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ORIGINAL PAPER When friends exchange negative feedback Stacey R. Finkelstein 1 Ayelet Fishbach 2 Yanping Tu 3 Published online: 11 October 2016 Ó Springer Science+Business Media New York 2016 Abstract In four studies, we document an increase in the amount of negative feedback friends and colleagues exchange as their relationship deepens. We find that both actual and perceived relationship depth increase the amount of negative feedback people seek from and provide to each other, as well as their tendency to invest in a focal (relationship or performance) goal in response to negative feedback. The amount of positive feedback on goal pursuit, by contrast, remains stable as the relationship deepens. We attribute the increase in negative feedback to the different meaning of such feedback for people in deep versus shallow relationships: only in the context of deep relationships does negative feedback signal insufficient resource investment in the focal goal, and hence close friends and colleagues seek, provide, and respond to negative feedback. Keywords Negative feedback Á Relationship depth Á Goals Á Motivation Introduction The exchange of feedback is critical for pursuit of inter- personal and intrapersonal goals. People seek feedback from and provide feedback to those around them, including colleagues, family members, and friends (Anseel et al. 2007; Ashford et al. 2003; Ashford and Tsui 1991). Through feedback, people help each other promote various pursuits, such as academic, health, career, and relationship goals (Baker and McNulty 2013; Fitzsimons and Bargh 2003; Morrison and Weldon 1990; Renn and Fedor 2001; Williams and Johnson 2000). This article considers the negative feedback people exchange in pursuit of relationship and performance goals. We define feedback as information provided to someone about his or her performance in personal domains (e.g., at work) or in interpersonal domains (e.g., as a relationship partner) in order to boost performance in that area, and we define goals as a cognitive representation of relationship and performance desired end states (Fishbach and Ferguson 2007; Kruglanski 1996). We distinguish between positive feedback (e.g., sufficient relationship investment, personal strengths) and negative feedback (e.g., lack of relationship investment, personal weaknesses), and ask how relation- ship depth influences the prevalence of negative feedback. Specifically, we ask how relationship depth influences the negative feedback people give to and seek from each other, and how they respond to negative feedback. From a learning perspective, positive feedback increases the frequency of behavior through positive reinforcement (Bolles 1972; Custers and Aarts 2005). In addition, positive feedback boosts self-esteem (Reis and Shaver 1988; Swann 1987) and improves the experience of a relationship with the feedback provider (Clark and Lemay 2010; Depaulo and Kashy 1998); hence, we could expect positive feed- back to prevail and for people to generally avoid negative feedback. However, whereas negative feedback is often undesirable and self-threatening, people sometimes seek constructive negative feedback that conveys useful infor- mation (Aspinwall 1998; Trope and Neter 1994). Indeed, & Stacey R. Finkelstein [email protected] 1 Department of Marketing, Zicklin School of Business, Baruch College, 55 Lexington Ave, New York, NY 10010, USA 2 Booth School of Business, University of Chicago, 5807 S. Woodlawn, Chicago, IL 60637, USA 3 Department of Marketing, Warrington College of Business Administration, University of Florida, Stuzin Hall, Box 117155, Gainesville, FL 32611, USA 123 Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83 DOI 10.1007/s11031-016-9589-z

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Page 1: When friends exchange negative feedback - Booth School of ...faculty.chicagobooth.edu/ayelet.fishbach/research/FFT moem.pdf · ORIGINAL PAPER When friends exchange negative feedback

ORIGINAL PAPER

When friends exchange negative feedback

Stacey R. Finkelstein1 • Ayelet Fishbach2 • Yanping Tu3

Published online: 11 October 2016

� Springer Science+Business Media New York 2016

Abstract In four studies, we document an increase in the

amount of negative feedback friends and colleagues exchange

as their relationship deepens. We find that both actual and

perceived relationship depth increase the amount of negative

feedback people seek from and provide to each other, aswell as

their tendency to invest in a focal (relationship or performance)

goal in response to negative feedback. The amount of positive

feedback on goal pursuit, by contrast, remains stable as the

relationship deepens. We attribute the increase in negative

feedback to the different meaning of such feedback for people

in deep versus shallow relationships: only in the context of deep

relationships does negative feedback signal insufficient

resource investment in the focal goal, and hence close friends

andcolleagues seek, provide, and respond tonegative feedback.

Keywords Negative feedback � Relationship depth �Goals � Motivation

Introduction

The exchange of feedback is critical for pursuit of inter-

personal and intrapersonal goals. People seek feedback

from and provide feedback to those around them, including

colleagues, family members, and friends (Anseel et al.

2007; Ashford et al. 2003; Ashford and Tsui 1991).

Through feedback, people help each other promote various

pursuits, such as academic, health, career, and relationship

goals (Baker and McNulty 2013; Fitzsimons and Bargh

2003; Morrison and Weldon 1990; Renn and Fedor 2001;

Williams and Johnson 2000).

This article considers the negative feedback people

exchange in pursuit of relationship and performance goals.

We define feedback as information provided to someone

about his or her performance in personal domains (e.g., at

work) or in interpersonal domains (e.g., as a relationship

partner) in order to boost performance in that area, and we

define goals as a cognitive representation of relationship

and performance desired end states (Fishbach and Ferguson

2007; Kruglanski 1996). We distinguish between positive

feedback (e.g., sufficient relationship investment, personal

strengths) and negative feedback (e.g., lack of relationship

investment, personal weaknesses), and ask how relation-

ship depth influences the prevalence of negative feedback.

Specifically, we ask how relationship depth influences the

negative feedback people give to and seek from each other,

and how they respond to negative feedback.

From a learning perspective, positive feedback increases

the frequency of behavior through positive reinforcement

(Bolles 1972; Custers and Aarts 2005). In addition, positive

feedback boosts self-esteem (Reis and Shaver 1988; Swann

1987) and improves the experience of a relationship with

the feedback provider (Clark and Lemay 2010; Depaulo

and Kashy 1998); hence, we could expect positive feed-

back to prevail and for people to generally avoid negative

feedback. However, whereas negative feedback is often

undesirable and self-threatening, people sometimes seek

constructive negative feedback that conveys useful infor-

mation (Aspinwall 1998; Trope and Neter 1994). Indeed,

& Stacey R. Finkelstein

[email protected]

1 Department of Marketing, Zicklin School of Business,

Baruch College, 55 Lexington Ave, New York, NY 10010,

USA

2 Booth School of Business, University of Chicago, 5807 S.

Woodlawn, Chicago, IL 60637, USA

3 Department of Marketing, Warrington College of Business

Administration, University of Florida, Stuzin Hall,

Box 117155, Gainesville, FL 32611, USA

123

Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83

DOI 10.1007/s11031-016-9589-z

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the meaning of negative feedback—whether it communi-

cates to the receiver insufficient investment in the goal—

can determine its motivational impact and therefore its

frequency.

Specifically, feedback can inform individuals either of

their level of commitment to or their rate of progress

toward a goal (Fishbach et al. 2014; Fishbach et al. 2010).

