wave: no. 81
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Celebrating Life How you can Express a Loved one's Wishes and Values Through an Alternative FuneralTRANSCRIPT
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Available online atwww.thelatest.co.uk/wave
April 2009
the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle magazine
free
How you can express aloved one’s wishes andvalues through analternative funeral
the uk’s best free green & ethical lifestyle magazine
REGULAR FEATURESPARENTING, INTERIORS,PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT,FITNESS, FOOD, AND THE DIRECTORY
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I don’t really believe in theold adage that we are bornalone and we die alone. Theevents of our own births anddeaths are likely to have ahuge impact on those whohappen to be around us atthe time, meaning that we inturn are likely to be impactedby the births and deaths ofthose who are closest to us.And yet, in our culture, theseevents have become steepedin traditions which placecertain expectations upon us.We can feel a pressure tomeet these expectations, even
…from Pearl
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Sales & Editorial01273 818160Accounts 01273 818150 Fax 01273 818152 email [email protected]
Wave, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH Bill Smith
Pearl BatesStephen KingAlison Swann, Joe CurtinNeil Ive, Zara BakerMarie Viviani: [email protected] Lynne Edwards: [email protected] Caple: [email protected]
wavehelloContentsFeatures11 Green funerals
A new kind of funeral isemerging – one that paysrespect to both a person and the planet
Regulars3 Tallulah says...5 Wave world7 Mind games7 Wave family8 What is?9 Prosperity9 Wave business
13 Wave goes out14 Directory
Issue 81
if we don’t feel it in our hearts.It’s good to know that there arealternative approaches that wecan take when these timescome, and our feature thismonth takes a look atalternative funerals. Meanwhile– there’s that part in-betweenbirth and death to be gettingon with, and that’s where all ofWave’s regular features comeinto play. We hope you enjoy.
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002 > Hello > Pearl Bates Wave
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husband’s blue-faced expletiveexplosions and the annoyinglyapologetic, “I’m so sorry to botheryou but would you mind removingyour elbow from my eye, if it’s nottoo much trouble?” kind ofrequests that I often make.
“Mustn’t grumble” is anational cliché, but an unhelpfulone. We need to to express ourwishes and hopes and to get ourneeds met while enabling othersto do the same.
Whether we march through the
streets waving placards, write asnipey yet eloquent letter, ring upthe person we’ve been avoiding orexplain to our partner hownecessary it is to pick up one’s ownsocks, we should do whatever ittakes to find a positive outlet for allthose niggly stresses. Maybe it’s amatter of chipping away at negativefeelings through small but boldmoves to assert our own needs andthose of others unable to fight theirown battles. Being British about itmay just not be enough.
I have marched into a shopdemanding fair treatment, only tobe greeted by a charming,courteous person who completelytakes the wind out of my sails. I amleft feeling ineffectual, and aboutas assertive as a ping-pong ball. Myhusband’s own delightful brand of‘road rage’ (swearing in animmensely over-the-top way that is,however, inaudible to the personprovoking his fury) demonstratesthe strength of human frustrationswhen we are unable to find a
suitable outlet. In fact, manypsychologists argue that repressingnegative feelings can actually leadto physical manifestations indiseases such as cancer. I once hadan excruciating abscess and theintensity of the pain convinced meit was connected to unexpressedemotions – the anger was literallyboiling out of me.
Yet asserting yourself is notalways simple. The problem liesin finding a voice for your feelingsthat is somewhere between my
003 > Joanna Ellender www.wavemagazine.co.uk
Mustn’t GrumbleA recent study of the passengerlists of the Titanic shows that adisproportionate number of thosepassengers who died in thedisaster were British – a factor theresearchers attribute partly to ourstrict queuing codes and aninherent national unwillingness topush and shove. The British are anation of ‘Angry from Fifes’,people who are often not afraid tospeak their minds: we complain toour councils, rant on radio phone-ins and write searing indictmentsof life to our newspapers. Thereseems to be an innate humanneed to ‘get things off our chests’.But expressing ourselvesappropriately and according to ourcomplex unwritten codes ofconduct can sometimes be a majorproblem. Just ask Jonathan Ross.
Joanna EllenderJo (she who once was Tallulah) thinksthe British don’t say what we reallythink and it’s not good for our health
For some the line between beingassertive and being rude is blurredby not having the confidence tospeak out. I am happy to complainto my bank about another chargethey’ve slapped on my account,until they dazzle me with themaths and I’m reduced to aspluttering mess. Many is the time
[“We need to find a way to grumble effectively,to express our wishes and to get our needsmet while enabling others to do the same” ]
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ith
“Teach one million children to meditate…” – David Lynch“Let’s close our eyes and begin meditation”, instructs a teacher at theMaharishi School in Skelmersdale, Lancashire, a ‘Stress-Free’ school,where the pupils are all bright, creative and happy! Can all schools baskin stress-free bliss and achievement? David Lynch, the innovative filmdirector (Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive, Twin Peaks) is so convinced, hehas established a Foundation to “teach one million school children tomeditate and change the world overnight.”
The David Lynch Foundation has so far funded the teaching ofTranscendental Meditation™ (TM) founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi®, to 60,000 students across the globe with impressive results. “In today’sworld of fear and uncertainty,” says Lynch, “every child should have oneclass period a day to dive within himself and experience the field of
silence – bliss – the enormous reservoir of energy and intelligence that isdeep within all of us. This is the way to save the coming generation.”
