CITY DEMONS

CITY DEMONS

1

Characters

Quinn, a 19 year old college Freshman from the country in Washington who loves the

paranormal. He’s adventurous but easily suspicious.

Max, a 21 year old, agender, self proclaimed “magic worker”. They’re bitter towards most

people and they have just recently started a romantic relationship with Quinn. They have an

eccentric personality and they might be hiding something. They go by any pronouns

Claire, a 21 year old demon hunter that works in a magic shop in the French Quarter

Setting: A hidden away house of the occult in the French Quarter in modern times New Orleans. The windows and doors are boarded up. There are cultish symbols carved and painted onto the walls and floors. There are candles and bones scattered about the place. It’s dark, dusty and old.

Act 1, Scene 1It is late at night. Police sirens and crowds are heard in the distance along with the faint playing

of a Jazz Band. An old Spanish style building looms in darkness with its windows boarded up.

Max Runs up to the building quietly, pulling Quinn close behind. The sirens get a bit louder

(in the background you can hear chaos from the police. One is heard clearly saying “oh

god! It’s mutilated beyond recognition!!)

QUINN

( Looks up at the building and pulls his arms away. He hugs himself, having second

thoughts about coming. His voice cracks as he speaks, obviously nervous.)

So this is the place huh?

MAX

( Grins at the building and then at Quin. Unlike Quinn, he seems quite excited and

enthusiastic)

You bet your immortal soul it is!

(he puts his hand on his hip, slinging the other arms around Quinn’s shoulder. He inhales

dramatically.)

Ahhhhh! Breath in that smell of decaying wood and plaster!

2

QUINN

(grumbles to himself, not taking his eyes off of the building)

I would rather not.

(he sighs, shaking his head)

Listen, Max, I’m not sure if-

(he’s cut off by Max)

MAX

Nope! It’s too late for going back, my oh so lovely romantic partner!

(he thumps his back hard, laughing. He strides off towards to door, stretching his fingers.)

You wanted to get this problem solves, yes?

QUINN

(he walks towards max but is careful not to get too close to the building)

Well- you see I-

(He is cut off by Max again)

MAX

It’s a yes or no question, Quinn. Be a dear and spit it out!

QUINN

(raises his hands in protest )

Okayokay fine- Yes I do. But when I went to for for help I didn’t know I’d be signing up for

this!!!

(he motions to the building with emphasis)

MAX

Sheesh! Looks like the newbie didn’t do his research before seeing me!

QUINN

Hey! Being new here has nothing to do with it- and neither does research!

3

MAX

So I suspect that this happens all the time in good ol’ California?

QUINN

Well- no. but- ugh. I don’t think I can go ahead with this.

MAX

Well, you’re gonna have to. Like it or not. Unless you want everything to turn to horse shit.

We’re on limited time man!

QUINN

(he huffs pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself)

But Maybe we could just wait until Claire gets here? Maybe?

MAX

Remember that she told us that she probably wouldn’t be able to make it.

QUINN

...right…

(he sighs)

Lets just- get this over with.

MAX

(he smirks)

Thought so!

(he grabs Quinn’s hand reassuringly, smiling at him. He pulls him gently towards the

door)

Now calm down. This whole place will be a lot less terrifying when you convince yourself that

you’re okay.

4

QUINN

(he bites his lip and nods, inching a bit closer to Max)

So, how do you suggest we get inside? The fact that everything is boarded up is kind of a setback

MAX

(hums for a bit in thought. After a few seconds of quiet, he looks up at Quinn and smiles

mischievously. He nudges him)

Hey! Hey Quinn!

QUINN

(he looks at him in curiosity at Max’s change of tone)

Hm? What?

MAX

Ever seen a five foot two tall magic working nerd break down a door?

QUINN

(He laughs, briefly forgetting his fears as he imagines Max attempting to do so)

Oh my God! You’re a twig, Max!

(he ruffles his hair)

Your little stick arms will snap in two!

MAX

Oh they won’t!

QUINN

(he holds back more laughter at Max’s unwavering confidence)

How can you be so sure though? Like- you pass out from the smallest little thing-

(He is cut off by Max yet again)

MAX

5

(Covers Quinn’s mouth, trembling in angry embarrassment as Quinn snickers behind his

hand)

Yes yes I know! Shut UP about it will ya?! Just. drop. it.

(he takes a deep breath, shaking with annoyance at both Quinn and himself)

QUINN

(he looks at him in shock, surprised that he hit an emotional nerve for him. He nods his

head yes in understanding)

MAX

(he sighs and takes his hand off of Quinn’s mouth, letting the issue drop. He leans against

the wall of the building)

Okay good. Thank you.

