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Page 1: You Mean I m Not Crazy
Page 2: You Mean I m Not Crazy

You fvleanI'm Not Lazs,sfupid

or Crazy?!A Self-Help Book for Adults

with Attention Oeficit Disorder

KATE KELLYAND

PEGGY RAMUNDO

Foreword by Larry B. Silver, M. D.

A Fireside BookPublished by Simon & Schuster

New York London Toronto sydney Tokyo Singapore

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FIRESIDERockefeller Center

1230 Avenue of the AmericasNew York, NY 10020

Copyright O 1993 by Kate Kelly and P.ggy RamundoAll rights reserved,

including the right of reproductionin whole or in part in any form.

First Fireside Edition 1996

FrRrslor and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.

Designed by Tony Magliano

Manufactured in the United States of America

5 7 9 1 0 8 6

Library of Congress Cataloging'in-Publication DaraKelly, Kate.

You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy?!: a self-help book for adults withattention deficit disorder/Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo.

p' cm.Includes bibliographical references and index'

1. Attention-delicit disorder in adults-Popular works.I. Ramundo, Peggy. Il. Title.

RC394.A85K45 1995 94-40538CIP

616.85 '89-dc20

rsBN 0-684-80116-7rsBN 0.684-81531-1 (Pbk)

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This book is dedicated to the memory of Fred Clwison, mydear friend and, s,ometimes sunogate parent. With his unfailingcornpassion and sense of humor, Fred enriched the hives of all

who knew him. He wiII be missed, but neqter forgotten.

I(ote Kelly

Thls book is dedicated to my family:

To Rob-for l<eeping everything togetlwr so I could" write it

To Alison-fo, fiuing my life with your bomlless love and joy

To Jeremy-for struggling so cowrageously with yow ADDand teaching me so much about mine

Peggy Ramlznldo

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Table Of ConfentsAcknowledgements xlForeword by Larry B. Silver, M.D, xuIntroduction: ADD Isn't Just For Kids Anymore! XUll

Chapter IFrom the Porch to the Printed Page:A Reader's Guide to Understanding This BookHow To Read This Book . Who Should Read This Booko Diagnosis Isn't a Do-lt-Yourself Enterprise

Chapter 2Understanding the Disorder That Makes Us FeelLazy, Stupid or CrazyAbout Definitions and Descriptions o The Big Three: Inattenrion,Impulsivity, Hyperactivity o But Why? . How Common Is Itlo Not Just for Boys Anymore

Chapter 3The Impact of Growing Up with ADDAges and Stages o The Cycle of Disapproval o Abilities andDisabilities

29

VI

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CoNrENrs-

Chapter 4 46How Are We Different?. One Channel Operation o Locking In/Blocking Out o I HateDetails o Defective Filter r Touchy Touchability r EmotionalRoller Coasters o Intense INTENSITY . The IDP Dynamico Bottomless Pit of Needs o Supersonic Brains r Activity Levelsin Flux o Thrill Seekers o Inrracrable Time Tyrant . SpaceStruggles o Action/Inaction Imbalance o Reaction Time Irregu-larity . Miniscule Mental Fuel Tanks . Undependable Memory/Leaming Systems o Impaired Social Skills' Control Centers

Chapter 5 80The Not So Fine Art of CopingBad is Better Than Stupid . fh. perfectionisr o The Blamero \Uho Cares? o Manipulation . Withdrawal o Chip On theShoulder o Thke Me or Leave Me o It Ain't So o Helplessnesso Controller o Peter Pan Syndrome o Space Cadet . The PartyAnimal o Emotional Incontinence . The Blabber . The Bulldozer

Chapter 6 | 06I KNOW. . .I TIIINK. . .I HA\ZE ADD:WIIAI DO I DO NO\ry?The Savvy Mental Health Consumer o The \7hy and How ofthe Diagnostic Evaluation o After the Diagnosis-You Are \forthAll the \fork It \7i11 Take to Recover o Self-Discovery and theGrief Process: Shock of Recognition; Anger-Why Me?; Denial-Not Me!; Bargaining-lt Can All Be Fixed; Depression-RealitySinks In; Acceprance-Out of the Depths!

Chapter ? 124About Balance, Toyotas,@ Porschesp Circus High Wires,and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics AnonymousFinely Tuned and In Need of Sensitive Handling . How-To's ofAchieving Balance: The 12 Step Framework . A one Rat Study:Analyzing Strengths and lTeaknesses o Constructing a Personal-ized Safety Net for Your High Wire Act

VII

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Chapter 8 147Interfacing In Action: Groups and FriendshipsThe Art and Science of Communication o Hazard: Social SlipperySpots o Act I, Group Interactions: Mental Gymnastics; RunningOut of Gas; Cruise Controls Set on Mega-Speed . Survival Tips:Group Interactions o Act II, One to One Encounters:

'lTorking

At Not Working So Hard, Negative Self-Talk . Survival Tips:Friendships o Effective Communication

Chapter 9 174Interfacing in Action: Getting Along on the JobA Variation on the Theme of Inter{acing o Act III, Getting AlongAt \7ork: Complex Interrelationships, Office Politics, Written andUnwritten Rules o Survival Tips: On the Job . High Tech Com-munication, or Don't Fax Yourself Out of State! o 'lUork

RelatedStress: Noise, Doors and Telephones o Foot in Mouth Diseaseo 'What

Do You Want to Do \7hen You Grow Up? o Are YouFailing On the Job or Is Your Job Failing You?

chapter l o 194Interfacing In Action: In The Dating Game and The FamilyHigh Stake Relationships o Act IV The Dating Game: Intensity;Insatiability; the Walking \Tounded; The Prince Charming Trapo Survival Tips: Intimate Relationships o Act V Scene I, Marriageand Child Rearing: Meet the Bakers, 1 Plus 1 Is More Than Two,Parenting and the ADD Dimension o Survival Tips: "PlannedParenting" . Act V Scene II, Chaos on the Cul-de,Sac: Boun-d"ry Issues and Invisible Circles . Family Therapy o Survival Tips:Emotional Living Space

Chapter I l 218From Mealtime Mania to Outing Ordeals:flow,To's of Decreasing DiscordScenes From the Kitchen Table and ADD Family Fun o FamilyLife Through the Eyes of Tom, Jan, Amy, Zachary and Jennifero Combustible Mix of ADD Temperaments o Survival Tips: Re-ducing the Chaos and Tuming Down the Volume . SurvivalTips: From Chaos to Peaceful Co-Existence

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CoNrENrs

Chapter 12 229Principles of Governmenfi Family StylePoised for Defense or Attack . Establishing a Shared Govemmenro Principles and Rules of Conduct for Family Meetings o EqualOpportunity Participation: Problem-Solving, Bargaining, Nego-tiation, Contracting o Guarding Against Expectations of Perfection

Chapter | 3 244Dynamics of ADD in Organization: Mechanics and MethodsLife is Difficult for the Organizationally Impaired o CreatingOrder: Where Do You Start? o Designing a Clearing Our andStoring System o Home Office Management: the Peace of MindPayoff o Practical Tools for Mess Management o Paper Pile Man-agement and Its Cardinal Rules o Ji3 Do's and Paper Pile Mis.management . Time Management: Thming the Time Monster

Chapter 14 278Dynamics of ADD in Memorys Mechanics and MethodsThe Memory Chain o Memory and Learning: You Can't HaveOne Without the Other o How Are Your Memories? o How DoYou Leam: What's Your Leaming Style? r Memory Tune.UpTechniques . Leaming Tipt o Leaming Disabilities and ADD

Chapter l5 304Cmtches, Ladders and the Decision to Seek Professional HelpAbout Crutches, Ladders and Assumptions o Are You Ready toAsk for Help? o Alternative and Mainstream Therapies:

'Whar's

the Difference? o The Value and Limitations of Research . Be-coming Your Own Case Manager o J[ Be. . . or Not To Be Medi.cated o The Issue of Substance Abuse

Chapter l6 324Medicine and Medicine ManagementA tial and Error Process o The How and \fhy of Medicine o Be-nefits, Action, Side Effects, Dose Levels: Stimulant Medications;Tricyclic Antidepressants; Misce[aneous and Newer Drugs . Self-Medications o Medicine: A Starting Place, Not the Final Desti-nation

x

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CoNreNrsI-Ir

Chapter | ?Therapy and More Therapyftgl"pt Dilemma o Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy . Speechand Language Therapy o Educational Remediation .- Psychody-namic Psychotherapies o Miscellaneous Therapies o FamilyTherapy o Social Skills Tiaining o Sensory Integration o Psycho-education o Support Groups o Asserriveness taining o Alter-native Therapy: Yoga; Massage; Brain Massage and Virnril Reality (l);Progressive Muscle Relaxation o Visualization o TianscendentalMeditation o Natural Childbirth Techniques o Diet Therapyo EEG Biofeedback

Chapter | 8From Obstacle to OpportunityIf You Could Push a Button and Not Have ADD Anymore, !7ouldYou Push It? o About Joy, Hope and Possibiliries o ADD and theSpecialized Brain o Abilities Within Disabilities: The ADD Advan-!"ge

o Success Stories o What Is Success? r Finding Your Niche:Better Late Than Never o The Bright Outlook for Us o ADD isMore Than a Disorder: It Is Also An ADDed Dimensionl

Epilogue:Imagine a World Without ADD

350

381

4tl

References 414

Appendix ASuggested Reading List

4t7

Appendix BResource List

420

lndex 427

X

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Acknowled*ements

Kate Kelly: I find myself approaching this section with some trepidation.I wonder if my erratic ADD memory will do its job adequately. If I failto mention someone who has contributed to this project, please chalkit up to faulty memory rather than a lack of appreciation.

First, I wish to thank the members of the Cincinnati ADD Adult S.rp-port Group for sharing invaluable information about their personalexperiences with ADD. They have also functioned as cheeileaders,readers and resource people.

Special thanks are in order to the ADD Council of Greater Cincinnatiwhich has organized a superb nerwork of ADD parents, ADD adultsand interested professionals. This community network has made myjob easier.

George Schober has eamed a heartfelt thanks for helping facilitate thesupport group, providing editorial assistance and being a good friendeven as he struggled with a personal tragedy. George is an ADD adultwho has become my role model for gracefully balancing the variousparts of one's life.

I am etemally grateful to Dr. Bonnie Green who contributed to theprocess of writing this book in several ways. She did a superb job ofsupporting my husband through the difficult task of writing his doctoraldissertation. As his committee chair, she went above and beyond thecall of duty, giving the extra encouragement I would have provided if Ihadn't been so preoccupied with my own project. She has also been anenthusiastic supporter of this book from concepr ro completion.

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AcTNowLEDGEMENTS

I also wish to thank Rob Allard both for filling in as supporr groupfacilitator and providing feedback on the rough drafts of this manu-script. Billy Stockton, Marjorie Busching and Marta Donahoe alsotook time out of busy schedules to read and comment on the book.Thanks also to Angela Field who provided child care and the use ofher computer when mine was unavailable. Suzanne Behle, my daughter'steacher for the past three years, has been a listening ear and supportperson whenever I needed it.

I wish to thank my co-author, P.ggy Ramundo and her husband RobRamundo for their contributions to a great writing/publishing team. Ihave been part of many work groups in my life but none has functionedas well as this one. I hope we will continue to collaborate on projectsfor many years to come.

Last, but certainly not least, a round of applause goes to my family. Tomy parents, Barbara and Charles Kelln who did a great job of raising avery difficult child. To -y daughter Tyrell whose many love notes,drawings and hugs kept me going when the going got rough. Thanks,Tyrell, for being such a great kid and for being so patient with me. Tomy husband Doug who has believed in me from the beginning. He wasthere with his support when this book was only a half-baked idea. Hedidn't hesitate when we took the plunge together, committing most ofour personal and financial resources to publishing it. Thanks Doug, forhelping me make my dream a reality.

Peggy Ramundo: 'Words

are inadequate to express my appreciationfor my parents who supported me in countless ways during the processof writing this book. They reminded me to eat and sleep, took overmany chauffeuring duties for my children and provided numerous child-free weekends. They didn't always approve of the intensity with whichI approached this project, but they never failed to support my efforts.

To -y husband, Rob-what can I say? You've kept me in clean, ironedclothes, my cabinets stocked with groceries, ffiy car filled with gas, mycomputer stocked with paper and my children embraced with yourlove. You've fed the dog you never wanted and protected me when my

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AcxNowLEDGEMENTS

old cat died. You've assumed all the roles I've given up the past twoyears-l couldn't have done it without you.

My children Alison and Jeremy have both shown incredible maturityand understanding at being semi-motherless. Thank you for gettingyour own breakfasts, entertaining yourselves, leaving love notes on mycomputer and working so hard to understand why mommy couldn't goaway with you and your daddy for the weekend. I love you both so much!

I'd like to thank my friend, Bunny Hensley, for her emotional support.Thanks for your friendship, Bunny, and for encouraging me to takesome time off once and a while.

Liz \fymer, my son's teacher for three years, has provided ongoingsupport and encouragement. Thanks, Liz, for taking such good care ofJeremy, providing the structure for him to manage on his own andputting up with all the times I've gotten him to school late!

My thanks to all the ADD adults and parents of ADD children whohave shared their lives with me. Your insights, experiences and strug-gles have contributed in invaluable ways to this book.

From Both of Us: Mury Jane Johnson, founder of the ADDult Net-work has been an enthusiastic supporter of our efforts. She has reviewedthe book at various stages and has shared both information and con-tacts. Her single-handed efforts at organtzingADD adults across theUnited States has produced impressive results. Thanks to Mary Jane,we have been able to gather information from ADD adults throughoutthe country.

Dr. Joseph Schroeder, a neuropsychologist who specializes in the diag-nosis and treatment of ADD adults and adolescents, generously donat-ed his time and expertise as a consultant. Dr. \Uayne Harrison has con-tributed by passing on professional literature and offering his ongoingmoral support.

Our thanks to Rita R. Stull for taking this manuscript on business tripsand spending her free time helping us dot the i's and cross the t's. Thanla,Rita, not only for your command of the English language but also foryour insights and experiences that have added to the qualiry of this book.

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AcTNowLEDcEMENTS

And last, but certainly not least, we'd like to thank David Stull for hiscontribution to naming this book. The title changed inumerable timesduring the process of writing it. Our pages of possibilities wenr in thetrash after Dave's excited phone call one day. His creative brainstormingculminated in our creating the present title that we feel truly capruresthe realitv of ADD.

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Foreword

It is now clear that at least 5Oo/o percent of children with AttentionDeficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) continue to have the disorderas adolescents. Recent studies confirm that at least 30Vo of these childrencontinue to have ADHD as adults. The behaviors persist and cause asmuch difficulty as they did when the person was a child or adolescent.

Some adults first leam of their ADHD when their child is diagnosed.Suddenly they say, "That's me. I have the same problems." Other adultsfirst leam of their problem when they read an article in a magazine orsee a special on television. Unfortunately, too many adults never leamof their disability.

Adults with ADHD continue to be hyperactive, distractible, and/orimpulsive. They can have difficulty with organization. In addition,many develop secondary emotional, social or family problems. Oftenthere are career planning or job related problems. Further, many ofthese adults also have learning disabilities which, like the ADHD,might have been undiagnosed and untreated.

Thus, adults with ADHD need information about their disability andits impact on themselves, their families, their work and their social lives.Kate Kelly's and Peggy Ramundo's book,YouMewt I'm Not Lazy, Stupidor CraTy?1, does an excellent job of providing this information in anaccurate, clear and easy to read way. Of equal importance, these authorsgo beyond providing information by offering specific suggestions andprograms to address each problem area.

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FoRpwoRo

It is critical for each adult to understand his or her past and how ADHDmight have affected personal and family life as well as school perfor-mance and peer relationships. This understanding can result in a betterunderstanding of past difficulties and can be the start of rethinking one'sself-image. The authors help the reader do this. The adult is then helpedto explore each area of his or her life, identifiring problem areas. Possibleproblems with self, with communication, with meaningful others andwith work are explored. Whenever a problem area is discussed, practicalsuggestions for addressing it are presented with many examples.

Men and women who first discover their disability in adulthood havemuch to leam and much to do. I thank Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundofor writing such an informative and very helpful book. A11 adults withADHD and all families of adults with ADHD will benefit from readingand studying this book.

Larry B. Silver, M.D.Clinical Professor of Psychiatry;Director of Training in Child andAdolescent PsychiatryGeorgetown UniversitySchool of Medicine

Dr. Silver is a national leader in the field of Leaming Disabilities andAttention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder. For over twenty years hisprimary research, clinical and teaching interests have focused on thepsychological and social impact of subtle, often invisible neurologicaldisabilities. His extensive writing includes over one hundred thirtypublications. These include his popular book , The Misunderstood ChiAand two recent additions, AttennonDeficitHyperacnvity Disorder: AClinical Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment, for clinicians and Dr. InrrySi lqrer's Adq,)ice to P ar ents on Attention D eficit Hyp er acnviry Dis or dBr .

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INrRooucrIoN

eDD lsn'f Just for Kids Anymore!If you're reading this book, you probably fit into one of the followingcategories:

l.You are well informed about Attention Deficit Disorder andare reading this book to see if it contains any new information.

2.You have been diagnosed with the disorder and are wondering,"\Uhat do I do now?"

3.You have a growing suspicion, perhaps fueled by your experi-ences with a child, grandchild or sibling who has attentiondeficits, that you may have the disorder yourself.

This book is for all of you. It isn't a scholarly text but a practical guidefor understanding and managing the dynamics of ADD in adulthood.There is a lot of available literature about ADD in children. Books arefilled with strategies for managing the symptoms of ADD at home andat school. But available information for managing ADD in adulthoodis in short supply.

What do you do if you have ADD and aren't a kid anymore? How doyou manage your own disorder? This book has been written to offersome answers to these questions.

This book is written for ADDers by ADDers. \7e both have exrensiveexperience dealing with our own disorders and those of our children.\7e have also dealt with ADD issues in our individual professions ofmental health and education. \7e have drawn on our professional ex-periences in writing this book. But at the heart of the book are our per-sonal perspectives and experiences and those of many other ADD adults.

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INrRonucrtoN

ADD is About Abilities and Disabilitiesand

ADD Adula are Capable of Helping Themselves

These are the underlying principles of this book. Having ADD meansthat each of us musr deal with an assortment of disabilities. But if youtake off the "dis", you can discover a multitude of abilities as welll Weare committed to rhe belief that each of us can use our unique abilitiesto manage our unique disabilities.

Our goal in writing this book is to educate and enlighten, and to en'.o.rrug. each reader to assume an active role in coping effectively withhis or her disorder. \7e hope that each of you will use it not only as anexamination of disabilities but as a celebration of differences:

ADD: A DisorderOR

An ADDed Dimension?

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CHaprEn 1-

Frorn the Porch to the Printed?age: A Reader's Guide foUnderstanding This Book

Dear Reader:

Plcase don't skip this section! Although it's really a preface,we've written it as a separate chapter.

'We thought that many of our

readers might approach a new book the way we do-by skipping themiscellaneous pages and jumping right into the good stuff! But theinformation in this brief section is too important to gloss over. It willhelp answer some of the questions you may have as you go along.

Over two years ago, we sat on a porch swing and shared our vision forthis book. Our original ideas took the form of a three page outlinewhich became our framework throughout the writing process. Manylong days and countless revisions later, our original Porch Swlng Plan-ning session evolved into the book you are about to read.

During the writing process, our vision changed little from our originaloutline. The chapter you are reading now is the only addition. \7echose to add this section to share with our readers the underlying phi-losophy that guided our writing and the decisions we made r"ga.dirrgthe book's format.

In the Introduction, we explained our goal of writing a book an ADDadult could use to understand and manage her disorder. \7e wantedthis book to be practical and easy to read for anyone with specific read-ing and language deficits. To that end, we chose an informal writingstyle and worked hard to minimize the complexity of some rathercomplicated scientific concepts. \7e also included numerous cartoons to

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You MpaN I'u Nor Lazv. Srupro on Cnazv!?

make the text more understandable.

'We would like to comment on the organization of this book before

you begin reading the three chapters that follow and question what wejust said about ease of reading! During the editing process, we agonizedover these early chapters that aren't as easy to read as the rest of thebook. They are densely packed with rather technical information thatis difficult to simplify. We didn't want to lose readers who might reactin one or more of the following ways: 1. "Have I been tricked? Is this atext book? I thought it was going to be a practical, self-help book!" 2."l've already read this information in several other books." 3. "How isthis book going to help me if I can't understand the first chapter?"

'We considered a variety of options from eliminating some of the infor-

mation to reorganizing the format. \7e concluded that none of theoptions would solve the problem.

'S7e knew that our readers would

have varying levels of knowledge about ADD and that some wouldneed an in-depth introduction to the disorder. \7e were also keenlyaware of the curiosity of ADDers who don't often accept suggestionswithout first asking, "But whyl" !7e decided that without this back-ground information, the anecdotes and practical suggestions that fol-lowed wouldn't make much sense. So we chose to leave the formatalone and to offer the following guidelines.

If you've already done extensive reading in ADD, you might want tojust browse these chapters. If you're new to ADD, just hang in therewith the early chapters, taking them at your own pace and allowingtime to digest the material. If you get really bored or befuddled, take abreak! We promise the going will get easier and later chapters willtake a look at the lighter, more practical side of ADD.

\7e also want to explain how we deal with the issue of sexist languagein this book. The seeming erratic use of "he" and "she" isn't an editingerror!

'V7e chose to alternate the use of male and female pronouns by

chapters. As you will discover as you read this book, ADD isn't just aproblem for boys and men. The assumption that the majority of ADDersare male has been challenged as knowledge about ADD has grown.Since this book is for all of you, men and women alike, we wanted tomake the language as inclusive as possible. So, the odd numbered

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A R,l;'# S 3':?T5 J: Jl3"fiil? +i?,1"""chapters use female pronoun references and the even chapters, male.By the way, there is no significance, other than a flip of a coin, forbeginning with she instead of he! Paralleling this issue of sexist language,we have also tried to avoid stereotypes, including examples of both menand women in non-traditional roles. This seems appropriate, particularlysince ADDers tend to be rather non-traditional folk.

Finally, we want to include a word of caution. In reviewing the book,a nationally known ADD expert raised an important issue. He voicedhis concem that every adult who read it could identify with the de-scribed ADD behaviors and make a self-diagnosis of ADD. This con.cem is valid. In our work with classroom teachers, many report thatthe manifestations of ADD characterize every child in their classrooms!

'S7e want to emphasize that ADD is a complicated syndrome with

diverse symptoms of varying degrees of severity. It isn't surprising thateducators observe ADD behaviors in many of their students becausethe symptoms of ADD are an exaggeration of behaviors and experiencesthat fall within the normal human range. Anyone can sometimes havelapses in memory act impulsively or have difficulty concentrating.The problem with ADD is one of degree and persistence of the symp-toms over time and across varying situations. ADDers have symptomsthat begin in childhood and .".n" significant problems in school, workand relationships.

Another part of the diagnostic dilemma is that various mental healthproblems have symptoms that overlap those of ADD. For example, p€o-ple with schizophrenia or depression have information processing pro-blems similar to ADD adults but often to a greater degree. Virtually allmental health problems interfere with organization and informationprocessing. So, it's not hard to imagine ADD becoming the new band-wagon everyone wants to jump on.

'S7e can picture the constemation

of mental health professionals confronted with offices filled with peopledemanding treatment for the ADD they've self-diagnosed.

'We can't emphasize enough that a diagnosis is not a do-it-yowself

enterprise. A person with schizophrenia, for example, might haveattention deficits but her treatment would be radically different fromthat of an ADDer. Using stimulant medication in her treatment

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You MEaN I'v Nor Lxzy, Srupro on Cnazy!?

would likely have the effect of dramatically worsening her condition.The point is, an accurate diagnosis is an essential component oftreatment.

This book isn't a scholarly, diagnostic manual. Several excellent booksof that kind are available and are listed in the appendix. If you're read-ing this book because you suspect you have ADD, follow the guidelinesin Chapter 6. Develop a relationship with a professional who can pro-vide a formal evaluation and diagnosis.

Ife don't believe, however, that an official ADD diagnosis is a prereq-uisite for reading this book. Individuals with orher mental health prob-lems and those without symptoms sufficiently severe to be consideredADD, can benefit from some of this material. Many of the self-helpstrategies are useful with or without a specific diagnosis. For example,a reader doesn't have to know why she is disorganized to benefit fromsome of our suggestions in Chapter 13. In addition, we hope that spouses,friends and colleagues of ADDers and other adults who sffuggle withrelated problems will read this book and develop greater sensitiviry roindividuals with special needs.

'We can all benefit from understanding

how glitches in brain processes can wreak havoc in the daily lives ofmany people.

Finally, we hope that you'll find this book enjoyable and informative.Ifqgr readers have half as much fun reading it as we have had writingit, we will have accomplished our mission. \7e welcome your com-ments, personal experiences or anything else you would like to sharewith us.

Sincerely,Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

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CuaprEn 2-

Undersfandine TheDisorder That Makes Us Feel

Lazy, Stupid Or CrazyIt's difficult to grow up with the hidden handicap of ADD. Many of usfeel that we've spent our lives disappointing everyone - parents, sib-lings, teachers, friends and ourselves. When we were children, ourteachers repeatedly told us we could do our work but chose not to. Ourreport cards were continual reminders that we weren't very bright. ThoseC's, D's and F's didn't lie. They defined our self-perceptions as kids whowere lazy. Sometimes we felt smart. \7e came up with wonderful inven-tions and imaginative pluy.

'We often amazed ourselves, our teachers and

our parents with our wealth of knowledge and crearive ideas.

We didn't want to cause trouble. We didn't start our days with a plan todrive everyone crazy. We didn't leave our rooms in total chaos to makeour parents wring their hands in frustration. We didn't count the thumbtacks on the bulletin board because we enjoyed watching the veins popout of a teacher's neck when he yelled at us to get to work. tVe didn'tyawn and stretch and sprawl across our desktops, totally exhausted, justto make the other kids laugh. We didn't beg for more toys, bigger bikesor better birthday parties because we wanted our moms and dads to feelterrible for depriving us of these things.

\7e dld these things because we had ADD. Bur unfortunately, most ofus didn't know that. Most of our parents, siblings, teachers and friendsdidn't know that either. So most of us grew up with negative feelingsthat developed around behaviors everyone misunderstood.

Pay attention.Srop fooling around.

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You MraN I'r'l Nor Lazy, Srupro On Cnnzy?!

If you would jwt try, you could" da it.You're lazy.Settle down.You cut da tt when you went to.Why are Jou acting this way?You're tno smart to get srch ternble gades.Why do you always mal<e things so hnrd for yowself?Yow room is always a" mess.You jwt have to buckle dawn.Stop bothering other children.Are you trying to driue me craTy?Why can't Jou actlil<e yow brother...sister?Why sre you so inesponsible.tYou aren't grateful for anything.

Have you ever heard any of these comments I If you're a parent, haveyou ever said any of them? Our bet is that your answer to both questionsis a resounding, "Yes!"

6\l l i

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UNDPRsTRNDING rue Dtsonorn TuRr Mnrrs Us FEpr- Lnzy, Sruprn on Cnnzy

It's unlikely that anyone would tell a child in a wheelchair that he couldgetr.rp and walk if he tried harder. His handicap is obvious and everyoneunderstands his limitations. Unfortunately, not many people understandthe hidden handicap of an ADD child.

PR: "l have somerimes wished that my son had a physical handicapinstead of ADD. Of course, I don't really wish he had a physical dis-ability. If he did, though, it would be easier to explain his llmitations topeople who don't understand. It would be easier for *e to understandhis limitarions."

For most of us the misunderstandings and faulty assumptions continuedinto our adolescenr years. Since we were old en'ough to know better,our behaviors were tolerated even less. By the time we become adults,many-of us are convinced that we indeed were-and still are-lazy,stupid or crazy.

Understanding Through Education

As we move through this book, we'll offer many suggestions and strate.gies for dealing with ADD. But the first and most important one is rorepeat at least one hundred times:

"I am not la7y, stupid or craTy!"

ff you aren't convinced yet, we hope you will be by the end of thisbook. _\7e hgne you'll be able to formulate a new, positive self-perceprionto replace the old one. Reframing your self.perceprions is your firsi 1ob.To accomplish this, you'll need an in-depth understanding of ADD.

The ADD Council of Greater Cincinnati offers a variety of servicesrelated to ADD issues and has a mission ro "Foster UnderstandingThrough Education". This is also the mission statement of this book.To understand your symproms and take appropriate steps to gain con-trol over them, you have to leam as much as you can about yo.rr disorder.

Even if you've already done your homework in ADD, we encourageyou to read the following section. You may not discover new infoima-tion per se but you may discover a new framework for understanding

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specific issues of ADD in adults. \7e will use this framework as we ex-amine the dynamics of ADD in your relationships, your workplace andyour home.

About Definitions, Descriptions and DiagnosticDilemmass Is It ADD or ADHD?

ADD (or ADHD) is a disorder of the central nervous system (CNS)

characterized by disturbances in the areas of attention, impulsivenessand hyperactivity.

Recent media focus gives the impression that ADD is a new problem.Some subscribe to the theory that ADD might not be new but is beingused by increasing numbers of parents to excuse their children's misbe-havior. A few years ago, one local principal concluded that ADD wasthe Yuppie Disorder of the '80'sJ

This observation would come as a surprise to Dr. G.F, Stilll a tum-of-the'cenrury researcher who worked with children in a psychiatric hospital.\7e doubt there were many yuppies in 1902 when Still worked with hishyperactive, impulsive and inattentive patients. Although he used thelabel, "A Defect in Moral Control", he theorized that an organic prob-lem rather rhan a behavioral one caused the symptoms of his patients.This was a rather revolutionary theory at a time when most people be'lieved that bad manners and improper upbringing caused misbehavior.

In the first half of the twentieth century other researchers supportedDr. Still's rheory. They noted that various kinds of brain damage causedparienrs to display symptoms of hyperactivity, impulsivity and inatten'iion. World'War I soldiers with brain injuries and children with damagefrom a brain virus both had similar symptoms to children who apparentlyhad been bom with them.

Over the years, many labels'have been given to the disorder. The labelshave reflected the state of research at the time:

P o s t -Enc ephnliti c D i s or derHyperkinesisMinimal Brain Damage

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Minimal Br ain D y sf unc tionHyperkirctic Reaction of ChildhoodAttention Deficit Disorder with and without Hyperactivity

The focus on structural problems in the brain-holes perhaps, or otherabnormalities detected through neurological testing, persirt"d until the'60's. Then research legan to focus primarily on the symprom of hyper-activity in childhood. In 1968, the American Psychiatrii Association(4IA) responded to this research by revising its diagnostic manual(DSM-IIX The revision included the new label: "Hyperkinetic Disorderof Childhood".

During the '70's, research broadened its focus beyond hyperactiviry andconcluded that subtle cognitive disabilities of memory and attentionproblems were the cores of the disorder. These conclusions, coupledwith the discovery that attention problems could exist without

^hyp.t-

activity and continue beyond childhood, required a second revision ofthe diagnostic manual.

In 1980, the APA's revised manual, the DSM-llla created new labels:"ADDH, Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperacriviry"; "AtrenrionDeficit Disorder without Hyperactivity" and 'T.esidual Typ." (for thosewhose symptoms conrinued into adulthood).

If your son was diagnosed in 1985 with ADDH, why was your daughterdiagnosed in 1988 with ADHD? Are you confused yet? \fell, you g,i.rsedit. The labels changed again in 1987.

A number of experts believed that hyperactiviry had to be present foran ADD diagnosis. They theorized that the other related symproms werepart of a separate disorder. Revised in 1987,, rhe current version of the{lagnostic manual, the DSM-lll-R5, reflecrs this theory with yet otherlabels: "ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperacrivity Disorder" or'"LJndiffer.entiated ADD" (for those without hyperactivity). And, jusr ro keepyou abreast of research developments, be advised that *oik is in progresson the DSM IV!

Is thereany reason to remember the DSM label revisions? We supposeyou could drop terms like the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual bi the

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American Psychiatric Association to impress friends at your next party!The information would be useful if you happen to be studying psychologyand need the information for an upcoming exam. Otherwise, the onlyreason to know about the changing labels is that they reflect an ever'changing understanding of ADD.

The debate will continue about ADD issues-what is it exactly andwho should be included in the diagnostic criteria? To provide guidelinesfor diagnosticians, the APAs manual attempts to label and describevarious clusters of symptoms, assigning different groups into distinctcategories of disorders.

The problem is that human beings don't cooperate with this attempt tocaregorize behavior. Behaviors just won't fit into tidy little boxes. If youhave ever agonized over naming your business report or the song youjusr composed, you know the limitations of a title. It's difficult to capturethe essence of something in a few words.

In practical terms, this means that relatively few people fit the classicDSM diagnoses. There is also much symptom overlap betrveen dif-ferent disorders so an individual may have symptoms of multiple dis-orders. The significance for an ADDer is that he shouldn't expect hissymptoms to be exactly like his child's, friend's or spouse's.

For our purposes, we've made the decision to use the generic label ofADD in this book. First, it's easier to type than ADHD! Second andmore important, the ADD label avoids the hyperactivity/no hyper-activity issue.

Specific Symptoms of ADD

As we review specific symptoms, you'll become aware of the imprecisionof definitions and descriptions, particularly as they apply to ADD inadults. One reason for this imprecision is the complex nature of thebrain and central nervous system. This complexity creates a billion-piecejigsaw puzzle of possible causes and symptoms. Each of us is a puzzlewith an assortment of puzzle pieces uniquely different from anotherADDer. Adding to the diagnostic dilemma are the rapid behavioralchanges that make a precise description of the disorder, difficult.

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Definitions and descriptions of adult ADD are also imprecise becauseadults don't have ADD, right? This \.\'as the prevailing rheory unril fair-ly recently. The focus on hyperactivity that frequently decreases by ado-lescence caused researchers to miss many of the more subtle problemsthat persist in adulthood.

Despite the diagnostic dilemma, you need ro understand the impactADD symptoms have on your life. You don'r have to be aWalkingEncy-cbpedia of ADD , but you do need sufficient knowledge to capitalize onyour strengths and bypass your weaknesses. In the following secrion,we'll examine the three major symproms of ADD. In Chaprer 4, we'lltake a broader look at an ADDer's differences rhat don't quite fit intothe diagnostic criteria.

Inattention

Attention span is a concept that has recently captured the public imag-ination. There is even a tongue-in-cheek TV show, The Short AttentionSpan Thearcr, purportedly designed for the easily bored.

Most people characterize an attention deficit disorder as a problem of ashort attention span. Th"y think of ADDers as mental butterflies, flittingfrom one task or thought to another but never alighting on anything. Inreality, attending is more than simply paying arrenrion. And a problemwith attending is more than simply not paying artention long eno,rgh.

It's more accurate to describe attentional problems as components ofthe process of aftention. This process includes clnosingthe right stimulusto focus on, susfdining the focus over time, dividingfocus between rel-evant stimuli and shr/ang focus to another stimulus. Impaired funcrion-ing can occur in any or all of these areas of attention. The result is afailure to pay attention.

\Torkaholism, single-mindedness, procrastination, boredom-these arecommon, and somewhat surprising manifestations of attentional prob-lems. It might seem paradoxical that a workaholic could have attentionalproblems. It might seem paradoxical that a high-energy adult couldhave trouble getting started on his work.

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These manifestations are baffling only if ADD is viewed as a shortattention span or worse, an excuse. When ALL the dimensions ofattention are considered, it becomes easier to understand the diver-sity of the manifestations of ADD.

The Workaholic might have little difficulty selecting focus or sus-taining it but have grear difficulty shifting his focus. Unable to shiftattention between activities, he can become engrossed in his iob tothe exclusion of everything else in his life.

Similar behavior can be seen in the person who has trouble sustain-ing attention. He struggles so intently to shut out the world's distrac-tions that he gets locked in to behavior that continues long after itshould stop. It's as if he wears blinders that prevent him from seeinganything but the task at hand. The house might bum down and thekids might run wild but he'll banish that last dust ball from the liv-ing room!

The Procrastinator has the opposite problem. He can't selectivelyfocus his attention and might endure frequent accusations about hislaziness. In truth, he's so distracted bv stimuli that he can't figureout where or how to get started. Sounds, smells, sights and the ran-dom wanderings of his thoughts continually vie for his attention.

Unable to select the most important stimulus, he approaches mosta

2 to oU

fi\ \

PI

t2

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tasks in a disorganized fashion and has trouble finishing or some.times even starting, anything. If the task is uninteresting, it's evenharder for him to sustain focus.

Heightened interest and a belief in one's ultimate success improvesthe quality of aftending. With an inability to maintain focus, manyADDers require intensely stimulating situations to maintain alertnessand attentiveness. \Tithout this stimulation, attention wanders andmany of us are told we're unmotivated.'We're

not unmotivated! Our problems with selective attention com-promise our abilities to stay focused and productive. So it looks as ifwe don't care and won't tryl In reality, we have to exert many times theeffiort of non-ADDers to maintain adequate levels of motivarion.

Impulsioity

Impulsivity is a failure to stop and think. Being impulsive meansthat many of us act and react with astonishirrgspeed and with littlethought about the consequences. Our brains don't control behaviorthe way they should, so we say and do things rashly.

\7hen we were children, we might have violated classroom rules,insulted our parents or run into the street without looking. As adults,we might blurt out confidential information or share intimate detailswith relative strangers. !7e might pull out from our driveways with-out checking the rear view mirror or leave work two hours early toenjol a beautiful spring day. Controlling impulses is tough for manyADD adults!

Impulsiviry plays out in other, less obvious ways. It can affect the qual.ity of work on the job. The ADDer often rushes through tasks withlittle preplanning and many careless errors. He might ger into debtwith impulse buying, discard an imporrant documenr or ruin a newpiece of equipment because it takes too long to read the instructions.

"He l<nows tfu rules , but breal<s them anyway .""Hls work is careless because he won't tr\.""He's wasting his ability ."

These comments reflect a misunderstanding of the impulsive wordsand actions of ADDers. Most of us do know the rules. \il7e l<now our

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work is neater when we work slowly. Wel<rnw we are capable of moreaccurate work. Knowing these things, however, doesn't mean thatwe can easily control the impulsive behaviors. People who makefaulty assumptions about us don't understand the enormous effortwe expend keeping our impulses in check.

Hyperactivity

Hyperactivity is probably the first symptom people think of whenthey talk about ADD. Th.y might immediately conjure up an imageof an overactive child bowrcing off the walls andhangingfrom tfuLight

fixnnes! \Tithout question, this random, excessive activity can be aprimary symptom of ADD. But it describes only one part of a largeractivity dysregulation that includes a wide range of behaviors.

Rather than moving too much, some ADDers talk too much! Barelypausing for breath, they talk so much and so fast that no one else

\

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has a chance to. say anything. The speech has a driven quality to it as ifthe words have been bottled up for centuries and are d"rp"r"t" ro get our!

PR: "At a recent conference, I congratulated myself for sticking to myschedule. Just in time for our break, i shared some information about-mY own symptoms. I commented that, unlike my son, I wasn't particularlyhyperactive.

A member of my audience stopped me ar the coffee pot and shared herobservations of my-presentationityle. she said, 'you might not be hvp""active' but do you know how fast you talk? I have atten?ed lots of *ork-shops, but have never leamed the quantiry of information I just leamed!And one more. thing. Do you know how many times you took the topgf yo-ur n9n 9ff and put it back-on again?' At the end of the workrhoi,she thanked me profusely for the wealth of material I had shared ,o f

'

guess I didn't overwhelm her too much with my non-hyperactivity!"

This anecdote has two messages. First, we can never stop leaming aboutour behavior even when we think we have a good handie on it. Se.o.,d,it points out that hyperactivity can manifest itself in more subtle waysthan physical over-acrivity.

These subtle behaviors reflect _the generalized restlessness and impa-tie-nce many of us experience. \7e- might have leamed to stop bouncingoff the walls and on the fumiture but we might still feel u..omfortable"when we have to sit still. So we fidget, t"p o,lt fingers or twirl our hair.Relaxing can be impossible so we might take o. *-.rous hobbies,work second jobs or run in marathons on the weekend.

There is a final thing we should mention. Hyperactivity can be either adeficit or an asset, depending on the quality of the behavior. If the ac-tivity is purposeful, hyperactivity can help us ger more accomplished.

Some researchers have studied hyperactive individuals who don'r haveany of the other symptoms of ADD. These folk are exrremelv activebut don't seem to have problems with attention, mood swings or any ofthe other roadblocks that interfere with productivity. The issuJ for hypenactive ADD adults is that much of their activiry is dysregulated, ,".rio*and unproductive.

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But. . .Why??

ADDers are curious folk. Th"y are rarely able to let anything go by with-

out asking, "But, why?" You may be asking this question about your

symptomJ. "l u- inattentive, impulsive and hyperactive-but why do

I have this baffling disorderl" If we could give you a tidy answer to your

question, ,erearchers would herald our discovery. Since no one knows

for r.rr" what causes ADD, the best we can do is examine possibilities.

To get started, you'll need a crash course in the I'letnoLogy of the Brain

and, the CenualNerq/ous System. Don't close the book yet! \7e promise

to make this as painless as possible. But it's difficult to understand ADD

without knowing some of rhe "whys" of the disorder. Why is your ADD

different from each of ours? \Uhy do your symptoms seem to change so

much? Why do your symptoms sometimes cause little or no problem?

\Tithout some basic knowledge, it's easy to assume that this disorder isyour fault. So, here goes.

Research Tools

As knowledge about ADD has grown, research has increasingly focused

on rhe possibiliry rhat the ADD brain and central nervous system are

somehow wireddifferently. Testing some of the theories is tricky be'

cause researchers can't open up an ADDer's skull to study his brain!

Even if they could, it would be nearly impossible to isolate and examine

a particular chemical or a specific portion of the brain. The human

brain is simply too complex and has many interrelated parts.

Instead, scientists are using sophisticated imaging devicq to scan the

brain. Brain Imaglngis one promising technique that maylrovide infor-

marion about th" cutnes and treatment of ADD. You are undoubtedlyfamiliar with the X-ray and CAT scan that provide pictures of struc-

tures inside the human body. Another imaging technique is nuclearmagnetic resonance, (NMR.), also known as magnetic resonance imag'ing (MRI).These techniques use magnetic fields to obtain clearer pic-

t,ri"r than those of a CAf scan. All these methods, however, havelimitations. They show the structure or shape of the brain but don't tellus much about hoq, the brain works.

Scientists also use drug responses to indirectly study brain activity. Th.yknow that certain drugs increase the quantity of neurotransmitters in

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the brain. A positive drug response suggesrs an insufficiency of theneurochemical affected by the particular drug.

How does this fit into the theories about the possible causes of ADD?Lett take that crash course in Neurology to glt

" better understanding

of the "why's" of your disorder.

The Basics of Neurology

The brain and other parts of the central nervous sysrem (CNS) func-tion as a wonderful and intricate CommsrdCentpr, This command cen-ter coordinates all systems of the human body through a messenger sys-tem. It sends messages and receives those sent from various parts of thebody and from the outside world. It also regulates and controls behavior.

The messenger system of the CNS consists of millions of nerve cells.These are cell bodies with long, thin projections called axons and den-drites. Impulses are carried along the length of a nerve cell and jump fromone cell to another in much the same way electricity travels tbrough a wire.

"The Brain's Postal S"ystem"

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Messages are first received by receptors in.the nerve cell's dendrite. The

;;d. in the form of an electrical impulse, travels from the dendrite

throuih the cell body and the axon. At the end of the axon is a syn'

apse, I g"p between the nerve cel1s. The eiectrical impulse,.or message

is .o.td[.i"d across the synapse by chemical messengers calle d newo'

ian ^itters. These chemi."li carry the message across the gap from one

cell's axon to another's dendrite.

you might be familiar with some of these neurotransmitters. Endorphins

ar" th"lain relieving neurotransmitters that act as the body's own

morphine. An outpouring of endorphins during vigorous exercise causes

the marathon r,rni-rer's "liigh". This increase protects his body-from

f."n"g the pain of stressedhuscles and;oints-an athlete is often un'

"*".if aninjury until he rests. Epineplvine, better known as adren-

alin, is rhe neurorransmitter that mobilires the reaction to danger. This

".ti,r"t", the fghr or fhghtresponse. The heart beats rapldlV and the breath-

ing passag"t b".ome wider so one can either run or fight an enemy.

That wasn't too bad, was it? Now let's use this information as we consider

some theories that have emerged from research'

Current Theories About the Key Players in ADD

Since the Command Center is so complex, it isn't surprising that there

are conflicting theories about the causes of ADD. Although there isn't

consensur, ,nurry researchers agree that this interrelated system is dysreg'

ulated in some furhiorr. The following discussion examines some of the

theories about this dysregulation as well as an assortment of other pro-

posed theories.

NeurotransmittersSome researchers have used indirect d*g response research to conclude

that an insufficient quantity of the neurotransmitter dopamine may play

a role in ADD. Since stimulant drugs used in the treatment of ADD

increase dopamine levels, an insufficient level of this chemical might

be a part of ADD.

Frontal LobesResearchersu have found reduced blood flow in the frontal lobe area of

the brains of ADD adults (See drawing). They have been able to ob-

__s_e_rve the brain in action through a combination of scanning devices

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[Re>rrrnuL.c)Br5

"The Commurtication Feedback Laop: The ReticularActivating System and the Frontal Lobes"

and radioactive tracers. Areas with high levels of the radioactive sub-stance have the greatest blood flow. Since blood flow is an indicator ofbrain activity or work, a reduced flow in the frontal lobes suggesrslowered activity in this area.

The frontal lobes are critical to many of the brain's execurive functions.These functions include planning, initiative and the abiliry ro regulatebehavior. It makes sense that they might, therefore, play a signifiiantrole in ADD. Actual frontal lobe brain damage causes impulsiviry, moodswings disinhibited behavior and sometimes hlperactiviry. These sympromsresemble those of ADD but are more severe.

Reticular Activating SystemThe reticular activating system is in the brain stem. It's the seat of arousalin the human brain and regulates the state of alertness from deep sleep tofull, waking cornciousness. Since alermess is a big problem for an ADDer-he has trouble staylng awake and paying arrention-an impairmenr inthis system might cause some symproms of the disorder.

RE rrc u u/tG{Ac rrrzATl N GsYS rEF.1

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The functions of the reticular activating system and the frontal lobesinteract as a conLmwicanon feedback lno1 . some experts believe that theproblems of ADD lie somewhere along this loop, perhaps as a shorc inthe wiring.T

This intriguing theory might explain the inconsistent performance anderraric symproms of ADD. Similar to a loose electrical wire, a short inthe loop of the brain's wiring could cause dysregulated functioning. Some-times it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Primary Sleep DisorderSome researchers theorize that the core problem in ADD isn't excessacdviry but rather, underarousal.u In other words, people with ADDaren'r fully awake and alert. These scientists hypothesize that a high ac-tivity level might be in part an effort to stay awake. Sleep disturbancesare fairly common in ADDers. Many experience irregular pattems ofsleeplessness and reawakening. Others sleep so deeply that arousal isdifficult.

Research into sleeping and waking pattems suggests to some investiga-rors thar the disorder arises from a primary sleep disorder. In other words,the person with ADD sleeps poorly and as a result, has arousal problemsduring the day. Other recent research indicates that deep dream statesare necessary to anchor leaming in memory. This suggests to us thatsome ADD adult may demonstrate associated leaming problems becausetheir sleep irregularities interfere with this deep dream state.

Parenting or Heredity?There are many unanswered questions about ADD but we know thatin many, if not most cases, it's an inherited trait. Children with ADDare likely to have ADD parents or close relatives. This might not comeas a surprise if you are the ADD parent of an ADD child.

Not all family traits result from genetic inheritance. Parents pass oncharacreristics to their children through their behaviors and their child-rearing sryles-children imitate their parents and tend to adopt theirvalues. When your son talks to his playmates and sounds like a tapedrecording of your voice with precisely duplicated words, inflections andpauses, you know the power of modeled behavior.

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?

The question of nature versus nurture has always been tricky. Do weinherit our behavioral characteristics or do we leam them?

PR: "'W'hen I was in college in the late '60's, the theme of respectingindividual differences was an integral part of my "methods" courses. Iwas taught that behavior and leaming problems resulted in large partfrom emotional and environmental factors.

'Was there a new babv in

the home, a death in the family or a divorcel

The underlying philosophy of my training was that nurture, or environ-ment was the primary determiner of behavior. During my four years ofeducation courses, I don't ever remember hearing that nature, or inbomgenetics played any role at all in leaming problems."

Theory of BlameThis theory holds that the only reasonable explanation for misbehavioror leaming problems is that someone, usually a parent, is doing some-thing wrong. If you are a parent, you're probably well acquainted withchild-rearingexperts who believe in this theory. These folk are the friends,family and teachers who eagerly offer unwanted comments and adviceabout the correct method for raising your children:

"He woul.d never behaue like that in my house.""You. ere too tough on him.""YoLr aren't tough enough onhim."" ALI he needs is grandma's spatula on lus bottom."

Many of us do our own share of blaming, especially before we leam aboutour disorder. Unaware of the underlying ADD, we often grow up blamingour problems on our upbringing and believing that everything wrongin our lives is caused by our dysfunctional families. Our analysis focuseson the impact of environment, minimizing or excluding considerationof a neurological make-up.

This rather limited view of human behavior may be fostered by thevalue \Testem culture places on self-determination.'!7e prefer to feelthat we have control over events and can shape destiny by our actions.It's unnerving to think that our childrert come as they are and that wehave somewhat limited influence on their behavior.

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Although the jury may be out forever on this issue, adoption studiesnindicate that heredity has a stronger influence on ADD than environ-ment. For reasons that are unclear, a high percentage of adopted chil-dren have ADD even though their adoptive parents have a low incidenceof the disorder. When research has studied the birth parents and familiesof these adopted ADD children, it has found a high incidence of ADD.These findings point to a genetic basis for the syndrome.

Many other studies support the theory of a strong heredity component.A University of Minnesota study published in 1988 examined theeffect of genes on personality. The subjects were identical twins whohad been separated at birth and reared apart. The study found that thetwins shared characteristics such as a preference for cold coffee andwearing three rings on one hand and four on the other.l. The researchfindings raised critical questions about environment as the primary in-fluence on personaliry development.

Related research has focused on inbom personality characteristics, ortemperament. The New York Longitudinal Study" followed a largegroup of children frorn birth until late adolescence. Three groups ofdifferent temperamental styles emerged from the research:

EasyChildren

adapt well to routines

adjust fairly quicklyto change

show mild to moderatelevels of intensity

cry only for specificneeds: hunger, wet

diaper, etc.

display positivemoods and reactions

Slow,to,Warm,up Children

adjust with difficulty tonew situations

withdraw from newexpeflences

withdraw quietlyfrom change

adjust well eventually

DifficultChildren

have irregular eatingand sleeping patterns

display pooradaptability

respond withhigh intensity

0verreact t0sensory stimulation

have generallynegative moods

have high activity levels

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As infants and young children, ADDers often fall into the category ofdifficult children. In one group of young children later diagnosed withADD,t' as many as 70olo had demonstrated symptoms of their disorderby age two or earlier.

Although not all difficult children have ADD, their irregular pattemsof reacting, eating, and sleeping resemble the symptoms of ADD. Someexperts consider ADD an extreme in the range of normal temperamen-tal differences.

This research emphasizes that a child is bom with a temperamental s{lethat remains remarkably stable over time. Although a parent can influ-ence the development of his child, he can't cause a difficult disposition.

Pregnancy and Childbirth ComplicationsNo one is sure about the relationship between birth complications, pre-natal factors and ADD. In a small percentage of cases, there is evidencethat pre andpost birth problems increase the infant's risk of developingsymptoms of ADD. The risk factors include poor matemal health, ma-temal age of twenty or less, long labor, fetal distress or post-maturity.

Most people with ADD don't have a history of these risk factors. Con-versely, most children with histories of prenatal and childbirth compli-cations don't develop ADD. It does appear, however, that early damageto the CNS is a factor in a small percentage of ADDers.

Environmental ToxinsThere is ongoing debate about an increase in the numbers of childrennewly diagnosed with ADD. Since definitions of ADD have changedover time, particularly regarding hyperactivity, it's difficult to analyzethis increase. Some argue that the incidence hasn't increased but thatimproved diagnostic methods have identified children with more subtleforms of the disorder.

Others speculate that environmental toxins play a role. It is undoubtedlytrue rhar environmental hazards are threatening our health. One thirdof children with lead poisoning have symptoms of ADD. The role ofother pollutants in causing or exacerbating ADD is a big question mark.k's reasonable to suspect that they might play a part as other substancesdo, in various pattems of neurological damage.

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Food Dyes, Additives and SugarHave you seen the cartoon illustrating a mother in the grocery storewith her hyperactive child? \XAile he runs up and down the aisles, shereads the label on a box that promises: "This cereal will take the hyper-activity right out of them!" If only it were true.

For years, a number of parents and professionals have sworn by theTheory of FoodDyes, Addinues andSugar as the cause of ADD. Dr. Ben-jamin Feingold," a pediatrician and allergist, developed a special dietto eliminate food additives and salicylates. The diet does seem to relievethe symptoms in about 5o/o of ADD children. Dr. Lendon Smithta holdsthat the primary culprit in ADD is the consumption of a large quantityof refined sugar.

The,.e theories have been repeatedly tested with little corroboration oftheir proponents'findings. Some parents are convinced that sugar inparticular, makes their children hyperactive. Scientific studies aside, ifa particular food or additive seems to contribute to symptoms, it makessense to eliminate it from the diet. There may be a subgroup of ADDerswho are sensitive to some food substances.

Information ExplosionSome believe that "psychological hazards" of our increasingly complexsociety contribute to the higher incidence of ADD. In his book FuuneShoclc, Alan Toffler'5 predicted that dire psychological consequenceswould result from the rapid changes in modem society.

The Theory of Informanon Explo.sion has validity. Many people regardedas entirely normal in a simpler society, could become overwhelmed bythe demands of a fast-paced, complex one. This doesn't mean that thepsychological hazards cause ADD. It does seem logical, however, thatthey could make the symptoms more noticeable and disabling.

Just a Bad Apple\7e doubt that anyone is doing research on this popular, unscientifictheory! It goes like this: The enatic behnq)ior of '\DD children and adulx isintenti onal, mnli ci o usly planne d mi sb ehavi or,

This variation on the theme of the Theory of Blame is based on theassumption that an ADDer can control his behavior but chooses not

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to. Of course, these theorists don't have ADD and don't have a cluewhat it's like to live with the disorder.

