we can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. - dalai lama...

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. - Dalai Lama NextNext MainMain Developing Skills for Psychosocial Health and Well-being This self-directed tool contains a series of 5 learning modules. By completing these exercises you will increase your ability to problem solve, manage anxiety, develop healthy social connections, and become a positive thinker.

How to Use This Tool 1. Complete the General Assessment to determine your area(s) of focus. o Be sure to record your results on the general assessment form. 2. Discuss your action plan with your coach. 3. Each learning module contains 5 activities.Each learning module contains 5 activities. o Read and learn about the key concepts. o Complete the activities o Respond to the reflection questions at the end of each activity. o Record your responses on the reflection form for each activity. 4. Contact your coach on the agreed upon date to discuss your responses and your progress.

General Assessment (click here first) (click here first) Building Problem Solving Skills 1 Promoting Positive Activities 2 Managing Anxiety, Grief, and Loss 3 Promote Helpful Thinking 4 Rebuilding Healthy Social Connections 5 NextNext MainMain

GENERAL ASSESSMENT The goal of this assessment is to determine your overall needs and concerns. By answering these questions you and your coach will identify and prioritize your needs and develop a plan for learning new skills. Click here to begin

Physical Health Do you have any concerns about your own or a family members physical health? None/low Moderate High Record your results

Emotional Difficulties Do you have any concerns about how you or a family member is coping emotionally? For example: depressed, anxious, scared, grieving or worried. None/low Moderate High Record your results

Safety Do you have any concerns right now or in the future about your own or your familys safety? o None/low o Moderate o High Record your results

Basic Necessities Do you have concerns about meeting the basic necessities of daily life? o None/low o Moderate o High Record your results

Substance Use/Abuse Do you have any concerns about your own or a family members use of alcohol or drugs, or the overuse of prescription medications? o None/low o Moderate o High Record your results

Role Functioning How well are you functioning in your daily life? For example: at home, work, school? o None/low o Moderate o High Record your results

Interpersonal Life How are you getting along with people, like your spouse/partner, family members, neighbors, friends, or people at work or school? For example: Anger; withdrawal? Record your results

Other Concerns Is there anything else that you are concerned about or want to share with me? (Describe) o None/low o Moderate o High You have reached the end of the general assessment. If you havent done so, complete the assessment form by clicking the link below. Save your results and submit to your coach. Record your results

1. Problem Solving Skills: Why are they important? Life isnt always easy. By having a strong set of problem solving skills, you will be able to better deal with problems as they arise. Instead of having everything build up, you can handle your problems head on. The following slides are designed to enhance your problem solving ability and give you a skill set that will help solve any conflicts you may encounter in the future. NextNext MainMain

Building Problem Solving Skills NextNext MainMain Solve the puzzle Power Breaking Down Conflict

1.1 The Difficult Conversations Guide The Difficult Conversations Guide provides you with a tool to map out a problem. By completing this guide you will reflect on your view of the problem and what you think the other person sees as the problem. There are always two sides to every story. Click here to learn more.here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 1.1 How to use the guide Think of a conflict you have recently had with another person. This could be with a family member, friend or coworker. Use the difficult conversation guide to map out the central elements of the conflict. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain Click here to complete guidehere

Reflection 1.1 What skill have you learned from this activity? How can you apply this skill the next time you have a difficult conversation? To write your response click hereclick here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

1.2 Mapping Conflicts Mapping out a conflict helps break it down so that the individual can visually examine all of the factors that contribute to the current problem. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

System-wide Mapping System-Wide Patterns We are all embedded within much wider systems Everyone affects everyone else Each system has an identity that is the sum of the individuals What types of systems can you identify? What human systems are you a part of? Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain Watch the "Power of Ten" video to learn more about systems.