(he looks over at the door and knocks his hand against it)

The point is, is that I can get through this door without physical strength.

QUINN

Er- okay?

MAX

Ughh, just watch.

QUINN

(he opens his mouth to say something, decides against it and just nods)

MAX

(he smiles wide and nods, rolling up his sleeves. He takes a few steps away from the door

and stands in front of it, facing it. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, reaching his

hands out)

QUINN

6

(looks at him oddly and clears his throat)

Ermmmm. Max what are-

(Like before, Max cuts him off)

MAX

(He snaps open his eyes and shoots him a glare in annoyance.)

SHHHHH! SHUSH!

QUINN

(He jumps back, clasps a hand over his mouth and gives him a weirdly dramatic thumbs

up)

MAX

(he rolls his eyes and looks back at the door. He squints at it, muttering something under

his breath. His hands spark. The wooden boards on the door shake. Blue lines on it

appear like cracks on a window. The boards on the door soon shatter like glass and the

door behind it swings open with force. Max Grins widely at his work. He looks back At

Quinn with a look that says “I told you so”)

QUINN

(He is just looking at the scene before him slack-jawed, completely astonished. He hadn’t

really seen much of Max’s “magic working” abilities beforehand. Just a few party tricks.

He lets his backpack slip off of his shoulder and fall to the street)

MAX

(starts giggling, with breaks out into full laughter)

Oh GOD Quinn! Seriously?! You look so confused!

QUINN

Max it SHATTERED! Like GLASS! That isn’t PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!

MAX

Honestly, Quinn, SCREW PHYSICS!

7

(he chuckles, mumbling a-matter-of-factly)

I failed it anyway. And as you can see, it never mattered. Cuz I broke it.

(he turns around to the door and points at it and then at the shards of wood on the ground)

Right- right there. See? I broke it all over the place. Everywhere. See? It’s gone. Cuz it broke. I

did that. Amen.

QUINN

(lhe keeps looking down at the glass)

… Praise the lord… that was- very.. bizarre

MAX

I’m a bizarre person

QUINN

Good point.

(He snickers, combing his hair back with his fingers)

Welp. I guess I’ll go with it. Physically possible or not.

MAX

GOOD ANSWER! cuz’ you’re gonna have to get used to it!

(He pulls a flashlight out of his knapsack and clicks it on)

By the way you might wanna pick you bag up. Like right now. You’ll need it for inside.

(He looks down at the bag and then at Quinn)

And Because it’s sitting only about an inch away from a festering dead rat. Which is nasty.

QUINN

(Looks down at his bag and jumps a little at the sight)

Oh SHIT! NO!

(he snatches up his bag and looks at the rat and then at it in disgust)

8

Ugh… seriously. It better not smell of rat corpse.

(he brings the bag up to his face and sniffs it. He yanks it away and gags. He puts a hand

to his mouth)

Anddddd it does. Great.

MAX

Ahhh! Yes! New Orleans! Everyone’s in Hollywood dreamland! Complete with the lovely

corpses of sewer rats!

(He walks up to him )

Hey it can always be washed. But we got bigger things to do right now.

(He looks into the darkness of the house)

Like solving this monster issue. No pun intended, by the way.

QUINN

(he feels his blood freeze and he remembers why they were here. And where exactly they

were. He tenses up and grips his bag tight. He shakes a bit in anxiety. His breathing picks

up as he panics)

MAX

(He rests his head against Quinn’s shoulder and nuzzles it. He wraps an arm around him

gently.)

Hey, It’s gonna be just fine. Just deep breaths, man.

QUINN

(He looks down at Max briefly and then straight forward, feeling unsure. )

I- I’m not- I’m..

(he trails off in a state of panic)

MAX

9

(he frowns at him in concern. He briefly pulls away, which triggers a panicked gasp from

Quinn. He shushes him calmly as he opens his knapsack, pulling out a silk scarf.)

Shhh shhhh. It’s okay. Just hang on.

(he wraps the scarf around Quinn’s neck. He zippers up his bag and hugs Quinn close

again)

How about a rule for in here? We never lose physical contact unless you say so. Also, when you

get too jittery, just pull the scarf to your face and smell it. It Smells like my house and you said

that my house feels safe right?