As an ADD adult, you didn't ask to be bom this way but you do needto work hard to shoot holes in this theory. Using your disorder as anexcuse for irresponsible behavior doesn't help your personal growth andgives the Bad Appl" theorists ammunition. A11 of us need to developstrategies to manage our symptoms-but we need to do it with self-acceptance and forgiveness. Every person with a disability has to makethe best of the cards he's been dealt.

How Common is ADD?

How many of us are there? Is ADD common? We have to say, somewhatapologetically, that we don't have the answer to these questions! Buthere are some guesstimates.

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The prevalence figures reported in professional literature vary widelyfrom 1olo to Z0o/o of the population. Studies that include individualswithout hyperactiviry cite a Z0o/o prevalence figure. The estimate ac-cepted many professionals is a conservative (in our opinion) 3-5o/o.Your question, "But why?" may be on the tip of your tongue. !7hy isthere so little consensus?

First, there is a lack of agreement about symptorns. Some research studiesinclude individuals without hyperactivity and some don't. Second, mostresearch has focused on children and hasn't included adolescent andadult subjects. The lack of consensus about diagnostic criteria and asomewhat limited number of studies with ADD adults has resulted instatistics that vary from study to study.

Am I Still ADD After All These Years?

\X/hile the experts examine definitions, statistics and the existence ofADD in adults, many of us are too busy dealing with our disorder todebate these issues. We know, or at least strongly suspect, that we areSrilJ ADD After AILTheseYears. And we're struggling daily with therealiry of this disorder in our lives. \Ue've been trying to tell everybodywith our words and behaviors that we haven't matured out of this "child-hood disorder". Until fairly recently, no one was listening.

The nature of our hidden handicap and our ability to manage our symp-toms have fooled scientists into thinking ADD is just for kids. As chil-dren we may have worn ow '\DD on oLLr sleeues as we bounced off wallsand destroyed everything in sight. By the time we become adults, how-ever, most of us have leamed to channel some of the energy into moresocially accepted activities. Neurological changes might also contributeto some of these adaptive behaviors. The result is adults who still haveADD but who have leamed to hide or redirect their more obvioussymptoms.

KK: "My experience has heightened my awareness about the preva-lence of ADD in adults. Three years ago I began teaching in a smallliberal arts college. A year into my teaching, I discovered that I hadADD and began educating myself about the disorder in adults.

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lUith this new understanding, I became acutely aware of students in myclasses who were like me. The first thing I noticed was the fidgetiness.These students were not classically hyperactive but continually jiggledtheir feet, tapped their pencils or doodled. After the first of two lecturehours, they would begin to sigh impatiently.

I made the startling observation that I could identifu problems of atten-tion and organization in students solely on the basis of their activitylevels. These students, often the brightest in my classes, continuallyinterrupted to ask what I had just said or registered blank looks of con-fusion. Some had difficulty with written work, their brains going so fastthey skipped over transitional ideas or left out important details. Th"yalso tended to blurt out irrelevant comments. Many had leamed tocompensate quite well but became disorganized in novel and stressfulsituations such as the start of new nursing clinical rotations.

Young readers who are just beginning adult life should take heart frommy experiences. Many of my students were excellent leamers and work-ers with positive qualities of extra energy and fresh, creative approaches.Th"y are representative of many adults who cope successfully with ADD.I have little doubt that several of them will have distinguished careers.

My experience with nursing students brings me to another point. Withone exception, the women I identified with probable aftention deficitshadn't been diagnosed as children. This is common for many adults,particularly women. Little girls with ADD tend to be less physicallyhyperactive and aggressive than ADD boys. Th"y may receive less pun-ishment and disapproval than their male counterparts but often becomelost in the shufrle. Their symptoms are so subtle that no one identifiestheir problems."

ADD is a Childhood Disorder that OccursPrimarily in Boys

'We hate to break this news to the old-schoo| of thought experts, but auth-

ors Kelly and Ramundo are ADDers who are neither boys nor children!The assumption that many more boys than girls have ADD, is beingchallenged as increasing numbers of adult women are newly diagnosed.

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Historically, six times more boys than girls have been diagnosed withthe disorder. The ratio is closer ro one:one if ADD without hyperac-tivity is included.t6 These statistics suggest that the leaming and adjust.ment problems of many ADD girls are too subtle to be identified. Thisapparent under-identification of girls and non-hyperactive boys is aserious problem. These children-and adults-have special needs thatare too often overlooked.

'We have considered several questions that don't have easy answers.

Although most of us are uncomfortable with ambiguity, we need tofocus our attention on other issues that do have answers.

"How has this disorder had an irnpact on mJ life?""How do ̂ y differences play out in my dnily Life?""How can I lwlp myselfl"

In the next three chapters, we'll look at the impact ADD has at variousstages of life and at the ways each of us is uniquely differenr from ournon-ADD peers. !7e'11 devote the remainder of the book to rhe thirdquestion and share lots of suggestions for managing symproms and dis-covering your ADDed Dimension.

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CHaprEn 3

The lrnpacf ofGrowing Up with eDD

R"*"-ber the Theory of Blame ? Blame often fuels a deadly cycle ofdisapproval. Consider the following scene.

You are in the grocerJ store uying to shop with your child" who is tosslngoranges dcross the produce aisle and pulling rhings off the shelq,tes. You arekeenly aware of the disapproving glares of other shoppers and"hear seueralmuttered, "I would" never all.ow my child to act Lil<e. tlwt!" In response to thedisapproval and JoLLr growing frustration, Jou angrily gab Jour child and,teII her she is an embarrassment and you've just about had" it with herobnoxious behauior. She responds either by throwing an orange at Jou orwrithingin a ternper tantrLun on the floor.

Many of us have countless childhood memories of similar scenes.Wewere reacting predictably to the ADD wiring in our brains while ourparents were trying to do the best they could in a tough situation.

These negative cycles of interactions and reactions result from blame.Teachers of an underachieving student blame the parents for not properlysupporting the child's leaming. The parents blame the teachers for theirincompetence. And everyone blames the child. These negative interper-sonal cycles begin early in an ADD child's life and impact in a variery ofways on her subsequent development.

ADD adults have to cope not only with individual symptoms but alsowith the negative reactions of others. It has been said that personalitydevelops around the ADD handicap-the way each of us deals withour abilities and disabilities is affected by our life experiences.

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To examine ADD's impact at different ages and stages of life, we'll bor-row psychologist Dr. Eric Erikson'st? framework of psychosocial deve-lopment. The backdrop will be the Cycle of Blame and Disapprovalthat makes growing up with ADD so difficult.

Developmental Ages and Stagesand the Cycle of Disapproval

Infancy-Thrst vs. MistmstThis first stage lasts roughly through the first year of life. The infant'sworld is filled primarily with sensory experiences. Especially in the earlymonths, she has little control over her world and relies on caregiversfo1h9r safety and security. For many babies and their familier, th. stageof infancy means frequent diapering, soothing, dressing, 3:00 a.m. feed-ings and fatigue. But parenr and baby develop a happy coexisrence.

The ADD Infant: This stage can play out quite differently in the house-hold of an ADD baby. Many of our owrr mothers might still talk rwentyor thirty years later about how difficult we were before we were bomlEven in utero, some ADD babies continually kick their morhers, allowingthem little sleep. Some mothers of ADDers speak ruefully of the pregnancyas a training period for the lifetime ro come!

Sleepless nights and harried days become a way of life as the parenrcopes with irregular eating and sleeping patterns. Her infant tends tobe over active, cranky, easily stimulated and loud! Her attemprs rocalm and comfort her baby are frequently unsuccessful. In fact, holdingher screaming daughter seems to make things worse. It isn't uncom-mon for this mother to say larer that her baby "jusr didn't like her".

Difficult infants are uncomfortable and unlwppy. Their parenrs feel amixture of anger, disappointment and self-blame at their own apparenrincompetence. During rhese early months, the dynamics of ADDalready begin to have a negative impact on family relationships.

Toddler Years-Autonomy vs. Shame and DoubtFrom about 12 months to 3 W- yearcold, the toddler develops ways ofacting on and reacting to her world. This is a time for gaining self-con.trol and a sense of pride as she begins to make choices.

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During this time, she develops language skills and struggles for separa-tion from her caretakers. She masters the word "NO!" and acquiiesthe behaviors she'll need for admission into the elite Tenibl^e Z's club.She's no longer totally dependenr on others and begins to jockey forpower in the family unit.

This_frst adalescerrce and the power struggles that ensue are remarkablysimilar to the one that follows about ten or twelve years laterl Parentscling with desperate hope to the folk wisdom about the Terrible 2's notlasting forever. For many, this is a difficult period. It requires enormouspatience as they attempt to guide their children's effor$ towards inde-pendence without being over-controlling or protective.

The ADD Tbddler: The battle of wills between the ADD child andher family really heats up during this stage. Tempers flare as rhe child'snegative persistence and poor adaptability clashes with parental at-tempts to contain the out-of-control behaviors. Even the most consis-tent, conscientious parent can become disheartened at her child's seem-ing unwillingness to follow rules.

Once mobile, the ADD toddler may be somewhat less fussy as she dis-covers the excitement of new worlds to conquer. This is often a mixedblessing for her parents who are led on a merry chase ! "My child neverwalked, she always ran," is a common refrain. The ADD toddler alsorolls, climbs, jumps and swings herself into situations that strike tefforin her parent's heart. Hyperactive, impulsive toddlers and preschoolersare more likely to have accidents and accidental poisonings than non-ADDers.

PR: "l have a vague memory from when I was 18 months old, of aroom with yellow tile and a red lollipop in the corner of my mourh.That's all I remember about that early emergency room visit that endedwith five stitches in my rongue.

But I vividly recall an accident several years later that was but one ina long string of injuries. As I crashed through my neighbor's white pic-ket fence, I clearly remember yelling, "oh, oo, not more stitches!"And I also remember my morher looking ar my bloody eye and saying,"Not again!"

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KK: "One of my more memorable emergency room visits resultedfrom plugging a barbecue fork into an electrical outlet. The experi-ence made a lasting impression. To this day, I have a fear of pluggingin anything electrical!

I have been told that when my mother was feeling particularly desper-ate, she would tie me to a tree in the yard so I wouldn't hurt myself or

someone else. \Uhen I first heard this story I was horrified! After I be-came a parent myself, I could empathize with the frustration my moth-er must have felt. And I only have one child-I can hardly imaginehow my pregnant mother managed at all, with her 1 year old daughterand very hyperact we 2 year oldl"

Some ADDers are rather calm and placid as infants and toddlers only towake up later as preschoolers. The homes of these toddlers might not be

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battle zones but can bear a striking resemblance to designated disasterareas after a major storm! Debris from toys and belongings are oftenstrewn all over the house by the distractible toddler as she flits from oneactivity to another.

The ADD child's lack of control gets in the way of her establishing ahealthy sense of independence and creates serious feelings of inad"q.ra-cy in her parents. Misunderstandings frequently erupt between theparents of this child, particularly if one parent isn't working outsidethe home.

The working parent usually spends just a few hours with the child inthe early evening. This parent can be unsympathetic ro rhe com-plaints of the exhausted spouse who spent all day with the difficulttoddler. One stay-at-home mother reported that the best thing thatever happened was her husband's losing his 1ob. After about threeweeks at home with his ADD toddler, he profusely apologized for hisearlier, unfair assessment of his wife's parenting skillsl

Preschool-Initiative vs. GuiltThe preschool child leams to make increasingly purposeful decisionsand behavioral choices during this stage in her development. She hasmastered her autonomy, has a clear sense of herself as separate fromothers and begins to develop feelings of empathy. Through daily trialand error, she gains an awareness of her position in the scheme ofthings and assumes some responsibility for her behavior.

The ADD Preschooler: By this point in an ADD child's life, the par-ent knows that the folk wisdom isn't true. The Terrible 2's should beover by now but her child is as willful and difficult as ever. The powerstruggles that have been raging for a while, escalate. The parenr oftenfeels that she is fighting a losing battle against her child's inabiliry roplan and accept limits. She worries that while other children are color-ing, building with blocks and developing friendships, her daughter iswandering around aimlessly.

Some preschoolers continue to have irregular eating and sleeping pattemsand resist all attempts at toilet training. Motor clumsiness can also be-come more apparent as the older preschooler undertakes the complex

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tasks of dressing and tying shoes, cutting, coloring and writing.

The preschool teacher is usually the first person to describe the ADDchild as immature. It's a word that her parents will probably hear foryears to come! In a preschool setting, the age-inappropriateness of thechild's behavior is particularly noticeable. Thntrums that were normalduring the Terrible 2's are an embarrassment at 3 or 4 years old.

Interestingly, many immature ADD children who often have difficultywith change, don't seem to suffer from the separation anxiety charac-teristic of their age-mates. The early, fierce independence seems tosmooth the ffansition from home to preschool.

PR: "l counted the days until my young son would start nursery school.While my friends shared their anxieties about leaving their children, Icould hardly contain my joy at the prospect!

\7ith my son in tow, I hunied past several tearful mothers as upset astheir children were about the impending separation. I must admit that Iwasn't prepared for my feelings when Jeremy ran into his new classroom,never even tuming around at the door to say goodbye ! I wondered whyhe wasn't just a little sad about leaving me.

I didn't feel any better when I returned to pick him up. After dodgingpreschoolers leaping joyfully into their mothers' arms, I greeted my sonwho looked at me and said, "l don't want to leave."

Many parents begin their search for answers to the riddle of their ADDchild during the preschool years. On the advice of the preschool teach-er, a parent decides to find out why her daughter doesn't listen andfollow directions. The fact-finding mission to the audiologist is usuallyunproductive. The evaluation rarely yields any information about aspecific\earing loss.

This trip to the audiologist often overlaps multiple visits to the pedia-trician for recurring bouts of otitis media (middle ear infections). Thetemporary hearing loss that accompanies these ear infections con-ffibutes to the ADD child's difficulties in listening and following direc-tions in preschool. Developmental lags in speech or language can also

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occur if the infections become chronic. The parent might find herselfvisiting the audiologist again for her child's language therapy and eartubes to prevent additional infections.

Not only is there a strong correlation between ADD and middle earinfections, there is also a high incidence of allergies, asthma and otherrespiratory problems.The families of ADD preschoolers often spendhours in physicians' waiting rooms!

The preschool years aren't necessarily easy ones for ADD children butare in general, less problematic than the school years that follow. Thedemands placed on young children take into account the wide dif-ferences between individual children of the same age. Preschool teachersexpect children to be at different stages of social, emotional and academicdevelopment. Freedom of choice is built in to the structure of earlychildhood education.

Expectations change dramatically as these children move into elementaryschool. As an ADD child makes the transition to the next stage, sheencounters increasing pressure to compete and perform socially andacademically.

Elementary School-Industry vs. InferiorityThe elementary school years are critical ones as the developing childbegins the process of acquiring the skills she needs to take her place insociety. Children who are for whatever reason, unable to master therequired skills, often develop a sense of inferiority. This is when theproverbial youknow what hits the fan for many children with attentiondeficits.

The School-Aged ADD Child: The philosophy of early education is toteach children general skills through exposure to varied experiences.\Tithin the preschool environment, the ADD preschooler's deficits maybe relatively hidden or ascribed to immaturity.

In elementary school, however, the rules change. Suddenly, the curiouspreschooler becomes a studenr. She is expected to learn specific skillsand demonstrate her knowledge in measurable ways, ie. tests. Thegrades marked on her papers and report cards reflect how she measures

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up to classmates. These measurements include specific subjects as wellas effort and conduct. As demands for perforrnance and comparisons topeers increase, she becomes at risk for failure and subsequent loss ofself esteem.

Many ADD children have trouble leaming in traditional classroomswhere teachers talk and student listen. The overuse of written tests andone word answers as measures of leaming adds to their problems. Th.yoften find it difficult to measwe up.

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Strong verbal skills can help an ADD student fill in the gaps of the in.formation she misses. On the other hand, she might suffer preciselybecause she can get by. As she moves up through the grade levels, shemay begin to fail. The complexity of details and demands for instantmemory recall tax her fragile skills. "Help" often comes in the form oflectures about her lack of effort. As the quantity of required writtenwork exceeds her abiliry to produce, she is accused of carelessness, poormotivation and irresponsibility.

This litany is a constant theme in the lives of ADD schoolchildren whosequaliry of work varies from day to day. Information that seems clear onMonday is suddenly incomprehensible on Tuesday. Teachers often misun-derstand the confusion these children feel and comment that they are toosmart to be acting so dumb. This often leads to the label of "underachiever".

A child with less ability often escapes the criticism that plagues theunderachiever but she may be written off and miss the opportunity toreach her potential. Faulty assumptions relegare rhis ADD child ro rhelowest reading and math groups where she is never expected to ac-complish very much.

An impulsive ADD child often spends as much time in the hall orprincipal's office as she does in her classroom! The frustrated teachersometimes suggests that the disruptive student be evaluated bV the schoolpsychologist. The testing rarely uncovers the attention deficits. More oftenthan not, the child receives a placement in a special class for the emo-tionally or behaviorally disturbed.

In social situations, impulsive and hyperactive children are characterizedas bullies and the non-hyperactive, reserved children as weird, flakyor nerdy. Although many ADD children experience social problems,the "bullies" seem to have somewhat less trouble than their "weird"counterparts. Peers often admire or at least tolerate rowdiness morethan they do eccentricity. The impaired social skills of non-hyperac-tive ADD children (who are often girls) results in lonely isolation.Ostracized by classmates, they may spend their recess times playing alone.Parents often say their greatest concem is their daughter's lack of friends.

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The drive to be competent in the school years includes a keen interestin excelling at extra-curricular activities. Even if an ADD child failsacademically, her physical prowess on the soccer or baseball field canprovide an opportunity for success and acceptance. On the other hand,if an ADD child makes humiliating mistakes in kickball and on themath test, she faces a double-whammy of failure. Her peers may rid-icule her in class and reject her every time they choose players for theirteams-and choose her last.

Relationships on the home front can also be shaky. Often the ADDchild falls apart when she comes home from school. After hours ofworking hard just to tread water, her tired brain gives out. \il/ith antic-ipation of her arrival, her parent or babysitter might start searching forinner strength. The chances are good that the child will walk throughthe door with a display of her worst behavior.

The behavior seems to reflect a feeling of: I can'tl<eeD it up anJ more...now that I'm safe at home, I just have to be me. The ensuing battles overchores and homework undermine parent-child relationships. Momingscan be just as difficult as the ADD child anticipates the stresses of thecoming day. The dawdling and procrastination drive her harried, late-for-work-parents, crazy !

The elementary school years can be very difficult. There are endless op-portunities for humiliation at home, school and in the neighborhood.The I dan't care attttude perfected by adolescence, often gets its start inchildhood. The young ADD child starts constructing a shield to protectherself from embarrassment.

The picture isn't totally glnonry, huueuer. Although the teacher mightnot appreciate the ADD child's improbable tales or detailed drawingsof monsters, classmates often do. They know that a great imaginationcomes in handy at recess. Her creativity and imagination can be val-uable assets. If she develops adequate social skills, she can become aleader when the group discovers that her ideas are interesting and fun.

Thankfully, there are many creative, outstanding teachers who appre-ciate and respect the ADD student's unique talents and gifts. AuthorRamundo's son has worked with several. At the end of his primary

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cycle, his teacher said, "l thoroughly enjoyed having Jeremy in myclass. The things I taught him don'r compare ro the things he taughtme about children with learning differences."

Adolescence-Identity vs. Confusion

Tbit is a period of searching for an identity and experimenting withdifferent ways of behaving. During this time, the adolescenr strugglesto feel successful and competent. She measures her self-worth prirnarilyby her success in academics, social relationships and extra-curricularactivities. Although these are important issues for the school-age child,they have enormous significance for the adolescent.

The ADD Adolescent: Research has shown that adolescents with ADDare at greater risk for lowered school achievement, suspension fromschool, anti-social activity and poor peer relationships.', Althoughhyperactivity may have decreased, difficulties with aitention, concen-tration and impulsivity generally persist. As the ADD adolescenr mea-sures her success in the three important areas, she often concludesthat she has failed. The baggage of negative feelings she carries fromchildhood adds to ever increasing feelings of inadequacy. School oftenbecomes a nightmare of unattainable goals even forADD reens whomanaged to survive in elementary school.

The physical environments of large junior and hlgh school buildingscan be impossibly distracting-hundreds of studenrs move about, lockersslam and bells ring. l)ue to the sheer numbers of students, educarion arthis level resembles an assembly line:

Stud,ents file in to the classroom, Iisten, tnke notes, real the textbook, pre-pare research papers, and nke pop quiTTes and written exams. After 50minutes; conueJor belts rapidly move the stud,ents and their hastily gatheredmaterials rc another work sffidon in the assembly plant. At the next stetion,another teacher pushes the barningbutton of the nixt subject, and" the processbegins again.

We hope that our metaphor doesn't offend readers who are junior orsenior high school teachers. But this is how it feels for the ADD ado-lescent who keeps falling off the conveyor belt-she simply can'r regroupfast enough to keep up.

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The heavy demands on fragile memory writing and organizationskills can overwhelm the ADD student who previously survived orperhaps even excelled, academically. Teachers and parents rarelyconsider the possibility of ADD. Instead, they assume peer pressureis causing the new academic failure:

"Youknow how a teenager isJ Slre cares more abouther fnenlsthan her school work. If she would iustburkle down atd spendlpss time sociali7ing. . ."

\Tithout question, the peer group is of primary importance to adoles-cents who expend great energy trying to fit in. Unfortunately, manyADD adolescents don't do any better socially than they do academ.ically. At this point in their lives, some may decide to give up onthe idea of peer acceptance and quietly retreat from interpersonalrelationships. Others develop an attitude-at least that's howparents and teachers sometimes characterize these ADD teens.

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Failing at home, school and with peers, they work at perfecting the "ldon't care" attitude they began fostering in childhood. This bravadoof beingbad often emerges to cover up social and performance deficits.There is usually a high school peer group who shares this attitudetoward school and adult authority. Believing she has no orher viableoptions, the ADD adolescenr may gravitate to this group. She hopesto finally find a measure of peer acceprance.

Normal adolescence is a time for experimentation as teenagers struggleto define their identities and separate themselves from their paren6.The impulsive ADD adolescent who experiences failure in every areaof her life might take this experimentation to an exrreme. The porentialfor serious trouble is real if she experiments with drugs, sex or other riskybehaviors. W"hen an ADD child becomes an adolescent, her parents takea deep breath and hope their growing child can successfully negoriarethe hazards.

The transition to adulthood is generally a challenge even for a well-adjusted adolescent. Balancing the need to break away from parenmwith a continued need to be cared for, is tricky. This paradox is espe-cially confusing for an ADD adolescent.

Although she may balk at rules and authority, she secretly fears thatshe won't be able to make it on her own. She is painfully aware of hershortcomings and knows that she needs to depend on her parents forso many things. She is overwhelmed ar the prospect of taklng respon-sibility for the details in her life. How can she manage her life ,rh..tshe can't even manage her homework assignments?

Emancipation from parents is generally stormy as she battles her parentsand her fears of failure. The marked irritability of earlier childhoodoften develops into intense adolescent rebelliousness and argumen-tativeness. The normal moodiness of this stage is magnified in an ADDteenager and contributes to the tense atmosphere within her family.

The picture isn't totally gloorny, hupeqten For some ADDers, adoles-cence can be a time of discovering special talents and abilities. A giftfor writing, math, art, physical prowess or mechanics can rescue her-she might gain status within her peer group and useful skills for adult-hood. Some socially skilled ADD adolescents become quite popularwith peers who admire their energy and sparkle.

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An early diagnosis and long-term supportive treatment can help theadolescenr ADDer successfully weather this difficult stage. Withoutthese factors, the joumey is much more difficult, but not impossible!In spite of long-standing difficulties, most ADD adolescents are ableto uncover their abilities. They grow up and join the majority of ADDadults who are self-supporting.

AdulthoodEscalating demands continue as the ADD adolescent enters adulthood.She still struggles with many symptoms of her disorder. And of course,she carries the excess baggage of failure and low self-esteem with her.These don'r magically disappear when she finishes her school career.

The ADD adult might still find herself alone on tlrc playgroLLnd, eating ather desk while her colleagues go out to lunch together. She remains aloofbecause she can't trust her social skills. Her erratic attention, faulty mem-ory and inabiliry to read social cues impair her ability to participate inthe give and take of conversations.

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The grown-up ADDer often has trouble working steadily on the job,especially if the work is boring or repetitious. She mentally drifts off,distracted bv the same things that have always derailed her. Inconsisren-cy can affect the qualiry of her work. When she was a studenr, she tumedin late projects. Now she misses deadlines and business appointments.

Although she doesn't run around her office, she might fidget a lot andmake numerous trips to the water cooler. Her coworkers might complainthat she doesn't do her share of the work because it seems she's alwavsdoing something other than working.

Arguments with spouses and coworkers and yelling matches with chil-dren can become a way of life for some ADDers. The short fuse thatcaused temper tantrums in childhood can now create problems of in-tensified, negative interpersonal relationships.

The adult with ADD experiences the world differently than orhersand externalizes her experiences, frequently blaming everything onfactors outside herself. She is so distractible that she isn't withierfeelings long enough to deal withher emotions. Unable ro process emotionsvery well and blaming the world for her problems, she might experienceexplosive outbursts or depressive episodes. During these periods shecan barely function at all.

Impulsive buying can create growing debt and financial hardship. Apattem of living for the moment with little attention to rhe future,makes household budgeting and long-term planning, difficult. Savingsaccounts might be non-existent. Credit cards might exceed their limiti.Financial planning and guardianship for the children might be left tofate, with no consideration of a will. Impulsivity and a need for intenseexperiences often result in risky, thrill-seeking behavior. This might be afactor in the high incidence of auto accidents in the ADD population.

ADD adults are also at somewhat greater risk for substance abuse. Impul-sivity, social isolation and an inability to handle emorions can make theescape of alcohol or drugs parricularly tempting. There might also be abiological predisposition for substance abuse, but this question hasn'rbeen adequately researched.

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Adulthood is a mixed-bag. ADD does seem to improve with age but inmany cases doesn't go away entirely. Research suggests that about halfof ADD adults are sufficiently well adjusted that their symptoms causelittle or no trouble.te It isn't clear whether the symptoms actually dimin-ish or if the ADD adult has leamed to manage them better. Marital in-stabiliry, frequent job changes, substance abuse and an increased numberof auto accidents are common characteristics of ADD adults who con-tinue to struggle with severe symptoms.

There are some variables that seem to have an impact on adult outcome.Th"y include: intelligence, social skills, socioeconomic status, familymental health and aggression. In general, intelligent children withgood social skills and a mentally healthy family of higher socioeconom-ic status have the best prognosis. The variable of aggression seems tobe a predictor of a poorer outcome in adulthood. Successful adjustmentin adulthood is seriously compromised2o for ADDers who display ag-gressive behaviors in childhood.

Adulthood is challenging for ADDers. \7e arc funcrional dysfuncrionnls,struggling with roller coaster lives we rarely understand. \7e are highsmkes' folk with the potential for both disaster and hitting the jackpot!

The picture isn't totally glnomy, howeeer. Many ADD adults leadproductive lives by using their particular strengths. Deficits can becomeassets. Hyperactivity can translate into incredible productivity andimpulsivity into a strong need for closure-getting the job finished bythe deadline. The risk-taking behavior that gives a parent a heart at-tack can become a source of pride when the child grows up. She takesthe big risk that puts her on the map or makes her a millionaire!

Excitability can become sparkle, a decided advantage in social situa-tions and the workplace. Persuasiveness and animation are assets inpublic relations, sales and advertising. Adults with ADD often shinein these fields. High struogr creative ADDers can be exciting presen-ters and welcome changes from calm, placid speakers who bore theiraudiences to death.

The ADD child who spent her school years in a fantasy land can leamto use her mental free flight in the creative process. This ability to see

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the big picture is valuable in jobs requiring vision and creativiry. Manyof us use this ability to assume positions of influence. If we leam tomake our wandering minds obey us, they can become powerful tools.

The restless, novelty seeking adult can avoid sedentary jobs that makeher symptoms so difficult to manage. A friend loves his 1ob as a longdistance trucker. He does have to sit for a long time but doesn't haveto worry about bothering anyone with his singing, tapping and wiggling.And he likes the sensation of movement. Another acquaintance hastumed her excess energy into a lucrative sideline, renovating old housesin her free time.

ITithout a correct diagnosis, many of us may blame our behaviors ondepression, anxiety, traumatic life events or lack of character. Under-standing that these behaviors are symptoms of a central nervous systemdisorder can have a powerful impact on these faulty assumprions. Thisknowledge can radically change our self-perceptions so we can leamto blend in with the rest of humanity. !7e can leam not onlv to survivebut to excel!

"Some forms of the disorder dre more disorilerly than others."

An ADD adult recently made this interesting observation. It reallycaptures the essence of the complexity of ADD. If ADD were a matrerof symptoms slotted into the three broad diagnostic categories, it wouldbe far easier to understand.

Figuring out how ADD adults rick, however, isn't nearly this straighr.forward. The disorder is severely disabling for some ADDers and muchless so for others. To understand how ADD plays our in individuallives, we need to explore the behavioral differences of the disorder.

In the next chapter we'll use these unique differences to understandwhy we ADDers behave as we do. This will provide the starting placefor identifiiing your particular strengths and weaknesses and beginningyour process of recovery.

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CHaprpn 4

How Are We Different?llow tre We [iffenent?

HowAreWe Dtffercnt?

If yo., have ADD, your disorder makes you different. There's no doubtabout it. You come into the world with differences that are part of thewiring of your brain. Not only are you different from others who don'thave ADD, you are also different from others who do.

Different Doesn't Mean Defective

Yes, each of us is different but different doesn't equal defective. It's fool-ish to ignore our differences or pretend they don't exist. It's equallyfoolish to focus exclusively on the debit side of those differences. Al-though our lives would probably be easier without ADD, they wouldn'tbe more valuable.

In the first chapter we examined the three broad categories of ADDsymptoms. Now we'll enlarge the discussion to consider the impactthese symptoms have in your daily life. You'll learn about your disa-bilities. You'll also learn about your abilities-abilities that are some-times hidden by the problems your symptoms cause.

So How Do the DifferencesAffect ADD Adults?

Although we talk of ADD as a distinct disorder, it makes more senseto think of it as a syndrome: a group of symptoms that tend to occurtogether. The concept of a syndrome seems an appropriate way ofthinking about a central nervous system that doesn't work quite right.

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Researchers disagree about the specific origins of ADD bur mosragree that the regulatory function of the CNS is somehow erraricand inefficient. !7ith an impaired regulatory system, an ADDermay have wildly fluctuating behaviors from day to day or even min-ute to minute. He may also have leaming problems caused by er-ratic attention and information processing.

The Wandering Mind SyndromeMost of us have minds that wander hither and yon. !7e daydreamand drift among loosely and tenuously connected thoughts. As ouro*1 thoughts intrude, we change the subject and inte.*p, withirrelevant comments.

Regardless of the "why" of distractibility, the behaviors associatedwith it are often mistaken for rudeness or eccentri city. Tlw WanAer-ingMind Syndrome, like all ADD differences, has its pluses andminuses.

on the minus side, an ADDer might engage in mental free-flightwhen he should be working. Bosses r.g"id his partially finish.i ,.-ports and unretumed phone calls as eviden.. of incompetence or apoor attitude. In conversations he may listen with on"

"ur but con-

tinue on some level to follow his own train of thought. It's obviousto his boss or friend that he isn't all there. His r."*Lg disinterestdoesn't win friends or influence people!

On the plus side, he can use his wandering mind ro notice thingsothers miss and make new and interesting connections betweenideas. His creative mind can roam beyond convention into imag-ination and possibilities.

If an ADDer can leam ro conrrol his wandering thoughts and cap-italize on their richness, he can discover a.raluable asiet. Think

^

about the stereotype of the absent-minded professor or the talentedartist who has incredille gifts but stumbles along trying ro managethe practical details of life. \7e don't believe thisitereoiyp. is mere.ly a myth. If we were to survey individuals in crearive piofessions,we feel sure we would find a disproporrionare number

^of nnn

adults.

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One Channel Operational SYstemMost of us are Eqinl Opportunity Attenders. \7e give everything ?ldanyrhing the opportunity to grab our attention! An ineffective filter-

ing systJm nt"ko us vulnerable to distracting stimuli in the environ'

ment and in our minds and bodies.

It's hard ro get things done when you keep thinking_about and responding

ro so many diffe."n1 things. The quality of the work you do manage to

accomplisit is often *"rgin"l because your focus is intemrpted so much.

Although some ADDers are able to juggle several things at once' many

find this difficult, if not impossible.

To accomplish anything, many of us have to operate on o-^ly one chan-

nel. Let', .rr" the metafhot of channels on a radio to understand the

dynamics of One ChsnnelOPeranon.

During a drive through the mountains, you may hqve to simultaneously

listen io ,",r"r"1 ,t"ti6t s as they fade in and out. You may spend a lot

of time hitting the scan button that is supposed to bring in the strong-

est chan."l. No sooner do you happily start singing along with your_

favorite song than it fades out as *Jt.ottg"r signal takes over your radio.

The normal brain doesn't seem to have trouble with channel selection.

\7hen a non.ADDer prepares dinner, he selects the food channel. He

can arrend to this strongiignal and cook the food without buming-it.

At the same rime, his biain scans and locates other strong signals-that

bring in imporranr information. He monitors the children channel and

switches to it when a sibling argument ensues.

An abiliry ro rune in several channels simultaneously is useful and

essential.'The radio in the ADD brain, however, seems to have a mal'

functioning scan buton that won't let him switch channels efficiently.

Rather th"l" pulling in the strong signal, it pulls in every channel with'

in a thour"rrd mile radius! He keepi losing track of the channel he's

listening to.

For many of us, the solution is to tum off the scan button. It's the only

way ro prevent the weak channels from interfering with our attention

to ih" 6ne we're trying to listen to. So we stay tuned in to only one

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channel. If we dare switch to the children channel, the pork chopsbecome dried out, hardened objects, permanently attached to the panwe cooked them in!

\7e think the one channel phenomenon has implications for kitchendesigners. They really should take a crash .o.,rr. in ADD. If they wereaware of this phenomenon, they would never design kitchens wittr large,open spaces for preparing dinner and chatting with guesrs at rhe ru*itime. It may be a great concept for non-ADDers. For one channel folk,however, this kitchen design results in lousy food or lousy conversation.Handling both at the same time is virtually "mission impossible"!

This difference causes undesirable behaviors in a one channel ADDer.Demands to switch channels are cruel intrusions. He snaps at the in-terrupting party, snarls at the person on the phone or loses track ofwhat he's doing. He may tune out the interruption, not even noting itor reacting v-e-py slowly to it as he undertakes the arduous task of

-

switching gears.

KK: "'S7"hen I worked on a psychiatric unit, I shared the responsibilityfor answering the telephone. I had trouble switching gears fast enought9. n1c\ up the phone after a few rings. Often, I never heard it ring aiall. Other staff members resented *y failure to do my share of thii 1ob.Th.y mi.stakenly assumed I thought I was "roo good" to do this mun.dane task."

An ADDer can be at a disadvantage in the workplace when he has totune in to many channels. The phone, boss and coworker channels allcompete for his attention. Many workers complain that numerous inter.ruptions force them to bring most of their work home in a briefcase. Thevcan't get anyrhing done ar rhe office.

The Locking In and Blocking Out PhenomenaAn int_e_resting correlate to the one channel phenomenon is overpersis-tence. When an ADDer becomes locked in ro a rask, he can'r ttop. Hi,overpersistence can make switching gears very difficult. It can also causea friend, colleague or spouse to leap to erroneous conclusions. 1. "lt'sobvious he can pay attention when he wants to." 2. "He's so rudel Hecompletely ignores me."

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Erratic focus and the general dysregulation that cause problems with

concentration and stick-to.itiveness seem incompatible with overpersis-

tence. Aren't unfinished tasks and short attention spans characteristic

of ADDers? We|l, the paradoxical answer is yes. . .and no!

Much of ADD behavior is paradoxical. Overpersistence could be just

another difference that is at odds with a "short attention span". But we

submit that it's more than that. An ADDer expends great energy and

effiort to shut our rhe distractions of other channels. With an unfiltered

sensory world rushing in to his brain, he has to develop some rather pow-

er{ul defenses to ,,r-ine. Overpersistence may be one of them.

\7e believe rhar an ADD adult may deliberately use this locking'in

ability to shut our rhe rest of the world. It can insulate him from the

wear and tear of handling the flood of incoming information. A one

channel ADDer may use his overpersistence as a compensatory strategy

in a sociery rhar values the ability to bounce many balls at one time.

Overpersisrence is definitely a double edged_sword. Spouses and friends

*u1rfl at rhe abiliry to sit at a computer and write for hours, oblivious

to everything else. E t ry of this self-absorption tums to annoyance' how'

ever, *ir". ."ui., po,rrs unnoticed through open windows or the tomado

siren evokes not even a blinkt

The good news is that this disability/ability difference can be used to

good"ad,ranrage. The bad news is that locking-in can be inappropriate,

Io.rrrt.rproductive or downright dangerous-in certain situations. Re-

*.-b.i the tomado siren-ltcking-in to the computer instead of rac-

ing for the basement could have disastrous consequences!

The "I Hate Details" DYnamicMany of us have an aversion to details. An inability to scan and switch

channels plays into this aversion. To scan for details, we have to attend

ro numerous pieces of data. We find that our brains are uncooperative

when we try io absorb many details simultaneously. \7e may forget

much of what we see or hear. \fhen we try to remember sequential

details, we can lose the first step before we can assimilate the second.

Our preference for the gestalt (the big picture) over miscellaneous de'

tails, may in part result from this difficulty with data processing'

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The (Don't Do Today What You Can Put OffTill Tomorrow" DynamicMany people live by this creed. Filing several extensions on a federalincome tax filing can put off this onerous task as long as possible. Butwe're not talking about a conscious decision to procrastinate.

'We're

talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we rry ro gerstarted on anyrhing.

What appears to be stalling or an apparent unwillingness to do some-thing is often a sign of the superhuman effort required to begin concen-trating on a new task. Refocusing is painful. It takes a lot of blood,sweat and tears. Although an ADDer may do great after he gets going,he has to work hard to shut out the rest of the world and t.r* off the-other channels. It's possible to become more efficient at self-startingbut it takes time and self-discipline to leam this skill.

A Defective FilterAnother brain function that goes awry in ADD is the filtering mech-anism. A brain that is working at peak efficiency can select what itneeds to concentrate on and filter out extraneous distractions. It worksmuch like the oil filter in a car. It filters out the dirty, useless parriclesso the engine can operate efficiently with clean oil. Coffee filtirs per.form a similar function, preventing the bitter grounds from gerting mixedin with the liquid.

ADefective Filter permits the "grounds to get mixed ,rp with rhe coffee."An ADDer experiences the world as a barrage to his senses-noises,sights and smells rush in without barriers or protection. Normal noiselevels can interfere with his ability to hear conversations or maintaina train of thought.

Even in a relatively quiet restaurant, background noises compete forhis attention and interfere with his abiliry ro listen ro rhe r"ilr"r. Dur-ing a telephone call, he may snap ar a spouse who makes the slightestnoise in the room. Unfiltered visual distractions can make shopping anightmare. The process of scanning the contents of a large departmentstore can be agonizing. The quantity of choices is overwhelming andoften creates feelings of intense anxiety and irritation.

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Touchy TouchabilityAn ADDer can be very touchy about being touched! His sense of touchis vulnerable to overstimulation as the rest of his sensory channels are.An intolerance of touch or close physical proximity is a fairly com-mon difference noted by ADD adults. The term Tactile Defensivenessfound in occupational therapy literature, captures the essence of thisdifference. Similar to most ADD symptoms, it waxes and wanes. Attimes the need for physical space is acute and an ADDer simply can'ttolerate being around other people.

It's ironic that with his poor sense of physical boundaries, he may bumpinto someone else's physical space while he fiercely protects his own.One ADDer ruefully observed: "People like me-other ADDers-candrive me crazy. I hate to be touched and they keep bumping into me."Others say they don't like livlng with animals because pets don't haverespect for physical boundaries!

Roller Coaster Emotions

hgDr*'Ltug oN E,ono*at

R'LLER cob$g*sWe're not exactly sure what causes the problems with mood and emo.tion in ADD. \7e do know that ADDers often say they live on emotion-al roller coasters. Feeling states {luctuate, with extreme alterations inthe highs and lows over hours or even minutes.

Maintaining emotions on an even keel is an intricate process involvingfine adjusrments by different parts of the brain and nervous system. Foran ADDer, this process seems to be dysregulated. He walks precarious-ly on his high wire never knowing how he'll feel at a given moment.The people in his life may tiptoe around him, fearing his next bad mood.

Intense INTENSITYPeople often describe ADD adults as intense. Feelings are amplifiedand blasted out with little restraint. W"hen an ADDer is angry he mightyell or throw things. \7hen he's happy, he often captivates people withdazzhng displays of positive energy.

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Low moods feel like the end of the world. Many of us have passionarenatures, artistic temperaments that react quickly and to an extreme. Ourtendency to boast and exaggerare may result from experiencing theworld so intensely. If we always see the world in vivid living .o1o.,we'll describe it that way to others. It isn't a planned exaggerarion bura valid reflection of our perceprions.

A Short Fuselfhen something pushes an ADD adult's temperamental butrons, im-pulsivity often kicks in. It may take little to r"i off his explosive remperor tum him into an irritable grouch. The outbursr that results can be

",baffling to him as it is frightening to the people around him. After theexplosion that seems to come from nowhere, he often feels ashamed.He can't understand why he made such a big deal out of nothing.

His anger usually disappears as quickly as it appeared but the anger heelicits in other people doesn't go away quite asfast. They shake ih.itheads at his childish reaction to a bumed piece of toast. He could justget another piece. Instead, he fusses and fumes. Since setbacks throwhim off balance so easily, he starts complaining when he should betrying to solve the problem.

The IDP Dynamic-Irritability, Dissatisfaction or PessimismThe moodiness in ADD can be expressed as generalized irritability.There may not be dramatic explosions of temper but rather, a continualgnmpine.ss. Unfortunately, thgirritable ADDer misses our on the highs,instead experiencing chronic dissatisfaction. He seldom expressespositive thoughts or feelings and travels through life exuding an auraof pessimism. Through no fault of his own, he views his world throughgray-colored glasses'.

Another manifestation of this generalized irritability has less to dort_th pessimism than with a feeling of being consranrly annoyed byother people and events. The ADDer may be sarcastic, rude or abruptwith others.

Depression?The-symptoms of depression and those of ADD can be remarkablysimilar. Mental health professionals somerimes have difficultv disiin-

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guishing one disorder from the other. When in doubt, many choosean antidepressant as the medical treatment since it can help symp-toms of both disorders.

Sometimes Clinical Depression and ADD occur together in thesame individual. $sregulated emotions can also appear to be symp-toms of depression when they're not. The symptoms can maskunderlying attentional problems. It isn't uncommon for a mentalhealth professional to make a diagnosis of depression and totallymiss the ADD.

The depression-like symptoms of ADD adults might be part of theneurological dysregulation that causes the disorder. They might bepart of an emotional response to repeated failure. Likely, the mood-iness of many ADDers is a little of both. Differentiating ADD fromClinical Depression can be difficult but it's vitally important. Theemotional piece of ADD is often just the tip of the iceberg of otherproblems that must be addressed.

Boffomless Pit of Needs and Desires

"I want.,,I need...I mustl'taqte"

On any given day, parents everywhere hear these immortal words!In the grocery store checkout, the begging can be for a pack of gumor candy and at the toy store, for the latest, greatest water pistol. Al-though it isn't easy for children to leam that they can't have every-thing, they usually grudgingly leam to accept the deprivation. Formany ADDers, the intense feelings of need continue forever. It'spart of the dysregulation of ADD.

An insatiable ADD adult experiences ongoing problems with hisappetite for many things-sex, alcohol, excitement, etc. He is a bot-tomless pit of needs, always looking ahead and never feeling sat-isfied. The simpler pleasures of life are too mild. Intense experiencesmust match his voracious appetite.

This insatiability can manifest itself in varied ways. Inside, it feelslike an overwhelming craving. The craving is often non-specific-

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it's for somethingbut not for anything in particular. An ADDer mightuse food, sex, liquor or shopping sprees to appease the greedy NeedsMonster. Unfortunately, feeding the monster makes him grow largerand more insistent so the ADDer sets a vicious cycle in motion. Hecan exhaust friends and lovers with demands for attention and affec-tion because rta olnount is ever enough.

Some ADDers develop pattems of behavior that include habitual over-earing or binge drinking. It's conceivable that a significant percentageof the membqrin the "Anonymous" groups-alcoholism, codependen.cy, and sex.aird love addictions, could have ADD.

\Uith hard work, an insatiable ADD adult can leam to say "No" to thenon-stop "l want, I need, I must have" message of his Needs Monster.He might quiet his restless cravings by dabbling in sports car racing orbungee jumping. He might assuage his need to sh.op tiLL yardrop through astrategy an acquaintance of ours has designed.

0D00

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She goes on periodic shopping binges, frantically charging hundreds ofdollars of merchandise. Having happily fed her Needs Monsrer withall her packages, she heads home. But wait a minute. Doesn'r thatmake him grow even larger? In her case, it doesn't because there's asecond part of her strategy. The key is that she has taught herself tobring the packages home and never open them. She has leamed thatwithin a few hours or days, the cravings for her purchases will havesubsided. Then she goes on another shopping trip ro retum everyrhingshe bought!

Activity Levels in Flux

Some ADDers are hyperactive, though not all the time.Some ADDers are hypoactive.

Most ADD ers are hyperactiqre and hypoactive .

Literature frequently refers to ADDers as hyperactives-a reference toexcessive activity levels. This reflects a viewpoint that is both contro.versial and somewhat outdated. Although some professionals still focuson high activity levels in diagnosing ADD, we prefer ro consider theissue of hyperactivity as one piece of a more generalized dysregulatedacnvity level This dysregulation can include roo much action (hyper-activity ) too little action ( hypoactivity ) and fluctu^ations between thetwo extremes.

Some ADDers know something that many professionals don't under-stand: hypoactivity can be a troubling parr of ADD. A hypoactiveADDer moves in slow motion and hears many "Getmowing's." If onlyhe could. It would take a bonfire beneath him to cause any movemenrat all! He may envy his hyperactive counrerparr.

A hyperactive ADDer's differences are most noticeable when he hasto sit still. That's when he starrs swinging his leg or gnawing on hispencil. If his job permits physical activity, the hyperactive adult canbe indistinguishable from his non-ADD colleagues.

Traveling salespeople cope with restlessness by staying on the road andon the move. Nurses joke about needing roller skates to get from oneend of the shift to the other. Likewise, the construction worker has a

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job that lets him expend physical energy. The level of activity requiredin these jobs can provide a needed outlet for hyperactivity.

Many ADDers are both hyperactive and hypoactive. It seems thatactivity levels fluctuate between extremes, much like the other dysreg-ulated symptoms of ADD. Sometimes the ADDer moves and talks atmega-speed only to flip to a state of inactivity that makes him appearnearly comatose.

Some ADDers report that on a given day, their activity levels seem tobuild from morning to evening. They are slow moving and thinking inthe morning, functioning well only if they can carry out routines with-out interruption. Early moming conversations with family memberscan consist of grunts and one word answers. These ADD adults de-scribe themselves as operating on "autopilot", capable of little morethan routine, automatic functions.

Nothing helps to speed up this process. These folk begin to gain alert-ness by midmoming which is a problem when they work standarddaytime hours. By noon, they're going full tilt, using their energy totalk nonstop to coworkers over lunch. With energy reserves drainedby mid-aftemoon, the big slump often hits with a fight to stay awake.The cycle often continues with a late aftemoon shot of newly foundenergy when they start revving up again. For many, the evening hoursare the most productive-late aftemoon or evening shifts enable themto work at peak efficiency.

This pattem is certainly not unique to ADDers. After eating in par-ticular, many people suffer from a slow-down as their bodies mobilizefor food digestion. The practice of the siesta in many countries may berelated to this normal physiological cycle.

An ADDer's cycles, however, seem to have more intense peaks andslumps. As a group, ADD adults tend to be night owls. Many havetrouble getting started in the moming and display irregular patterns ofhyperactivity and lethargy throughout the day.

Although many experts regard hyperactivity as a primary symptom ofADD, others hypothesize that it's an attempt to compensate for under-

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arousal. Likely, both theories hold parcels of truth. At times, rhe ADDerseems to be frantically trying to keep himself going by being physicallyactive. Instead of taking Ritalin to maintain focus and regulation, hemight use strenuous exercise to boost his flagging energy and attentionlevel. At other times, he seems frantically driven by hii hyperacrivity,a force over which he has limited control.

People with high energy levels can accomplish many things in a shorttime. \7hi1e others complain that a twenry-four hour day isn't longengggh to get everything done, an ADDer might search for extra thingsto fill up the unused hours. Hyperactivity can be helpful. Unfortu-nately, many ADD adults energetically spin their wheels, go in circlesand get nowhere. The goal of trearmenr or self-help can'r be just toslaw the ADDer dawn, but to help him leam to use and direct his energymore efficiently.

Thrill SeekingLack of restraint can cause an ADDer to risk life and limb in pursuit ofexcitement. As a group, we tend to be thrill seekers, minimizing inher.ent risk and danger. As children we fell out of trees and dov. fto*great heights. !7e may have made frequent trips to rhe emergencyroom to have our bruised and battered bodies patched up. As adultswe're on our own without anyone to remind us of the dangers.

'We

may still be making emergency room visits for far more serious injuries.Instead of climbing trees, we may be climbing mounrains or skydiving.

An ADDer isn't the only adult who enjoys activities with a high ele-ment of risk. But he may approach these activities without sufficientplanning. His behavior can be more risky because he engages in thrillseeking without recognizing the inherent risks involved. He fails topay sufficient attention to register them. Since he doesn'r register orprocess the information about risks, he doesn't really believe in them.Fuzziness about the extemal world may make him feel invincible andmay give him a false sense of safety.

The Intractable Time TyrantTime is an elusive entity to many of us. Sometimes we feel we've haveentered a time warp-a twilight zone where we tread water, getnowhere and accomplish nothing. Our sense of time is elastiC and we

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characteristically underestimate the time it will take to do anything.

As children, we're late for school, stay out beyond our curfews andmiss homework deadlines. As adults, we might be late for work andhave trouble completing projects on time. Teachers, bosses and co-workers often misinterpret the tardiness as laziness or an indifferenceto their needs. In reality, our behaviors can result from an altered timesense and an inability to plan.

An unscientific diagnostic tool could be to count the items on a per-son's "To Do" list for a given day. In Chapter 13, we'll offer a "test"we've developed to diagnosis ADD as a measure of disorganization!The daily list of an ADDer usually includes far more than any humancould accomplish in three or four days. A professor friend planned towrite three articles, a book and two grants over the summer months.His unrealistic goals were quite typical for an ADDer!

Perhaps there is a brain function called "Time" that doesn't operateefficiently in an ADDer's brain. More likely, his Time Troubles arecaused by various deficits and his failure to factor in their impacts onhis life. He figures that it shouldn't take more than two hours to pre-pare a small dinner for friends. So, he decides to add a few extra thingsto his afternoon plans. Regrettably, he fails to plan for the inevitabledistractions that will derail him. Preparing the meal always takes muchlonger than he thinks it will.

Time toubles play out in other ways as well, with time passing bothmore quickly and more slowly than it should. \fhen an ADDer is lostin his own compelling thoughts, the hours fly by in an instant whileroutine work hours inch along at an excruciatingly slow pace.

Sometimes, even unpleasant tasks can grab the ADD adult. Most peopledon't think of housework as their favorite activity. Then why does anADDer who hates housework spend hours "spit-shining" his housewhile other chores remain unfinished? The answer lies in overpersis-tence. It's not uncommon for him to become locked-in, obsessivelyattacking tiny specks of dirt. The day evaporates as he scrubs a smallportion of a room into antiseptic perfection. This would be okay if hehad the time or inclination to spend his life pursuing the elusive dream

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of a spotless home. Of course, his time is limited and must be dividedamong a variety of chores.

The time he neqter accounted for is eaten up by lisx tlwt are too long:Another day is gone. . .Itt 3 o'clnck in tlte morning, , .The alarrn will go offin three hows . . .Doesn't tlw Ttme Monstnr euer sleep? ? ?

Space StmgglesAn ADD adult can also have a distorted sense of space and problemsof directionality. As an adult, he might still rely on the visual clue ofhis wristwatch to identify right and left. He might have difficulty fol-lowing a road map or understanding the compass settings of North,South, East and \Uest.

He can also have a distorted sense of how his body moves in space inrelationship to other objects. As a consequence, he bumps into otherpeople or fumiture. He might be unable to gauge the speed and direc-tion of a ball in tennis or baseball games. Sports that demand finelytuned spatial abilities can be particularly difficult for him.

Similar to a distorted sense of time, an altered sense of space might berelated to excessive speed and deficient planning. It can also result fromthe impaired information processing of a specific leaming disability.

Spatial problems aren't limited to sports activities and directionality.They also have an impact on organization. An ADD adult often liveswith a daunting amount of clutter and disorganization. Even when heslows down to take the time to tidy up, he faces a nightmarish task offiguring out what to do with his chaotic surroundings. He may dreamof having enough money to hire the right person to organize all thestuff in his life so he can ger on with the business of living.

The ADD brain seems to have trouble sorting and filing. \7e ADDerstend to focus on all the exceptions to the orderly rules of the world.\7e play a perpetual game of "But what about. . .l' It's difficult to organizeeither space or a filing system without an ability to decide which thingsbelong together.

Memory also plays a role in an ADDer's Space Troubles. Before he can

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organize his belongings, he has to remember where they are. After hefinds them he still has to figure out what to do with them!

Some of us dismiss the e{fect of clutter on our lives, assuring ourselvesthat tidiness is simply a waste of time. Others become obsessed withputting things in order and have time for little else. Although neithercourse of action is particularly helpful, problems with spatial organi-zation are common for many of us with ADD.

The ADDer's environment is a confusing one over which he constantlystruggles to gain a semblance of control. A certain degree of order isimportant for emotional well-being. Preventing the overwhelmingfeelings of confusion that result from untamed piles of junk is an impor-tant goal.

Information ProcessingSome of the differences of ADDers can be understood within the con-text of information processing. How do we think about and act on theinformation we receive from the environment? Do we have uniqueADD thinking and acting styles? To answer these questions and exam-ine other differences in ADD adults, we'll use the Theory of Systems asa working model of the brain's functions.