Positive feedback increases motivation when it signals

commitment, defined as the perception that the goal is

valuable and expectancy of success is high (Bandura 1991;

Feather 1982; Fishbein and Ajzen 1974). Negative feed-

back, by contrast, increases motivation when it signals lack

of goal progress or insufficient resource investment in the

goal (i.e., the presence of discrepancy; Carver and Scheier

1998; Higgins 1987). Therefore, the meaning people imbue

feedback with would determine its motivational conse-

quences; positive feedback will only increase motivation

when it signals commitment, and negative feedback will

only increase motivation if individuals interpret it as sug-

gesting they are investing too little in their goals. Other-

wise, negative feedback might be a cue to disengage

because the activity or relationship is less desirable as a

result of the negative feedback.

Relationship depth increases exchange of negativefeedback

Previous research finds individuals’ concerns with moni-

toring progress, and thus their tendency to interpret per-

formance feedback as referring to progress, emerges later

in the course of self-regulation, only once commitment has

been established (Ashford and Cummings 1983; Brunstein

and Gollwitzer 1996; Koo and Fishbach 2008). For

example, experts benefit from negative feedback, which

they take as a signal for lack of sufficient progress, and

increase their engagement in their domain of expertise.

Novices do not experience similar benefits from negative

feedback. Thus, in one study in the environmental domain,

members of environmental organizations (experts) had

higher donation rates and amounts than novices, after they

all received negative (but not positive) feedback on their

recycling (Study 2; Finkelstein and Fishbach 2012).

One major factor that could influence the meaning of

negative feedback is the depth of the relationship between

the feedback giver and feedback recipient. We conceptu-

alize relationship depth as the degree of interdependence

between people, resulting from ongoing interactions (Kel-

ley et al. 1983; Kelley and Thibaut 1978). We focus on

non-romantic and non-familial friendships, where interde-

pendence does not necessarily involve intimacy. Specifi-

cally, we define relationship depth as a function of an

individual’s perceived (1) frequency of communication, (2)

relationship length, (3) similarity to relationship partner,

and (4) closeness to relationship partner (Berscheid et al.

2004; Reis et al. 2004; Izard 1960; Rusbult and Van Lange

2003). These aspects of relationship depth are distinct, yet

they are generally correlated and jointly influence the

experience of relationship depth. Thus, people who expe-

rience their relationships as deeper communicate with their

friends frequently and for a substantial period of time, tend

to have similar experiences or preferences, and also plan to

maintain closeness or become closer to a relationship

partner in the future. Importantly, relationship depth is to a

large extent a subjective experience that fluctuates

depending on the context. For example, the same rela-

tionship (e.g., with a colleague at work) will appear deeper

when a person considers the things that will make her

closer to versus further from her colleague.

We predict that relationship depth influences the

meaning of negative feedback and, as a result, the fre-

quency and impact of such feedback in goal pursuit.

Individuals in deeper relationships will view negative

feedback from a friend as a signal for low investment in the

feedback domain (i.e., low progress) more than individuals

in shallower relationships, and this interpretation encour-

ages those in deeper relationships to exchange negative

feedback and increase resource investment in response to

negative feedback.

The reason negative feedback means something different

(i.e., low progress) for those who perceive their relation-

ships as deep versus shallow is that in deep relationships,

friends’ commitment to each other is stable and secure;

hence, both the giver and the receiver operate under the

assumption that negative feedback will not undermine

commitment and is meant, instead, to motivate action. A

deep relationship thus increases the focus on monitoring

investment, and those in deep relationships will interpret

negative feedback as indicative of how much investment

needs to be made. For example, negative feedback from a

close colleague on one’s poor performance at work would

signal low investment (progress) in one’s performance

goals more than if the same feedback came from a more

distant work acquaintance, presumably because in a deep

relationship, the feedback giver and recipient assume high

commitment to performance.

In contrast to negative feedback, we expect that rela-

tionship depth will not influence the meaning and thereby

the frequency and impact of positive feedback. Positive

feedback increases motivation through commitment. For

deep relationships, positive feedback confirms commit-

ment, and for shallow relationships, positive feedback

increases commitment; hence, regardless of depth, positive

feedback signals commitment and is beneficial. Indeed,

positive feedback helps keep the relationship strong and

supportive (Shiota et al. 2004); therefore, positive feedback

70 Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83

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should not decrease in frequency and impact with rela-

tionship depth.

People who experience their relationships as deeper are

thus expected to exchange more negative feedback on in-

trapersonal goals (e.g., how well they manage their career

and health) as well as on their interpersonal (relationship)

goals. The concept of ‘‘relationship goals’’ refers to the

goals people hold for their relationships, including their

goals to advance the relationship to the next level (e.g.,

when colleagues wish to start hanging out after work) and

maintain what they currently have (e.g., not grow apart).

Notably, by ‘‘relationship goals,’’ we do not refer to the

goals for which the relationships serve as means (as in Hui

et al. 2013; Maisel and Gable 2009; Murray et al. 2000).

Three modalities of feedback: seeking, giving,and responding

Research on self-regulation traditionally focused on how

people respond to feedback, by manipulating the feedback

individuals receive (e.g., positive vs. negative) and mea-

suring its motivational consequences (Clarkson et al. 2010;

Dweck and Leggett 1988; Kappes et al. 2012; Rafferty and

Bizer 2009). Yet people do not just respond to feedback;

they actively seek feedback and give feedback to others (the

latter are two relatively understudied modes, Ashford et al.

2003). For example, people ask others to point out what they

like about them, including their appearance and behaviors,

or they ask others to suggest how they can improve (Brennan

and Morns 1997; Hepper and Carnelley 2010). Further,

people often assume the role of feedback givers, and provide

feedback to spur behavioral change in the recipients across a

number of domains. For example, people give others feed-

back on their performance on personal goals (e.g., whether

they are performing well at work) as well as on how

responsive they are to their relationship partner (e.g., whe-

ther they neglected the feedback giver).

Our prediction regarding the increase in negative feed-

back as a function of relationship depth should thus apply

across these three modalities—seeking, giving, and

responding. Specifically, as the relationship deepens, we

expect people to seek more negative feedback, give more

negative feedback, and respond more to negative feedback

by engaging in behavioral change. We further expect that

the meaning of feedback changes as a function of depth;

negative feedback is more of a signal of low progress in

deep relationships than in shallow ones. We note that

whereas prior research on relationship maintenance mea-

sured depth and feedback, we manipulate these variables to

better isolate the unique impact of relationship depth on

feedback seeking, giving, and responding.

We propose several boundary conditions. First, we

assume people’s motivation as receiver and giver of feed-

back is first and foremost to facilitate improvement (Ash-

ford and Tsui 1991; Trope and Neter 1994). Clearly, other

motives also underlie feedback, such as the desire to

enhance self-esteem (Tesser 1988) or validate a person’s

view of herself (Kraus and Chen 2009; Kwang and Swann

2010). Second, we predict an increase in the exchange of

constructive, negative feedback. If, for example, the neg-

ative feedback is aggressive and non-constructive, we

would not expect an increase as the relationship deepens.