To fund one million children in TM, Lynch’s Foundation will present abenefit concert on Saturday 4 April at New York’s Radio City Music Hall.The Change Begins Within concert will feature Paul McCartney, RingoStarr, Sheryl Crow, Donovan, Eddie Vedder, Ben Harper, Moby, BettyeLaVette, and other musicians and celebrities.
HOPE OF STRESS-FREE SCHOOLS IN SUSSEXSussex child and adolescentpsychiatrist Dr Bernadette van den Hout supports the idea ofTranscendental Meditation™ in Sussex schools: “TM is a simple,easily learned technique. Over 600studies have shown powerfulbenefits, such as acceleratedcognitive development in children;decreased nicotine and alcoholcraving; and depression and anxietyrelief. In America, we have seenpromising results with reduced high blood pressure. A recent studyshowed a significant improvement in concentration of children withspeech and language difficulties and ADHD.”
For decades, the medical community has recommended TranscendentalMeditation as a natural way to relieve stress. With the worrying escalationof problems in education, TM could be just what the doctor ordered! Now, let’s open our eyes…
Stress-Free schools
Paul McCartney will headline the benefitconcert Change Begins Within
To learn Transcendental Meditation™, or to find out how TM can beintroduced into your local school, contact Dr Anthony Miles, aregistered instructor of Transcendental Meditation™ in Brighton, call 01273 542060. Dr Miles will give an introductory lecture on TMat the Cornerstone Community Centre, Church Rd, Hove BN3 2FL on Wednesday 15 April at 7:30 pm. www.t-m.org.uk;www.maharishischool.com; www.davidlynchfoundation.org
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005 > Wave world www.thelatest.co.uk/wave
Catching our eye this month…waveworld �
HEMPTASTIC“Most people don’t realise that cottonis the most heavily sprayed crop in theworld and needs a lot of irrigation,”says Rose Howe, founder of thenatural clothing company Hemprose.“Hemp is a fabulous alternative. Itfeels so good on the skin and itwashes so well that it always holds itsshape.” As a special offer to Wavereaders, Rose is giving away a freepair of sexy hempsilk knickers withevery purchase of her sensualluxurious hemp nightie, the ‘Hemptress’. Or, for your chance to winone of five pairs of free knickers on their own, email Rose [email protected] with the answer this question: Where is The HemproseCollection made? (Here’s a clue: check out www.hemprose.co.uk!)
WANTED: ADVENTURERS!How do you fancy joining a fantasticfive-day trekking challenge, exploringthe high atlas mountains of Morocco andthe summit of North Africa’s highestpeak, Mount Toubkal? Experience themagic and mystery of this ancientAfrican kingdom and raise vital funds forfamilies with children that have a life-threatening or terminal illness in yourarea. Rainbow Trust Children’s Charitysupports 1,000 families each year andtheir two respite houses in Surrey andNorthumberland provide a much-neededbreak for the whole family. To take partin this once-in-a-lifetime trip and help raise funds for the families in TheRainbow Trust’s care, please call Anna on 01372 220022 or [email protected], or visit www.rainbowtrust.org.uk.
SEEDS FOR THE FUTUREChildren from Thomas A Becket MiddleSchool in Worthing have planted a new hedgeto help bats and other wildlife alongside theEarth Restoration Service, a charity that aimsto restore natural environments. The hedgewill border Sussex Wildlife Trust’s (SWT)nature reserve at Ebernoe Common nearPetworth. “Ebernoe Common is home to avariety of woodland wildlife and many thrivingcolonies of bats,” explains Rich Howorth, theTrust’s West Weald landscape projectmanager. “Thanks to the school’s hard work the trees will mature andform flight paths to protect creatures from predators.” To find outmore about SWT and Ebernoe Common nature reserve visitwww.sussexwt.org.uk, and for more information about ERS School TreeNursery Programme, visit www.earthrestorationservice.org.
SPACED OUTThe Satellite 3 range of lipsticksand powders are inspired by thecolours of the cosmos and the richspectrum of shades in cyberspace.Continuing the theme, Satellite 3’sunique recyclable, refillable packaging takes the form of rockets andflying saucers. Satellite 3 are giving away to Wave readers twolipsticks, one in ‘Oscular Mayor’ and the other in ‘Message FromMars’, and one saucer containing ‘Lady Penelope’s Flush’ blusher and‘Cybor Chic’ eye shadow. To enter, send a postcard with your nameand address to Wave Magazine Competition, 28 Norhyrst Avenue,London SE25 4BZ.For more info, visit www.satellite3.com.
ADOPT A TURTLE Orange Turtle, based on the beautiful southcoast, has launched a new fundraisingcampaign by adopting seven endangeredturtles through the Marine Conservation
Society’s Adopt-A-Turtle scheme. Throughoutthe coming year, for every item purchased,
Orange Turtle will donate 10p to the scheme,aiming to adopt as many turtles in 2009 as possible
with the help of their customers. “We believe it is important to putsomething back into the community. As we are based close by the southcoast we are very aware that maintaining the beaches and seas is crucialfor the wildlife, the local people and the economy,” said KammellaSellers, managing director. You can sign-up to receive regular newsletters,including the latest updates on the Adopt-A-Turtle fundraising campaign,at www.orangeturtle.co.uk.