Activity 1.2 How to Map the Conflict Using concentric circles, map out the different levels of your organization.concentric circles, Your map should look like a target. Try to create as many layers as you can. Imagine you are creating a system like the one you viewed in the Powers of Ten video. Now try to identify the challenges at each level of the system. Draw circles around the people who are allies (they support you). Draw a triangle around the people who you tend to find yourself in conflict with. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 1.2 Looking at the circled people notice where they are placed in the system. Do the same for the conflict triangles. What does this information tell you about where conflict exists for you in your system? How does conflict affect the whole system (your agency)? How can you use this tool to identify conflict on different levels within the organization? To write your response click here.click here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 ReflectionActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection Next Next MainMain

1.3 Breaking Down the Conflict Conflicts can be broken down from one large, into several smaller, more manageable conflicts. This helps you understand the size of the dispute and pick it apart. Viewing the conflict as a group of smaller components makes it easier to solve. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 1.3 Problems and Emotions In the center of the paper write one of the major problems that you have been dealing with and circle that problem. Now, coming from that circle, write down smaller components of the problem and the emotions that go with those components. Keep doing this until you think you have found some of the simplest, core problems that you have been dealing with. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain Central problem Sub problem

Reflection 1.3 Was it easy or difficult for you to see past the big problem you were facing so that you could see the smaller issues that were causing it? Now that you have smaller problems to face, does this make a possible solution come easier to you? Do you feel like you are now more in control of your circumstances? To write your response click here.click here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

1.4 Power and Problem Solving There are 4 types of power a person has in any given situation. Understanding your power as well as the power of others will give you an advantage when dealing with conflict. An easy way to remember these types is by using the acronym RICE.4 types power RICE stands for: * Resource control * Interpersonal linkages * Communication skills * Expertise These represent different sources of power. If used correctly they can be an asset, if abused, power can cause problems. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 1.4 Identifying Power Click here for an example of examining power and to complete the following exercise.here Understanding your power is important because it shows you where your strengths and potential weaknesses are. Think of a situation where you had a conflict with another person. List power for you and the other person. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 1.4 How does this tool assist you in uncovering the role of power in your conflict? What might you do to balance power in this situation so you can solve the problem together. To write your response click here.click here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

1.5 Clarifying Goals 1.5 Clarifying Goals Knowing what your goals are, stating them clearly to yourself, and communicating them in a flexible manner to others helps to diminish conflict escalation (Wilmot & Hocker, 1985, p. 96). Learn more about clarifying and assessing goals here.here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 ReflectionActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextNext MainMain

Activity 1.5 Setting Goals Provide two or three examples of difficulties or problems that you have faced. For each difficulty or problem think of one to three goals for each. Be sure to separate your goals into topic goals and relationship goals. Click here to complete this exercise.here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 1.5 How does clarifying your goals assist you in communicating your problem? How will you use this tool to assist you in managing conflict? To write your response click here.click here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Promoting positive activities ultimately promotes self care. The goal of promoting positive activities is to help you plan and engage in pleasurable activities that will help improve your mood and regain a sense of control in your life. Identifying, scheduling, and engaging in positive activities can improve your mood and re- establish a routine. 2. Promoting Positive Activities: Why are they important? Topic Info Activity 1Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Promoting Positive Activities 2.1 Identity2.2 Staying Actively Engaged 2.3 XYZ2.4 Positive and Negative Emotions 2.5 Time Management Main

2.1 Identity 2.1 Identity The key question in assessing identity is Who am I in this particular interaction? or How may my self-identity be affected in this situation?. Identity - The following statements often arise when people speak about themselves: likeable, expert, leader, trustworthy, best friend, enthusiastic. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Identity Model Activity 2.1 Think of a healthy activity to try out with a friend (e.g., going for a walk, listening to music, or going for coffee/tea). Take note of your thoughts and feelings during this time. After the activity, write a brief reflection on the emotions you experienced and your overall mood after the activity. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection Next Main

Reflection 2.1 Was your reflection helpful? Describe your emotions before the activity and after the activity. Was this activity helpful or not? Explain your response. Is there something you would do differently next time? To write your response click here.here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

2.2 Staying Actively Engaged When feeling overwhelmed or stressed it is easy to feel disconnected. However an individual can overcome this by remaining engaged in everyday activities. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 ReflectionNextMain

