38/2012 19–25 October www.whatson-kiev.com

The Lady in Red

Returns!And she can be found at

Mercedes Benz Kiev Fashion Days

38.indb 3 16.10.2012 20:25:11

4 What’s Up

New and Inspired Space to Play in Kyiv Kyiv kids’ favourite city centre park, Peyza-zhna Alley, has been duplicated over on the left bank, with the ribbon-cutting ceremony taking place earlier this week. Declaring the space open and available to all, the Park of Partizan Glory can be found over in Darnyt-sya, and features works by some of the same sculptors as the original playground. Huge birds and cracked eggs decorate the park, and will no doubt become this neighbourhood’s calling card. The only fly in the ointment is that the space was apparently sponsored by one of the candidates and on the eve of the elections no less. Art goes hand in hand with politics in this country, it seems; not unlike many other aspects of life in Ukraine.

The iPhone for HalloweenUkrainians have been on the hunt for the iconic iPhone ever since it hit the market back in 2007. Up until now, you had to go through your best friend’s uncle’s neighbour’s boss in Lynchburg, Tennessee in order to land your-self one of these little smartphones. It has just been announced, however, that the of-ficial iPhone 5 is coming to Kyiv, and just in time for Halloween.It was the electronics retail chain Citrus that let the proverbial cat out of the bag recently, saying the Ukrainian State Centre for Radio Frequencies (Ukrchastotnadzor) has finally certified Apple’s newest generation. Ap-pearing in stores on 31 October, at a price of 7,999hrv, it may sell out before it has time to even hit the shelves. “Today, the iPhone is so iconic and popular that even before it hits the market, we’ve got more than 2,000 pre-orders for it,” said Viktor Sholoshenko, Citrus direc-tor of marketing.With the largest number of pre-orders made in Kyiv, Odesa, Donetsk and Dnipropetrovsk, if you happen to be after the Apple iPhone 5 and live in any of these cities, you may want to see whether your contact in Lynchburg is still available.

Real Men and Women According to UkrainiansAlexander Motyl is an American pundit on Ukraine who can often be found on his World Af-fairs blog, Ukraine’s Orange Blues. Most recently, he’s published a poll carried out by the local Rat-ing Sociological Group, which endeavoured to find “real men and women” in Ukraine. The group went about asking 1,200 Ukrainians, 18 and older, who they believed fit this model. Considering some of the characters Ukraine is renowned for, the re-sults in this poll may (or may not) surprise you.With an average of 35% of votes among men, and 26% among women, as you might have hoped, but may not have guessed, the man at the top is Vitaliy Klitschko. His brother Volodymyr takes a distant second with an average of 12% and 8% respectively. Real Man No 3, Vladimir Putin, should at the very least put a wry smile on your face, and of course the poll wouldn’t be complete if Viktor Yanukovych didn’t figure in there, if only with a very small representation. As for the ladies, if you know anything about Ukrainian pop culture, you’ll have probably guessed that singers Sofia Rotaru, Ani Lorak and Alla Pugacheva all feature prominently in this little roundup of “real women”. Politicians make the grade as well, with German Chancellor Angela Merkel (5.2%) and former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher (4.2%) each taking a small piece of the popular pie. The most popular Ms, however, according to both Ukrainian men and women, is our own, homegrown politician, Yulia Tymoshenko, garnering an average of 24% of votes across the genders. That probably won’t get her out of jail, but at least she can sleep better at night knowing that she’s loved and respected by a quarter of the country. Klitschko too has got a pretty big fol-lowing. Now, let’s see how that translates at the election next week.

This just in…According to a poll conducted by the Demo-cratic Initiatives Fund and the Kyiv Interna-tional Institute of Sociology, 11% of Ukrai-nians are willing to sell their votes in the upcoming election. It’s just another day in Ukrainian politics…

Yushchenko Calls Tymoshenko his ‘Main Mistake’"Et tu, Brute" are words that must be ringing in Tymoshenko’s head right now as word reaches her of how her one time ally, former President Viktor Yushchenko, gave her a very public and very brutal backstabbing while meeting with MEPs and senior EU officials in Brussels last week, according to Internet reports.In his first stab he stated that the gas deal Tymoshenko made with Putin, for which she now languishes in prison, was “criminal by nature”.“Ukraine lost 62 billion Euros over the ten years of the agreement,” he’s quoted as saying. “I never approved of the agreement as I under-stood its corrupt nature.” He added that the jailing of Tymoshenko has “halted Ukraine’s integration into the EU”, stressing “this is fun-damentally wrong”.“A conflict between two Ukrainian political figures should not affect the whole country. International isolation is not the answer and will only fur-

ther the problem. Without cooperation or dialogue with the EU, Ukraine could quickly become the next Belarus,” he warned.His latter words have a certain ambiguity about them, but it would appear he was saying that the EU should ignore the fact Tymoshenko is in jail, and carry on with Ukraine regardless.But the brutal stabbing wasn’t finished there. In an interview with First Na-tional TV channel, Yushchenko said the appointment of Tymoshenko to the position of prime minister was the “main mistake” of his presidency. He went on to say that Tymoshenko was driven by political gain when she signed the gas deal with Russia and betrayed Ukraine’s national interests by agreeing to an inflated price. He suggested that she wanted to be seen as the “saviour” who ended the long and bitter pricing dispute with Moscow, and she ignored Ukrainian interests for the sake of special relations with Russia’s leaders.With Tymoshenko lying bloodied on the floor, one has to wonder if Yush-chenko speaks the truth, or if his timely attack on his former Orange ally has something to do with the looming elections and a subservience to the Party of Regions, which he first began to show in the latter years of his presi-dency. It certainly won’t do PoR’s election chances any harm.

38.indb 4 16.10.2012 20:25:13

5

This Week in History

22 October 1835Peasant outlaw Ustym Karmelyuk dies. Heading rebel activity against the Russian administration in the early 1810s, he is often referred to as Ukraine’s Robin Hood. Active for over 23 years, he and his merry men ransacked more than 1,000 mansions of Russian noblemen, giving all of the loot to the poor. So tricky were they, the Rus-sians needed a special force just to catch and control them.

23 October 1859Kyiv’s first “Sunday School” opens. These schools were free, offering primary educa-tion to the poor adult population who could only study on weekends and holidays. Taras Shevchenko actively helped these schools and even wrote a book of ABCs specifically for them.

20 October 1924The first Ukrainian radio station opens in Kharkiv.

24 October 1977Kateryna Serebryanska is born. In 1995, she ties for the all-round title at the world championships in Vienna, and goes on to win the gold at the Olympic Games in At-lanta just a year later.

24 October 1991The Verkhovna Rada of Ukraine pro-claims the country’s denuclearised status. Ukraine’s nuclear potential is third in the world after the collapse of the USSR. In 1991, Ukraine passes more than 1,700 nu-clear warheads on to Russia.

Opposition Parties Try To Consolidate Support But Can’t Seem To Agree On That Either Opposition parties are moving to unify the opposition vote ahead of the 28 October parliamentary election. Vitaliy Klitschko’s UDAR and Yulia Tymoshenko’s Batkivsh-chyna, announced this week that they would be withdrawing candidates in strate-gically chosen districts to prevent splitting the opposition vote. UDAR announced that it would withdraw 32 candidates, while Batkivshchyna announced that it would be recalling 26 of its candidates. The manoeuvres only affect 58 out of 225 ma-jority districts, however, indicating that the parties may have had trouble reaching an overarching consensus. To make matters worse, the parties are insist-ing on duking it out in the capital, which will be critical in next week’s vote. Out of the 13 majority districts in Kyiv, the two parties have only reached an agreement about two. UDAR has suggested that Batkivshchyna withdraw seven candidates who are lagging behind UDAR entrants, but like the smarmy guy at the party, Batkivshchyna refuses to bow out. The Party of Regions has often benefit-ted from internal strife within the opposition and this year’s vote may be no different, with 225 out of 450 seats in the Verkhovna Rada hanging in the balance for majority districts throughout Ukraine.

GRECO President Warns about Merging of Economic and Political InterestsWhen we first came across this story, we thought it was about something a little different, and for a moment thought of not writing about it. But then we thought the hypocrisy of it might give you all a little titter.President of the Council of Europe Group of States against Corruption (GRECO), Marin Mr-cela, said on Monday the merging of political and economic interests in Ukraine is of serious concern. Now, we first thought he was talking about the huge number of instances of corporate raiding taking place, the result of which alleg-edly is that the country’s top politicians (naming no names for fear of ending up in jail, or getting shot) now own sizeable percentages of many of the country’s larger businesses. Now, that would have been an interesting thing for the president of GRECO to talk about.But reading further, we found that actually all he was saying was business interests in Ukraine have a heavy influence on politics. Well, duh. That’s not really worth commenting on, apart from with a large dollop of irony, and a very big spoonful of sarcasm when we ask the man, in which western country do business interests NOT have a big influence on politics? Come on man, there’s plenty of stuff over which one can legitimately criticise the Ukrainian government, but let’s not be hypocritical!