QUINN

(He looks at the scarf and then at Max. He pulls the scarf to his face and smells it. He was

right. It did smell like his house. He smiles at Max )

You know I don’t need this, right? I’m a fully grown man and- yeah

MAX

Pfft! What does being a fully grown man have to do with anything? Everyone has fears and

anxieties. Children. Old folks. War vets. Men. Woman. Nonbinary folks. Everybody. And coping

skills are never to be thought of as weak. What I learned, what society feeds us about men and

fear is stupid. You can’t expect them to be fearless because in all the years of this world, there

has never been a person without something that scares them.

QUINN

(He looks at him and then at the building.)

What about you? Are you afraid of anything?

MAX

(he stares at him)

That isn’t important important. Don’t ask that question.

(He hums and pokes him in the chest)

10

We’re talking about YOU! Now What’s your favorite adventure movie?

QUINN

Ummmm. Pirates of the Caribbean?

MAX

Ooo yeah! Those are good! Which one? I’m a fan of two but number four is so bad-

(he’s cut off by Quinn)

QUINN

Yeah yeah I feel the same way, just get on with your point!

MAX

Oops yeah sorry. Got carried away. I just- I just love those movies.

(He coughs awkwardly)

We’ll continue the pirates conversation later. Anyhow, My point is that during this whole thing,

just imagine that you’re Captain Jack Sparrow. And That you’re looking for some sort of secret

hidden treasure to control the seas! Easy enough right?

QUINN

Pffttt okay. Yeah that one works.

(he hugs Max close)

Thanks Max. Im hot enough to be Jack, though.

MAX

(he nudges him.)

Yes you are. You’re actually hotter, now shut up. we’re going in.

QUINN

(He nods and bites his lip. He takes a deep shaky breath and smiles, pulling the scarf over

his face and slings the rat bag over his shoulder)

11

Welp. Okay. Let’s do this.

MAX

(he thumps him on the back, grinning. He kisses his cheek.)

Yes! Finally! He budges!

QUINN

(he rolls his eyes as they walk towards the door, smiling)

Whatever

Act 1, Scene 2

The interior of the house is dark and musty. Strange symbols are carved and painted on the

floors, walls and ceiling. The french style wallpaper is peeling off on some places. There are

some desks and bookshelves and tables covered in books of the occult, scripts and jars. Animal

bones, skulls and body parts are places here and there along with some strange herbs. The

floorboards creak when Quinn and Maz enter the house

MAX

(he is holding Quinn’s wrist firmly as they enter. He looks around and then back at Quinn

with a smile)

See? Not the bad right?

QUINN

(He frowns at him and turns his attention to all the symbols on the floors and walls. His

eyes widen with interest and moves towards them)

MAX

(Yelps as he stumbles, his hand still tight around Quinn’s wrist. He wasn’t expecting him

to move so much so suddenly.)

12

ACK!

(he grips onto Quinn’s arm to prevent himself from falling)

HEY! Careful Long Legs!

QUINN

(he huffs a brief laugh.)

Heh- Oops. Sorry.

(He Smiles sheepishly down at max and then looks back at the wall. )

Wow! Look at all of this stuff!

MAX

Woah woah woah! Hey wait, bucko! What about our rule-

(in a turn of events, he’s now the one who is cut off by quin. )

QUINN

(He nudges Max softly away and gets a pen and a notebook out of his bag)

Max, can you do me a favor and shine that flashlight on my notes for me please? Thanks

MAX

Woah, What?! Go ta’ bed!

QUINN

(Looks at him oddly, not understanding the slang)

Go- go to bed?-

(gets cut off)

MAX

(He raises his arms in exasperation)

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!

13

QUINN

Wha-

MAX

(he points to quinn, invading his space)

YOU-

(he makes choking noises in frustration)

SPENT ALL THAT TIME WUSSING AND FREAKING OUT ABOUT COMING IN HERE

AND NOW YOU’RE JUST PRANCING AROUND LIKE YOU OWN THE DAMN PLACE!

In short; WHAT THE HELL, CHILD?!

QUINN

Well- it’s actually not that bad- There’s a lot of cool symbols and stuff that I’ve only read about

online and-

MAX

(He fakes enthusiasm)

And it has the lovely mixed aroma of incense and dead rat! Oh boy! oh boy!

QUINN

But max-

MAX

AND NOT JUST DEAD RAT, MY FRIEND! ALSO DEAD PERSON! WHO HAS BEEN

FESTERING FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEA-

QUINN

Hey hey hey! Hold up!

(he turns to him)

14

I thought you DIDN’T want me to panic! You should be happy that I’m enjoying myself!