Systems consist of assorted parts organized into a whole to serve a func-tion or reach a goal. Every system uses energy and resources from theenvironment as its input. It transforms, or proces.ses the input into analtemative form called output and sends it back to the environment.

A computer system takes input from humans by way of the keyboard.It processes it and produces new information as output on a printout.Similarly, the human brain receives input from the outside worldthrough the senses, processes it and produces output in the form ofwords or actions.

If a computer malfunctions, we look at the three parts of the system tofind out what's wrong. Human error can interfere with input if infor-mation is keyed incorrectly. A problem in the information processingof the computer itself may also exist. Finally, the output function canbe flawed if there is a mechanical problem with the printer.

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Breaking down the workings of the brain in to these three componentscan help us better understand what's happening when things go wrong.A significant problem for many of us with ADD is mismatched input,information processing and output capacities.

In general, an ADDer processes intemal information rapidly but has aless efficient capacity for the input and output functions. Problems withselective attention and filtering compromise the qualiry of input-gettinginformation into his brain. Difficulties with impulsivity, activity levels,memory retrieval, motor control and rambling speech compromise thequality of output-effectively communicating or acting on the pro.cessed information. Let's take a look at how input/output weaknessesand intemal processing strengths create some unique ADD differences.

Action and Inaction Imbalance\7e know that as ADD adults, we have problems with aftention. That'swhy our disorder is called an Attention Deficit Disorder. \7e havetrouble with selective attenaon-focusing on one part of the vast array ofinformation that bombards our senses. This is just the first step inprocessing information, however.

'!7e also have trouble with the second step, sele,ctiqte intention-selec-

ting one response from a variety of possible action choices. Levineztexamines the interplay of selective intention and selective attentionin his book on developmental variation. He makes the point that it'srare to find a person who has difficulty with attention without alsohaving difficulty with intention, or acrion.

\Uhen your teacher complained that you weren't paying attention,was he observing the neurological process in your brain? Of coursenot! He was observing behavior. Your action-looking out the windowrather than at your math book-resulted from listening to the blue jayinstead of your teacher.

The action part of attention depends on balancing the forces of action,facilinaon and inaction , inhibition. The brain needs to facilitare, or sup-port helpful actions while it inhibits, or blocks the harmful ones. Manyof the differences unique to an ADDer result from an imbalance in thisarea. \fhen he should be in his inaction mode, he blurts out a hasty,

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sloppy response he should have inhibited. \Uhen he should be in hisaction mode, he fails to answer a question he should have facilitated.

In tennis, facilitation helps him react quickly to retum a shot andinhibition prevents him from reacting too quickly and moving whenhe should be waiting. A bad game of tennis is one thing but socialerrors are something else.

Disinhibition causes many of the social problems an ADDer experi-ences. He says things he shouldn't say, interrupts conversations andintrudes on a friend's personal space. Because he has trouble slowingdown enough to stop and think, he may not even realize his mistake.Sometimes he may realize it but is too embarrassed to apologize.

Failure to restrain or inhibit can cause problems far more serious thana social faux pas. An ADDer tends to react quickly and intensely tohis impulses. He may strike out at his children or let loose a stream ofverbal abuse. Arguments with his spouse can quickly get out of handas he says things in the heat of the moment only to regret them later.

He doesn't mean to lash out and is ashamed of his behavior. The hastywords or actions were neither planned nor intended.

If behavior is judged by intentions, we ADDers are blnrneless-we didn't, mean it!

While it's true that we're not calculating criminals, we need to lookbeyond good intentions. These impulsive words or actions can destroyrelationships and psyches.\Ue have to consider the impact of ourbehavior on other people, especially our loved ones.

A failure to inhibit one's words isn't always a negative quality-anability to say just about anything can come in handy. Thlking aboutpersonal experiences and problems can open doors for others to shareconfidences. Most people are enormously relieved to discover thatothers share their fears and insecurities. The mushrooming number ofsupport groups is evidence of this need to share and be intimate. Manypeople seem to be starved for connections to others.

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People laugh when the truth is exaggerated, twisted, or expanded tothe level of absurdity. An ADDer who doesn't inhiblt the flow of histhoughts can dream up outrageously funny things to say-things thatothers wouldn't dare to utter! If he can leam to monitor himself suffi-ciently to keep from stepping over the line into offensiveness, he cancontribute a sparkling sense of humor.

The Supersonic BrainStated simply, the ADD brain goes fast! Although we've listed it separ-ately, the Srzpersonic Brain is closely related to the action/inactionbalance.

An ADDefs ahered cogninve rcmpo can translate into unmonitoredrapid-fire speech. \Tithout pausing for breath, he may prevenr anyoneelse from getting a word in edgewise. Handwriting and other aspects oftask perfrormance can also suffer as he fails to slow down enough to bal-ance his intemal processing and physical capabilities (output). As aresult, he makes careless errors and has trouble with motor tasks. Theauthors, for instance, have had a long-standing love/hate relationshipwith tennis that has resulted in part from the Supersonic Brain pheno-menon.

PR: "Kate and I should have our names listed on a plaque of notableaccomplishments, a kind of Guinness Book of Records. I7e merit inclu-sion on the basis of our record setting number of years in beginner andadvanced beginner tennis lessons ! Regardless of how hard we workedat our game, we never seemed to make much progress. After we bothstarted taking Ritalin, we experienced a startling improvement in ourskills on the tennis court.

Lest struggling athletes read this and race to their pharmacies for theirphysical skill pills, I need to emphasize that the improvement we ex-perienced was one of mental skill.

'!7e were playing better because we

were thinking better, or at least more slowly and with better planning.

Taming our runaway thinking tempos gave us a more accurate sense oftime. Our abilities to strategize and s-l-o-w d-o-w-n improved our game.With relief and a sense of accomplishment, we finally graduared fromour beginner lessons."

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Applying the brakes to our Supersonic Brains often gets easier by thetime we become adults. Many of us manage to achieve some degree ofbalance and an ability to stop and think-at least more often than wedid as children. Unfortunately, as soon as we start feeling complacent,something invariably goes wrong.

KK: "I'm certainly no whiz at higher mathematics but I can accu-rately add long columns of figures. I prefer doing my addition withouta calculator so I don't have to worry about pushing the wrong buttons.

Several years ago, however, I made the mistake of rapidly calculatingour household budget to ascertain whether my husband and I couldafford a major renovation. I didn't recheck my figures before assuringmy husband that the project was financially do-able. I swept away hisnatural caution with my enthusiasm and energy and implied that hewas a stick-in-the-mud for raising questions and objections. After wehad committed to the project and were up to our ears in plaster dust, Ifound a glaring omission in my figures. I had neglected to add themortgage paymenr ro our monthly budget!

My sainted grandmother bailed us out. If she hadn't given me a portionof an inheritance, we might still be in debtors' prison-assuming suchplaces still exist! \7e could have lost our house and still feel the pinchof my mistake. Frankly, it scared the devil out of me!"

This anecdote is illusffative of an important balancing act for many ofus with ADD. We have to put the brakes on our racing thoughts grad.ually enough that we don't come to screeching halts, paralyzed byfears of making impulsive mistakes. Alternately, we don'r always applythe brakes when we should, especially when we're working on some.thing easy or familiar. !7hen we're feeling overconfident we may "putthe pedal to the metal" and send our racing thoughts careening out ofcontrol!

Paralysis of the WillThe balance can also tip in the other direction, with a failure to act arall-something like a paralysis of the will. The output function totallystops working.

'S7hen this happens, the ADDer may find himself in a

frozen state, unable to take appropriate action. He may watch thesoftball whiz by as if he were a spectator instead of the player respon-sible for intercepting it. \7hen it's time to answer someone's question,

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he may stand back feeling stupid, because he can't think of a response.Input problems probably also play a part in this paralysis of the will. Ifhe hasn't input the information he needs to properly respond, the qual-ity of his output will be impaired.

Reaction Time IrregularityOur discussion of the fast-thinking brain may seem puzzling. You maybe thinking, "That's crazy! My brain moves with the speed of a glacierand it makes me feel pretty stupid." This is another of the ADD para-doxes. Your brain moves both very slowly and very rapidlyJependingon the task.

If an ADDer is free to direct his own thoughts and actions, the rapidfreewheeling aspect of his brain takes over. When he has to fit intosomeone else's agenda either with words or actions, he finds it moredifficult to function well. In other words, it's easier to ect than react.Reacting depends on the problematic input and output functions of anADD brain. If you can rely on your ability to process information inter-nally, you can often take swift and decisive action.

Fluent self-expression is independent of an ability to respond to ques-tions. A person with the gift of gab who ignores you when you askdirect questions, might not be rude or disinterested. He might havetrouble retrieving things from memory in a demand situation.

PR: "I have a particular gift for speaking and conduct workshops with-out missing a beat. \fhen I get ready to share information with anaudience, I become energized and focused. I thoroughly enjoy thiswork and am never at a loss for words. But informal gatherings are atotally different matter. Even in a group of friends, I often flnd myselfgroping for things to say in response to questions.

This baffling behavior confused me until I understood my ADD. Nowit makes perfect sense. I am in charge of my thoughts and the direc-tion of my work during my conferences. I rely on the wealth of myknowledge and my excellent long-term memory to orchestrate thesesessions. The question and answer period isn't a problem eitherbecause the focus is something I know well. But at the social gather-ing, I have to react and respond to conversation generated by otherpeople. My brain often doesn't work fast enough to find what I needto say. On the way home from these gatherings, I usually think of many

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things I could have said."

Clearly, most people function best u'hen the task or subject is some-thing they know well. You don't have to have ADD to be at a loss forwords. But ADDers seem to regularly experience this phenomenon. Itresults from a significant imbalance in action and reaction capabilities.

Connections to the world are generally slow and inefficienr while in-ternal connections work with lightning rapidity. Ourpur can be diffi-cult because the ADDer has to synchronize his mental speed with hisslower output. An inability to respond quickly to requests seems to bestubborn or non-compliant behavior. In reality, these behaviors can bemanifestations of irregular reaction capabilities. His mouth, brain andbody just don't cooperate very well in demand situations.

As many of us struggle with mismatched input/output capabilities, wefeel out of control. We live in a world of paradoxes, a world that seemsto toss us about by inexplicable forces. Our need for control doesn'tcome from a desire to be one up on others. It is often a desperate at-tempt to manage a situation so we can function with a degree of com-petence. Otherwise, it's so easy to look and feel stupid.

ADD children may not work well in the group setting of a classroombut perform well with a tutor. An ADD adult can have difficulty work-ing as a committee member yet perfrorm admirably as the chairperson.He may stand around the kitchen of a friend preparing a dinner party,unable to figure out how to assist. But he may successfully orchestratea social activity of his own design.

These behaviors can make you feel lazy and bad about ourself. It'simportant to remember that this is another piece of ADD. These con-tradictory behaviors can reflect your genuine inability to reacr quicklyand efficiently ro situations.

The Minuscule Mental Fuel ThnkUnless you happen to be in excellent aerobic health, a frenzied hourlong chase through the park after your escaping Great Dane wouldprobably do you in for the afternoon. If a nap wasn't warrante d, akick

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back, put your feet up and read abook break probably would be. You areexhausted!

This scenario is similar to the daily experiences of an ADDer. Thoughhis body might not dash madly around a park, his thoughts can racearound his head. He is mentally tired. A rapidly working brain expendsmuch energy and quickly uses up its daily allotment.

ADDers tend to process information at a mind boggling pace and burnout just as quickly. An eight hour workday can be torturous for someone

t

whose mental energy and productive times simply don't last longenough. Some have sufficient energy to get through the day but runout of steam when they get home. Families can't believe that the slugin front of the TV could ever be of any use on the job. For years, theyhave never seen him move off his couch!

Many of us think faster and fatigue more quickly than our non-ADD

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peers. Each of us needs to be aware of the impact of cognitive fatigueon our work tempo. Some adults conserve their resources by coastingat work, particularly if their jobs aren't too demanding. This rtr"t.gycan backfire. Without a high level of motivation, the ADDer's jobperfrormance can really suffer. Conversely, the mental fatigue causedby

" demanding job can overload his brain's capacity ro fu:nction well.

The challenge is to conserve his mental energy by working ar his ownpace and rhythm.

Shut Down Susceptibility'What happens when the brain's capacity to process information isexceededT It shuts d.oq,^nl. Many of us live in terror that we'll shutdown at a critical moment and become useless in a crisis.

'We may

freeze in response to loud noises or unexpected events and feel thatwe're in slow motion.

An ADDer's overloaded system can make him so tired he can barelymove, talk or think. It is as if he is in a remporary coma. He experi-ences attempts of communication as assaults on his very being. Heeither ignores the assault or snaps an irritable reply-taking any ac-tion is an impossibility.

An overloaded brain is similar to an overloaded computer sysrem. Ifyou load up the working memory of a computer with excessive data, itmight crash, losing data or the functions of the software. Your programwill be temporarily useless. On a mainframe computer, overload canshut down the entire system. With excessive sensory information, thebrain can also suffer from overload.

Even the most efficient, resilient person can become disorganized undercertain conditions. Recent discoveries in the brains of individualssuffering from Post-Traumnnc Scress Disorder are good examples. Researchof this condition has grown from an interest in the mental health prob-lems of Vietnam era veterans.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder follows a psychological ffauma toevents of war, sexual abuse or natural disaster outside the usual rangeof human experience. The symproms include nightmares, flashbacks,substance abuse and an exaggerated startle response. Previously well

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adjusted people aren't immune to the disorder-the symptoms canoccur in anyone who has experienced severe trauma.

The symptoms often persist years after the traumatic event. Recently,psychobiological researchers have discovered actual biochemical changesin the brains of individuals with post-traumatic stress.zz It appears thatthe massive overload experienced in extreme situations can alter thebrain, perhaps permanently.

Although no one can explain the biochemistry that causes Shut Down,we know from experience that it's troubling for many ADDers. Ofcourse, we aren't the only people who shut down under demandingsituations. The difference is in degree. It takes a fairly low level ofstress for the ADD brain to yell "uncle". And when it happens, it'sdefinitely not fun!

This baffling coma of Shut Down is troubling but essential for ourcontinued well-being. It is as if our brains must stop the onslaught sowe can heal ourselves and renew our depleted reserves of mental

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.19tgy. Rather than fighting it, we need to give in to it and accept theself-imposed rest rime. Our brains musr t..h"rg.. Each of us ha, tofind the best way to facilitate this renewal.

Undependable Memory and Learning SystemsIf you look at a picture of the brain, you won't find an area labelledThe Memop_. Mpmory is a-process rather than an identifiable part ofthe brain. The function of memory is a sysrem with multiple parrsscattered throughour the brain. Some of the differences ADDersexperience are.related to problems with memory. In the followingsection, we will examine the impact of ADD symptoms on thememory process.

The First Step of Memory: Acquisition-The first step in theprocess' acquisition, is closely related to selective attention. Besidespaying attention to incoming information, it involves a preliminarydecision to accept and store it.

As ADDers, many of us feel embarrassed by how much we don'r know.Our selective attention deficits make it difficult to acquire informa-tion that never even finds its way into our memoriesl The positiveside is that an ability to notice things others miss, results in a fascinat-ing and eclectic storehouse of interesting knowledgel

The second s!"p of Memory: Registration-we have to registerinformation before it can becorn" puit of memory. In this seco.rj ,r"pof the memory process, we consciously make an effort to secure theinformation in our memories for subsequenr recall. If we superficiallyregister the data, we'll have difficulty ritrieving it later. Protlems ofarousal or alertness often impair adequate regisiration.

'We may only

partially understand conversations, phone *"rr"g., or directions andjump the gun on new tasks.

coding and rehearsal are two important parts of registration. Everytlme you use a file cabinet, you are using

" ryrt"rnof coding. you

decide whether to file the piece of papei uy r"liecr, writ"r,i .r"*. o1.type of required action. If you recall fiom the discussion of spatialorganization, this is no small task for some ADDers

I

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Registering information involves essentially the same kind of sortingand filing. \7e decide to code, or file incoming information as a visualimage, a word or a sound. For example, we can code the name "TomThumb" in several ways. The code can be a "picture" of Tom the mid.get with an enormous thumb (visual), a word, "finger" (verbal) or asound, "Tom Thumb is a bum" (auditory).

Rehearsal is what children used to do in their one-room schoolhouses-memorizing by reciting their lessons aloud. \7e use rehearsal to prac-tice and repeat information until we anchor it in our memories. To beeffective, rehearsal must be more than rote memorization. It must in-clude elaboration of information. If you have ever memorized a wordlist by singing a silly song you created from the words, you have usedrehearsal elaboration.

Rehearsal is another problem for an ADDer because it's tedious andrequires patience. These are usually not his best qualities! He is crea-tive, though, and can be quite inventive with the sometimes off-the-wall coding methods he designs.

The Third Step of Memory: Storage-The third step involves stor-age of the processed information. There are four storage systems: instantrecall, active working memor! , short-term memory and long-term memory.These storage systems aren't characterized by their size but by theirduration or how long information is stored in each.

Instant recall has the shortest duration. Seeing the flash of lighteningin your mind's eye is an example of instant recall. Touch-typing alsouses this kind of memory. The typist holds the key's location in hismind only long enough to press on it.

Active working memory functions much like the working memoryof a computer. \7hile you work, the words on the screen are held inthe computer's temporary storage. If the power goes out, you lose yourwork forever unless you have saved it to permanent disc storage.

RAM memory capacity varies from one computer to another. If youtry to run memory intensive software, your computer might respond tothe overload with a shutdown and loss of data. If you're lucky, it might

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givg you a a chance to close files or change software by alerting you roits low memory.

Similar to RAM memory your active working memory can shut downif you try t9 overload it. It's too bad your brain doesn't give clearermessages of impending shut-down-maybe something like, ,,This isyou.brain. I am preparing to self-destruct!" Complexiiy of detail seemsto shrink the storage capacity. An ADDer often tur

" remarkably

unreliable temporary memory that regularly loses power and data. Hebegins the first step in solving a complex problem only to lose it as heundertakes the second step. The jigsiw piices keep failing off the tablebefore he can put the whole puzzle tog"ih"r.

Short Term Memory also functions as temporary storage. Its capac-ity is quite limired with a maximum of five seconds or r"rr"r, items(plus or minus two). Its unique limitations make it vulnerable to avariety of interferences. Distractibility wreaks havoc with short rermmemory. It doesn't take more than a brief mind trip for a person rolose data that he wasn't mentally present to register.

An imaginative thinking style can also interfere with short rerm mem-orystorage. Elaboration and association of old and new data is a greatanchor for long term storage. But it can compromise the qualiry of"shortterm storage that requires focus on specific details.

lotg Tery Memory is the permanent, seemingly unlimited store-house of facts, experiences, values, routines, and general knowledge.You can think of it as a huge bank vault that contains numerour of"-deposit boxes. Memories you need to store forever are in a separatebox_deep inside the cavemous vault. The ones you need to rememberwhile you complete your errands are in your safety deposit box rightinside the vault's steel door.

The data in this bank vault is consoh dnted, or translated into a perma-nent code. The code determines which box will srore the information.When you identifu a Honda, Buick and Ford as auromobiles, you areusing consolidation. From experience and leaming, you form associa-tions by elaborating on the characteristics of each car and cross refer-encing them to other vehicles.

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A rich imagination enhances these associations and is an asset forlong term memory storage. Since an ADDer tends to be a conceptual-izer rather than a rote learner, his consolidation skills can be superb.He may possess a wealth of information in his bank vault but routinelyforget where he put his car keys!

Fourth Step of Memory: Access-Access is the process of recallingstored information through recognition or retrieval memory. Recog-nition relies on funiliariry to refresh the memories of superficially leameddata. For example, you use recognition memory to take a multiplechoice test or find your way to a location by noting landmarks alongthe way.

On the other hand, retrieual requires precise, accurate recall on demand.\Uhen you take an essay exam, you have to retrieve information as anaccurate whole. Finding a specific word in your memory banks is ano-ther retrieval task.

Retrieval relies on data you have firmly fixed in memory. To anchordata in memory, you have to use specific strategies. Precise recall isonly as good as the strategies you used to store the information. That'swhy rote recitation is a less effective strategy than memorizing by prin-ciple. Rote learning results in isolated details rather than general ideasand abstractions.

An ADDer's unique abilities and disabilities cause great variability inhis abiliry to access information. Accurate retrieval is a combinationof attention to the details of what he needs to memorize, planned strate-gies for storage and fast information processing.

With an aversion to details, an ADDer tends to approach memorychores in a rapid, superficial and haphazard manner. This compro-mises his ability to develop strategies for registration. His limitedreserves of mental energy impair his ability to maintain sufficient effortto memorize something. As he quickly bums out, he often rushes toget the memory chore finished.

His divergent retrieval is usually much faster and more accurate thanhis convergent retrieval. Remember the dynamics of reaction time?

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An ADD adult functions better when he acts (divergenr rerrieval) onhis own ideas than when he reacts (convergent rerrieval) to a directquestion. He often impresses his friends and himself ( !) with the fluencyof thoughts structured around his knowledge base. Everything is grearuntil someone interrupts with a question or even worse, changeslhesubject. He suddenly feels anxious and annoyed that he has to switchto his faulty convergent rerrieval.

rifth Step of Memory3 Tiansfer-tansfer is a complex process ofrearranging individual pieces of data to form new knowledge. It caninclude combining fragmented pieces into a larger whole. [t can in-clude applying data from one application to another. It can also in-clude generalizations of the common threads between seeminglyunrelated ideas or evenrs.

A precise memory for facts is invaluable in answering quesrions abouta specific subject. It is less valuable in information transfer that dependson associations. For instance, children and adults with mental retar-dation can't transfer skills from one setting to another. They have tolearn skills in each of the semings they will use rhem.

Transfer of knowledge depends on the creative and flexible use of aknowledge base. If data is stored in separately labeled boxes, rransferof knowledge is impossible. Mixing the contents of the boxes or com-bining them in new ways is unthinkablel

An ADDer tends to be a creative, divergenr rhinker with an ability toput.knowledge and ideas together. He resists purring things in boxeswith neat labels. Although this can be a disadvu.ttug" when he needsprecise memory it is a decided advantage for transferring knowledge.He can wander through his safe-deposit boxes, finding information rouse in new and interesting ways. He can apply knowledge and solveproblems in ways undreamed of by more orderly thinkeis.

ADD adults don't have bad memories but their unique sympromscreate gaps in the memory process. Although each of us has a uniquememory profile, we share some fairly consistent patterns. Recognitionmemory is usually good. That's why many of us performed well in

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classroom discussions about the historic implications of world eventsbut failed miserably on tests that required one-word answers.

It makes sense that your memory would be good for a specific subjector task that comes easily to you. But what about that tough physicsclass in high school? Why did you do so well in a difficult subject thatrequired on demanl, memory retrieval? Your teacher might have won-dered the same thing. He might have pointedly used this as evidenceof your ability to do it when you warlted to.

Your teacher was partially correct in his assessment. Your abiliry to excelwas related to motivation but not in the way he thought-your lack ofmotivation wasn't the result of your poor attitude. It was the result ofan ADDer's need for intensely compelling motivation to grab the dys-regulated selective attention. It also had a lot to do with individualteaching styles.

Everyone has his own unique leaming style. The visual leamer leamsby seeing, the auditory leamer by hearing and the kinesthetic leamerby doing/experiencing. If you are a visual leamer and the course inquestion was taught with many char$, diagrams and other visual aids,your brain received the optimal kind of stimuli. Your memory was giv-en just what it needed to function efficiently.

Recognizing individual leaming styles can be very helpful in bypassingweak areas and focusing on strengths. The memory of an ADDer cancompromise his attempts to leam, converse and carry out instructions.Understanding the process goes a long way toward helping him readjusthis self-assessments.

\il7e ADDer's aren't stupid or oppositional. \7e just need to leam andto demonstrate what we've leamed, differently than others do. \7e'11examine these differences in greater depth later in the book.

Impaired Social Skills' Control CenterADD has a profound impact on all areas of life, including social adjust-ment. Symptoms of the disorder can affect interpersonal relationshipsin a variety of ways.

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Some people seem to be bom with social gifts and skills of intuitionthat_they use ro "read" orher people. Perhaps they have highly devel-gPed "Social Skills' Control Centers" in their brainsl \7ith litile effort,they seem to interact admirably in social situations. Many of us withADD, however, really have to work hard at leaming and using socialskills.

\7e leam manners and other forms of social rules in childhood-butsuccessful relationships require more than memorized rules. The rulesare somewhat flexible and can change from situation to situation. Thedevelopment of social skills is more an art than a science because wemust leam to read the ever-changing reactions of orhers. If deficientselective attention gets in the way, an ADDer's perceptions may beflawed by inaccurate or incomplete information.

If we are unsure of the rules in a given situation, we watch other peoplefor clues and gauge their reactions to our behaviors. An inabilitv toprocess information efficiently can result in a failure ro assimilaie theleY rules quickly enough. Combined with impulsivity, this deficit canlead to numerous social mistakes.

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Developing friendships can be difficult for an ADDer whose restless-ness interferes with the process. Building lasting friendships requiresslow, careful planning and nurturing. Many of us simply can't waitaround long enough for this process to take its course. So, we try tospeed it up and cqme on like gangbusters, pushing ourselves intoother's lives.

"l know you said that you would call me, but I figured I'd just dropover and see what you were doing. Yeah, I know it's Z:00 a.m. Yeah, Iknow I already called three times today."

An ADD adult may have brief conversations with many people but beunable to focus long enough on a given relationship to make a connec-tion. It's just too difficult to hang in there for the duration. Intimacy,with its demands for careful attention to another person, ffixy eludehim. He works so hard at following the rules and not looking foolishthat he may have insufficient energy left to focus on someone else.

If you are an ADD adult who has grown up feeling like a social reject,don't despair! It's never too late to develop a social network. You mayhave unrealistic expectations for yoursell believing that you should belike one of the gang onThirty something, with friends dropping in allthe time. It can be healthier for your soul to recognize that this life-style may be unnecessary and undesirable. Using your energy to developone or two positive relationships can be a much better way to go.

Some of the eccentric traits that caused an ADDer's childhood peersto label him "weird" often become admirable ffaits in adulthood. \Ueirdbecomes unique, special or interesting. Creativity, a special talent, asense of humor or an enthusiastic zest can be a social magnet, drawingother people to him.

By this point in your reading, we hope you have a better understandingabout what ADD is and the impact it has had on your life. \7e hopeyou have begun to forgive yourself for the failures and shortcomingsyou may have blamed on your lack of character. \7e hope you knowthat your ADD isn't your fault.

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In the next chapter, we'll look at some additional dynamics of ADD.our focus will be the unproductive ways many of us have leamed tocope with our disorder. Growing up different affects the wav each of usinteracts with our individual worlds and the people in them.

By understandins yggr disorder you've already begun the process ofdismantling your self-defeating assumprions. To continrr" ihi, impor-tant process, you need to consider both the adaptive and maladaptivecoping strategies you've been using to cope with being different. lUiththis-knowledge, you can make decisionr

"borrt your bJhaviors and

modifir those that are getting in the way of your recovery.

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CHaprEn 5

The Not So Fine Artof Coping

"I won't think about that rcday . . .lll think about it tomorrow."

S.url.tt O'Hara used this classic line several times in the movie,

Gone with theWind. She had mastered the art of dealing with theproblems in her life by avoiding them-she put them out of her mind.S.url"tt may have been a fictional character, but she did what allhuman beings do. She developed coping strategie s, defense mechanisms,to defend herself against psychological and emotional harm.

Defense mechanisms are the survival techniques we leam through ourlife experiences. Scarlett leamed to protect herself against feeling guilty

for hei less than admirable behaviors with her, "l'11 put it out my mind"

defense. Defense mechanisms become armors that shield Scarlett and

all of us, from hufts and disappointments.

Because of our differences, we ADDers endure more than our fair shareof disappointments, rejection and feelings of inadequacy. By the time*" r"".h adulthood, many of us have erected elaborate defense systemsto hide our differences or distract others from seeing them. We donttwant to be different and will jump through hoops to fit in and gain

acceptance. So, we build shields to defend ourselves against emotionalharm.

Defense mechanisms can be psychologically beneficial. They can be

adaptive, positive coping mechanisms. They can also be psycholog- -icaliy harntfrl, maladaptive coping mechanisms that undermine growth.

Scariet somerim", ,r"d her Denial defenss-('[f I don't think about the

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problem, it doesn't exist" as an adaptive coping mechanism. lUhen shekilled a man in self-defense, her refusal to think about the devastaringcircumstances enabled her to survive its horror.

Unfortunately, Scarlett overused the defense. She used it not only tosurvive emotional harm but also to insulate herself from ever thinkingabout the possible consequences of her actions. Because she didn'tallow herself to consider the impact of her behavior, she realized too

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late that she was destroying her marriage. Even in the final scene whenRhett Butler leaves with his declaration that their relationship is over,Scarlet refuses to confront reality. Again she invokes her standardrefrain, "l won't think about that now, I'11 think about it tomorrow."The defense mechanisms that ADDers use are sometimes helpful andsometimes harmful, creating more problems than they solve. It's impor-tant for each of us to analyze the maladaptive behaviors that get us introuble. In later sections about recovery, we'Il examine some adaptivecoping strategies we can substitute for the harmful ones.

'We've compiled some character sketches of real people struggling to

cope with their differences. Each uses a maladaptive coping strategy. Ifyou recognize yourself in any of their descriptions, you will alreadyhave taken an important step in your recovery. If you can analyze yourmaladaptive defenses, you can begin to substitute emotionally health-ier ones.

Bad is Better than StupidSusan is 15 years old. Just a few years ago her classmates thought shewas weird. They teased her for being in the "ozone" during class. Shewas puzzled and hurt that no one wanted to befriend her. Now at longlast, she has found a group of kids that embraces her.

Susan and her new friends wear extreme, punk hairstyles and clothing.They have a doomsday mentality. Since they're sure the world is goingto Hell no matter what they do, they think it's useless to work hard atschool or to try to excel at anything. They are smart kids. They usetheir collective intelligence to write nihilistic poetry and make darklyhumorous jokes. They flirt with death as they take drugs and have sexwithout safeguards.

Although the group isn't violent, each of the kids has a hostile, sarcasticand tough manner. Their peers are afraid of them. Sometimes Susan isscared too by the talk of suicide and the use of IV drugs. But at leastshe feels accepted by u group of her peers. The other kids don't daremake fun of her now and she is off the hook as far as school work goes.

Elementary school was always difficult for Susan, but junior high andhlgh school have been nightmares. Many ADDers can empathize withher. She has always felt incompetent, stupid and rejected. Slow and

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awkward in leaming new sports and mastering the art of conversation,she hasn't fared any better in physical prowess or in her social life.

She has leamed one thing very well-adolescents admire kids who arecool and in control. Driven by the adolescent's intense need to fit in,Susan has learned that rebellious behavior is more acceptable than theuncertain fumblings of someone struggling with disabilities. She hasdecided that BeingBad is better than BeingStupid.

Faced with reality as she experiences it, Susan chooses inclusion inthe gang over humiliation and alienation. She has a third choice. Shecan leam new ways of dealing with her differences. She doesn'r considerthis option because she is driven to save face. She's always in troublewith her parents and teachers but is willing ro pay this high price foracceptance.

The defense mechanism Susan has learned is common in adolescence.A defiant and snnart reply to a teacher's questions can get a few laughsand perhaps some admiration from other kids. It's a way to avoid an-swering a question without looking stupid. The stint in detention hallthat follows can be a reasonable price to pay for maintaining one'simage. And anyway, getting plenty of detentions is cool.

TOUGHNESS creates a smoke screen to nasLVULNERABILITY.

If v9u separate Susan and her friends from their group and manage rodig beneath the tough shells, you find troubled, uncerrain kids. Munyvulnerable ADD adolescents continue to wear their shields of tough-ness into adulthood. They usually manage to keep themselves andtheir tough facades within the bounds of society's rules and don'r be-come major league criminals or radicals. A hostile attitude, however,intimidates other people and prevents anyone from getring too close.This defense mechanism does double duty as a cover for pioblems andan insulator from other people. Unfortunately, Susan and her counter-parts may pay a high price, indeed.

The PerfectionistUnlike Susan who protects herself by rebelling againsr sociery's rules,Debra has taken rhe opposite tack. She has decided that being the

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best, regardless of the cost, is the only way to hide her deficits. Debrais a Perfectionist.

She has ADD but those who know her would never believe it. Althoughher poor conduct grades reflected her restlessness, her behavior wasn'tdisruptive enough to cause serious discipline problems in school. Ingeneral, she followed the rules and did what was asked of her. Beforeshe graduated -in the top 3o/o ofher high school class of one thousand-she took part in many extracurricular activities. Everyone counted onher to volunteer for any task that needed to be done.

You might be asking how someone with ADD could function so well.\fell, Debra wasn't really functioning very well despite her carefullyconstructed facade. She rarely slept more than four or five hours eachnight. This had nothing to do with insomnia. She didn't sleep muchbecause she didn't have time-she had to study twice as long as every-body else to leam the material. She regularly "pulled all-nighters" andnever had time to relax or hang out.

Sometimes she desperately longed to get off her treadmill but didn'tdare risk disclosure. If she failed to do everything, her secret would beout. Everyone would know she wasn't normal. The hitch was that Debradidn't have a clue about what "normal" was. She had kept her secretso long that she had inflated ideas about what other people could accom-plish. She thought that if she said "No" ro anyrhing, she would befound-out.

Her inability to say "No" got her into serious trouble in all areas oflife. Beginning in seventh grade, she had sex with any boy who askedand pushed the bad feelings about herself to the back of her mind. Evena pregnancy and an abortion didn't change her sexual behavior. Herimpaired sense of sell distorted by differences she didn't understand,caused her to do anything that would bring acceptance.

Now 32 years old, Debra is married and has a set of twins and a success-ful business. She still works herself to death, compelled rc do it all. kbbecoming increasingly more difficult to do it all with so many conflic-ting demands on her time. Children, husband, volunteer work andclients all vie for her attention. Lately she feels that she's losing con-trol and that at any moment something horrible is going to happen.

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She can't keep all the pieces together anymore.

\fhile Debra may look good to outsiders, she feels terrible inside. Shehas to spend all her energy running and hiding behind her facade ofperfection. Knowing that she has just about pushed herself beyond herlimits, she wonders when she'll totally self-destruct.

There are many Debra's around. It's interesting to speculate the num-bers of super men and women who struggle with disability beneaththeir in control exteriors. Readers who are familiar with codependencymay recognize similar traits in Debra. She's trying to gain control ofher life by taking care of everything and everybody. Recovering codepen-dents could tell her that it doesn't work.

The BlamerSteve never admits he's made a mistake. When he can't find impor-tant papers in the blackhole that constitutes his office, he accuses hissecretary of losing them. He terrorizes his wife, kids and employees byflying off the handle and accusing them when anything goes wrong.

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At 28 years old, Steve is a chronic Blamer.lf food falls out when hejerks the refrigerator door open, he yells at his wife for putting thegroceries away incorrectly. If his kids don't understand his instructions,he blames it on their stupidity or inattention. It's an impossibility thathis instructions were unclear. Enduring his daily accusations and anger,his family begins to believe they are at fault.

Most people who know Steve characterize him as an arrogant SOB.\Uhat they don't realize is that beneath his blustery, aggressive exterioris a scared, rejected kid. Steve is shielding himself against feelings ofinadequacy by shifting the blame to others. This keeps everyone fromlooking too closely at his performance. He's terrified that he'll be ex-posed for the bumbling idiot he really is. Although he's a successfulbusinessman, he still feels like the kid who was regularly ridiculed andpunished. Thpes from the past keep playing in his head, "How couldyou be so stupid! You'll never be worth anything!"

The defense mechanism of Blarning is similar to Being Bad except thatthe blamer fends off people by actively accusing them of stupidity orwrongdoing. The bad person keeps others off balance with anger andhostility but not necessarily with criticism. Blamers can never let any-thing go. To maintain their fragile emotional equilibrium, they musthave a scapegoat to blame for everything that happens. For the blamer,accidents don't exist.

ttWho Cares?ttJim is 30 years old and has worked as a waiter or cab driver most of hisadult life. He is intelligent and well-informed. He loves to engage inlively discussions about current events with his friends and anyoneelse who will listen. He has a good sense of humor about things in gen-eral and himself in particular. At his legendary high school graduation(his friends were amazed he ever managed to graduate), he joined inthe laughter as his buddies carried him down the aisle on their shoulders.

People enjoy being around Jim because he's likable and easy going.Nothing seems to bother him, even when bosses and coworkers askhim to work unpopular or extra hours. They know he won't complain.

Jim makes excuses for the people who do him wrong or maintains that

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the things they do don't bother him. He professes to be content withhis life the way it is. Secretly he feels bad that he didn't go to collegeas his brothers and sisters did. He isn't at peace with himself and hasmany physical symptoms to prove it: tension headaches, high bloodpressure and an ulcer that regularly flairs up.

Jim feels that he's a failure and masks his feelings of inadequacy withhis \X/ho Cares persona. His wide circle of friends and broad knowledgebase don't make up for his academic shortcomings. The defense mech-anism he uses to protect himself is similar to Susan's. Borrowing fromthe fox in the sour grapes' fable, both pretend that things out of reacharen't worthwhile, anyway. Susan's arrogance and Jim's indifferenceare shields of armor to prevent anyone from seeing their disabilites.

Jane presents a slightly different version of the Who Cares defense.Jane, a 47 year old mother of two, is intelligent and creative and hasimpressive artistic talents. Despite her gifts, Jane's ADD made school amonumental struggle. It took twice the customary time for her to com-plete college. Before choosing to stay home with her children, she hadalways held jobs well below her educational level.

Jane is outspoken about the excessive competition and materialism intoday's society. She is proud of her skill at budgeting money and hasleamed to live without the many consumer goods others consider neces-sities. She doesn't own a VCR or clothes' dryer.

Jane's wise use of resources enables her to devote time to her familyand have enough left over to pursue her own interests. Her choice ofsaying "No" to the rat race to live by her own values, is admirable. Theproblem is, Jane isn't entirely comfortable with her decision. She "Dothprotest too much" when she scoffs at academic and career achievement.There is a distinctively angry defensive edge to her voice when sherationalizes her life choices. She spends much time explaining herself.

Jim's indifference is passive and Jane's is assertive, but both are care-fully designed masks. Jane doesn't feel successful. She uses so muchenergy on defense that she can't accept herself or honestly evaluateher choices. Perhaps beneath the bristly Wha Cares defense is a realdesire to accomplish some of the things she rejects. Perhaps the choices

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she has made are right for her. Regrettably, she works so hard atprotecting her fragile ego rhat she has little energy left for livingthe life she has chosen.

Ji-, on the other hand, can't realistically assess himself because heworks so hard at prerending norhing bothers him. His "what mew_orry" attitude masks his real feelings that probably include anger.He is a-ngry at himself for his shortcomings and at the people whotake advantage of him. His armor protects him but also pr"u.rrt,him from grappling with ambitions he's never been able^to admit.If he's ever able to let his guard down, he'll need to confront his?ng_er: If he can leam to deal with his feelings up front, he may evenfind that his physical health improves.

Manipulation

T.dd is 47 y€ars old and is restless, arrracrive and charming. Hefrequently changes relationships, living arrangemenrs and iobs. Heuses his disarming, boyish manner as a powerful lure to hook othersinto willingly taking care of him. He never pulls his weight at work,relying instead on his masrery of manipulation ro ger oth"r, to dothe work for him.

Faced with a tedious or difficult task, Todd flatters and cajoles othersinto bailing him out. Sometimes he acts helpless, getting coworkers19 do his 1ob under the guise of teaching him. He says somethinglike, "l never was any good at that. I really admire people .uho cindo it." Sometimes he tells a tale of woe about his bbss piting workon him or about emergencies in his life. His manipulaiive beharr-ior usually works and someone steps in to bail him out. As soon ashe feels restless or coworkers ger on to him, he simply changes jobs.

Fdd usually makes decent money bur regularly ends up flat brokebecause he's careless and impulsive with hir rp"nding. To deal withhis financial difficuhies, he relies on the women in his life to sup-port him. His women do more than simply contribure ro his finan-cial support. They are also charged with keeping him out of trouble.They keep track of his checkbook and his ho.riehold and socialresponsibilities. Todd manipulates them by using guilt, charm, sexappeal-whatever maneuver will work in a given situation.

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Often he manipulates his current woman into keeping him togetherenough to hold down his 1ob. She gets him up in the moming, monitorshis performance and smooths things over with the boss when Toddmesses up. More often than not, he ends the relationship when hefeels too constrained by the "mothering". His behavior sounds a lotlike an alcoholic's but he doesn't drink. He has just leamed to manip-ulate like someone who does.

Todd might seem like a ruthless, unfeeling user who will stop at nothingto ensure that his needs are met. He isn't pure villain, however. He'san ADD adult who has learned to use Manipulation as a cover for hisunderlying problems.

He lives in a constant state of emergency, running scared all the time.He knows he regularly makes mistakes but feels helpless to preventthem. So he survives by using other people to cover for him. It's theonly way he knows to survive although he's aware that it's unacceptablefor a grown man to be cared for this way.

Todd simply hasn't figured out an altemative method for satisfying hisneeds. His manipulations are neither conscious nor premeditated. Hedoesn't connect his actions with their impact on others. His impulsivityand lack of attention to detail make him unaware of much of his behav-ior and its consequences.

Webster defines manipulating as "controlling or playing on othersusing unfair means". Manipulation may be a dirty word but everyoneuses it on occasion. Although we may not like being manipulated aspuppets on a string, we may need to occasionally use this defense as amatter of survival.

ADD adults in particular can become masters of the art of manipula-tion. It's a tough, competitive world out there with dire consequencesfor those who sink to the bottom of the heap. Many of the newly home-less are hardworking folk who slid over the line into poverty followinga setback such as unemployment or illness. If someone starts out in lifewith a physical handicap, learning disability or ADD, the stakes arehigher and riskier. There is a great temptation to use any availablemeans to improve one's odds of survival.

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This isn't to say that the majority of people with disabilities becomemanipulative. Most are rather heroic in their striving to achieve. Theyqelgrall-v 9op9 by learning to work harder than non-dirabled people.ADD adults, however, have additional risk factors that increase iheodds of their becoming masrers of manipulation.

WithdrawalBarb is both unattached and detached. Twenty-five years old, she liveswith her parents and works as a file clerk. She has rarely dated, has noclose friends and spends most of her free time watching TV. Occasion-ally she goes out to dinner with a coworker but that's th. .*t"nt of hersocial life. She spends her vacations tagging along with her parents.Although Barb has an above average IQ, she is a marginal wbrker onthe job. She makes many mistakes and has trouble keeping up withher colleagues.

Barb is different from most of the ADDers you've mer in this chapter.She isn't anxious about her performance and doesn't worry abo,rihe,less than glowing appraisals. After a childhood of academic and socialfailures, she has decided that giving up is the safesr thing she can do.She has chosen to accept her mediocrity. The price she pays is a life ofboredom, loneliness and depression. Barb is free from thl risks shewould face if she decided to live her life fully. But is it worth it?

Similar to many ADD adults, Barb's handicap has never been identified.She is neither hyperactive nor impulsive. Everyone has always toldher that she is lethargic and spacey. Barb believes this characrerization.She has chosen survival through Withdrawal.

This defense is a cousin to the \XAo Cares srance but operates slightlydifferently. Barb has given up completely and has carefully buried herfeelings and doubts. She never gives any thought to the possibility thather life could be different. Jim, on the other hand, maintains naggingdoubts about his abilities and lack of achievement. On some le""l, h"continues to think about these issues that trouble him.

Insulated from pain by suppressing feelings of inadequacy, Barb can'rmake a thoughtful decision about her life. The Barbis of this worldhaven't made peace with themselvgs-i1's as if rhev're buried alive.

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Chip on the ShoulderWhile Barb quietly withdraws, Paula aggressively poises for full-scalebattle every moment of her life. She's only 19, but has developed anespecially prickly suit of armor. When her husband asks if she has takenout the trash, she reacts defensively. She offers a long-winded explan-ation of why she hasn't been able to get around to the chore yet. Asshe becomes increasingly angry and indignant, she switches to theoffensive, attacking her husband for overworking her with his demands.

Paula's husband asked about the trash only because he was going out-side and wanted to take it with him if it was still in the house. Hewearily retreats from the house, wondering how his good intentionsended up in this ugly scene. Paula retreats to nurse her anger at a worldthat is always dissatisfied with her efforts.

Paula is a selfish shrew, making her saintly husband's life miserable.She has a colossal Chip on the Shoulder, responding to innocent com-ments with a barrage of defensive excuses and explanations. At leastthis is the way she acts. But appearances aren't always what they seem.

Paula is an ADD adult who spent much of her childhood rebuked forthings she forgot to do or didn't finish. Her soul is raw from all thetimes she worked her heart out only to be chastised for the one thingshe didn't do. Her life has been filled with false accusations of thought-lessness and laziness that no one knew were symptoms of her subtledisability. She ruminates about the injustices in her life and the unfair-ness of it all.

Paula's Chip on The Shoulder is a protective suit of armor designed toshore up her sense of self. She continually defends herself as a matterof reflex even when she isn't being attacked. The intensity of her defen-sive stance may be out of proportion to the imagined slight but her lifeexperiences have taught her to expect criticism. She can never let downher defenses. She has to be ready for the next assault on her being.

Paula's defense serves another purpose. It inoculates her against requestsfor her time or energy. With deficits that interfere with an organizedlifestyle, she frantically tries to keep up with demands that are some-times overwhelming. Her prickly shell fends off at least some of the

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extra demands as it makes people rhink twice about approaching herwith questions or requests for her involvement.

There isn't anything inherently bad about emotional self.defense inthe face of real injustice. In Paula's case, however, her knee-jerk defen-siveness is the maladaptive suit she wears every moment of her life.She has suffered so many wounds that she can't differentiate betweenreal and imagined assaul$. She focuses exclusively on protection, neverallowing herself to find the strengths that would lead to positive growrh.

Thke Me or Leave MeYou probably know highly effective people whose self.confidence youadmire. They are self-assured and comfortable with themselves. Theyassume a healthy attitude of "'!7har you see is what you ger-I'm okayand have nothing to hide." Th"y use rhis posrure in a positive way. Th.yare unlikely, for example, to waste time on relationships that probablywouldn't work anyway.

Pete is aTal<eMe or Leaqre Me man in his mid-'30's. He is attractiveand affable, drawing people to him with his sense of humor and gift ofgab. He comes across as honest, straightforward and comfortable-withhis limitations. He sincerely apologizes when he misses an imporrantdeadline at work or forgets to attend his daughter's school pluy. Petedisarms most people by being the first to admit his weaknesses. He fre.quently makes himself the butt of his own jokes.

"'What you see is what you get" Pete, has chosen a positive copingmechanism. . .Or has he? What makes Pete different from the self-confident people we described? The difference is that Pete's Take Me OrLeave Me attitude is a carefully fabricated facade behind which he hides.

He is a grown-up class clown who "keeps' em laughing" so no one willnotice the things he can't do. He uses his excellent sense of humor tocreate a smoke screen to hide difficulties and deflect criticism. \7ould-be critics find the wind taken out of their sails when Pete beats themto the punch by making a joke about his failings. He leaves them withnothing ro say.

It's healthy to take ourselves less seriously. Pete, however, does it to

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excess. Though he readily admits his weaknesses, he never does any-thing about them! He retreats behind his self-deprecating facade in-stead of honestly studying his behavior.

He's busy hiding and is unaware of the increasing frustration and angerof his friends. They continue to forgive his failings but are beginningto have nagging feelings that somethingis rotteninDenmark. Pete'sbasically a "good guy", but he's totally undependable. He isn't doinganything to improve himself. His mistakes are getting less funny andhis refusal to take anything seriously is causing increasing resentment.

Pete's coping mechanism does protect him, but it's maladaptive. It pre-vents the introspection he needs to make positive changes in his life.

It Ain't SoDonna's family of five lurches from crisis to crisis. She always attributesher family's problems to extemal events and people. Euerythingwillbefine when the excitement of Christmas is oqter or when one of the kids gets anew teacher. She spends much of her time waiting for things to returnto normal, but they never do.

Donna is 34 years old and has given up a professional career to stay homewith her three children who are all hyperactive and disobedient. Donnais gentle and spacey, rarely raising her voice to her children or asser-ting herself with other adults. She works hard at a difficult parentingjob but her children continue to be unruly, and her household remainsnoisy and disordered. \fhen a crisis erupts, she consults with profes-sionals but promptly disregards their advice. She denies that a realproblem exists.

Several years ago Donna was diagnosed with ADD. Her physician pre-scribed Ritalin and she took it for a short while. She explains that shestopped taking the medicine because it interfered with her sleep butshe never bothered telling her doctor about the side effect.

It's obvious to anyone who knows Donna that her ADD has a bigimpact on the problems she experiences. The chaos created by herunruly children overwhelms her. Her deficits make it nearly impos-sible to provide the firm discipline and structure her children need so

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desperately. She continues to delude herself into thinking she can manageeverything by herself.

Donna avoids her problems the way Scarlett O'Hara avoided hers. Shechooses to deny they exist. Denial is an integral part of grief when aloved one dies. It provides time for mobilizing srrengrh ro cope withthe realization of the loss. Denial is a healthy, essential srep thar leadsto ultimate acceptance.

The end of a relationship or a job, the loss of a body part or an altera-tion in self.image can also set the grief process in motion. Donna isgrieving the loss of aperfect,healthy self , replaced with the label ofADD. She has always known that something was wrong but hasn'tfound comfort in her diagnosis. Similar to a widow who keeps her longdeceased spouse's belongings as if he were still alive, Donna is stuck indenial. Because she can't acknowledge her limitations she can'r movebeyond them toward a stage of acceptance.

Donna uses her It Ain't So defense to run frantically in circles, tryingto avoid facing herself. Unable to own her ADD, she conrinues toattribute her problems to something or somebody else. She refuses rotake needed medication or avail herself of professional hetp. She ex-pends considerable energy rrying to keep everything togerher. Hermisguided efforts, however, don't yield results. If she can ever face hersituation realistically, she'll be able to use her creative mind to findsolutions.

Learned HelplessnessTiacy is a modern day Prissy, the flaky servant girl in the movie GoneWith theWind who didn't "know nothin' 'bour birthin' babies'l Plavedby Butterfly McQueen, Prissy affected a simple-minded air that helpedher avoid responsibilities.

In the era of slavery this defense was both clever and appropriate. "Sru-pid like a fox" Prissy used her helplessness as a mechanism for controlwithout risking the severe consequences of outright rebellion. Tiacyhas leamed that helplessness works as effectively for her as it did forPrissy. Approaching her fiftieth birthday, she has spenr years leamingto play the role ro rhe hilt.

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Tlacy never worries about failure. Similar to the manipulator, she avoidsher responsibilities at work and in her social life by getting others todo everything for her. She smiles charmingly as she appeals to othersfor help. Her method differs from Todd's. She openly uses helplessnessas her ploy. She flatters and boosts the egos of her rescuers, contrastingher poor, dumb little me act with their competence.

Women have been frequently characterized as incompetent and help-less.

'We aren't trying to perpetuate an unfortunate stereotype by cast-

ing Tracy in her maladaptive feminine role. Her helplessness is a copingstrategy used by many members of oppressed groups such as minoritiesand women. If you are otherwise powerless as Prissy was, you can usehelplessness to survive and exercise some control. Few men use thiscoping strategy because playing helpless isn't an acceptable male rolein our society. Men can't get away with it!

Although Tracy is bright and personable, her ADD has always madeher feel unable to cope with the realities of her life. LearnedHelpless-ness makes her life easier to handle. She manages to remain unstressed,but also unchallenged. Tracy needs help in affirming her abilities soshe can feel comfortable enough to risk failure and find success.

ControllingYou probably know Jack or someone similar. At 56 years old, he livesby the adage, "He who has the gold, rules". He establishes himself asthe undisputed ruler of his kingdoms at home and at work. He hasused his intelligence, creativity and high energy level to rise to a highpowered position in a large corporation. Jack has aggressively and re-lentlessly climbed high on the ladder of success. He seems to have usedthe symptoms of his ADD to his advantage and should be congratu-lated for his efforts. . .Or should he?

Jack measures his success against extemal rewards of financial gain.Unfortunately, he has orchestrated his success through his dominationof the people in his life. He monopolizes conversations and insists onhaving the last word. He makes all decisions at home and on the job.He regards his beautiful wife as an eamed bonus and trea$ her as asubject in his kingdom. At work he always sets the agenda at meetingseven when it isn't his responsibility. If someone else chairs a meeting,he subtly undermines the agenda, steering it in a direction that suitshis needs.

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He makes unilateral decisions, often incurring the wrarh of his peersfor his failure to consult with them. His resentful colleagues u.d

"--ployees are ready to lynch him. His wife is fed up and is thinking aboutleaving him. He has made an impressive array of enemies who wouldlike nothing more than to overthrow the king.

Just as Tracy seems the stereotyped helpless woman, Jack representsthe stereotyped domineering, aggressive and controlli.rg *"n. Certainlythere are women who operare in similar fashion to Ja&. Usually theyare toppled more quickly. In general, controlling behavior in femalesisn't accepted any more than helplessness is in men.

One could argue that "The way Jack is, is the way he is; he's just a con-trolling kind of guy." k's true that men and women with ADD may beaggressive and bossy by temperament. Controlling behavior like Jack's,however, can be more than an expression of one's nature. It can t"

"learned defense mechanism that becomes a hiding place from deficits.

1 rt o

L/

III,

II

I

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\Uhile it isn't readily apparent from his behavior, K,ttg Jack lives inperpetual terror of looking stupid. At home, he controls his family'sagenda to avoid the risk that his wife will choose an activity that willexpose his weaknesses. At work, he commanls all discussions becausehe knows he's only effective when he follows his own train of thought.By not letting anyone else contribute, he avoids the confusion andembarrassment he feels when questions and comments derail him.

Jack's Controlling defense mechanism may backfire. One false moveand he may maneuver himself out of a job and a family.

Character Sketches of Folk You May Know

The ADDers you've met use acquired defense mechanisms to protectthemselves from public exposure of their deficits.

'We've examined the

rationale for their choices and the ways in which their coping strate-gies are maladaptive.

Human behavior is too complex to explain within the context of de-fense mechanisms alone. Beneath the defenses are the individual char-acteristics we are bom with. Maladaptive ADD behaviors are a com-bination of various leamed defensive maneuvers and specific deficits.