Further, such aggressive and non-constructive feedback is

relatively rare and undesirable (Blumberg 1972; Tesser and

Rosen 1975; Yariv 2006). Third, we focus on feedback

among equals, where there is little difference in hierarchy

or power between the feedback provider and recipient.

Whereas the improvement motive is often dominant when

one is seeking feedback from equals, in hierarchical rela-

tionships, the self-esteem motive often supersedes the

improvement motive. That is, in hierarchical relationships,

those in low power tend to avoid negative feedback that

undermines their self-concept (Anseel et al. 2007; Sedi-

kides and Strube 1995).

Next, we present four studies that operationalize rela-

tionship depth as perceived frequency of communication,

length of friendship, similarity, and closeness (e.g., Reis

et al. 2004). In our studies, we both manipulate (Studies 1,

2, 4) and measure (Study 3) relationship depth. We argue

that we can manipulate relationship depth because it is a

subjective experience. This manipulation, in turn, allows us

to test the causal impact of relationship depth on the

meaning and frequency of feedback on goal pursuit.

Specifically, we test our prediction in adult populations

(ages 18–78). In Study 1, we explore the feedback people

seek from each other across several different goal domains;

in Study 2, we assess feedback giving between colleagues;

and in Studies 3–4, we assess how people respond to

feedback from their deep versus shallow friends. These

studies further assess the meaning of feedback: whether

negative feedback signals insufficient effort investment to

those in deep relationships more than for those in shallow

relationships.

Study 1: Seeking negative feedback from closefriends

We hypothesize that people who perceive their relationship

as deep will seek more negative feedback from their friend.

To test this prediction, we manipulated participants’ per-

ceived relationship depth and assessed interest in negative

feedback across a variety of goals.

Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83 71

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Method

Participants

We pre-determined a sample size of at least 50 participants

per cell for this 2 between-subjects design. We collected

data from 147 MTurk workers, expecting that some par-

ticipants would fail attention checks, choose inappropriate

targets, or fail to complete the writing task as directed. We

made these determinations about participant exclusions

before data analysis.1 Two participants failed the attention

checks (i.e., they failed to enter a specific phrase and

number, and indicated they answered questions randomly;

e.g., Oppenheimer et al. 2009), two participants chose

inappropriate targets given our focus on interdependent

relationships (e.g., these participants chose a person they

were dating and a sibling instead of a nonromantic friend or

a non-family member), and 20 participants failed to com-

plete the writing task (provided nonsensical or no responses

to the manipulation), leaving us with 124 eligible partici-

pants (Mage = 34.91 years; range 17–75; 57 women).

Procedure

This study employed a 2 (relationship depth: shallow vs.

deep) between-subjects design. Participants were asked to

check their cell phone contacts and list the initials of the

first same-gender and similar-age acquaintance (‘‘neither a

stranger nor a close friend’’) on their list (from top to

bottom).

To manipulate relationship depth, in open-response

questions, we asked participants to (a) list three similarities

(vs. three dissimilarities) between themselves and their

listed acquaintance and to (b) list three things that might

make them feel closer to (vs. more distant from) that per-

son in the future, in the deep (vs. shallow) condition. For

example, participants in the deep-relationship condition

discussed having similar political views and outlooks on

life and that they would feel closer if they spent more time

with their friend, whereas those in the shallow-relationship

condition listed dissimilarities in habits (e.g., drinking and

smoking) and that they would feel more distant if they no

longer worked with their friend or if their friend moved out

of town.

Next, participants read that in the course of friendships,

friends often exchange positive feedback about what one

does well—one’s strengths—or how one can improve—

one’s weaknesses. They then assumed their listed person

could give them feedback across six domains, including

relationship goals: (1) ‘‘listening skills,’’ (2) ‘‘relationship

skills,’’ (3) ‘‘punctuality’’ in meetings with the listed friend,

and (4) ‘‘how often they have been in touch’’ with the listed

friend recently; and interpersonal goals: (5) ‘‘life choices’’

and (6) ‘‘taste in cultural items such as music, sports, or

clothing.’’

For each of the six domains, participants’ task was to

indicate whether they would rather receive ‘‘positive

feedback about what they do well (their strengths)’’ or

‘‘negative feedback regarding how they could improve or

do a better job (their weaknesses)’’ (forced choice). As a

manipulation check, at the end of the study, participants

rated how close they felt to their listed friend (1 = not

close at all, 7 = very close).

Results and discussion

In support of the manipulation, those in the deep-rela-

tionship condition reported feeling closer to their listed

friend (M = 4.15, SD = 1.26) than those in the shallow-

relationship condition (M = 3.66, SD = 1.37), t(122) =

2.08, p = .039, d = .37.

Next, we calculated the number of times participants

indicated they would like to receive negative feedback

from their listed friend on our forced-choice measure

(0 = participants preferred to receive positive feedback

across each of the six domains, 6 = participants preferred

to receive negative feedback across each of the six

domains). In support of our hypothesis, participants who

perceived their relationships as deep sought more negative

feedback (M = 3.42, SD = 1.57) than those who perceived

their relationships as shallow (M = 2.77, SD = 1.67),

t(122) = 2.24, p = .027, d = .40.

Finding that those in deep relationships have greater

interest in hearing constructive negative feedback from

their friends, we next test whether those in deep relation-

ships increase the amount of negative feedback they give to

a colleague.

Study 2: Giving feedback to a team member

Study 2a tests whether the amount of negative feedback

people give a team member about his job performance

corresponds directly with the amount of time they have

worked together. Specifically, we predicted that people

who assume they know a team member for a long (vs.

short) time would deliver more negative feedback to this

person on his presentation. This study utilized two condi-

tions: In one condition, participants assumed they were

1 Sample size in Study 1 and later studies was determined based on

studies on research measuring seeking responsiveness to feedback

(e.g., Finkelstein and Fishbach 2012). We report all data exclusions

and all conditions in our studies. Following Zhou and Fishbach

(2016), we tested for attrition. 6 participants dropped the survey after

being assigned to condition. This number was 4 from the deep

condition and 2 from the shallow condition.

72 Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83

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team ‘‘veterans’’ and the presenter was either old (deep-

relationship condition) or new (shallow-relationship con-

dition) to the team. In the other condition, participants

assumed they themselves were either old (deep-relationship

condition) or new (shallow-relationship condition) to the

team that included the presenter. Together, these scenarios

manipulate relationship depth, controlling for who has

joined the team recently versus a long time ago: the

feedback recipient (the presenter) or the provider (the

participant).

We predicted that participants would provide more

negative feedback when they perceived their relationship

as deep versus shallow. We further predicted that the

increase in negative feedback would reflect participants’

desire to motivate their team member; therefore, whereas

the feedback would vary with relationship depth, the actual

quality of the presentation would be evaluated similarly

across these conditions. In Study 2b, we further tested

whether those in deep relationships intend to signal the

need to invest more effort than those in shallow

relationships.