MAX

(He looks at him puzzled for a few seconds. He sighs then smiles at him, shrugging)

Well then, It seems like you won’t be needing my scarf. Hand it over.

(He reaches out his hand for it)

QUINN

(he pulls it up over his face, taking a step back, seeming a bit panicked at the loss of it)

What, No!

MAX

(he laughs)

That’s what I thought, you dork.

(He shines his flashlight on Quinn’s pages for him)

QUINN

Heh- thanks-

(he starts scribbling the symbols down in his notes)

Well you did tell me to think of myself as Jack Sp-

MAX

Captain

QUINN

(huffs a laugh)

Right. Captain Jack Sparrow. Anyhow, this scarf is like his “jar of dirt”, ya know?

MAX

15

Fair enough.

QUINN

(peers closer at the symbols, a strange one catching his eye)

Huh.

(he takes a step closer)

I wonder what that one with all the eyes means.

MAX

Hm?

(he looks up in curiosity)

Oh yeah! I know what it means.

QUINN

(he looks down at him in surprise)

Wait- Really?

MAX

Well- yeah. Duh.

QUINN

(he looks at him with anticipation and back at the symbol with excitement)

Well, what does it mean?

MAX

Simple!

(he clears his throat)

it means- DON’T USE THIS SYMBOL BECAUSE BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN!

QUINN

16

I thought you actually knew! You got me all worked up for nothing, you weirdo!

MAX

Oh I do know! I just don’t want to chance the possibility of you using it if you knew.

QUINN

Oh really? Because right now, you seem like an eccentric quack.

MAX

Not even ten minutes ago, I shattered a wooden board with my mind! You really think I’m a

quack? I don’t have annoying tourists showing up at my door for nothing.

QUINN

(he pauses for a few beats, thinking it over)

Good point.

(he sighs, looking down at him. He smirks.)

That in mind, you have to be one of the strangest boy- um girlfriends- boyfriends? I’ve ever had-

what should i call you-?

MAX

( He puts a hand on Quinn’s cheek)

Quinn, hun, sweetie, angel face. we’ve been dating for almost a week. I told you That I’m

agender. I don’t count myself as a boy or girl.

(he pauses, letting his hand drop)

Or anything else for that matter. Except agender. Which is no gender.

QUINN

Oh- um yeah. Sorry about that. It’s just hard to remember. If you don’t mind- What should I

refer to you relationship wise?

MAX

17

Just partner is fine. Although, I encourage you to get creative with it too. Like date mate is also

acceptable. Or SUPREME RULER OF ALL-

(he gets a strange look from Quinn and coughs)

But yeah just partner is fine.

(he fiddles with his flashlight)

Actually, I’m surprised that we didn’t discuss it earlier.

QUINN

It’s fine. Our, eh, getting together was kind of sudden and awkward anyway.

(he laughs a bit and looks down)

Sorry again about the misgendering thing-

MAX

(he cuts him off with a soft peck to the lips)

It’s all okay, my dude! I wouldn’t expect you to nail it right away, ya know? It can take a hella

lotta time. At least you’re at least TRYING.

QUINN

Heh- you’re so sweet.

MAX

(he nudges him)

Hey! Shush! Its called being a decent person!

QUINN

Well you’re not a decent person to most people

MAX

nnnnnnnnERRRRR- fair point. But another fair point is that most people don’t deserve decency.

(he grumbles, his eyes wondering, as he roams about)

18

QUINN

What do you mean?

MAX

Nevermind.

(he takes Quinn’s hand.)

Lets just hull ourselves upstairs, huh? There should be a big ass library there where we can find

something.

QUINN

(yawns, tiredly)

sure.

MAX

You seem less excited about this than I expected. Aren’t you like, a bookophile or something-

QUINN

WAIT WHAT?!

MAX

(lets go of his hand and runs up the stairs)

NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW

QUINN

(he stands there exasperated for a few seconds before yelling)

I AM NOT A BOOKOPHILE!

MAX

(yells)

JUST GET YOUR ASS UP HERE, MAN!

19

QUINN

OH GOD MAX WHEN WE GET HOME I SWEAR-

(runs up after max)

MAX

OH QUIT WHINING!

Act 1, Scene 3

Opens up to both Max and Quinn in the library. A few hours have passed and both of them are

surrounded by books and scrolls of the occult. Quinn in sitting cross legged on the floor, a big

well-thumbed book in his hands. Max is sprawled out on the floor, only about a foot away. A

few books and scrolls cover his stomach. It looks like he has given up.