Fire, Smoke and Mirrors The troops are being rallied here in Kyiv, and just in time for the election at the end of this month, as thousands marched through the capital this weekend in solidarity against the current controlling party. The man at the head of this little parade was none other than leader of the ultra-nationalists Svoboda Party, Oleh Tyahnybok. Gathering at the Taras Shevchenko monu-ment, the group burned flags of both the Com-munist Party as well as the Party of Regions, with one party official claiming, “The time for tolerance and weakness is over – our involve-ment with the gang in power is finished!”It was quite the sight, especially with the smoke and fire as backdrop. But then, Ukrai-nian politicians have always been good at the-atrics. It’s the part they play once they get into power that needs work.

Evading Tax Evasion Yes, folks, that’s right, Yulia Tymoshenko’s back is acting up again, which means the former PM remains laid up in hospital bed, rather than in court at her most recent trial on 15 October in Kharkiv. Judges claim it is impossible to hear the case without Ukraine’s goldilocks, and have adjourned until 15 No-vember. Could she be going for the longest-running trial ever? If so, she’s got a few more years of back pain to go.

38.indb 5 16.10.2012 20:25:15

6 Ukraine Today Daniela Schmiedlechner

What inspired you to follow the political path?There’s a saying, “If you don’t engage in politics, politics will engage you.” The popular uprising during the Orange Revolution was a massive demonstration of ordinary Ukrainians’ will to defend their rights and their democratic choice. That expression of human will inspired me and a whole generation of young professionals to en-ter Ukrainian politics and try to change for the better the situation in our country.

Did you ever previously aspire to become a politician?As a professional boxer and sportsman, I had the honour of representing my country at hundreds of professional sporting events, including world championships. I was proud of my achieve-ments, which I openly share with my fans and all Ukrainians. However, when I returned to Ukraine from training or boxing abroad, I was always struck by how distant Ukraine was mentally and economically from even our clos-est neighbours, such as Poland, Slovakia, the Czech Republic and the Baltics. I always asked myself the question, if they could progress and join western European civilisation, then what is stopping us? And one question led to another. So, to answer your question directly, my political aspirations were evolutionary.

Do you remember the moment you decided to get involved in political life?I would say standing in the streets during the snowy days of the Orange Revolution were the catalyst for my entering politics. I grew up in Kyiv, this is my home and I wanted to start doing something politically in the city.

How have you found trying to balance your boxing with your political career? At first, I found it difficult because in sport, the rules are to be followed, but in politics, the rules are to be manipulated. Initially, I could not un-derstand the political rules of the game. Then, after several weeks as a member of the Kyiv City Council, I understood that there were no rules of the game. The only rules were those handed down by the rulers. If the rulers want to build a skyscraper in the centre of Kyiv, then they build

Hard-hitting

Parliamentary elections are right around the corner, and President Viktor Yanukovych must be feeling the pressure, what with his support slowly being siphoned off to another, newer party. What’s On goes head to head in an exclusive interview with the man whose tactics seem to carry just as much weight in the ring as they do in politics. His name is Vitaliy Klitschko and he’s the head of political party, UDAR (Punch).

“UKRAINIAN

POlITICIANS HAvE

CREATEd A WARPEd

SENSE OF REAlITY

ANd THEY BElIEvE

THEY CAN CONvINCE

vOTERS THAT THEIR

lIvES ARE IMPROvING,

WHEN IN FACT

ONlY THE RICH IN

THIS COUNTRY ARE

GETTING RICHER”

Politics

38.indb 6 16.10.2012 20:25:18

it regardless of the rules for a public hearing and legal limits on certain buildings. If the rulers want to abolish historic landmarks, then they simply vote to abolish without the input from citizens. If the rulers want to raise the utility prices, they manipulate the rules without tak-ing into account the ability of pensioners and poorer people to pay. The difficulty comes from the irrationality of the political process, and that is what has turned away so many young Ukrai-nians from politics.

What would you say are your main objectives as a Ukrainian politician?My goal as a politician is to deliver on the prom-ises that my team makes to our supporters.

Do you have any goals that may momentarily seem unrealistic but still hope to achieve?Of course! Changing the country may seem like an unrealistic goal, but we must put large challenges before us to unite and motivate Ukrainians to strive for a better and fairer life for themselves and their children. I’ve seen how countries in Eastern Europe, the Baltic States and Georgia have changed for the better and I believe we can do the same in Ukraine. It won’t happen over night and it will take time. If poli-ticians can’t lead society to improve itself then what’s the point of entering politics?

Would you eventually like to become Mayor of Kyiv?I’ve been on the Kyiv City Council for the past seven years and have seen how much has been stolen from this city. How the citizens of Kyiv have been robbed first by an alien mayor and then by an appointed administrator who reports to the Party of Regions headquarters located on Bankova Street. This is not only financial rob-bery, but also robbing Kyivites of their demo-cratic rights to choose a mayor in a free and fair election. Kyiv is an ancient city with a long his-tory of prosperity. I want to help Kyiv reach its potential as one of the great European capitals working for the benefit of its citizens, and not the party in power. Right now, I intend to do that by protecting Kyiv’s rights to self-administration through the parliament. And, if and when the party of power decides to call an election in the city of Kyiv, I can assure you that I will make an announcement about my intention to run for mayor loud and clear.

Do you still plan on rerunning in the mayoral elections even after your losses in 2006 and 2008? In both those races, the democratic vote was split, which led to the election and then re-elec-tion of Leonid Chernovetskiy. Right now, opinion polls show my support for the mayoral race in Kyiv at about 45% compared to 30% for the in-cumbent candidate from the Party of Regions. I believe Ukraine’s democratic leaders have

learned their lessons in the city of Kyiv. And, this explains why Bankova Street has postponed the mayoral election indefinitely. I don’t want the Party of Regions to let down their guard in Kyiv. When I’m ready to announce, I will.

What would you say to the people who con-sider you as more of a heavyweight champi-on than a politician?I say "thanks for supporting my sports career". Now, take a close look at my seven-year political record in the City of Kyiv. My team has fought against corrupt practices like land grabs, com-munal property seizures, and unwarranted utility rate hikes. We have remained true to our principles and we intend to continue to fight for what we consider right and fair.

What qualities would you say you possess that make you a successful politician?The most important thing in politics is to recogn-ise the difference between right and wrong. That has been my guiding principle since I entered politics and I intend to stubbornly continue it. Secondly, my team at UDAR is made up of self-made young men and women who work hard for what they have and have not compromised in their choice between right and wrong.

Do you feel that having lived abroad gets in the way of your stance in Ukrainian politics?Quite the contrary – by living abroad one gets a better perspective of the way things should be in Ukraine. One understands that fair and trans-parent rules of the game are important not only for citizens, but also for business and invest-ment. Trust is an important factor in society

7

that serves as the basis for stability and prog-ress. Without trust, democracy is impossible. What the ruling party proposes is preserving the corrupt bureaucracy, and they call that stability. They steal state budget revenues and call that progress. Ukrainian politicians have created a warped sense of reality and they believe they can convince voters that their lives are improv-ing, when in fact only the rich in this country are getting richer.

What will your first steps be to make yourself better known in the local world of politics?At the UDAR Party Convention in May 2011, I set a goal of reaching 10% voter support, and opin-ion polls show that we reached that goal in May 2012. At our candidate nominating convention in August, I set a goal of reaching 15% voter sup-port for our party list in the October 28 election, and we have already surpassed that goal! We will not outspend our opponents on television advertising or billboards. We will not engage in the dirty, black-PR campaign tactics of the rul-ing party. We will simply conduct a door-to-door election campaign that reaches as many voters as possible. Our message is simple and clear – it’s time to get Ukraine’s political house in or-der. We have a five-point plan to do that: 1) fight government corruption; 2) return citizen control over state decision-making; 3) provide fair and equal opportunities; 4) give local government more power; and 5) promote European stan-dards of living.

Do you still plan on trying to balance your two very different careers after the election? I have no doubt our political team UDAR will succeed in the October 28 election. As for pro-fessional boxing, I’m already past forty and have won all the world boxing heavyweight titles pos-sible. However, I’ll let you know what my plans are.

How do you find balancing your career with your family?We spent a lot of time together this summer. But with the election and the September 8 boxing match in Moscow, I’ve had limited time for my wife and three children. I once asked my oldest son if he misses me and he said he’s used to me being away. It’s a sacrifice, but it makes the time we have together more special.