Study 2a: Method

Participants

We pre-determined a minimum sample size of 40 partici-

pants per cell for this four-cell design based on prior

research on provision of information in relationships

(Keltner et al. 1998), and collected data from 180 univer-

sity students and staff members who participated in return

for monetary compensation at a research laboratory. We

anticipated some participants would fail to follow instruc-

tions or would be familiar with our experimental stimuli.

We excluded seven participants from the analysis for taking

\3 min to complete the study (these participants had to

skip part of the 3-min video we presented) and one person

who took 37 min to complete the study (average time:

9.26 min), who we assumed took a long break. No par-

ticipants indicated familiarity with our choice of video clip,

which came from a television show. This process left us

with 172 total participants (Mage = 21.90 years; range

18–60; 83 women).

Procedure

This study utilized a 2 (relationship: new versus long-s-

tanding) 9 2 (scenario: participant vs. presenter is new to

the team) between-subjects design.

The experimenter recruited participants for a coworker

evaluation study. Their task was to assume they were part

of a team pitching a new product to a potential client, and

that their job was to evaluate and provide feedback on a

colleague’s practice presentation that was filmed in front of

a mock audience.

In one set of scenarios, participants learned they were

team ‘‘veterans’’ (had been with the team for 2 years), and

their coworker, the presenter, was either new to the team or

a long-standing team member. In the second set of sce-

narios, participants read they were either a new member

(2 weeks) or a long-term member (2 years) and that their

task was to evaluate a coworker who had been with the firm

for 2 years (see ‘‘Appendix’’ for full scenarios).

Next, all participants watched the same 3-min video clip

featuring their team member, who was pitching a product,

‘‘Nova-flo,’’ designed to eliminate the likelihood of one’s

toilet, sink, or bathtub overflowing. After providing a

demonstration of the product, their team member outlined

what his product and the projected market were before

asking whether the clients had any questions. The presen-

tation was designed to be clear but delivered in a monotone

voice that was less than exciting, thus allowing for both

positive and negative evaluations.

Participants then provided their open-ended feedback to

their team member about his (a) strengths and (b) weak-

nesses in delivering the pitch. We counterbalanced the

order of these questions. Finally, participants evaluated the

overall presentation (1 = the quality of the presentation

was very poor, 7 = the quality of the presentation was

excellent) before they were debriefed and dismissed.

Results and discussion

Two independent judges counted the number of positive

and negative pieces of information participants provided in

their feedback. Inter-rater agreement on the number of

positive and negative pieces of information was high,

a = .86. Participants wrote, for example, ‘‘You paused for

too long and said umm too many times’’ (negative feed-

back) or ‘‘You were confident, and your speed of delivering

the pitch was just right’’ (positive feedback).

Table 1 contains information on means and standard

deviations for all conditions. As we predicted, a repeated-

measures ANOVA of feedback on relationship (new versus

long-standing; between-participants) 9 target (participants

vs. coworker is new or not to the team; between participants)

and valence of feedback (number of positive vs. negative

items; within-participants) did not yield a three-way inter-

action, F(1,167) = .01, ns. The analysis did, however, yield

a relationship 9 feedback interaction, F(1, 167) = 4.10,

p = .044, and no main effects. Collapsing across the dif-

ferent scenarios (participant is new vs. coworker is new), we

find that participants provided more negative feedback to a

team member if they assumed they had a long-standing

(M = 2.08, SD = 1.07) versus shallow (M = 1.63,

Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83 73

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SD = 1.44) relationship with him, t(169) = 2.31, p = .022,

d = .35. In comparison, participants provided similar levels

of positive feedback to a team member if they assumed a

long-standing (M = 1.94, SD = .94) versus shallow rela-

tionship (M = 1.95, SD = 1.01), t\ 1 (see Fig. 1).

Congruent with our prediction, although participants

gave more negative feedback to the presenter with whom

they had a deeper relationship, their overall (collapsed

across ‘‘participant is new’’ and ‘‘coworker is new’’ sce-

narios) evaluation of the quality of their team member’s

presentation was similar (Mdeep = 5.11, SD = 1.24) to

those participants who evaluated a team member with

whom they had a new relationship (Mnew = 5.17,

SD = 1.31), t\ 1. Thus, relationship depth did not influ-

ence the perceived quality of the presentation. Nonetheless,

those in deeper relationships provided more negative

feedback to their team member, presumably to instill

motivation in closer colleagues. In Study 2b, we tested this

assumption—that in deeper relationships, negative feed-

back is meant to signal insufficient effort investment and to

boost motivation to perform.

Study 2b: The signal in feedback

Study 2b tested whether people give more negative feedback

to long-standing than to new team members because they

expect the negative feedback to mean lack of progress and

motivate only in the context of long-standing relationships.

Participants

We predetermined sample size as in Study 2a and collected

data from 126 participants at a research laboratory in return

for monetary compensation. We excluded 10 participants

from the analysis for taking less than 3 min to complete the

study (these participants had to skip part of the 3-min video

we presented) and five participants who correctly identified

what show the video clip was from (thus invalidating our

cover story). This process left us with 111 total participants

(Mage = 19.67 years; range 18–26; 50 women).

Procedure

This study employed a 2 (relationship: new vs. long-stand-

ing) 9 2 (motive for giving feedback: asked about invest-

ment [progress] or commitment) between-subjects design.

Participants completed the same coworker evaluation task as

in Study 2a, with a few minor adjustments. Because we

observed no impact ofwho gains depth with the team in Study

2a, we focused on one set of scenarios: participants read their

coworker was a new or a long-standing team member. As in

Study 2a, participants read they were part of a team pitching a

product to a new client and their job was to evaluate and

provide feedback on a practice presentation taped in front of a

mock audience. To ensure a particular video clip did not drive

our effect, participants evaluated a different video than in

Study 2a, though it was similar in length. The pitch was for an

energy efficient product designed to eliminate inefficient

electricity usage. The presenter had a few noticeable slipups

in his speech, leaving room for participants to provide more

negative feedback than in Study 2a.

Before providing their feedback on their team member’s

strengths and weaknesses, participants were randomly

Table 1 Means and standard deviations (in parentheses) of feedback provided (Study 2a)

Shallow relationship

(presenter new to the team)

Deep relationship (presenter a long-

standing team member)

Number of pieces of negative information provided 1.57 (1.46) 2.02 (1.07)

Number of pieces of positive information provided 1.96 (1.04) 1.92 (0.96)

Shallow relationship

(participant new to the team)

Deep relationship (participant a long-

standing team member)

Number of pieces of negative information provided 1.67 (1.45) 2.11 (1.09)

Number of pieces of positive information provided 1.94 (1.01) 1.94 (0.93)

1

1.2

1.4

1.6

1.8

2

2.2

Posi�ve Feedback Nega�ve Feedback

Piec

es o

f Inf

orm

a�on

Giv

en

Shallow Rela�onship

Deep Rela�onship

Fig. 1 Positive and negative feedback to a team member as a

function of relationship depth (Study 2)

74 Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83

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assigned to rate their agreement with one of the following

statements (adopted from Finkelstein and Fishbach 2012;

Fishbach and Dhar 2005): (a) ‘‘I give feedback to signal to

my coworker he has a lot of work he needs to accomplish

before the actual presentation’’ (i.e., the feedback signals a

need for goal investment) or (b) ‘‘I give feedback to my

coworker to increase his confidence in his presentation’’

(i.e., the feedback secures the recipient’s goal commitment;

1 = strongly disagree with the statement, 7 = strongly

agree with the statement). Only after rating the purpose of

their feedback did participants across all conditions list

their feedback on both strengths and weaknesses (coun-

terbalanced order), similar to Study 2a.