In the next section, we'll look more closely at behavioral manifestationsof specific deficits. These vignettes aren't condemnations of ADDers-we get plenty of theml Rather, we have designed them to illustrate whatcan happen if ADD symptoms flourish without control or intervention.

The Peter Pan Syndrome3 48 Going on 12You may be familiar with thePeter PanSyndrome, popularized in abook on the subject.'3 People in our society normally experience someregret at leaving childhood and taking on adult responsibilities. Mostof us, however, manage to bite the bullet and make the transition intoadulthood. Chris ts a Peter Pan who has decided that growing up issimply not worth it.

As Chris approaches his forty-ninth birthday, he continues to live in astate of perpetual childhood. He has a personality that attracts people.Energetic optimism, a wacky sense of humor and a warm acceptanceof others make the people around him feel good.

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He afways has more invitations rhan he can accepr. The ease withwhich he connects with people promises an intimacy that never materi-alizes. After an initial period of an intense connection, would-be loversand close friends find him an elusive man, impossible to pin down. Herefuses to make plans, preferring to live from moment to moment. Thenotion of commitment to goals or a relationship is incomprehensibleto Chris. He just wants to have fun and is mystified whenother peoplefeel betrayed by his broken promises

He disappoints bosses and coworkers as well as friends. His high energylevel and intelligence generate expectations for superior job perfo r.mance. After an initial burst of energy, Chris typically becomes boredwith a project and loses motivation. His work becomes sloppy andcareless. !7hen-a job becomes boring or a boss begins pr"r*.i.tg himto get serious, Chris switches to another one.

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Lovers get similar treatment. \il/hen they begin to make demands for amore committed relationship, they find that Chris has moved on. Thewomen hurt by his "love 'em and leave 'em" lifestyle feel used andabused. Chris believes, however, that he's just operaring under a dif-ferent set of rules. He lives according to the pleasure principle and itsprimary goal of maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain.

All of us operate on the pleasure principle to a certain extent. \7henwe're bom, we're virtual bundles of wants and needs without any senseof people outside ourselves. As we grow and are socialized bV familyand society, we gain awareness of our responsibilities to others. Thepsychologically healthy adult leams to strike a balance between herneeds and the needs of the people in her world.

Chris is an adult by virtue of his chronological age but he hasn't devel-oped psychologically or emotionally beyond a child of t7. Similar toPeter Pan, he just don't wanna grow up.

People with ADD often have many childlike qualities. A lifelong senseof playfulness and an ability to take risks are delightful qualities. But ifwe allow our essential nature to have free rein, we can begin to resembleChris.

'!7e can drift mindlessly through life, heedless of our responsi-

bilities and our impact on other people.

The Space CadetIt isn't uncommon for ADD adults to say they are spacey. \Uhen themental fog descends, they can become disoriented and forgetful. Someof us, however, settle too comfortably into waking dream states, be-coming lifers in the Acadnmy for Space CaABts!

Sean is 37 years old and has joined the academy. He is a gentle soulwith a fanciful imagination and a gift for poetry. He spends his daysdaydreaming, writing, and having long philosophical conversationswith his cronies. Sean takes little notice of practicalities. He earnsmeager wages as a writer but doesn't worry because material thingsare of no consequence to him.

He does his own thing, oblivious to the world around him. \Uhen hewas single, his lifestyle wasn't a problem. But now he's married and has

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four children. Sean's wife is exhausted and at her wit's end trying tocope single-handedly with the large family. Sean is always pleasantand soft spoken with his spouse and children. He tries to do whareverthey ask of him-that is, when they manage to caprure his arrenrion!

Sadly, Sean makes little effiort to rune in to the world around him.Unless someone demands his attention, he's conrent to spend timedrifting on his own mental clouds. He never ser our to dump all theresponsibility in his wife's lap but that's effectively what has happened.He plays with the kids when he wakes up long enough ro norice rhembut his wife rarely leaves him alone with them. She's terrified that thetoddler would poison herself right under her daddy's less than watchfuleye. Sean isn't callously allowing his wife to work iik.

" dog while he

sits and daydreams. He doesn't euen notice. The varied duties and detailsof family life totally escape him.

Sean may not be a manipulative user but he certainly isn't off the hook.It's okay to retreat to a dream world when you have only yourself toconsider. It's a different story entirely when you're responsible for afamily and the welfare of young children. Even though Sean's ADDcan't be cured, he could work harder to shoulder his responsibilities.Right now he's too comfortable in the fog that obscures things heshould worry about.

The Party AnimalThe Party Anima| lives for the weekend, enduring the work week thatpays for her fun. She reluctantly controls her impulsive and hedonistictendencies enough to eam a living, but lets them run amok after hours.Some adults with ADD don'r even rry ro curb their impulsivity. Theycut loose whenever they can, short of getting into big trouble.

You may know Ginny. She is an ADD adult in her late '20's who worksfull time at a secretarial job she absolutely hates. She doesn'r do any-thing about changing her work situation, however, because she thinksall lobs are probably equally boring. At work she spends as much timeas she can get away with, chatting on rhe phone with friends, doingher nails and dreaming about winning the lottery.

She wears a bored expression and frequenrly yawns when people talk

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to her. She bides her time, counting off the days until the gloriousTGIF! On Fridays, as the hands on the clock point to 5:00 p.ffi., Ginnytums into someone you wouldn't even recognize.

Her routine follows the same pattem every week. First, she hits severalHaPPy Hours with a group of partying friends. She gets more than alittle smashed as she flirts her way around the room, making only briefcontacts with individual men. After the happy hour, Ginny and herfriends go out dancing and usually close the place down.

She spends a good chunk of her paycheck on clothes and most of herfree time on shopping and scoping out the latest dances and fads. Des-pite her talent for tracking current fashions, she hasn't apparently heardabout safe sex or the joys of sobriety.

Ginny has never had trouble finding other Party Animnls. She has agreat sense of fun and enough energy to get any party off the ground.Her weekend is an endless round of sex, drugs, dancing and anythingelse that seems to be fun. Lately, however, Ginny has been feeling alittle uneasy about her lifestyle-one of her friends recently tested pos.itive for the HIV virus. Her partying crowd seems to be getting youngerand younger. Friends her own age are settling down to career goals andfamilies.

Nonstop partying is a lifestyle that begins to look pathetic as the yearsgo by and the expected settling down never happens. It isn't only emprybut downright dangerous in this age of deadly diseases and rampantdrug problems.

Ginny may be singrng "The Party's Over", sooner than she thinks. . .

Emotional IncontinenceThis behavior doesn't have anything to do with bodily functions!Rathet it is rampant, uncontrolled emotional output. As ADDers, wehave a hard time modulating our erratic moods. Staying reasonablycalm can be a full time job! Unless we want other people to write usoff as immature or crazyr we have to expend the effort.

At 27 years old, Jeff has a serious case of Emononal Inconnnence. He

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doesn't make any effort to control his extreme ups and downs. Theatmosphere in his house is always rhick with the fallour from his latestmood. His family rides the roller coaster along with him, coweringfrom his rages, sinking into gloom or becoming infected with unreason.able giddiness. The members of his household feel exhausted and tense.They deplete their energy reserves as they try to cope with his mood-iness. He has lost more than one job because of his temper and is closeto losing his second wife, as well.

Sadly, in social situations beyond his home, Jeff doesn't have any impactat all. Other people size him up quickly and decide not ro take himseriously. They view his rages as the pathetic tantmms of a young child.They ignore his great ideas because he always expresses them in anembarrassing outpouring of enthusiasm. They ffeat him as a child wholacks restraint. Acquaintances pat him on the head as they quicklydismiss him.

In Jeff's case, more is definitely less. Emotional expression has greaterimpact as it becomes more inlsn5g-but only to a point! Drama canquickly deteriorate into melodrama, evoking laughter rather than em.pathy. People like Jeff who don't control their emotional output runthe risk of becoming caricatures of themselves.

The BlabberM"ry is Jeff's close relative. She also has a bad case of incontinencebut hers is Verbal Inconnnence. Although her official title is "Managerof Order Processing", her colleagues have dubbed her TyphoidMary,Rrnnor DistnbutionMannger. They can count on hearing the latest of-fice dirt from Mary who has assumed responsibility for broadcastingeveryone's confidential information.

!7ith her warmth, good listening skills and grandmotherly manner, 60year old Mary easily made friends with coworkers. Her new friends,however, quickly learned to keep their distance when they discoveredthat M"ry talked as much as she listened! Now, everyone fears theeffects of her loose tongue.

She isn't a vicious back-stabber. She truly cares about her colleaguesand wants to lend a listening ear when they have problems. But she

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fails to reflect on the confidentiality of shared information and indis-criminately and inappropriately distribwes rumors .

The angry reactions that greet her news continually surprise her. Sinceshe has no qualms about sharing her own deepest secrers with totalstrangers, she can't understand why others are upset when she sharestheir secrets. To Mary the human race is just one big huppy family andfamilies don't keep secrers from each orher, do thevf

The BulldozerA bulldozer is a well-designed piece of machinery. In short order, it cantransform an acre of tree-covered land to a flattened, barren landscape.In similar fashion, some ADDers bulld"oze their way through their li,res,leaving little untouched or unharmed. This is Richard's ,ivl" and ithas left him with an empty life.

Richard's mother says he was born with a will of iron and a voice thatcould shatter glass with a whisper. From his earliesr days, he maderyeryone in the household dance to rhe tune of his angry cries.Throughout childhood, he went directly for anything he wanted andshoved anybody aside who gor in his way. Now that he's a 43 year oldadult, he seems ruthless and cold as he continues to bulldoze his wayover other people's feelings. He is successful in business but lives in alonely world. He doesn't understand why people seem to avoid him.

Richard really doesn't get it at all. He's oblivious to rhe impact of hisforceful nature and is honestly puzzled when orhers keep him at arm'slength. At h9 pushes his way through life, he's aware o.tly of his goalsand takes little notice of the people he shoves aside ro reach their.

Please remember. that the negatives of ADD comprise only one dimen-sion of the disorder. ADDers come in an usort*"rrt of packages. Thereare differences in specific symproms and in the ways each ofirs man-ages these differences. Many of us do an amazingly wonderful lob ofcoping with symptoms of the ADD we neve.

",r"., knew we had!

Lacking an understanding of their deficits, many ADDers feel com-pelled to spend inordinare time and energy trying ro pass as normal.

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This is a term we've borrowed from Afro-American history. With along history of discrimination in this country, it isn't surprising thatsome lighter skinned Blacks managed their lives by pretending theywere white.

In similar fashion, many of us with ADD can pass as normal (whatevernormal means). !7e work hard at hiding our differences. We can iden-tify with the adults in this chapter who have been somewhat success-ful in their efforts but who have paid dearly for fitting in.

We spend ow hiues in fear,feelinglike impostors who willbe found" out at any moment.

A recurring theme throughout the vignettes is the importance ofsquarely facing one's behaviors and honestly evaluating them. Many ofus, along with the people in our lives, have spent lifetimes wonderingwhy we do the things we do. \7e have never considered our behaviorsas symptoms and haven't analyzed our coping strategies as defensemechanisms developed to hide inadequacy. Lacking knowledge aboutthe role ADD plays in our lives, we resign ourselves to the "truth" ofthe assumptions made about us-we are indeed lazy, stupid or crazy!

If a parent or teacher suspected a problem, she usually attributed it topoor motivation or a dysfunctional family. Even when a diagnosis ofhyperactivity was made in childhood, the prescription was for Ritalinand patience. "Thke this pill twice a day, Monday through Friday duringthe school year, and wait until you outgrow your hyperactivity in adoles-cence." Some of us have been waiting a very long time for this mirac-ulous change to occur!

The fact is, many of our readers have never been evaluated at all.Although there isn't anything magical about a diagnosis, it is a vital,initial step in changing faulty self-perceptions. Even if you feel fairlycertain that you have ADD, you owe it to yourself to have a completeevaluation.

In the next chapter we'll look at the process of a diagnostic evaluationand share information that can help you make some decisions aboutaccessing this help. As you may guess, the diagnostic evaluation of

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ADD adults is less well defined than that of children. So, you'll needto proceed with caution in finding the professional you'll work with inthis important part of your recovery.

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Crteprgn 6

I KNOW...I THINK...I HAUE ADDWHAT DO I DO NOW?

Tn. diagnosis and treatment of a garden variety illness is fairly straight-forward. A throat culture uncovers a strep infection and the patienttakes a round of antibiotics and goes on his way. A few days later hefeels great. He has come to expect that powerful antibiotics will quicklyand easily fix his illness. He views his medical care as a relatively simpleprocess:

S y mp to m s-me di c aI t e s t s-diagno s i s- tr e atment-C UR E J

The process of uncovering ADD is considerably more complicated.Often, the process never even begins because the symptoms are behav-ioral, not physical. Many people view behavior as the cause, not thesymptom of disorder. It usually goes something like this:

B ehavi or s-f aulty as swnp nons-blnme-pwti shment-POOR PROGNOSISJ

For many, if not most of us, the initial discovery of ADD doesn't comefrom a professional. It comes from reading an ADDer's life story thatcould be our autobiography. It comes from talking with a friend whosedescription of his ADD sounds remarkably similar to our own behaviors.It comes when our children, who are "chips off the old block", arediagnosed with ADD.

Adults in support groups talk of learning about their ADD in all theseways. Most of these adults say they waited a while before seeking pro-fessional help to confirm their self-diagnoses. They used this time to

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read about ADD and to examine their lives to see if the informationfit their experiences. Unable to find much informarion about ADD inadults, many resorted to reading the predominantly child orientedliterature.

Your Job as a Mental Health ConsumerIf you are beginning a similar process of self-discovery your first respon-sibiliry is to thoroughly educate yourself about this disorder. Part of vl,r,self-education should include leaming about the professional resourcesin your community. lfhen you're ready to proceed with an evaluation,you shouldn't 4t yory firys9rt dD tlv walkingthlough the yellow pages ofthe phone book to find the servi."r yor'rlll needl

'We recommend that you conracr the nearest chapter of an ADD sup-

Pgrt group. The gloyp can give you a list of ADD informed profession-als in your area. Make sure that you ask for names of professionals whoare competent in diagnosing and treating adults. Also ask your localorganization to put you in touch with other ADD adults who can tellyou about their experiences with professionals on the referral list. Youmay be fortunate to locate an ADD adult support group that can be aninvaluable, informal referral network. For help in locating a group inyour area, refer to the resource list in the appendix.

Remember that you are the customer and a consumer of mental healthservices. To be an informed consumer, you need to do your homeworkbefore you make ygul first appointment. You need to proceed carefullybecause many good therapists have little knowledg.

"to.rt ADD.

\fhen you. first meer with the mental health professional you havechosen, ask as many questions as you want. Ifyou aren't comfortablewith him after your initial meeting, don't hesitate ro go on to the nextprofessional on your list. Your mental health is too important to entrustto someone you don't think understands your issues.

After the evaluation is completed, be sure to request a follow-up ap-pointment to discuss the results of your testing. If you don'r speiificallyask, the professional may just send a highly t".h.ti."l report ro you oryour psychiatrist.

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Psychologist or Psychiatrist What's the Difference?

If you have had limited experience with the mental health profession,you may find a confusing array of titles:

Ph.D., Psy.D., Ed.D., M.D.Clinical Psychologist, Neuropsychologist, Psychologist, Educational

Psychologist, Cognitive Psychologist, Neurologist, Psychiatrist

It really isn't quite as confusing as it appears! But a brief clarificationof the role of these various professionals may be in order. The specialtiesfall into two broad categories: psyEhologists and physicians. Althoughsome physicians (psychiatrists) have expertise in testing, the diagnosticevaluation is usually done by u psychologist. This professional will befrom the field of Clinical Psychology, Neuropsychology, Educationalor Cognitive Psychology. A neurologist who is a medical doctor, solrle-times does the evaluation. A neurological evaluation, however, is us-ually unnecessary except in cases of a seizure disorder or other specificneurological problems.

After the diagnosis, your mental health professional will make recom-mendations about treatment options and may refer you to someoneelse. You can choose any ADD informed professional for subsequentnon-medical treatment but you must consult with a psychiatrist (Mn1for drug treatment. The psychiatrist will prescribe and monitor medi-cation in concert with your psychologist or as part of his own overalltreatment plan for you.

The Diagnostic EvaluationParents sometimes ask how they should prepare their children for themedical tests that will be part of the diagnostic process-the bloodtests and brain scans. This is a reasonable question since these testingprocedures are often part of a medical diagnosis. Although blood testsaren't included, extensive neurological work-ups are sometimes usedwith ADD children. In general, this won't be included in the diag-nostic evaluation of a suspected attention deficit disorder in an adult.

If you haven't gone through the evaluation process yet, you may also bewondering what to expect during the testing. After all, the very thoughtof tests mav strike terror in vour heart!

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. v 2 rv2r ' I

Tests-aren't those the things we always failedlt

Well, you may "fail" some of these too, but that's okay. The tests willbe used for the right reasons-for knowledge and discovery of yourstrengths and weaknesses. You won't have to cram for these tests andwe can't even tell you exactly which ones to expect. Each psychologistuses a slightly different battery of tests from a number of availablechoices. Your psychologist will evaluate the results of these tests toconfirm what he has leamed from the history of your problems and hisobservations of your behavior.

The psychologist uses the test results in much the same way your physi-cian uses a chest X-ray to confirm his diagnosis of your pneumonia.Although your physical examination and reported complaints maystrongly suggest pneumonia, your doctor reduces his margin of error byconfirming his diagnosis with the X.ray.

t \o a(J

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Since there are no lab tests available to confirm the ADD diagnosis,mental health professionals often rely on educational and psychologicaltesting. They provide a more unbiased, objective method of diagnosisthan observation and history alone.

Understanding Your DiagnosisYour follow-up appointment should be a detailed, fact-finding mission.You should ask questions about why certain tests were used, what theymeasured and how you compared with the normal range for a particulartest. \Uhen your psychologist explains your results, ask for clarificationif he uses terms you don't understand.

No two ADD people are alike. You should use your follow-up meetingto leam as much as you can about your unique neuropsychologicalprofile. If you leave this meeting armed only with your checklist ofdeficits, you'll have only half the information you need. You must alsohave a clear understanding of your unique strengths and the positivecompensatory strategies you already use.

You can't expect to leave this meeting with all the tools you'll need tomanage your ADD. You can expect to leave with specific informationabout your individual strengths and weaknesses and a framework oftreatment options.

After the Diagnosis-Your Role in TireatmentThe homework you did in locating your mental health professionalwill pay dividends as you begin treatment. You must become an activeparticipant in your treatment, working with your physician or psychol-ogist to problem-solve. Since information about adult ADD is limited,a flexible, experimental approach to treatment is usually necessary.

If you're going to use medicine in your treatment, it's essential thatyou establish a partnership with your physician. Finding the right medi-cation and dosage is generally a trial and error process. There isn't anymagic formula the physician can use to determine in advance the medi-cine that will work best for you.

If your mental health professional becomes defensive or pats you onthe head when you ask questions or offer ideas, find a new one!

'We've

been contacted bv adults who can't find informed professionals in

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their areas. should you find _yourself in a similar situation, you mayhave to seek our someone who is willing to leam!

The Practical side of Evaluation and Treatment-What's it Going to CostlThis discussion wouldn't be complete without a word about cost. Thetesting process is time consuming and can rapidly run up a large bill-the fee for psychological testing."n rurrge from $+OO to$1500. Beforecommitting to testing or treatment, ask about approximate costs andways to cut corners if you are uninsured or on a tight budget. you maybe able to work out a payment schedule in advan.. if the b"ill for testingis too large to pay at one time.

Carefully scrutinize your insurance policy. Some don't cover or onlypartially cover psychological services. Some specifically exclude ADDfrom coverage. \7e don't want to discourage you from s.eking a diag-nosis and treatment. You are worth the price even if it melr,r ,kip-ping your summer vacation this year. \fe just want you to be preparedso you can plan and avoid rude financial shocks.

In a later section yelll talk specifically about various rreatment optionsfor ADD adults. Although professional help will likely be an importantpart of your treatment, we want to focus piimarily on self-help whichis the guiding principle of this book. \7e firmly beiieve that you are ca-pable of helping yourself and we want to help you leam how to do it.

Getting Down To Work

Okay, so you know, or feel fairly certain that an Attention DeficitDisorder is at the root of your problems. you know you were bom withthe deficits and grew up with them. You know you're different fromsomeone without ADD. You know you've learned various not so greatwavs of coping with them. so ryHAr Do you Do No\r t

\7ltq, you do now is take a deep breath, find some time for yourselfand look squarely ar y_our ADD. It is inseparable from who you are.W.lrat you do now is decide that you are worth all the work it willtake to recover.

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Recover: 1. a)to get back (something lost, stolen, etc.)b) to regain (health, consciousness, etc.)

2. to compensate for; make up for (to recover losses)

3. a) to get (oneself) back to a state of control, balance, composure, etc.b) to catch or save (oneself)from a slip, stumble, betrayal of feeling, etc.

Neu., WorldDictionary of the Americanlangrage, Simon and Shuster, 1980

To regain, compensate, getback conwol udbalance, saqJe oneself-this iswhat you do now. The remainder of this book is about this process ofrecovery. \7e'11 move from the theoretical to the practical and offerspecific guidelines and suggestions that can make recovery possible.

'SUe can't emphasize enough that recovery is a process that requires a

lot of work. It isn't something that will magically happen after youread this book. You must commit yourself to believing that you areworth all the work it will take to recover.

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If you're still reading, we can assume that you've made this importantcommitment to yourself. You won't be sorry. You have so muctr, to offerand so many talents to discover! Let's get started and take a look atsome important issues you'll need to consider.

ADD is inseparable from who you are. We made rhis observarion atthe outset but what does it really mean? ADD is an acronym for Atten-tion Deficit Disorder. Deficit...? Disorder...? If ADD is inseparable from*h-to you are, does this mean that disability is your only dimensionlAbsolutely not!

Your differences are -only one part of you. If sociery has leamed anythingfrom the efforts of the physically disabled to gain equal access, it;s thalwe are all people first. If more rime and energy were spent developingthe unique abilities of all people, we would have a more productivesociety.

As you learn to help yourself, you must never focus more on your dis-abilities than the total person you are. It's a mistake, however, ro to-tally ignore your differences. The tricky thing for ADD adults is thatmaLy oj us grgw up never knowing we had a disability. ADD is insep-arable from who we are because we forged our senses of self arotrnd it,never knowing it was there. Most of us haven't grown up with thebenefit of knowing we had a handicap. \7e grew up thinking we justweren't as smart, competent or valuable as other people.

Now that you know you have ADD, it should be easy to make a recipeto rum out a grear person, right? \7e11, it doesn't quite work that way.You may know intellectually that you have ADD. Grappling with thatknowledge on an emotional level, however, is a very different anddifficult proposition:

It is o task of truly accepting thnt you (nen't perfect.

You mus! ray good-bye to your old self-image, wharever that may havebeen and admit that your problems won'r go away by changing yourjob, your friends or your spouse. The vague feeling you've alwiys hadthat something was wrong has been confirmed and given a name. Whata scary place to be-in adulthood, trying to figure out who you'll be

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when you grow up.

Your newly acquired self-knowledge may be scary but it's also liberating.It offers a wonderful opportunity to take control of your life by lookingsquarely at your limits and growing beyond them. This requires courageand time. It requires working through a process of self-acceptance thatbegins with grieving.

\fhen a loved one dies we can't move on with our lives until we havegrieved and moved through the stages of shock, anger, denial, bargain-ing and depression. Similarly, when we lose a part of our psychologicalselves including an alteration in our self-concept, we must grieve thelost sense of self before we can work on building a new one. You maynot have thought of your ADD in this way, but:

Qrieving has to be the beginning of your self-discaeery.

Let's take a look at how the process works. You may already have movedthrough some of the stages. It never hurts, however, to regroup andrethink your progress since recovery is an ongoing process.

Grief-The Shock of RecognitionThe diagnosis is often both a punch in the stomach and a vindicationof years of struggle and feelings of inadequacy.

'We knew something

was wrong and now we have the test results to prove it. We don't haveto feel like impostors anymore, living in fear of being found out. \What

a reliefl

KK: "When I went through psychotherapy in my '20's, my constanttheme was that I felt different. I always struggled with comparing my-self to other people, unable to figure out how they could so easily man-age the things I sweated over. I wondered if they had some secret towhich I wasn't privy or if they managed to accomplish a lot at the ex-pense of their families.

Since I couldn't go to college and do much of anything else at thesame time, I assumed that being a student meant giving up everythingoutside school. I didn't know that it was just easier for other people.I assumed that I was too self-indulgent to accept the challenges.

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\7hen I was diagnosed with ADD, the relief was enormous-l wasfinally able to make sense of my struggles. Having ADD meanr that Iwasn't bad, lazy, unmotivated or stubborn. It meant that I could lookat my life through different colored lenses. I could stop filtering my ac-complishments through the expectations I based on comparisons toothers. I began to marvel at all I had managed to do in spite of a sig-nificant disability.

The mid-life crisis I had been working on resolved itself when I shed apositive light on the life I had lived ,rp to that point. Although I hadgained positive self-esteem as a result of psychotherapy, it was nothingcompared to the boost of my changing view of myself as a heroicallystruggling adult.

I began to feel less apologetic for my shortcomings and more deservingof help and understanding. Accompanying the relief was the hope thatI could be fixed now that I finally understood the basis for my problems."

PR: "l always struggled silently with my deficits. Neither my grades inschool nor any of my relationships ever suffered outwardly. The onlyperson who knew I was a failure was me. It was an incredible burden.

The people in my life didn't destroy me. I destroyed myself with inrensefeelings of inadequacy. Perhaps the worst period in my life was whenmy little brother died. I was 14 years old and into driving my parenrscrazy with my adolescent stuff. Roger hit a tree when he was sleddingand died the next moming. He was only 10 years old and indisputablythe perfect child in my family. He was so perfect. I was so imperfect.And he had to die! I knew that it should have been me.

No one ever knew how I felt. To this day, my parenrs don't know howI agonized over screwing this one up by not being rhe one who died.Leaming at 39 that I had ADD didn't miraculously free me from myimpaired sense of seli but it offered a peace I had never known before.It was a relief to know, at least in my intellectual self, that my feelingshad a basis. My struggles came from deficits over which I had no control.The diagnosis alone didn't undo years of silent pain bur gave me areality I could use to work on readjusting my self-image.

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I wish my brother hadn't died but I've been able to alter my perspectivesof his life and mine. Neither of us had more value than the other. Hisdeath just happened and I finally believe that it's okay that it wasn'tme instead."

Grief: Anger-"Why Me?"The initial smge of relief and euphoria often gives way ro a period ofanger. The diagnosis that frees us from faulty assumptions begins tofeel like an unbearable burden. Facts don't lie. We are imperfect and itjust isn't fair!

"Why me? Why did I haue to be born this way?""Why did everyone-parents, teachers , therapists-blame mydfficulties on depression, lack of motiuation or poor character?"

"WhJ didn't somebody believe in me?"

"WhJ did ewerybody &ssLlme the worst-that I just wasn't tryinghard enough?"

"Why was I misunderstood and reprimanded when I was uyingmy lteart out?"

"Why did all those mental heahh professionals pretend to know moretlwn they really did? "

'We may feel furious at the people in our lives who failed to recognize

our deficits. 'We

understand that no one knew much about ADD tenor twenty years ago. But somehow, we still feel that if only our parentshad loved and respected us enough, they would have figured it out.They should have known our problems were real. \7e often begin tofeel helpless and victimized.

Grief: Denial-Not Me!Remember Donna? She struggles with her inability to move beyondthe intellectunl knowledge of her ADD to the emotionel knowledge. It'snot that she rejects the reality of her disorder. She simply denies itsimpact on her life.

Denial can take several forms. After an initial sense of anger, wemight decide to reject the diagnosis, wondering why we ever wastedour money on the evaluation. \7e might, as Donna does, announce to

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friends that we have ADD but then not seek treatment. \7e mightpick up our prescription for Ritalin but never use it. \7e might takethe medication with the mistaken belief that we have found the curefor our problems. We move into this new phase of our lives with rosyfantasies of how with the help of our local pharmacyr we can conquerthe world.

Regardless of the brand of denial we choose during this stage, we aren'tdealing yet with the reality of our ADD. We need time to process ournew knowledge and confront ourselves with our weaknesses. At thisearly stage in the process of recovery we don't recognize the face re-flecting back to us in the mirror:

"Th.at isn't the person I used to be,andl'm not ready to figne out who it really is."

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Bargaining-It Can All Be FixedAs we begin to make sense of everything, we bargain with God or fateto forestall facing the inescapable fact of our disorder. The deal goessomething like this: "lf I'm really good, you'll give me back whatI've lost."

For many ADD adults the bargaining is around medication that oftenbrings at least initially dramatic, positive changes. A whole worldopens up as the medication helps us emerge from lifelong fogt. Sightsand sounds that had previously drifted by our conscious awareness arenoticed for the first time. \7e are better organized and focused. \7e feelenergized with a new sense of purpose and feel calmer and happier.This new tool is a great bargaining chip.

'We promise ourselves to work diligently at pursuing the right dose of

medication. When we find it, we know that our symptoms will goaway. We'll be able to take responsibility for our behaviors and be likeeverybody else.

This strategy works for a while until awareness grows that maybe thisisn't the answer to our problems. Our improved ability to pay attentionmakes us increasingly aware of our mistakes. \7e grudgingly acknow-ledge that our medicine hasn't cured them. It doesn't make us normaleven though we promised to do everything right if only the Ritalinwould fix us. We begin to notice the drug's uneven symptom controlover the course of the day and our decreased functioning when thedrug is at a low level.

Our diagnosis vindicates us from the invalid assumptions people havemade about us. \Ue've spent our anger railing about the injustice andhave taken a step towards dealing with our symptoms. But we aren'tfixed. Our bargaining doesn't work but we're still not ready to own ourdisorder. We still aren't ready to accept that we'll struggle withADD for the rest of our lives.

Reality Sinks In-DepressionOur diagnosis is supposed to free, not imprison us. But that's oftenwhat happens at some point in our grief process. As adults, we resenthaving to relive the identity crisis of adolescence. We may not have

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been doing great before but at least we thought we knew who we were.At this point depression often sets in. For some ADD adults it retumsperiodically, threatening to undermine progress.

KK: "When depression set in, it was compounded by the growingcertainty that my daughter also had ADD. I mixed us up in my mindduring that time. Tyrell was my bright hope for the future. I put a lotof energy into carefully nurturing her self-esteem so she wouldn't haveto go through what I did as a child. When I realized that ADD was atthe root of many of my problems, I was frightened for my daughter.

In my state of gloom, I began to think that she was doomed as I was. Ifthis problem was inherited and biological, there was no escape. I ago-nized over Tyrell's fate and my own. I ruminated about all the things Icouldn't do and all the times I had failed. I relived each painful and

?c

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humiliating experience from my past. My positive attributes and accom.plishments ceased to exisr. There was rhe triple whammy of feelinghelpless as a parent, generally incompetent and without hope for tlefuture. I said good-bye ro many of my dreams, both the realistic andthe unrealistic ones.

This stage was marked by extreme fragility. I constantly burst intotears and innocent remarks set me off. I laugh at it now but just hearingthe word "memory" would bring tears to my eyes because it remindedme of my deficits. I sat in church every Sunday trying to hide the tearsstreaming down my face."

PR: "The relief I felt after my diagnosis was short-lived. In the monthsthat followed, it was replaced with an assortmenr of conflicring feel-ings. Depression was one of them. It was a place I had frequently visitedduring my life. This rime, however, there was no vagueness about myfeelings of gloom.

I had often lived under a cloud of helplessness and hopelessness. Thediscovery of my ADD, however, broughr my negative feelings crashingdown around me. I had previously been able to pull myself out of myblack fogs by reasoning that things really weren'r that bad. My diag-nosis brought this reasoning ro a crashing halt. Things really werethat bad! I would never be okay.

I already knew that my rhen 8 year old son would never be okay. Ivividly recall the moment two years earlier when my fantasies aboutR. Jeremy abruptly ended. I sat in the psychologist's office, mentallycheckingoff all the things he would never be able to do. Four monthspregnant with a baby girl conceived after several years of infertilitytreatments, I felt gut-wrenching rerror for both my children.

Remember my brother Roger? \7ell, I had given my son his name andI had an intense, frightening feeling of deia vu.'What awful curse hadI visited on my son? \7ould he also come ro some terrible end?

Depression set in with a vengeance. I had previously resolved my issuesaround Jeremy's deficits and had accepted his imperfections. But hereit was again-that damned ADD. This time it was mine. My feelings

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and fears about both my son and myself converged into some prettyself-destructive thoughts. Just when I was getting a handle on hisproblems, I was faced with the reality of my own.

It wasn't easy to move beyond my depression. It didn't happen over-night. But I did it. With persistence and a sense of humor, I climbedout of my deep, black hole again. I decided I didn't like it in there-itwas too dark and I'm into bright, open spaces! I figured that with myfamily of four, I was 2 down, with 2 to go. I did it twice and if I had to, Icould do it again."

Out of the Depths-ACCEPTANCE!If you keep working on the grief process, you will come to a new andbetter place in your life. The stages you will go through are often dif-ficult and painful but they're essential. \Uhen the going gets rough,don't get discouraged. Visualize where you're going-to a place whereyou will discover and learn to use your valuable gifts.

PR: "One day last summer a terrible thunderstorm rocked our houseand terrified my 4 year old daughter. \Uhen it finally ended there wasan incredibly beautiful double rainbow stretching across the sky. Alisonwas dumbstruck because she had never seen a rainbow. After watchingit a while, she announced that she hoped we'd have another bad stormsoon so she could see another rainbow. Her fear disappeared, replacedwith her child's optimism.

I've thought often about that storm since Alison comforted herselfwith the wonder of the resultant rainbows. It may be a cliche but myjoumey through my own personal storm has taught me to believe inthe gold at the end of rainbow. It's there. It's real. It's within my grasp.

I know that I'11 probably always have more storms than rainbows butthat goes with the territory. I know that my joumey will be an uphillstruggle but the rewards are worth *y efforts. I accept my son andmyself as we are.

'We're all we've got, so we'd better make the most of

our lives. Those complex and beautiful rainbows symbolized limitlesspossibilities. And so do we, my son and I."

KK: "l don't remember exactly when the depression began to lift. I

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know one sign of my emergence from gloom and doom was regainingthe abiliry to laugh at myself. I joked about starring a new kind of AAgroup for people like me. I would call it Airheals Anonymous.

Understanding that I wasn't to blame for the way I was, relieved meof the guilt I had lived with for so long. I was a valuable person with adisability. I had deficits but they no longer defined who I was. Th"ytook their rightful place as one dimension of a multi-dimensionalperson. I began to feel more confident about my parenting skills andbecame less anxious about my daughter's future. I reasoned that if Icould make it without any help during my childhood, Tyretl could doeven better with support.

Coming to terms with my ADD meanr spending far less time and en.ergy hiding my deficits. I concentrated on understanding rhem withoutbeing consumed bv them. I was finally free to take charge of my lifeand realistically assess ir.

The months that followed were exciting and productive as I evaluatedvarious career options. It became clear that I had a gift for writing andan ability to understand and connect with people. I was already usingmy people skills in my teaching and nursing but realized that many ofthe routine details of my work were painfully difficult for me. I decidedto use my risk-taking ability to embark on a new venrure, althSugh itwasn't readily apparent what it would be !

I had been intensely interested in ADD since my diagnosis and wantedto specialize in it in some way. I just didn't know what direction totake. I liked the flexibility of teaching and enjoyed menroring studentsbut sensed that perhaps this wasn't quite the right niche. I wrestledwith the issue of security vs. optimally using my interests and talents.With my newfound sense of inner strength, I was sure that I wouldeventually find what I was looking for.

!7hen the answer came, everything fell in to place. I decided ro writethis book and asked P.ggy to join me in this venrure. The project hadmy name on itl I knew there were millions of people sffuggling withADD and that there was limited help available for them. This bookwould be the perfect work choice for me.

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I had impeccable credentials-who could know ADD better thansomeone who lived with it? I could use my experiences, varied back-ground in education and mental health and my people and writingskills to work at something in which I was intensely interested. Whata perfect job!

Life still has its ups and downs but I feel that I'm living it more fullynow than I ever could have before this journey. Instead of hiding myweaknesses or working at things that are wrong for me, I can nowcelebrate my gifts."

In the remaining chapters of this book, we will offer a framework youcan use to maximize your abilities and minimize your disabilities. Thefocus will be on what you can do rather than what you can't do.

'We

want to help you discover your hidden strengths and talents and cele-brate the person you are.

We don't presume to have all the answers. '!7e

can, however, help youformulate the questions you need to ask as you take responsibility foryour recovery. We share your pain and your hope because we are strug-gling alongside you.

As you continue on your personal journey of recovery, consider thefollowing quote by Cathy Better of Reistertown, Maryland. It appearedin the Commwtity Times newspaper and is an empowering affirmationof the possibilities available to you with hard work and a deep com-mitment to yourself.

Each day that we awake is a new start, another clwnce.Why waste it on self-pity, sloth and selfishnessl

RoII thnt dny arowrd on yo1,4r tongue, relish the taste of its freedom.Breathe deeply of the morning air, savor the fragrance of opportunity.

Rwt your hands along the spine of those precious 24 howsand feel the suength in the sinew utd bone.

Life is raw material. We are artisans.Vle can sculpt our enstence into somethingbeautiful,

or debase it into ugliness.It's in our hands.

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Cnapren 7rr-

About Balance, Toyofasl PorscheslCircus High Wires, and theTwelveSteps of Alcoholics Anonymous

Dia we get your attention? Are you wondering about the connecrionbetween balance, cars, high wire acrs, AA, ADD and recovery? lfell,there is a connection and it's an important place to start learning howto effectively manage your ADD.

Balance may be something you only think about at the end of themonth when your bank shtement comes. One of life's little joys is abalanced checkbook. This doesn'r happen nearly often enough. Howmany times do you decide that it isn't worth trying to figure out rhe dis.crepancy-that it's easier to accept the balance your bank says you have?

"The ADDer's Precarious High Wire Act"

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As ADDers, achieving balance in our lives is critical and considerablymore difficult to achieve than balance in our checkbooks. What isbalance? It's a general concept, similar to freedom or success, that eachof us defines individually. Let's find out how balance issues have animpact on the lives of ADD adults.

Warning-It's Very Easy for an ADDer to Lose Her Balance!ADD folk have nervous systems that are erratic and poorly regulated.Rapid thoughts and an excitable nature are at odds with a central ner-vous system that can't handle too much input. The paradox is of anenthusiastic, creative and impulsive ADD adult who is often driven toget involved in more than she can handle. Since having ADD meansthat her basic nature is at war with itsell her life can indeed be a HighWire Act!

Achievement and Less Tangible Goals: There are many ways for anADDer to lose the balance in her life. The delicate balance betweenachievement and other, less tangible goals is a critical balancing act.These days it seems that many feople feel they live on fast-movingtreadmills that lack off switches. Careers eat up family time and esca-lating demands create pressure cooker environments.

Unlike people who react to this pressure with mild stress symptoms,ADDers can fall apart completely. Of course this is often a first, essen-tial step toward recovery. Falling apart can be the equivalent of analcoholic hitting "rock bottom". For some alcoholics, rock bottom isgetting a DUI citation. For others, it is a string of DUI's, a divorce,unemployment and hitting skid row. As awful as rock bottom may seemat the time for an alcoholic or an ADDer, it's often the starting pointfor a new and better life. It begins the recovery process because itsawfulness forces the person to make some changes.

Structure and Freedom: To keep ourselves from falling off our highwire, many of us also need a proper balance of structure and freedom.We ADDers often balk at the structure we desperately need. A ten-dency to become easily over-stimulated means that chaotic lifestylescan get us into trouble. On the other hand, lives routinized into dull-ness by too much regimentation don't provide sufficient challenge.

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'!7e know that an ADD child needs extemally imposed structure ro

thrive. \7hen she becomes an adult, she continues to need limits buthas to provide them for herself. Adults are expected to manage theirown lives. The challenge is to establish a balance that offers order with-out stifling creativity, one of many ADD adulm' best attributes.

Ways of ThinH.g, Activity Levels, Emotions and Needs: ADDbrains and nervous systems are often out of balance with behaviorswinging rapidly from one extreme to rhe other. An ADDer tends roexcesses, alternating between bouts of workaholism and sluggish inac-tivity. Her moods swing up and down and her performance is erratic.The following list outlines some of these balance issues that can causeyou to lose your footing on the high wire:

Work vs. PlayDo you tend to get over-involved in one or the other and havetrouble shifting gears ?

Your Needs vs. Others'Are you oblivious to the feelings and points of view of others or doyou always put yourself dead last?

Over vs. LJnderstimulation !:What is your optimal level of srress, noise, work and challenges?

Hyperactivity vs. HypoactivityAre you so active that you drive others crazy or do you vegetatemost of the time? This includes sleep and rest pattems as well asdaily activity levels.

Detailed vs. Global ThinkittgDo you get caught up in too much detail unable to see the forestfor the trees, or do you tend to focus on the gestalt or wholepicture? If you focus on big picrures, do you have trouble keepingtrack of details?

Depression vs. EuphoriaAre your moods out of balance with too much sadness or excessivehappiness? Do you swing between these rwo extremes?

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The Value of Examining Balance Issues

It's easy for your balance in each of these areas to become skewed ineither direction at different times. Altemately, you may find yourselfregularly swinging erratically from one extreme to the other. The pointof examining each of these areas is that imbalance in any of them cancause problems for your mental health or family life.

\Uhat's the connection we mentioned between balance, Tovotas andPorsches? In some respects, the ADD adult is designed like a Porsche.She is spirited, dynamic, powerful, exciting and ready to go with therapid acceleration of an expensive sports car. Her non-ADD peers aremore like the family Toyota. Equally well engineered, this Toyota hasa more "even temperament." It is designed for comfort, reliability andfuel efficiency. If the ADD adult is to maintain and maximize the highperformance of her Porsche, she has to take especially good care ofherself.

2One of the best ways you can do this is to work on achieving balancein your life. Having a well-balanced lifestyle is akin to taking goodcare of your car. It subjects the system to less wear and tear. To use themetaphor again, working on balance is similar to continually tinkeringwith and tuning up your car. If you want to keep your whole system inworking order, you'll have to make on-going adjustments.

With limitations they can't ignore, ADDers who recover may welllead the rest of society to a saner way of life. Competence and levels ofachievement have become the societal standard that measures a per-son's worth and success in life. Those who are "unproductive" due toage, health, or disability have been devalued because they don't "mea-sure up". Society no longer values children or the aged as it previouslydid. A shocking number of children sink into poverty while stressedcaregivers abuse many senior citizens.

This philosophizing isn't just the wandering of creative minds but re-lates directly to achieving balanced lives. You have a unique opporru-nity to redesign your success model and get off the ctazy treadmilleveryone else is on.

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If you pay attention to the messages of your body and soul, you'll realizethat you can't be all or do it all. If you work at your recovery, you canuse your new self-knowledge to design a life that really works for you.You can be at peace with yourself and your environment while the restof the world skyrockets out of control.

'We've already talked about the connection between balance, cars and

high wire acts. Now let's consider the last part of this chapter's title-Alcoholics Anonymous-as we move from general concepts ro prac-tical applications for achieving balance in your life.

How,To's of Achieving Balance

To help you get started, we're going to borrow the invaluable frameworkof the Twelqte Sreps of '\boholics Anonymous. Although this programspecifically refers to alcohol and alcoholics, it's possible to substitutevirtually any chronic problem or disability. A variety of suppoft groupshave adopted this framework which is a sound program for crearing abalanced life.

Briefly, the program is a systematic plan for acknowledging limitationsto oneself and others, making amends to others whenever possible andcoming to a greater self-acceptance.Working the progran means makinga commitment to follow rhe sreps in daily life.

The Twelve Steps of A.A.'a

l.'We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-thatbur liveshad become unmanageable.

2.Came to believe that a Power grearer than ourselves couldrestore us to sanity.

3.Made a decision to tum our will and our lives over to the careof God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to other human beings the

exact nature of our wrongs.6.'Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of

character.7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

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8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing tomake amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, exceptwhen to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we werewrong, promptly admitted it.

I 1. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve ourconscious contact with God as we understood Him, prayingonly for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carrythat out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps,we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practicethese principles in all our affairs.

Using The TWelve Steps for Your Personal Recovery from ADDThe steps are framed around a central concept of spiritual awarenessthat has relevance for ADDers. It's the glue that holds all the steps ofthe program together so that peace and self-acceptance can be achieved.

Spiritual awareness isn't specific to organized religion. The Twelqte Stepscarefully talk about "God as we und"erstnndhim'i leaving the specifics tothe individual. The word "God" can be replaced with a more general-ized "higher power" that has meaning for each individual. The higherpower could be the fellowship of other alcoholics (or in our case, otherADDers) or the whole of mankind. The idea is to focus on somethinggreater than ourselves and realize that we c&n't go it totally alone. TheSerenity Prayer sums up this philosophy:

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITYTO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,

TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,AND THE \TISDOM TO KNO\y THE DIFFERENCE.

Closely related to spiritual awareness and integral to the program isthe issue of morality and wrongdoing. For the alcoholic, this issue is acritical part of her recovery. Typically the alcoholism has caused havocin the lives of her friends and family and she must assume responsibili-ty for her actions. This includes making amends to each of the peopleshe has directlv hurt.

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These issues aren't relevant to your recovery from ADD except as theyrelate to those aspects of self you can change. For instance, if you'velearned to use some maladaptive coping mechanisms that have hurtother people, you should take responsibihty for your behaviors andmake appropriate amends.

The issue of powerlessness detailed in the first three steps, however, hasa direct implication for you as an adult with ADD. It means that youare powerless over your ADD in that it isn't anyone's fault and can'tbe cured.

Applying these steps in your own life means that you need to stop blam-ing your parents, spouse, children and yourself for the problems causedby your ADD. This doesn't mean that you absolve yourself from allresponsibility for your behavior. It means that you acknowledge thereality of your imperfect self. Confronting your powerli:ssness includesan admission that you can't do it all-you are human and have uniquelimitations. If you have begun your process of grief, you may already beconfronting and working at accepting your limitations.

The fourth principle also has significance for you as an ADD adult.This step instructs the individual to take amoral inventory. This shouldbe similar to the one you develop for your homeowner's or renter'sinsurance. Rather than noting the condition and value of possessions,you should examine and list your assets, or abilities and your liabilities,or disabilities.

Your inventory is central to your recovery. Since your ADD can't becured, your goal shouldn't be to eliminate your deficits. Instead it shouldbe to identify, accept and manage them. A failure to confront yourlimitations can result in damaged emotional and spiritual health and adiminished sense of self. Later in this discussion, we'll offer some sugges-tions about how to compile this important inventory.

Evaluating Balance Issues in Your Life

We talked earlier in this chapter about general balance issues that canbe important for you as an ADD adult. Now it's time for you to thinkabout the balance in your own life. The following is a list of questions

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you can use to get started. \-.,u may never have really thought aboutsome of them and may not be irble to answer all of them right now. Butkeep thgm in mind throughout the discussion in this chapter. If you trysome of the things we suggesr, \'ou may be able to answer them later.

1. \Yhat is your daily/weekly work capacity?2. How much sleep and rest do you need, including "down time"

when there are no demands placed on you 1

3. What is your financial bottom line-how much income do yourequire to maintain an acceptable standard of living?

4. How much time should you devore to family and friends?5. \7hat must you do to renew yourself spiritually, not just in the

sense of religion but regarding anything rhar gives your lifemeaning? '

6. How much and what kind of recreational activities are criticalfor your well-being?

7 . How long can you work efficiently without a break?8. What obligations musr you fulfilll

9. What things are cluttering your life and should be eliminated?10. How much time do you spend daily on self-mainrenance:

grooming, dressing or health carel

Is Your Life in Balance?

You probably know that "a11 work and no play makes Johnny a dullboy." A balanced life must include time for work, relarionships, spiritualrenewal, recreation and rest. In today's fast track, dual .ut"". society,the pressures are such that even calm, well-organized folk beco me fraz.zled as they arrempr to find time for everything.

Th9 juggling act is daunting for you as an ADD adult. If you just gowith the flow, lou're likely to find yourself drifting in directions thataren't particularly helpful. You can ger immersed in work and forgetthat you have a family or allow your socializing ar work to interfeiewith the quality of your performance. Since you're distractible andhave an elastic sense of time, you can't expect to let balance take careof itself. You have ro carefully design it.

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Conduct Your Own One Rat StudyTo answer the questions we posed about the balance in your life,you'll need to conduct your own research experiment. It should in-clude a daily log that tracks your activities for several weeks. Writedown everything you do and how much time it takes. Also keeptrack of the difficulty of each task or evenr.

Rate the difficulty on a scale of one ro ren. If you have trouble de-ciding how to rate something, pay attention ro stress indicators.!7hat happens when you face too many demands? Some peoplereact to stress with muscle tension or headaches. Others becomeinitable or start tuning out. \ilAat is your pattem of sffess indicators?

\7hen your diary is complete, examine it for observable pattems.Did your stress indicators increase after a certain length of time ona task? If so, you have discovered how long you can work without abreak or a shift to another acrivity. In similar fashion, you can beginto estimate your overall daily and weekly work capacity.

By keeping track of stress symproms and altering the number ofhours you work, you can determine how long you can work effi-ciently. Don't neglect the other areas of your life when you analyzeyour diary. Does exercise seem to lower your stress level and improvethe quality of your work? What about the time you spend with yourfamily?

Make a Personal ScheduleIt's time to develop a tentative weekly schedule that includes anestimate of the time it takes to do each activity. As you pencil intime estimates on your schedule, be very careful. Refer to your diaryto find out how long it took to complete various tasks and factor inextra time. Doubling your esrimate for everything excepr sleep willgive you a cushion for unexpected events and the distractions thatinevitably derail ADDers.

'We can almost guarantee that after the first week, you'll decide that

your schedule is unworkable! You will probably find that everythingyou needed to do didn't fit into your time frames. \7e bet that ifyou did manage to stay on schedule, you were frazzledby the endof the week.

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Your life is out of balance because you're trying to fit too much into it!This includes not just the quantity of activities but an accumulationof demands on your capaciq for work and stress. After you've recoveredfrom the shock of recognizing the impossibility of doing it all, you'llneed to review your schedule with the goals of slicing and dicing itl

The demands on your life need to match your capacity and abilitiesand also fit into the time you have available. How do you get startedfiguring out what to cut outl In the next section, we'll get back to themoral inventory we talked about earlier. This will be the place for youto start.

Analyziurrg Personal Strengths and Weaknesses

Although we wouldn't presume to minimize the enormous task of re-covering from alcoholism, in some respecrs it might be easier thanrecovering from ADD. As an ADD adult, your flaws are less apparenrthan those of the alcoholic's and may therefore be somewhat easier rodeny and ignore. You have the power ro take control of your life bylooking squarely at your limits.

Acknowledging your limits offers an opportunity for you to grow farbeyond them. By limiting the activities that stress your fragile skills,you will free up energy and time for those you do well. It's time for youget busy on your moral inventory to help you better understand yourstrengths and weaknesses. Use the following questions as an outlinefor this important job.

What Can I Do WelllThis first question may be the hardest to answer! Members of our localadult support group were initially stumped when they tried to describesome of their strong points. Several expressed that they couldn't thinkof anything positive because they were so accustomed to focusing ontheir mistakes. Over time, it became apparent that there was indeed awealth of talent among us. After several months, group members grad-ually became less tentative about their strengths.

If you have a similar problem, we suggest that you work first on enlarg-ing your thinking about what constitutes an asset. For instance, as

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some of our group shared particular talents in their jobs, one participant(we'll call her Sarah) was initially apologetic about not working out-side the home.

As the sharing continued in subsequent meerings, it became apparenrthat Sarah was a virtual genius at living a balanced life. She had con-ducted her own elaborate "one rat study" to determine her work capac-ity. She added up all the mental and physical tasks performed in atypical week to arrive at a total number of working hours. Her calcu-lations were very precise. Sarah determined that travel time to herson's school conference constituted work and time spent at the supportgroup was leisure. She informed the group that she didn'r counr rhetime it took her to get dressed in the moming-but if she had to changeinto her grass cutting clothes during the day, she counted it as work!

Sarah spent several weeks tracking her signs of sffess as she manipulatedthe numbers of hours she worked in a given week. At the end of herstudy, she concluded that she could work no more than fifty hours aweek without exceeding acceptable levels of stress. Since she alreadyhad two children, motherhood wasn'r an oprional role but she knewthat she could make decisions about her other roles.

She realized that she could only manage a part time job outside thehome but didn't waste energy fretting about the lowered family income.Instead, she turned her creative talents to devising strategies for livingwell on less money. She grows much of the family's food in a backyardgarden, swims in a small pool dug with family labor and barters withfriends for other goods and services. Shb carefully considers the impactof labor and money decisions on the family system not only as finan-cial expenses, but also as the cost and value of energy and time.

The result is a family that is truly in balance. Sarah, whose parriculargifts aren't easy to measure or define by societal standards, is extremelysuccessful. She could be a valuable consultant to manv harried. sffessedfamilies.

\7hen you make your list of things you do well, go beyond the obvious.Many of us with ADD measure personal worth by the yardstick ofpeople with more orderly or ordinary lives and minds. I7e consider

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ourselves successful if we plav tennis or golf well, have careers with asteady upward climb and pert,rrm tasks efficiently. Remember, our abil-ities are often more offbeat l

KK: "My younger brother has ADD and is a mechanical genius. \fhenhe was a kid, he got in mega-trouble because he always took thingsapart and neglected to pur them back together. He did, however, havea talent that was very useful. He could figure out how ro open any kindof lock.

'We always called on him when family members had locked

their keys in the car.

He was a lifesaver when my dad who worked for Colt firearms acci-dentally locked my Aunt Mary in a pair of police handcuffs one Fridaynight. Unfortunately, the key was in Dad's office that was closed untilMonday morning. Aunt Mury would have spent a very uncomfortableweekend had my brother not come to her rescue !

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My brother would have made a grear burglar but he might also havetumed his unusual talent into something both income-producing andlegal! I don't know. Maybe he could have designed securiry systems.Actually, he became a chef who happens to have many other untappedtalents.

\fhen I was 23 years old and doing my own self-assessment, I was ini-tially hard-pressed to figure out what I did well. A string of failureshad left me wondering if I had any abilities at all. I sidestepped thequestion of my abilities by taking a look at what I liked to do. Iden-tifying my talents followed logically from this starting point.

