WELCOME to Seminar 7We will begin on time. Meanwhile, enjoy

chatting.

Never compromise a dream. Do what you must. The fears, beasts, and

mountains before you are part of the plan. Stepping stones to a promised land. To a time and place that is so

much closer than even you expect. So don't let your eyes deceive you, for even as you read these words, your

ship swiftly approaches…Mike Dooleywww.tut.com

It’s SHOWTIME!!!!!!!

Welcome to Seminar #7

How is everyone today? How was

your week?

Unit 7 Work

• Seminar

• Readings

• Journal

• Discussion

• No Project

• Grammar Review

The Return• The road back can be just as difficult as the

journey out.• Sometimes the hero is supported by

supernatural powers during the return journey. At other times, it seems like all the powers of the world are working to prevent the hero’s return.

• This is where the hero may need to revise the path and where a mentor becomes very important. Campbell (2008) tells us that “the hero may have to be brought back from his supernatural adventure by assistance from without” (178).

Journal• This week, you are helping to mentor your

classmates by offering them advice on improving their drafts.

• Has anyone ever served as a mentor to you or have you yourself served as a mentor to someone else?

• Describe a specific situation where you were either a mentor or someone being mentored, focusing on how this experience was helpful to both you and the other person or people involved.

• Each Journal assignment should be at least a paragraph of around 150 words.

Grammar Review• This week’s grammar review will help

you with avoiding problems with sentence structure. Making sure that your sentences are clear and effective will ensure that your audience understands your ideas. If sentences are wordy, repetitive, or have other structure problems, that means that the audience will probably be distracted away from your ideas or will be confused, which is never a good thing.

Discussion Main Post• The main post contains two

parts.

• 1) Paragraph

• 2) Your Draft

• You will not be able to complete the Unit 7 discussion if you have not written the draft of the final project that was due at the end of Unit 6.

Main Post• 1) Paragraph

– Write a paragraph explaining what you see as the strengths and weaknesses of your draft.

– What is your plan to make the draft stronger?

• 2) Your Draft• Post your draft by attaching or copying and

pasting it.• The title page is not needed.• Do not post a graded version with

comments. Post a clean copy. Grades and comments are personal.

Responses to Others• Review two classmates’ drafts.

• Do not review a classmate’s draft if that person has already received two peer reviews.

• This will guarantee that everyone gets helpful advice.

• Must be at least 100 words • Must offer advice for improvement.• Do not discuss yourself. The purpose

of this is to help your classmates.

Suggestions for Responses• Did the draft have a clearly written thesis?

• Topic + point

• Did the rest of the draft discuss the thesis or did it wander off topic?

• Did the draft have at least three paragraphs?• Did the paragraphs flow?• Was the draft written in 3rd person?• Were two sources used and cited in the text in

APA format?• Were all sources documented in APA format on

the references page?

What makes an introduction good?

Basics of a good introduction: 1) Catch readers' attention. 2) Includes the essay's thesis statement.

The introduction is the hook, which makes the readers want to continue reading.

Remember: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

Do Not “Announce”

Nothing is more boring than saying: "I am going to tell you about..." OR "My topic is...." OR "My essay will explain..." OR "In my essay, I will give the reasons for…."

This is announcing. DO NOT ANNOUNCE. Instead, lure your

readers into wanting to read more.

An Introduction Is Not the Same as a Thesis Statement An introduction is the first

paragraph of your paper. Your introduction must

INCLUDE your thesis. Think of your introduction as a

way to “sell” your essay. Ask yourself: How can I get

my readers to want to continue reading?

Where does the thesis belong?

Your thesis statement should be the last sentence of the first paragraph.

Ideally, the thesis should be the end of the introduction and the transition into the overall theme of the essay.

What are some of the techniques you can use to introduce your paper?

“Jazzy” Introductions

• Definition• Background Information• Surprising Fact• Quotation• Story• Opinion• Questions• And others

“Jazzy” Introductions• The sample introductions will be based

upon a police shooting in Fort Myers, Florida, back in 2007.

• The facts used were based upon local newspaper reports.

• The officers were cleared of wrong doing.

• Do not get distracted by the story. Instead, note the techniques used.