Activity 2.2 Staying Actively Engaged Make a list of experiences that you either have already found enjoyable in the past or that you feel might be enjoyable to try. Make a plan to fit some of these activities into your schedule. Making it a goal to try a new experience or get back into an activity that has been enjoyable in the past can really help you to see the positive in your life. These activities can be individual or with someone. Keep a daily journal that tracks your feelings after doing these activities, reflecting on who you did the activity with and what the activity specifically was. This will help you understand what activities are beneficial for you and what activities are not helpful and positive. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 2.2 How did the process of making a plan to try new things make you feel? Did the daily journal help you understand what activities are enjoyable for you? What kind of activities had a positive impact on your mood when doing them? Did any of your activities help rebuild connections with the people that you spent time with? To write your response click here.here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

2.3 XYZ Formula 2.3 XYZ Formula The use of the XYZ formula clarifies and helps you deal with conflict. This simple formula allows the parties to break down a complex situation into three components. When you do X In situation Y I feel Z more about the XYZ Formula Often times people may feel overwhelmed going into a group because they have conflict with one or more people in the group. This can often times stop a person from participating in enjoyable activities. The XYZ formula is a way to express yourself when there is a conflict. By addressing the conflict in a positive way it can often be resolved. This allows you to participate in social activities without uneasy feelings. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 2.3 XYZ Formula Below is an example of the XYZ formula: When you dont do your assignment(X) and we have a deadline at work (Y) I feel frustrated (Z) This response, taking responsibility for feeling upset yet letting the other person know what produced your feelings, is more likely to result in a constructive solution. Now think of a simple conflict you are currently in or have experienced in the past. Think about the response you had in the particular situation. Reword your response using the XYZ formula. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 2.3 Did breaking the conflict down into steps make it easier to resolve? Do you think it would always lead to a better reaction? Do you feel more confident to participate in group activity with this person? Why would being able to express your feelings help you get involved in positive activities? To write your response click here.here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

2.4 Positive and Negative Emotions When people feel good they are more likely to integrate new ideas, be flexible, and remain open to information. People who can distinguish between positive and negative emotions are better able to regulate negative emotions. The person who is flexible and open is more likely to live in a positive frame of mind. Emotions are very important and can affect the way you deal with difficult situations. If you have a good understanding of your emotions you are able to be a more effective communicator. If a person understands their emotions this can allow them to engage in positive activities. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 2.4 Positive and Negative Emotions Activity 2.4 Positive and Negative Emotions Think of a group and/or individual activity you recently experienced. What positive and/or negative emotions were linked with that activity? Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 2.4 Did you see any pattern with your emotions throughout the activity? Do you feel like you have a better understanding of the emotions you have and why you have them? What are a few ways you can deal with negative emotions better? What was it about the activity that led to these emotions? To write your response click here.here. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

2.5 Time Management 2.5 Time Management Making time for positive activities is a challenge. When colleagues are able to play together, they are more likely to clarify their life priorities, strengthen social ties, and build skills to express friendship. Team building can ultimately lead to people participating in positive activities. Building skills in time management will allow more time for positive activities. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 2.5 Time Management Track time spent in hourly increments for 2-3 days. Group time spent into categories such as Self care Work Social Family Individual Circle the positive activities in each category. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 2.5 Which of the activities you listed could be used for positive thinking? What made these positive activities? How can you free up more time to increase positive activities? Which activities did you like best? Why? Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main To write your response click here.click here

3. Managing Anxiety, Grief, and Loss: why is this important? 3.1 Identifying EmotionIdentifying Emotion 3.2 Triggers of EmotionsTriggers of Emotions 3.3 Feelings into wordsFeelings into words 3.4 Calming SkillsCalming Skills 3.5 Self-ForgivenessSelf-Forgiveness The purpose of managing reactions is to enhance skills to calm upsetting physical and emotional reactions to loss and stress. This is important because these kinds of reactions can impact physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Main

3.1 Identifying Emotions Link: Aristotles Golden Mean http://www.anus.com/zine/articles/draugdur/golden_mean/ http://www.anus.com/zine/articles/draugdur/golden_mean/ Often we realize we are upset (sad, angry, depressed), but we dont know why. It is important to pay attention to our emotions. It is unhealthy to leave these emotions unexpressed and dangerous to leave them unrestrained. It is important to find balance as moderating these emotions can bring many advantages. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 3.1 Emotion Record. List the emotions you experience for 5-7 days. Use the list of feeling words and be as specific as possible.. feeling words After recording all of your emotions, you will be able to identify which emotions are helping you and which emotions are impeding you regarding your ability to manage anxiety, grief, and loss. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 3.1 Can you identify any recurring emotions? If you can, then what are they? What emotions have you identified that are helping you and what emotions are impeding your wellbeing? What are usually the triggers of negative and positive emotions? How do you think you can anticipate and manage them more effectively? To write your response click here.click Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1 Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