The first item on my list was that I liked to spend time talking withmy friends. I realized that not only did I like it, I was also good at it.People often called on me for help when they were in trouble or feelingunhappy. Bingo! I realized that I was an effective, albeit untrained,therapist.

I added my love of reading to my list. I realized that besides books, Iloved reading people and trying to undersrand them. My list grew roinclude attributes such as my tolerance and acceptance of others' faultsand my problem-solving skills."

\fhen you begin working on your own list, try srarring with the thingsyou like to do. Since we often prefer activities that come easiest to us,you may find yourself focusing on your talents without even realizingit. Include as many things as you can. Don't limit yourself to standardor marketable skills such as being a computer whiz or a good dancer. Ifyou can tie a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue, include it on yourlist. If your talent is playing the Star-Spangled Banner on your reerh,don't hesitate to write it down. These abilities might nor have anyapparent value. But some creative thinking can lead to some surprisinguses for seemingly useless and sffange talents!

What Can I Do AdequatelytYour downhill skiing talents may not exactly qualifu for an Olympicgold medal. If you can manage, however, to ger down the hill in onepiece, add this item to your inventory. \fhat about the costumes yousewed for your daughter's school play? Maybe some of the seams ripped

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apart and had to be pinned rtrggl|-t.r for the performance but you didmanage to get the twenty-fivc Ctrslpp"s sewed together.

fh" point is, you should incluJc each thing you can do reasotwbly well.These activities may not L'e \'t'rur tavorite things to do and they maynot be a showcase of your tale nt, hut at least you can get by with them.If you are a mediocre tennis pl.rver, include it as long as you don't playso poorly that you face humiliation each time you step on the court. IfY-our cooking is fairly routine and unexciting but edible, it belongs inthis category.

What Can't (or Shouldn't) I DolThis final section of your inventory is extremely important because itwill help you make decisions about the things you should simply sropdoing.- Do you remember Debra who tries to hide her deficits

-by doing

everything? Not only does she try to do everything, she tries to doeverything brilliantlyl Of course, she continuatly feels stressed andinadequate due to her unrealistic expectations.

Even_if you aren't trying to do it all, you are probably trying to do thingsyou shouldn't do. You may be a whiz in mathematics but that doesn'inecessarily mean that you should do your income rax preparation. Doyou really have time to fit this in ro your schedule or should you payan accountant to do it? \7hat about those things that really aren'ryour fort6? If you are experiencing failure when your efforts don'r ac-complish what you want them to, perhaps your only failure is in tryingto do some of these things at all. No one can be wonderFul at everything.

Many ADDers try so hard to be normal that they are unrealistic aboutthe_ir capabilities. If playing softball always resul$ in an agonizinglyembarrassing experience, don't do it-even if your three closest friendspressure you into joining them for this grear pasrime. Bland, rarhertasteless meals are acceptable but if you repeatedly burn down majorsections of your kitchen, it's time to reevaluate your cooking.

These activities should be added ro your Can'tlshouldn'tDo list. Asyou examine your assets and liabilities, be honest about your weak-nesses.

'S7e certainly don't encourage you to focus exclusively on your

deficits. But through the process of examining and identifying rhem,

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Cuapren 8

lnterfacing ln Action:ln Groups and Friendships

Tttit chapter marks a change in direction from the first part of thisbook. In educational jargon, the information in the first seven chapterswasReadiness. \7e were providing information that will be the basisfor everything that follows. Since we want to be effective teachers, weneed to remind you to periodically review some of the old material asyou continue your reading. \7e will use the moral inventory again so ifyou haven't completed it, we hope that you have at least been thinkingabout it.\7e hope that at a minimum, you've added it to your To Do list!

In preceding chapters we talked about the impact of ADD on otherpeople within the context of specific symptoms, differences and defensemechanisms. Now we're going to examine the impact of ADD speci-fically within the context of relationships.

We've borrowed from computer terminology in naming chapters eightthrough ten. The term "interfacing" is used to describe communicationbetween computers. !7e think the term captures the essence of theissues of "getting along".

Although much of the focus of these three chapters is interfacing andcommunication, we'll also consider related issues. In Chapter 9, forinstance, we'll examine various factors that have an impact on anADDer's ability to "relare" to his iob responsibilities. Now that youknow where you're heading in your reading, let's get busy examininginterfacing in action.

We all interact daily with other people. When we talk on the phone,participate in a meeting or share dinner with a friend, we're relating

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with other people. The success of these interactions, whether brief,one-time encounters or long-lasting relationships, depends largely onadequate communication skills.

Virtually everything we do as members of the human race is a form ofcommunication. Volumes have been written about the art of effectivecommLlnication. Family and marriage therapists focus on its importanceand attempt to help people keep the lines of communication open.College courses teach posinue commr.Lnicanon skills. Based on all theattention given to issues of communication, one can assume that itmust be considerably more complex and difficult than simply talking!

Of course you already knew that. Relationships would be a breeze ifthis were the case. In reality, even the briefest of interactions can fallapart through a misunderstanding. So let's take a brief look at the dy-namics of communication as a starting place for our discussion of in-teractions and relationships.

We interact with each other by transmitting our thoughts, feelings,and desires through the medium of language. In its simplest form, lan-guage involves speaking and listening: I talk and you listen and youtalk and I listen. Sounds simple, doesn't it? To understand how lan-guage is anything but simple, we'll consider communication in theworld of computers.

Communication in the Computer WorldWith the exploding technology of the past thirty years, many differentkinds of computers have become available and are almost indispensablefor personal and busindss use. \il/ith the arrival of modems and net-working, computers rapidly send mail electronically. \7e don't have towait for the US Postal Service to deliver a letter two days later.

'!7e

can instantly send the report on our computer screen to someone else'sthrough telephone cabling.

This capability has been limited by communication problems identicalto the ones encountered by

" German who tries to speak to an Amer-

ican. They can't communicate because they speak different languages.

In the world of computers) great strides have been made in developingsoftware that bridges the capabilities of dissimilar programming lan-

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guages. Macintoshes and IBMs, for example, use hardware and pro-grammed languages unique to each of them. Both computers can use aword processing software package called Microsoft WordtM, but their"brains" (hardware) can recognize the program only if it written in theirown "language". Before the advent of special software programs thattranslate the unfamiliar language of one computer for the other, Macsand IBM's were unable to interface and communicate with each other.

Even when two computers have the same hardware, they may be unableto communicate with each other if they don't use the same software.For instance) a Macintosh that uses the word processing software Mac-'lTritet*,

hasn't been able to read a letter formatted in Microsoft \Uordt*because the programming languages are different

Similarly, people come in different models with individualized hard-ware and software packages. Each of our brains processes informationdifferently and uses software that can't read the language of otherpeople. If an IBM lacks the capabiliry of talking to a Macintosh, it simplyworks by itself and does its own thing. When differences in programmingmake communication between people difficult, we still have to inter-face with each other because we share the world as human beings.

The Art and Science of Communication

Although Mom and Dad often frantically try to figure out exactly whatthe crying signifies,, their one second oLd infant is already communicating.Long before the growing baby acquires real language, he uses squeals,gestures and facial expressions to "talk".

Unless we have a speech problem or a specific language disability, mostof us learn to talk fairly early in our lives. We learn the science of com-munication rather effortlessly. !7e learn to pronounce words correctlyand to use them to communicate our needs.

The art of commuLnication is often considerably more difficult to leam.Successful interactions with the taxi driver or a spouse rely on a masteryof this art form. Similar to a painting, communication can be designedand interpreted in a variety of ways. It sends a message that includesmultiple elements of form, color intensity and shading, subtlety, and

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detail. Unless you are an art aficionado, you may walk away from anabstract painting as confused as you are after some conversations.

An adult with ADD can have real problems with communication andrelationships because the rules of the art form continually change. Ashe tunes in and out, his deficits interfere with his ability to truly under-stand the meaning of conversations. He may communicate messageshe never intended and misinterpret the messages he receives.

The Rhythm of LanguageUnlike a painting, communication isn't a static art form. It has rhythmand movement. \7e have to synchronize ourselves to its flow and toknow where, when and how much to contribute to a conversation.Similar to a ballet, a conversation has many elements. It includes aproper time to make an entrance, an awareness of what others aredoing, allocation of time for a solo and rules for executing a gracefulfinale and exit. Many of us could really use some dancing lessons!

Verbal and Nonverbal CommunicationCommunication is an interplay of words and body language. In general,people from one country use words incomprehensible to foreigners.People in the same country may speak different dialects depending onthe ethnic group or area they come from. It has also been suggestedthat men and women speak different languages.

ADDers and non-ADDers alike differ in their ability to read the inter-play of verbal and body language. For some of us, the additional cluesof body language help rather than hinder our communication skills.'We

can use observable gestures and facial expressions to fill in the gapsof words we would otherwise misunderstand.

Others may grasp the precise meaning of spoken words but misunder-stand the message of non-verbal language. During a visit to Australia,President George Bush held up his fingers in the "V" recognized byAmericans as the classic symbol of victory. Much to his chagrin, helearned that an Australian uses the "V" to communicate the samething as an American holding up his middle finger! President Bushreally should have taken a crash course in the Art of I'lonuerbalCom-rrundcation before he made his historic blooper!

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Communication is fraught with the potential for misunderstanding.You may know the meaning of the words, "You should leave" but yourresponse will vary according to your ability to use the art of commun-ication. If you rely only on the words themselves, you might respond,"Yes, I probably should get going." But what about the accompanyingbody language?

You should leave: The speaker is relaxed and smiling. He looka at hiswatch and realizes that it's time for your next class,so you SHOULD leave. He is enjoying the con'versation but is concemed that you'll be late.

You should leave: The speaker moves close to you and his face isexpresslonless. He looks at his watch and saysangrily that YOU should leave. He isn't at allconcemed about your punctuality. And at themoment, he doesn't care much about leaving forhis class either. He wants Torl out. NO\f!

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You should leave: The speaker backs away from you and his eyes arelittle more than slits. His mouth is set and his lipsbarely move as he grabs ar his watchband andhisses that you should LEAVE. The message isthat you've done enough already-he doesn't wantyou to breathe, flinch or talk. He wants you roIBaqte and never, ever rhink of coming back!

\7e think you get the message. Words, voice inflections, facial expres-sions, gestures, body posture and positioning all communicate subtle(or not so subtle!) messages. An ADDer can repeatedly face socialslippery spots as he attempts to negotiare around the obstacles to suc-cessful communication. Let's examine just two particularly dangeroushazards before we move on to issues of various relationships in our lives.

Hazard-Social Slippery Spots !

Social Slippery Spot #l-Basic Manners: We would venture rosay that most of us with ADD need to proceed very cauriously in thisarea.

'We're not saying that ADDers have comered the market on bad

manners. But societal conventions of politeness can be hazards becauseof our particular differences.

W"hen people talk about good manners, rhey're usually alking aboutrule-govemed speech and behavior. Grandparents brag aboutlheir well.mannered grandchild and teachers admonish their students to showbetter manners. Good manners require adequate communication skillsthat include an ability to monitor behavior ind pay close arrenrion rodetail. Since these skills can be shaky in an ADDer, he may behave inan unmannerly fashion, making enors of both omission and commission:

Teacher: "I will thank Jou to keep those opinions to yourself !" \You: "Oh, you're welcome!"womnn whose Dlace in line you just took oqter: "WeII, excuse me!"You: "Oh, aml in your way?"

An ADDer may fail to say, "Excuse me" when he jostles someone(omission) and interrupt and monopolize conversations (commission).He probably knows the rules, but haphazardly applies them. Since

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these skills may not come naturally to him, he needs to make a con-scious effort to learn and practice the behavior expected of adults inour society.

KK: "'W'hen I first lived away from home, I remember being shockedthat the rest of the world didn't function the way my family did. Sincemost of my family was affected to some degree by ADD, we developeda style ohnq"ruction based on behavior that came naturally to us. Meal-times were a free-for.all, with everyone talking at once and no onelistening. Interrupting was normal behavior. It was a revelation to dis-cover that mosr people take tums talking and listening to each other!"

PR: "The ADD Council's hot-line coordinator recently shared a hu-morous anecdote with me. He had a conversation with a repeat callerwho usually spoke with one particular phone volunteer. When hesuggesred that the caller speak with the volunteer she had previouslyspoken to, she replied, "Oh, I don't have enough time to talk with"Melissa". She's been a great help but she'll talk so much and keep meon rhe phone so long that I'll forget the one question I needed to ask!"

I don't know who the phone volunteer was, but it could have beenme! As ADDers sometimes do, if I'm not careful, I can get carriedaway with a one-sided conversation. I become so involved with sharingmy advice and experiences that I forget the cardinal rule of effectivecommunication: LISTEN ING !

I have gorren much better at this but sometimes fall into old habits. Isometimes have to put my hand over the mouth piece of my phone tocue myself to stop talking. Perhaps the Council's phone line coordina'tor should teach this trick to his talkative volunteer!"

Even if an ADDer avoids clearly rude actions and bad manners, his sociallife can be hampered by the general fogginess of ADD. He may be un'able to clear the clouds sufficiently to really connect with other people."ls anyone home?". . ."Earth to Mark!". . ."'What a space cadet!". . . Hemay be so vague and dreamy that he doesn't seem to exist in the realworld.

He may be ridiculed for being out to lunch or rebuked for caring only

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about himself. He doesn't mean to be rude or uncaring but his failureto respond can look like selfishness.

social slippery spot #z-Tye lelephone: A great deal of dailycommunication is conducted by telephone. Telephones are a grearinvention but !h"y sometimes do a terrible disseivice to ADD"ers. It'snot that we fail to appreciate the convenience, but we're not too crazyabout the uncanny ability of a telephone ro change ou.p.rronalities!

.H""-" you ever met someone for the first time after talking to him onlyby phone and been amazed by the difference? Can rnir Utight, f"r.i-

--'

nating person really be the same character who seemed roi"il on thetelephone? What about the sparkling telephone conversationalist whobecomes almost mute in face-to-fu.J..counters?

Th: telephone can also cause a remarkable change in our dispositions.Perhaps you can identify with this phenomeno" 6f Telep,hone-Tiansfor-mation:

PR: "l suffer from TTTS: Testy, Telephone Tyrant syndrome! A ring-ing telephone can transform me into a mean, confrontational p.rro"]!f you are the unfortunate individual who walks into the ,oo* whenI'm o1 the phone, you will endure scathing looks. If you ,*k" th"mistake of making noise or talking to me, yJu'[ ..rdur" f", ra,orr.. Simplystated, I-get nastyl My children w"t.h in continual amazement as theirrelatively even-tempered mother transforms into a screamingmeanie!

I have never understood the power this inanimate object wields. \7henthe phone rings, I instantlv go into a srance of defenr. o, aitack. Iryait, hoping someone else will answer the incessanr ringing. After thethird or fourth ring, I relucta.-rly answer it, after urr.ro,,i..i?rg that"Nobody better interrupt me during this call.,' If my *;r;;g goesunheeded, my family is in for the asia,.rlt of the telephone-iyr".rtl"

KK: "Before either of us knew anything about ADD, my husbandused to accuse me of having a disease he called Phone-a-'Phobia. Heclaimed I inherited it from my mother who has simil". ry*proms.,,

A phobia is a fear out of proportion to the actual threat in a situation

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and people with phobias generally try to avoid the situations they fear.Some ADDers do avoid using the telephone. The avoidance, however,isn't a phobic reaction to inappropriate anxiety or fear-they havereal problems with telephone communication.

The problem is sometimes an inability to process the meaning of wordswithout the visual clues of body language. Telephone conversationsmay be peppered with silences, requests for the speaker to repeat himselfand charming phrases such as "l.Jh" and "um!" An ADDer may forgetto identify himseli leave out important information or abruptly endthe conversation.

An inability to filter out background noise also contributes to thedifficulty with telephone conversations. An ADDer can become atelephone ryranr as he fights to shut out noises and interruptions.Listening and making sense of communication is hard enough workwithout having to contend with outside interferences.

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9yrvival Tips for the Telephone

fh. telephone may never be yo,rr preferred mode of communicationbut there are some things you can io to make it more user-frie"Jrv.Here are a ftLEl"phone strategies that may reduce your pho.r"."-Phobia and TTTS:

t Rehearse and write down what you're going to say before you makea call-your greeting, the major points-you want to make and theway you'll politely end the conversarion.

o Keep your nores in front of you during the call to jog your memory.

t Stick to your script to avoid the "wandering" conversation.

t Make your phone calls in a quiet, distraction-free place. One personwe know had a phone jack installed in her bathroom so the ihi,.noise of the exhaust fan would block out distracrions. If you ,tvthis, don'r forg_"! one oery important detair. Telephoro

"r" elec-

trical devices. Used in water, they can have f", mor" serious conse-quences than Phone-a-Phobia and TTTSI

t If someone calls and catches you off guard, briefly excuse yourself,saying you'll have to switch phones,

".rsr., the door or return the

call later. Then take a few minures ro compose yourself and g"rh.,any written information you might need for the'conversation. Ifyou have taken the call in a noisy area of your house, take the timeto request quiet or switch to another phone.

With this-general framework of communication and interactions inplace, we'Il turn our attention to interfacing in group and one-to-oneencounters. As you consider these issues, your guiding principle shouldbe the theme of this book-maximizing your rt-r.rrgtli, and 1nirri-irirrgyour weaknesses. Don't attempt to become like folliwith ."1- rempera-ments. You'll fail miserably and lose sight of the plus side of your moralinventory. since we're advocates of the open bobk test, we encourageyou to keep,your inventory notes handy ai you conrinue readingl WE'fftest you at the end of the book. Only kidding. . .

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Relationships:A Play with Multiple Acts and a Cast of

Many Characters

If the world were filled with fellow ADDers, many of us would probablydo just fine in our relationships. With our personal experience withADD, we would understand the "quirks" of the ADDers around us. Ofcourse, the world is made up of many different kinds of people, manywho can't figure us out at all! If we're going to fit in, we have to figureout how to communicate with and relate to others.

You may need to completely reprogram your mental computer to im-prove its interfacing capabilities. You may have unique strengths inthis area and need only minor adjustments to your program. You mayalready be using your identified strengths to bypass any weaknesses inthis area of functioning. You may have a keen sense of humor andvivid imagination that attracts people and repairs the damage of asocial faux pas. You may be judiciously using your disinhibition-sayingor doing things other people censor-to develop a frank and open com-munication style that disarms others and puts them at ease.

Act I: Interfacingin Groups

\7e live, work and play in groups-families, social clubs, meetings andcommittees.

'SUe can't avoid these interactions even if we wanted to. If

you are like many bright, enterprising ADD adults, you may face groupsituations with about as much enthusiasm as you do a trip to the den-tist! What can you do to prevent the social suicide you fear? To helpyou with this issue, let's observe some social situations in action.

MichaelMichael is standing in a cluster of four people who have been talkingabout a variety of topics. He hasn't added much to the conversationbecause he doesn't know anything about the latest software or themovement to protect endangered caterpillars. His brain is racing tothink of something to say, before somebody asks him something he won'tknow how to answer.

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He is preoccupied with planning his verbal entrance ro rhe conver-sation and vaguely hears a comment about recenr activitv in the OqtalOffice. Since he's a builder with a specialty in cusrom renovation, heeagerly jumps in with his account of an inreresring circular room heonce built.

It suddenly occurs to him, halfway through his story, that somerhingisn't quite right. He looks up to see four faces etched with questionmarks! He gradually realizes the enormiry of his blunder and slinksaway with a half-hearted chuckle: "Oval Ofrice. . .White House. . .lknew that. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention."

AmandaBetween bursts of sma[ talk with her two companions, Amanda twistsaround to watch her friend Mlchael humiliate himself. She asks of noone in particular, "Can you believe he just said that?" She quicklyswitches gears as she observes that her companion's tie looks just likethe one her Uncle Joe used to wear. To her companion's commentabout the benefits of using glass instead of papeiproducrs, Amandaasks, "Do funeral direcrors recycle the dearly departed loved one'sclothingl The reason I'm asking is that your tielooks exacrly like theone Uncle Joe wore at his funeral."

she laughingly assures both men that she's only kidding and wondersif the_y've noriced how many people have already left tie parry and ifthey have any suggestions about what she should rav to Mi.hael aboutacting so stupid

ElizabethElizabeth is standing with a large group near the buffet table. An ani-mated conversation about the plight of the homeless is so engrossingthat everyone ignores the delicious food. Elizabeth is the onli p"rroiin the group who.isn't saying anyrhing. Her eyes look glazed und h".face is expressionless. To the woman *ho asks her opiiion about thisserious topic, she replies with a yawn, "Oh, I don't .""lly know." Some-one else offers to drive her home in case she's been drinking too muchand needs to sleep it off.

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Notes: Act I

Mental Gymnastics: Do you remember the discussion about dividingattention and shifting gears? They are a kind of mental athletics. Suc-cessful group interfacing depends on an ability to shift gears rapidly.The exchange of a conversation is a challenging task for an ADDerwho can't make quick mental adjustments. He has to follow the flowof talk as it bounces from person to person. He has to concentrateenough to understand what the speaker is saying. He also has to besure he doesn't get locked in. Otherwise, he comes to a grinding haltwhile the general conversation goes on without him.

Some of us take mental time outs to process the conversation. Remem,ber our slow reaction time? A break can give us time to deal with ourless than trustworthy memories.

'We may be so intent on frantically

rehearsing and remembering what we're going to say that we block outeverything else. \7e do mental handsprings as fast as we can. Unfortun-ately, we often end up interjecting seemingly irrelevant comments.'We're

talking about spring soccer when the conversation moved onfive minutes earlier to the winter Olympics.

Creative thinking also plays into the mental athletics. Rather thangetting locked in and taking a time out, an ADDer's mind may moveat breakneck speed, taking a detour at the end of the track! A commentduring the conversation stimulates an idea that sends him on a wild,imaginative journey. Several laps later he ends his little detour andshares some tidbit. His comment is greeted with either raised eyebrowsor replies of, "\fhat the H- - - are you talking about?"

The comment that makes perfect sense to him is incomprehensible tothe rest of the group. They didn't go on the mental journey with theADDer and don't know where he's been. If he's among friends, they'llprobably just shrug it off. If he's with strangers, they might wonderwhat planet he comes from!

Running Out of Gas: There are other reasons for an ADDer's diffi-culties with group interactions. The atmosphere of a group can beintensely stimulating. Impaired attention and a defective sensory filtercan be pushed beyond their capabilities. Attention can jump from a

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companion's perfume to the crackling fire across the room. \Uhereshould he focus-on the speaker's words or on the body language ofthe person standing nexr to him? Bombarded with sights and soundsfrom many different directions, his senses rapidly reach an uncomfort-able level of overload. Similar to a car climbing a long mounrain road,he quickly uses up his reserves of fuel. He may run out of mennlgas.

\

l-lt

-

Have you ever been in a stimulating group situation, feeling as if you'vejust taken a sleeping pill or gone into a coma?'Sfe have. k's as if thebody stays in the same spot while the brain goes off to a quiet cornersomewhere to rest and regroup. That's just great for your brain, butwhat about youl You end up standing there with a blank look and ayawn. You may not exactly endear yourself to the speaker who is shar-ing fascinating information.

It's not that the conversation is boring-although it might be! It's thatthe overstimulation of a group situation causes mental fatigue. Simplyput, an ADDer might either tune out or fall asleep. That's precisely

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what happened to Elizabeth who attributes her poor social skills to alack of sleep.

Cruise Controls Set on Mega,Speed: Conversely, the mental cruisecontrol may be flipped on and set way above the speed limit. ThePorsche is revved and ready to go! Foot in mouth disease escalates outof control as the ADDer barrels around the track, heedless of anyonewho might be in his way. With a poor sense of boundaries, he maycareen, literally and figuratively, into other people. He fidgets too much,talks too fast and drives everyone crazy with his intensity. The peoplearound him altemately view his behavior as amusing or annoying.

Impulsivity and disinhibition are sometimes atrempts to fend off mentalfatigue and maintain alertness. Of course, no one else knows that!Many of us often talk and act first and think later. As Amanda does,we may fill up physical and emotional space with our presence andchatter. Inappropriate, rude or silly remarks are out of our mouths beforewe know it! How many times have you said to yourself, "l can't believeI just said that."

Synopsis: Act I

It might seem that you process information too slowly when you're ina group conversation. Is it possible, however, that you process theinformation ln greater depth than others do? Do you make connectionsthat elude everyone else and have real value? It might seem that yourmental detours are inappropriate but that doesn't mean they're worth-less. Perhaps your tangents and wild leaps of imagination can lead thegroup to creative problem-solving.

And here's something interesting to think about. Are your problemsin groups caused by your deficits or by the rules for interaction that are illsuited to your sryle of thinking?

KK: "'!7ith professional experience as a group leader, I mentally gearedup for a difficult challenge when I agreed to start an ADD adult supportgroup. I pictured a group of people talking non-stop, interrupting eachother and jumping from topic to topic. I figured my main function asthe facilitator would be to referee.

What has happened is vastly different from what I imagined. The flowof ideas does jump around a lot but this doesn't seem to be an obstacle

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to the group process. Generally, the group as a whole is able to followthe logic of the conversation and sometimes moves it off into wonder-ful, productive tangents.The tempo is much faster than I have encoun-tered in other groups. But group members, often left behind in "normal"groups, are able to keep up with the speedy conversation."

Perhaps the logic of a non-ADD thinker is a different brand from anADDer's. His logic, formulated by the generalizations and connectionsof his distractions, may in some ways be superior to the logic taught inschool. It makes sense that if he could play by his own set of logicalrules, his communication would flow more freely.

The dance of conversation in an ADD group seems to move to musicentirely different from that of other groups. It seems to have its ownunique rhythm, tempo and patterns. Perhaps we ADDers don't needdancing lessons after all. We may just need to dance to our own ADDbeat!

If you have an ADD friend, get together and enjoy the dance you share.Of course, you can't always dance to your own beat just as you can'talways do what your impulses drive you to do. Since you can't avoidbeing in groups of non-ADDers, you'll have to learn some of the con-ventional steps. Here are some survival tips that might help you onthe dance floor.

Survival Tips for Act I

Be Prepared: Before you arrive at the social gathering, make sureyou're prepared. Start taking notes as a newspaper reporter would.Find out who will be there and write down their names, occupations,interests, etc. If you're lucky, somebody else who loves radio controlledrace cars as much as you do, will be in attendance. Ask about the dress"code" so you won't arrive in jeans if everyone else will be wearingsuits and ties. Make sure you write down the date and time of thegathering! Arriving for a dinner party an hour late will definitely notwin rave reviews from your host.

Do Your Homework: If your mind and mouth inexplicably shutdown in group settings, rehearse ahead of time. Part of this rehearsal

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should be keeping up, at least superficially, with current events. Thisdoesn't mean you have to sit down on a daily basis with the lengthyNew York Times. It does mean that you should know that the changingru,rcIear farrily isn't a topic about folk glowing in the dark with radiationpoisoning!

The value in having an awareness, however vague, of names, placesand events in the news is that it provides a file of information on whichyou can draw. If the subject tums to the primaries, you won't interjecta comment about your son's experiences in the primary grades of yourlocal school. Instead, you might offer, "Campaign activity is reallyheating up, isn't it? I haven't seen the paper the past few days. Is thereanything new going on?"

Practice: Rehearsing means just that. Write a script. Rehearse. Prac-tice. When you arrive, what will you say to the host? How will you joina conversationl \7hat words will you usel How will you introduce your-selfl How will you respond to the inquiry "\Uhat do you do for a living,Don?" Develop a standard script for these questions that come up ingroups. Then practice it with a spouse or friend or in front of a mirror.

When you work on your script, consider ways you can respond to infor-mation shared by others. After you've answered the inquiry about whatyou do for a living, how do you respond when somebody tells you abouthis 1ob?

Someone aslcs: "What da you do for aliving, Don?"You stnrt JoLu script: "I restore anaqte furniune. What's your job, Fred?"Fred replies: "I am a media center specialist."You comment: "Oh, really. . ."

The conversation stops dead in its tracks. What happens now? Ratherthan feeling uncomfortable and trying to fill the dead space with ram-bling, you can refer to your memorized script of canned responses. Ques-tions are excellent because they keep the conversation going and drawattention away from you. Generic comments can bail you out if youhave no idea what a media center specialist is. A rehearsed list ofquestions and comments can also help with any problems youhave with monopolizing conversations. Try some of these scripts and

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add some of your own:

"How did you get interested in that area?""I don't know very much about thnt field.work entail?"

lYhat exactlJ does your

"Haqte you always done this work or did Jou stert off in a differentfieLd?"

"Tltat sounds like an interesting job. Can you tell me more about it?"

The focus of the conversation will probably come back to you afterthis question and answer period. By then you should have found somefamiliar territory and will be able to talk comfortably about a subjectyou know. You may get in a bind and exhaust the items in your script.If this happens, you can excuse yourself to make a phone call or to askthe host something. Include these emergency exit techniques duringyour rehearsal. Also include your spouse or friend in your practicesessions so you'll have someone to bail you out when you need help.

If you're a member of a support group, you can leam about your behav-ior by watching yourself. Arrange for a video or audio recording ofyour group's interactions. Although the camera might be somewhatdistracting, you can leam a lot when you review thi tape.

This is a valuable process not only for reviewing what you did wrong,but what you did right! If you're a member of an ongoing suppoft group,you might be able to tape a series of sessions. You can use the tapes tomonitor your progress as you practice new ways of behaving. Of course,this idea presupposes that you feel comfortable in the group and thatnone of the members objects to being taped.

Watch and Listen: \7hen you're with an unfamiliar group of people,initially keep a low profile. Look and listen a lot and talk very little.Watch the others to see how they behave. Find out how much personalinformation people share with each orher and try to figure our anyunspoken rules. Most groups have informal codes of conduct thatgovem the behavior of members. The hidden code may tell you whichsubjects are taboo, where to sit or even how to dress.

\7e don't advocate blind conformity to rules or buying into the idea

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that you must fit in. It will be up to you to decide whether to continueyour association with a particular group. You can, however, make areasonable attempt to be cordial and respectful of the group's rules atleast for one evening. If nothing else, use the evening to practice yourconversational skills.

Watch Your Watch: Focus on the speaker. Force yourself to makeeye contact. Play close attention to the dance of conversation anddon't give a solo per6ormance. Before you start talking, make sure thatyou aren't interrupting. Make it a practice to ask the speaker if he hasfinished before you jump in and cut off his next thought.

Wear a watch with a second hand and unobtrusively note how longeach person speaks. \Uhen it's your turn, time yourself. Set a mentalalarm clock to ntrn yowself off rf you exceed your allotted time. WatclungJoltx watch can also help you maintain focus as it gives you somethingto do. In case somebody watches you watching your watch, you canalways claim that the battery seems to be wearing out. It's better towear out your battery than your audience!

Watch Your Wandering: Pay close attention to the number of tan-gential joumeys you take so you won't start jumping all over, monopo.lizing the conversation. In a safe group of friends, ask someone tosignal you when you're getting off track. If all else fails and you'reoff and running before you know it, acknowledge your rambling. S"ysomething like, "Boy, my mind is really on a mental marathon, isn't it?Sorry about that. . ."

Work on Your Reading Skills: Remember that people communicatethrough verbal and non-verbal channels. You'll need to practice read-ing both kinds of language. The verbal channel uses the voice as rheinstrument to produce words while body language and facial expres-sions provide valuable clues about the impact of your behavior.

If you notice a look of horror, it's a good bet that your words sent anunintended message-unless of course, you wanted a particular reac-tion! Immediately apologize if you know your words were impulsive. Ifyou hate to apologrze, grit your teeth and do it anywayl Think of it asbalancing your checkbook or doing pushups. It's not fun but it makeslife easier in the lons run.

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If you don't know what caused the negative reaction, ask! You couldsay, "I noticed you frowned when I said such and such. Is there a prob.lem?" An altemative is to make a joke about your impulsivity. Youcould say something like, "l have a bad case of foot in mouth diseasetoday. Please let me know if I've said or done anyrhing out of line." Alighthearted approach can make it easier for the other person to pro-vide feedback about your behavior.

Welcome the Feedback: \7hen you receive the feedback, LISTENTO IT! The advice is three simple words. Responding appropriately tocomments about your behavior, however, is anything but simple! Yourtendency might be to put up your shield and go into auto'defense andattaak mode. You really should try to leave your shield at home or inthe trunk of your car. Remember, you can't do this all by yourself. Youneed help.

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Think of this learning process as therapy. In physical therapy, forinstance, the slogan used to inspire patients is, "No pain, No gain."And of course, comments don't have to be negative. Don't be afraid toask for positive feedback as well and don't forget to thank the personfor taking the time to help you.

Careful listening is hard, accepting criticism is harder and changingyour behavior is the hardest of all. But these are essential parts of yourrecovery. Using feedback to change your behavior can have a powerful,positive impact on your social success.

Carefully Choose Your Social Activities: If you feel washed up andwom out after every social event, it might be time to reread the sec-tion on balance. Be honest with yourself. Do you attend these functionsbecause you want to or because you feel compelled to? \fhen anacquaintance shares his very full social calendar, do you feel somehowthat you just don't measure up socially?

There may be some social events that you must attend. Prepare care-fully for these and do the best you can, but Just Say "No" to rhe others.Be selective and base your decision on a realistic assessment of yourabilities and disabilities. Small group gatherings may work better for you.

This doesn't mean you should give up on learning and practicing yourinterfacing skills. You will need them everywhere from PTA meetingsto office planning sessions. Just remember that there isn't a rule requiringyou to be a social butterfly.

Act II: Interfacing in One,to,One Encounters

Some of us prefer large group interactions that enable us to remain some-what anonymous.

'We may feel far less comfortable in one-to-one rela-

tionships because it's impossible to hide. Our carefully constructedshields don't work well in close relationships that illuminate our short-comings.

Even if your experiences in relationships have been unsuccessful, don'tresign yourself to solitary confinement. If you've been working hard atyour recovery, you have knowledge and skills you may have lacked

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before. Your newfound understanding about your balance sheet cansupport you as you risk the self-disclosure inherent in developing closerelationships. You can be successful if you're aware of the potentialpitfalls and design strategies to avoid them.

In Act II, we'll study some other relationships in action. These are theone-to-one encounters with friends and acquaintances. Let's see whatwe can leam from them.

KenKen looks up to see Paul walking down the aisle. He runs over him,expressing surprise and delight to see him again so soon after their firstmeeting. He asks if Paul received the three messages he left for him onhis answering machine yesterday. He invites Paul to dinner thatevening and without waiting for an answer, begins asking what hisnew friend would like to eat. Ken begins telling his new friend all aboutthe cooking classes he's taking and what he's leamed about designinghealthy menus.

CarolynCarolyn invites Jason, her new neighbor to join her for a cup of coffee.She talks briefly about the neighborhood and comments that she'ssure he'll like it much better than where he used to live. Jason tellsher that he'll miss the cookouts he used to have with his three neigh-bors. Carolyn responds by telling him not to worry about it. She tellshim that in this neighborhood, fifteen families share a block partyevery summer! Carolyn refills her coffee but doesn't notice that Jason'sis empty. She responds to his story about the tree house his son builtin their old yard, by gazing out her back door. She advises, "'V7ell, I betwith my son's help, your boy will be able to build a really great treehouse in his new backvard."

Notes: Act II

Many of the rules for interactions are the same for both group andindividual encounters.

'We must take tums listening and speaking,

watch for non-verbal behavior and monitor verbal and non-verbalcommunication. Beyond these similarities, though, individualinteractions require somewhat different skills.

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Is your friendship mode similar to Carolyn's or Ken's? Don't worry ifyou identify with either of them because they have a lot going for them.With some refinements, they could develop good interaction skills.

Ken shows genuine affection for Paul and is willing to work hard atdeveloping this new friendship. What he needs to do is work equallyhard at not working so hard! He needs to learn to redirect his foc.rs'from his needs to his friend's needs.

Then there's Carolyn. Desperately wanting her new neighbor to likeher and his new neighborhood, she overwhelms him with her intensiry.She needs to think about her words and review the messages she sends.She needs to watch Jason's body language and note his attemprs toadd comments to her one-way conversation. By singing the praises ofher neighborhood, she's trying to help him adjusr ro his new home.Jason's body language would give her a good clue that she's sending anunintended message of boasting and "one-uppi.tg".

Synopsis of Act II

There's both good news and bad news for an ADDer in one to onesocial interactions. The good news is that these encounters put fewerdemands on the ability to switch gears-there are fewer details to trackand fewer people to read. The bad news is that runing our is moreobvious-the focus is on him with no one to run interference! Hecan't afford to take mind detours because there's no one to pick up andcarry the conversational ball.

If you haven't come to terms with your disorder, one-to-one communi.cation can be particularly scary. You might talk yourself into failure.

"Whnt if she doesn'tlike me?""I don'thaqte anJthinginteresting to say,"

"He's a professor andl barely finishedhigh school!""What if I forget her name?"

"What if I run out of rhings to say?"

Engaging in negative self-talk is destructive because you look at onlyone side of your equation. Never forget the other side of your balance

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sheet! Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or whether youthink you can't, you're right." If you run from potential friendships,you're acting and believing you can't On the other hand, if you affirmyourself as a capable person who happens to have some disabilities,you are acting and believing Jou can.

Many of us have excellent people skills. 'We

can leam to be great lis-teners, locking in our focus to give a flattering level of attention to theother person. The rhythm of the exchange is slower and easier to fol-low in one-to-one encounters. \7e can focus intently, noticing thingsthat others miss and offering sensitive and empathic support.

You may be fortunate to have a close friend. You may have severalclose friends. But if your friendships are rocky or shorter-lived thanyou'd like them to be, you may need to get to work. As you think aboutyour own skills in one-to-one relationships, consider these tips. Theymay be useful and give you added confidence in these situations.

Survival Tips for Act II

Relax and Listen: Don't feel you have to fill every second with con-versation. ADDers tend to go to extremes, talking a mile a minute orcompletely tuning out. Some silence is okay. If you check out alto-gether, your companion will think you're uninterested in what he hasto say.

The key to maintaining a correct balance between the two extremes isacrive listening. Active listening enables you to interact without fillingup the conversation with your words. Send a message that you arelistening and interested in what your companion has to say by nod-ding your head, leaning forward and maintaining eye contact.

Watch his body language and pay attention to the message it sends. In-terject comments that let your companion know that you are listening.

"Go on" . . ."TeIl me more" . . ,"CoLLld you explnin that a Little more?"

If you find yourself talking excessively or feeling uncomfortable at alull in the conversation, share your confusion:

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" Am I nlking too much? . . . I'ue run out of things to talk about. . .Do youhnve any ideas?"

Clarify the Message: Remember that communication is an art form.The clarity of the message has an impact on the listener's understand-ing. Moreover, each of us interprets language from an individual frameof reference. The intent of the message can be misinterpreted regard-less of how clearly it is stated.

Statement: "Things &re a mess in this house."

"He's accusing me of being a slob."Possible "He's telhing me to clean up the house."

Interpretations: "He's just noticing and commenting on the snte ofthe house."

Although history may supporr the first sraremenr, don'r jump ro con-clusions. To avoid communication misunderstandings, clarify the wayyou interpreted the message-restate it in your own words.

Restated "#

l(rT;tr tfi,irlr,t,Yt I shoutd do something about

Interpretations: "Wen you said that, I thougfu you were criticiTing me.Is that true?"

Ef fec t ive ( ( r . t | . r " ( ( r

Clarification: "I thought Jou said..." or "Were you saying ..."

Avoid ttFightin' Words": 'We

talked about the importance of activelistening. To ensure that your companion will interpret your messageaccurately, take great care with the words you use. One sure-fire methodfor shutting down the channels of communication is using the words"yo,, always" or "you never'l Strike them from your vocabulary unlessyou want a full scale battle to eruptl These words feel threatening andaccusatory. They assign blame and create feelings of defensiveness. Evenif your spouse rarely remembers your anniversary, he has been aroundfor fifteen years and remembering dates may be difficult for him.

A better technique is to rephrase your words as l-messages to commun-icate your feelings about how something affects you. !7hen you use

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You-messages, you direct the focus to your listener and force him toargue his position. Here are some examples of the differences betweenthese two kinds of messages:

I,rt€ssflge: "When you didn't call yesterdnJ , I wondered tf you weremad at me."

You,message3 "YILL neuer caLI when Jou say you wiIL"

I,rrr€ssa ge: "When you stnrt nlking bef ore I' m finished , I f eeL tltnt wl'tatI haqte to say is unimportarLt"

You,message: "Why do you intenupt me aLl the time?"

lUatch your listener's body language. If he looks puzzled, stop talking.Ask him to clarifu his understanding of what you said. He may be hear-ing something very different from what you're trying to say.

There are many other useful communication techniques but we hopeyou get the idea from these examples. It might be helpful to increaseyour learning experiences by taking part in a class or group that prac-tices these skills. The communications department of a local univer-sity would be a good place to look for this kind of training.

Watch Your Intensity Level: ADD adults can be intense, passionateand single-minded about personal interests. If you're not careful, youcan scare a calmer person to death!

Be cautious when you find yourself discussing one of your favoritesubjects or pet peeves. If you find the other person mentally orphysically backingoff,lighten up! Tell a joke, ask a question or changethe subject.

An ADDer can get carried away with a topic because of his intensity.It can also cause a more general problem that pervades the whole re-lationship. He often overwhelms other people with the ferocity of hisfriendship. He might shower a friend with sincere, but excessive flatterythat leaves him feeling embarrassed or wondering if we're really teasing.As Ken does, he might get physically too close, oblivious to the otherperson's need for space.

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lJ tAp rBulru r!3t nu '

Slow Down: Even if an ADD adult is adept at verbal and non-verbalcommunication, he can have difficulty maintaining a friendship overthe long haul. He doesn't want to wait for the natural progression ofphases in developing relationships. He may not be amuned to thepacing and gradual easing into involvement, trying ro ger roo close,too fast.

If this is a problem for you, it may help to keep a diary or calendar thattracks your behavior in friendship-making. Don't just pick up the phoneto call your new acquaintance until you check your joumal. Pencil inwhen you make a contact and jot down notes about the encounter, pay-ing particular attention to the other person's response. Indicate in yourjoumal a date for your next contact and don't call or drop in beforethat date!

In the next chapteq we'll move on to relationships in the workplace.Although our focus will be on issues of inter{acing and communication,we'll also do a brief task analysis. \7e'11 look at some of your jobs on thejob and offer some suggestions for improving your skills in some of them.\7e'll also look at your relntionship to yaur job to help you analyze anyfailures you may be experiencing. This analysis will include an impor-tant question. Are you failing on your job or is your job failing you?

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lnterfacing in ActionlGettine Along on the Job

Cur."r, can be made or desffoyed according to how well we get alongwith other people on the job. \Uork relationships are an interestingvariation on the theme of interfacing. There are elements of both one-to-one relationships and group interactions. The one-to-one relation-ships of employees aren't close friendships but require similar main-tenance over time. Likewise, the group interactions of employees aredifferent from social gatherings in that they are ongoing.

In the one-to-one relationships of friendships you can choose the peoplewith whom you'll share your time and personal involvement. The sameis true of the social gatherings you attend-you can choose to skip aparty if you aren't crazy about the people who will be there. But youcan't choose the employees with whom you'll interact and you can'tchoose the meetings you'll attend. You have to interact with your co-workers in a variety of settings.

The workplace is a social arena and arguably a political one as well.Success on the job requires good interpersonal relationships and anabihty to understand the "politics" within the work setting. These dy-namics create some unique problems for an ADDer with shaky com.munication skills. With her friends, she can count on a degree of under-standing about her ADD. With her colleagues, she has to manage herdeficits with great finesse.

As an adult with ADD, your success in the work world is also largelydependent on how well you get along with your job. Because of yourparticular deficits and differences, you have to carefully build a safetynet for your job as you do for the other parts of your life. Are there

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some strategies you can use to improve the quality of your work? Howcan you make your job work for you? Is your job the best match foryour particular abilities and disabilities? In this chapter, we'll expandinterfacing to include these specific aspects of iob managemenr.

Act III: Getting Along on the Job

DianeDiane found her niche in sales and quickly became a rop saleswoman.Single-handedly, she increased the sales' volume of her d"putt-".,tafter being on the job only a few months. Her hard work and talentswere rewarded with large commissions, bonuses and a promotion tothe position of Sales Manager.

Three months later, Diane started taking aspirin on a daily basis andconsidered getting back into therapy. She recently found a crumpledpiece of paper on the floor and is trying to figure out what to do ubo.rtit. The paper is a caricature of her drawn by one of her salesm-en. Inthe picture, she_ is towering over her sales force, clutching a huge mega-phone in both hands. \7ords are shooting out of the -egaphon"

"r,lraining down like fireworks on her "subjects" below.

Notes: Act III

Diane is a hardworking, energetic and crearive ADD woman. She's anexcellent employee whose performance has been noted and rewardedby her superiors. So what is going wrong for her?

There are probably a number of explanations for the problems Dianeis experiencing in her job. The most obvious is that her managerialskills aren't as good as her selling skills. Selling a product isn'r th. ,u*.as selling people on one's ideas for managing a sales force. Diane's socialdeficits may have caught up with her. Although she rose rapidly ro anadministrative position, she is leaming that staying up there is tricky.

Diane's impulsivity may play a role in her problems. She is a can-dowomzln who is used to getting the job done-nowl \fhen her sales peopledon't solve problems as fast as she does, she grabs her megaphort.

"ndstarts issuing directives. She greets a question about her poftcies as a

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hindrance to her sales' figures. She can't understand why some of heremployees refuse to work the same fifty or sixty hours she does everyweek. She rants and raves that she has to do the work or it wouldnever get done.

Synopsis: Act III

The work environment is a mini-society govemed by rules formulatedro prorect the rights and establish the responsibilities of the people whowork there. The relationships in a work environment are affected by thepositions people hold, individual personalities and 1ob responsibilities,and multiple interpersonal relationships. Although ADD adults mayhave some unique problems in this work setting, they are only one partof the equation.

Large, complex organizations have a great potential for breakdown.Many people are part of work relationships and some of them also haveADD or other disabilities. This makes for some very interest-inginterfacing! Consider, for example:

The boss who neqter seems to Listen md who asl<s tlrc impossible of you.

The coworker who doggedly sdcks to her job description euen whendeadlines loom and colleagues are desperate for help.

The boss who contimnlly makes his emergencJ, yorlrs.

The coworker who adnmantly refuses to take responsibility for ascrew-up.

There isn't much you can do about the hidden agendas of fellow em-ployees. If you remember that you're only one piece of the puzzle, youcan view a situation from its proper perspective. \7hen a work relation-ship unravels, you shouldn't assume that it's exclusively your fault-oryour unreasonable colleague's. Perhaps she's struggling with deficitssimilar to yours. As an adult with ADD, you should be sensitive to theneeds of colleagues who might also have hidden disabilities.

\7hat does all this mean for you? It means you really have your workcut out for you! To be successful in the world of work, you'll need toreview many of the things we've talked about in previous sections ofthis book. Review your inventory and pay close attention to your bal-

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ance sheet. It will be an invaluable framework as you begin to developyour management strategies. If Diane paid attention to hers, she mightdecide to give up the higher pay and execurive title to do what shedoes best-sell products. Let's take a look at some ideas for dealingwith problems in the world of work.

Sunzival Tips: Act III

Rules, Procedures and PoliciesMany ADDers harc to swallow these bitter pills-unfortunarely there'sno way to sweeten them! Unless you own your company, you have toplay by someone else's rules. You have to follow company rules, proce.dures and policies because you don'r work in isolation.

Much as you may hate your policy handbook, study it anyway. It out-lines your companyt system of govemment and chain of ssrnrnxni-things such as who reports to whom and areas of individual respon-sibilities.You can't leave rhis homework undone! You must be veryclear about where you fit within the overall structure to avoid over-stepping your bounds or failing ro carry our your responsibilities.

Make Sense of the Rules: Don't arbitrarily ignore the rules that don'tmake sense to you. lUork at trying to understand their rationale. \Uhenyou're away from work, talk with your spouse or a close friend aboutthem. Make a list of all the policies you disagree with and analyze eachof them. Do some have validity for the organization as a whole eventhough you personally disagree with them? If so, you'll have to leamto live with them.

Perhaps you can set up a reward system as a motivating tool. You maydecide that not being allowed to listen to rock music in the office istotally unfair. You can't change the rule but you can reward yourselffor following it by treating yourself to a favorite tape during your break.

Question the Rules Carefully: You've probably heard the adage,"Rules are made to be broken." \7e suggest you modify the wordsslightly: "Rules are made to be changed." If a rule doesn't seem to makesense for you individually or for the company as a whole, question it.Make sure your communication skills, particularly your listening skills,are solidly in place. Think through the rule you're disputing and ap-

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proach the appropriate person with your question. And then listen.

If you receive the response,". . .because I'm your boss," you can forgetabout doing anything beyond swallowing your objections and toeingthe line. On the other hand, if your superior offers information youhad overlooked, thank her for entertaining your ideas. At least, you'llhave a reading on her as someone who is willing to negotiate. Thedoor will be open for future exchanges.

Sell Your Ideas: Although it's unwise to challenge authority at everytum, questioning policies and procedures can be a positive quality.Just don't move too fast. Keep your impulsivity in check and proceeds-l-o-w-l-y and tactfully. Don't start shaking things up after you'vebeen on your new job exactly forty-five minutes!

No one in the company will buy your ideas if you are an unknownquantity. First, you should demonstrate your loyalty and dependability.\7ork on building positive relationships. Spend time keeping a lowprofile and doing what you're expected to do. Arrive at work on time,take one hour for lunch and not a minute more, and don't take advan-tage of your sick days. After you've eamed the respect of your super-iors and coworkers, you can start making suggestions for change.

If you have a great proposal, try it out on a trusted person in the infor-mal office network to see if it's workable. She can help you evaluate itsmerits and confirm that you've included all the necessary facts beforeyou formally present it.

Letting the boss think she came up with your idea is a time honoredmethod to facilitate change. A carefully conceived proposal that fo-cuses on the benefits for her as an individual and the company as awhole, can also work. Make sure you do your homework first. If youcome up with a new system for order processing without bothering tofind out that old one is your boss's "baby," you probably won't be inher good graces!

Unwritten Rules, Procedures and PoliciesYou won't find everything you need to know in the company's policyhandbook. Much of the vital information is unwritten and is part ofan informal network of office politics, rules, procedures and policies.This network is the office grapevine that reflec$ the complex dynamics

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of the people who work together. It holds the inside information aboutthe real power structure in an organization. For instance, a secretarywho isn't officially high on the chain of command, may wield enor.mous power. With detailed knowledge about the company and readyaccess to the boss, she may have great influence within the company.The real chain of command may operate through her, bypassing thevice-president who is simply a figure-head.

Get Inside the Inner Circle: If you have trouble figuring out theinformal network, develop a relationship with someone who seems toknow what's going on. Gradually draw her out to leam how the com-pany operates. Take it easy, though. Usually the employees in "theknow" are old-timers who have eamed their status and play their rolesto the hilt. If you try to make an instant friendship or start grillingsomeone over lunch, you may find her unwilling to divulge her know-ledge. You'll need to earn her respect to enter the inner circle.

Follow the Unwritten Rules: If written policy dictates that memosshould be sent to Mr. S and Ms. T, don't fail to send one to Mr. R. if theunwritten rules call for it. It won't sit well with your boss or employees ifyou fail to let them know what you're doing or forget to share vital in-formation. They don't know or care about your memory problems andattention deficits. They'lI view you as an arrogant employee who won'taccept authority or consider the opinions or feelings of subordinates.

Make a list of these informal procedures. Use your checklist to be sureyou're following proper formal and informal procedures. Better still,you may want to carry a small calendar or notebook where you keepthese confidential materials, especially if employees in your work sitedon't lock their desks.

Technology and CommunicationSince we've already talked about the dynamics of communication invarious relationships, we won't repeat ourselves. Review the informa-tion about communication skills and continually practice and rehearse.Our discussion and suggestions here will be the dimensions of commu-nication that are somewhat unique to work settings.

Communication is the transmission of messages from one person orgroup to another. lfe've focused on communication as spoken wordsand body language but in the workplace, it is frequently in the form of

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written expression. Businesses have always relied on written documen.tation and record-keeping. Now there's a high tech twist-the pricesheet is faxed, the ad is scanned, the memo is E-mailed and the reportis networkedl This is another good news/bad news situation for ADDers.

For the Good News-High tech equipment, particularly the computer,may be the best thing that's ever happened to an ADDer. k won't purgas in your car before your business trip but it can remind you to do it!It will check the spelling and grammar of your letters and send thecontents, already formatted, to the printer. You don't even have to waitimpatiently at the door for the mail carrier. In a flash, your computer orfax machine with a little help from the telephone company, can sendinquiries and receive responses.

For the Bad News-Haqte youheard rhe joke about the employee whogot his ne caught in the fax machine and" ended uD in Neq, Yorkt Threethings may have happened when you read this little tidbit:

1. Nothins, ilr*:#:fi:,'lif;;:ff""1,:".""'e vou

If fax machines had this capability, you can think2. You laughed: of at least one person in your office who would rou-

tinely end up in another state.

If fax machines had this capability, you know that3. You cried: the person routinely ending up in New York would

be you.

Each of these responses illustrates the disadvantages of modem technol-ogy. E-mail, networking, scanning and faxing may mean absolutelynothing to you. This isn't a reflection of your IQ! It's mind-bogglinghow rapidly new methods for transmitting information have developed.

\Uhile this book isn't a training manual for high tech equipment, itwouldn't be complete without a discussion about technology's impacton communication. Even if you approach a TV remote control withfear and trepidation, you might have to use the fax machine and tele-phone that have more buttons than the front of your shirt!

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Let's take a quick tour of the world of high tech computers and theirrelatives. What can and can't they dol How can you leam to use themso you don't fax yourself out of state or maneuver yourself out of a job-you know, when your cartoon of your boss Diane inadvertently endsup on her computer screen instead of your buddy's ? And finally, howcan you use them to your advantage?

Computer and ADD Compatibility: Computers are similar to people.They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. Each has its own"personality" and communication style. If your office uses several dif-ferent kinds of computers, you might have a choice about which kindto use. Matching your leaming style to your computer is important.

Briefly, you communicate through a Macintosh computer with meta-phors (visual channel) and an IBM with words (auditory channel). Ifyou're starting out on either one and having a terrible time, don't jumpto the conclusion that you are computer illiterate! You and your

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computer may simply have communication problems because oflearning styles' incompatibility.

