winkle_adolescent spirituality_les parrott iii_pp. 32-40 [nov2697]

7/27/2019 Winkle_Adolescent Spirituality_Les Parrott III_pp. 32-40 [Nov2697]

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Tr,P,l t dliy r/ ,,]e tn

AdolescentspW*MWe Expect?How much commitmentare teenagerc capable of,onyusay? Do we subtleoen unconsciouslyexact a degree ofdeuotion that is wayaboue or below theability of most teenage$to crank up?Les Parrott tlt


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f l ldon't know if all this makes any difference."lThe sentence fell out of Ron's mouth as heZslid intc the restaurant booth to join me forlunch."What are you talking about?"'Being a youth pastor," he muttered. "Does itreally rnake a difference? I mean, I put on all theseactivities, I have creative Bible studies-but I don'tthink my kids get it:"This willbe a light-hearted lunch, I thought.Ron pushed the menu aside and kept talkingabout the puzzle of adolescent spirituality. Ischurch just another social event for them? Do theyunderstand the transforming grace of God? Canthe-v practice any spiritual discipline? He ponderedone question after another. When he finallystopped long enough to take a bite of his club sand-wich, I threw in my two cents'worth."What can you expect? They're kids."'Exactly," Ron fired back. "Whalcanyou expect?I mean, I'm not thinking they should be Billy Gra-ham or Mother Teresa-but really, what kind ofspirituality can you expect from teenagers?"That lunch was six year ago, but I've been tryingto answer Ron's question ever since. After readingdozens of books, talking with hundreds of kids, andcommiserating with many a youth minister aboutadolescent spirituality, I've come to a few conclu-slons.

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this stage view religious stories and music in literal,concrete ways. They perceive God in human formsomewhere in the sky. They accept their religiousheritage, no questions asked.Next is synthetic


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T{ESULTS

differentJifferent from a childbspirituality, different from anadult's spirituality. Which means,first and foremost, that we must

Here are four common errors I've seen adultscommit as they try to spur adolescents on to a moremature faith.o Motiuoting by guilt. No other age group carriesaround morE feelings of guilt than teenagers. Theyare plagued with unrealistic selfexpectations and arelentless conscience. So why do we use guilt tomotir,-ate il-iiQ af yeadv self-punishing? Because itworkS. Ciiilt'lets results-but only for the shorl run.Cuilt fails to instill life-long qualities-a healthy

put ourselves in teenagerc' shoes.

mtryk SMALL, reads a sign on the classroom deskol a kiridergaften teacher I know. Sure, we all knowthat adolescent faith development is different. Yetwe musl continually "think teen" and understandthat"everv adolescent is in a singular phase of faithdevelopment.Such empathy will keep you from common mis.rakes about cultivating spiritual formation. "Thegreatest sin is to do all the right things for all thewrong reasons,' wrote T. S. Eliot in Murder in theCothedrol.lt's just as sinful, I think, to do all thewrong things for all the right reasons. A young per-son's budding faith can be easily damaged by aminister's good intentions.he upshot of Fowler'soy-qrview is simply thatadolescent spirituality is

sense of giving, for example. It instead creates adesire to clear one's conscience and please thosewho are watching. And more than any other emotion, guilt sabotages a sincere minister's efforts tobuild an adolescent's faith for the long run.. Equoting spirituality utith youth group actiuity. lt'san easy trap to get caught in' There are sirnply toomany activities these days that demand a youngperson's time. lt's simply inaccurate to gauge kids'spiritual maturity by how dedicated they are to ourprogramming.. Setting our expectotions for teenagers too high. Acommon reason people expect much of a personemerges from their own high self-expectations.Obviously, adolescents cannot be held to the samelevel of expectancy as adults. Newborn babiescrave milk "to grow up in their salvation," writes theapostle (1 Pet. 2:2). Placing unrealistic expectationson adolescents about their spiritual developmentensures failure and compounds guilt."lf you expect perfection from people, yourwhole life is a series of disappointments, grum-blings, and complaints," wrote Bruce Barton, a busi-nessrnan, politician, and author early in this century."lf, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low,taking folks as the inefficient creatures which theyare, ybu are frequently surprised by having themperform better than you had hoped."-o SettinT too-low expectations for teenagers. Thergis certahly wisdom in Barton's realism-but don'tfollow it exclusively. Setting expectations of adole;cent spirituality too low can be as detrimental asstting them too high. When youth workers loosentoo many expectations about what a young personis capable of, they communicate an unhealthy me*sage. Adolescents aspire to lofty goals; and by hold-ing lackluster expectations of them, we imply thatthey aren't capable of reaching higher ones.