QUINN

(yawns and looks at his phone to check the time and yawns.)

Well, we’ve been looking through these books for three hours and the only thing I found that’s

even remotely related to this is a guide on what types of country music's best to play while

summoning demons.

(He looks over at Max.)

Did you find anything?

MAX

I found your mom.

QUINN

I’m serious.

MAX

20

So am I.

QUINN

(he shuts the book and smells his shirt and makes a face, coughing)

I’m pretty sure that dead rat smell rubbed off on me.

MAX

Eh. You get used to it.

(he sits up and cracks his back)

Oh good Lordy.

QUINN

(he buries his face in his hands)

I highly doubt that I could ever get used to that. Ughhh. I’m so close to just hopping on the next

streetcar and going back to Claire’s. Speaking of which, I was hoping that she would have came

to meet us by now.

MAX

Eh. She’s a busy person. Ya know, sitting in that magic shop all day. Selling magic.

(he yawns)

But, hey man, I hear ya. But it’s not like we can just give up. Lets just look around for a smidge

longer.

QUINN

Ugh fine.

(he looks around)

I’ll go through That bookshelf and how about youuuuuuu

(he sees an old cubby in the wall)

Peek around in there.

MAX

21

(he turns his head and squints at the cubby)

Have the tiny weak person look in the terrifying cubby. Wow how kind.

QUINN

Psshhh shut up

(he laughs, getting up and going to the bookshelf. He pokes around through the books. He

grabs one and opens it)

You’re the one who brought me here in the first place. And Besides. You have magic.

MAX

(gets up and walks to the cubby)

Heh- ya got me.

QUINN

And the tables have turned! I feel like I’ve accomplished something!

(his phone starts ringing and he checks it)

Oh- hey its Claire!

(he answers)

MAX

If she asks, we got kidnapped by ancient mutant salamander people and they’re training us to

fight as one of them in the final battle between good and evil.

QUINN

Pfttt shut up

CLAIRE

(her voice is audible through the phone so the audience can hear it)

I really hope that’s not the case.

QUINN

(he turns his attention back to here)

22

Oh- Hey Claire! Sorry about that! Nah- we’re salamander free. We’re fine.

CLAIRE

Okay Good. With Max you can’t really tell. If anyone we’re to cause you to get mixed up with

mutant amphibious warfare, it would be him.

MAX

Oh shut up!

CLAIRE

Hello to you too Max. So, how are you guys coming along with finding our solution?

QUINN

To be honest, besides finding a weird association with demons and country music, neither of us

had had much luck. We’ve been in this place for hours and I’m beginning to feel that this was a

waste of time.

CLAIRE

Ughhhh seriously???

MAX

(he walks up to Quinn and snatches his phone away)

Ya know, Claire, we would PROBABLY be having more luck if you were here actually helping

us!

CLAIRE

Yes, I know Max! But you’re not the one living on minimum wage. Demon invasion or not, I

need income to live! I already took too much time off with that poltergeist in the bathtub mishap

last month.

MAX

Which I told you I could take care of by myself!

23

QUINN

Does- stuff like this happen often here?

MAX

You’re surprised?

CLAIRE

Dude, there ended up being a whole damn family of them in there! It’s not like you could have

anyway!

MAX

You don’t know that!

QUINN

Hey hey hey! Guys! Calm down!

(he takes his phone back)

Geez! Let’s just get back to work!

MAX

(he rolls his eyes and walks back to the cubby. He yanks the door open, only to have a

big old corpse covered in spider webs fall on top on him. It’s large enough to pin max

down. He screams as he falls to the ground)

HOLY WHAT-

(he gets a better view of it)

well that’s special.

QUINN

(he turns around quickly and gags when he sees the corpse on top of max)

Oh- oh god. Is that a dead body? Please tell me that’s not a dead body?

CLAIRE

24

OH MY HECK WHAT?!

MAX

It’s dead body. Definitely a dead body.

(he squirms a bit)

A little help?

QUINN

Oh, yeah! Sorry!

(he holds the phone to his ear)

Sorry Claire! I’ll call back later!

(He hangs up before she can say anything. He goes over to Max and stops)

Wait- um- how? How do I, um, you know? Move the- yeah?

MAX

JUST PUSH IT OFF! Ya know, with you hands?!

QUINN

…. Right.

(he crouches down and gags)

Oh-god-it’s-worse-up-close!

MAX

QUINN!

QUINN

SORRY!