Written Expression-Memos, Letters and Reports: A compurercan perform incredible feats if you arc computer comfortable. You mayfind it very helpful in your job. It can relieve you of the tedium of de-tails and become your personal secretary. Even if you use spell checkersand word processing programs, however, you might continue to haveproblems with written expression.

If the writing requirements of your job are primarily intemal memosand business letters, consider buying an easy to use software package oftemplates. Templates are prepared generic letters for everything fromorder confirmations to congratulations for a colleague's job promotion.With the software, you choose a template that matches your need,change the names and dates, and presto-you have a polished businessdocument. In the appendix of this book we've listed several availablesoftware packages. Check with your dealer or the adults in your supportgroup for other suggestions.

If your responsibilities include writing reports and other more complexdocuments, you can still use various templates as your framework butwill need to do the actual writing yourself. Remedial writing classes mayhelp you work on shaky writing skills. Consider working with a tutor orchecking out continuing education classes at your local university.

You should also remember to use some of the bypass strategies we talkedabout in previous chapters. If you have a secretary, dictate your letters.Otherwise try using a tape recorder to "write" your first drafts. Yourideas may flow more easily if you talk first and write later. Show yourwork to a sympathetic colleague for a critique before you send it out.

Don't forget to use bartering as a tool to bypass your weak writing skills.For example, you can collaborate with a coworker who writes clearlybut has problems generating original ideas. Together you may be ableto write reports that outshine any either of you could produce alone.

Office Equipment and Cheat Sheets: Many people have troubleusing mechanical or technical equipmenr. This isn'r exclusively aproblem for folk with ADD. But some of the ADD differences do

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compound the problem.

You've seen how increasing complexity has an impact on your perfor-mance. This is true whether you're doing math problems, interactingwith large groups of people or figuring out how to use a complicatedtelephone system.

Related to this is an impaired memory. How many times have you ap-proached the duplicating machine to hand-feed a two-sided documentand couldn't remember how to do it? Ten tries later, with the waste-basket overflowing with pages reversed and printed upside down, youfinally get it right! Not only have you wasted an entire package ofpaper, you've also wasted valuable time.

You probably should make a cheat sheet for yourself. Make a list orchart of the procedures and tape it to the top of the duplicating mac-hine. If you share the machine with others, you may need to keep yourset of directions in your desk drawer. Do the same thing for the faxmachine, telephone, etc. You might find that this memory by-passsystem ultimately helps you to memorize the procedure because youuse multi-sensory leaming as an anchor. You see the directions as youperform them.

Work,Related Stress and ADDAn ADDer's boss may compliment her on the quality of her work butexpress concem about the quality of her relationships with coworkers.Superiors and subordinates alike might complain that working withher is difficult. They are probably commenting on her general irrita-bility and moodiness which are, of course, symptomatic of her disorder.

These symptoms typically get worse as demands from the environmentincrease. Although the symptoms can't be eliminated, their severitycan be minimized by managing stress levels in the work environment.The general strategies taught in stress management programs are usefulbut there are others more specific for the unique problems of ADDers.

Noise, Doors and Telephones: First, try to figure out the source ofyour stress. If the source is everything about your job, you might be inthe wrong vocation! Our guess is that noise probably contributes agreat deal to your stress. Intrusions of noise can be very distracting

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and irritaring.

If you have an office with a door you can shut for periods of time, takeadvantage of it! There are important reasons for keeping your dooropen. An opened door sends the message that yor,

"r" "rr"il"bl. as an

active participant in the work environment. But you have to balancethe need to maintain work relationships with your need for quiet tohandle the details of your job.

Explain to your coworkers that you can't concentrate on detailed workwhen there is excessive noise. Then close your door. You don't have totell them about your ADD. Many people are bothered by noise andwill understand your need to work without interruption. Just make itclear that this is your problem. You haven'r closed iout dbor becauseyou don't like your coworkers!

Your shouldn't retreat behind your closed door any longer rhan abso-lutely_necessary._\7hen the detailed concenrrarior, *oik is over, openyour door, literally and figuratively. Don't allow yourself ro ger so in-volved with a task that you snarl at a colleague who comes in for aconsultation.

You will win brownie points if you're only available during cerrainhours but are calm and welcoming when your door is operi. Even ifthis means taking some of your work home, it may be wbrth it if youcan minimize your stress during work hours.

Tb. same principle applies ro rhe telephone. Your work quality andtelephone manners might improve if you schedule a designated rimefor handling telephone calls. You'll accomplish much mo"re withoutthe constant interruptions. Before your scheduled telephone time,you'll have time to gather everything you'll need to handle the calis ina friendly and efficient manner.

You may be thinking, _"These ideas sound great, but I don't have anycontrol over my schedule" or "l don't even have my own office". If youwork in an open_area where you can't close the door, is it possible foryou to wear headphones when you need to concentrate? You could lis.ten to music as you work or a tape of white noise if music is distracting.

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Your boss might be more amenable to suggestions if you offer them asways to improve your efficiency. Document your increased produc-tivity to convince her that these strategies really work. Again, youdon't have to share your diagnosis unless you're confident she'll act onyour disclosure in a positive way.

If you feel that you have no control over your schedule, are you abso-lutely sure that's the case? A number of corporations have experimentedwith designated hours for employee phone calls. They have foundthat the decrease in interruptions throughout the day improves pro-ductivity. Approach your boss about this. Ask if your office or groupcould experiment with designated phone hours or even designatedquiet time for work that requires heavy concentration.

Talk with coworkers to find out if noise and interruptions bother them.Chances are, they probably also have trouble with excessive distrac-tions. Enlist their support. You may be able to make changes in yourworkplace that will make the environment more user-friendly for every-one. It may be surprising to you, but these strategies are taught in time-management courses. You may elicit support for these changes underthe guise of wanting to manage your time more effectively.

If you try everything and still can't control the noise and intermptions,rhink seriously about looking for a new job or even a different line ofwork. The stress level from a highly distracting environment can be athreat to your mental health. Are you failing or is your work failing you?

Miscellaneous StrategiesFor ease of reading we've tried to group the management strategiesinto categories. The ones that follow don't really fit anywhere else, sowe've included them together in this section.

Thke Your Medicine: This probably goes without saying, but if youneed to take medicine to manage your symptoms, make sure you takeit during your work hours. Your ability to handle details and interrup-tions will improve. Moreover, the condition of your finger nails andthe anxiety of your office mate will probably also improve! As an ADDadult, you may not be in perpetual motion anymore but may havemasrered the art of foot tapping, finger drumming and knuckle cracking.

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This constant fidgeting can be exrremely annoying to other people.These behaviors are definitely not conducive to improving interpersonalwork relationships.

Manage Your Symptoms: Actively work on your problematic ADDbehaviors to decrease them or make them less notic""bl". Try substitutinga behavior that is less distracting to other people. Can you move yourhands or swing your leg under the desk so that no one sees you doing it?Thpping your fingers against each other is quieter than kickrng your deskor drumming your fingers on the desktop. Can you gnaw on the top ofyour pencil so you look as if you are deeply engrossed in your work?

How about using your "closed door time" to spin happily on your deskchair? What about carefully spaced trips to the warer fountain, filecabinet or duplicating machine? Volunteer ro run needed errands. Findacceptable excuses to ger up from your desk periodically.

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Control Your Foot in Mouth Disease: Have you ever filed a medicalinsurance claim for FootinMouthDisease? It may not be on the list ofcovered medical conditions but if you have ADD, you probably haveitl This condition causes an ADDer to spend most of her life with atleast one foot in her mouth because she doesn't monitor what she saysbefore she says it! It's no wonder she stumbles along in work relation-ships. Hopping on one foot while extricating the other from themouth makes it difficult to manage the details of a job!

Of course we're talking about that troubling impulsivity of our ADDthat keeps getting us in hot water. It got us poor grades in conduct onour school report cards and gets Diane an unsatisfactory grade as a man'ager. A thoughtless remark or a poorly worded memo can make enemiesand even contribute to the loss of a job.

Our advice to you on this one is to Be a S.T.A.R. You have to workhard to srifle yourself at work. Monitor every word that comes out ofyour mouth and think twice before saying anything. Before you speak,act or approach someone, remind yourself to stop and think, look, andlisten. \fhen you take action, reflect on the results of your actions. Ifnecessary, glue a large S.T.A.R. on your desktop as a memory teaserfor Stopping, Thinking, Acting, and Reflecting. It will take a lot ofeffort to pull this off. You may need to reward yourself by finding a like-minded individual you can trust. Together, you can let off steam atlunch or during breaks

Review Chapter 8 Again: All the issues we discussed in group andone.to-one interfacing apply to the work setting. Refer to the strategiesin the previous chapter for continued work on interpersonal relation-ships and communication.

The remainder of this chapter is a departure from the format we'vebeen following. We'll use this discussion to explore the question weposed earlier: "Are you failing in your job, or is your job failing you?"

What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?

Have you ever poured over the want ads in the newspaper looking fora job that matches your qualifications? How many times have you

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closed the newspaper without responding to even one inquiry becauseyou couldn't find a match? Let your ADD imagination roam io, u ,rro.ment and pretend you've just seen the following ad:

WeNrnnFast growing company looking for one special employee!

The perfect candidate will be someone who h.r,

difficulty with rules and authority,ineffective communication skills,trouble switching between asks,

an intolerance to noise,an inability to handle interruprions,

an irritable, moody, unpredictable and impatient personality,an intrusive, impulsive and hyperactive behavior style.

Now, there's a job_designed for ADDers! But let's get back to reality.The chances are slim to none that you'll ever come across an ad likethat, Don't just toss it aside, though, until you take a closer look. Todo this, you'Il need to refer to your inventory again. Use your creativethinking and growing awareness of your ADD

"drr".rt"g.i to hypo-

thesize about ways ro use both sides of the equation.

Negative OR Positive Qualities?difficulty with rules and authority I develops possibilities and solves problems

impaired communication skills I only with excessive complexity

trouble with switching gears I super focus+ability to get one job done well

intolerance to noise I super focus+ability to get one job done well-if it 's quiet

inability to handle interruptions I super focus+ability to get one job done well-in small setting

irritability, impatience I shaking up complacency; getting things done

intrusive and impulsive I not so bad in a small setting; energizing

hyperactive I getting things done: stimulating

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Whether you're twenty, forty or sixty years old, it's not too late to reas-sess some of your life choices. Your asset and liability sheet may helpyou evaluate the question about job failure. Perhaps the job you're inis dead wrong for you.

Vocational Planning: For our young ADD adult readers who areconsidering their future professions, pay careful attention to our wantad and list of positive and negative qualities. You may decide basedon your interest and math aptitude, that accounting is an obviouschoice for you. Before you spend substantial time and money on acollege education, give plenty of thought to your balance sheet. Youmay love math but do you love details and paperwork? If not, thepainstaking detail of accounting work may bore you to tears. If yourreal love is the creative, problem-solving aspect of mathematics, youmight be happier in certain kinds of engineering or computer work.

To avoid costly mistakes, do your homework first. Check with yourlocal support group about vocational counselors in your area. Thereisn'r to our knowledge, vocational testing designed specifically forADDers. But you may be able to latch on to a competent professionalwith experience in ADD issues. The information gained from voca-tional testing can supplement your balance sheet and help you makeimportant decisions about additional training or higher education.

If you can get by without the eamings of a summer job, consider usingyour free time to do volunteer work in your field of interest. You'lllearn a great deal more about a profession by experiencing it firsthandthan reading about it in a book.

Talk to people in the profession you're considering. Ask them detailedquestions about what they do every day. Find out what they like anddislike about their work and think about how this fim with your new self-knowledge. Are you cut out for spending much of your working daywriting lectures, grading papers and going to endless committee meet-ings? If not, you may need to rethink your decision about using your loveof literature to become a college professor. Perhaps becoming a freelancewriter would be a more rewarding, though less lucrative, choice.

If you want to attend college but have only a vague idea of your futurecareer interests, try to attend a university that offers a variety of degree

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programs. Talk with a college counselor about the course work in variousprograms. Credits often apply across degree programs. You can use creditsyou've already eamed in a new program if you decide to switch yourmajor. If you plan carefully, you can save wasted time, effiort and money.

You're Grown Up and Still Asking:"What Do I Want to Do When I Grow (Jp?"Even if you've invested tons of money and time in your career andcurrent job, you don't necessarily have to throw it all away. Before youdecide to jump ship, thoroughly examine your currenr situation. Inmany careers, there is latitude for change within the profession. Psy-chiatric and community health nursing, for example, require creativeproblem-solving and a gestalt approach. Unlike hospital nursing, theydon't include extensive detail work. In teaching, possibilities exist for achange of grade level or subject matter. There are also options for super-visory or counseling positions.

Find Your Niche: Perhaps the job you need is the one you alreadyhave, with a twist. You might be able to find or negotiate a job descrip-tion that fits your abilities and offers unique benefits ro your company.You may be thinking about beginning a degree program in counselingbecause you feel that you're wasting your people skills. Before you acron your decision, consider possibilities within your cuffenr organization.

Many businesses offer training and consultation services to their em-ployees. Can you become the in-house trainer or consultant? Withyour individual talents and some seminar training, you can offer yourservices at a fraction of the cost your company typically incurs in hiringoutside consultants. Your company may even be willing to pay for theadditional training you'Il need.

Match Yourself With Your Job-Start Your own Business: May-be you're not a perfect candidate for someone's want ad and will needto design a job to fit your qualifications. Is the oversupply of rules andregulations coupled with the snail's pace of change in a large organiza-tion, unbearable? Perhaps you should explore ways of working by andfor yourself. The difficulties you experience in someone else's businessmay disappear when the business is your own.

You may be able to use the niche you developed within your organi.zation as a jumping-off place for other business opportunities. As you

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continue to collect a paycheck and gain invaluable experience, youcan begin networking outside your company. You may at some pointdecide to go off on your own and contract with your previous employ-er and other related businesses to offer your services.

As a consulhnt, you have the advantage of being your own boss. It canbe easier to ignore arbitrary rules and rigid people if you aren't a perm-anent employee. You don't have to get caught up in the office politicsand can move on when policies and people start getting on your nerves.And it's usually easier to be on your best behavior when you're in a newsituation only for a short time. You may also be able to retain some of thebenefits of workingfor someone else-use of office equipment, secretarialsupport and the established network of business contacts.

If you choose to join the ranks of many ADD adults who start theirown businesses, do it carefully. Thke a hard look at your balance sheetand your list of perceived financial needs. Can you afford financiallyand emotionally to live with less while you work at developing yourown business?

If you decide to take the calculated risk of working for yourself, use yourlist of assets to explore possibilities that offer the best match. Keep inmind that working on your own ofrers flexibility but requires long hoursin the initial stages of establishing your business. It also requires greatself-discipline.

With no time clock and policy handbook, you'll need to be very carefulto establish a firm schedule and set of rules to keep yourself on track.After you've completed your self assessment, seek the assistance of aprofessional to help you develop a business plan for the first three tofive years of your new endeavor. A business plan will provide the struc-ture, schedules and task list an ADDer needs to stay on track.

Temporary Work: Rather than establishing your own business, youmight try temporary work as a satisfactory compromise between self-employment and working for someone else. In temporary work, you"rent" your skills by the hour, day or longer but usually work for anagency that employs a number of temporary workers.

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Temporary work offers several advantages. The ADDer can satisfy arestless nature by changing job settings frequently. Another advantage isthe ability to control the hours of work. Many of us find a standardforty-hour, five-day work week incompatible with our unique capacities.Some of us find full time work too taxing. Others prefer working forlong stretches and then taking large blocks of time off. Many ADDersare also night people, unable to function well until the aftemoon. Intemporary work, unusual working pattems can often be accommodated.

If you're fairly adaptable and can get along with people for short periodsof time, temping may work well for you. Of course it doesn't offercarte blanche to do anything you please. If you're irresponsible aboutcompleting tasks or develop a reputation for being difficult, you'llstop getting assignments.

If you have had a history of employment failure, use your new self-knowledge to reassess the reasons for it. Your awareness of your balancesheet can help you realistically analyze your situation, sorting out theproblems that result from your behavior and those that are related tothe behaviors of others. You may be in a better position to figure outwhether you have failed on your jobs or your jobs have failed you. Yournew insights may even help you become more accepting of the quirksof your colleagues.

Your main goals should be to improve your work relationships and limitthe time you spend in interactions that are difficult for you. You maydecide that you can and should make some behavioral changes. Youmay decide that you should change your job or career. You may decidethat you've already made the correct choices and are happy with them.

If you decide that some changes are in order, move slowly and thought-fully. Although you need to base your decisions on your individualstrengths and weaknesses, don't forget to include your family in thedecision- making process.

Maintaining friendships, surviving in group encounters and interactingon the job aren't easy tasks. But developing intimate relationships canbe even more difficult. In the next chapter, we'll tum to Interacting,Acts IV and V. \7e'11 watch some scenes taking place in dating and

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family relationships. These higher risk relationships share some elementsof the ones we've already examined. But they are unique in their depthand complexity and require special care and nurturing. We'll offer somespecific ideas you can use to make them work successfully.

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CuRpren 10

lnterfacing ln 6ction:ln the Datin€ Garne and the Farnilv

Tn" "rules" of dating and family relationships are similar to those ofgroup and one-to-one relationships. The level of complexity and emo-tional investment is very different, however. And the stakes are muchhigher if the relationships fail.

Act Mhe Dating Game

Sharon and BradSharon retums from work to the four messages Brad left on her answeringmachine. She told him last week that she doesn't want to see him any-more but he.is unwilling to accept her decision. He's sure that shedoesn't really mean it.

He drives to her apartment complex late each night and leaves notesunder her windshield wipers. He calls her at work several times a dayand shows up at her door with flowers and gifts. Brad is heartbrokenbecause he knows that Sharon is the only woman with whom he wantsto spend the rest of his life. Sharon doesn't know it, but she is Brad'sthird "only woman I'11 ever love" in the past year. Brad falls deeply inlove-again and again.

Angela and SimonAngela and Simon spend every waking hour together. They are trulyin love and Simon is planning the perfect time and place to proposeto her. He met Angela just a few weeks ago but wines and dines heralmost every day.

As weeks tum into months, Angela begins to orchestrate some conflictsthat prevent her from seeing Simon. \fhen they are together they

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have a wonder{ul time, but Angela is beginning to feel a bit closed in.One afternoon, she asks Simon to stop by her house. \7hen he arrives,another man answers the door. He tells Simon that Angela is busyand can't see him now.

Notes: Act IV

With the exception of Sharon, all the actors in the preceding sceneshave ADD.'We can only speculate about why Brad, Angela and Simonfeel compelled to behave as they do.

Brad may approach his new relationship as he approaches projects atwork-with intensity and impulsivity. He may be accustomed to mak-ing quick decisions and getting things done in a hurry. Unfortunatelyhe doesn't understand that he can't control the women in his life theway he does the facts and figures on his sales' plans. He can't enjoypositive relationships and doesn't give himself time to consider hisneeds-he never evaluates the reality of his feelings of love.

Brad's problems with his relationships may also result from his bat-tered sense of self. He may be one of the walking wounded, believingthat he can be emotionally whole only when he has a "better halfl'Men and women alike can have unrealistic expectations about beingsaved by

" relationship. But the powerful myth of Prince Charming

seems to be an illusion with greater appeal to women.

Angela's behavior may reflect her insatiability. Although she genuinelyenjoyed Simon's company during the first months of the relationship,she may have become bored. She has an ADDer's tendency to becomeabsorbed quickly in relationships and to become bored by them just asquickly. As the initial, intense stimulation of her romance has dwindled,so has her interest in it. Although Angela probably doesn't chart herconquests, she may leave a trail of discarded partners, including Simon,as a reminder of her frequent, intense affairs.

Clearly, this behavior isn't unique to ADDers. Adults may behave thisway for a variety of reasons. The specific symptoms and differences ofan ADDer, however, can engender this less than admirable behavior.

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Apart from the moral issue of hurting other people, this callous rreat-ment is also self-destructive. The Don Jwn (or Domta Jwn!) lifestyleis initially exciting but gets old and lonely after a while. Over time evenfriends who previously enjoyed hearing about the escapades, stop askingabout them. An ADDer's chance to form an intimate bond is under.mined by the reputation that precedes him.

While Angela nrns from a close relationship with Simon, he runs head-long towards it. In most relationships there's a subtle or nor so subtletension between the desire to be close and a fear of that closeness. Simonseems to desperately fight for closeness. Angela seems to desperatelyfight to protect her individuality which she thinks is threatened bythe closeness.

Simon's impulsivity may also play into the demise of his relationshipwith Angela. He drives the relationship with his need for closeness.Angela's insatiability aside, she may be terrified that Simon will "swal-Iow" her individuality. Given time, it's possible that her love for Simonwould win out over her fears of closeness. But she never gets the chancebecause Simon's intense need for closeness tips the precarious balanceof their relationship much too quickly. Angela would rather lose herlove than her identity.

Synopsis: Act IV

It sounds pretty gloomy, doesn'r it? Is it time to head our to a hermir'shut? \7e11, if you've been paying arrention-sorry, we couldn't helpit-you know how we feel about doom and gloom. It's fine for disastermovies on the big screen but it's counterproductive to your recovery.

Intimate relationships are a sensitive, delicate variation on the themeof communication and interfacing. They are dances choreographedwith intricate steps and have great potential for disaster.

Dating relationships are vulnerable to an ADDer's intensity and im-paired communication skills. His enthusiasm or sparkle can be a srrongmagnet that initially attracts his love interesr. But over time, his levelof intensity can suffocate his lover. She's left gasping for breath andbacking away to get some space. The ADDer, comfortable with the

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" \ {t\ \

intense pace, may not recognize his lover's need for a gradual progres-sion to closeness. Unless he is good ar finding people who share hisintensity, he must teach himself to control his impulses and slow down.

In a romantic or sexual relationship, an individual risks revealing him-self big time! Everyone shares this risk which is the inherent narure ofintimacy. The risk can be greater for the ADDer who has failed so manytimes and in so many different ways. His generalized feelings of inade-quacy, bome of differences he's never understood, can explode when hebares his soul and body to a partner. When he dares to reveal himselfto a lover who subsequently rejects him, he can suffer a serious blow tohis fragile self-worth.

Some adults experience ongoing difficulties in intimate relationshipsbecause they regard them as safe ports from their feelings of inadequacy.Even with changing roles, many families still condition their daughtersto believe that the roles of wife and mother will prorecr them. AnADD woman's life of negative experiences can reinforce this myth.She may believe that the only escape route from her demanding life is

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through a wedding ring and then a diaper bag. She comes to view apartner as a lifeline or safety net and may scare suitors away with theweight of her clinging dependency.

PR: "A close friend of mine has been married and divorced three times.Before the ink was dry on her divorce degree, she invariably fell inlove again. After her second date with a new man, she would call meto describe her new love. This was the one! I often envied her abilityto find so many suitable matches while I found myself hung up on onefrom which I couldn't extricate myself.

As she continued falling in and out of love, I sat waiting for my knightin shining armor. \fhen he finally arrived, he came in the form of anewly divorced man involved in a new, intense long-distance relation-ship. Though we ADDers aren't known for our patience, I was verypatient. I ignored his repeated wamings that he was in love with someoneelse and really wasn't interested in a long term relationship anyway.For four years, while my friend remarried and divorced, I hung aroundwaiting for my reluctant love to fit me into his busy social calendar.

To say this was painful is putting it mildly. I truly believed that he wasmy lifeline-l knew with my whole being that I would drown withouthim. My sights were set on marrying him. I knew that my tortured self-esteem would be healed only when I had his name. I'm sure the onlyreason my dependency didn't totally overwhelm him was that he wasso incredibly independent.

Eighteen years and two children later, my reality has changed consid-erably, not because he and me did ultimately become oue, but in spiteof it! Becoming Mrs. did save me but not in the way I had imagined.\7hen my lifeline tumed into a weighted anchor that dragged me underinstead of securely holding he, I cut it loose.

No, I didn't divorce him. Incredibly we're still together and the we isstill a big part of us. I changed the equation by adding a stronger, moreself-reliant me into it. I also cut every picture of Prince Charming outof my daughter's story books. . ."

Some ADDers do just fine with intimate relationships-you may beinvolved in a positive, fulfilling one right now. Or, you may be takingsome time to regroup after a relationship you've chosen to end. On

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the other hand, you may be struggling with repeated failures in yourattempts to connect with a significant other. If you are, you'll need toanalyze the reasons for your failures.

We didn't use our stories to illustrate what will go wrong in your rela-tionships but what might go wrong. An ADD adult's differences cancontribute to problems in maintaining intimate relationships. By under-standing the dynamics of your disorder, you may be able to figureout what's going wrong. If you're aware of potential hazards, you canbe prepared the next time you meet someone special, to stop and thinkbefore you act.

Having clarified our message-an important part of positive communi.cation -we'll look at some ways to avoid the pitfalls and improve thequality of your relationships. Here are a few pointers on successfullyplaying the dating game.

Survival Tips: Act IV

Play Hard to Gefi You should never utter the words, "l love you" afterjust a few dates! \Uatch your partner's signals for clues about the pro.gress of the relationship. Use the dynamics of approach and withdrawalbehaviors to your advantage. Even if you immediately set your sightson your new love in1s1s51-as we both did on our spouses-play hardto get for a while. This keeps the desire and fear of closeness in properbalance until the other person has time to catch up with your willing-ness to make a commitment!

This approach may sound somewhat manipulative but it doesn't havean evil intent. Let's face it, an ADD adult has to carefully plan manyaspects of his life to make them work. \7hy should relationships beany different? After all, the hard ro ger approach is jusr a variation oflearning to stop, think, act and reflect, right?

Monitor the Relationship: Spontaneity is a lovely thing but ADDerscan get in trouble when freedom reigns. To a certain extent, you'llneed to approach intimate relationships as you do everything else-with careful planning and ongoing moniroring. Keep your finger onthe pulse of the relationship. If your partner seems skittish, back off

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and lighten up! \Uhen the intensity level is too high, be less availablefor a while.

Don't swing too far in the other direction either. You can chase a loveinterest away with your apparent indifference. Relationships requirecontinual work and maintenance. The challenge for an ADDer is tosustain attention to the relationship over the long haul.

Work at your communication skills. Remind yourself to listen to yourpartner, ask questions to draw her out and pay attention to moods andnon-verbal clues.

Dontt Lose the ttMett in '(!Vett' Be sure to maintain your usual in-terests when you begin dating someone new. This will help you keep areasonable distance from the relationship to prevent your total immer-sion in it. This will also help you maintain your own identity.

Watch Your Impulsivity: Impulsive behavior can create an assort-ment of problems in an ADD adult's life. In a sexual relationship, itcan cause life threatening trouble! In this day of serious sexually ffans-mitted diseases, more than emotional well-being is at stake. It's wise towait a while before beginning any sexual relationship.

You may need to make some rules for yourself to prevent impulsivedecisions. Talk to a trusted friend who seems to be in control of his life.Ask for his advice. How long does he think a person should wait beforehaving sex, saying "l love you" or living with a new romantic interest?Ask how long he thinks a person should know a lover before marriage.

Use this information to make a vow to wait x-amount of time beforetaking any of these steps. Enlist your friend's help with your vow. Inmany support groups, a sponsor helps the individual stick to his program.Your friend could become the sponsor you call on when you're havingtrouble sticking with your program, ie. your rules for dating behavior.

Stop and Think: If you're feeling restless just thinking about such anunbearably slow pace of a relationship, use your imagination and con-sider this. Visualize a whole Lifetime of restlessness with a spouse whobores you to death! Visualize a giant vise systematically tightening

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down and squeezing out all your hard work at recovery and rebuildingyour sense of self. You are worth too much to throw away your progressby impulsively hooking up with someone who is wrong for you. Theconsequences of an impulsive marriage can be heavy, particularly ifchildren are involved.

Debunk the Prince Charming Myth: This one is for women whogrew up believing the myth. Don'r look ar every date as a sreppingstone to marriage. Tiy to enjoy your evening of dinner and dancingwithout visualizing yourself at the altar!

!7atch out for your yeamings for Prince Charming! We know we'rerepeating ourselves but the trap is so tempting that it can snare youbefore you realize it's happening. This comment isn'r a condemnationof the weakness of women. It's a reality of a world that still teacheswomen to depend on men for their salvation.

\Uhen the going gets tough in school or in careers, it's easy to indulgein fantasies about marriage as an escape route. There is nothing wrongwith wanting to be a wife or mother. Just make sure that you make rhedecision for the right reasons-out of choice. Don't do it because youfeel you can't do anything else or wanr a way out of your currenr, un-h"ppy situation.

KK: "'When I was in my '20's, I made a rule that I wouldn't get marriedor have children until I had found a sarisfuing way ro support myself. Ididn't know about ADD then but did have a sense that my survivaland self-esteem depended on my having a sense of competence.

As an older mother, I enjoyed the experience wrthout losing my se[f-esteem. Motherhood was a joyful choice rather than a retreat from aworld I couldn't handle. I kept a part time job as a psychiatric nurse,knowing I could go back to full-time work at any time. I didn't sufferfrom doubts about being just a mother as many of my peers did. I thinkthis was because I had made a clear and conscious choice from a posi,tion of strength rather than weakness."

Act V, Scene 1: Interfacing in the Family

Now we'll examine the most complex kind of relationship. \7e'11 introduce

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you to the Baker family to help us explore the unique issues of family inter'actions. The family includes Jan, Tom and their three biological children,A-y, Zachary and Jennifer. Each of the five members of the family hasADD although each has slightly different problems associated with it.

TomTom, a successful real estate broker, is extremely restless, hyperactiveand irritable. He eams a good living but the family experiences ongoingfinancial crises. Everyone in the family spends the rnoney as quickly ashe can earn it. Tom has a Jeckle and Hyde personality that changes atthe drop of a hat. He flips back and forth from an enthusiastic, fun-loving man to an irritable, withdrawn grouch.Jun and the children arealways a bit afraid of him.

JanJan isn't particularly moody or hyperactive. She is more of a gentlespace cadet. She has trouble organizing the household and discipliningthe children. She is so overwhelmed by the demands of life that shejust lets them wash over her. Having few reserves of energy to gaincontrol of her life, she manages to do little more that survive each day.

AmyThe oldest daughter A-y, is an extremely bright, chronic underachiever.She has always been a maverick. She has problems following rules andfitting in with other children. She's continually in trouble at home andat school. Amy shares her dad's symptoms of moodiness, impulsivity andhyperactivity. At 13, she's becoming increasingly rebellious, refusingto take her Ritalin and hanging out with a group of kids who take drugs.

A*y and her dad have an explosive relationship since they both regu-larly fly off the handle. She and her mom don't argue a lot but theyhave a tenuous relationship. A*y treats Jan with contempt, not evenattempting to hide her low opinion of her mother. She can't under-stand why Mom is so wishy-washy about everything.

ZacharyTen year old Zachary is quiet and rather passive. He doesn't makewaves. He struggles in school and receives only mediocre grades despiteputting in long hours doing homework. He's anxious most of the time

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and has a number of health problems including asthma, severe allergiesand frequent stomach aches. He's shy and has trouble making friends.

Zachary was evaluated and diagnosed with multiple leaming disabil-ities and ADD. His psychologist recommended intensive tutoring butthe family never has enough extra money to hire anyone. Jan has takenon the job but can't do it with any regularity because she's so over.whelmed by the details of her life. So Tachary struggles along withoutthe educational help he needs.

JenniferJennifer is the baby of the family and her parenrs rreat her that way.They place few demands on her. At 8 years old, she's a delightful childwith a sunny personality and an engaging sense of humor. She's fairlyhyperactive but doesn't display the irritability and moodiness of herfather or sister. She channels some of her excess energy into gymnastics,cartwheeling or dancing around the house much of the time.

At school she has become the class clown, entertaining her peers andkeeping her teachers so busy laughing that they ignore her difficultieswith school work. Her grades are even worse than her brother's, but noone gets on her case about it. Her teachers assume that she just isn'tvery bright. Her parents are busy arguing with each other and withA*y. They work so hard at just surviving that they don't have time toworry about their youngest child. Th"y figure that at least they have onenormal child even if she isn't anv smarter than the rest of their kids.

Notes: Act V, Scene 1

Marriage and child rearing present all the challenges we've alreadydiscussed and then some! The intricacy of the dance of family relation-ships is dramatically more complex than that of groups, friendships orromantic interactions. In this regard, we would like you to considerthese new math facts. Are you ready?

> 7= 4= ll plus

'We're not going to tell you quite yet what these equations mean, but

1 + 17 + lZ + 7

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the answers are correct. . .Sort of. . .It depends on the questions you'reasking. \fe'll get back to this in a few paragraphs.

As soon as two individuals become alegal nr.re, the rules change andthe complexity and intensity of the relationship increase whether ornot either has ADD. There are often unrealistic expectations that thespouse will fulfill the roles of Saviot Mother, Father, Best Friend, ExpertLover, Tower of Strength, Therapist, etc.

Further complicating the relationship of a couple, particularly as timegoes on, is the history they have shared. Communications are coloredwith memories, both good and bad. An innocent remark can spark anargument about a past hurt or unresolved conflict that had an impacton the relationship. If we add a spouse with ADD to the picture, therelationship can change unpredictably.

Jan and Tom were delighted to find each other and had an excitingcourtship.Jan loved the spontaneity of impulsive trips to the beachand phone calls at 3:00 a.m. Tom loved havingJan help him remem-ber to put gas in the car and agree with his opinions.

When A*y was bom in the first year of their marriage, they seemedto become totally different people. The transformation they exper-ienced is certainly not unique to ADDers. Virtually all parents, eventhose who carefully plan their families, say it's impossible to imaginethe magnitude of the changes that occur with the birth of a child.

This brings us back to the answers in our equations. They are correctif we ask the following questions:

Wlwt does one spouse plus one spouse eqtal?

\Y'/hat does one couple plus one child equalt

V{hat does one couple plus two children eqtal?

Jan and Tom assumed that their problems resulted from baby Amy'sconstant crying. A difficult infant can definitely add stress to a relation-ship. Even if Amy had been a calm, placid baby, our couple would haveexperienced a transformation in their relationship.

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With the addition of each child, the relationships between and amongfamily members become increasingly complicated. The complicarionsgrow not arithmetically, but geomerrically. This may be why parenrsoften say a second child adds more than just double the work of anonly child. The extra work doesn'r have nearly as much to do withextra laundry or meal preparation as it does with an exploding numberof relationships. Let's look at what happens to the number of relation-ships when you add children to a family:

The Couple = husband and wife (plus theirindividual + s.llective "baggage")

The Couple+One Child = husband and wifehusband and childwife and childhusband, wife and child

The Couple+Two Children = husband and wifehusband and first childhusband and second childwife and first childwife and second childfirst and second childhusband, wife and first childhusband, wife and second chlldhusband, first and second childwife, first and second childhusband, wife, first and second child

Synopsis: Act V Scene 1If computer programmers think it's difficult to inrerface an IBM" and aMacintosh]' we wonder what they would think about interfacing a fam-ily unit. They would have to program individual personalities to inter-face with the multiple relationships among family members. The dyadof husband and wife alters the one:one relationship of pre-maffiage days

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even before children add to the complexity of interpersonal relationships.

Since ADD tends to run in families, it dramatically alters the dimen-sions of the family unit and exponentially ups the ante as children arebom. Raising ADD children is a challenging job that taxes the resourcesof non-ADD parents. Many adoptive parents can attest to this. In afamily like the Bakers where several people have the disorder, the poten-tial for discord and communication breakdown is enormous.

Does this mean that the equation of ADD adult(s) + children =disasterl Absolutely not! It only means that the stakes may be higherand the pitfalls deeper and more treacherous. You may be a wonderfulparent! ADDers are lively people. Many can respond to the challengesof child rearing with incredible enthusiasm and avoid the pitfalls byleaping energetically over theml

A decision as important as whether to bring a new human being intothis world-into your world-must be made very carefully,l Planning thisarea of your life may be THE most important job you have. You muststop and think about your balance sheet of strengths and weaknesses.

What if you already had children before you knew anything about ADD?What if having a family is what you do because you never considerednot having one? Well, you're certainly not alone! Many people havechildren because their religious or family script teaches them to. Whatif you would have loved to plan your family better but medical sciencefailed and you ended up with an unplanned pregnancy?

Our goal isn't to establish ourselves as critics of your religious principlesor contraceptive practices, but to help you think about some impor-tant issues. You will need to examine your ADD balance sheet andconsider how it fits with parenting and the math of family relationships.If you already have children, we hope the discussion will help you clarifiiand better understand this dimension of your life.

The Job of Parenting: ADD adults have strengths and weaknesseswhen it comes to parenting. A typical balance sheet for an ADDparent may look something like this:

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SrnnNcrHSactive

creativeopen-minded

compassionatesense of wondercurious

enthusiasticpassionate

WnexNEssESimpatientmoodyintolerant of noise and chaoscareless with detailsshaky communication skillslimited capacity for work + srresseasily boredimpulsive

good sense of humor disorganized

How does this balance sheet play out when you become a parent? It'shard to say with certainty. Your child's personality and the interrelatedprofiles of you, your spouse, and your offspring all have impacts. youm_ight become a parent who yells a lot or is grouchy much of the time.The added noise and stress of having childr"n -"y'push butrons thatweren't pushed before. You might look at your reflection in a mirrorand wonder where the mean, angry person came from.

On the other hand, you might take advantage of the wonderful "imma.turity" everyone used to criticize. !7ith your children in tow, you cangiggle, climb on the monkey bars and sing aloud in the grocery srorewithout questionable looks from other people. You might effectivelyuse your compassion and open-mindedness to roll with the inevitablepunches of parenring.

Your effectiveness as a parent will be tested by the generic probabilitythat one or more of your children are likely ro hav. Ann. Their high-strung temperaments will require special handling. In some respecrsyour own ADD uniquely. qualifies you as a provider of special handling.You have insight unavailable to your non-ADD peers. if yo,, haven'ryet achieved a workable balance in your life, however, you may stillrequire too much nurturing for yourself. You may be unable to providethe careful guidance your ADD child needs.

Parenting-has been compared to a scary, exciting, unpredictable rollercoaster ride. \7e submit that when ADD is an issue, parenting becomesa more treacherous joumey. It's like guiding an out of .ontrol rocket

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ship at the speed of light towards an unknown destinationl Is this neces-sarily so bad? Just think of all the teacher conferences and emergencyroom visits our parents would never have made if it hadn't been for usl\7hat would they have done with all that extra timelJust think howboring the world would be without us.

Can we leam any lessons from this survey of the family dimension? '!7e

think the most important one is the need for planning. Your parentsand teachers probably complained so often about your poor planningthat the very word makes you uncomfortable. As much as you maydislike planning, it's probably the singularly most important thing youshould do for yourself. Use the following considerations as a frame-work for your "Planned Parenting". The job of parenting is too impor-tant to leave to chance.

Survival Tips: Act V, Scene 1

Spacing of Children: Carefully consider the spacing of your children.This has nothing to do with the psychology of spacing as it affects achild's adjustment. Rather, careful spacing allows you to absorb the impactof each child on your capacity to handle the additional demands. If

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you have several children in the space of a few years, you may be pushedbeyond your limits before you know it. Spacing buys you rhe time youneed to make a wise decision.

Personal and Financial Resources: If you and your spouse wanr rocontinue full-time employment, can you both emotionally handle thesecond shift of parenting? If not, can you survive financially if one par-ent has only a part time job or stays at home I Of course if you're asingle parent, you won't have an option in this regard.

Realistic Assessment of Effort and Money: Do your homework. Askother parents, especially parents of ADD children, about the work andmoney it takes to raise children. Everyone knows that children are ex.pensive. But when ADD is part of the financial picture, you'll need tothink about the added expenses you may incur. Your child may needextra help. He may need among other services, tutoring, speech therapy,medicine or psychological counseling.

General Strategies: What resources are available to lighten rhe load?Are there relatives living nearby who are willing to help? Can you reduceyour financial obligations ? Can you organize the work load so each par-ent can have periodic breaks? lUhen you add children ro your life, youneed to be even more ruthless about simplifuing it to maintain balance.

Post This List and Reread it at Frequent Intenzals: Each time youconsider adding a child to your family, go back over this lisr. Makesure you are handling what's aiready on your plate before you dish upanother serving. If you and your parrner plan carefullyr lour familyrelationships can be satisfying ones that add to the quality of your life.You'll be able to pass on to your children your valuable, hard-earnedknowledge about overcoming obstacles. Your children can becomeenterprising, productive adults.

Act V, Scene 2: Interfacing in the Family

In the following scenes we'll offer a glimpse of the Baker family's inter.actions. They are illustrative of the complexity of family relationshipswhen ADD is added to the mix.

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Jan, Tom and ZacharyJan is tutoring Zachary at the dining room table. Tom walks in andstarts to tell her some exciting news about work. When she doesn'trespond, he becomes increasingly exasperated by her seeming disinterest.When his raised voice finally elicits Jan's request to "wait a minute",he leaves the room in a huff.

Tom, Jan and JenniferTom sits bleary-eyed at the breakfast table, drinking his first cup ofcoffee and trying to read the newspaper. Jan who is a moming person,chats to him non-stop and reminds him that i t 's garbage day.Tom finally looks up from his paper and announces that the garbageneeds to be taken out. Jan testily replies that if he'd been listening hewould know that she's aware of that fact. Jennifer suddenly appearsout of nowhere to give her startled parents bear hugs. She is reprimand-ed for being so rough and slinks out of the room wondering why hermom and dad rejected her affection.

Jennifer, Amy and ZacharyJennifer rushes into her sister's room and pounces on the bed to giveA*y a morning kiss. A-y who is just beginning to wak€ rp, shovesher off the bed and feels only mildly remorseful when Jennifer scrapesher knee on the way down. Now fully awake, A-y heads down thehall for a shower and lets loose a string of epithets when Zachary walksin to brush his teeth.

Notes: Act V Scene 2

The Baker family includes five people whose individual deficits collec-tively combine to create Chaos on the Cul-de-Sac. All families sharesome of their problems-balancing the rights of individual memberswith the needs of the larger family unit. The Baker family has an extralayer of shared ADD disabilities that makes this balancing act partic-ularly difflcult.

Families who live under the same roof share both physical and emotionalspaces. If the family is to live peacefully together, each member has tohave his fair share of both. Each of the Bakers has a poor sense ofphysical and emotional boundaries and impulsively invades each other's

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territory. Acting on autopilot most of the time, they bump, jostle andliterally step on each other's toes as they repeatedly miss both obviousand subtle requests for space.

A closed door or a sign that says, ttKeep Outtt is a fairly clear statementof a desire for privacy. Most of us understand its obvious significance-but what about the subtle I rrorr-Verbal requests for privacy? Many of uswith ADD misread these "signs".

These non-verbal signs are the invisible circles that people draw aroundtheir bodies for privacy and protection. The circles define the perimeterof personal space and convey the message: "Don't come any closer thanthe circle I have drawn around me."

These circles aren't fixed in time and space. The diameter of your owncircle constantly changes according to your mood, circumstances andrelationship to the other person. The circle narrows to encourage alover or a beloved child to get close and widens to keep the sffanger orsomeone you dislike, at a safe distance. If you're angry or dbpressed,the circle may become huge even for loved ones as you send out themessage: ttStay Awaytl For an ADDer, the circle sometimes inexpli-cably widens when he can't stand to be touched or to allow anyone inhis immediate vicinitv.

I

Synopsis: Act V Scene 2

Awareness of and respect for these invisible circles requires good non-verbal communication skills. Lacking these skills, the Bakers impulsivelytrounce on each other's feelings and invade personal physical spaces.Since the whole family has ADD, each person has a unique need forspace. Each person also has an inability to prevent his needs fromcolliding with the needs of everybody else. Privacy is as hard to comeby in this family as peace and quiet are. The experience of living inthis kind of family is feeling intruded upon and overwhelmed.

Most ADD families experience some degree of difficulty in their inter-actions. What can an ADD family such as the Baker's do to make itshome more of a haven for the people who live there ? The first order ofbusiness is to see a family therapist.

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This family has been in trouble for a long time. They need an objectiveoutsider to analyze and balance the needs of the family as a unit withthe individual needs of family members. The therapist's job is to helpthe family system become healthier so it can better meet the needs ofeach member. Right now, the family is too stressed and chaotic to pro.vide the necessary structure and nurturing.

'!7e can't emphasize enough that treating a troubled family is not a do-

it-yourself enterprise! A Band-Aid approach may remporarily slowdown the bleeding but it won't stop the hemorrhage! If your familyis really in trouble, get professional help ASAP!

If your family is basically okay and needs only minor adjustments, that'swonderful. There are several techniques you can use to support andbuild your family system. The following discussion includes specific sug-gestions for improving communication and managing boundary issues.

Survival Tips: Act V, Scene 2

Creating Living Space Large Enough for the People Who Share ItWhen we talk about living space, we're not suggesting that you increasethe square footage of your house or apartment!

'!fe're talking about

carefully designing sufficient emotional living space so that family mem-bers can coexist with relative harmony.

Teach Respect for Boundary Needs: Suggest that your family vis-ualize a boundary as a hula hoop.

'We know we're showing our ages-

many people under 35 have never even played with one! Anyway, ifyou have a hula hoop lying around, put it around you to demonstrateyour personal circle. Ask each family member to picture himself sur-rounded by his own personal hoop.

The room suddenly starts to shrink in size as people and hula hoopsbegin to take up space. As everyone starts to move around in the space,the inevitable happens. There's a fair amount of confusion as hula hoopsstart bumping into each other.

Each family member should put rhis image in his memory bank forfuture reference. The next time he starts to intrude on someone else,

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he may be able to call up the hula hoop image in his mind. "Seeing"Dad in a hula hoop might just be enough to make junior Stop, Look,Listen. . .and Laugh!

Design Rest and Relaxation Zones: In many families, there areunwritten rules regarding private space. The den may "belong" to theparents-the children understand that this space is Mom and Dad'si"tr""t. Similarly, the children often use theii bedrooms as escapes fromthe demands of the family.

ADD families need to establish written rules regarding the boundariesof privacy. Each member of the family should have his own designatedzone. In a small apartment, this space could be the balcony, the hall orhalf of a shared bedroom. Each family member has a right to privacyand needs a private retreat-a place that is off-limits to everyone else."Out to Lunch" or "Temporary Shutdown" signs can indicate currentoccupation of a personal zone. o

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This provision for down time is essential to forestall the negative be-haviors of frustration. Each person has a right to state his need forspace. \Uhen he makes the request, other family members shouldn'ttalk to him or expect a response. The same rules apply about beingtouched. If someone doesn't want to be touched, his wishes musr berespected.

Designated QuietZones: You should also designate specific quietzones in your home as places for reading, studying or resting. The tele-vision and stereo should be in an area with a door that can be closed.This area should also be as far away as possible from the quiet zones. Asound proof room for noisy equipment would be ideal but most homesdon't have this luxury. One option is to establish a rule that TV orstereo users must use earphones.

Rules for Communication and Respect for Boundaries: You can'rtake anything for granted in an ADD family! You need to design struc-tured rules to protect the emotional and physical circles of family mem.bers. Some of these suggestions may be helpful:

rSet Aside Speciftc Time Periods for Quiet when the TV shouldbe tumed off and the answering machine tumed on. Develop a familyschedule with designated times for studying or other quiet pursuits aswell as times to be together as a group.

oObsenze a Period of Silence when the noise level is too high oremotions are getting out of control.

.Require Each Family Member, Includittg Parents, to Ask Per,mission before borrowing anything from someone else.

olmpose a Stop-Look/listen-Speak Procedure for all commu.nication between family members.

'lUhen a conversation is in progress,

the person entering the room must wait until he's invited to join in. Ifsomeone is doing something that requires concentration, such as readingor paying bills, he shouldn't be interrupted excepr for an emergency.

oDetermine What Constitutes an Emergency. An untied shoe stringcan be an emergency for an ADD child. You may need to discuss andmake a list of real and perceived emergency situations. Insist that every-one refer to the list before intemrpting a conversation in progress. If an

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interruption is necessary, everyone should abide by the following rules.Get the person's attention by gently tapping him on the shouldet waitfor a response and then excuse yourself before you begin to talk.

.Prohibit All Long Distance Conversations except for announce.ments that the house is buming down! Yelling up the stairs or shoutingfrom another room to find someone is a no-no. There are two reasonsfor this. First, if family members have to strain to hear, they will fre-quently misinterpret the message. An ADDer can have enough troublesending and receiving messages without the added burden of trying totalk to someone in another room. Second, it's rude! Yelling upstairs toger someone to come down is a lot like calling the dog-and it feelslike it too.

ouse Intercoms. You might want to invest in some intercoms tocommunicate with people in other parts of the house. Be careful notto over.do it. A buzzing intercom every five minutes can be as annoy-ing as a bellowing voice!

.Prohibit All "On The Run" Conversations. Thlking to someonewhile you rush to finish a task, isn't conducive to effective communi-cation. The intended recipient of this one-way conversation has tolisten to a program that fades in and out or follow the speaker aroundon his travels. On the run conversations are rude and contribute tomiscommunication.

oEnforce a Rule to Prqhibit Unwanted Teasing or Joking aboutindividual family members. ADDers often read the literal meaning ofmessages and miss the intended meaning. Since impulsive ADD familymembers often fail to notice the discomfort of others, their teasing canquickly escalate into perceived full-scale attacks. Teasing can feel liketorture and must not be permitted. All requests to stop teasing must berespected. The butt of the joke shouldn't be labeled a party pooper orpoor sport. If a joke hurts someone, it's not funny.

oSet Up a Message Center in a prominent place. The kitchen maybe a good place for this as it's often the center of family activities. Thebest location is near a phone with an answering machine. Preferably,the space should have a counter or desk for a writing surface. The centershould include a bulletin board, a method for filing mail and importantpapers, a large calendar and an ample supply of paper and pens.

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The bulletin board needs to be sufficiently large to provide a specificsection for each family member and one for the whole family. Keepextra colored paper tacked in each section or use color posr-it p"ds.Each family member can have a personalized color that makes it easyto p_ost and retrieve messages. A white board may be a good backdropto the colored notes. Be sure that everyone, including sma[ children,can reach the bulletin board.

The General. Messages area is for anyrhing the whole family needs toread. The rest of the board should be divided into secrions for individ-ual family members. Make a rule that every message must include thesignature of the person who posted it, the date and the time.

'Whenever

possible, telephone calls should be handled at or switched ro, the mes.sage center phone.

Encourage family members to make a habit of checking the messagecenter several times a day and every time they come home. As soon assomeone reads a message, he should remove it from the board. This willreduce visual clutter and improve the odds that the family won't over-look posted messages. If someone adds a general message to the board,he should initial it at the bottom. As each person in tum reads themessage, he should add his initials. The last reader will know that every-one else has seen the note and that he should remove it from the board.

Besides looking for posted messages, each person needs to check hismail slot and listen to the answering machine. Phone calls should beadded to the board and the tape should be rewound. Before makingany plans, everyone should check the message center's master calendarfor important family dates.'We're

not suggesting that families do all their communicating by wayof the message center! Putting things in writing can a big help, how.ever. Otherwise, an ADD child might forget to menrion rhar Dad isstranded with a flat tire and Sister is in the emergency room with abroken arm! A disorganized ADD family can truly benefit from a struc-tured system that tracks family messages and appointments.

oContinually Monitor Your Family's Emotional Tiemperature:Monitoring your personal stress level is important, but in your excit-able, roller'coaster ADD family, the effect of workload or srress snow-balls. It's similar to what happens to the number of relationships when

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you add new family members:7+1 is greater than 3.

This is how it happens. One of the children comes home after a badday at school and is bouncin g o{f the walls. Mom arrives an hour laterin a bad mood after a difficult day at work. In a matter of minutes, Momand the hyperactive child are at each other's throats as the child'snoise and activity irritate a mother who has no reserves of patience.The fight that erupts puts everyone in the family on edge and beforelong the house feels like a war zone.

Because the stress level of each person has such a profound effect onthe family, it's important to monitor the demands on the family as awhole. If an individual family member is pushing himself too hard andfeels irritable as a consequence, it isn't just an individual matter. If thefamily as a whole is trying to do too much, the stress makes relaxationand down-time, impossible.

Before we close this chapter, we want to at least mention the widerfamily circle-the extended family. Grandparents, in-laws, aunts, uncles,etc., will all have an impact on the dynamics of your family. Theirsupport or lack of support can be a powerful influence on your effortsto be a successful ADD family.

'!7e can't examine this issue in depth

because the subject is too complicated to address in a few sentences.These chapters just scratch the surface. \fe'd like to write anotherbook that focuses exclusively on ADD family relationships.

But there are some other important family issues we're going to addressin the next chapter. With family relationships as the backdrop, we'llrevisit the Baker family to examine some management issues uniqueto the functioning of the family.

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CHaprEn 11

From Mealtime Maniato Outins Ordeals:

How-To's of Decreasing DiscordTn. family is a microcosm of society. It includes individual and grouprights, responsibilities and rules. It's a system of multiple interpersonalrelationships that must be carefully managed.

Hundreds of sociological studies have explored the entity of the familyand how it functions. Since we are neither sociologists nor family ther-apists, we don't presume to be experts in these fields. \7e do, however,consider ourselves experts in two specific areas: The ADD Families ofKelly/Pentz and Ramundo. Our experiences could fill volumes aswe're sure yours could too.

\7hen we use the word expert, we use it humbly as a reflection of ourlifetime experiences, not as a measure of our expertise. We can't giveyou all the answers about ADD families because we don't have them!We can share some of our observations and the collective experiencesof other ADDers and their families. \7e'll rejoin the Baker family tohelp us do this.

Our previous visit with them provided a glimpse of a family living inthe sitcom Chaos on the Cul-de-Sac.If you recognize your family inthe description of the Bakers, do you have to resign yourself to beingpart of the neighborhood? Is there anything you can realistically do tomake your family life more manageable? \Ue're going to take take onthe role of the Baker family's therapist to find some answers.

To begin unravelling the family's complex problems, we'll encourageeach family member to communicate her own version of the BakerFamily Srory. This sharing will have to happen over time and withinan atmosphere of mutual support.

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Tbm: "I feel helpless, angry and worthless most of the time. I know Ilose my temper too much and it hurts people, but I just can't seem tohelp it. The angry words are out of my mouth before I know it. I feellonely too. Jan doesn't seem to know I exist unless she's cringing be-cause I got mad. She's always busy with something. She doesn't lookme in the eye and never pays attention to me when I try to talk to her.I'm scared all the time. I worry that I can't keep pretending I'm incontrol. Work just takes it out of me. \Uhen I get home, I don't haveany energy left for my family. I'm supposed to be strong-the man ofthe family-but sometimes I feel as though I'm just barely hanging on."