Results and discussion

Wefirst test our hypothesis that thosewho perceive they have

a deep (vs. shallow) relationshipwith their teammemberwill

be more likely to agree that their feedback meant to signal

lack of investment (we did not predict any effect on the

intention to secure commitment via feedback as a function of

relationship length). An ANOVA of relationship (new vs.

long-standing) 9 motive (feedback signals investment vs.

commitment) revealed a relationship 9 feedback interac-

tion, F(1, 108) = 6.74, p = .019, and no main effects,

Fs\ 1, ps[ .10.With regard to investment, we find support

for our hypothesis: participants in long-standing relation-

ships were more likely to indicate their feedback signals low

effort investment (M = 4.81, SD = 1.08) than those in new

relationships (M = 4.12, SD = 1.29), t(55) = 2.16,

p = .034, d = .58. By contrast, participants’ intention to

instill commitment was similar in the long-standing-

(M = 4.34, SD = 1.03) and new (M = 4.67, SD = 1.08)

relationship condition, t(52) = 1.15, p = .15, d = .31.

The rest of the analysis replicated the results of Study

2a, albeit with an evaluation of a different presentation.

Two independent judges analyzed the feedback for the

amount of positive and negative pieces of information

participants gave the team member (a = .81). The repe-

ated-measures ANOVA on this measure revealed a main

effect for feedback, F(1, 108) = 49.53, p\ .001, indicat-

ing participants provided more negative than positive

feedback to their team member (this result was likely a

feature of the specific presentation, because we did not

observe this effect in Study 2a), as well as a feedback 9

relationship interaction, F(1, 108) = 4.71, p = .032. Par-

ticipants provided more negative feedback to a long-s-

tanding team member (M = 4.00, SD = 1.98) than to a

new team member (M = 3.31, SD = 1.77), t(109) = 1.91,

p = .059, d = .35. However, participants were not more

likely to provide positive feedback to a long-standing team

member (M = 2.21, SD = 1.13) than a new one

(M = 2.37, SD = 1.20) than, t(105)\ 1.

We further predict and find that participants’ initial

intention to communicate the need for effort investment is

associated with the valence of the feedback they later gave.

Specifically, we subtracted the number of negative pieces

of information from the number of positive pieces of

information participants provided (positivity index), and

found participants’ desire to motivate effort investment

negatively predicted the positivity index, r(54) = -.29,

p = .034, such that a desire to motivate effort investment

was associated with more negative feedback. By contrast,

participants’ desire to instill commitment did not predict

the positivity index and, if anything, the relationship is the

opposite direction (directionally negative), r(53) = -.20,

p = .15, suggesting a desire to instill commitment was not

associated with positive feedback.

Taken together, the findings from Study 2 demonstrate

that feedback givers wish to motivate effort investment

among colleagues they assume they have known for a long

while; therefore, they increase their negative feedback.

Feedback givers thus appear to strategically tailor their

feedback to the amount of time they have presumably

known the recipient. However, we note that givers’ per-

ception of the relationship as deep or shallow is influenced

by contextual cues and can lead to feedback that does not

always match the perceived depth of the relationship for

the receiver. Studies 1–2 documented an increase in

seeking and giving negative feedback with relationship

depth. We next explore responding to feedback and whe-

ther negative feedback is more motivating in the context of

deeper relationships.

Study 3: Responding to feedback with relationshipinvestment

Study 3 measured planned effort investment in a relation-

ship. Participants connected to a friend on a social network

(Facebook) and asked for either positive or negative

feedback on pursuit of the relationship goal. Upon receipt

of the feedback, we documented participants’ plans to

connect with their friend. We predicted that upon receiving

negative feedback, long-standing friends would be more

likely than more recent friends to form plans to connect.

We did not have a similar prediction for the response to

positive feedback.

Method

Participants

We predetermined a minimum sample size of 30 partici-

pants per cell for this four-cell design, based on prior

Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83 75

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research exploring responsiveness to feedback (Finkelstein

and Fishbach 2012), and collected data from 141 university

students, who participated in return for monetary com-

pensation at a research laboratory. We excluded four par-

ticipants for not asking their friend for the appropriate

(assigned) feedback, thus leaving us with 137 participants

(Mage = 19.77 years; range 18–26; 68 women).

Procedure

The study employed a 2 (relationship depth: shallow vs.

deep) 9 2 (feedback: positive vs. negative) between-sub-

jects design. Participants completed a study on how people

communicate with each other online. They logged on to

Facebook and, depending on the condition, identified a

person with whom they were either in a shallow or deep

relationship and who was available to chat with them online.

They then notified their partner that his or her responses

would be part of a research study, and asked for his or her

consent. Specifically, we asked those in the shallow-rela-

tionship condition to identify someone ‘‘that you may have

just met and have a shallow relationship with…. A new

friend… someone you met this quarter at school and whom

you may see often when you work on problem sets for

classes with, or a friend you met recently at the gym.’’ By

contrast, participants in the deep-relationship condition

identified someone ‘‘that you have known for a long time….

who you communicate with often.’’ No participant had dif-

ficulty finding a friend with whom to chat.

Next, to solicit feedback, we assigned participants to

message their friend either ‘‘What is one thing you like

about me? Describe a time I did something for you that you

really appreciated. How did you feel?’’ (positive feedback

condition) or ‘‘What is one thing I can improve on?

Describe a time I made a mistake and did something you

were not pleased with. How did you feel?’’ (negative

feedback condition). Friends responded by, for example,

writing that they appreciated their friend bringing them

lunch during a long work day (positive feedback) or that

the participant could do a better job talking about his or her

feelings with the friend (negative feedback).

After participants received the feedback they solicited,

they learned they were free to chat with their friend about

anything. Our dependent variable was whether participants

made explicit plans to spend time with their friend by

arranging a set time to talk to their friend or to ‘‘hang out’’

in person or virtually with their friend. For instance, par-

ticipants made plans to call each other or chat online at a

future date. We did not plan to code for plans initiated by

participants’ conversation partners, although notably, no

conversation partners initiated plans to connect with their

friends. Once participants ended their conversations, they

were debriefed and dismissed.