3.2 Triggers of Emotions It is important to learn what triggers our emotions. Once we have identified how we are feeling, we can think about what caused the feeling. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1 Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Activity 3.2 the Case of Pamela and Baird What triggered Pamela and Bairds feelings? Is there more than one trigger? Pamelas mother had died a few months before. Her husband Baird went to the farthest end of the house and turned on the TV when Pamela cried. Several times Pamela told Baird that she needed comfort when she was so sad. Baird, however, felt extremely uncomfortable with Pamelas tears. He said once, when she asked for comfort, But theres nothing I can do. I am sorry your mother is gone but I cant change anything. Pamela felt more sorrow and loneliness at this point. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Sharing your thoughts and feelings Pamela: Baird, I know you care that my mother died and that I am so sad. But when you go to the den and turn on the TV when Im crying, I feel more lonely than ever. I start to tell myself that you dont care. Baird: I care a lot but theres nothing I can do. Pamela: There is a lot you can do. You can listen to me, hold my hand, tell me you are here for me, and that you are sorry Im feeling so awful. Baird: But thats not doing anything. I cant change anything and I feel helpless. Pamela: You can change a lot for me. I wouldnt feel so alone. I didnt know you felt helpless. Baird: Yes- I see you so miserable and feel awful that I cant do anything. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 3.2 How does sharing your feelings change someone elses response? Why is it important to let others know what you need? How do you feel about applying these skills for the future? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

3.3 Feelings into words Writing/Drawing: Allows you to organize and better understand what has happened, and communicate it. Teaches you to cope with memories and concerns more effectively. Helps to identify key concerns. Helps you control negative emotions and allows these feelings to be reduced. Helps with detachment of negative feelings. Source: www.telegraph.co.uk Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Activity 3.3. Writing Exercise Start writing about whatever is troubling you in as much detail as you can. Try to include detail about your feelings and things you may be thinking and saying to yourself. Try to keep writing for 30 minutes. Build in new helpful thoughts each time you do the exercise. Alternative: If you dont feel comfortable writing, you can also speak into a voice recorder, draw a picture, make a piece of art, or write a song/poem. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Reflection 3.3 What did you learn about the problem? Did this exercise provide a new perspective? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection Next Main

3.4 Calming skills When we are hit by a wave of negative emotions sometimes we need to wait for the wave to recede. However, there are things we can do while we experience the negative emotion. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 3.4 Calming Exercise Think of the negative emotion. Recognize that it exists. Dont judge it. Breathe in slowly Imagine a wave coming onto the beach. Exhale slowly as you imagine that wave washing over your negative emotions and carrying them back into the sea. Do this for about 5 minutes. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Reflection 3.4 How did it feel as you became aware of the negative emotion? Did you feel calmer as you slowed your breathing? How did you feel after you imagined your negative emotions being washed away? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

3.5 Self-forgiveness Sometimes our anxiety, grief, or loss is related to something we have done. It is important in these situations to forgive ourselves. It is sometimes more difficult to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. Self-forgiveness is difficult because it comes into conflict with our image of ourselves - the person we think we are and the person who caused someone harm. Self-forgiveness is necessary for healing. Topic Info Topic Info Activity1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 3.5 Looking for an Oasis There are times when the best thing to do is start the process of forgiving yourself. Please read the following case study: Looking for an Oasis (Hawk, Gary http://highered.mcgraw- hill.com/sites/0073135542/student_view0/chapter10/chapter_outline.html) Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Reflection 3.5 Self-forgiveness is essential when you feel to blame, or part of harm. Reflect on the best ways to heal, and forgive yourself. What would make it easier to begin the process of self-forgiveness? What does it mean to receive forgiveness from the family and forgive yourself? How does lack of self-forgiveness increase anxiety? To write your response click here.click here Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 ReflectionActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection Next MainNextMain

4. Promoting Helpful Thinking Main Responsible Expression Awareness Helpful ThinkingSMART Goals Positive Affirmations At times people produce negative thoughts that encourage negative emotions. It is important to identify these negative thoughts and practice more helpful ways of thinking that change mood. The goal for the following activities are to identify and practice more helpful ways of thinking.