Jan: "I feel as if I'm under water all the time, fighting to swim to thesurface but never getting there. No matter what I do, I never seem toget anything accomplished. I work hard to take care of the house andfamily but I never have anything to show for it. The place is always amess and we never seem to have a moment of peace. Everyone isalways fighting. I'm a failure. Tom and Amy are always yelling andputting me down. I probably deserve it. I'm pretty useless."

Amy: "Everybody thinks I'm just a rotten kid but they have no ideahow I really feel. I'm scared that I'll never be able to make it as a grown-up. I know I'm a "smartass" but that's just a cover-up. I'm mean, haveterrible moods and can't seem to get it together to do anything worth-while. What am I going to do when I finish high schooll With mygrades, I probably won't make it to college and I'm not fast enough todo something like waitressing. Sometimes I wish I were more likeZachary. I make fun of him for being a wimp but he's a nicer personthan I am. Sometimes I wish I were dead."

Zachary: "l hate the fighting at my house. Even when my family islaughing or joking, I'm always waiting for something terrible to happen-for Dad or Amy to start a big screaming match. I can't stand it whenpeople yell because the noise hur$ me. I don't know how to protectmyself. I get so mad sometimes I just want to yell at them to shut upbut I can't get the words out. It's hard enough to talk when I'm feelingcalm. \fhen I get upset, I get so confused I can't think straight. I feellike a dope. I work harder in school than anybody I know but I still getmostly C's. My dad gets impatient with me because I'm not good atsports and I won't stick up for myself. Mom seems to like me better but

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never has enough time to help me with school work. I hate ro evenask her because she seems so busy and tired most of the time. I know Icause a lot of trouble because I hear mom and dad fighting all the rimeabout my doctor bills. I wish it was more peaceful ar my house."

Jennifer: "lt's crazy at my house! I especially hate dinnertime becauseit takes too long. Everybody's always telling me, Sit down, Jennifer. . .Be quiet, Jennifer. . .Stop falling off your chair, Jennifer. I can'r standto sit there all that time. I'd rather be outside playing. I like it whenmy family tells jokes bur a lot of times people yell and get in fights. Ihate the yelling. Most of the time, I don't think my family even noticesI'm there. My mom and dad don't even seem to care when I bringhome D's on my papers. They do say that ir's roo bad I don't g.t gt"d.tfor my talking because I sound so smart. I wish they would *"tih n

"dance and do gymnastics but they're too busy talking, doing other stuffor fighting. I don'r like going to school either. My teichershake mebe quiet and sit in my sear unril I want to jump right out of my skin!"

It's obvious that nobody in this family is happy with the way thingsare going! There's one common thread that weaves through everyone'sstory in the Baker family: the noise and emotional levels are too intense.Tom and Amy don't directly complain about the noise but we canobserve their sensitivities to it. Their hot tempers escalate in directresponse to sensory intrusions. They also have some awareness of theimpact of their yelling on orher family members and don'r feel vervgood about it.

Families who deal with the dynamics of ADD face numerous challengesevery day. \7e can't discuss them all but we can examine two that aieillustrative of several fairly common problems in an ADD family-Meabime Mania and Outing Ordeals.

Mealtime Mania

It's Mealtime Mania at the Baker house. There are several poorly traineddogs who bark, jump up and beg for food throughout the meaf. Amyand Tom who are both sensitive to noise and touch, constantly yell atthe dogs and push them away but do little else to train them. Jenniferadds to the general discord and busyness of the family meal by jumping

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up and down to dance or tum cartwheels.

Three separate, one-way conversations go on as Amy, Tom and Jennifertalk non-stop to no one in particular. Zachary and Jan try to followthe conversation but quickly tune out as they become overwhelmedby the chaos.

Jan rarely sits down at the table. She spends dinnertime wanderingabsent-mindedly. She fetches the forgotten items of silverware, napkinsor food that took longer to cook than the rest of the meal. Zacharyquietly fades into the woodwork, trying to eat his dinner without gettinga stomach ache and hoping that a big fight doesn't break out. He knowsthat his mother won't be much help in averting the battle that willinevitably ensue between his father and sister, A-y.

The anticipated knock-down, drag-out fight between Tom and Amy isa common occurrence at some point in the meal. Both have hair trig-ger tempers coupled with foot in mouth disease. This lethal combina-iion means thaieach of them frequently makes careless remarks thattouch off an explosion in the other. Both Tom and Amy tend to hearonly half of what is said and to misinterpret the other half.

Sometimes the chaos is fun with lots of joking and fooling around.\7hen Tom's in a good mood, he likes to become a kid again, tellingsilly jokes and instigating animal noise contests and food fights. Janand Zachary don't participate very much but they laugh and enjoy theantics of the others during these h"ppy times. They're always a littlenervous though, knowing that when things get out of hand, the partyatmosphere will rapidly and disastrously change. They know that Tomand Amy, the instigators of much of the rowdiness, are unpredictableand irritable. The mood of the gathering can change abruptly if eitherof them becomes annoyed with the noisiness or by someone stepping ontheir toes.

Easily enraged, their anger quickly generalizes to everyone else in thefamily. They frequently yell at Jan for burning part of the dinner, atJennifer for leaping around like a frog and at Zachary for sitting like abump on a 1og. Invariably, Anty stomps off before the meal is oversince she has been grounded to her room "for the rest of her life".

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Zachary feels sick to his stomach and can't eat and Jennifer dancesaround at a manic pace. Sometimes the atmosphere at dinner isn't asmuch chaotic as it is deadly silent and chilling with everyone broodingand poisoning the environment with silent misery.

Notes: Mealtime Mania

With their difficult remperaments, A-y and Tom seem to dominatethe picture in the Baker family. But they're not singularly responsiblefor the impaired family interactions. Each of the family members hasshaky communication skills and a limited capacity for stress and stimu-lation. Individually and collectively, these behaviors conrribure to thefamily chaos and stress level.

If you plug the individual behaviors into a chart of family interacrions,you can understand how things get so out of hand for the Bakers. Asfamily tension escalates, J". becomes increasingly more disorganizedand disengages herself from the family. Tom gets more stressed out asthe burden of discipline falls on him. With his short fused temper, he'sill-equipped to handle it. He feels increasingly angry at Jan's failure totake charge of the house and children. It's not that Tom is a sexistpig-he and Jan had agreed on the division of labor when she quit herjob to stay home.

Tom gets burned out easily. After a day at work, he can do little butcollapse. A-y desperately needs firm, calm, structured discipline butdoesn't get it. Zachary doesn'r acrively bother anybody, but throughno fault of his own, puts great demands on family financial and emo-tional resources. Jennifer contributes to the noise and chaos level withher clowning and hyperactivity. She must leam to take responsibilityfor her behavior. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone available to teachher how to do it.

The Baker family is a group of related individuals who have compellingneeds for structure, support and understanding-but there doesn't seemto be enough to go around. Having fewer children probably would havehelped, but it's too late for that option. It isn't too late, however, forthe family to make some important changes to reduce the chaos andtum the volume down. If Mealtime Mania seems to be a wav of life for

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your family, think about these ideas and consider trying them.

Survival Tips for Decreasing Discord

Reduce or Eliminate LJnnecessary Distractions3 During meals, theanswering machine should be turned on or the phone should be takenoff the hook. The television or radio should be tumed off and the news-paper should be put in another room. The family dogs should be trainedto stay away from the dinner table or should be kept in another roomuntil the meal is over. To further minimize the extra distractions, thefamily might consider finding a new home for one of its dogs.

Establish a Family Signal: The signal cues everyone that the noiselevel is getting too high. Make a family rule that a moment of silencewill be observed if anyone, including the youngest child, signals forless noise.

Make a "No Arguments at the Dinner Thble" Rule: Conflictisn't all bad but mealtime battles aren't very good for the digestivesystem! Arguments should be shelved and resumed at a designatedtime and place for discussion.

Plan a Weekly "Work Detail" Ahead of Time: This should includea list of individual responsibilities for meal preparation and setting andclearing the table. Family members should rotate these jobs from weekto week. Preplanning eliminates much last minute confusion. There isnothing more chaotic than an ADD family trying to work togetherwithout the direcrion of a plan! \fhen other family members pitch into help, the cook is free to join the family instead of aimlessly wander-ing around fetching things. The family should follow a rule that noone sits down to eat until the meal is on the table.

Maintain Order by Establishing Struchrre: Meals should have acarefully designed structure for dinner conversation. Structure, order-what is this, boot camp? What happened to the idea of home as theplace you can let your hair down and be yourselft Letting your hairdown is fine as long as Jou don't droP it in someone else's foodt In familieswith ADDers, there is a good possibility that letting one's hair downwill disintegrate into a family free-for-a11.

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Structure and order can take the form of a family ritual or tradition.The ritual signals the beginning of special, shared family time. It canhelp family members put aside the stresses of the day, concenrrate onbeing with each other and become aware of the comforrable haven ofhome. \7hen the family has gathered, s?y grace, recite a poem or singa song. Tiy a "Show and Tel[" time for sharing anecdores or tellingjokes. Begin your meal with word games, trivia or threaded stories thateach person builds on in tum. The ritual can be anything. The idea isto impose structure so family members take turns and learn to listen toeach other.

Change the Rules: If someone is having a difficult day or is particu-larly hyperactive, she should have permission to leave the table. Justbe sure to have an established procedure for requests to miss family meals.

If All Else Fails, Eliminate Family Meals: They are a lovely conven-tion and can help families connecr. In an ADD family, however, thedisadvantages of a family meal can ourweigh the advantages. \7hentemperamental characteristics come together in a small space, themixture can be combustible!

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PR: "Family meals are nothing more than a memory for my family. Dur-ing our initial visit to our therapist, we decided that our nightly ritual fre-quently destroyed an otherwise reasonable day and had to be eliminated.

Our family meals resembled a hotly contested sporting event withangry opponents. My hyperactive son is particularly sensitive to smellsand is an extraordinarily picky eater. Jeremy spent most of our tortuousdinner hour falling off his chair and using his gifted verbal skills tocompare the smell of the meal to various decaying animals. My husbandperfrormed as head coach of the opposing team. He spent most of themealtime describing the lack of food in his parents' mountain villagein southem ltaly. He used every means at his disposal to force Jeremyto eat. I donned my referee's cap, quoting scientific research to supportmy assertion that our son would not die of malnutrition-and I attempt-ed to maintain order.

The compromise that Dr. Melowsky helped us reach reduced the stressand brought peace to our kitchen. \7e decided that we would inviteJeremy to dinner but he wouldn't have to join us. The dinner rule wasthat he could decline to eat with us but had to refrain from characterassassination of his mother's cooking. \7hen he finally got hungry hewould be responsible for fixing his own sandwich and cleaning upafter himself.

I suppose one could argue that we gave in to our son by letting himskip the family meals. But the key is that we didn't eliminate our rules.\7e simply changed them to meet our family's needs. The family har-mony has been well worth the skeptical and disapproving looks of out-siders who don't understand the dynamics of ADD."

'We're going to leave the family dinner and join the Baker family in an

Outing Ordeal. \7e invite you to join the scene already in progress.

Family Fun: An Evening at the Movies

The Baker family is getting ready to go out for a movie and Jan feelsmore anxious with each passing moment. As usual, she feels perplexedthat she's always late for everything. Before the children were bom,she had always managed to get to appointments on time. She doesn't

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stop long to ponder this because Jennifer interrupts, asking where herpurse is and A-y engages her in combat over the outfit she won't becaught dead wearing.

As she begins to put on her make-up, Tom demands a consultation onhis slacks and the color of his sweater. Amy's discovery that her blouseis wrinkled sends Jan running to the laundry room ro iron it. Now im-mersed in distractions, she momentarily forgets the time deadline anddecides to pick up the dirty laundry on her way downstairs. \fhen shegets to the basement, she starts working on a stained pair of jeans andthrows Amy's blouse in the washer instead of ironing it.

The timer she set as a waming for the family to finish their prepararions,goes off. Jan realizes with a start that she has gotten off track again!She arrives back in her bedroom to Jennifer's bloodcurtling screamsfor protection against A*y who has threatened her with death if Jen-nifer doesn't stop hiding her shoes. As rhe time ticks away and thestress mounts, the yelling gers louder as everyone blames somebodyelse for the problems with getring ready on rime.

Finally all the members of the Baker family are ready 16 ls2ys-every-one except Jan. Zachary, the only person who took care of himsellattempts to come to his mother's aid as the rest of the family accusesher of making the family late, again!

Notes: Outing Ordeals

Many of us with ADD aren't well known for our punctuality. With ourtime sense, or lack thereof, we regularly set new records for travel timefrom point A to point B. Somehor, we manage to climb in our carsprecisely at the moment we're supposed to be arriving at our meetingon the other side of town! \7e have trouble organizing, we gerdistracted and we routinely forget things.

Getting oneself organized to be somewhere at a cerrain time is difficult,but getting an entire family organized is infinitely more complicated!If your family is anything like either of ours, geming dressed and outthe door for an outing is a major production. Jan can't figure out whyshe's always late but it really isn't hard to understand. If you multiply

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the difficulty by the number of people in a family, the extra time re-quired grows exponentially as family relationships do when each newmember arrives.

This scene is avoidable if the family designs an action plan. Without aspecific plan, an ADD family's Outing Ordeals will continue. The fol-lowing suggestions might be useful for your family's action plan.

Survival Tips for Outing Ordeals

Identify Individual Dynamics: The first step is for each family mem-ber to identifu her unique contributions to the family's disorganization.It's easy to point the finger at someone else-each family memberdoes contribute to the general disorganization and chaos. A moreproductive approach would be to help each family member decide whatshe needs to do to be ready on time. Then the whole family can cometogether and figure out an action plan.

For instance, Jan may require an uninterrupted half hour to get herselftogether and Tom may need help choosing his clothing since he's color-blind. If Tom and Jan discuss their needs in advance, they can strike abargain. Tom can agree to give Jan the time she needs by running inter-ference with the kids and saving his own requests until she's ready. Jancan agree to give Tom her undivided attention to help him choose anoudit after she's ready.

Establish Family Responsibilities: The family needs to think throughthe chores that must be done before anyone can leave. \7ho will feedthe dog and put her in the basement? !7ho will have the responsi-bilities for tuming on the porch lights and answering machine? Thedivision of labor should be explained and assigned in advance to eachof the family members.

The planning may even need to include things such as a bathroomschedule to avoid the problem of everyone trying to get in to one ortwo bathrooms at the same time. It would also help if everyone getsdressed and ready in separate areas so they don't distract one another.Clothing should be assembled and laid out well in advance, so there'stime to do needed laundry or repairs.

Prepare a Work Detail for the Family: To reduce the number of "l

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forgot's" or "'What am I supposed to do's", give everyone her own check-list of responsibilities.

Reduce Distractionss It never fails that the phone rings in the middleof preparations. Take it off the hook or rum the answering machineon. This isn't the time for reading rhe newspaper or watching TVeither. The "No Distractions" rule for mealtimes should apply as well.The television should be off-limits, the newspaper or other reading mare.rial set aside, and the stereo tumed off.If someone operates more effi-ciently with background music, she should wear headphones to reducethe distractions for other family members.

Set a timer: Jan's use of a timer is a good idea but she should probablyset it to sound a warning and then a final signal when it's time to leave.To allow for a margin of error, the departure time should should be setearlier than is really necessary. It's nice to have extra time to clean upthe dirt from the flower pot Jennifer knocks over when she cartwheelsinto it!

If it's important to get to an event on time, a pre-waming signal shouldbe set. This gives everyone plenty of time ro ger dressed and ready be-fore the second waming rings. Family members can read, watch TV orplay short games during the extra time.

If all this careful planning seems like roo much work, weigh it againstthe stress and conflict your family experiences when it operates in theusual fashion. Tiv it both wavs before vou decide.

\7e have explored some techniques for creating the important balanceof rights and responsibilities within the ADD family. But implemenra-tion can be tricky. HOW CAN YOU ESTABLISH RULES WHENEVERYONE IN YOUR EAMILY HAIES RULES AND RESISTSFOLLOWING THEMI

This dilemma will be our focus inframework for designing a systemoperation and minimizes conflict.

the following chapter. \Ue'll offer aof family government that fosters co-

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CHnprr,n 12-

Principles of Governmenf:Familv Stvle

S,r.."rrful families operate as democratic institutions. The parents havespecific rights and responsibilities and so do the children. Collectivelythey leam how the process works through the experience of living in thefamily unit. It is understood that each member plays a different role andcontributes differently to the effective functioning of the group. In ADDfamilies, however, the interplay of yorz and me rs less clearly understood.

Similar to a country under siege, the ADD family stands poised, readyfor defensive maneuvers or attack. Since various family members mayresist following rules or have trouble with the give and take essential tosuccessful relationships, continual conflict may become a way of life.

It's difficult to eliminate these counterproductive power struggles. Butit is possible to reduce their frequency and intensity. To help you accom-plish this, we'd like you to think about the model of family govemmentthat follows. If you can make your family's system of government moredemocratic, you may find that things will go more smoothly.

In the mini-society of the family, the parent must assume the role ofpresident. If you're a parent, the ultimate responsibility for a successfulgovemment is yours. But every president needs legislative and judicialbodies that provide a system of checks and balances and a method forensuring compliance of rules.

Every president needs an advisory council. The key to establishing aworkable system in your family is sharing tfu authonty. A shared familygovernment means that each person functions as a participant in the

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lenbe uB sBr{ auo.{ranE 'Suneeru l,11ue; eluf,npord e ro; IBnuesse sralnr srq1 :uoqudnlued alpnpoddo pnbg Jo alnu eql erroJufl

'sseusnq ̂(ue stcnpuoo dlyrue;eql arojoq saln] Jo lsII aql PBar Alqeqord plnoqs dreterces ar{t 's8ur

-toeul ̂ \eJ lsrrJ aql SuunC .enrtcnpord Burteeru eqr sdaa>l rBqr eJntf,nJtsseplnotd eurrt Surpua peqsrlqBtse uv .Jnoq uB Jo lununxBu B qtr^{

satnurur l,rrrqr ot []uamt tseel tB aq plnoqs s8urtaaru eql Jo uopeJnp eqJ

'srolf,BJ sserlsJo asnBf,aq eepl poo8 e Llpraua8 t,usr loorlf,s uro{euoq eluof, uerplrql aqt Jo ryo^{ luo{ eluor{ seurof, pBC Jo tuol^i sB uoosse Sutleall[ 'PoxeleJ ]soul sr [11rue; eq] terlt eutn B tB laatu ol aer8e ol fu1

'rsBI III^\ Surtearu

^ qree 3uo1 Aior{ lnoqB epBru eq osle plnoqs uolsrf,ep y .eoe1d puB alurlSurraaru B uo ear8e pue teruroJ eqr eulurretap IIIr!\ Lllure; aql ,ieqla8ol

'Surlaaru L11rue; aqr ul pe/y\ollo; aq III^{ reql sernpef,ord aqr epnlcurplnoqs selnr aseql :Eurlae;41 leplq aqf Eul.rne selng qsilqefsg

'elnpeqls s,Llyrue; eqr Suruueld urereredo-of, ot puB selnpeqf,s u.,',\o rrer{t Jo {f,Brr Surdael rol &11q1s

-uodsar e{Bt ot sreqrueru d11rue; sa8ernof,ue slql .s1ooq ruaururod-de leqr arepdn PuB selnpeqls Jrer{t e8ueuear uBf, sJeqrueu l,11rueg'luaAe

IEIf,os ro Leld loor{ls Suturocdn uB tnoge sn\ou>I euo[rana tBr{los Iea/h Sulruoc eqt roJ salnpeqls s,,{11ue; eqt aleulprooc ot pasn

aq osle uer Surteeur eql 'lroddns lBntnlu puB seJoqc ,i11ue; ,slure1d

-uIoJ 'senlea 'seopl Jo UoISSnJSIp eqt JoJ unJoJ e eprnoJd ot sr esodrnd

eql 'srequeu ,i1lule; IIE ̂ q pepuetlB puB palnpar.{rs .tFe1n8ar sr 8ul-taetu ,(11rue; aql 'IJo^/\ saldrcuud leraua8 aseqr ,!\oq raprsuoJ s(te-I

s8u4ael4[ ̂11ure{ uftsa(I olsaldnrrud lereueg aqr E.rlsn

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Page 251: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'rol^€qeq ud\o slq roj elqlsuodser eq lsnluuosrod qrBE 'anbluqcar

InJdlaq ro alqerdelre uB l(usl 'acol sPl,Ioaulosq 4nBuma? ro Sutrueelcs 'Sutlle1 'rueqr Suueqroq s(ler{d\ lnoqe {lel

ot 8urfut eroJaq lortuof, repun ra8ue rleql le8 ot Peeu sreqruetu L11ueC

ESII,\OUdI^IOO CI NV AIVIIOCEN'9'tlun Algrue; aqr Jo suollelf,adxe PUB sleo8 ssncstq '9

(('JaAAU trOr\.,, lO ,,Sr{,BltlB no ,,'se qcns saserqd fuoleurruegul pue saSrssatu - no Plony

't

'l,e1o tou sI Sutruelqpue Sutzlf,Illrr 'Sutrntcal 's8utlaej

IBnPI^lPul uo snf,oC 'C

'{lBl ol selnulru

to reqrunu X serl oq^\ raleeds eqr Sulldnrretul PIo^V 'Z

'crdol eql or {f,lts 'I

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Page 252: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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uI 'asodrnd srqt roJ Suueeru eqt aJntrnJts ol s,{em IBJeAes tseSSns II,o/A,'8urn1os-uralqord puB uoltnloser tf,ruuor ro; lurod Surtrels eqt sapl^-ord ll 'tueuodrur eroy,q 'Jlesrl ur lercrleueq sr Suueqs slqJ :Eu1rt1og'ruel{ord pue Equr.lolsu.rpJg a^preJffl roJ Eunaa;41 er.p ernlrn4s

'suondnrrelur tuanbar; pue esrou tnogB urelduoc rq8rul dlpe; eqt ureuofuenE 'qrnu ool tun{ re 3ur11a^ [q s8urlaa; srq Surung sl ruolAl ]Br{lureldruoc rq8nu uos JnoI 'noL ot Suruetsrl ueeq t(useq asnods rno,{ teql

uJef,uof, sserdxa rq8rur no (('JeqleSot op ot Suro8 eJ(eA\ tBqA\ esooqceru tal t(useop eq-eurl leroads l,ru tcedseJ t(useop pBCL, ro ,,ure8req

ar{r Jo ued srq ot l3rts t(uo/h pecl,, :spJo^\ eleudordde erour esn eqsrBqt 'renemog 'tsa88ns uec no 'slueturuof, Jaq tdaoce plnoqs no1 .tleuoP t(useq eq esnef,ag uBaur s(eq teql ureldruoc tg8rur aqs 'Surleeru

tuerrnr eqr Jo tJets eqr rV :arq8nep rnol, gtlrn Lep rlcea arult leroads;oselnulru,buerlu pueds ot peer8e enerl rq8rru pBC 'Sunaeru snorrrerd B rV

'tuer,b dssoq e sr ruoJn{ 'ureldxa ot af,ueqf, B eru enr8 t(useop ruoy\'r{sIJIes sl ruol 'srrlecuoc Lru ot uortualte Surl,Bd t,usr tuol

'qols e sr dreqceT'ueeru q Pec

fe,re sLot sn{ Surltnd ](usr [nrqteT

'elu qtr/rr elurt lerceds Surpueds t(usr PBCI

('' 'no ) alupdo.rddeul (' ' '1aa; 1) alepdo.lddy

's8urtp ,{es ol sdem eleudordde;o seldruexe qlr^t tsrl ueltrJ/v\ B ser{auolrana;1 dlaq rq8nu t1 'ra8ue Surtelecse ro Sunurod-ra8ur; lnoqtr^\s8utlea; Jo suolssardxa are l,aqr JI Lelo eJB stureldruo3 '{ee^\ snorna.rd

arp Suunp Suro8 ueag seq eJIl l,llrue; ,!\oq tnoqe 3ur>11e1 surnt e{BlPlnoqs sJaqrueru l,lyueC 'uolsses snornard eqr jo setnunu eqt pBeJ ol

,{relarces eqt >lse plnoqs eq 'Suuaeru eqr Jo Suruur8eq aqr rV 'IIBr oref,uer{f, B seq auo,{-rarre arns 8ur>1eru pue epuaSe aqt Surlytuepl tepro olSurtearu erp 3ur11ef, roJ alqlsuodseJ sr rrerlf, eql .srseq Surletor B uo aloJ

drgsrepeel er{t erer{s plnoqs auol,rang 3lorolor4 Eupaa4 eqf ueI.I

'sa8nssau -1Sutsn ualqord eqt tno llet ot ,{pear sl er{ 'u.trop paurlef, seq aq uer{r6,

'rcafqo e]Brurueur uB Surpunod ro yeru eteq;o acerd peJe^rlepun ue 8ur-trJ^\ '{colq er{t punore Suruunr 'auo1e go Suro8 Lq umop Jetuturs rq8ru

uosred I'r8ue eqJ 'ra8ue 8u1sn;;lp ro; ueld B epnlf,ul rq8rur salnr rnol

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Page 253: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'stsrleJeuaS uBqr rer{lBJ

stsrler)eds oq ot puat sreqruetu eroq/!\ LltrueJ CCV rno,( ur ,{pelnctUed'roqel

Jo uorsrnlp a^rteeJf, E errnbar 1ym slqJ 'uoltelto8eu pue Surnlos,ulalqord;o a8ers aqt ot uo elolu ot erult s,tt 'pueq uI lsII qof etll qrlrN

'uortedtcltred ,{ttunlroddo lenbg Jo elnreqt ecJoJue tsntu Jepeel agf 'rclguoc,o ef,Jnos e ,{lluanbar; sr slql ef,uIS's9o[]o tsII e atereua8 ol tndut s,euo,i;ane esn uec /,pue] eql 's8utlaaru

l,11rue; Jo snf,oJ eqt ueryo eJe seJoqc ,i11rue; lnoqe suotlsenb PUB sulacuoO

'8urrr1os-uralqord puB uolssnf,slPretBl roJ arntf,nJ]s aqt ouorsq III^\ rsll slt{I'Peuollualu sI leql Sutgr-Arena pJof,al plnoqs [re]ercas eql'Suneeur aql Surzrlodouotu tuou

uosrad euo tuenard pue snooJ urBturetu dl".{ uef, sIqI 'strlef,uof, uattlJn\

Jo tsII B t{tl^{ Suttearu eqt ot eulof, ol euo,{rene ro} 1ryd1aq eq Leu r1'srrreouoc Suueqs Jeqrueru ,(1pey qcee gtltt IBtuJoJuI eq uef, ssecord eqJ

'SuturotsuleJq q8norqr trresseceusE esrnoJ pue (s)uoltnlos aqr Jo ssauolllce;4a eql elBnlB^E '9

'cta'stgeueq'salcetsqo elqrssodssnf,srp pue (s)uoltnlos paar8e eqr Jo uolletuerueldrur UBI.I '9

'seepl IBUOIIIPPB

re#o pue sleo8 urel 3uo1 puB rroqs sB suoltnlos elenle^g 't'suousaSSns

1epJo)eJ pue SuruuolsuleJq q8norqr suoltnlos eleJeuaC '€

'stf,BJ Jo slueuerers.q8norqt urelqord aql eul;aQ,'Z

ssncsrp ot urelqord e asooqC 'I

:srualqoJd ot suortnlos jo uouerto8au enueredo-of, sI ssef,oJd snp;o leo8aqJ '8urn1os-rualqord;o sdars leraua3 eqt raplsuor s(tal '>po,latueg B sV

Lltrue; rno,( JoJ eJruf,n[s eqt eunl-eulJ ot ecueptn8

peeu [1e{l 11,no/. teqr reqruoruer ]ng tutod Sutuets e se sBaPI esaql esn'^(11n;ssaccns

/o 11n4 ot [1cur e]tnb eq uef, strlt 'renel\oq ',{11ute1 CCIV uB

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Page 254: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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-lul uB grlm IBaP ol s'{em eulos eJB eJeqJ 'uorsrcap fueurqre leqaaruosB qll.t\ eueAJelul ot eneq llln

'ruared aqr sesef, atuos ur Jo ,Surtaeur eqlJo rrBr{f, eql 'snsuesuor B qsBer ot elgEun eq III^A L11ue; aql seluttstuos

sLep Suueurerle uo qot rlncrglp e ereqs ot ear8ePlnor eldo_ed o^{} rO '{ae/!\ slqt ISBI snorpo [pelncrrred e op or eer8e.4,eru uosrad au_o '8u1teotu s({ee/r\ txeu tB ecroqc lsJr} eql JoJ a8uegcxa

ul 'salor luelrodrur l'pelncyrred [e1d uor]Eno8au pue Surure8req er5qms] slql istuB^r LpoqLrena tBqt seuo [see puB sluB^\ euo ou ]Eqt sgol

rlnrr.lJlp oq III^A ereql esrnoc Jo :uopeqo8aSl pue Eulup8leg esn

']lJ poo8 B sr ereqt erar.{A\ s{set uo ef,ueturoyad pueuortB^rtour senordul tl se dcualcrre ,i11rue; enordrul IIF{ slrlJ;r1 8ul

-uroyed 1o olqedef, tsour $ oq/r\ pue got eqt stue^{ og,ra-rrJ tseq eqt uo

. Peseq eq Plnoqs_s_9o[ oylcads lnoqB suoISIreC 'snsuasuor B qrear uBf,daql lllun suottseSSns eqr eteunurla ro ,i;lporu plnor{s sraqrueru ,(11rueg

;d1yue; eqt Jo SuruortounJ llera^o agt enordurr rl III/A, .p

2se8erue^pe$pro slrJeuaq aqt arB tEr{1)N 't

2sarr}llqB lBnpl^lpul pue sSurleeJ s(euodraneJo uortBraplsuoc B epnlcul tr seocl .z

i4e! tl sl .1 .eapl qf,Ba etBnlB^e olsuousanb 8ul,nro11o; er{t asn 'tr eperu oq^\ uosred aqr Buirclpul tnoqtr^\stlreur str asrerdde plnoqs uouBnlB^e aql .euo r{f,Be etenlB^e pue ders

txeu eqt ot o3 or eturt s,tr 'suortseSSns Jo tno sunJ d11ule; aql ueq/N

'paururad "g

r,uplnoqs srqt tnq suorlse88ns agl anbrr-rrr ot Surldurat s(tJ 'seepl Suueqs ro; fua;es Jo arer{dsorute uB qsrlqetsa

ol uollef,Iunulluof, Jo salnJ ar{l /\{olloj lsnur auorfueng 'u/\4,op ueltrJ^ir\pue perdef,3B oq tsnru 'sl tl InJasn ^{oq Jo sselpre8er uorlsa88ns fuang

'stuauu8rsse qoI tnoqe suorsrf,ep anr]eradoof, a{Btu oldnor8 eqt asn ol sr leo8 orlJ 'ra$vry1w;lo alor ar{t uo Furler tou tnoqe

rue113ln aq ot paau 11,no,{'tuered eqt sV'sploru lguoqrpgq otur IIr^tzfuen tu t(uop puB relulunrp tuere#lp B Jo tBeq aql o1 q3rBtx ol pualsreCCy irl oP l,uoq 'uerplrql rnod grlru uorlrpert aqt enurtuof, rq8nu.noz(

'e8eqre8 eqt tno 1oot s,ioq erp pue Suruol er{l pip ur dn zner8 no,{L11ute; ar{t ur spr8 er{r }l

'1eepl srqt ruoU rBJ II}rs er(e^r regr lse88ns s11odesrnoJ JO_'seloJ xes IBuoI}tpBJt Jo uortEJeprsuof, tnoqtr/r\ IJo^\ eqt epl^

-lp pue SurgrLra^e oP ot pelJedxa ol ere uetuozrr pue uetu ,sauit p"r"-re9II oseqt ul :seroqC ̂ 11wed Jo sanssl .lo; Eunlog,wal{ord esn

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Page 255: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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peppB sJer{]o aqt sluetutuof, eql re^o PBer ol eruBl{f, B sBtl uosred qlBll

'srJo#e jo esuBl€9rul ,tue uo oslB Pue peauSocarun o3ueuo tBrlt suojJa anrlrsod aql jo sseueJB/r\B uB Jelso, [".[ 'eloq/v\ B sBLlqule; eqt Jo asot{t pue sluered pue s8urlqrs slq }o seltlllqlsuodsar 1en

-pl^lpq eql 'sanrllQlsuodser ul\o $q uo snf,oJ uosrad qcBe dl".{ st$l eql

'L11ue; eql ur uosrad r{cee ,{q sruaruluoc ePnlcut III^\ rl'{c"q rsII leq UeB ruoyq ueq^46 'stsll eqr }o qree ol slueruulor u^\o rleqr

ppe ,treqrezpue raluua['[ruv 'P"C 'ruoyyelqel aqr Punore IrIn] uIuosred qcBa or passud ere stsll peraldruoo egt IIV

'fuBq)ezPue reyluuef'[*V 'p"C ro] stsrl lBnpl^lpur e1eru ot suoue^resqo rar{ sasn eqs 'lst1

leuosrad Jaq petaldnroc seq tuoJAI uar{A\ 'elduexe roC 'sreqluelu l'1tue;raqlo eql jo qf,ee roJ lsII rBllluls B se{Blu euo,{rane uaqJ 'oQ

?lnoc Is8ury; tEiO puu Kyrun J ^p oi ruonnqryuoJ (yrq :surunlof, o/v\t otul PaPl^

.lp lsrJ lvllosrad B lno slllJ uosrad qceE 's{rollr urals,{s aqr A\oq sl slqJ

'llun arrtleredoof, B sBLlqule; eqt Jo speou IIBra^o eqt uo PUB suollnqlrluof, PUB saIlIIIqE IBn

-pl^lpul uo snf,oJ B ePIAord srsrl eqJ ez'PrBA\eH '-I UIBIIIIIil. PUB Stpreq

'C [lf [g'stua.tzd "ua\LWD uar,pll:11J nl \oog?uncnuuoC V :a"LaH t4S

'Iooq eqt ur parseSSns sr ,(Seterrs slqr roJ Tro^tetueg V 'slsll ueltlr^t

sasn lEql ruals,i,s peJnlf,nJls 'leruro; eJotu B uI IIaA^. IJOA\ oslB u€f, ssef,-ord eql 'a8ueqcxa

leqre^ e q8norqt seepl aleraua8 sluedtrtued 'suots

-ses Surnlos-ulelgord lsotu ul 3peJrqcn4S ag ueC EulutlolsuleJg

ioot 'seroqf, esaqt op ot e^Bq nori ',te1d JIBJ Jo rprds eql ul 'slueluu8tsse

qof asaqr uI Jlasrnol, epnlf,ul ot raqueueg '{aa^\ 8utrtro11o; eql esla euo-eluos ol eroqr peteq erll u8rssB III/I\ noA regr JBalf, rl aIBIAI raqruaul ,{11.rxBJ I{rEe }o selrlllqB pue a8e aqr ol Sutprocoe ,i.pre; seroqr Palue^\un

eql ernqlrtslp no,( regf tueuodull s,tl i,i,e/I\/,ue qot eqr u8tsse ol e^Bq

lq8p nor{ 'xoq reull eql lno uealf, ot slued\ euo ou JI 'elloqJ reqlo

ou eq l,eru areqt serulletuos rng peplo^B eq Plnoqs suolslf,ap fuenrqJv

,,'slgl lnoqe esruordurof, B uo eer8e ot TaeA\ txeu urc8efui qral' ' 'ot aplcep IIIII\ |

't1elr t(uBf, srql ef,uls 'snsuesuof, e lnoqllA\uorsrf,ep slql aIBu ot ereq,{11ear 1,,

',{,es rg81ur eH 'essBduil srgr Per{f,Berseg ,{11uBJ aql eleunlroJun Erl reqr e8pald\oulrB Plnoqs eH 'uolslf,eP Be{Bru ol eABq l,eru tuered aqt 'panloser aq tsnru assedrut eqt JI

'Suttaaru

txeu erp tB uolssnf,slp ro; pelqet eq uBf, lf 'ltem uec uolslseP eql jl 'assed

ilAz\/uc uo ardrus'LZv-l roN hl,I NVEhI no^

Page 256: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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lellBrBd 'crrcads B e^Bq plnoqs {sBr qf,Ba ,uerp151c raSunod qrlrN

ia8ere8 aql uI rno rq8yu LepFC fuana Surpueds qsrler t(useop oq,r\ Llpe;eqr Jo tser er{t ol JrBJun eq oslB ,{eu pre^\er paua;erd srH iruooJ sn{ ol

seoqs srq 8ur>1et Jo {sBt slr{ JoJ u^\olqra^o eq Leu pJe^\er tBqt Jo rotf,BJenle^ eqr lnq rq8tu i(epFC fuane Jlesurq ot esnoq eloq^\ eql tue/r\ d1rur

Leru ltrctqte7 'sJeqruelu LlFue; Jeqlo uo pJB/r\aJ eqt;o rcedull aql iueprE^\ar oqt Jo ssaurlBJ aqt 'uosrad eqr;o Lr111qB puB e8e eqr epnlf,ur

Plnoqs srotf,ec 'dno.l3 e se ,t11rueJ eqt Jo asoql pue slseralur pue speeuIBnPI^lPur qtoq Jo srsBq eqt uo epBtu eq plnoqs sprB^\er tnogB suorsrf,ec

'ruolnl grlm eturl peldrualurun Surpuads ot tuearcecr etBlof,oqr Surlea or nI Surqclezlr luo{ Surqrdue spnlcul uBf, tBql

lsII IBnPI^lpul ue setaldruof, auor{rang 'serlrlrtJe atrJoAB} sezrualr reqlfsrlarua.Latat"4 ,sp.Lamad B sr srql'rsll prnlt B tno IIrJ uE3 uosrad qlBE

'sreqtuaru d11ue; IBnpl^lpur dq uesoql aq plnoqs spre^rer ,enrtre#e tsorueq oJ 'slueruu8rsse qof Jo uonaldruoc InJSSaJJns JoJ uanr8 ag uBf, spJB/r\aJ'lcegcLed e ot rBIIrulS 'ruetsAs rno,t;o rred elqenle^ B eg uBf, luouecroJ-ureJ anrtrsod f,rlBruetsLS :s.raqurenl Lpureg JoJ slrBJluoc doleaaq

iKyanncnpofi punKyaaunnQoor a.Lour uoncunt K1gtuot ary 41ay4sa srp mnoA

iflun K11unl a\i ojKyaancat{a arour affiqtLiuor lvnpu\rryt ary d1ay4w sl\1mnoy

iasP auoauns \1!n{,Tannn"taQooJ auop aqr ?lnoqs ro lsai uos.La4-auo n srp sI

irct palrns .Lanaq e asla auoaulrrs wlf 4sa D st\j sI

i8uluu"opa{ to aHp4nc s nqurau Klltunt a\i w\i Butytauos lspt slr/r sI

:3urno11o; eql e)il1 suorteraprsuoo uo snroJ plnor{s 8ur>1eru-uorsrf,epeqJ, 'lBre^as erunssB plnoqs sluared puB uerplltlc replo ellq/h ,Jsoru

1B s]sEl oz\{l ro auo uo eler plnoqs uerpllqc reSunotr .o{Brrepun o1 {sBltuetrodul lsotu eqt esooqo uosred qtee sdleq eloqd\ e se d11ruq eqJ

'eJoqf,

srq esooqc or ,{peal sr Jeqrueru r{11ue; qf,Be ,uorssnf,slp dnor8 e pue A\erAeJslql raUV 'uoltBf,lJIrBIO roJ urF{ {se u€f, etls 'elour fuegce7 Surgreruos

lnoqB uorlsenb e seq lllohl JI 'rsll

leurSuo srq ot rueql aredruoc o] puB

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Page 257: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'seJoqf, Peu8rssB Jleql

uJoped or IIB, Legr jl sef,uanbesuoc erp rdeccB ol ear8e ot e^Bq stuered

aqr usAE 'llun e se ,(1IruBJ er{r Jo uollBredoor eJnlf,nJls Pue a8ernoc-ue ot st Suucenuof,;o leo8 oql 'lBlluassa sr Leld rreg 1no[ ro; u8rsep

,(arp sto€Jtuo3 er{t ur tuedrcrued eAItf,B uB osle tnq stJeJluoc s(ueJP-llqr rno't Jo rotBusIuIIuPB eql eq Lluo lou Plnoqs noA 'luered er{l sV

l,11ue; erllue aql PUE

I€npl^lpu aqt ot lelf,Ileueq Pue rl€J eq lsnru qllq^A lueuleer8e ue o

PJE/heJ eql roj,btunlroddo

er{t Jo ssol :af,ueruro;red-uou JoJ soJuenbesuoc aql }o lueruelels B oluotl^\ Aq Pue

uant8 eq III/\\ lI uerl^\ 'qcnru ^\oq :PJB^ry\aJ eqr jo uotldtrcsep B o

:ilffi:faq tsnru tI '€

Surryornr

t(usl tl JI tuerueer8e er{l }o Ued /.ue Suuerle roJ acueA\olle uB o'f,le (tuered aqr gtltr PoTELIS eq III^A Sutuealc Suuds uIoU e8eqre8

BJtxo 'eI :ef,ueruro;red {sBt er{r ol suotldeoxe Jo luaruelBls € oJequerul .1rue;eq1Jo,br1lqepuee3eeq]o]ryrddeueo

selqeulgDv eq lsntu 1l'7

suoueStlqo IF IIIJInJ llluatssuoc PUB ,{Fsauoqot tueulear8e;o tueluatets e sB sJeqruaru ,i11ue; eql,o sarnleu8tso

{set eqt }o sluaruartnbar eqr IIB;o uortdlrrsep €oeuoP eq o1

sI lI uauo /v\oq PUE ueq^r PUB lsBl eql oP lllll\ oq^'\ jo lueluelBls BoIUJOj UollIJz\'\' UI o

q15tds-aq tsnut rl'I

'3urmo11o; aqr epnlf,ul Plnoqs lf,Brluor e '1n;esn

eq oI .luaueer8e eqr Jo sruret eqt sapnlf,ul teqr tf,Ertuof, IBnPI^lPuI uesu8rs uosrad qf,Be 'spremer

PuB s>lsel aql uo sear8e ,(11ute; eqr uaqlfi

'Iooqryeqc

B ur papJof,eJ strsodap ro rel B ur palBlnrunJf,E sdlqc ralod eq uBf, s]ulod.enFA str ot Surprocce pacud pJBft\eJ a8rel B ((eset{f,Jnd,, ot PatelnrunJf,-B aJB

sturod 's>lsel jo eJueturoyed Joj spJe^\er ctyceds ueqt Jeqler stutod sesnuras,ft {luouoca ubpt slql 'sPJBA\aJ re8rel Pu€ s sel IBJeAes esooqf, oqr!\(s)ruered eqt pue uarPllql rePlo eql qll^\ Pesn eq uer uels,{s lurod y

ii IZVUC UO AIdruS'XZVI rON h{,1 Nv:lhl nOI

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CCV rno^ ur ruared aqr ere noL JI 'CAV grl,n euoeuros Jo slllls e118er;

eql uo spuBr.uep 3ur3ua11eqc AFelncrued salelu Surtres Lllrue; eqJ

iuoqraped Jo suopslcadxg lsureEy prenC

'e;11 l,11ute; Jo stcedse enursod agt Surrerq-elef, pue suorsrf,ap lentnu Surleru 'tcrguoc Surznurulur Jo, l,em tuel

-lef,xe ue eq uec s8urteeur L11ure; 'alntJnrls eqt Jo sselpre8eg .stf,€JtuoJ

8ur,{uedurof,f,B tnoqtrnr Jo qtrn{ 'suorsses Surnlos-rualqord IBuJo}ur JoIBturoj-por{tatu lsaq eql eu[ura]ep ot peeu serlnu€] IBnpl^lpul

'esn

lsnru no,( arntcnJts PaqlJf,serd ro elnruJoj cr8eru ou sr eJer{l 's8uueeurA11ute; rnol Jo selnJ ar{] aJe uorlef,rununuoJ annrsod pue Leld JIEJ JI

'trnq aq rela plnoqs s8urlea; s(euo oN .rBj ool oB ol[see s(]r-q3eordde snorournq eqr grlrn eref, e{eJ .3ur>1eerq-elnr qrl^\

Surleep roJ poqteu aql grlrlr elqBtroJruor ag ot speeu L15ue; eloq^\ aq1

'sosuelJo srq stsrl reqt ralsod paruDylsoyrq B uo reeddero tseor ,{ruqalec e ur atedrcrtred ol aABq III^{ repuego rseS8lg s,lee^.l

aqr sdeqre4 'a8al1ntrd e Jo ssol eqt ro seroqf, €nxe tauoru ur aurj srqded or e^Bq rq8nu reTeerq-elnr er{J iploqesnor{ eqr ur euo peteq tsoru

aqr sdeql3d-3vsqf, Brtxe uB uosred aqr ,(rq lq81ru srelcrts Jo roqunupeuruueraperd V

'tJeqf, B uo sJa{f,rts ((ut\op squnqt,, uenr8 eq IIrA\ sJe-puego ter{t eplcep rq8mr l,lyrue; rno1 'euo anrtrund B uer{l raDeq {ro^r

,(eu qceorddB peueer{lq8ll e tng uelsrts u/r\o rno,i, tno lro/n uBf, no1

'salnJ Jo seJoqJ Jo ef,ueruroyed-uou Jo, saulJ tlsllqelse ol lue/t\ lq8ru Llpte; rno,( 'saar8e auofuana se

3uo1 sV 'ruetsr{s agr ot peppe eq uBf, secuanbesuof, anne8eu tnq peuetsla8 ol de,r rsaq eqr sr{eznle sr srqJ'eouerlduoc e8ernof,uo ol sacuanb-asuof, IBJntBu pue spJEd\aJ enrtrsod asn petseSSns en(elr seurleprn8tf,Buuof, aqJ :ulalsLg EulleerluoC eql ol sacuanbasuoC ppv

(npuedde aeg) 'fulunoc aqr rnog8nonp ,(lecrpouad pleq ere pue gdlaq L1-Jelnf,rued ere 'Sunuered eAuf,aJE ro; SururB{ JrtetuetsLg 'sure.rSord

.IEIS'EaJB rno,{ ut sselJ Suttuered e aroldxe ot nol, a8ernof,ue osle plnoA{ a/1'PBer uec no[ slooq ef,ueJa]er ro tsrdeJeqt rno'{ ol uorssncsrp grdep-ur uBeleal III^\ e/N 'pasn eg uer stf,€rtuof, ̂\oq;o Lenrns Jatrg e ,{1uo q slqJ

El^l.s A1InVC :JNEhINNE^OC lO SsldlJNIUd

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'serlnuBJ u.ry\oJreqt JoJ uouerceJdde uB pue tuarutrluruoo peueqt8ueJts gtlnrt [emeetuof, Lllensn [".{J'se188nrrs rreq] puetsrepun pue areqs sraqto [ueur

ter{t Lrenocsrp eqr re [o[ pue ]ueuqsruotse sserdxa sluared tsotu '8ut

-teotu dnor8 uoddns CAV tsJrJ rraqt tB eou€puane reUV 'sanssl rellurlsgtlm leep oq^\ sroqto Jo suoltsaS8ns pue rroddns aqr asi 'dnor8 aqr

Htlm sessef,rns rnor( erBrls 'setlllueJ ccv ro; dnor8 uoddns B Puellv

'dn anrE releu pue suoga rno,( Joj jlesrno,t alelnler8uo3 ina(" $vI to laamisnl ro (,vpt"ara{" or paredruof, {vpol Sutuoucun} tlun l'1yue; rno[ sI ̂ \oH

'sdets IIElus ur ssef,f,ns eJnseetu ot pue sserSord uo snf,oj ot sI Le1 eq1

'srequau Llyue; Ienpl^lput rnoL lo asoqt pue seltlllQestpun\o rnol uanr8 eq uec no,{ tuared rseq eqr aq,{eur no,{ rng 'sueetu

reqt Jeleter{1!\-tuared rce;rad B eg tou [eru no 's]uared ragto ot tou

JlesrnoL ot slll{s Suttuared rno,{ areduoc ot ur€el ot e^Bq no 'a^ol

pue uorssedruoc 'roruntl 'aJueJelesrad 'Alrnrlearf, Jo sa/iJasar ;no[;o

plor{ qer8 pue }lesrnoL eplsul qoeer ot e^Eq no.,i, 'sa8uelleql eqt leeruoI 'erult ot erult ruo5 s8urlaa; eser{t ut dn rq8nec sta8 sn }o qlBE 'euo

cQv-uou B ol ,i1lure; rno,( Suuedulos Jo derr aqr otur IIB} or [sea s,l1

lLddeq puepersnlpe IIeA\ os stuaes l'1tule; esoq^\ puelry B ot tuoJed e se seItIItqBrno,i, Suueduroc no/, arv isuonelJadxe f,Itslleerun q8noJr{t eJnll€J

ro; dn;1esrno,{ Suruas nol, ary '[11tue; CCV rno,( Jo asoq] Suttdecce

lB ryo1!\ osle lsnur nor{ 'sacueJa#lP enbtun u1v\o rnori, SuudacoB lB {JoA\no,i. sy's,0S6I eqt uro# uIof,tIS uolslnelor l,ddeq eql uo euo eql eTI aqreneu Leur l^1pe; CAV uy 'Surruered pue ,illule! lo seapl rnof {ulqreg

'spaau Jraqt ot jlesrnol, eor;lrces no,{ JI rueqrdl".t l(uef, no,t rng no[ peau L11rue; rnol ur aldoad

".{J 'sPeeu u^\o

rno/. uo sncoJ ot IIB; Leru noL 'estmreqro 'uarpllql ACV rno,t roJ a^Bq

noL srea; pue suref,uof, aqt r{tr/!\ pardncroerd Sutruof,eq tsute8e pren8tsnlu no 'af,uarted

Jo sanJeser rno/. azrBraueal pue dnor8ar ol peauno 'Jeqrra ,(Irue; rno/, luou le/l|e atur] etuos elBr ol elBllseq l(uoc

'dl"q leuorsselord re8 ol etetlseq t(uop 'sue1q

-ord elqBtunoruJnsur LlSunuaes Lq peulor{/!\relo 8ul1ea; are PUB ,illute;

I/IZVUC UO AIdnJS 'LZV'I JON I^{,1 NVEIAI nOA

Page 260: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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rue ro; aresuedruof, or asn uBf, no^ sgr'"::il""i"1il$1Til1"t:tot eq lllnt leo8 rng 'SuruJBal pue 'fuorueru 'uortezrue8ro 'uouueue

;o Leld:etur aqt eurluexa II,ea sratderp o^\t txau egt ul 'Suruoucun;

IIBre^o Jo f,rrlenb aqr asnuorduof, uBf, rBqr sef,uara#lp -searB aseqluI sef,uereJJlp anbrun tsaJluBru CCV grlrn stlnpe l,ueyrl '8uru.rea1 pue

fuoruau 'uortezrue8ro ot sef,ueJaleJ eperu el(a/v\ {ooq eqt tnoq8norql

.ssnssr Jeqloaruos ol uo enour ol erurt Etr rnq sureJg Jno otur dod,teqr se s8urqr

Surppe enurtuor ,ilqeqord plnoc e41 's8ulues;o Arauel B ur Surce;rer-ur PUB acv Jo sf,ruBu,ip egr Surssncslp srardeqf, lBre^as luads e^(e/x\

'Surtdecce

ssel r{f,nlu ueuo sr tBql plroA\ eqt }o tser aql luog lBertar aJBS B eruos-eq uer tuogetuor{ er{r ',{1yue;

CCV eql ur luetsuof, B aq ,(eul tf,rl}uoc

;o aer8ep auos t18noql1y 'reqto qf,Be roJ erntf,nus troddns luelrodurLllerrn B aprnord uec sraqrueru l,11ure; Ienpl^lpul

'trun e se ,t11n;sserrnsuoucunj ot urBel UBJ sarlnue; CIqV

'tcedsar lentnru pue 1ro^{ preq qrlrN

E]AIS Allhlv{ :IN3I^INUE^OC lO SsldlJNIUd

Page 261: You Mean I m Not Crazy

vv7i^prJ'n'U ̂q 'ltntsBurznnuals(g ro Aeuesl6l 'N eu1 [q 'atli

paZrun&tg ar"own ol sdalg a,nlC :sB r{rns saltll gllrtt qooq Jo qf,reesur elsre dleqles eqt ro, peeq noA op 'erots>looq B ol oB nol, ueqlA, 'I

:srqt e{11Surqraruos oB rq8nu teqt orreuuortsanb B-loot cusou8elp lueuodtut

ue Sursstur uaeq a^Eq sJar{f,Jeesar sdeqred;l JaPuo/t\ sn seleru tI 'sn Jo

[ueru ro; eJll;o Aezn B sluees uol]Bzlue8rosrq ir1 pau8rseP peq TaCICVue JI peJepuo^\ pue pJec Surlear8 B uo a8essaru slr{t ^res ,{puacar e16

perledull ^ilBuortBzrue8ro eql roJ llnrIJJIC sI eJI-I

'uoltezlue8rosrp-eJll s,reCCV ue [ueru ]o eueq eqt tnoqe3ur11er Asnq te8 s,te1 'Surpeer rno[ ro; noL paredard Apadord eA(eA\ ]eql

rv\ol{ 'uorsueurKl Peccy rnol, JeAocsIP ol /Kot{ PUB suoISIf,eP Lderegr

pue eurf,lperu a>lBlu o1 /v\oq 'sltctlap III{S cglceds PunorE Iro/Y\ o1 1Kor{

-Jeccv uB JoJ ,,s,of-ffbop1,, ,{ueru lB {ool II,e/A. ire[ Les ol af,uBq] B PBr{t(ueleq am Bunltfuana tnoqe TIBI II,e^{

'{ooq eqr Jo uollf,es lsel slql ul

'qof rno,{ ot pue aldoed ot Surteler pueuouef,rununuoc Jo sanssl paroldxe a^t ueql 'ssacord cttsou8elP eqt PUBeJuBIEq ';au8 'srusrueqcetu asuaJep 'sacuare;;lp 'sa8ets