MILKING ITThe South East FoodGroup Partnershiphas funded abreakfast event atWhitehawk PrimarySchool, as part ofFarmhouse BreakfastWeek to promotelocal producers andthe importance ofeating a healthybreakfast. Children learned how to milk a cow with the help ofButtercup, an artificial milking cow, before hearing from local farmerRoger ‘Farmer Foxy’ Foxwell about food and farming, and wherebreakfast comes from. ‘Farmer Gill’ – Gillian van der Meer, South Eastevents manager for the South East Food Group Partnership – also gavethe children a breakfast workshop, making muesli using Sussexproduce with fresh fruit, milk, Bramley apple purée, yoghurt and honey.
WILD CHILD!In the heart of the Sussex countryside over the May Bank Holiday, at abeautiful farm in the Ashdown Forest, there will be a gathering of someof the most inspiring, passionate and committed pioneers of the wild.Welcoming families and individuals alike, The Wild Heart Gathering willfeature wilderness skills, great music, poetic verse and divinestorytelling, yoga, dancing, meditation, theatre and performance, greatfood, crafts and a whole lot more. What’s the wackiest Wild Heartworkshop you can imagine happening at the gathering? Send yoursuggestions via the website www.wildheartgathering.com by 23 April foryour chance to win two free tickets to the event. For more informationvisit the website or call 01273 480429.
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“Acupuncture has given me many opportunities and it is wonderful to beable to make a living helping people to reach their health potential,”LCTA graduate Ethan Pennell told us.
“One day I might be treating a stressed-out investment banker, the next adrug addict. Working for myself, with a schedule I determine, enables me topursue my other dream of being a writer – I’ve just finished my first noveland, yes, one of the characters is an acupuncturist!”
LCTA’s free presentation days are an invaluable way of understandingthe opportunities and practicalities of studying Oriental medicine. So ifyou are interested in changing career and want to find out more, comeand experience TCM in action on 9 May 2009, from 9.45am till 2pm. To book your place, please call Natasha on 020 8446 3332.
AcupunctureA change of career and lifestyle
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007 > Wave > At home www.thelatest.co.uk/wave
The challenge that grips manyholistic households onentering the Easter holidays ishow do we avoid our childreneating their own body weightin chocolate? Raw chocolateis growing in availability andis undoubtedly far healthierthan the alternatives, butoften the caffeine content isvery high so this should beconsidered before giving it toyoung children.
The over-consumption ofEaster goodies is less of aproblem for my elder boys, whofavour savoury treats over sweetoptions, but my youngest seemsto have been born with theability to sniff out low cocoasolids and artificial sweetenersfrom a vast distance.
Easter coincides with paganspring festivals and is evennamed for the goddess offertility, Oestara. It falls on thefirst Sunday after the full moon following the spring equinox, and assuch is still considered a lunar celebration. Easter is a huge festivalwithin Italian families, who traditionally decorate the local Madonnastatue and carry her through the streets on their shoulders, and out intothe fields and the vineyards so that the crops may be blessed. Thisechoes the ancient rites that celebrated the return of Persephone fromthe underworld.
A thousand miles away from my ancestors’ beautiful mountain village,Persephone’s blessings arrive embodied in shiny wrappers, egg-shaped andgleaming, wishing my boys well with a variety of E numbers and additives.The solutions we have developed to encourage moderation are still acompromise but do help to keep the rising tide of confectionery at bay.
Firstly, we ask relatives and friends to buy only organic dark-chocolateeggs, because they are not as sweet, which means the children tend toeat less. All the eggs are hidden at an annual Oestara picnic and a largegroup of children and chocolate-loving adults are invited to join thetreasure hunt. At the end, the spoils are divided up and shared by manyso that individual consumption is limited.
We also bake a healthy Oestara cake and decorate it with our wishespainted onto rice paper. This helps the children to feel that they areparticipating in the season without overindulging.
Painting chicken and goose eggs with images of our dreams is anotheractivity we enjoy sharing at this time. We use non-toxic paints and leavethem under the oak tree in our garden as an offering to the spirits of spring.
Sugar rush
[“My youngest seems to have been born withthe ability to sniff out low cocoa solids andartificial sweeteners from a vast distance” ]
Family affairsSelina di Girolamo looks for waysto steer away from overindulgenceat Easter
Spaced out
Mind gamesWellness coach Viv Craske saysthat paying attention to the smallthings is the key to personal growth
My eight-year-old niece said something very profound the other day:“You’ve got to have fun to be learning.” She’s right. When I teachhypnosis to groups of people it’s essential for me to get them in a curiousstate of mind so they can really learn. I tell them a story about going intoa huge toy store and being entranced by all the colours and sounds andthings to play with…
Most people are familiar with the kind of strange phenomena highlysuggestible people demonstrate during hypnosis stage shows and DerrenBrown TV programmes, but hypnotic trances have much more in commonwith being an eight-year-old in a toy shop than running about the stagethinking you’re a chicken. Ever been driving, suddenly to ‘wake up’ andfind you’ve driven fifteen miles without noticing? Ever been so absorbedin a movie or theatre play that time has all but stood still? Ever caughtyourself daydreaming at work?
If you answered yes to any of theabove, you’ve already experienced ahypnotic trance. While stagehypnotists play up the mysticalaspects of reality-altering mindsets,hypnotherapists like myself know thattrances are naturally occurring statesof mind that we experience everysingle day.
