teams. It’s not like Cincinnati plays in the WAC or the Sunbelt, they play in the Big East and they haven’t lost! Florida will come

out all upset about losing to Bama and getting crushed may I remind you, and they will expect to win without trying. Cincinnati will score first and Florida will be down 14 at half and spend the hole second half slowly chipping away at the Bearcat’s lead. In the end Florida will be set up for a game winning drive but Cincinnati will pick off a desperation pass game over.

Cincinnati 38 Florida 34Fiesta Bowl: TCU vs. Boise State: Two small school unbeatens face off in

what should be the most fun game to watch of any of this year’s

bowl games. These two teams know how to put u p t h e points. I wouldn’t e x p e c t t h i s game to be such a high scoring affair however. Boise State

h a d one real challenge all year and beat Oregon, shutting

down the Ducks explosive offense. TCU’s defense has been phenomenal. The most the Frogs allowed all year was 28 points to Utah in a game in which the Frogs scored 55. In the end the better team will win this game and TCU might just be the best team in the country. They will make statement in this game.

TCU: 31 Boise State: 20Orange Bowl: Georgia Tech vs.

Iowa: Georgia Tech can be defined in o n e w o r d e x p l o s i v e . T h e y l o o k impossible to stop. Iowa however is a hardnosed football team who looks solid in all areas. If the Hawkeye’s quarterback, Stanzi, was healthy to face the Buckeyes at the end of the season Iowa might be playing Oregon in the Rose Bowl. Iowa went undefeated in the beginning of the season and people tend to forget this. Iowa found a way to win close games and this will be a close game. Advantage Hawkeyes.

Iowa 31 GT 28National Championship: Alabama vs. Texas: Will somebody beat the SEC? Not this year. Bama’s defense is g o o d enough to stop Colt

M c C o y a n d t h e Longhorns. Not much to say

about this one. Texas couldn’t get anything going against Nebraska

they won’t against the Tide. The Bama offense wont be spectacular but they

won’t have to be. This game should be about the exact opposite of TCU and Boise. Slow and boring.

Alabama 27 Texas 16

across the floor the pairs glide, enjoying the sight of characters, like Joe Hayes jumping on his side, and your's truly dancing like he's having seizures, yes this magnificent event brings together student tribes, an event that can only be done by stuco, now about the subject of those advertising fees, pay up or else something will happen to you that ends you.

4: Stockings: These socks are what make Christmas morning truly special. They provide you with that extra sugar boost you need to get over the fact that your Aunt gave you a sears garage playset, even though you are 15. They almost numb the bitter pain of your (admittedly way over the top) Christmas desires shattering into tiny little psychiatrist's coach shaped pieces. 5: It is just Awesome: There is just something magical about the Christmas Season. Maybe it's the leg hairs of the

Rugby lads freezing over. Or it's the sound of the wrestling team practicing on Christmas eve (Mr Rowles there are three ghosts coming your way). No, in the end, it is the sense of joy that pervades the city. Each snowflake seems to contain a child's dream, which flies away to be granted as it melts. Each icy patch is like a trip to a new place, a place w h e r e y o u d o n ' t k n o w w h a t ' s happening, and all you can do is enjoy the ride. Or the massive increase in your car insurance. Merry Christmas!

THE RECORD - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School 500 S. Mason Road, Creve Coeur, MO 63141 314.434.3690 ext. 221 therecord@priory.org

Editor in Chief: Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10 Layout Editor: Chad E. Huber, ’10 Content Editor: Sean J. Lamb, ’10 Moderator: Barbara K. Sams

The Record WeeklyThe Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Friday, December 11, 2009Volume 40, Issue 13

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic(continued from page 2)

Andy Schwarz, ’11Sports Writer

BCS Predictions