So you successfully sidestep these enors in moti-vating kids to deeper faith. Yet the ques.tionremains: what can you realistically expect spiritual-ly from youryouth grouP?- Popular opinion holds that teenagers have scantinterest in religion. Adults from Socrates to WilliamBennett have fretted and fussed over the spiritualstate of the younger generation.Yet it's simply not true that young people havelost therr sense of heritage and religious values. Arecent Callup Youth Survey reports that a majority34 tot.nrwcinx-m / lrpring tlx)5


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of American young people continue to considerreligion important in their lives. About seventeenagers in l0 say they agree with the statementthat they are religious persons, including l9 percentwho agree very strongly. Among the remainingthree in l0 who disagree, only five percent stronglyassert they are not religious.If you tend to expect a lot from your teenagers,lower your sights a bit to these realistic expecta-tions:EIKpct splrltual stafit and stopo.Spiritual development does not progress at a steadydirection toward a pinnacle of maturity. Feelings ofemptiness are a part of human existence, even onthe spiritual journey. A young person may experi-ence an emotional rush during the days, weeks oreven months following a new spiritual commit-ment, but eventually this energy dissipates andquestions arise that may cause doubt. This process

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is natural. lt is endemic to spiritual growth. Sometheologians see doubting as a dynamic ancillary tobelief and not necessarily in opposition to,it. Astrong faith is not the result of avoiding questions,but of working with doubt. lf there are no moun-tains without valleys, can their be faith withoutdoubt or answers without questions?Expect unsettling adjushents to new lnslghb-Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget, the world's mostnoted authority on the development of the intellect,theorized there are two different ways people cometo understand new information


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RESULTS

his or her comfortable limits-when it does not fitwithin their cunent beliefs, and goes beyond theirstructure of thought. Case in point: an adolescent'scompletely new insight about Cod. Radical newways of thinking about spiritual matters can launchan adolescent into an unsettling spiritual phase.Expect the need for healthy models.Teenagers need models of vibrant spiritualitywhom they respect and in whom they have confi-dence. They need to see faith lived out in peers aswell as in adults. Unhealthy models as spiritualauthorities only compound the struggle. lf youngpeople lack a formative community of friends who

share a common faith, they may have a difficulrtime developing a religious commitment. Most soci-ologists believe faith is kept alive by a human aswell as a divine support system. lt's hard to main-tain your belief in a round earth when you're sur-rounded by people who fear falling off its edge.Expect idealistic thinking that leads to criti-cism.Because adolescents are so strongly idealistic, theyeasily suffer disillusion with and disappointment inthe church. Yet no church can adequately fulfillevery ideal of every person. Disappointed youngpeople are bound to be critical of their religiously

So How Do You tleasureSplrltual Growth lnYoslr Students?You are recruited and paid to produce spiritualresutts in your students-or at least that's often theexpectation of the church stafi or congregation. Buthow do iou garJge your effectiveness?We asked some of your pers how they gaugethe level of their spiritual success with their )outhgroups. Here's what they had to sry.

At nrst we measured spiritual results by atten-dance, but now we measure it by what the kidsgive to others. Jey Frdtas, The Hilo (llaa'ai| SetstfhDay Advattist ChurchL-ran't really place my finger on what it is, excepttlnt I can sit dorvn with some teens and talk easilyabout God witput them turning and running. &veJohnsn, Attascrcita hesbytqian Chutdt, Humble, Tet


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committed parents, their youth pastor, and theirchurch. Their own difficulty in coping with tempta-tions further contributes to their disillusionment.They may begin to think that the Christian life isimpossible.Lxpect a faith built mostly on emotions.Adolescents are more emotional than cognitive.They remember feelings more readily than facts.Concerning their church. they know exactly howthey feel about last Sunday's service even when theycannot remember what was said or taught. A youngperson's unpleasant feeling at church is more influ-ential than sermon content when it comes to

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whether he or she is drawn to a religious context.If you tend to not expect much from your hids soinitually, recognize that they are capable of muchmore than you think:

Expect a desire to know right from lwong.The large majority (92 percent) of youths want toleam more about values. Young people intuitivelyunderstand that strong-headed problems like violence, sexual promiscuity, drug use, and teen preg-nancy can become less formidable if explicit valuesare taught and believed. According to William Kil-patrick, author of Wy Johnny Can't Tell Right from

bpiritual resuhs to me is wl'ren my students keepcoming back, want to know more, want to beinvotved in the program. Steve hgdhardt, LutheranCfurch of tl:e Rdeqnq, Birmingtam, Mkrt.I r""rur" where they are spiritually by looking atwhere I am spiritually. I don't think I can expecttlxern to be somewhere I haven't been. QhrE Phillip,Advat Ctv*st*n @,utdt, MqJnnkxrille, VaW"'r" getting resufts $/'len they join the clrurcfr,when they walk down the aisle and commit theirlives to Christ+pecially the kids whose parentsdon't.come to church. Another way to measuresp{ritual grcnadft in rny students is if tfte!/ chango theiropinions o\er time abod a controversi.al issue. Forinstarrce, maybe they thought that pro-chcice wasthe way to go, but after six months they're sayrng,"No, I've changed my view on that." Sfaqy SpetfeHillcrwt Unitd Metltqlist Ch(trd1, lkshville, Tstn.Duy their actions. lt may not be a fast change. ltmay be a slow change with ups and downs, butthere's still change. Dave Curtrss, Church of theNazatane, Kent, Wash.Yo, can't measure spiritual results. Resutts aren'tshort term, they're long term. I didn't realize theimpact my youth pastor had on me until 15 or 16years later. Jimmy Chalmss, Cressef Eaptst Church,Durhan, N.C.