You might be curious to discoverthat while scientists struggle to definehypnosis, there are some commonfactors to all trance experiences. Ilike to think that hypnotic trances areas simple as ABC. Next time you findyourself spaced out, see if you cannotice the following:A Attention. Your awareness of reality becomes narrowly focussed, so you
are fixed on one thing. Ever not heard someone call your name whenyou’re deep in a book?
B Being. If you’ve ever read about Buddhism or meditated you’llremember the emphasis placed on just being, a state of mind whereyou stop all your thoughts, sitting in a state of contented existence.
C Curiosity. Studies show that the only common factor amongcommunities with high average lifespans is not diet, but people’sreaction to life stresses. Those who are fascinated by life’s ups anddowns, and see their experiences as a learning tool, live longer thanthose who see doom and gloom, fated existence or bad luck.What my niece was saying with, “You’ve got to have fun to be
learning,” was a metaphor for naturally occurring trance states. Let’srephrase it as: ‘You’ve got be curious to cultivate a calm inner life’. Next time you’re finding yourself stressed, just pay attention tosomething wonderful or beautiful and allow yourself to get lost in one oflife’s wonderful trances. Viv Craske is a meta-medicine health coach, NLP practitioner andhypnotherapist based in Brighton. To change your life, call 01273 208605 or email [email protected].
][“Hypnotic trances have much more incommon with being an eight-year-old in a toyshop than running about the stage thinkingyou’re a chicken”
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Holistic therapy?
Hidden away in a central Brighton location is Natural Bodies, which iswhere I met Brighton and Hove-based therapist Robert Brayley-Hodgetts. He greeted me with a warm handshake and a broad smile,before ushering me to take a seat at one end of a large cedar desk inhis treatment room.
Robert’s approach to healing is multi-faceted, incorporating all aspectsof the mind, body and soul, and he has many strings to his bow fromwhich he can draw upon while he is working with you. His 18 years ofexperience have seen him become accomplished in aromatherapy, Bachflower remedies, counselling, spiritual healing, deep-tissue massage,hypnotherapy, lymph massage, pregnancy massage, shiatsu, spinalhealing, spinal massage and also spiritual tarot.
“In my work,” he explains, “I find it is very important to be able tooffer a range of treatments to match the particular physiological andemotional needs of different people. What works perfectly for someoneelse may not work for you.” Having built up a thorough, holistic picture ofmy health through questioning, Robert began with some general adviceabout diet and posture. “Part of my work is in helping people tounderstand how their body works – and their mind, too,” he says.
Once I was on the treatment table, Robert began to work along my spineusing spinal touch, a technique similar to cranio-sacral therapy, encouragingthe joints to loosen up and become more receptive to massage. He quicklyassessed that I, like many people, spend hours slumped in front of acomputer. He advised support for my mid-back, regular breaks from mydesk, plus having a shower with hot water as soon as I got home each nightto ease tension in the neck and shoulder area.
The treatment concluded with some deeply relaxing and supportivemassage. As I left the treatment rooms, I felt lengthened, straightened outand re-balanced, with a sense of clarity in my head. I experienced somesoreness and stiffness in my back over the next day or so, but it was thegood kind of soreness that makes you want to stretch and unbend yourself– in fact I found myself doing just that in the middle of a café in London!
I’ve also taken on Robert’s advice about posture and have been mindfulof it. The effect this has had on my sense of confidence and self-esteemhas definitely been noticeable. The range of health issues that Robertregularly treats is impressive, but his particular area of expertise lies inthe diagnosis and treatment of problems in the neck and back.To find out how he can help you, contact him directly on 07787 524769or email [email protected]. Robert is currently running aspecial offer for new clients: two massages for the price of one. For more details visit www.sussextherapy.co.uk.
Wave
Laura Buchanan met with Robert Brayley-Hodgetts to find out how holistic therapycould help her back
008 > What is?
What is…
More than ever before,the nation hasbecome obsessed withlooking and feelinggreat, which invariablymeans wanting to lookslim, trim and toned.Most of us go throughfads of diet andexercise to achievethe body and look wedesire – yet all toooften it is short lived,or there are thosestubborn areas thatjust won’t shift. Andthat is exactly wherethe Lapex BCS systemcomes in. Arevolutionarytreatment branded asLaser Lipo which is amedical device forspot laser fatreduction providing inch loss, skintightening, cellulite reduction andskin rejuvenation – withimmediate results. Indeed, thisFat-melting Laser System claimsto be a safe, painless, non-invasive and fast treatment for
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Another powerful aspect of flow is being in the right place at the righttime. In other words when you are in the flow then you will evoke thephenomenon of synchronicity. For instance whenever I am house huntingI always invoke the power of synchronicity. I never bother to do it the left-brain rational way of going to lots of estate agents and checking loads ofproperties. It is far too time consuming. I simply get clear on what I want,focus my mind towards what I want and then release the wish to theuniverse. Shortly, somehow, the right place just seems to come along. Itis a far more efficient and joyful way of doing it I can tell you.Would you like to activate your natural rhythm for living so you canachieve effortless and magical results? Steve Nobel is running a retreat inAmbleside, The Lake District, from the Thursday 4 to Sunday 7 June.‘Discover Your Flow’ is designed to help you discover how you can movebeyond your internal limiting conditioning and resistance to embrace theincredible power of flow, the single most important factor in creating asuccessful life filled with meaning and purpose. For more informationvisit www.discoveryourflow.com➜Steve Nobel is an author, spiritual coach and a director of Alternatives.For more information on his coaching and events visit www.stevenobel.com
So often we are taught that life has to be a struggle. This means that ifyou are to achieve anything worthwhile in life then you usually have towork very hard. I do not believe this is the most graceful and effectiveway to live in the world. If you look at some of the most successfulpeople in the world they work smart and not hard.