38.indb 7 16.10.2012 20:25:23

8 This Week Live Music 19–25 October 2012

In Jear (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: freeDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

chIll out (cover band)Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

Max vorek(cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

den(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

MetalIteratura (lIterature-MusIcal evenIng)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

good, bad, evIl (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

23TuesdayraggasM (reggae)Time: 22.00Admission: 40hrvArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

tres deseos (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 20hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

PartyzanskI vytIvky (cover band)Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

MaxI JaM(cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

Four FroM lIverPool(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

kolo khMar (cover band)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

blooM band (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

24WednesdaycadIllac records (cover band)Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

rock Four(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

Jean tonIc (cover band)Time: 21.30Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

ua/Pl alternatIve MusIc MeetIngs

(FestIval)Time: 19.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

dryMba da dzyha, second breath (ethno, cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

21Sundaysoyuz 44 (Jazz)Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

carnIval heat (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: freeDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

serhIy surPun(cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

koMa(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

robots don’t cry (PoP-rock)

Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

hobot & co (PoP-rock)Time: 20.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

22Mondayrock Funk Fest (Funk)Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

19FridayIryna kruh (russIa, PoP)Time: 19.00Admission: 150-950hrvPalace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)247-2444

green grey (rock)

Time: 22.00Admission: call for details Art Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

Motor’rolla, chuMaky, tex-Mex co (PoP-rock, cover bands)Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrv Docker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

tabula rasa, crazy traIn (PoP-rock, cover band)Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

kh.P.z. (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

Jean tonIc(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

lucky band(cover band)Time: 21.30Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

ua/Pl alternatIve MusIc MeetIngs

(FestIval)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

vasya club, In Jear (cover bands)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

20SaturdayalIsa (russIa, rock)Time: 19.00Admission: 150-450hrvNational Aviation University (Komorova 1)408-3300

Wake uP, lyaPIs creW (cover bands)Time: 22.00Admission: 50-80hrvArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

aPrIl, honey toP (cover bands)Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

Motor’rolla, More khuana (PoP-rock, cover band)Time: 22.00 Admission: 75hrvDocker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

bender band (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

the MagMa (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

rockIng Wolves (cover band)Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

More khuana (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

FusIon sky(cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

Jazz lyre(cover band)Time: 19.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

roMan huMenyuk (Jazz)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

dyadya vasya (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

25Thursday

dok (rock, FusIon)Time: 22.00Admission: freeArt Club 44 (Khreshchatyk 44b)279-4137

ruky v bryuky (cover band) Time: 22.00 Admission: 30hrvDocker’s ABC (Khreshchatyk-Zankovetskoi 15/4) 278-1717

anIMals’ sessIon (cover band)Time: 21.30 Admission: free Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25) 451-8528

: What's On Recommended

Slaves of MusicLyapis Trubetskoy (Belorussia, rock, punk)Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)20 October at 19.00This October, Belorussian rockers Lyapis Trubetskoy will be back in Kyiv to present their 12th album, RabCore. Its title is a play on words in Russian, translated as Hardcore Slaves, and contains harsh, politically-flavoured metaphors; some-thing the band is known and loved for. Victims of censor-ship, the group have been banned from playing in their home country, and as such, have since released this latest album over the Internet. Crying out to “kill the slave inside”, let’s see how it turns out.Tickets are 190hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

hIgh score (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeStar Pub (Popudenka 1a)292-2900

shubIn band(cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: call for detailsPorter (Konstantynivska 2a)425-0281

true colours(cover band)Time: 21.30Admission: call for detailsPorter (Mishuhy 3a)536-9979

nIcolas tyM & oleh adzhIkaev (acoustIc,

cover duet)Time: 20.00Admission: freeDivan (Besarabska 2)235-7366

rockIng Wolves (cover band)Time: 21.00Admission: freeRoute 66 (Zhylyanska 87/30)239-3865

Brits Rock!Uriah Heep (UK, classic rock, heavy metal)Docker Pub (Bohatyrska 25)21 October at 21.00Uriah Heep, classic hard-rockers and faves of our parents, will be rolling into town this autumn to play a few sets at Docker Pub. Thought they retired? So did we! It turns out we were both wrong! Releasing their 23rd album, Into the Wild, just last year, the Heep is still alive and kicking. Modulating the madness ever so slightly, fans old and new will be pleas-antly surprised by the new sound.Tickets are 500 – 1,000hrv. For more information call 537-1340.

38.indb 8 16.10.2012 20:25:31

Theatre & Classical Music 19–25 October 2012

20Saturday

chaMber art MusIc InternatIonal

FestIvalFeaturing Martinez (Spain, piano), Rety (France, flute)Works by MozartTime: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-169

an evenIng oF organ MusIc

Featuring Koshuba (organ)Time: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

Pages oF russIan vocal MusIcFeaturing Zabolotska (soprano), Zabolotsky (baritone), Moskalets (piano)Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23)587-7490

chasIng tWo haresMusical in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

Mad bloodPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

the corsIcanHistorical anecdote in 1 actTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro517-1955

athens evenIngs Lyrical comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

PerFect charlIePlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

autuMn In MusIc and PaIntIngsTime: 18.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

21Sunday

InternatIonal chaMber art MusIc

FestIvalFeaturing Martinez (Spain, piano), Severin (Switzerland, cello)Works by Brahms, SchubertTime: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

sWan lakeBallet in 3 actsTime: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169

an evenIng oF vocal MusIcFeaturing Bratyk (soprano), Bondarovska (piano), Bolkunevych (soprano)Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society Andriivskiy Uzviz 23587-7490

gyPsy baronOperetta in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

natalka PoltavkaUkrainian musical drama in 2 actsTime: 12.00solo For a strIkIng clockPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

the overly haPPy FatherComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223

voytsekh. carnIval oF FleshPlay in 2 acts Time: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

Quartet For tWoComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

the lIttle PrInceHistorical fantasyTime: 19.00Plastic Drama Theatre (Shovkovychna 7a)253-9383

stolen haPPInessDrama in 2 actsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

22Monday

a trIbute to Franz lIszt

Featuring Erdi (Hungary, piano) Works by Liszt, Chopin, Schumann Time: 19.00 National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

an evenIng oF organ MusIcFeaturing Bubnova (organ)Works by Vivaldi, GriegTime: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

storMTragic-comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (Ivana Franka 3)279-5921

chasIng tWo haresMusical in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

trees dIe standIngPlay in 3 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5)234-4223

26 rooMsPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

WhIle Mother’s out Comedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17) 278-7392

What the French hIdeComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

an evenIng oF FlaMenco

Featuring Stepanovych (guitar), Smilyanska, Kudryavchenko (dancing)Time: 19.00House of Actors (Yaroslaviv Val 7)253-8247/2081

19Friday

an evenIng oF classIcal MusIc

Featuring Bortnyk (tenor), Academic Symphony Orchestra of the National Philharmonic Time: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

an evenIng oF classIcal MusIcFeaturing Kotko (coloratura bass), Nuzha (cello), Balakhovska (organ)Time: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

carMen Opera in French in 3 actsTime: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

an evenIng oF vocal MusIcFeaturing Andrashchuk (tenor), Skyrko (bass, baritone), Fesay (soprano), Skurko (piano)Time: 19.30Sophia Kyivska Ukrainian Philharmonic Society (Andriivskiy Uzviz 23)587-7490

FaMIly dInnerComedy in 2 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223

the lIttle PrInceHistorical fantasyTime: 19.00Plastic Drama Theatre (Shovkovychna 7a)253-9383

23Tuesdayave, MarIa!Featuring Lipinska (mezzo-soprano), Roy (flute), Koshuba (organ)Works by Bach, Schubert, Guilman Time: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

cavallerIa rustIcana & carMen suIte Opera and ballet in 1 act eachTime: 19.00National Opera of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50) 279-1169

Mrs MInIsterComedy in 4 actsTime: 19.00L Ukrainka Russian Drama Theatre (B Khmelnytskoho 5) 234-4223

MatchMakIng at honcharIvkaDrama in 3 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

guests coMe at MIdnIghtPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

24 Wednesdayorchestral Wonderland – FroM antIQuIty to ModernItyFeaturing Academic Orchestra of Folk Instrument, soloists of the National Opera HouseTime: 19.00National Philharmonic of Ukraine (Volodymyrskiy Uzviz 2)278-1697

an evenIng oF classIcal MusIc

Featuring Gerbert (Germany, oboe), Shvydka (soprano), Labut (mezzo-soprano), Tretyak (double bass), Sydorenko (organ)Time: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

don carlosOpera in Italian in 3 actsTime: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

such JeWIsh haPPInessMusical in 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3) 287-6257

MoskovIadaPlay in 3 actsTime: 19.00Molody Theatre (Prorizna 17)278-7392

Where the WInd bloWsPlay in 1 actTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25) 517-1955

In the druMMIng laneHistory of the railroad in 27 scenesTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16)212-4188

: What's On Recommended

A Ticket to the UnderworldDark Patrick (UA/UK, folk, rock, electronic)House of Artists (Artema 1-5) 21 October at 18.00Dark Patrick is not only a combination of Ukrainian and British culture, it is a combination of authentic world instru-ments within an atmosphere of synthetic sound and experi-mentation. The music is meditative, philosophical, magical even, and envelops you in a thick blanket of relaxation and hypnotic trance. Give in to the call of the underworld tonight and just let yourself go.Tickets are 50 – 150hrv. For more information visit www.darkpatrick.com

Singing and Dancing UkraineVeryovka Choir (UA, folk song and dance), Palace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103) 25 October at 19.00You've probably heard of Veryovka, one of the best groups in the coun-try. Taking you on a trip to another world this fall, breath-taking Ukrai-nian folk songs, spectacular danc-ing and soul-inspiring music await. Receiving applause from Ukraine and beyond, this next concert is one that will include beloved repertoire as well as new compositions organi-cally combined to turn out wonder-fully traditional as well as modern Ukrainian culture.Tickets are 80 – 500hrv. For more infor-mation call 247-2444.