(he pushes it off)

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

(he wipes he hands on his pants)

25

MAX

Ughhh thanks

(he sits up)

It much worse when it’s squishing you. Believe me-

(he notices a pendent around the corpse’s neck)

QUINN

I’ll gladly take your word for it.

(he sighs)

I guess that cubby didn’t work out. I guess we need to look somewhere else-

MAX

No we don’t.

QUINN

What?

MAX

(rips the pendant off)

We don’t have to look anywhere else!

QUINN

I’m guessing that’s important.

MAX

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! May the dork with the rat bag please come to the front to

collect your prize!

QUINN

Pfft- so what is it? Or are you still not going to tell me?

26

MAX

Hold your horses! I was about to!

QUINN

Lay it on me

MAX

Pftt. You seem so chill. Okay so this-

(he holds it up)

Is a soul balancer. Creatures like demons are not normally able to take form in the physical

world. What the soul stabilizer does is that it stores part of its soul so that a demon can have a

physical body here without need of possession. Without it, The physical demon would crumple

up and die and their souls would be let loose into the metaphysical world. An earthy body can

simply not hold a soul with that much energy.

QUINN

(he carefully takes it and inspects it)

So there's part of a demon’s soul in here?

MAX

Most likely.

QUINN

Then why was the guy wearing it?

MAX

(he rests his head against Quinn’s arm)

Demons usually either hide its soul balancer or they give it to a guardian to protect. Old smelly

there’s probably it’s guardian.

QUINN

27

Huh… Wait- does that mean that if we find all the soul whatevers-

MAX

Balancers

QUINN

Whatever- if we find them and destroy them, does that mean that the demons that are attacking

the city will die?

MAX

Yep!

QUINN

Alright! Sweet! So let’s just find them and destroy them and then everything can go back to

normal!

MAX

As normal as this town can get anyway.

QUINN

Heh- so do you have any idea where the others are?

MAX

Hmmm..

(he looks over at the body and takes a look at the robes that it’s clad in. )

I gotta hunch

(he grabs Quinn’s hand and drags him out)

Luckily, I don’t think we have to go so far. You’ll need the car though.

(they leave the room)

28

QUINN

Okay- but for the sake of public safety, I’m driving

Act 1, Scene 3

They arrive in an old, run down music hall. Max picks the lock and heads inside with Quinn

close behind. There's a jukebox in the corner and a bunch of pictures and signatures of Jazz

musicians on the walls as well os trumpets, trombones and an assortment of other instruments on

display.

QUINN

(looks around, rather baffled)

Here?

MAX

(he turns around at him, looking baffled)

Yeah?

QUINN

Why?

MAX

I think the leader really liked this place.

(looks around)

Maybe he used to own it? I dunno.

(he flips on his flashlight and shines it in Quinn’s face)

QUINN

Pfft! Stop that!

(he swats him away)

So you think the balancers are really here?

MAX

29

I bet my life on it-

(he pauses)

Which I actually kind of am, now that I think of it. If we fail, we’ll probably die.

QUINN

Well that’s- comforting?

(he coughs)

So what’s the deal? Why wouldn’t they be at the cult house? Like in case of a break in and raid

on it?

MAX

Most likely.

(he starts poking around to try and find the balancer hiding space)

Ughh! I know they’re here! Now where are they!?

(he lifts the top of a piano)

NOPE!

QUINN

(he starts looking through the bar area)

Ya know, this place is pretty damn cool. Not just this building but this whole area you know?

I’m gonna have to get all my friends from Cali to move here.

MAX

(he pauses in the middle of what he’s doing)

...What?!

QUINN

Yeah, I mean, after we get rid of all of the demons, this place will be great! There are some

cheaper houses around here that they can get, and now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure I read

that there’s gonna be a Trader Joe’s opening up around here.

30

MAX

Please tell me you’re kidding me!

QUINN

Huh? What? No!

MAX

UGH! I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!

QUINN

Excuse me?!

MAX

You really don’t get it, do you!? You really don’t. THESE-

(he motions to the entire room)

Aren’t the demons I’m worried about! These demons I know how to handle!

QUINN

What the hell are you going on about!?

MAX

Oh of course you wouldn’t know! You’re NEW here! In fact, you’re part of the problem! Not

you specifically but ALL OF YOU as a whole coming here!!

QUINN

Sorry, but how exactly is that a problem?!

MAX

Gentrification, my friend! The word is gentrification!

31

QUINN

What?