bpiritual succe.ss is student commitment-that'slong-term commitment, not short-term. lt's whenfiey corne to all the sntrs ard hdp and wlunteerto do extra things-like helping in vacation Bibleschool and outreach programs{rot just showingup for youth group. EveW lruing, Trinity PtF,'bytqiaur-Chwd4 Atlc.hoage, Alaskat--Excitement among the kids for getting into theWord is one way I measure our spiritual growth.We've taken th Bible one book at a tme for a fullretreat, and they just love it. They..ryant someone- 'who will wdk them through the Bible-someone'..who willgive them a cfiance to ask qustions andlet them say, 'l don't understand this.


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RESULTS

Wrong, young people seem to understand that ifthey do not leam selfdiscipline and respect for oth-en, they'll continue to exploit each other sexually,no matter how many health clinics and condom-distribution plans are created. The timeless mes-sage of Paul and Timothy echoes in the hearts ofmany young people toda,v, young people who wantto 'flee evil'and "pursue righteousness, faith, loveand peace.' They are looking for courageous mod-els 'who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (2Tim. 2:22).lf young people don't leam respect andjustice from "those who call on the Lord," problemsof adolescent culture will continue to soar.Expect a commitment to Christian community.Teenagers have a powerful psychological need tobelong-a longing that, for adolescents with a

developing faith, can be channeled into thechurch. While all sorts of demands compete forteenagers' time, they respect a call of commitmentto a group. Being held accountable by a group ofcaring peers. in fact, is exactly what many teens arelooking for. A structure that is explicit and evencostly (meaning that other activities may bemissed) only adds to their desire to be part of something that really matters.ln Religious Education Ministry with Youth,Lawrence Richards reports that when he askedteenagers "How do you define church?" nearly alldefined the word with a strong relational dimen-sion-for example, 'a group of people who care foreach other and support each other.' You canexpect teens to commit to Christian community.

being effective. Kids go off to college and maybelose their minds for a little while, but er/entualty, aretheir lives beginning to count for Christ? ls He intheir vocation? lt's not whether they've becomeChristian workers or whatenrer, but \^/hether they'reChristian d@tors, Christian garlcage rnn, Christianrnerchandising managers. Owq FuBhum, First Unit-d Metffils't Ctturdl, Dundin, Ha.B"ing Pentecostal, I think the easiest way tomelsure spiritual growth in my youths is to watchthem respond durirg uprship. How are ty partki-pating? But even that can be a facade. A bettergauge is if they're involved in areas of ministry orseruice. That tells me they're taking what they'releaming and discovering ways to express it some-how-in drama, in discipteship, music, or short-term missions trips. Mark Link Warde, Gospe/Lightlnuse ChLtdl, &llas, Tex,On. of my biggest indicators is how the groupinteracts together and how they treat each otherindividually. Whitney Dempsey, First PresbyterianChurch, Eko, Nev.l, "* be scary to think l'm hired to produce spiritu-al groMh in my yor.rth group. Sometimes I think all Ican do is be obedient. My teens take micro-stepsof growth. Uke ufpn srnokers come into the youth

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grorp-{ hope we're doing things to shol them uecare about them ard are buildirp trust. When I getin front of the youth group and tell them, 'l reallyappreciate the family that is holding this event intheir garage, so let's be sensitive to them. Sincethey have young kids, maybe you gr.rys could justsrnoke ofi the properbf 0^ns n^,r want a cigaretteto come between them and God's love). And thekids respond, 'Hey, dude, no problem, you justneed to tdlus." That's grou/th.But sometimes lthink back on nry past experi-ence and start wishing for a youth group of 50core, derroted kids \/ho want to praise and worshipGod. Rlck Todd, Christ the Kng Church, Bellingham,Wash.L-roming from a counseling background, I'mskeptical of the word measure because I think, ashumans, we're down here hlng to rneasure, tryrrto see. But you never know what goes on inside.SomeOoOV can put on a great act and great worksfor Christ...but inside? I don't think that's ours tosee. A46on Hudson, Orteg Unitd Methodist Churd1Jad


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Expect the practicing of spiritual disciplines.Novelist Walker Percy writes of a search that "any-one would undertake if he were not sunk in theeverydayness of his own life." Just so, the adoles-cent's laborious search for genuine Christian faith isnot a single, emotional, fireside decision at summercamp. A teenager's quest for faith must be bolsteredb_v deliberate actions that nurture faith. Adolescensunderstand the importance of spiritual rlisciplines;to doubt they are ready for disciplined Bible study,genuine prayer, compa.qsienate service, and weeklyworship is a mistake. Teenagers need to be chal-Ienged to hike the mountain called maturity.Expect an emerging other


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about their faith may be different than in an adultfaith-and while they are inclined to live out theprinciples of faith differently-there is no need todoubt that adolescents can make a decision to livea Christcentered life.The question, though. remains: What does theChrist

winkle_adolescent spirituality_les parrott iii_pp. 32-40 [nov2697]

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