4.1 Responsible Expression Negative thinking leads to negative emotions. It is important to express your negative feelings in a constructive way. When we dont express our negative emotions constructively it can damage our relationships. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 4.1 XYZ Formula Think of a situation in which you have been unable to express your negative emotion. Apply the following formula: When you do X (ridicule me) In situation Y (in front of others) I feel Z (humiliated) Topic Info Topic Info Activity1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 4.1 Do you feel that the X-Y-Z formula is a helpful way to express your emotions? Why or why not? How does this help your own well-being? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

4.2 Awareness In order for you to move toward positive thinking, you must be aware of your feelings and have a better understanding of how to handle your emotions. You can take the negative thoughts and feelings and turn them into positive thoughts and feelings. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 4.2 On the Flip Side Identify a situation in your life that is causing stress. Fold a piece of paper in half. On one half of the paper write down all of the negative feelings and emotions that come to surface when you think about the situation at hand. On the other half of the paper, write the feeling that is the opposite of each negative feeling (sad versus happy). Identify an activity you can do that would promote the positive feeling. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 4.2 After completing the activity, you should now have a better understanding of your negative emotions. How are you going to go about changing those negative thoughts to positives ones? How can you take the negative emotions and feelings you were not sure how to change, into positive emotions and feelings? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

4.3 Positive Affirmations Positive affirmations are helpful tools that promote positive thinking. This thinking prevents being overly self-critical or negative. It is important to know the difference between helpful and unhelpful thoughts. It is different than positive thinking. positive thinking. Try rehearsing some of these positive affirmations (click here) (click here) Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Activity 4.3 Moving from Negative to Positive Self-talk Think of a current situation in your life. Draw three columns on a piece of paper. Label them Pros (positive), Cons (negative), and Steps to be taken(ways to move from negative to positive self-talk). Once you have identified your positive and negative self-talk, develop steps you can take to change your negative to positive. Refer to the previous article for suggestions. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 4.3 Are any of my cons a fear or anxiety? Do any of my cons relate to my emotions? Which one of my pros are helpful? What are my thoughts as I approach new situations? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

4.4 Helpful Thinking The logic behind positive thinking.The logic behind positive thinking Click on the link above to learn more about the importance of positive thinking. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 4.4 Write down the negative thoughts you tell yourself. Brainstorm and write down helpful thoughts and rehearse them. Think how youre going to use the helpful thoughts in a situation where negative thoughts happen. Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4Activity 5 ReflectionNextMain

Reflection 4.4 In what situations do these negative thoughts most arise? How will you make your positive thoughts make an impact? After this you should be able to construct your negative thoughts into positive thoughts that work for you. To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

4.5 SMART Goals Setting SMART goals is a way to promote helpful thinking. Specific use concrete language to define your goal. Measurable How will you measure whether or not you are successful? Attainable Is this a goal you can reach? Realistic Are your expectations reasonable? Timely Is your goal focused on a present situation? Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Activity 4.5 Be SMART Describe a problem in your life that could be solved through creating a SMART goal. Be sure to apply each letter to your goal. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection NextMain

Reflection 4.5 Do you understand your goals better after using the SMART acronym? How will these goal-making skills help promote helpful thinking? Which of the SMART letters will be most difficult to follow through with? Do you think the SMART goal process is realistic for future use? To write your response click here.here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

5. Rebuilding Healthy Social Connections: Why is this important? This principle is essential to increase connections and gain positive support within the community. Healthy relationships are key to emotional and physical health after a stressful experience. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main Trip Goals Gridlocked Relationship Fostering New RelationshipsGridlocked RelationshipFostering New Relationships Relationship Development Looking Through a Lens