• For your essay, you need only ONE introduction. You can choose which ever type best fits your topic.

• The last sentence is the thesis.

Definition

• A grand jury is a special kind of jury. Instead of deciding the innocence or guilt of a suspect, a grand jury decides whether there is probably cause that the suspect has committed a crime and whether the case should be brought to trial. Only certain types of cases are brought before a grand jury, cases such as police shootings and first degree murder. The February 2, 2007, shooting of Ernest Weston by Fort Myers, Florida, police officers is such a case. Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, the grand jury will recommend whether or not the police officers should be brought up on charges for the death of Weston.

Background Information

• Ernest Weston was well known to the Fort Myers, Florida, police. In the 1970s, he had hit multiple officers who were trying to remove him from a bridge. That incident landed him in prison for 13 years, during which time he was diagnosed as bipolar and schizophrenic. In 1989, Weston was arrested for loitering and later for burglary and petty theft. In 1990, he was arrested for battery on a police officer and resisting arrest with violence. In January 2007, he was arrested again, this time for breach of peace and resisting arrest, for which he spent ten days in the county jail. (continued on next slide)

Background (continued)

• Weston was released from jail on January 24, 2007, and on February 2 of the same year, was shot and killed by police. Was Weston guilty of trying to kill police officers on that night or was he simply a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, a grand jury will decide whether the shooting was justified or if officers should defend their actions before a jury.

Tell the Story of the Case

• On February 2, 2007, after a call from a woman saying she had been shot in the stomach, Fort Myers, Florida, police responded to the Palmetto Court apartment complex in the predominantly African American community of Dunbar at approximately 7:30 p.m. Officers arrived to find multiple suspects outside the complex, and when one of the suspects shot at the officers, they fired back. One of the suspects fled; another lay on the ground dead. (continued on next slide)

Case Story (continued)

• Witnesses, however, say that the officers shot the wrong person, an unarmed man named Ernest Weston. The incident will be investigated by the Fort Myers Police Department and by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. However, the deciding vote as to whether or not the shooting was justified lies with the grand jury. Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, the grand jury will recommend whether or not the police officers should be brought up on charges for the death of Weston.

Quotation

• “Law enforcement is not the judge and executioner.” James Muwakkil, president of the Fort Myers Coalition for Justice, told reporters that as residents of the Dunbar community demonstrated in front of police headquarters. (Johnson, 2007, p. A12) Muwakkil’s comment and the demonstration followed the NAACP’s demand for a federal investigation into the police shooting of Ernest Weston. Both groups are calling for an elected civilian complaint review board and the resignation of the police chief. (continued on next slide)

Quote (continued)

• The African American community of Fort Myers does not feel that it is treated fairly by the police, and if officers are cleared of wrong doing in this shooting, they say it is one more indication of the injustices that exist. Residents say they want someone to be held accountable for what happened, but based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, it is the grand jury who will decide whether or not the police officers should be brought up on charges for the death of Weston.

Surprising Fact

• According to Elisa Rodriquez, Fort Myers Police officers shot a man who had his hands in the air. They shot him again as he lay on the ground, and then they handcuffed him. (Johnson, 2007, p. A12) The confusing and contradictory case of Ernest Weston has the Fort Myers Dunbar community alleging that police officers shot and killed an unarmed man. Police say that when they arrived at the scene of a previous shooting, they were fired upon and that Weston is a suspect. Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, a grand jury will decide whether the shooting was justified or if officers should defend their actions before a jury.

Question(s)

• It was night, dark, and they were being shot at. It was a “bad” section of town, and many people were milling about, out numbering the officers. Did the Fort Myers police officers who responded to the scene shoot the wrong person? Did the darkness, confusion, and their own fear cause them to react too fast, thus killing a person who was not involved in the crime? Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, a grand jury will decide whether the shooting of Ernest Weston by Fort Myers Police officers was justified or if officers should defend their actions before a jury.