Results and discussion

To assess the impact of relationship depth, feedback, and the

interaction of these variables on making plans to connect

with one’s friend, we conducted a binary logistic regression

(1 = participant made specific plans to see their friend,

0 = participant did not make specific plans). The regression

revealed a marginal main effect of relationship depth,

b = 2.32, Wald v2 (1) = 3.45, p = .063, d = .32, indicat-

ing that those in deep relationships were more likely to make

plans with their friend than those in shallow relationships.

We found no main effect of feedback valence. The regres-

sion also yielded a relationship depth 9 feedback interac-

tion, b = 1.48, Wald v2 (1) = 3.73, p = .054, d = .34.

In support of the hypothesis, contrast analysis revealed

that among participants assigned to ask for negative feed-

back, those in deep relationships were more likely to make

plans with their friends (50 %) compared to those in

shallow relationships (18 %), v2 (1) = 6.94, p = .008,

d = .46. Among those assigned to ask for positive feed-

back, we found no difference in the formation of plans as a

function of relationship depth (33 % made plans in shallow

relationships, 32 % made plans in deep relationships),

v2\ 1, p = .93, d = .05 (see Fig. 2).

We find that relationship depth increases investment in a

relationship goal in response to negative (but not positive)

feedback. One potential limitation is that those in deep

relationships who asked for negative feedback were pos-

sibly more likely to make plans with their relationship

partner to show that they were not wounded by the feed-

back they received, and to reassure their partner the rela-

tionship was still in good standing. Although we cannot

rule out this alternative, those in shallow relationship who

received negative feedback likely had a similar repair

motivation, yet they did not seek to meet. Another limi-

tation is that this study utilized individual differences in

33%

18%

32%

50%

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

Posi�ve Feedback Nega�ve Feedback

% W

ho M

ade

Plan

s with

The

ir Fr

iend

Shallow Rela�onship Deep Rela�onship

Fig. 2 Proportion of participants who chose to make concrete plans

to meet their friends (i.e., relationship investment) as a function of

relationship depth and the feedback they initially solicited (Study 3)

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relationship depth; thus, relationship depth was likely

associated with the knowledge of the friends from whom

the participants were soliciting feedback and, possibly, the

content of feedback from deep versus shallow friends. In

our final study, we accordingly hold the content of feed-

back constant and further manipulated relationship depth.

Study 4: The meaning of feedbackfor the responder

We predict those in deep (vs. shallow) relationships are

more motivated to connect with their friends in response to

negative feedback, because such feedback signals insuffi-

cient relationship investment. In Study 4, we accordingly

examine the impact of relationship depth on (a) the

meaning of negative feedback and (b) the motivation to

invest in a relationship following negative feedback. As

points of comparison, we also measured the meaning of

positive feedback.

Specifically, Study 4 used generic (experimenter-gen-

erated) positive versus negative relationship feedback and

asked participants to consider their evaluation and response

to feedback as a function of whether it came from a deep

versus shallow friend (relationship depth was manipulated

as in Study 1). Using this procedure, we controlled for the

content of feedback. As our dependent variables, we

measured participants’ (1) inferences of the feedback—

whether it was meant to signal a need for effort investment

(e.g., responsiveness, Reis et al. 2004) or whether it was

meant to signal commitment to the relationship, and (2)

motivation to invest in the relationship.

Method

Participants

As in Study 1, we pre-determined a sample size of at least

50 participants per condition and collected responses from

581 MTurk workers who started the study, anticipating

some data loss. We decided before data analysis to exclude

35 participants who failed the attention checks (adopted

from Study 1), 17 participants who chose inappropriate

targets given our focus on interdependence relationships

(e.g., a spouse, a mother, or a best friend), and 39 partic-

ipants who did not complete the writing task (providing

nonsensical or no responses), leaving us with 489 eligible

participants (Mage = 30.98 years; range 18–78; 251

women).2

Procedure

The study employed a 2 (relationship-depth: shallow vs.

deep) 9 2 (feedback: positive vs. negative) 9 2 (infer-

ence: asked about investment or commitment) between-

subjects design. Participants completed the relationship

depth manipulation from Study 1 (i.e., listing similarities

vs. dissimilarities and things that would make them closer

to vs. far from a target acquaintance as chosen in Study 1).

Next, participants in the negative (positive) feedback

condition read that, ‘‘Suppose [Acquaintance’s Initials]

tells you that you recently have not (have) been on time for

meet-ups, you recently have not (have) been a good listener

when he/she talks to you, and you recently have not (have)

been staying in good touch with him/her.’’ Participants’

task was to rate what they thought their acquaintance’s

motive for providing them with this feedback would be.

Those assigned to consider progress rated the extent to

which their acquaintance (a) ‘‘would give me this feedback

to make me do a better job in our relationship’’ and

(b) ‘‘would give me this feedback to make me invest more

time in our relationship.’’ Higher ratings on these items

reflect insufficient effort investment. Participants assigned

to consider commitment rated the extent to which their

acquaintance (a) ‘‘would give me this feedback to instill

confidence in our relationship’’ and (b) ‘‘would give me

this feedback to make me care about our relationship’’ (for

all statements, 1 = strongly disagree, 7 = strongly agree).

The wording for these measures was taken from Finkelstein

and Fishbach (2012) and Fishbach and Dhar (2005), with

minor adaptions to fit the relationship context.

Next, to measure motivation to invest in the relationship,

participants indicated their desire to contact their acquain-

tance after receiving such feedback (1 = I do not plan to

contact [Acquaintance’s Initials] soon, 7 = I plan to contact

[Acquaintance’s Initials] soon). Finally, participants com-

pleted manipulation checks whereby they rated the feedback

they considered (1 = very negative, 7 = very positive) and

how close they felt to their acquaintance while completing

the study (1 = not close at all, 7 = very close).

Results and discussion

In support of the manipulation, participants who considered

instances of negative feedback rated the feedback as less

positive (M = 3.94, SD = 1.37) than those who considered

instances of positive feedback (M = 5.27, SD = 1.13),

2 Following Zhou and Fishbach (2016), we tested for attrition. 30

participants dropped the survey before being assigned to a depth

Footnote 2 continued

condition. An additional 25 dropped out after being assigned to a

condition and before completing the survey: 6 from negative-deep, 8

from positive-deep, 4 from negative-shallow, and 7 from positive-

shallow.

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t(474) = 11.57, p\ .001, d = 1.06. In further support of

the manipulation, those assigned to the deep-relationship

condition indicated feeling closer to their acquaintance

(M = 3.75, SD = 1.37) than those in the shallow-rela-

tionship condition (M = 3.48, SD = 1.42), t(474) = 2.12,

p = .034, d = .19.

We summarize the key results in Fig. 3. We first col-

lapsed the two questions on investment inferences

(a = .76). In support of the hypothesis, we find that among

participants who received negative feedback, those in deep

relationships (M = 5.22, SD = 1.25) were more likely than

those in shallow relationships (M = 4.57, SD = 1.43) to

infer their friend provided feedback to signal insufficient

effort investment, t(120) = 2.64, p = .009, d = .48. We do

not find a similar pattern for participants assigned to receive

positive feedback (Mdeep = 4.54, SD = 1.21; MShal-

low = 4.43, SD = 1.51), t\ 1. These results support our

hypothesis that those in deep (vs. shallow) relationships are

more likely to infer their friend provided negative feedback

to signal insufficient investment in the relationship.