When I think about effortless and graceful results I think in terms offlow and of flowing towards a certain result. The concept of ‘flow‘ wasstudied for over 30 years by American psychologist MihalyCsikszentmihalyi. He found that people are the happiest when they arethe most absorbed in their actions, with a sense of effortless actionknown as their ‘flow‘.
He concluded that it is “a condition of heightened focus, productivity,and happiness that we all intuitively understand and hunger for“. All topathletes and business executives understand being ‘in the flow‘. Beforeyou can be in the flow you need to understand the things that put you inyour flow and help to anchor you there.
An aspect of flow is doing what you love. It is hard to be totallyabsorbed and in the flow if you do not enjoy very much what you aredoing. When you are in the flow of doing what you love then it will notseem like hard work. When an artist is in their flow then they can workhours at a painting yet feel like it was just a few minutes. When youengage the power of synchronicity then you will live a fortunate life.
009 > Business & prosperity www.thelatest.co.uk/wave
Abundant LivingStep into the miraculous flowof life, advises Steve Nobel
Go with the flow
Wavebusiness
What was the inspiration behind setting up the company?Strange as it may sound, my work as a masseur is very muchconnected to my other major passion, being a club DJ. Ok, let meexplain! Basically, a DJ is someone who has the ability to read acrowd of people and their moods, and to deliver the rightsounds that will lift that crowd into a world of fun,relaxation and often relief from their daily pressures.This to me, is massaging people with sound.
I was in a club one night when a friend of mine hada bad shoulder. I said, “Here, let me warm themuscles around your neck and the top of your spine”– and that’s where my massage journey began.
What’s been the biggest challenge you’ve faced?It was a home visit massage to treat a girl suffering from majorstress. To this day I have never seen someone with such a spinalcondition – she had scoliosis. The massage I offer is always verygentle, but in this instance I simply placed both my hands gently inthe centre of her back and concentrated on the palms of my handsto bring intent of chi to my hands. After a while I encouraged her totake slow, long breaths in and out. After twenty minutes of this sheburst into tears of relief. Running through my mind were questionssuch as: was it the massage I gave her – which was very, veryminimal – that brought her so much relief? Or, was it the fact that Ihad gone beyond my fear of her spinal condition to love the dear girlthat moved so much stagnant emotion out of her body? Or, could
that be called healing? You decide, but she regularly calls meback for this gentle massage that makes her feel better.
What’s been your biggest success?In 2008 I managed to claim the title of the DJ who hasplayed at the most venues in one night by playingtwenty-four venues with a fifteen minute set in justtwelve hours.
Who are your heroes?My mum and dad for having stood by me through thick
and thin, the director of The Lord Of The Rings trilogy,Peter Jackson, and finally David Deida, the author of a
book called The Way of The Superior Man. I can’t evenbegin to explain how this book leaves you evolving as a person
even as you sit there reading it.
➜To download Dan’s latest music mixes, see his events diary, hear himDJ, receive a free massage while in a club or enquire about how he canhelp you to free yourself of some emotional stress with his speciallydeveloped massage techniques, visit www.djdanwarb.co.uk or email himat [email protected].
Wave talks to some small businesses withplanet-changing ideas. This month: DJ andmasseur Dan Warb
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For more information contactEngleharts SolicitorsVallance Hall, Hove Street, Hove,East Sussex BN3 2DE
T: 01273 204411F: 01273 204207E: [email protected]
Integral College Brighton invites you to a dynamiccourse on Integral Theory and Integral Life Practice‘Ways of Transformation.’
Integral Theory gives us the most complete toolkit forunderstanding anything we choose to examine. IntegralLife Practice gives us the most complete toolkit forindividual and collective transformation.
We bring this body of work to life for you through experientialand cognitive learning, so you can positively affect yourhealth, personal development, relationships, workand the world.
This course integrates the best of ancient and modernknowledge and life practices into an exciting and effectivenew system. Structured over 6 months to give you 9 fulldays of balanced cognitive and experientiallearning. Become part of a dynamic, pioneeringlearning community.
“Many courses explore theoretical perspectives, someundertake practical training; but this takes you on atransformative journey making theory experiential andexperience meaningful. Do it and be the change you want.”Martin [08 course]
Course Start date: 2nd and 3rd of May 2009 Venue: Integral Clinic, Hove Course leaders: James Clifton & Rex BrangwynCost: £600 for full 9 days or £75 per day as you go.Call: Integral Clinic 01273 775559 Email: [email protected]
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011> Green funerals www.wavemagazine.co.uk
Losing a loved one is something that all of uswill encounter at some point in our lives. Whileit’s an issue that we may wish we could pushto the back of our minds, a little preparationcan go a long way towards helping to balm theshock and sadness of a death, which can comeeven when the death was an expected one.When the time comes, you will find there are ahost of trained professionals who will be atpains to support you through the process ofsaying goodbye in a way that you feel bestbefits your loved one. For many, the traditionalfuneral service, with all its polished brass andmahogany, swathes of black and cascades oflilies, is a reassuring and dignified send off,and one that many of us might unquestioninglyassume is the only option.
