Written by Dr. Celia Hayhoe, CFP®, Family Resource Management Specialist, Virginia Tech©2005 National Endowment for Financial Education. All rights reserved.

Funded by:

Chapter 6Effective Communication

is Essential

Protecting Your Retirement & Other Financial Informationfor Family Caregivers: What Every Adult Child Should Know

Effective Communication is Essential

• In most families, discussing financial matters is difficult.• Adding the additional issues that come with caregiving

decisions, makes the discussion even harder.• This chapter gives communication tips for dealing with

difficult topics.• See the companion Web site for more information.

Before You Start

• Turn off the television and the radio• Don’t start the conversation if you are rushed for

time• Start off with positive statements to put everyone

in a good mood• If you have difficulty communicating your

feelings, you may want to write them down• Voicing your own planning concerns may open

the door for discussing the concerns you have with the care receiver’s planning

Tips

• Take Time– You may have been thinking about the

problem for awhile. Give others a chance to think things over.

• Planning Ahead– It is much easier to discuss these issues

if you are not in the middle of a crisis.– This way you can involve all family

members including older children.

Tips

• Practice, practice, practice

–It takes time to change old habits

• Using a third party as illustrated in the video

–When possible choose someone who specializes in elder-care issues

Tips

• Use “I” messages

“I” message not “You” message

I feel that you do not hear what I am saying.

You never listen.

I am upset that I have to perform most of mother’s caregiving because it is causing me problems at work.

You never help with mother’s caregiving, or

You have no idea of the problems I am having.

I am worried about what would happen if you became ill since I live so far away.

You need to make plans in case you get sick.