We also collapsed the two questions on commitment

inferences (a = .62). As predicted, we found no impact of

depth on inferences of commitment (Mdeep = 4.78,

SD = 1.29; MShallow = 4.58, SD = 1.32), t = 1.23. Con-

sistent with our theorizing and previous research (e.g.,

Fishbach et al. 2014), we find that participants who

received positive feedback were more likely than those

who received negative feedback (M = 4.30, SD = 1.32) to

infer it was meant to boost their commitment to the rela-

tionship, t(244) = 4.84, p\ .001, d = .63. After all, pos-

itive feedback supports inference of expectancy and

value—the building blocks of commitment (Fishbein and

Ajzen 1974).

Mediation analysis

We next explored whether inferences of insufficient

investment upon receipt of negative feedback mediates the

impact of relationship depth on increasing investment

motivation. We first conducted mediation analysis using

Hayes’s (2013) PROCESS model 4 on participants

assigned to receive negative feedback to test whether

inferences that their acquaintance would provide them with

negative feedback to signal insufficient progress mediated

the relationship between the relationship-depth condition

(0 = shallow relationship, 1 = deep relationship) and

motivation to invest in the relationship. We find that rela-

tionship depth increased the tendency to infer insufficient

investment in the relationship from negative feedback

(b = .64, SE = .24), t(120) = 2.64, p = .009; and the

tendency to make low-investment inferences predicted

motivation to invest in the relationship (b = .37,

SE = .10), t(120) = 3.89, p\ .001. A bootstrapping

analysis with 5000 estimates (Preacher and Hayes 2004)

indicated that the indirect effect of those in deep relation-

ships being more motivated to invest in the relationship

was fully mediated by inferences that the friend would

provide them with negative feedback to signal insufficient

investment in the relationship (boot = .24, SE = .12, 95 %

CI .06 to .57). Importantly, we did not observe mediation

for participants assigned to receive positive feedback,

because the 95 % CI contained zero (boot = .05,

SE = .12, 95 % CI -.18 to .31). In addition, inferences of

commitment did not mediate the impact of relationship

depth on motivation to invest in the relationship (for par-

ticipants assigned to receive positive feedback: boot = .00,

SE = .13, 95 % C: -.24 to .26, or for participants assigned

4

4.5

5

5.5

6

Posi�ve Feedback Feedback

Nega�ve

Infe

renc

es o

f Ins

uffici

ent I

nves

tmen

t

4

4.5

5

5.5

6

Posi�ve Feedback

Nega�ve Feedback

Infe

renc

es o

f Com

mitm

ent

Shallow Rela�onship

Deep Rela�onship

Fig. 3 Inferences of

insufficient effort investment

(lack of progress) and

commitment as a function of

feedback and relationship depth

(Study 4)

78 Motiv Emot (2017) 41:69–83

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to receive negative feedback: boot = .21, SE = .20, 95 %

CI -.17, .64).

Study 4’s findings extend the results of Study 3 to cases

in which the content of the feedback is fixed. Negative

feedback increased the motivation to pursue the relation-

ship goal more so in deep than in shallow relationships,

because those in deep relationships were more likely to

infer insufficient pursuit of the relationship goal from such

negative feedback.

General discussion

People often criticize and praise each other on their goal

performance. Such feedback is instrumental for self-regu-

lation and further increases the instrumentality of the

feedback giver (Fitzsimons and Finkel 2010; Rusbult et al.

2009; Vohs and Finkel 2006). We find that the depth of the

relationship between the feedback giver and seeker influ-

ences the valence of the feedback people seek and give and

how they respond to feedback. Specifically, because neg-

ative feedback signals insufficient effort investment for

those in deep relationships more than for those in shallow-

relationships, those in deeper relationships exchange more

negative feedback than those in shallow relationships. We

documented the increase in negative feedback across three

modalities: people seek more negative feedback (Study 1),

give more negative feedback (Study 2), and respond more

to negative feedback by investing resources in pursuing

their goals (Studies 3-4). We further explored the impact of

feedback on interpersonal and relationship goals (Studies 1,

3, and 4) as well on intrapersonal goals (Studies 1 and 2),

demonstrating relationship depth influences the meaning of

feedback and motivation.

Studies 1, 2, and 4 further utilized situational variables

to influence the perception of relationships as deep versus

shallow. They demonstrate the malleability of the percep-

tion of relationship depth. One implication of these context

effects is that two people in a relationship often have dif-

ferent perceptions of how close they are. If one person sees

the friendship as shallow, whereas her friend sees it as

deep, because these two make different comparisons, the

latter will express more negative feedback than what the

former will care to receive, and the potential exists for

ineffective feedback exchange and motivational deficits.

We suspect that mismatches in perceptions of relationship

depth are common because the cues people use to evaluate

their relationships are both private and unstable.

Even when people share a similar perception of rela-

tionship depth, they may overestimate the extent to which

the recipient desires negative feedback and how negative

that person expects the feedback to be. Although rela-

tionship depth increases interest in negative feedback, our

research consistently finds that interest in positive feedback

provides reassurance that goal commitment will not

decrease. The increase in negative feedback as the rela-

tionship deepens may have undesirable consequences when

close friends snub each other and experience their rela-

tionship more negatively. As initial support for these pos-

sible downstream negative consequences of the increase in

negative feedback, we have recently found that individuals

in a deep relationship report that they argue more often

than those in shallow relationship (on 7-point scale:

Mdeep = 2.36, SD = 1.96 vs. Mshallow = 1.61, SD = 1.24;

t(81) = 2.12, p = .038, d = .45). Although close friends

reported their relationship was no less interesting than

shallow friends, they did not like the increase in arguments,

which we attribute to an increase in criticism from the

exchange of negative feedback.

Our research is not without limitations. Indeed, our

operationalization of feedback as constructive (either pos-

itive or negative) might not capture some feedback that

friends and colleagues exchange in the real world. For

instance, negative feedback might be destructive and pos-

itive feedback might be insincere. In terms of the scope of

our investigation, we expect to find the increase in the

share of negative feedback only as long as people’s moti-

vation is to improve and the negative feedback appears to

be constructive. If, for example, people’s motivation is to

flatter another person or receive flattery, or if the negative

feedback is aggressive, teasing or otherwise non-con-

structive, we would not expect an increase in negative

feedback as the relationship deepens.

Another limitation refers to our focus on feedback that is

either positive or negative; hence, we do not offer con-

clusions regarding the effectiveness of a combination

approach (e.g., the intuitively appealing sandwich method

of ‘‘positive–negative–positive’’). Although we did not

study mixed feedback, we note that our results on the

frequency and effectiveness of negative feedback do not

suggest that negative feedback should replace—rather than

be added to—positive feedback. Indeed, we generally find

that relationship depth does not influence the effectiveness

and frequency of positive feedback and that positive

feedback, in itself, can serve to boost goal commitment.