While here in the UK we may toe the line ofrespectful reverence, in Jamaica a death istraditionally met with nine nights of celebration,where relatives of the dead are supportedthrough dancing, singing and the downing of100 per cent proof rum. Similarly, Estonianslike to throw banquets in their graveyards,sharing food with the deceased by layingdelicacies on tombstones to preserve the bonds.
Increasingly, there are new forms of funeralsand burials available here, too. “Funerals arechanging,” says Simon Jefferies from Co-opFunerals. “People are becoming more aware ofthe alternatives available to them.” StephanieWienrich from the Natural Death Centre iskeen to dispel the myth that a deviation fromstandard funeral procedures is illegal. “Peoplethink you have to use a funeral director; ahearse; and a coffin,” she says. “Actually,none of these are correct. A family can doeverything themselves.”
“People can be buried in their back garden,”adds Jeremy Smith, company director of London-based Green Endings. “There are very fewregulations.” How you say goodbye is asindividual as how you say ‘I love you’. How aboutfireworks, modified to incorporate the cremationashes to “allow for a spectacular memorialevent,” says heavensabovefireworks.com.
Bookseller Laurence Ginesi arranged a greenfuneral for his friend. “We didn’t want D’sfuneral to be based on faith alone – he alsohad a lifestyle that would have been ignored ifwe had opted for a generic service.” Familyand friends adorned D’s eco-friendly cardboardcoffin with photos, letters and drawings.
“D had a woodland burial and we planted atree in his memory. We played his favouritemusic and shared in the celebration of his lifein a way he would have appreciated.”
With green funerals, there is an opportunity totake a hands-on, approach to the ceremony. “We devised a ceremony and kept it simple,”says Jane Salvage, who gave her mother awoodland burial in an eco-pod coffin.
“I think there can be a sense of isolation inthe funeral process for many people,” saysJeremy Smith. “A green funeral keeps theemphasis on what is natural for the deceased,their families and the environment. We have agreen agenda in the sense of encouraging
A celebration of life
Kirstie Brewer looks at alternatives to a conventionalfuneral and finds an array of choices
[“Green funerals mark adefiant step away from ourcultural denial of death,ushering in the more joyfulnotion of celebrating a life”
• When a person has died, the first thing youwill need to do is to notify the family doctorand obtain a certificate of death
• Register the death at a registrar’s office
• Find the person’s will. If you can’t find one, thedeceased person’s solicitor may have a copy
• Check the will for any special funeral requests– then you can begin to arrange the funeral
• If you would like to arrange a woodlandburial, The Natural Death Centrerecommends asking the following questions:
What long-term guarantees for security of thegrave can the burial site offer you?What security is there for the maintenance of the site? What are the ecological principles of the site?
things to be organic and natural – mentally,spiritually and emotionally.”
The appeal of headstones and cremationswears thin when you consider the statistic givenlast year that our cemeteries could be full inthirty years, prompting a government proposal tointroduce ‘double-decker’ graves. And then thereis the news that a cremation uses enough fuel torun the average household for two weeks. Now companies like Ecocoffins form part of thegrowing trend for green funerals, through usingbiodegradable caskets and woodland burial sites.
Meanwhile, Hazel Selina’s company, Arka,makes eco-pod coffins from recycled material.“The shape itself of the traditional coffin hasbecome an archetypal symbol of the Hammerhorror movies and vampires,” says Hazel. “So I thought I would like to create somethingmore beautiful.”
Green funerals mark a defiant step awayfrom our cultural denial of death, perhapsushering in the more joyful notion ofcelebrating a person’s life rather than goingthrough the motions of a more melancholic,religious service. Freedom of choice, a senseof creativity and ethical responsibility can turna time of great darkness into something thatis, ultimately, life-affirming and healing.
Kirstie Brewer is a freelance writer. Contact her at [email protected].
– alternative funerals
]
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Explore Morocco with theRainbow Trust Children’s CharityJoin this fantastic five-day trekking challengeas we explore the HighAtlas mountains ofMorocco and thesummit of North Africa’shighest peak, MountToubkal. Experience themagic and mystery ofthis ancient Africankingdom and raise vitalfunds for families withchildren that have a life-threatening or terminalillness in your area.
The Rainbow TrustChildren’s charitysupports 1,000 familieseach year and our tworespite houses in Surreyand Northumberlandprovide a much-neededbreak for the wholefamily. Our familysupport workers spendtime with the family in their own home and are there to provide whateverpractical support is needed. They may attend hospital appointments withparents, sit by the bedside of the sick child to give parents a break ortake worried siblings out for the day.To take part in this once-in-a-lifetime trip and help raise funds for thefamilies in our care please call Anna on 01372 220022 or email her [email protected], or visit www.rainbowtrust.org.uk.