25Thursday

an evenIng oF InstruMental MusIcFeaturing Kucher (cello), Voytekh (piano)Works by Strauss, SchumannTime: 19.30National House of Organ and Chamber Music (V Vasylkivska 77)528-3186

red bull FlyIng bach

Contemporary dance interpretation to Bach musicTime: 19.00National Opera Theatre of Ukraine (Volodymyrska 50)279-1169

tango oF lIFeDancing show 2 actsTime: 19.00Kyiv Operetta (V Vasylkivska 53/3)287-6257

antheM to deMocratIc youthPlay in 2 actsTime: 19.00I Franko Ukrainian Drama Theatre (I Franka 3)279-5921

dangerous lIaIsonsSuspenseful intrigueTime: 19.00Drama & Comedy Theatre on the Dnipro (Brovarskiy Pr 25)517-1955

lettIce & lavIdzhFun w/ shadowsTime: 19.00Suzirya Theatre (Yaroslaviv Val 16) 212-4188

9

Meet the Rich and Authentic ChechensVaynakh Chechen Dance Ensemble (Chechnya, folk song and dance), Pal-ace Ukraine (V Vasylkivska 103)24 October at 19.00The Chechen culture, although rich and authentic, remains relatively unknown to the rest of the world. Hoping to enlighten those here in Kyiv, the oldest Chechen song and dance ensemble comes to the capital this autumn. Having revamped their work after the beginning of the Sec-ond Chechen War in 1999, the mastery and fiery temperament of Vaynakh prom-ises a night you won’t soon forget. Tickets are 150 – 1,300hrv. For more in-formation call 247-2444.

38.indb 9 16.10.2012 20:25:32

one nIght In chIcago Time: 21.00Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

dub steP vs druM and bass WIth dJs druMInFected, rIght heart, and MarkTime: 18.00Admission: 10hrvDvor (Druzhkovskaya 12)501-2983

gorod 312 lIve WIth dJs key and rockstarTime: 23.00Admission: call for detailsSky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5)223-8888

shoW MaFIa WIth dJ snach Time: 21.00Admission: L-100hrv, G-100hrvSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

lessons In FlIrtIng Party WIth dJ MarahovskyTime: 23.00Admission: L-free, G-70hrvSeven Music Club (Saksahanskoho 1g)205-4451

lIght nIght WIth dJ gaMes and Mc nata lunchTime: 21.00Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrvAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

get Fresh WIth dJs sunalex and andreW check Time: 22.00Admission: L-20hrv, G-40hrvGarage Party Bar (Teodora Drayzera 21)548-1419

steePed In MotIon WIth dJs shuMskIy, denny raFF, and shuMMI Time: 23.00Admission: L-25hrv, G-50hrvEgoist (Horlovskaya 124/140)223-3633

Play techno WIth dJs truncate (us), Mays,

and egor boss Time: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-40hrv, G-50hrv, after L-60hrv, G-70hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

cossack rada WIth dJs arteM FleMIng and dan Time: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-80hrvBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

21Sunday

rnb booM: drInk or dIe WIth dJs lady, kash FloW,

MukvIk, and cluber Time: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-10hrv, G-15hrv, after L-20hrv, G-30hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

steP by steP Time: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

back In the ussr WIth dJ velskIy and FrIends

Time: 23.00Admission: L- free, G-100hrvAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

technIcal Freaks WIth dJs sPartaQue, kIrIll

MIxer, sPIeler, horsy, and seMenIchTime: 22.00Admission: before 23:30, 15hrv, after L-25hrv, G-30hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

all out dance Party WIth dJs zeekrey and JoyIntTime: 22.00Admission: call for details Sakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37)563-9662

Party nIght WIth resIdent dJ zeekrey and Mc PavlIk MorozovTime: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvSakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37)563-9662

dJs dIana MIro, MIsha zaItsev, and kesha Time: 23.00Admission: L-free, G-100hrv Karusel (Golosiivskaya 87-6)259-0001

FrIday nIght vIxens Time: 21.00Admission: before 00.00, L-Free, G-100hrv, after L-100hrv, G-100hrvSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24) 486-0300

I’M In MIaMI beach WIth dJs ukI (us), andreas, unIQue,

and MarIa MagdalenaTime: 23.00Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrv Crystal Hall (Dniprovskiy Spusk 1) 538-0100

dIs-QualIty WIth dJs vIa PPs, schPIeler, and IyugTime: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-20hrv, G-25hrv, after L-40hrv, G-50hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

20Saturday

Freek Me WIth dJs lIght, roMantIc, Marka Pola,

krIstyene, Id crash, and underhIllTime: 22.00Admission: L-25hrv, G-30hrvSaxon (Trutenko 4)257-4070

Party nIght WIth dJs Malena, JoyInt, and Jean vayat Time: 22.00Admission: call for detailsD’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3)200-9009

student Party WIth dJs sunalex and kesha Time: 23.00Admission: 30hrv Karusel (Golosiivskaya 87-6)259-0001

kyIv goes hard For sIckMan’s bIrthday WIth

dJs Progressor (russIa), sIckMan, and More Time: 23.00Admission: 50hrvEnergy Club (Entusiastiv 1) 093-014-5839

radIo azure Party WIth dJs branskI and stalkerTime: 21.00Admission: before 23.00 free, after L- free, G-150hrvAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

sunday Funday karaoke WIth dJs vados and beatsTime: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

PIoneer bachelorette Party WIth dJ gaMes and Mc adaMTime: 21.00Admission: L-20hrv, G-40hrvAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

gIrls nIght retro style WIth dJs saylex and andrey lubIMoFFTime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-free, G-20hrv, after L-free, G-40hrvBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

best euro hIts WIth dJs Jerry nugget and sunalexTime: 22.00Admission: call for detailsGarage Party Bar (Teodora Drayzera 21)548-1419

22MondaydIsco Party and karaoke dJs vados and beatsTime: 21.00Admission: freeSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

PIvoManIa – dJ sIzeTime: 21.00Admission: freeAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

Jose cuervo nIght Time: 21.00Admission: freeShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

23TuesdaydIsco nostalgIa Party and karaoke dJs vados and beatsTime: 21.00Admission: freeSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

MIx style WIth dJ shtuzer Time: 21.00Admission: freeAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

set saIl WIth caPtaIn Morgan! Time: 21.00Admission: freeShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

24WednesdaysWeet retro Wednesdays Time: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

lIve karaoke WIth beethoven band Time: 23.00Admission: call for detailsSky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5)223-8888

ladIes nIght Time: 21.00Admission: before 00.00, L-50hrv, G-closed, after G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

radIo daysTime: 21.00Admission: freeAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

WhIsky Party WIth dJs stalker and velTime: 21.00Admission: L- free, G-100hrvAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

25ThursdayhIts Party 90s to today WIth dJ leo keyTime: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvSakhar Party Bar (Dekabrystov 12/37)563-9662

ladIes nIght Time: 21.00Admission: before 23.00, L-free, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-50hrvSorry Babushka (Dmitrievskaya 18/24)486-0300

Master class In dancIng WIth Mc adaMTime: 21.00Admission: L-30hrv, G-30hrvAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

death race—kyIv Fryday Time: 21.00Admission: L-free, G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

student nIght WIth dJs Jerry nugget and sunalexTime: 22.00Admission: call for details Garage Party Bar (Teodora Drayzera 21)548-1419

: What's On Recommended

19Friday

groW 02 WIth MInIanIMal and dJs t.FaIn, veleev,

and dzen (russIa) Time: 21.00Admission: call for details Boom Boom Room (Shevchenko 33)588-8989

dIsco 90s to 2000s WIth dJ starTime: 23.00Admission: L-free, G-50hrvSeven Music Club (Saksahanskoho 1g)205-4451

tIMa sax lIve shoW WIth dJs bro and rockstar Time: 23.00Admission: call for detailsSky Bar (V Vasylkivska 5)223-8888

glaM Punk Party WIth dJs ksusha kosMos, stalker, branksI and More Time: 21.00Admission: before 23.00 free, after L- free, G-150hrvAzure (Leontovycha 3)234-7494

kasta WIth dJ Id crashTime: 22.00Admission: before 00.00 L-30hrv, G-50hrv, after L-50hrv, G-80hrvBionica (Borshchahivska 128a)232-7296

suPer dIsco WIth dJs roMantIc, 2 Machos, underhIll and nekrasoFF Time: 22.00Admission: before 23.30 L-30hrv, G-40hrv, after L-50hrv, G-60hrvForsage (Harmatna 51a)232-6780

hIstory oF house MusIc WIth dJs lIght, davId nova,

and runovTime: 22.00Admission: call for detailsD’Lux (Hrushevskoho 3)200-9009

PIoneers – alWays ready! Time: 21.00Admission: L-50hrv, G-100hrvShooters (Moskovska 22)254-2024

ladIes nIght WIth dJs sunalex and Jerry nuggetTime: 22.00Admission: L-20hrv, G-40hrvGarage Party Bar (Teodora Drayzera 21)548-1419

love nIght WIth dJ gaMes and Mc nata lunchTime: 21.00Admission: L-40hrv, G-60hrvAura (Vyshhorodskaya 28/1)237-7023

The Thinking Man’s TechnoSwarms (UK, underground, techno), Xlib (Frunze 12) 20 October at 23.00In true testament to their name, Swarms throws together an improbable slew of meditative dub-step, techno, ambient, and acoustic post-rock and actually produces something worth listen-ing to. Straight out of Malvern, the three-member outfit is known for the textural quality of their music, an effect they often create by layering seemingly discordant elements like guitar and low-frequency electronica. The three launched their career with the song I Gave You Everything, which was a hit on YouTube. A supporting cast of Jike, Duberman, Koloah, DeGo, and more is sure to keep the party going into the night. Admission is 80hrv. Call 417-3233 for more infor-mation.