MAX

Let me put this into our little perspective, eh? Okay. First of all, ya’ll think that you're doing this

righteous thing by moving here, huh? Comin’ here. Buying a Cheap house in the ninth ward or

some other poor class neighborhood.

(he mimicks excitement)

Oh look! Because you can afford stuff, prices are getting higher! New Orleans is making so

much good money! La-de-da! The west has single handedly saved the famous city of New

Orleans Louisiana!

(He drops the face excitement and looks at him, annoyed)

Pffft. Yeah right.

(there’s a few beats of silence)

MAX

Yeah, no. Its Not saved. The poor people? Yeah, they’re not saved. Because remember those

rising prices? Now The people in the POOREST neighborhoods can’t afford to pay for simple

things like food and clothes. Hell, they can’t even pay for their house. So you know what

happens? They get kicked out. They live on the streets while these “saviors” live like kings in

their houses. And then these “angels from the west” complain about homeless people in the city.

Yeah I wonder why that is.

( he turns to Quinn, shaking with rage. A few sparks fly off of him as the room grows

darker.)

These- DAMN PEOPLE! Are RUINING us, Quinn! Not only are they chasing people out-

They're trying to take control of our culture! They hold second lines for people who aren’t even

from here! You see people that try and give a new definition to everything we do, and they don’t

know squat about it! They try to blend into our culture with using only what the media feeds

them as a guide. You see these people out in the streets, trying to perform “classic nola music”

but all they're doing in embarrassing themselves- We’re just seen as ENTERTAINMENT! DO

32

YOU KNOW HOW MANY DAMN GHOST HUNTING SHOWS HAVE SHOWED UP AT

MY DOOR TO TRY AND MAKE ME THEIR NEW “HOLLYWOOD TOY?!”

(it gets darker and some things shake and fall off of the shelves. A large wine glass

crashes by quinn)

QUINN

(he screams, startled. He jumps back)

MAX! CALM DOWN!

MAX

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND

QUINN

(he walks up to Max, shaking and he hugs him close. He’s obviously terrified)

I’m sorry Max… I- I didn’t know..

MAX

( The room gets lighter again and the sparks die down)

It hurts like hell to see, Quinn.

QUINN

It must… I’m so sorry..

MAX

Thanks… just these demons-

(he pulls away)

Are just a temporary problem. But they’re nothing compared to this.

QUINN

33

I bet... But hey… let’s break the rest of these balancers and then we can plot revenge on

everyone, alright?

MAX

Sounds great. Ughh but first we actually have to find the rest of them.

QUINN

(he frowns, letting his eyes scan the place. He gets an idea)

Stay here.

(he heads out)

MAX

(he looks at him with exasperation)

WOAH WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

QUINN

(he comes back with an axe from his car)

Don’t worry about it. I have an idea.

MAX

Where the hell did you get the axe!?

(he runs up to him)

QUINN

from my old house. I had it in my car.

MAX

Wha-

QUINN

34

(he heads up to the stage and takes a deep breath. He starts hacking away at it)

MAX

Oh great. He’s gone insane. YOU’VE GONE INSANE, QUINN! AND THAT’S ME

TALKING!

QUINN

Mmhmm. Okay max.

(he finishes hacking it open and grins)

Help me pry these boards off!

MAX

(he runs over)

You actually found something!?

QUINN

Don’t look so surprised!

MAX

(he ruffles his hair)

Good job!

(he helps him rip the wood out.)

(they soon pull all the wood away)

QUINN

(he grins and pulls out a bag of souls balancers. He empties it out on the floor)

WOO HOO!

MAX

35

(grins and hugs him tight, kissing him)

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, BUT YOU DID IT!

QUINN

Pfffttttt! Give me a bit more credit!

(he pulls out the one in his pocket and puts it by the others)

MAX

Haha! Okay okay! Fine! I always believed in you, dork. Now take out that axe and let’s smash

these!

QUINN

Sure thing- oh wait

(he pauses)

I think I have one more, just a sec

(he digs in his bag and pulls out another soul balancer. The color of the stone in the

middle matches Max’s hair)

Almost forgot about this one-

MAX

Where did you get that?!

QUINN

Huh?

(he looks over at him)

I found it in your house a while after we met- I didn’t know what it was then but-

MAX

(cuts him off, exasperated)

SO YOU JUST TOOK IT?!

36

QUINN

It looked important!

MAX

IT IS IMPORTANT!

QUINN

Well- yeah, I figured

MAX

(he lunges at him)

GIVE IT TO ME, QUINN!