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012_W81_Ads 3/26/09 12:42 PM Page 2
wavegoesoutDiary dates from the world ofWave for the next month
AprilEvery Monday, Drop-in Meditation7.30–8.30pm, free of charge, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 279481, [email protected],www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
1st, Positive Thinking Course beginsThree sessions, 7.30–9pm, free. Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 279481,[email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
2nd, Practical Meditation for Beginners9.45–11.15am, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
4th–5th, The Fairy and The FlowertotsFollowing the huge TV success of the children’s hitseries, Fifi and The Flowertots, Premier Productions istaking the show on a national theatre tour throughout2009. The stage production follows Clairy Fairy, a fairywho is blown off course and lands in Flowertot Garden.Fifi (voiced by Jane Horrocks) and her Flowertot friendshave to help Clairy find her lost wand so she can mendher magic wings and return home. The enchanting 90-minute production is full of music, fun and audienceparticipation as Fifi, Violet, Primrose, Bumble, Stingoand Slugsy join together to help their new found fairyfriend. At the Capital Theatre in Horsham. Call 01403 750220 or visit www.thecapitolhorsham.com
4th–19th, Easter bunny huntCan you find all the Easter bunnies hidden around thegarden and orchard? Find them all and win a prize.Normal admission charges apply plus £1.50.10.30am–5pm, at Alfriston Clergy House, Alfriston,Polegate. Call 01323 870001.
4th–19th, Easter trailFollow the clues to find the Easter eggs hidden in thegarden and win a prize. Face painting and games aswell. Admission charges apply plus £2.50 for trail.11am–5pm (closed Thur and Fri, except Good Fri), atBateman’s, Burwash, Etchingham. Call 01435 882302.
4th–19th, Castle capersCostumed characters will give short talks in thecourtyard about life at a medieval castle. Plus achildren’s trail will be available. Normal admissioncharges apply plus £1 for trail. 10.30am–5pm, BodiamCastle, Bodiam. Call 01580 830196.
4th–5th, History in brassFind out how to make wonderful images from brass
17th, Change: be part of it To find peace you don’t need to go to a mountain top or acave. Sister Jayanti’s “joie de vivre” shows that thequalities of peace, happiness and love can be lived andexpressed in everyday life: at work, at home, on the tube.Her unique approach teaches us how to transform thecommon into the extraordinary. Sister Jayanti is a giftedmeditator who has spent over 40 years in the companyof some of the world’s most remarkable yogis. She isnow acknowledged as an international leading expert inthe field of meditation. Hear her speak, free of charge, atIET, 2 Savoy Place, London, WC2R 0BL, 6.30pm–8pm.
18th, CARE London to Brighton Cycle ChallengeCycle from London to Brighton in a day, enjoying theidyllic countryside along the way. A celebratory finish willawait at Brighton Pier and your efforts will be rewardedwith the knowledge that you are helping to break thecycle of poverty. www.carechallenge.org.uk/london2brighton. Call 0207 9349470.
19th, Seminar L-Z of Spirituality4.30pm–6pm, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
19th, World Peace Hour Meditation6.30pm–7.30pm free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
23rd, Practical Meditation for Beginners9.45–11.15am, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
25th April– 4th May, Grand Designs Live 2009Based on the hugely successful Channel 4 TV series,Grand Designs Live brings together over 500 exhibitorsand six separate shows from Design, Interiors,Technology, Building, Kitchens, Bathrooms, Gardens and our awe-inspiring Grand Village, offering visitors the chance to see the latest in design, self build, andsustainable living – all under one roof. Open daily from10am–6pm, at ExCeL London. One Western gateway.Royal Victoria Dock. London. E16 1XL. For more detailsand to book tickets visit www.granddesignslive.com orcall 0871 2305577.
25th, Dawn chorus walkExperience early morning at Sheffield Park and listen to the beautiful dawn chorus. Learn to pick out theirindividual songs with the help of our experts from theSussex Ornithological Society. £8 Booking essential.5am–7am, Sheffield Park Garden, Sheffield Park. Call 01825 790231.
25th, Workshops for Women; Everyday Intuition2.30pm–4pm, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
25th, Be The Change SymposiumThe Symposium brings together today's most pressingcollective concerns – environmental sustainability,social justice and our individual need to livemeaningful lives. It challenges us to look reality in theface, and asks us to boldly galvanise our personal andcollective will to change course. All change beginswith a vision, a dream of what is possible; using DVDinterviews, discussion and interactive exercises, TheSymposium offers us the opportunity to start creating anew and inspiring future for the whole of Earth’scommunity. 10am–4.30 pm. Age Concern Hall, Haywards Heath. £27.50, £22.50(concess), £15 (full-time students), inclusive of lunch.Prior booking call 01444 454208.
26th, Seminar M-Z of Spirituality7pm–8.30pm, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
28th, Experimental life drawing – a course An experimental approach to life drawing and paintingusing a wide variety of media and techniques. Ten-weekcourse. Sidney Walter Centre, Sussex Road, Worthing.10am to 12noon. £75. Contact Dudley Sawer on 01903 232746 for mor details.
30th, Life drawing and colourStudy of life drawing and applying colour. Ten-weekcourse, at Sidney Walter Centre, Sussex Road, Worthing.10am to 12noon. £75. Contact Dudley Sawer on 01903232746 for more details.
all! Special Baby Bunny Hunt for the under-fives. Bunnyhunting takes about an hour and you can start at anytime between 10am and 4.30pm. 10am–4.30pm. Adults£3.40 Concs £2.90 Children (3–15) £2.60. WildernessWood, Hadlow Down, E.Sussex, TN22 4HJ. Call 01825830509 or email [email protected]
14th, Survive in the wild What are the four things you need to survive? Find themin the woods! Hands-on activities to learn survival skills;light a fire without paper or matches to cookmarshmallows over. 10am–12noon.Children (8-13) £7.15 Adults £3.40 Please book.Wilderness Wood, Hadlow Down, E. Sussex, TN22 4HJ.Call 01825 830509 or [email protected]
14th, 20th & 27th, Spring Flower WalkExplore the countryside around Bateman's with theestate warden. Enjoy the beautiful scenery and discoverthe wild flowers that make a British springtime sospecial. £5, booking essential. 10.30am–12.30pm,Bateman's, Burwash, Etchingham. Call 01435 882302.