5.1 TRIP Goals Topic Relationship Identity Process This model identifies the types of goals individuals pursue for healthy relationships. For most people, there is a greater emphasis on relationship and identity goals. Our interests and goals can sometimes be difficult to identify, especially in emotionally charged situations. Using the TRIP model to identify the type of goal can lead to better problem solving and social interpersonal skills.TRIP model Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 5.1 TRIP Goals Create a map of your social connections. By mapping out the relationships you already possess, you can better identify your support network and understand who you can go to when you are experiencing distress. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 5.1 Were you surprised by the number or type of social connections that you already possess? How does this help your understanding of your support system? What can you address with your coach? How does the coach fit into your social connection map, and how are you used as a resource? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

5.2 Gridlocked Relationship A gridlocked relationship lacks movement towards a solution. As you are beginning to understand, your relationships are key to your well-being. Finding relationships that are in gridlock and finding ways to solve these problems will be an important step to take. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection Next Main

You Know Youre in Gridlock When Activity 5.2 Match the conflict scenario with the appropriate solution The conflict makes you feel rejected by your partner Your talk is devoid of humor, amusement, or affection Eventually you disengage emotionally or physically or both CONFLICT SCENARIOS Use productive conflict management styles, such as collaboration, to rebuild connections Re-evaluate your communication style Engage in descriptive language that focuses on building, trust, empathy, and honesty SOLUTIONS Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 5.2 After this activity, do you think you are able to recognize gridlocked relationships? Do you feel as though you have the skills to change those relationships? What will be the most difficult in working towards rebuilding healthy social connections? To write your response click here.click here Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

5.3 Fostering New Relationships 5.3 Fostering New Relationships Our lives change day by day and relationships come and go. It is important to continue fostering new relationships to build social connections as your life changes. Making yourself accessible to others is a key component in building relationships. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 5.3 Making Yourself Accessible Think of several strategies for meeting new people. Select one of those strategies and discuss how you would implement it. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Reflection 5.3 What are the pros and cons of your strategy? What are some of the challenges of implementing this strategy? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

5.4 Relational Development 5.4 Relational Development Rebuilding relationships can be rewarding to all humans. There is great importance in creating connections through a desire for mutual growth and empowerment. Power is shared equally within the relationship which eliminates competition between the parties involved. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Activity 5.4 Relational Development Make an action plan by setting short term and long-term goals in achieving healthy social connections. Talk with your coach and construct an action plan that focuses on healthy social connections and maintains a balance of power within the relationship. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

Reflection 5.4 What relationships need extra help? Who are the important people in your life you can fall back on should you get frustrated? To write your response click here.click here. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

5.5 Looking Through a Lens As when looking through the lens of a camera, people in relationship see things differently. Each person has a different view of themselves, the other person and the relationship. By seeing why other people act the way they do, it will help you view all of the perceptions of the situation Learn more about the lens modellens model Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Activity 5.5 Lens Model Using the Lens model describe a situation that you are involved in with another person. Explain your feelings about the situation and how important the relationship is to you. Now, write about how you think the other person feels and how they view your relationship in this particular situation. Topic Info Topic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5Reflection NextMain

Reflection 5.5 Did this activity help open your eyes to the three different elements of the lens model? Does the Lens Model help you look at your situation from the other persons point of view? How do you think the Lens Model will help you in the future? To write your response click here.click here Topic InfoTopic Info Activity 1 Activity 2 Activity 3 Activity 4 Activity 5 Reflection Next MainActivity 1Activity 2 Activity 3Activity 4 Activity 5ReflectionNext Main

SourcesSources This tool is the work of students participating in Comm 327 Interpersonal Conflict Management at Xavier University in Cincinnati, Ohio. It was designed to be used by coaches providing psychosocial support to international relief workers. Students relied heavily on material from their text Interpersonal Conflict by William Wilmot and Joyce Hocker; Boston: McGraw-Hill 2007. Information regarding Skills for Psychological Recovery were gathered from the National Center for PTSD and the Australian Centre for Posttraumatic Mental Health brochure.National Center for PTSD Australian Centre for Posttraumatic Mental Health brochure. Special credit to the authors of SPRauthors of SPR

we can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. - dalai lama...

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