This Week Nightlife 19–25 October 2012

The Charmer DJ Vincenzo (Germany, house), Boom Boom Room (Shevchenko 33)20 October at 22.00 German-Italian Vincenzo Ragone is a rare house veteran, with ten years of experience under his belt. He originally worked as a producer in his native Germany, making hits that helped fuel the burgeoning acid house subgenre in the 1990s in Hamburg. He didn’t release his first solo track until 1997, but when he did, 1-800-Vincenzo be-came an instant hit. He has been perfecting his own unique brand of soulful deep house, draw-ing from his interest in hip-hop music and rap as a child. That influence is clear in his latest work – a sexy collaboration with the Talking Props and Dessous Recordings, entitled Seduction. For tickets and more information call 588-8989.

Kiss FM’s 10th Birthday BashKiss FM Radio w/ Avicii (Sweden), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 17)19 October at 21.00Join Kiss FM as they blow out candles at their tenth birthday party at Stereo Plaza this week-end. Kiss FM’s annual birthday parties always make a splash with Kyiv clubbers, and the radio station pulled out all the stops to celebrate its first full decade on the airwaves. At 23-years-old, Swedish headliner and Grammy winner Avicii is considered one of the best dance DJs on the planet – a fitting choice for Kyiv’s top dance music station. Let the celebration begin! Tickets are 350 – 800hrv. For more information call 502-3464.

10

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38.indb 11 16.10.2012 20:26:12

12 This Week Art 19–25 October 2012

kyIv acadeMIc PuPPet theatreHrushevskoho 1a (Park Khreshchatyk)278-5808www.akadempuppet.kiev.ua

kyIv MunIcIPal PuPPet theatreMyropilska 1513-1500www.puppet-theater.kiev.ua

MarIInskIy Park Arsenalna Metro

MarIonette theatre Sahaidachnoho 29/3417-3058www.history.marionet.com.ua

natIonal cIrcus oF ukraIne Peremohy 2486-3856www.circus.kiev.ua

kyIv zooPeremohy 32 277-47-69

FaMIly entertaInMent centre dyvosvIt M Malinovskoho 24/10502-0088www.dyvosvit.ua

neMo dolPhInarIuMAcademic Hlushkov 9520-5555www.nemokiev.com

kyIv PlanetarIuM V Vasylkivska 57/3287-7508 www.planet.org.ua

aQua Park In terMInal Brovary, Kyivska 316200 29 80/81www.aquapark-terminal.com.ua

dreaM land aQua Park Obolonskiy 21b485-2111/12

ostrIch FarM Yasnohorodka, Podlesna 32 (30km from Kyiv) 353-8821www.ostrich.com.ua

horse-rIdIng centre nabeg Vyshhorodska 85a360-3838 (call in advance)www.loshadi.kiev.ua

central horse race track oF ukraIne Akademika Hlushkova 10526-2053www.ipodrom-kiev.at.ua

exhIbItIon centre ParkAkademika Hlushkova 1www.expocenter.com.ua

state MuseuM oF toysKlovskiy Spusk 8253-5400

InterestIng kyIv tours 364-5111www.interesniy.kiev.ua

Pyrohovo oPen aIr MuseuM Trolleybus 11 from Lybidska Metro526-5765www.pirogovo.org.ua

MaMaeva sloboda MuseuMM Dontsya 2361-9848www.mamajeva-sloboda.ua

natIonal botanIc garden Timiryazevska 1284-9506www.nbg.kiev.ua

exPerIMentanIuM MuseuMVerkhniy Val 2a 417-4033www.experimentanium.com.ua

Familykolobok’s MagIcal JourneyPlayTime: 11.00the starry sky above usEducational programmeTime: 14.00Myths and legends oF the starsTime: 18.00Kyiv Planetarium (V Vasylkivska 57/3)287-7508

21SundayburatIno’s adventures Musical in 2 acts Time: 12.00, 15.00Admission: 10-40hrvKyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2)425-4280

the ugly ducklIngTime: 11.00lIttle black saMboTime: 13.00cInderellaTime: 15.00aladdIn’s MagIc laMPTime: 17.00 Admission: 40hrvPuppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a)278-5808

FaIrytale In the attIc Dialogue in 3 actsTime: 11.00cat’s houseMusical in 2 actsTime: 12.00Admission: 40-50hrvLypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17)253-6219

a guest FroM sPacePlayTime: 11.00a Walk In the starry sky Educational programmeTime: 14.00Myths and legends oF the starsTime: 18.00Kyiv Planetarium (V Vasylkivska 57/3)287-7508

natalka PoltavkaPlay Time: 12.00Admission: 10-50hrv I Franko Theatre (I Franka 3)279-5921

24Wednesdaythe charMed chuMakMusical in 2 acts Time: 13.00Admission: 10-40hrvKyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2)425-4280

25ThursdayPatrIck & the WolFBallet in 1 act anIMals’ carnIval Ballet in 1 actTime: 13.00Admission: 10-40hrvKyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2)425-4280

a FaIr MessFolk burlesque in 2 actsTime: 12.00Admission: 40-50hrvLypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17)253-6219

The First Twenty YearsExhibition of works by Tobias Rosenberger (Germany), Ya Gallery (Khoryva 49b)From 18 OctoberTobias Rosenberger is a German artist who lives and works in Frankfurt. Having spent some time in the artistic residence of a little town here in Ukraine called Muzychi, he got to thinking about all those things which surround us and what they mean. His theory is that our first 20 years is a time when ‘things’ matter the most – space and time is limited and it’s our posses-sions we identify with. To prove this, Rosenberg-er's next exhibition includes the material of nine surveillance cameras, nine monitors and other modern paraphernalia. Get ready to see the world differently. For more information call 492-9203.

Konnichiwa!Yaponomania Festival of Japanese culture, Kyiv Expo Plaza (Salyutna 2b)20 & 21 October 10.00 to 18.00 Japan and Ukraine have been friends for 20 years,

and in celebration of that long and fruitful re-lationship, the Confetti Company is organis-ing a festival of Japanese culture. Come out this weekend and you’ll be treated to Japanese cooking, martial arts, ikebana (flower arrang-ing) master-classes, lectures on Eastern culture and traditions and much more! With all of this culture, Kyiv Expo Plaza will turn into a little To-kyo for two days. Check it out! Tickets are 60hrv, youth aged 8 – 16 are 10hrv, children under 7 get in free. For more information call 461-9493 or visit www.japanmania.kiev.ua

20Saturday MusIcal classIcs II Ballet for kids and parents Time: 12.00Admission: 30-150hrv Kyiv Theatre of Opera & Ballet for Children & Youth (Mezhyhirska 2)425-3116

the lIttle elePhantTime: 11.00thuMbelIna Time: 13.00Ivasyk telesykTime: 15.00the Frog PrIncess Time: 17.00 Admission: 40hrvPuppet Theatre (Hrushevskoho 1a)278-5808

the PrInce and the PrIncess Fairytale in 2 actsTime: 12.00Admission: 40-50hrvLypska Youth Theatre (Lypska 15/17)253-6219

terraPIaExhibition of paintings by Mykhailo

Deyak (CZ)Mystetska Zbirka Gallery

(Tereshchenkivska 13)Until 28 October099-245-1118

oF landscaPes and loveExhibition of photographs by Michael

McCafrey (US)Brucie Collections (Artema 55b)

Until 30 October205-4264

not naMedExhibition of paintings by Oleksandr

Sukholit (UA)Karas Gallery (Andriivskiy Uzviv 22a)

Until 30 October238-6531

sQuat on olehIvskaExhibition of art-works by Ukrainian artists

– Anatoliy Varvarov, Volodymyr Zaichenko, Volodymyr Padun, Ihor Konovalov, Serhiy

Kornichevsky, Eduard PotapenkovM17 (Antonovycha 102-104)

Until 22 October596-2030

sculPture and PaIntIngsExhibition of works by Vasyl Tatarsky and Alina Maksymenko (UA)Triptych Gallery (Desyatynna 13)Until 23 October279-2909

Personal exhIbItIonExhibition of paintings by Serhiy Lunyov (UA)Museum of Modern Art (Hlybochytska 17)Until 30 October201-4945