16th, Baby Bug Hunt (Three to six-year-olds) How many mini-beasts can you find hiding in the wood?Explore the woods and discover who they are and whatthey do. Make a model bug from woodland material totake home. 10.30am–11.30am. Please book. Children (3-6) £4.50 Adults £3.40. Wilderness Wood, HadlowDown, E. Sussex, TN22 4HJ. Call 01825 830509 or [email protected]
16th, Big Bug Hunt (Seven to 11-year-olds) Search in different areas of the wood for all sorts ofcreepy crawlies and find out how they live. Investigateyour favourite bug and make a book and a model fromwoodland materials to take home. 10.30am–12.30pm.Please book. Children (7–11) £6.50 Adults £3.40.Wilderness Wood, Hadlow Down, East sussex, TN22 4HJ.Call 01825 830509 or [email protected]
rubbings. Normal admission charges apply plus£1.50–£3.50. 11am–4pm, Bodium Castle, Bodium. Call 01580 830196.
4th–5th, Try on armourCalling all young knights and princesses! Try on replicaarmour and medieval clothes. Timed tickets available onthe day. Normal admission charges apply plus £1.12–4pm, at Bodium Castle, Bodium, nr Robertsbridge.Call 01580 830196.
5th, Seminar – K-Z of Spirituality7pm–8.30pm, free of charge, Brahma Kumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
6th, Woodland MonstersGo into the deep dark woods in search of a monster!Listen to his story, get camouflaged with masks to takehome, then follow the clues to his hiding place.10.30–11.30am & 2pm–3pm. Children three to six years,(adult must accompany) £5.35 Adult £3.40. Please book.Wilderness Wood, Hadlow Down, East Sussex, TN22 4HJ.Call 01825 830509 or [email protected]
7th, Raja Yoga Meditation Course beginsEight sessions, 7.30–9pm, free of charge, BrahmaKumaris, 20 Nevill Road, Hove. Call 01273 [email protected], www.bkwsu.org/uk/brighton
7th–19th, The Monster Easter trailThis year bigger than ever. Dress up as your favouritemonster, or just make one up, and have a go at theEaster trails. Normal admission charges apply plus£2.50 per trail. 10.30am–4.30pm, Sheffield ParkGarden, Sheffield Park. Call 01825 790231.
8th, Full Moon CeremonyThese monthly rituals will work to enhance the power ofthe full moon using the vibrations of incantation, chant,meditation, visualisation and intention.www.lilithrising.co.uk or call 01273 [email protected]
9th, Easter artistsWalk in the springtime woods to collect materials tomake woven baskets, fluffy bunnies and other Eastergifts from woodland materials and play Easter games.10.30am–12 noon and 2.15–3.45pm. Please book.Children (6-11) £5.75, adults £3.40. Wilderness Wood,Hadlow Down, E. Sussex, TN22 4HJ. Call 01825 830509,[email protected]
11th, 12th & 13th, Easter bunny huntWalk a little way into the spring woodland and search forthe Easter bunnies hiding among the trees, prizes for
013 > Wave goes out www.wavemagazine.co.uk
The Fairy andThe Flowertots
Spring flower walk
013_W81_wave goes out 3/26/09 12:42 PM Page 3
014 > Wave Services wave
Therapies
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TILTON HOUSE WORKSHOPSRETREATS ACCOMMODATION
Tilton House is a beautiful retreatcentre nestled in the South Downs.Surrounded by woodland and steepedin Bloomsbury history, it’s a deeplyatmospheric place. We run courses increative writing, yoga, etc, and nowoffer a self-contained artist’s retreat.Contact [email protected] orwww.tiltonhouse.co.uk or call: 01323 811570.
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Linda and Uwe Hirschberg
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ARE YOU SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS?
Tailor-madeweddingceremonies,personal funerals,blessings forbabies and
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Therapies and coaching
ANNIE LIGHTLYMEDIUM & HEALER
Demonstrations of mediumship.
Private sittings and Tarot readings atVits n’ Pieces (previously HealingLight) 33 East Street, Shoreham andat Borders Books, Churchill Square,Brighton.
See Annie at the Freedom FestivalsFair at The Hawth on Sunday, 24thMay and at the Spirit of theMillennium Festival at Hove Town Hallon Sunday, 31st May.
For further information on otherevents and bookings please call:
01273 206351
Ceremonies
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A mindfulness-based approach thatdraws both from modern Westernpsychotherapy and the wisdom andcompassion of Buddhist psychology. Fiveways. 07901 [email protected] Rivas is an experiencedcounsellor and senior MA studentwith the Karuna Institute.
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Gong therapy for mind and body
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For one-to-one and group sessions
Telephone: 07816 634047 Email: [email protected]
Next group sessions:2pm–3:15pm Sunday 5 April and Sunday 19 April£10 per person
Dynamic yoga studioTop floor, Unit 9The Old Perfume FactoryOff Fonthill Road, Hove, BN3 6HA(over footbridge by Hove Station)
014_W81_Directory 3/25/09 10:54 AM Page 2