Explain Why the Topic Is Important

• Public faith in the impartiality of law enforcement is vital for peace in the community. If the community perceives the police as being against them, they will not work with law enforcement, nor trust them. Dunbar resident Debra Font explained, “People are afraid to say much. They think if they do they’ll be harassed by the police” (Johnson, 2007, p. A12). No community can thrive in an atmosphere of fear and distrust. No police force can be effective if the community will not cooperate with it. (continued on next slide)

Why It Is Important (continued)

• The police shooting of Ernest Weston is just one example of continuing police-community mutual distrust. The community claims that officers shot and killed an unarmed man. Based upon the crime scene evidence, witness statements, and police officer reports, a grand jury will decide whether the shooting of Ernest Weston by Fort Myers Police officers was justified or if officers should defend their actions before a jury.

Avoid Introductions Like This

• What is global warming? Why is it important? This paper will tell you why.

• These questions manage to take an interesting and important topic and put the readers immediately to sleep!

The Last Word on Introductions

• It is your job as the writer, to make the reader want to continue reading. Any one of these types of introductions can be used for that purpose.

• When writing your introduction, ask yourself: "Will my reader want to know more?"

Final Essay• How many of you think you will

have trouble getting your essay to750 words?

• If you are concerned about that, more research is probably necessary!

• Try both the Kaplan Library and the Internet.

• In addition, think about alternative ways to discuss your thesis.

Facts• Facts are objective, observable, and

verifiable. • Readers can do their own

research and check that facts are accurate.

• Because they can be double-checked, facts add credibility to your work.

Problem with Facts• Facts sometimes need more explanation. • For example, informing readers that

last year there were 50 murders in your city means little unless you compare that to the number of murders that took place during other years or in other places.

• The media often gives incomplete facts or interprets facts with a “spin.”

Statistics: Facts expressed in numbers

• Statistics compress a lot of information into a small, more easily remembered package.

• Example: – Eighty one* percent of

Florida children failed the writing FCAT.• *Notice that when the statistic

began the sentence, I wrote it as a word, not a number.

Statistics (continued)• Because statistics can be misleading, it

is up to the writer to explain them and provide all necessary information so that the reader can assess their accuracy.

• The writer should state when, how, and from whom the statistics were collected. Some sources speak for themselves, such as FBI crime statistics.

• "Figures never lie, but liars figure," so be careful where you get your numbers from. LOL

Testimony

• Statements or quotations from experts or witnesses

• When they think of research, this is what most students are looking for: information that they can quote or paraphrase.

Testimony Problems• Use only testimony by experts in the field. Be

careful that those you quote actually know something about the topic.

• Be aware that testimony can be biased and may require additional support.

• Be careful not to take comments out of context or assume that someone who is an expert in one field is an authority in another.

• Be doubly careful about quoting sports stars, actors, singers, and politicians!

Examples: Stories that explain the issues

• Make sure the examples you use prove your thesis. Do not let your examples overwhelm your essay. You still need other types of proof.

• Example:• Illegal immigrants often do jobs that

no one else wants. For example, in Florida, without illegal immigrants, there is no one to pick the fruits or vegetables. A few years ago, because of law enforcement activity, there were fewer illegal immigrants, and much of the fruit and vegetables remained unpicked.

Reason, Logic, Common Sense

• When using this, you're expecting people to agree with you.

• These often start with words like – "It makes sense" OR – "Logically" OR – "Everyone would agree.”

• If used alone, logical arguments can be deceptive. Always back up your common sense arguments with other forms of proof.

Common Sense Argument• Example: It makes sense that the death

penalty is an effective means of reducing repeat crime. If a person is dead, that person can not commit a crime again.– A writer using that argument expects the readers to

agree. After, all dead people can not commit crimes. – However, there is more to the death penalty debate

than can be covered in a common sense argument, so the argument is somewhat deceptive.

Common Sense Can Be Deceptive

• Subway uses a common sense argument in their commercials: "Fresher is better."

• Who is going to say that old food is better than fresh food?

• However, does that really prove that Subway food tastes better than other fast food?

Analogies/Comparisons • These show how one thing is much like

another. • Example:• Rebuilding New Orleans will be much

like building the Panama Canal. It will be more difficult and take much longer than people are expecting.

• The analogy compares rebuilding New Orleans with building the Panama Canal and would require greater detail to give a picture of the difficulties involved in both.