MaMaychuky. a tIMeless look.Exhibition of paintings by Anatoliy

Melnyk (UA)National Art Museum of Ukraine

(Hrushevskoho 6) Until 28 October

278-7454

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38.indb 13 16.10.2012 20:26:26

DARIA SHAPOVALOVA – she’s got her own television show, Fashion Week with Daria

Shapovalova, she blogs for Russian Vogue, she’s constantly on the run from one fashion week to the next across the continent, and she’s the organiser of Mercedes Benz Kiev Fashion Days. Why should you check out this next week of fashion fun? Read on…

Ukraine already has a Fashion Week, why Kiev Fashion Days?Ukraine didn’t have an International Fashion Week before Kiev Fashion Days, all it had was a Ukrainian one. The most important fact about Mercedes Benz Kiev Fashion Days is that it was created as a platform for talented designers with ambitions to conquer the international market. We are pushing the boundaries of the Ukrainian fashion industry and promoting Kyiv as a new destination for fashion devotees and as a new fashion capital. It’s no secret that we are trendsetters when it comes to inviting

Four Fashionable Days

Like No Other In a highly fashionable capital like Kyiv, it only makes sense to keep the fly men and women of this country ahead of the pack. We’ve got a fashion week, and thanks to Daria Shapovalova, we’ve got Mercedes Benz Kiev Fashion Days – a four-day round-up of shows, lectures, exhibitions and master classes from local and international personalities. It’s hot, it’s here, it’s now…

Fashion is a statement. It states some-thing about you. In need of a style? Make sure you check out the various events going on down at the Olympic

Stadium, because Ukraine couldn’t be better prepared for the upcoming spring/summer sea-son. But don’t take our word for it…

Ukrainian ANTON BELINSKIY has estab-lished himself as one of the most innova-

tive young designers of the new generation. He expertly combines different textures with archi-tectural silhouettes, creating both basics and statement pieces. Just a few years ago Anton was making capsule collections of 5 to10 items. These days, he’s a regular at MBKFD. How would you define your style? What in-spires you?The source of my inspiration is anything I see around me – the sharp shapes of the modern city landscape, quickly moving cars and people. I’m interested in the contrast of static urban objects with the dynamics of modern life.

You’re known for creating architectural, min-imalistic silhouettes. How do they resonate with you?The person makes the dress, the dress doesn’t make the person. Minimalism underlines the personality of the wearer, it reveals her inner qualities, and it does not hide anything. As for architecture – it’s always interested me how it shapes space and makes the invisible vivid. That’s exactly what clothes do to people.

Describe the typical woman you create for.The image of the ideal woman has always been my mother. The essence of the ideal woman I see in Maya Plesetskaya – a woman-legend impervi-ous to time and thus always modern. That is the woman I sew for – one able to inspire Cardin, Chanel and new generations.

There are contradictory comments that exist about your past shows – one critic calls you the most perceptive young designer, while another derides you for ragged fabrics and im-perfect cut. How would you respond?Each critic has the right to his own opinion; and by the way those controversial statements never stopped either of them from wearing my clothes! What means the most to me is that my clothes are comfortable for my clients – they mix my pieces easily with well-known European brands.

How would you define the word “stylish”?For me, stylish clothing doesn’t suppress or hide the individuality of the person wearing it. For spring-summer 2013, I’m not going to shock or surprise anyone – I’m aiming for a new emotional experience, to give people a chance to discover something about themselves through fashion.

international guests: buyers, journalists, edi-tors. This season, we have people from Another Magazine, Italian Vogue, Dazed, Nowfashion.com, Tranoï, L’eclaireur and many other fash-ion industry insiders.

What is your style?My style is cosmopolitan and easy-going for the daytime, but for special occasions I love to dress in fashionable outfits and I am not afraid to wear very exceptional pieces by such designers as Comme des Garçons, Junya Watanabe or Haider Ackermann. I am also fond of different combina-tions and all sorts of layering, and you can see me dressed in many brands, both luxury and mass-market.

Is this what is represented at MBKFD? Or do you think it is a broader concept?MBKFD definitely has a broader concept, be-cause it is not a mere fashion or social event. We create a universe and shape a whole new way of thinking and understanding fashion.

What will be different about this season’s event as compared to last season?For the very first time, we will have representa-tives from both Tranoï and Vauxhall Fashion Scout. Also, one significant innovation for us is an open showroom for those designers and labels who want to showcase their works to the audi-ence and international guests.

14Yohanca Delgado, Kateryna Kyselyova, Lana Nicole

Kyiv Culture

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295 Films

Since 1970, the Molodist International Film Festival has been one of Kyiv’s most anticipated annual events. Discovering new and unique cinematic heavyweights each and every year, a heady selection of 295 student, short and full-length films from local and international directors, producers and screenwriters is at your disposal this October. Included in the mix is short Nuclear Waste, by Myroslav Slaboshpytsky – it won a Silver Leopard at this year’s Locarno Film Festival in Switzerland.

Molodist 42 ScheduleAs tradition states, the festival’s programme is split into competition and non-competi-tion entries in categories Student, Short and Full-length films. Complementing the usual suspects, there are a few more groupings this year, some of which include French Connec-tion (French-language movies), German Wave (German-language films) and Long Nights of Shortcuts – French, German and Swiss shorts. Plus, the festival has put together a number of retrospectives – the one on the life and work of Bohdan Stupka is not to be missed! Below are some of the highlights. For full listings, check out www.molodist.com

20 October – FesTIval OpenIng15.15 The Man Who lies (Kyiv Cinema, Red hall)Retrospective Screening – Alain Robbe-Grillet. A story of sophisticated lies, seduction and human drama.17.00 The White Bird Marked with Black (Kinopalats) Retrospective Screening – Bohdan Stupka. It was this film by Yuriy Illenko that turned Bohdan Stupka into a star. 19.00 pieta (Kyiv Cinema, Blue hall) Retrospective Screening – Kim Ki-duk. This is the Golden Lion prizewinner at this year’s Venice Film Festival, and a story quite typical for the famous South Korean filmmaker. 23.30 long nights of short Films: switzerland (Kyiv Cinema, Red hall)

21 October10.00, 12.30, 17.00 student Competition (Kyiv Cinema, Blue hall)17.45 Trans-europ-express (Kyiv Cinema, Cinemateka hall)Retrospective Screening – Alain Robbe-Grillet. Three characters take a train from Paris to Antwerp on a dope run. 19.20 legs-atavizm (Kyiv Cinema, Blue hall)Week of Russian Cinema – a film by Mikhail Mestets-kiy which won several awards at Kinotavr 2012 in Sochi. 21.30 sister / l’enfant d’en haut (Zhovten Cinema, Gegemon hall)French Connection – a story of individual choice and escape, which won a Silver Bear in Berlin this year.

22 October15.00 national Competition (Kyiv Cinema, Blue hall)Among the various shorts presented, make sure you take in Myroslav Slaboshpytsky’s screening of Nuclear Waste. 21.00 The almost Man (Kinopalats)Festival of Festivals – a film by Martin Lund (Norway), the Grand Prix winner of the Karlovy Vary Festival. 21.30 Hard stop (Kyivska Rus Cinema)German Wave – a love-story in the age of digital gadgets.

23 October17.00 Our Own (Kinopalats)Bohdan Stupka Retrospective – another film in the series revealing the outstanding talent of the Ukrainian actor.

16 Kyiv Kino Kateryna Kyselyova

My Own Personal Chornobyl Myroslav Slaboshpytsky has recently re-turned from Switzerland. He’s in high de-mand these days, but agrees to meet me at this year’s Molodist headquarters, Kyiv Cin-ema. As we sit down, I want to know what the Locarno Leopard means to him. His answer is one of utter satisfaction: “This festival has been ongoing for 65 years. This particular award has been in existence since 1968, and no other Ukrainian director has ever been its recipient, until now. If I were to respond in just one sentence – it is historical!”Even without this award, Slaboshpytsky is assured of his place in Ukraine’s cinemato-graphic history – his shorts were featured at the Berlin International Film Festival in both 2009 and 2010. Commenting on his festival experiences, he says, “You can’t help but get excited when your film is included on a com-petition list in festivals like Locarno or Ven-ice. They only choose 20 or so productions out of several thousand applicants which come from all over the world.”Generally, Myroslav sticks to exploring af-flictive social topics in his shorts, such as Ukraine’s fight with HIV/AIDS in Diagnosis, or what it might be like to be deaf in Deaf-ness. His latest film Nuclear Waste fits into that social category also, as it looks at the disaster that was Chornobyl. What makes it that much more special, however, is it comprises a personal element as well – My-roslav worked there in 1996 – 1997. “I have my own personal Chornobyl experience,” he says. “Despite the barbed wire and armed militia on watch, there is a feeling of free-dom. What’s more, the feeling is irrational and mystic and can be found throughout

Taking its respected place among other international film-festivals, Molodist has been around for 42 years. In keeping with the quality and quantity

of films from years past, 2012 is no different, and showcases an incredibly long list of marvel-lous motion pictures. Among them, is Myroslav Slaboshpytsky’s short, Nuclear Waste. Winning second place at this year’s Locarno Film Festi-val, the 23-minute strip takes a look at ordinary life in a very unordinary place – the 30-kilometre Chornobyl zone. What’s On gets an exclusive in-terview with the director himself.