Thus, it is quite likely that the increase in negative feed-

back as the relationship deepens should be added to a

constant level of positive feedback.

Alternative explanations

Congruent with research on the dynamics of self-regulation

(Fishbach et al. 2014; Fishbach and Finkelstein 2012), we

attribute our effects to the different meaning feedback

carries for self-regulation as relationships deepen. We

demonstrated that negative feedback signals lack of

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investment in the relationship goal (i.e., low progress) for

those in deep relationships more than for those in shallow

relationships. Other research, in contrast, explores vari-

ables that increase tolerance for negative feedback (i.e.,

‘‘buffering factors,’’ Linville 1987; Showers and Kling

1996; Trope and Neter 1994), and relationship depth may

thus serve as a buffer. According to a buffering model,

individuals who are more secure in their level of goal

commitment are less concerned with the potential detri-

mental impact of exchanging negative feedback on goal

commitment (see also relationships as accumulated emo-

tional capital, Feeney and Lemay 2012). That is, the

underlying cause of our effect might be a decreased con-

cern for reassuring commitment rather than an increased

desire to motivate investment. Put differently, individuals

in committed relationships might be better able to tolerate

rather than actively solicit negative feedback.

We note that although a buffering account predicts that

relationship depth increases acceptance or tolerance of

negative feedback, we predict and find that relationship

depth further increases the preference for negative feed-

back over positive feedback. Specifically, Study 3 finds

that feedback recipients who see their relationship as deep

are more motivated to pursue the relationship goal in

response to negative than to positive feedback. In addition,

in Study 4, participants in deep relationship were more

likely to infer insufficient investment from negative feed-

back than from positive feedback, which is not a prediction

the buffering hypothesis makes.

Another version of the buffering hypothesis could argue

that participants in the deep-relationship conditions expe-

rienced more positive emotion, which buffered the negative

feedback. This alternative would also argue that relation-

ship depth increases tolerance of but not preference for

negative feedback. Moreover, we find that relationship

depth influences inferences of investment (progress) but

not inferences of commitment in Study 4, whereas positive

mood, if anything, should increase both types of inference.

A second alternative suggests that because those in deep

relationships trust their partner more, they are more likely

to interpret negative feedback in a charitable light (i.e.,

negative feedback seems less negative for those in deep

versus shallow relationships; see, e.g., work on cognitive

reappraisals; Richards et al. 2003). Whereas this interpre-

tation is consistent with our findings on feedback seeking,

we find that those in deep (vs. shallow) relationships

respond more to a given, constant negative feedback, with

less room for interpretation. In addition, we show those in

deep relationships infer something different (i.e., low

investment) from negative feedback than those in shallow

relationships; that is, those in deeper relationships do not

perceive negative feedback as lighter but as implying a

lack of investment.

Implications

This research has several implications for theories of self-

regulation and interpersonal relationships. First, to the extent

that people associate relationship depth with negative feed-

back, even if unconsciously, they might exchange negative

feedback to communicate close relationships. Thoughwe find

that close relationships allow for negative feedback, the

reverse may also be true: people give each other negative

feedback because they wish to communicate deep relation-

ship and believe such feedback increases depth in the rela-

tionships. For example, research by Keltner et al. (1998) finds

that teasing communicates that individuals are close enough

to tease. However, such a strategy can backfire if negative

feedback is too aggressive for those in shallow relationships.

Second, this research has potential implications for

relationships that are characterized by intimacy (Cavallo

et al. 2009; Gagne and Lydon 2004). We conceptualize

relationship depth as interdependence that arises from

repeated ongoing interactions between two people (Reis

et al. 2004). However, relationship depth could also mean

greater intimacy, which involves a partnership based on

communal responsiveness and trust (e.g., as in familial and

romantic relationships; Reis and Shaver 1988). An inter-

esting question for future research is whether our findings

are also applicable to relationships that vary by intimacy

rather than (or in addition to) interdependence.

Finally, although our key variable is relationship depth,

other factors may influence the meaning of negative feed-

back and, as a result, the share of negative feedback people

exchange. For example, in hierarchical relationships (e.g.,

between an employer and an employee or a teacher and a

student), differences in power may influence the meaning

of feedback. We would predict that feedback from a person

lower in the hierarchy will be less threatening and thus

more likely to signal insufficient resource investment

compared with feedback from a person higher in the

hierarchy. It further follows that for negative feedback to

be both constructive and useful for self-regulation, having

someone with less power express it may be more beneficial

than having someone with more power express it.

Funding This study was partially funded from the Templeton

Foundation (New Paths to Purpose Grant).

Compliance with ethical standards

Conflict of interest The authors declare that they have no competing

interests.

Ethical approval All procedures performed in studies involving

human participants were in accordance with the ethical standards of

the institutional and/or national research committee and with the 1964

Helsinki declaration and its later amendments or comparable ethical

standards.

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Informed consent Informed consent was obtained from all individ-

ual participants included in the study.

Appendix: Manipulations of relationship depth—Study 2

Coworker (feedback recipient) gains depth scenario

‘‘Welcome to the coworker evaluation study. In this study,

we’d like you to imagine that you have been working at

your firm for 2 years and that you are part of a team that is

pitching a new product to a potential client. A coworker of

yours [who is a new member of the team and has been

around for 2 weeks/is an experienced member of the team

and has been around for 2 years] has been asked to deliver

a part of the pitch to the new client. Before your team gives

a presentation like this, your team tapes a practice talk in

front of a mock audience in an environment similar to the

one the actual pitch will be given in. The mock audience

members are encouraged to ask clarification questions if

necessary but to leave other questions for after the first part

of the pitch is completed.

‘‘Your job is to evaluate the practice presentation and

give feedback to your coworker. Keeping in mind that

[your coworker is a new member of the team and has been

around for 2 weeks/your coworker is an experienced

member of the team and has been around for 2 years],

we’d like for you to evaluate your co-worker and list your

coworker’s strengths and weaknesses in the pitch.’’

Participant (feedback provider) gains depth

scenario

‘‘Welcome to the coworker evaluation study. In this study,

we’d like you to imagine that you are part of a team that is

pitching a new product to a potential client. [You are a new

member of the team and have only been working with your

team for two weeks/You are an experienced member of the

team and have been working with your team for 2 years].

Your coworker, a team member of yours who has been

with the team for 2 years, has been asked to deliver a part

of the pitch to the new client. Before your team gives a

presentation like this, your team tapes a practice talk in

front of a mock audience in an environment similar to the

one the actual pitch will be given in. The mock audience

members are encouraged to ask clarification questions if

necessary but to leave other questions for after the first part

of the pitch is completed.

‘‘Your job is to evaluate the practice presentation and

give feedback to your coworker. Keeping in mind that [you

are a new member of the team and have been around for

2 weeks/you are an experienced member of the team and

have been around for 2 years], we’d like for you to eval-

uate your co-worker and list your coworker’s strengths and

weaknesses in the pitch.’’

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