you cannot know the fears i have as I think about you

i fear that i shall live only at your laughterlie awake long nights while you sleepso loneliness does not trouble younor hunger, nor thirst

overwhelm your waking world with wonderwith the music of other worlds, your earlier home read to you poems written the night beforewhile you smile bewildered

or just when my very breathing begins to depend on youeven as your tiny fingers close around mineSome insensitive thingcrushes your butterfly spirit

shadows of a sun-darkened landflow over youand the eclipsecloses your eyes

i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving youany other waya day without such carehas no meaning

we shall find for you a nameyour name shall bring light

“The poem was written at a time when my wife and I were

contemplating having a child. We subsequently did have a child – in

1982. Her name is Tazkiyah.”Shabbir Banoobhai

Poem was written in the early 1980’s.

Political turmoil in the country.

you cannot know the fears I have

you cannot know the fears i have as I think about you

i fear that i shall live only at your laughter

lie awake long nights while you sleepso loneliness does not trouble younor hunger, nor thirst

overwhelm your waking world with wonderwith the music of other worlds, your earlier home

read to you poems written the night beforewhile you smile bewildered

I fear that I shall…

I fear that I shall…

I fear that I shall…

To fully understand the poem it is necessary often to insert the words “I fear that I shall…” or “I fear that…” or “I fear…”:

or just when my very breathing begins to depend on you

even as your tiny fingers close around mineSome insensitive thingcrushes your butterfly spirit

shadows of a sun-darkened landflow over youand the eclipsecloses your eyes

i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving youany other way a day without such carehas no meaning

we shall find for you a nameyour name shall bring light

I fear that…

I fear that…

I fear that…I fear that…

you cannot know the fears i have as I think about you

i fear that i shall live only at your laughterlie awake long nights while you sleepso loneliness does not trouble younor hunger, nor thirst

That she is never in need of anything –

company, food or drink

…that his life will become totally dependent on the child.

What does the poet realise here?

What is he attempting to

ensure?

Who is this? How do we know?

What does he anticipate will be part of her

life?

overwhelm your waking world with wonderwith the music of other worlds, your earlier home read to you poems written the night beforewhile you smile bewildered

As a poet-father/father-poet he wished to provide

his daughter with a beautiful emotional environment, not an

ordinary mundane one!

What world is

this?What do these words tell us

about the father’s fears?

or just when my very breathing begins to depend on youeven as your tiny fingers close around mineSome insensitive thingcrushes your butterfly spirit

What figure of speech is this?Why do you think it is appropriate?What does it tell us about the nature of birth?

Part of speech?

What does the poet realise here?

What is this?

shadows of a sun-darkened landflow over youand the eclipsecloses your eyes

Bearing in mind what we know about the context of the poem, what could this be?

How does the imagery used in these

three lines “prove” your suspicions

above?What are the

connotations here?

i cannot live with the thought of having you, loving youany other waya day without such carehas no meaning

What conclusion does the poet reach about

parenthood?

we shall find for you a nameyour name shall bring light

Why is finding a name so important? In what way will her name “bring light”?

With which word – used earlier in the poem – does the concept of

“light” contrast?