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St Petersburg’s EliteLeningrad (Russia, ska-punk, rock), Stereo Plaza (Kikvidze 1)9 november at 19.00Formed in 1997 in St Peters-burg (formerly Leningrad), this band, headed by singer/gui-tarist Serhiy Shnurov, quickly found themselves at the top of the musical ranks, thanks to the rebellious message in many of their songs. Often rude, and sometimes inappropriate for children, these guys know how to rock regardless of their age, and are still enjoyed most espe-cially by the cynical and sarcas-tic masses. With their 15th al-bum released last year, Shnurov brings Leningrad to Kyiv to play a whole concert of hits.Tickets are 250 – 1,200hrv. For more information call 222-8040.

Hardcore Techno Explosion Angerfist (Netherlands), Noize Suppressor (Italy) and Miss K8 (UA), Home (Perova 2)16 november at 22.00Fans of hardcore techno and gabber beats won’t want to miss this congregation of all-stars. Enthusiasts have dubbed Dutch DJ Angerfist the “king of hard-core” and his 2004 album Raise Your Fist made him a global name. His latest album, Retali-ate, was released in 2011, when Angerfist was named 39th best DJ in the world by DJ Magazine. As his worldwide tour hits Kyiv, Italian DJ Noize Suppressor will join the act, along with hardcore queen DJ Miss K8. Call 383-7738 for more informa-tion.

I Do!Serebryana Svadba (Belorussia, fusion), Tolstoy Club (V Vasylkivska 19)26 October at 22.00Formed in 2005, Belorussian band Serebryana Svadba ("Silver Wedding") is particularly popu-lar in Russia for their circus-like concerts. Singing in Russian, French and German, theirs is a cocktail of French chanson, country, Russian folk songs and Latino rhythms. Here in Kyiv next week, they bring with them their second studio album, called Laterna Magica. Take them in, they’re good for an evening of silliness and tomfoolery which you’re bound to enjoy. Tickets are 150hrv. For more in-formation call 200-3838.

Scared? You Will Be! Kids’ Halloween, Divosvit – Sky Hall (M Malynovskoho 24/10)28 October at 17.00The scariest day of the year is lurking around the corner, and a scary good time awaits both kids and parents in Divosvit. The par-ty gets started at 17.00, and with a whole bunch of menacing mon-sters on the invite list, your kids are going to have a great time. Upon arrival, everyone gets their photo taken, and then it’s all fun and games with crafts, dancing, tasty treats and even a super prize raffle. You don’t have to come in costume, but it’s worth it if you do, as entrance into the Dinopark, where kids can play with ‘real’ dinosaurs, is free! Get your little ones gussied up and bring them on out tonight!Tickets are 130 – 200hrv. For more information call 502-0088.

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Yohanca Delgado

T he brainchild of design duo Natalia Kamenskaya and Olesya Kononova, kamenskakononova has garnered se-rious accolades since its 2008 launch.

Considered one of Ukraine’s top five fashion brands, Glamour Russia put them in the top 10 of emerging designers in the CIS last year. Known for their re-interpretation of the classic silhou-ette and their emphasis on minimalist cuts and austere colour palettes and textures, we get an up-close-and-personal look at the new collection and all the commotion backstage at this season’s Ukraine Fashion Week.

A Woman’s Work is Never Done After the show, we catch up briefly with a teary-eyed Natalia and Olesya as they pose for pictures and hug their models. “This collection is something feral, wild, and aggressively sexy. We envisioned a Stone Age woman, strong and unafraid. Deviating from our typical silhouette, we wanted to break out of those confines.” And then they are off to celebrate a successful show. They didn’t stay out too late, however: “We’re off to Moscow in one week for their fashion week, and we still have to prepare the show and sew up samples to leave behind for buyers there!”

Feminine AggressionThe backstage area of UFW is a circus an hour before the show. Models scrub off makeup and nail polish as they transition from one show to the next. Katya, a Maybelline makeup artist, talks to us while she brushes or-ange-red face paint onto a model’s forehead, explaining that it takes about 30 minutes to prepare each girl’s face and that there are about 20 girls per show. After the girl is finished, she moves down the assembly line to the hair stylist, where her hair is flat-ironed pin straight. The lovely Iryna Pavlyk, CEO of kamenskakononova, explains the red face paint “reflects the accent colour in the collection. It is aggressive and we’re balancing it out with very simple makeup.” The jarring composite reflects the juxtaposition between natural and urban, soft femininity and aggression.

Organised ChaosModel Irina Kravchenko, a native Kyivite on her second season of the global fashion week circuit, spares a few minutes in between getting ready. Hav-ing just arrived from the New York, Milan, and Paris fashion weeks, the 21-year-old is in high demand. She walked for three shows in this season’s UFW, and exclusively as the opening and finale model – a big accomplish-ment considering that Irina only took up modelling eight months ago. She opened and closed the kamenskakononova show, as well. As she heads off to change, she calls out, “I’m so happy to be home!” Models flit in and out of changing rooms as stylists make finishing touches. Within a few minutes, the models are changed and everyone stands near the stage, watching via a large TV screen as the audience begin to file in and take their seats. A flurry of excitement works its way through the crowd like a wave, as announcers ask everyone to take their seats. As if in a world of their own, Natalia and Olesya move wordlessly down the line, adjusting hems and examining each girl’s outfit for imperfections.

The Catwalk Our friend Irina, resplendent in a gorgeous black sheath, hits the runway first, launching the show of months of hard work by the brand’s team of de-signers and seamstresses. Like athletes ready for a race, the wardrobe girls wait next to their clothing racks, primed to change the girls into their sec-ond outfits. “There are usually 2-3 wardrobe changes per girl. We arrive four hours before the show to make sure everything looks good,” they tell us. The girls are friendly as they wait to walk, and their youth shines through as they ask me what my name is, how old I am, and where I’m from. Sud-denly the first wave of models comes running out, and ignoring the dozens of cameramen, undresses completely. I learn the wardrobe girls have cloth bags they give the models when they are topless so that any nude pictures taken of them are not linked to their faces or names.

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National Day of Spain and 20-years of Friendship with UkraineKYIV CITY COUNCIL On 20 October, Spanish Ambassador HE Jose Rodriguez Moyano invited his Ukrainian and foreign friends and colleagues to the Kyiv City Council to celebrate 20 years of Spanish-Ukrainian diplomatic relations. In addition to celebrating the friendship between Spain and Ukraine, officials also raised their glasses to mark Spain’s National Day. The evening was filled with interesting discussion and warm congratulations.

Deputy Inspector of the Spanish Embassy Jose Antonio Milan Morillas together with Commercial Attaché of the Spanish Embassy May Abrain

Canadian Ambassador HE Troy Lulashnyk

Turkish Ambassador HE Mehmet Samsar and his wife Mrs Feruza Samsar

Deputy Director of the Cabinet of the Prime Minister of Ukraine Serhiy Kamyshev together with the Spanish Ambassador HE Jose Rodriguez Moyano

The EBRD’s Andre Kuusvek with the Vice-President and President of UIA, Victor Fomenko and Yuriy Miroshnikov

German Ambassador HE Christof Weil and Deputy Head of Mission at German Embassy Susanne Schutz

Argentinian Ambassador HE Lila Roldan Vázquez de Moine and

Maria Isabel Roque Garret

Rufino Mba Ebebele of the Spanish Embassy with the Director of the Ukrainian Cinema Foundation Andriy Khalpakhchi

22 Kyiv Life Find more photos of these events on the What’s On Facebook page at facebook.com/whatson.kyiv

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Almost That Time of Year FINNISH AMBASSADOR’S RESIDENCE In contrast to the numerous friendly faces we often see at the various networking events around town, the Embassy of Finland in Ukraine went out on a limb last week with a very special guest indeed. Nine reindeer pulled up with Santa Claus or Joulupukki, as the Fins call him, in tow on 11 October. Greeting everyone with a few Ho Ho Hos, he shuffled into the Embassy in full regalia, sat down and then listened patiently as all the good boys and girls listed off their Christmas wishes.

A Wild Ride for the Business Elite KINOPALACE Members of ACC came out in droves on October 9 for the screening of the newest thriller by Oliver Stone, Savages. Because the movies are shown in their original language, these events always garner a large English-speaking crowd, many of whom belong to the ever-growing expat community. Arriving with plenty of time to spare, a little mingling was enjoyed by all, along with tasty snacks and drinks provided by sponsors.

Iryna Kryvushkina of Delta Airlines (right) and friend take in ACC movie night

Black & Veatch’s Valentyna Abdullina (right) and friend caught on camera

Freddy Pullar of Millennium Commercial Enterprises with Daria Bosa of Shooters

Dario Marchetti of Danone whetting his whistle before

the show

Aare Kasemaa and Angela Uibo from TallinkSilja salute What’s On!