QUINN

(he struggles to keep at away)

WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR ONE SO BADLY!?

MAX

(struggles to get it back. He starts to spark a bit like before)

YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND! I NEED IT!

QUINN

(he pushes him off and grabs the other balancers, running to another part of the room by

the jukebox and some large vents on the floor. He stares at him in horror)

W-WHY DO YOU NEED IT!?

MAX

(picks himself up off the ground, growling)

QUINN!

QUINN

37

YOU’RE ONE OF THEM AREN’T YOU!?

MAX

(he takes a step forward)

Just- LISTEN TO ME!

QUINN

NO! YOU’VE BEEN USING ME THIS WHOLE TIME!

MAX

I HAVEN’T!-

QUINN

YOU JUST WANTED TO GET A HOLD OF THE REST OF THE BALANCERS SO YOU

COULD PROTECT YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS AND CAUSE CHAOS WITH THEM!

MAX

(he takes another step forward)

Quinn- Please, think about it- YOU’RE MAKING NO SENSE!

QUINN

I’M MAKING NO SENSE?! YOU NEVER MAKE SENSE!

(he tosses the bag to the ground, ready with his axe)

MAX

(he lunges at quinn again, this time, almost sobbing with fear)

Stop! Quinn Please!

QUINN

YOU HAVE A BALANCER! YOU’RE A DEMON!

(He tries to push him off)

38

Max get OFF!

MAX

JUST LISTEN TO ME!-

QUINN

MAX, JUST-

(he accidentally kicks the balancers into the vents and falls into the jukebox. The song

“Before he cheats” by Carrie Underwood starts playing. He watches in horror)

… shit.

MAX

UGH- SERIOUSLY QUINN!

(he yanks the axe away from him and tosses it to the side)

I REALLY thought you had more brains than that…

(he sits on the floor with exasperation)

Demons aren’t the ONLY creatures with soul balancers, ya know!

QUINN

H-huh?

MAX

As a magic worker, I NEEDED that to actually live! Otherwise the concentration of magic

energy would tear my body apart!

(he throws his arms up in exasperation)

NOW IT’S AT THE BOTTOM OF A STINKY VENT WITH A BUNCH OF STANK ASS

DEMON SOULS! NOW WE’RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEND MORE TIME FINDING THEM!

QUINN

Oh-

(he laughs awkwardly)

39

Erm… oops…

MAX

Ugh…

(he buries his face in his hands)

Oops is right…

QUINN

(he crouches down by max, putting an arm by him.)

Max.. I am so, so sor-

(he’s cut off by demonic snarling and other demonic sounds)

MAX

Umm… Quinn?

QUINN

(he clears his throat)

Yeah, Max?

MAX

Carrie Underwood wouldn’t happen to be one of the top country singers that attracts demons,

would she?

QUINN

… heh.. Um. funny story. Would you believe that she is?

(Large demonic shadows are cast upon the scene as well as their snarls and growls)

MAX

Yep. I would believe it.

40

(There’s a large BOOM as The demons surround the shop, scratching to break in)

QUINN

Shit.. I was not planning to die today.

MAX

Well..

(he gets up and grabs the axe. He hands it to quinn)

Might as well die while giving them a damn good fight.

QUINN

(huffs a weak laugh and takes it.)

Might as well-

(He’s cut off by the glass shattering. Some of the glass hits Max and he falls to the floor.

Quinn instantly drops his axe and runs over to him)

QUINN

(he holds him close, shaking. He takes off the scarf and wraps it around him)

Oh- God Max! No!

MAX

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!

QUINN

Oh shut it- We’re going to die anyway… Holding you while we die is the least I could do after

what I’ve done..

MAX

41

(he opens his mouth as if to protest more but closes it, deciding not to. He puts a hand on

his shoulder)

Quinn…

(More glass shatters and the demons enter the room. Their shadows casting over them)

QUINN

I’m sorry

(he holds them close and they hug as the demons get closer. For a few beats, time seems

to slow down. All of a sudden, a blast of water sprays into the room and over the demons. They

sheik and escape. Its quiet for a few beats as the two look towards the door in shock. Through the

rubble, a 20-some year old girl with dark red hair and two water blasters enters the room. She

looks simultaneously out of breath and unamused. It’s claire)

CLAIRE

(she tosses the blasters at them)

You forgot your Holy water guns at home-

MAX

… Thanks Claire

QUINN

Those- would have some in handy.

CLAIRE

Oh, you think?!

(scene fades to black as the act ends with both Quinn and max staring at claire)

END

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