Finnish Embassy’s Second Secretary Turo Mattila, Mrs Anna Soini and Client Manager of Finnavia Svitlana Ignatenko

Ambassador of Finland Arja Makkonen with husband Dr Timo Hellenberg

Joulupukki chatting to all of the good boys and girls

Find more photos of these events on the What’s On Facebook page at facebook.com/whatson.kyiv

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On the Fifth Day of Fashion…BUDDHA BAR AND BOTANIC GARDEN The opening party of Ukraine Fashion Week on 9 October launched a dizzying array of fashion collections and parties. The fifth Eco-Chic Party was held on 13 October and it seamlessly combined fashion with lessons about environmental protection. To spread the word about recycling, the organisers asked guests to bring used clothing to exchange with other fashionistas, giving each article of clothing a new life. Then, as everything must, this season’s fashion madness drew to a close on 14 October. But we’re already looking forward to a fresh set of innovative collections in six months!

Fashion observer Masha Khalizeva, Sonya Zabuha of Elle Ukraine and Ukrainian Fashion Week’s Iryna Danilevska

Culinary guru and popular TV-host Dasha Malakhova holds a cooking master class for kids

TV host Vasya Frolova and photographer Oleksandr Strizhelchik

The ideological mastermind of the Eco Chic Party Natalya Isupova

Designer Anna Bublik brings red back in fashion

A rather modest Oleksiy Zalevskiy, designer

Marta Holod with her newest collection

TV star Oleksandr Skichko and popular designer Serge Smolin

24 Kyiv Life

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Swedish Football Fans Kyiv authorities announced that the city will erect a monument to Swedish football fans. A contest will be held to choose the shape of

the sculpture, which will be erected at a site on Trukhaniv Island, where a record number of our Swedish friends stayed during Euro 2012.

Armed dolphinsThe Ukrainian Navy announced this month that it hopes to train dolphins to “attack enemy com-bat swimmers using special

knives or pistols affixed to their heads”. Your tax hryvnias hard at work, people.

The Tymoshenko CampThe pro-Tymoshenko camp on Khreshchatyk, with all its creepy pictures of Yanukovych’s head on pigs’ bodies, will live to see another

day. Deputy Interior Minister Viktor Ratushniak prom-ised that police would not tear down the camp on Oc-tober 27, when all political campaigning will be banned ahead of the parliamentary election the next day.

Passive Aggressive “Advice”

Regions Party leader and Ukrai-nian Prime Minister Mykola Azarov advised UDAR Party lead-er Vitaliy Klitschko to cut his

teeth on local politics before entering the national arena last week. “He should try his hand at simpler things.” Instead of running for office in Kyiv, Azarov helpfully suggested that Klitschko set his sights on Boyarka instead.

The Internet According to a recent study by the Ukrainian Internet Association, only 30% of Ukrainians are Inter-net users, as compared to 60% of Europeans. But the number is

rising quickly, with experts predicting that Ukraine might catch up in as little as 18 months. Soon we’ll ALL be watching Gangnam Style and stalking distant acquaintances on VKontakte and Facebook.

Nobel Peace PrizeIn what may be the world’s lamest example of “mailing it in”, Scandi-navian judges awarded the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize to the European

Union. Apparently, falling apart financially and squab-bling amongst yourselves will get you a prize. Are we taking notes? 2013 could be all about Ukraine.

Recently I paid my first visit to a little pub/restaurant many have been raving about down in that beautifully colourful but

ghost town-like area in Podil. Now, perhaps I’m just difficult to please, or maybe my expectations had been raised too high by everyone’s ravings, but I have to say I was suitably unimpressed.As a pub/restaurant goes, it was standard, with dark wood and a few bits of tat strategically placed on the walls. But there certainly wasn’t anything outstanding about it. And the fact the waiters/waitresses were all wearing poor imitation kilts seemed to have absolutely no point, as there was no other Scottish element I could make out.That said, the music was good (rock, as is hint-ed at in the name of the place), and there was a nice little atmosphere, even late on a Sunday af-ternoon. Okay, so it wasn’t something to shout about as far as I could see, but it seemed like a cool place to hang out. I was in good company (always by far the most important thing for me), and we were ready to drink beer and talk nonsense (always my favou-rite pastime). They sold beer I was sure, and I’d been reliably informed the food was good and reasonably priced. It was easy to be positive. Time to order beer!A quick glance at the menu, however, and my positivity slips a little as almost all the draft beer on offer is expensive import. No quality Slavutych or Chernihivske here. In fact, the only local beer on offer is their own brand, but they’re selling that at 38hrv per half-litre, which is much more than I like to pay for a half-litre of beer. One of my companions, who’s been to this place before, rubs her hands to-gether with glee and tells me “wait and see” as we order one each, it being the best one on offer.

And what have I to wait and see? The beer comes in a jar with a lid sat on a wooden tray with an opener, and (joy of joys) two dead fish (dried). Well whoopdedoo. Just give me it in a glass without all the useless paraphernalia, knock 10hrv off the price and I and my companions will be much happier. Call me a penny pincher, but there’s a crisis going on.I perk up again by reminding myself that someone had told me this place does a very good Florentine (T-bone) steak. I like a good T-bone steak, so I’m looking forward to it. But get ready, there’s another big “but” coming. I look at the menu and find the Florentine steak on offer is 1.2 kilos and sells for 349hrv. Now as I said, I like a good T-bone, I even like a big T-bone, but 1.2 kilos is just too big for me. I cannot, for the life of me, understand the rea-soning behind it. Why not cut them in half both in price and size? I think they’d find their customers would be much happier with it, and they’d sell a lot more of them. I ask the waiter about it and he tells me it’s for two people. Two people, one T-bone? That doesn’t make sense to me at all.Anyway, I have the lamb instead, which while tasty is a lot of bone and not a lot of meat. And after eating I get on with the important task of drinking beer and talking nonsense. And we do that with vigour.Only one last comment to make – when leaving, all the waiting staff are gathered round the bar: six of them. The place is of a size that justifies two. Who’s paying for the extras?Perhaps I’m being pernickety, but as they say, the devil is in the detail. More Kyiv eateries should pay attention to it.

Neil Campbell

Dear Larry,Why are some fancy buildings in town still not equipped with sit-down/European toilets? And how does one squat and pee when outfitted in a ball-gown?Yours truly, The wife of bestselling author, Steve Franzia

Dear Steve Franzia’s Wife, I have it on good authority that ladies only use the bathroom for “powdering their noses” and ask-ing their friends if this dress makes them look fat. They do not “need” real toilets because they do not have real bodily functions. This is why, for example, the bathroom at October Palace consists entirely of glorified holes in the ground. They are only there as (beautiful) decoration. Using those to actually tinkle lady-style would require impossible contortionist and acrobatic feats… but we know you ladies won’t need to try that. Best of Luck, Larry, Local Bathroom Habits Expert

If you have a question about life, work or relationships in Kyiv please write to agonyaunt@whatson-kiev.com

27

TraFFIC-BaseD aDrenalIne, TraFFIC-BaseD DIsMaY, BrIDges, KYIv COMers anD gOers…IT’s all In TWeeTs OF THe WeeK! Alistair Cockburn @TotherAlistair is having a moment: In taxi zinging thru streets of Kiev. Feel like Bourne Identity. Mike Lee @AgronomyUkraine is less charmed by Kyiv traffic: Just driven through Kiev, counted 16 car crashes of various degrees of severity.Natalie Joos @Jxxsy wants a progress report: Good morning Kiev! How is that bridge coming along? @ Fairmont Grand Hotel KyivOksana Kairys @oksune4ka has a foolproof plan for the weekend: Today will be a great day. My journey to Kiev will be awesome! Absolutely sure! #trip #kiev #week-end #drunkpartyBrian @briandroitcour is just sad to leave: ugh Kiev is so charming, I want to stay a week but I’m leaving right now

Provocations and Observations

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MayJune All Outlets

PARTIES PACKAGEMay 1st – July 31th Dine 2 or more & Get a 300 UAHVoucher valid for the next visit. Terms & Conditions Apply

�e Strand Grill LUNCH OFFERSEspresso Business Lunch Starting from 120 UAH Available from Mondays to Fridays – 12.30pm to 3.00pm

Salad BarStarting from 120 UAH Available from Mondays to Fridays – 12.30pm to 3.00pm

A La Carte Available from Mondays to Saturdays.

BRUNCH WITH BENEFITS BEGINS Sunday, May 13th Starting at 730 UAH per personChampagne on o�er!Chocolate & Bed Making Classes for KidsLounge DJ from 12pm to 3pm

CORPORATE DEALS LAUNCH From May 15th

please e-mail kyv.thestrand@fairmont.com for more information

Vintage Cocktail Bar CANAPES & MARTINIS Canapes & Martinis for 2 Hours @ 250 UAH / person.

EURO June 9th – July 1st Live EURO Games

1A Naberezhno-Khreshchatytska Street, KyivTel.   +380 44 322 8888

Email: kyiv@fairmont.com

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gorchitsacafe

Str. Pylypa Orlyka, 6Tel: +380 44 253 73 58

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N E W W O R DT R A N S L A T I O N S

+ 38 044 200 22 59 www.noveslovo.com

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