PUB sa8e 'sesneJ

puB sruordru,{s-sseulpeer uo pasnJoJ am '>1ooq eqt }o ued tsJIJ eqt ul

'srerdeqr enrJ lxeu eql ur Suro8 eJ(ed\ eJeqt\ aes ol d\eIAJeAo uB pueueeq eA(eA\ eJeql\ eas ot A\eIAeJ lcrnb E op s(te'I 'snf,o; ul UIr{s Jer{toue

s>lreru raldeqo slql asneteq 1ooq eqt lo rePuleuar er{t ro; loedxaot teq,\\ noL llar ot tuBA\ ert 'uotssnf,slP slqt uo Peuels ta8 a,r eJoleg

spotfpt^l pue stlueqtahl:uollezlueFJ0 u! 009 lo st!ufeu'{0

-tI usrdvHc

Page 262: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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rno re' or 'apu*ue' B sB.r,'"iJ:"":;XT:illi ill #HnlT:*:Jo IrBJt deal ot Ja^ror{s aqt ur qf,teA{;oord JetBA\ B Jeelr noA oq.91

2srnoL loed ot to8ro; nol, esnecaq oodrueqs roqsnJqqtoot B ro; eJrAJes ruoor Iatoq IIBI ot e^Br{ no,{ op uauo r!\oH.gI

iruoorpeq rnod Jo rooll eqt uo [elle sellur ]o spuesnoqr sr esef,trnsrnoL teqt Jagtuerual pue Iaroq rnod ol la8 noL op serun,tueur A\oH.tI

irauJoJ aqt ur pelcedunesectrns rnoA aleal noL op dut sseursnq e JaUB sLep r(ueru rv\oH.tI

;reLrp eqt ur ureqt lnd ol ro8ro; nori, esneceq sIf,oste^\ qtr^\ arue8 Jef,f,os e ot oB pllql rnof seop seurr] Lueru laoH.ZI

isJnoq JnoJ ,buamt rsed aqr uI lueqt ,{us noLplp serurt ,{ueru A\oH ;,,to8ro; L, spro/l\ aqr ,{es ,{lruanber; no,{ oQ.I I

ileel\ rsed aqr uI lueututodde uB Jo' erel nod eJeA\ sarurt [ueru A\oH'0I

ilsrl oC o1 rnod roJ tsrl oCI oJ B e^Bq nol oq i]srl oe oIE eABq no[ oq i]srl oC o1 rnoL uo petsrl no[ eneg stue]r r{ueru ,!\oH

iesnoq rnoA ur eJeqt eJB lreru peuedoun yo sepd /,ueru ,!\oH

itsrl aJotsrnor{ lnoqtrllr eJots fuacor8 er{t lB eArJJe nor{ op seurn ,i,ueru A\oH

l/.Bp fuene sLal rec Surssnu rno,{ Jo} qcJees no,i, op serurt .{ueru A{oH

ipueq tq8uJnoI ipueq r;a1 rno[ uo ue]tlJ^r eABq nor{ op sJepurruer ,i.ueu ,!\oH .s

iqtuour red serult lerales uretsr{s SutltJ A\au e Lrt nof oq .V

;raded11e^\,o peetsur satou r1-rsod grlrn stuoor rno[ e]BJof,ep nol oq .t

iu^{o no.( op s>looq Jo spurl esaqt;o lueu ^\oH .z

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Page 263: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'rualqoJd B o^Brl t(uop nol, '/,euesp Sunueas eqt grlm elqeuoluoJ ere pue,(1ysee Llenrreler peeu noL teqzn pur; trBO nol,;1 'pazrue8rosrp er,'{eql

qulqr asnods rno,( asnef,eq '{ldrurs suelqord t(ueJe ISep pue $eso1c Lsseurno :sseqs sasneC aJI'I rno uI raprosl( eqf raqlegl[ ePIceO

'loJtuoc rno puo,(eq saf,Joj;o Lc.reru eqt tBIeeJ ueuo pue plro^\ rno Jo Jlnrs pue erun aqt a8eueru ot ^\oq /v\ou1 olruees releu sn jo [uepi 'f,rlleer ,i,1yep B eq [eru pazrue8rosrp 'i11enlad:adSurleeg iperredur ,(lleuortezrue8ro erp roj rlnrlJllp peepur s1 alll 'sura1-qord aceds pue erurt (stlnpe ACIV Jo sesneo rgrcads aqt Jo ssalpre8eg

;frefs no^ oO ereYZK-.lePrO Eupea.l3

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93isnooj enrtf,eles grlm [r1nc1glp f,rseq B Jo ]lnser e ,(aqr ere rO 2CCV aqlgrlm pe8elced eruoc rer{t seurlrgeslp Surureel cgrcads ,ieqt erv irapro

-srp eqt;o sruordulds Lagl ery 'aceds pue erurl r{trl\ srualqord s(JeCCVaqt ro; suoseor rglcads erp Surpre8ar rno IIIts sr ,{rn[ eqI 'fuoueru pueuortuene 'Surureel

Jo senssr re8rel aqt ruo{ l1 eteredes ol elqrssodrul s,t1'uortezrue8ro(srp) or ecuereJar B qtrl\ rardeqc srqr ue8aq e^a q8noqlly

'stlnPB clav reqlo

[ueru grlrn Luedruoc poo8 ur ere no,i 'pe1le; no,{ }l 'ereunrro;;lasrnod

Jeprsuoc ',,JSat,, srql passed no,{ JI 'aJeq Surqraruos ot uo aq rq8nu am

lqql azn 1n9 'lsel rno Jo erJelrJc rtlsouSBrP eql PezrPJBPuBts ](ua^eq e/x\

t?*,,

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'poqtetu Suorzn ro rq8u ou sr eJeqt esnef,eq'uretslts IBuoItBzIueBro tf,artof,aqt qrlll dn Sutruof, tnoqe 'q8norp ',{rlom t(uoq 'e;11 rnoL ul JePJo eleaJf,

uec nol '8uruue1d pue ]Jo/t\ pJBr{ '[]tnttearf, etuos qrlrN it(usli11early '1set alqrssodrur uB sr ey11 rnoL Burzrue8Jo teql 1aa;,{eru noL g8noqr

-lV :uetsdg tea;ued e se Eulqa qtns oN sI ereLII rBqI reqluatueg

'repJo Jo asuas e Surdola^ap te {Jo1!\

ot uorsrf,ep snorcsuof, B aleru ot peeu no/, 'dnelld ryomaded pue seull

.pBep pessllu g]lrr,r parannlf, s1 a}ll rno,{ Pue sarlJ 1no Suulnd Llruelsuorar,noAtI'uortBuue?to grlrn uelqord B aABq no,{ znou>1 noL'reldeqc srql

ot uedo paddrg ,{lererparurul pue stuatuor }o olqer eqt Peuuecs nof

JI 'uouueDe rno,t ertnber reql a;11 rnoL Jo sEarB rar{lo aql uo snJo} PUETooq eqr Jo ued srqt drls 'nol, roJ urelqord e t(usl uoltezlue8rostp;1

'leaqs ef,uBIBq rno,{;o rred € eq Plnoqs sPeeu rleql 'L1lue; rno,(

Jo tsor er{t ol elqerdaer€ sr j}oepen srqt teqr tuetrodrul s(tl esrnoc }O'ruelqord B e^Bq t(uop no.( 'erun ee{ eJtxe Jo} #o epeJt fuorce;srtes B sBA\esnoq lssaru e ]Bqt teeqs ecuBIBq rnoL pepdruoc noL uaqn pepllep noL;1

SCoHIat\ CNV SOINVHcEI\ :NOIIVZINVcUO NI OCV ICTScIWVN C

Page 265: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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ialezr\ nod rg8noqr no.( s€ pezruB8rosrp sB eq lou Lerunol 's8ulq] eseqt jo eerqt IIB pul; ueo nor{ JI

'arulr larnb euros pue Iooq -etou Suruueld e 'ltcued e gtll\{ tJets 'sruelqord leuoneaue8ro cgrcads

rno,( lno ernBIJ oI :.rade4 pue prued e qrl/r sul8ag uonezruefuO

'retel I ot TOBq eruoo pue ell!^\ e roj {ooq eqt asolc '{peruleq/!\renoro pesnluoc Surtuof,aq;lesrnoL pur; noL JI

'elurt B tB ef,erd e 3ur11cer'slungc Jolletrrs otur u^\op rardeqc srqt 1eerg

.Surruleqn\reno eq osle,teru uopBruroJul Jo erunlon eql 'uortentrs

lenpl^lpur rno[ ot dldde rou,teru qllq^\ Jo eruos 'suouseSSns;o

IInJ 1ror{f, sr uortJes sn{t ezrleeJ eA'uon{sB} eurBs er{t ur rerdeqc srr{t Jo EurrseSrp pue SurpBer eqt qceorddy

'peaue8ro eJour Surruoceq or ,{em rno[ uo ,ipeerle ar,nor{ ,s1eo8 Jo Jequnu

petrturl e SulgsrlqBtsa ,ig 'rueqt Jo requrnu elqBuoseer B qtr^\ Surleap ro;

ueld e u8rsap ueqt pue &ualos ot Surprooce tueqt aatuoud 'seere rual-qord agt 'lrluepl ot paeu no1 iueeru L11ear no,( op teq r 'uoslad pezrue8

-Josrp e sB JlssJnoL azuetJBJBrIs nol, uagrN 'saf,erd rallerls ur JepJo JoBepI IBqo18 eql apl^lp ot peou noL 'sretrets ro{ :4u11 pazluufuO uB uIuouezruefuosrq JnoI qceo.rddv ol paeN no1 (pazruefuO

feC oI

i\log ill"tS iaulL :8ur11ouuor alqno"Li aftD\ noi oq

ipau"ws pB ot ftno\ mo aln&{ ot SurC.rt Wta4s no{" op a1.un Wnu moHpup 3uo1n "tot pasnun paurvruar aftml s?uyyt totpg

i.Laftau '{,11tuosncco '{,7luanba$nasn vtatqo asap a"tn ua{o moH

ialll mo{" WD a1.uoy tno| 11{ vcatqo wly

iur 1lonl Wn aft\ noC sacpis ayt u alqat"otruoc pat no| oq

iwap asn noC op mo\ WD auoy tno(" u satoQs a\i arD wW

:senssr aoeds pue erurt lereue8 Surrnrollo; eqt Joetuos JaPrsuof, puB lsrl rnod lnoqB lulql

'teeqs ef,uBIBq rno,{ ̂rer^eu

'noL roJ DIJoA\ teqd\ op pue ((splnoqs,, plo eqt tno ssot ot paeu noL'sr turod eql 'uraqt qsrlod ot no,{ spuruar roop tuo5 eqr l,q seoqs rno[

Surneel sdeqra4 'op or peau lllrs nod puerre eqr rnoqe ,fuoruaur rno[s8o[ r1 esnereg ua]s[s leer8 B sr qoulroop aqr uo ralcef rnod Sur8uerleql,e14 (('qou{Joop eqr uo te{cel rno,( Sueq ](uoq. . .euoq le8 no^( se

uoos se lasolf, eql uI seoqs Jef,f,os rno[ 1fld,, :sJBe rnor{ ur SurBurJ suor]-ruoupe leruared r{rlrn ateredo lllrs feur nod 't1npB ue ar,nor( qSnoqlly

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pessot sreded,{ueru oot ereqt ary lLsseur {sep rno/, sl 'sruetl-gns luerugtlrn rualqord eceds B sr ef,rllo paretlnls v

'uelgord eql jo scgrcadsaqr q8non{r lurq}'lvzett no[ Sutnlrp s] eclilo Parerlnlf, rnod;1 'raded

rnor{ uo rueqt rsrl ,i11enpl^lpur pue Bere urelqord qc€e }o stueuodruocer{t JeplsuoC 'sued alqea8euBtu erotu 're11eurs ot u^{op ruaqt SutleergAq sanssr SurL;rldurrs uo snco; stredxe uortezrue8ro Jegto pue uotsulr6

'no/, JoJ sl euo srqt tnq 'sanssr uouezrue8ro ,illrue; lno 8utryomtnoqe pa{let /.pear1e en(e4\ 'suounlos dolanap pue lsrl rno[ IrE]tB ol

selun pa8ueueard te;lasrnod gtyrr teeru ot uorsrf,ep snolf,suof, B aTBIAI'uaddeq Jeleu III/!\ tl 'tl ot punoJB la8 ol tre/r\ Lldruts no,(;1 'rsr1 8ur

-Alos-ualqord rnol g]lrn leep ot BJtxe ouros alnpeqls 'euru u1!\op aptllsnorcerd e^Bq Leru nol q8noqrlv 'eurr] eluos patse^\ a^Bq ot tdecxa

Surtpou qsrldruolle III^\ noL 'taulQec alIJ elqee8eueuun rno,{ uI erer{^\-euros rl ollJ pue rB, srqr ra8 nod;1 :tsI'I pezlflrolrd rnotr qlyh ryo/K

'lsr1 rno,{;o dor eqt ot esolf, 1l luBJ 'no.ri

uo seter8 ,{lluelsuof, ssoru aql }l lnq ^\ou rq8u euop aq ot e^Bq t(useoptesolo a8erots eqt tno Surueelo sdeqra4 'tee,l\s ou pue 'aru sraqtoq

Jo tJos 'lvzetc eru seArJP :uorlB^er88e leuosrad Jo le^el eql uo PesBqeq uec Surluer JnoI 'senssr f,Itetuelqord lsoru eqt uo Lluo Sulsnoo; pueAezn leraue8 e ur sualqord arp 3ur>1uer Lq rsrl rno,{ azdleue ol drt rq8nu

no1 'sruell xrs ot rnoJ tsrrJ eqt tnq Surqt[rene eplse Suutas l,llerrrurLq rsrl rno,{ uA\op ered 'sruolqord per;lruapl Jo sa8ed grlm dn pue nol,

I dn enr8 t(uoq tsearv uralqord Jo sraqwnN aql uo stFrI-I fnd

'tI tnoqe >1utqr no^(sB ruelqord qcea u/v\op Surlum Lq ssecord aqr enuluoC lruelqord € uo

tlq en(no/, 'rotera8u;er rnor( ul jo peetsur flaqs erots Lrecor8 eqt uo IIIrss(teqt {lllu eqt tnoqe 8ur>1unp rsnf snoIXuB IeeJ or ut8eq no,i;1 suollB-nlrs snorJBA ol sesuodsar leuoltoue rnori. ol uI paunt Lerg 'pu1u rnortuI luale ,{q tuana fr q8norqt unJ pue Lep lecrdLf B lnoqe {ulr{J

'srual

-qord cglcads Surrelosr pue Surlgrtuepl roJ senlf, Inlesn eq uEf, suoltotuateqt slseSSns /zuotsulf6 atueqdetg'paZrun8tgSuwag 'looq raq ul

'suortnlos tno {Jo/!\ /,llecrreruels[s uec nod, ossrualqord petelosr uo snf,oj ot paau no[ 'pee]sul

iuIBBe ,i.rr pue reded;otear{s reqt }Jo JBa} ',,3urql[Jale,, 'sr tsrl rno/. uo e]rJ/r\ nol, Surqt tsJI] aqljl 'peilue8rosrp

1ee; noL e{Bru teqt e;11 rnol ur s8urq] aqt tnoqe {ulr{J

SOOHIEI^I CNV S3INVH31I{ :NOIIVZINVCUO NI CCV CO S]Ih{VNAO

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092

issot uellrqtsou Pue ssoqs tu^8 teA\ qlr^r JetBI srnoqauoq anrrre [eu no 'ueq] pug ot [r..{ B Jo rlf,nru oo] ur pue ,irred Sulp-pels eqt roj erel lpearle Llqeqord er,notr 'rueq] lnd nor{ eraqt\ reqruaru-eJ ol elqe aq lou [eru nof 'slooq Jeturl\ rnod lno la8 ol eur] s(tr uaq/X\iure8e uees eq or relau 'slle;.lJnrs qr1{r!\ otur seloq IIBIq

'daap ere ,{aqa'138q/y\Brp eruoselqnon '{Felncrrred e e^Bq lnq sef,E1d reqro luou tnoreelr no[;;nrs eqr Surdunp roJ saf,Bld reer8 ere Leql is]esolr a8erotsa8rel gtl,n osnoq B ur alrl noA oq :rlrolua^ul JJqS Jno apdulo3

'ue1d uonce rnoL JoJ {JoA{-errleg B eABq 11,noL

'(*toiuaaul $aftDJ"J a{ aW saftue uDWK aqr pue ,(lol-uaftul ll"tS srql Sursn [g #nrs uo Lllecrycads sesnf,o] terlt fuoluanur ue

e{Bur pue rnot esnoq B eIeI 'plJo^\ rnoL ur raltnlf, er{r;o slsl,leue uBgtl,n sr ueld snp Surdole^ep uets ot ,(em 1ecr3o1 V

'elll rnol ]o #nts eqlJaAo loJtuof, e^eq ol SuroB er,no,{ } ueld In}eJBf, B e{Btu ot e^Bq II,noI

'peredulr ,{leuorleaue8ro uerlt peredrur Suruueld eJ(eA\ [es olelBJnJf,E aJotu Llqeqord Erl isa^lesrno JoJ op rref, arn 3un1r tuerodull tsotu

,{1:eln8urs eqr sr-asle 8urqr,{ue uBqt aroru areq sn }o lsotu Surqr aqr-8utuue1d leql eruegs e sr ,{11ear tl 'aJII rno[ Jo seere rer.{]o [ueur se

Suruueld pue tro#e erues aqt sarrnber ppom rnod Jo #rus eqr Jo lcerr 8ul-dee; 'Sutrols pue lno Suuealc :stuauodruof, o/r\t seq tuorua8eueu sselnl

'/v\ou 'luauta?vuDll{ ssaru Jo sruelqord acedsuo snf,oJ pue rerdeqJ srqr ur JetBI ro, tuerue8eueur erurl Jo uorssnf,srp

anBS II,erN 'srualgord eceds pue eurr Jo &auBA B sepnlrur ,ilqeqord

ts11 lsatrrJ aW arysaftueivlt/Krno,{ 'sllnpe CCV l,ueru oIII are no[;1

luaruaEuuu;,q sseIAI lereuac'ef,uo re Surqlfuena

xlj t(uef, nod rng 'tueuodurl aq Leru [r.{I 'lsr1 rnol, uo ](ueJB rer{ls8utqr [q pelcenslp ta8 t,uop pue sraqto ar{t arou81 'noi{ or leadde ]Bqlseapl aqt ot rueqt qrtetu ot ful pue a1,bs lenpl^lpur pue sruelqord relnf,-1rred rno[ ]noqe Iult{I

'Iro^\erueq e sB lsrl peznrJoud rno[ asn 'rno11o;

rBqt seapl pue uorssnf,srp aqt replsuoo no,( sV 'ruo]sAs leuouezrue8ro

peu8rsap Llleuosred rnoL grlm petrBls ra3 no,{ dl".{ III^\ rq pallerap slr{J

iqtuoru snornerd aqt o] peurnr IInsrepuelef, rno[ s1 2SumrogJe^o suBJ a8egre8 rno[ ery iLlssalaref, punoJe

IiAZVUC UO OrdruS'LZv'l rON r^r,l NVEhI nOI

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TSZ

0lU r5UfrmNrsUIt^Ll

i,{ezne tI ^\orqt pue a8unld aql e{Bl'Surqleulos pesn t(ueleq lllts no^ rer{t retel sqtuoru IBJaAes JeAof,sIPnoL uagl1 'A\el^er tuenbesqns Jlar{t ro; arull B elnPeqf,s PUB

'eraqn

-etuos [ezn eqf ]o lno Jo tesolf, B uI rueqf lnd 'saxoq o^\l Jaqlo rno/, uo

slsrl s(luetuof, adel 'looqetou rnoA ur Jepulruer e lo[ 'a8ero]s azItuIXBuI

ot sa^leqs Sut8ueq ro esec Toog e /.nq ot Peau noL;1 'saceld elglssecreli11peer uI stuetl pasn [leutlnor aseqt Surrrnd '*oq lsrg rnoli,qrlnt {rol1

.xoq erull 3uo1 B uI pesn t(ueABH rnoL ul ll rnd rsnf ',lou Jol 'll lnoqeSurlulqf erult etsely\ t(uop 'Sutqlaruos dael ol Jaqlaqt\ lBqA/\ lnoqe

rqnop q JI 'au!I?uo1D :urpasnl(uaftDH PUB asn {l1vuosnrro :sexoq

poleqel Lpealc o/!\t Jo euo otul ro uEf, a8eqre8 eql q oB ppoqs esle 3u1ql-Lreng 'xoq aLull a\i lly asn B ut ,{,cuanber; lear8 qrrrn ssof,f,B noL Butgr-Lue tnd 'sratJels JoC 'esn jo /.cuenba5 Jlar{t ol SurprocJe ulooJ qf,Be uI

srcelqo eq] eteredes [11ecls^r{d :sexog ftg aalqa qfr aJrla$notr urrv

'tuooJ qceo ul rannlJ eqt tno Sutreelf, Irod\ ot la8 PUB {ceq etuof,

ot erurt B elnpar{cs 'alaldurof, sr tsrl rnol, ueql6. 'fuoureru lue3eJ uI erull,(ue pasn t(ueneq pue osn /.11euorsef,Jo 'esn lleuunor no,t s8utqr aqr

:8urqr,{.rene azuo8etBf, pue surunloc aan{t ut reded rnoA ePI^lC 'sruetl

snorJBA asn nor{ ueryo d\ot{ Jo elou B eTeru 'fuoluenut rnori, op nod sy

t

SaOHJEIAI CNV SSINVHCAI :NOITVZINVCUO NI OCV CO Sllv\VNA(l

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zs7

Jno^ ueqr Jeqto sec€ld r{ueur ur srededsaeu puB saurze8eu snoeuel-larsnu purj II,nod'fuolua^ur plorlesnoq rno[ op no[ uaqn\ tBr{] teq aA\

saurze8el{ pue s.rededsrraaN

:at]nlf, PIor{-esnoqlo sef,JnosJo ^\eJ e lsnl rB Tool s(]el tng 'erots>looq

lBlol rno,{, ul

Iooq dletlgas B ruo5 seepl ra8 uec no1 'plrom rno[ Jo ]Jnts eqt Jo tsourSur8eueru gtl,nt no,{ dleq ot stradxe uouezrue8ro aqt ot tr alBel II,arA.

ilJnrs sn{t Jo ,i.ue esn JeAe t(uo^\ [11eer noL rer{r;lasrno'( af,ur^uoc sdeq-rad pue eceds 8urnr1 rno,( ruog srcalgo esag] eloruer 11,no,{ tseel lV 'rl

ur Sutqlauos peeu Lllenluana no[ ]uone ,i1e>I1un eqt ur Lpueq lsrl rno[dea; 'Jrlte ro a8ere8 rno[ ul ]l erots pue esnoq rno/,;o rred ureu eql

ruorj tr alorueg 'xog pr,pJsre ol Kpoag $outyy 'quno; B ot rueqt SurnoruJeprsuoJ 'srualr pasnun aqr Jo eruos tno A\oJr{t ot }lesJnol, Suuq t(uef,IIIts no^ JI

'peuets no[ uer{^r uaqr rer]drua [lqeraplsuof, saxoq g]lrndn pue l,lqeqord 11,noL

'slcaqc crpolred IBreAes ra|! 'uel qsert rno'{;oesn IBJeqll e>[eur o] erun Llqeqord s,tr 'peqcnotun ureruer sexoq rnod;1

'uortEcol elqlsserf,B eJoru B oltr aloru Jo sr tr erer{m tr enBel 'or

}l ipepeau en,no.{, Surqraruos purJ olslsrl s(tuetuof, rno,{ ot JeJeJ or PBr{ noz{ ene11 'sexoq peJols rno[ Jo s]ual

-uof, agf q8norqf oB 'ztrerleJ fuotuanur rno[ Suunq 'suorsrf,ep uor]ezr-ue8ro ssesseeJ ot suorsses A\erler Surlnpeqf,s Jo ecueuodur eqt sr iooq

s(uotsur4\ ur eureqt Suurncal V 3,laaraeg d.roluaaul uB elnpeqos

lJus Surureruer eql Sur8eueru tnogBIeaJ ll,noL elqerro;uroJ aJotu aqt 'ranaA\or{ 'lno ree1f, uBf, no,{ s8urqr

aJoru eqI 'suorsrf,ep [ue a{Btu ol a^Bq t(uop e/r\ os Surqrfuane deal orJarsee sluees tl 'tuetJodun Surqleruos pJef,srp II,aA\ qreep ot poJef,s eJB

pue slles leuorleaue8ro Jno Jo serJotuetu Jno lsnJl l(uBJ e/y\ esneJeqsrqt op am sdeqra4 'Surqtfuena dael ol puat 'renamog 'sn;o eruos

ie{Btsrlu Lq paprecsrp,{lyrseq,iaql llaql pun er xBt aqt elef,ol or srrqepaql q8norqr Sur8eruurnJ dn pue pue ssef,xa ot suBJ qseJt Jreql asn

Leu sJeCCV enrslndurr etuos 'esJnoJ;g 'e8euetu ot eAEr{ no'{ gnrs;o,brtuenb or{l saf,npeJ pJef,srp nor{ ruatl qoBA iJeunlo uo JBA\ eqt ur prB

elqesuadslpul uB ag uBf, r{sBrt eqJ :uuC rlsu.ra E Jo asfl leraqn a{BI4l

|/AZVUC uO aldruS'LZYI ION I^{,1 NVEIAI no[

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es7

'ef,Eld eures eqt ur sl,emle sr IJBJ[a>1 aqr ]ng pe^ou aq uBf, sTOBd llaq pue sesrnd iruaqt pessol an,no,i,

eJeq/!\ JeqrueueJ uBf, no.( Sururnsse 'eug sr loed llaq Jo esrnd rno[ur s[e1 rnoL Burddorq ']I esn ot sJegruaru Lprue; stdruord pue alqrssef,-ce Lppeer sr f,rJJBu Jo eurl er{t ur 1f,er [rT V

'roop eqt dq rq8u s{ooq

Pelleqel gtl,n If,Br La1 e SurSueq fur 's,{e1Jo lueluuossE uB eABq no,i;1

,nd nor u*r oroqa\'srue,i::ll il*l'JL;'illi,".; lli'l'#]JaJB stuell) pezlue8ro estluer{to JeqJo tsoru teqt s[es uo]sullN 2sacard

alzznd snoeuellef,snu pue [e1 {]ol aIIq 'sasse18 uns 's[a1 rec rnod g]lrnop noL op teq/r\ ̂\oN 'reunlf, ploqesnoq eqr jo eruos pezrue8ro puesloog dlaq-y1es uoltezlue8ro ot palJeler 'suortsaSSns Jno pBaJ en(no

#nrs snoeuullersrlt

'r1 ldal noL Lqlr Jepuo^r

PUE JOIBI enssl eql ssoJf,B eulof, no,{ ueqm ssecord Surueelc eql teadar

11.nol, 'esr^uraqrg 'rdruord e sB Janof, eqt uo Jequnu a8ed pue elJrtJe

eqt alou 'enssr eruue aqr Surdee1 reJard no[ JI ')tro^\ rq8nu Jeplo]

ell, pelleqel V iure8e rueqt Surpur; Jo ef,uer{f, B eABr{ no[ eraglv\atuosueql rnd puri eABs ol tueA\ no,( sa8ed aql tno JEoI 'JauJof, eqt ut ureql

lf,Bts tsnl 1,usp 'ecuareJeJ eJn]n] JoJ self,rtJB euros dee>1 ot tuBnr no[;1

'pepJef,srp eJe saurze8eurpue sradedsnau 1o sapd aqt ueq^\ smor8 areds elqBIrB^B ̂\or{ Surzerue

s(tl 'tl pEeJ puB trs ot aurt a^Br{ 11,noL /lroul noL ueqm Lluo puetsJeuJoJ eqt tB radedsmeu B '(nq pue uorlducsqns rno,{ Ief,uBf,

'[pe1n-Ber suaddeq srqr JI i^Bp a8eqre8 uo urq a1o[cer rno'( ur senssr peerun

Jo rllJo^\ s({ee/h B tnd l,llecrdrir noL oq 2rededsuneu eqt tnoqe reql6.

'oJotu [ue [nq o] uoltetdrual aqt lsrseJ pue seuo plo aqr tno ^\oJr{l'rueqt peer ot etun aqt e^Bq 11,noL ef,ueqr B Eareqt Tqqt L11ear nol,

JI sanssr Arej B aABS 'seArJJB tr ueq/n esrlou IBA\eueJ eql ur puas l(uop'uouducsqns Jelncrued € Jo sensq {ceq peeJun o/v\t ueqt oJotu pur; noL;1

itr esn puB uBf, r{sBJl rno,{ lno 1a3 os'sleueteur Surpeer eseqt Jo rennlc eqt grlm Burleep;o rred tueuodrur

tsotu aqt sI tuarua8eueru sseur;o rred tno Suueell eql 's1f,eJ eurze8eur

SAOH]EIA CNV S3INVHCAI^I :NOIJVZINVCUO NJ CCV IO SCIAVNAC

Page 271: You Mean I m Not Crazy

bs7,

'paaue8Josrp aruoceq ot ,{sea s,tr 'ue1d B tno-[FI1)N 'PeurJeP

llert\ ssel dlpnsn SI aceds ToA\ rnor{'aruorl te er,noL ueq/a.'uro;-rad nol, ulset eqr rot {Jo/rrauB$ er{t sepl^ord r1 'aceds

ryo^\ $qt }osJalarueJed agr Jo sselpJe8eg 'uosradsales B sB IeABJt no,i,;r rec rnoL;o

reas Tf,Bq aqt Jo etrs uonf,nJlsuoc e 'acrilo uB eq rg8nu t1 'aoeds lJod\ B

e^Bq noL 'qo[ eq] uo ar,no,i, uoq/A. :acedg ryo1\ IeuosJe4 e uftsaq

go,ied leuosrad rno,(ezIIBeJ noL dleg Leru reqt ser8alerts eruos pue sanssr tuarua8eueur eseql

tB {ool B aIBl s(te1 'pulru;o ecead ur soruoc gol,ed eql 1^,i,re1es AueLed t,usaop reqt ryo^, pesBq-auoq sB sllerep asaql,o {qql uBf, no

'uorluellB

Suro8uo 'tuatsrsrad arnbeJ pue ,{lruanbar; a8ueqc Larp asneJeq q8noreJB senssr aceds puB erur I 'slsrl oc oI pue slllg 'stuaruturodde-sllBrap

Jo epntrtlnu B yo Suuots pue Surtros '8ur1pueq l,1tep eqt e^lo^ur aseql'tueura8euBur eceds pue erurt Jo senssr req8not eqt jo eruos lnoqe {u1{tot peeu nor{ '1ortuof, Jepun s8urgl eseqt }o eruos le8 noL JaUV 'e8eueur

ol lsersBe aqr ar,,i.eqt esnBJag senssr,Jnls lereue8 eseql yllrn perJBts alN

'suelqoJd uortezrue8ro Jo of,Jnos Lluo eqt l(usr jJntsploqesnoq tlareunuoJun 'plro^r rnoA ur uortezrue8rosrp eql re^o Iorl-uoo ur aroru IaeJ or ur8eq 11,noL

'uals(5 iuauaBmt l/\i ssay{ Suuolg punmg 3utna13 rno,{ u8rsep d11n;erec ot tro#e pue erurt eqt e{Br noL ;1

luerue8eue;41 erIJJo lereuec.TI UI

sruetr eqr dn 1ctd 11,Leqt ef,uerlf, ralleq B s(ereqt toop eqt tno re8 ol xo9eqt relo dur i{llerglcerd ot e^Bq aldoed jl 'xoq srqt ur paddorp eq uBf,

Ereueelr oqt ot oB ol spoau lBql sserp eqr ro lcedloeq s,pllqf, rno 'uragl

qllrn e{Br ol Peeu sreqluelu L11ue; tBrll sruetl ro} IIe/h Dlro/K oslB xoq v

'esn slr e8ernocue ol ,{em eruosq tl Sutztleuosred ro xoq aqr Surlured jo tno lcelord B e{Btu uBf, no'seceld

1ryrq8u rraqt Surpur; ur ratBl dl".l rnol ro; xoq WoiWDiso'Irer{ ut uaqr dorp uec pl5{r eqJ 's8urqr eseqt roJ ulq uortcellof, B eq

uBf, ruoor,teld ro uoorpeq aqr Jo reurof, aqt ur xoq pelleqBl y 'sacard

snoeuellef,srlu eqr elpueq ot A{oq A\ou{ t(uop lnq Leme rnd sLor 3rqeqr re8 ol e8eueru uBf, uerplrqc eruos;sacard alzznd asoqt lnoqe teql6

IIAZVUC UCrArd[LS ',XZVa ]ON h{.1 NVEy\ nOA

Page 272: You Mean I m Not Crazy

997'euoqdalet e eABr1 t(usaop eceds aqr }l lll Jo elpplru eqt ur rq8u ro &rnrl

-ce L11uey uro$ .(eme raueq Iro^r no[ oq l]rlJert Sunuocul Jo aurl eqlut eceds aqt sl lsJer{ro uerp no[ o] Suruo;urof, eJour sJolof, eruos aJV

2Surtcert$p ool srql sr Jo aopur/r\ B tno Iool ot elqB eq ol paeu noL oq

ilro1v\ ot no,i, roJ erurt lsaq eql sr ueqlN ;eceds lro^\ rnoi{ ur lg3111o l,1d-dns poo8 e Surneq ra;erd noA oq 'Iro/t\ or aceld rseq ar{t SurunurerapuI speeu lenpl^lpul ssesse ol paeu eqt ezrseqdrue suadxe uorlezrue8rg

'uIoOJ B ulqll/t\ef,IIIo rno[ eleaJf, uec no[ 'ueelf,s Surpuels aeg onrsuedxaur uB pu€

AttnueBul etuos tlll/N 'rl sesn ruoplas ,(11ue; eqr l AFelnorrled 'ruoor

3urnr1 rno,(,o pue euo ta8roJ t(uoq ;a8ere8 aql rnoqe teql6 lrutBrno,{ ur Jetllof, pesnun uB eJagt sl 'eJeq^\etuos aceds B pulJ no,( 1eq1

antteredtul s.tl 'saroqc IBuoIlBzIueSro rno[ JoJ ruooJ ateredas B elupotu

-ruof,f,B ot q8noua e8rel asnoq B e^Bq l,uop no,t;l ua^E 'aceds elqBIIB^Buo spuedap srrlt esrnor JO ieere IJod\ rnod dn tas no,i 111m araqa oS

',(ltuetssuof, puB Lpeln8ar tr esn or peurlf,ur eJoru aq

11,noL os e1fis rnor( qotetu or peu8rsap eq ot e^Bq seop rl tng .lnJlrneeq

pue 8rq eq gt e^Bq t(usaop aorrro rno ireCICV elgltoenslp B roJ sselasnAlletol pu€ InJIrnBeq '{lernlosge se^r tl '/\{oleq predunoc eqt pue IIeq

eql ssoJcB sruooJ aql Jo s^rer^ PUB s/r\oPulrn Surlec ol Joolt grlrn stuooJaoueJeJuoc a8rel IBJeAes eJeA\ eJeql 'slle/v\ JorJetur Jo JorJelxe ou d11enr

-JI^ PBr{ rBql ell}Jo sseusnq Palf,nJlsuoc ,{1znau B ur ,{ltuecar eJe^\ 3rN

'elqetrolruof, 1ae; nol, se{Bru reqt aceld B eq ot ser{

rl Puv '((lJo/r\ a3rllo,, rno[ op no,( eceld ,t1uo eql euocaq lsnu slql

'satult uleuef, le srno[ r{larrrsnloxa aq IIIA\ rBqt eceds etuos eplsB les'funxn1 srqt e^Bq t(uop nol,;1 'esle SurqrAue roJ pasnun eg plno/\{ aceds

srqr ,(11eepl 'Iro^\ rnoL ro; aoeld perrucruts B etuoleq III/I\ eceds sF{I

'a11 rnod Jo slretep

Ieuorlezrue8ro eqt elpueq III^{ nol, ereg^r ef,rllo ue dn tes ot peeuno,( 'A8raue pue arult petse^r qqt plole oI iJeDel furnbur rno,i. etrJ/r\ ol

peeu nod 11tQ pue dulets a8etsod 'fueuortets 'uad eqr a^Br{ nod ero;aqsaceld tueraglp lBreles or oB ot aABr{ noL op 'lllQ &rltn rno/, ur rorre uBetou nol, ueq/N itueruoru eqt tB eg ol ueddeg noL renerer{llr tr elpueqnoL op rO llro^\raded elpuer{ noL araqm aceld oyoads B e^Bq nod oq

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9SZ

reprsuof, 'srat1a1 rsnI ueq] arou IIeu ,{puenber; no[ JI :aIBJS aEqso4

'teISBq Llddns rno,{ ot rueqt ppeot lue^t rtlSttu no1'JeISee alll rnod e{Bru ot esn uec no[ s8urqr snorlqo

ssal 'reqro ere ereqt tng 'slllued pue sued 'sreplo; elrJ etuos pue ece3i.rnsSutru,r ro TSep E qrr/lr eceds rnol drnbe 11,no[ dlpelqnopun 'esn uec noLtueudtnba pue sloot aqr jo euros Jeprsuoc (BaJB

IJoA{ rnoz( u8rsep noL sy

luarue8eue;,q ssel^l roJ slool IBrIlrBrcI

'If,rrt eqt op [etu suor]f,esotul papl^lp xoq e ro leurqBl alrJ 3ur11or y 'serlddns rno[ ro; a8erols

alqerrod peeu 11,nod 'acrgo rno[ ro; eceds pereqs Sursn al,no[ JI :atoN

'dor>1sap rnoL ol raldets eqt eloru puB tesoll eqr ur qound aloq er{r erots'qf,Eal Lsea ulqtl^t eJB sruotl pasn,(lruanbag eqr os eceds rno,{ e8ueueeg

ire^rerp rno[ ]o IlBq eqt uI l1 dee>1 no[ op tep ,fuana reldets rnoL esnnoL;1 ireplor{ llouad rnoL ur deal no,{ qcund eloq eqt esn iena no'{ oq'aceds rno'{ PunoJB lool

'asnoq rno[ ur ]Jnts pue eceds eqt perrotuenurno[ [em arues eq] qlntu ur Lrotuanur eor]Jo leuosred B op plnoqs no1

'peeu nol, regunu aqt pur; ot luooJ aqt ssoJf,B >llB^\ ot elqnoJlqf,nru oot tsnf s,rl 'llec eqr 8ur>1eur eJou8r ol ldo,teru no'{, 'urooJ eq]

ssoJJB tasolf, er{t ur sl Lrotcarrp euoqd agl tnq qcBal urqlr/v\ sr euoqd-alal rno[ JI

'uollBaue8ro ur ]ueuodruoc ,{e1 e s(U 'ssef,f,B elqetJo}rrrof,pue Lsea ro; u8rsap e-Surueeur eldrurs E qlr/\,l pJoz!\ Lcue; B sr sf,n[ou

-oBrE :uonezruefug aTIJJO IsreueC Jo srrr,uouofug agl reprsuoC

'speau tsaleer8 rno[ s]rJ ter{t euo pur} ueo noL lnq'spaau rno[ saqc]Bru ,ipce;:ad reqt aceld B qtr^/\ dn auroc rou rg8rur notr'af,ror{c pooS e aq tou,{eru eceds eqt 'ryo,r ol ra;erd no/. srnoq Suru:otuLpea eqt Suunp asn ur s[en1e s(]l JI rng 'aceds

Irolv\ rno[ roy lllQ eqr rULeru elqet ueqrrl{ eql ispeau rnor{ or puodsarrof, esn rreqt;o Surrurt

ar{t seop ̂{oq 'eoeds eqt esn sreqrueu L11ue; reqto }I .qree Jo suor pue

sord eqr arou pue saf,Bds agr tB {ool B alBJ 'pueq ur {ooqetou Suruueldpue Irsued qrrzn rnot esnoq B a{81 noL se suousenb aseqr lnoqB {qqJ,

;serlddns ef,rllo rno[ ro] srel\erp ro teurqef, SulllJ B roJaceld B eraqt s1 ;aceds a8erols tnoqe rBq/N i IIBI euoqd B ppe no,{ uec

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Page 274: You Mean I m Not Crazy

197.

eteldruoc uBc no/, 'reded uoqrec Sursn Jo rrgerl egt ur la8 nod;1 'eceds

rnoA Sutrannlf, {JolrJeded ertXo eqt eABq no[ 're]uec Ldoc egr or re8uec no[ Illun

'etul] Brtxa pue dut lercads e elnber Latll lnq lear8 areseutqceru Surreorldnq 'ellr^\ no[ sra]tel tuetrodun 11e;o sardoc tuBtsurelBru ot pueq uo ,ilddns e Surdea1 reprsuor plnoqs nolt lng .,iep durer

B uo grlm l,e1d or spl>[ aqr enr8 am Burqteuros or pare8eler ueeq seqraded uoqrec 'sretuac ,(doc lcrnb Jo le^rrre ar{t W}/N :.rade4 uoqJeC

'eJuo Lluo ISEI E op ot aneq no[os Papeol relders rno^,t dael sl,eznly 'ece1d redord str ur tr qJEnBeJ pue

e8ed Surssrru eqr purj ot elgnort pue erurt enxe eqt a{Bt or eneq no[ueqJ ipaddllcun Suturoreq Jo Lem snouatslru e seq reqla8or peddrlc

ryo^ureded it(uop-pro,t\ B ul 'peelsur drlc reded B ro; qcear rq8rrunol 'rbdrue sr ralders rno[ uer{^\ req] 'q8noqr 'teq a4t iecueBrlletur

rno[ ]lnsur ol 8urfur rou er(a/X\ 'teISEq [1ddns rnoz( ur seldets aneq no[esrno3,O irsll rno ur srqr Surpnlf,ur reqtoq e^\ plnol\ ,{,{m :sa1de1g

jtrnq t(usaop tI tnq 'repro Jo esues B ot lertues

-se t,usl ssautBeN 'elqBpBerun eq osle rqSru sprocar rno[ ro; peau noLsserPPB rrlnler ro elBP a8elsod aql 'e11d B uI tel' atl t(uop pue ,i.ssaru eJBsedolenue trrol 'ef,IJJo rno,( ur JapJo eqr ot uonnglJtuoc Inlosn B sr ,{11eartl tng 'qot stqr roJ aulj tsnf ryom dlqeqord sra8ug rno1 'loor lue]rodrur

uB se lsrl ot ruetl l,.1ps reqrer e elll tuaes rq8nu slqJ :.rauedg Jeile-I

'sleqBl Jo lno um nor{ ero}eq luro} reproer eql

Ileru ol Suueqrueurer Jo uelqord aqr setBunurla oslB rI 'elpuBq ot peeunol, sleualeru Jo [rlruenb aqr saf,npal rr ,s1age1 Surperu reded ueqt enrs-uedxe erotu sr druets Jeqgnr e g8noqtly 'Llruanbar; grlrn puodseuoc

no,{ aldoad ro; sJeqto IBreAes pue sseJppe urnter rnod gllrn aperu druetsB e^Bq 'sarlddns Surperu eseqt gtlrn Buoly :dululg sseJppv uJnleg

's8uryeur lerceds rnod JoJ pueq uo sdruets jo ,beuen e dae>1

'e8etsod ssef,xe uo ,{euou Surtse,lr prole o1 :sdurqs Jo luewuossv

'a8elsod tuorf,rilnsur JoJ tl suJnteJ eorllo lsod aqt uer{Aretuu puof,es B ISep rno,{ uo dn pua l,eru ryonreded rnoL 'a1ecs B tno

-r{ll45 '{sap rno[ go l,lerelpeurrur ryoznraded er]xa eqr ra8 puB IsBt rnodereldruoc ot nod selqeue osle tl 'err3Jo lsod arlt ot Surnup jo elqnort pue

etult eqt seAES auoq te II€ru rnol 3urq8ral6 'alef,s e8etsod e SurLnq

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Page 275: You Mean I m Not Crazy

897.

spe pelJISS€1f, eqt uo e^e uB dae;tr 'secud elqeuoseer [pre; ]B plos ueuoeJB seuo Jeplo aqt 'pacnpoJtur eJB slaporu A\eu sV 'eJoleq Je^e ueqr

eldoad eJour Jo rlceer IBrf,uBurJ egr utqtrl\ are sratnduroc tlareuntJoC

'srsrl oc oI Pazrl-uoud elldruoc pue qot uuet 3uo1 B,o slletap eqt aaue8ro 'srurele punosuBf, teqt sruerSord Suruueld lcelord pue Jepunuer Inpapuol\ aJB eJeql

's>loog tueruturodde pue sJBpuelBJ ruarualddns osle uBf, Jetnduoc y

'eJB^\Uos Surtunocf,B qtrl\{ peqsrldruof,f,B lpsee eq UBJ {ooq1oeqJrno,( Surpouof,eJ pue slceqr Sunum lo eJor{f, ,(lqfuoru eql :atnduroc

eqt jo sf,ruortrele leor8etu er{t eplsul pBatsur perots eq uBf, teurqef, Bur selrJ ur Perots eq o1 seq ,(11eerd,b req/ll Jo qsnl/{ 'sellt

Pue lro1r\reded;o ,brluenb raaqs er{r Jo uouJnper eqr sr retndruof, B }o a8eruenpe euo

'llel\ se s8urqt reqto i{ueul op uer rl tnq elrrl\ ol &rlrqBrno[ anordun ot ra]nduroc e Sursn ]o enlB^ eqt tnoqe pe{ler Lpearle e16

't1 tar8ar JaAOU 11,noL 'ralndruoc e dnq ol ,{auoru dn seer; ree[ euo ]l

Suro8ro; JI lnq dur r1s IEnuuB rnol, ernseert [eru no1 iperedrur [11euorr-ezrue?to eqr roJ plB elqenlB^ur uB sr slr{J sJelrr.ud pue .ralnduroC V

'a1/.rs a;y1 rnol q]ld\

IIer!\ {ro/K tq31u tBqt serntBeJ Surnes alull l,ueru e^eq [.,{I '[uedruoo

auogdelet rno,{ Lq pere;;o seJrlJes Suuemsue eteBltsalur ot tuBl!\ oslBrq8rru no1 'sauo tuetrodrur eqt ssrur t(uop no[ os Lllecrpoued s11eo rno[

{ceqc ot elnJ B e1eru lsnf'sranes-arun IBaJ eq uBf, seurqf,Br.u Suue,lsuy

llr arou8r uBf, no[ 'sq1nq rqBII noA 11esot ur seruoc IIel E JI

'rl tdacralur uBf, noL 'ur saruof, IIBf, tuetrodrur uejI 'slllq rno,t Led;o pBatsur tBqf, ot no,{ tdrual lBr{t suortdnuetur /,ueuplone uec noL 'ryom ol u/lrop lrs no[ se eulqf,eru rnori, uo run] ,tlaurtnor

no,i;1 '{Jo^\ no,i allr{^\ sller Suruaans Jo} osle tnq tno aJ(noL elyqzlrsllef, Sururetureu JoJ Lluo tou InJesn er,Laql 'ur seuloc IIBo B ueq^\

1y\ouI 11,no[ os sllBf, Surruocur durets-eul] rBqt slepoul ,{ueru eJB aJar{I

'eABq t(uop no,i, /,releJf,es eqt aruof,eq uBf, tl 'auo Anq or noA a8ernof,ueazn 'eurqJeru Suualrsue uB ud\o l(uop noL;1 :eurqre4 Eu.ue/rlsuv

'ISap rno/{ Jo puB pulu rno,t Jo lno rl re8 pue qot eqr

iIAZVUC UO Ardnrs 'XZVI rON r,^'r,l NVEy\ nOI

Page 276: You Mean I m Not Crazy

697

'slea; tr ̂\oq s(teql tsBOI tB '.lle4\;3ur1oo1

lou eJ(eA\ ueq^\ Surrildulnu Jo ,{rrpqedec ,i.uuecun eqt seq lreur teql^louT ezn l,uplcl islnu ad\ eJelx\ 'oP e/)4, ill uo eurBu rno'{ gtlm raDel

E re^rlep ot rerrref, IIBIU eqt roJ Sur8uol requeruar nod op '{pllql e sV

luarue8eue;4 eIId reded

iurnq pue qsero B tsure8e pa-tcatord ar,noA os sf,slp eteredas eeJqt ol uo selrj tuelrodrur rno/. Ldoc rouetsAs adet dnlceq E esn 1VJVCI U3OI dn )CVg :ereq^\tuane sresn

ratnduof,Jo uoltseSSns eqt /nollo; nod eJns a{BIAI 'lr anerJteJ ot ee} uee{e se8reqc tradxe fuanocor ErBp B lltun tseel tB Jo JeAeJoJ BtBp rnod asol

11,no,{ 'surnq pue seqseJc enrJp preq rno,{ y1 icr8eur relndruoc Jo suorl

-Blnurl aql lnoqe nor( uounBf, ol luB/r\ e/r\ sJesn ratndruof, pauosBes sv

'proJJ€ uec nod ter{t ecud B te tuetudrnba retndruoo pulJ l,eru noL pue

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092

ot s8urql rno^ sr tnoqe pauref,uof, eq ot peeu noL fuo8etef, Aluo eql

'sr uorlezrue8rotBr{1K s(ler{t pue ueld € rltrl\{ 8ur>pom oJ(notr 'JapJosrp >potuaded;o

tno JePJo oleeJc or un8eq lsnI an,nor{ '11 azrleeJ no/, 10u Jo Jaqleql6

's,aq{,nyryroJ elld prlqr B trets ot tuBA\ rq8nu no,{ 'Surdea1 's^ Surgserlreno eauoBe noL;1 'elld redord eqt ul Surqrfuana tnd Llleorsdqd pue xoq

rnoA tno drunp ot relerd rq8rru no1 'serJo8etec esaqt Jo euo ur tsrl rel-sBur rno[ luou Surgrfuena ]nd puB JIBq ur raded Jo teeqs puof,as e aplnlcl

'*aay ot s?uryTpue qsp,l1 :setro8etef, esn ot [see [lanrreler 'e8re1 o/!\l qtrl!\ ]no uets oltued\ tq8tru nol 'mou JoC 'sued algee8eueru eJotu '11erus o]ur tsrl IBJa

-ua8 rnoL epl^lp ot sr qof rxau rno :dnap4.rade4 rno azuo8ele3

'fuotuenu1 >[romraded rno/,;o eapl elqBuoseeJ B eABq plnoqs no,i, ,ssecord

srqt jo pua eqt tV 'tsrl rno[ o] uretr qrea ppe pue a1ld rnoL q8norqr oB'1aem erlt Jo pue eqt tV 'xoq e ur raded;o secard pue stdrecar petelnru-nf,f,e 11e lnd 'os Jo {aal\ B JoC 'enreceJ no,{ s8urqr eqr u/t\op tol'senure

Ileru eqr uaqnl Lep Lrang :uge8y {ooqelo51 Euruueld rnotr asfl

'ue1d B peau nolv' juaua&uunylalld ra4Dd qtlr!\ IBep oJ 'rerunoc rno[ uo u^\or8 aneg or sreded Jo ure]

-unotu e JoJ ot\t Jo Lep e B uBql eJolu aIBl t(useop 1l JIesJno,( ro; ueltrJl\en.noL tBqt sJepuIUeJ snoeuellaf,snu etelnrunf,Je osle notr'sldreoeJ pJBf,tlperf, puB seJrolur aJots 'sdr1s

{uBq;o e11d e3.re1 B qtln\ euoq elrrrB ,{eruno[ 'spuBJJe

Jo ̂(ep e JoUV 'ryomraded;o ef,rnos Lluo er{] t(usr IIBy\

'Lep fuene esnoq rnol ot de,r rroq] pug teqt sSoleleo e^rJ ro rno;eqr rnd ol ereld e Surpur; sr a8etue^pesrp eqJ Jerler e eq ueo Suoue

esooqf, ot suetr Jo sn\or pue sraddoqs rer{to Jo suortf,Brtslp aqr 8ur-lEuItuIIE 'doqs ot reCCV uB ro;,{em leer8 B eq uec rapro IIBIAT

'sserppe

PUB 3lueu rnor{ Pasel{3rnd aneq or{r!\ saruedruof, reqto ruog sSolelec grlrnpa8nlap Lllcrnb el,no,i, 'Sopteo repJo lleru euo ruog repro nor{ se uoos sV

isexoqlleul rno ur Sutntue sdeal >pomaded eqr tng-sJededszneupue seutze8eur laf,uef, pue s8ur8uolaq Jno uos uBJ el6 .uorsnjuoJ pueuoueABJSSe;o ef,Jnos B sr TJod\reded eqr qtr^\ op ot tBr{A\ lno Suun8rg

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Page 278: You Mean I m Not Crazy

I9Z

ruets^_s eqt Jo ssalpre8er 'tsrlC 'seullepln8 omt ra#o uBf, e/v\ tng .tl op oldem BuoJA\ ro tg8u B t,usl eJeqt esnBf,eq rueqt e8ueue or zrroq noL ller

t(uef, am 'ure8y;edLl Lq ro l,llecrraqeqdle sap; rno[ dn tas nol, plnoqg

ApuelsrsuoC pue Al.rep8eg tuelsl(S EqUf rnol esfl:I# eFU IuuIPreC

'PreA\ropq8rerrs Lple; eq III/\{ seuo8etef, eseqt or Surprorce Surtros'depeno eruos eq III^\ arer{l q8noqlly 'peorq pue eldurs sdnor8 rno,{

dael ot sI l,a1 aq1 'sallg asnod5 pue salC lvrrosrad'lnnuvmgpuD asnoHyo sauo8etef, lereue8 Sursn fur rg8nu no/. rng 'elpueq no,{ ryomreded;o

Pull eql uo puedep IIIA\ rl esnBcaq asarlt ezrue8ro ot /v\oq A11ecr;nadsnol' 11ar t(uef, e41 'sdnor8-qns otur algd eltC o1 rnoA ur sreded aqt trospue sreplol el$ etuos lno la8 ,og .azrs ur u/v\op pared an,no[ ]uarua8e

-uBI^{ a114 raded eqr tnoqe snorxue ssel lee} plnoqs nof ,]urod syqr ly

_ 'lJo/t\raded Llyep rno[ uer{] pa8eueur r{1ysea eJotu s(tr esnef,aq ruetsLs

Sutl_U -rno,{;o rred sn{t qtr^\ trets II,a/)A. .ssef,r€ ot peeu uroplas no,{ ryom -reded eqr-elld ellC o1rno,( uo l,1uo snro; plnoqs nod 'mou ro{ 'sreploJ

,,Jog,,tuetrodrur eseqt SurSeueru tnoqe JatBI IIBr II,a/N .ssef,JB f,rteur

-olne 'Lsea JoJ. ruetsds e u8tsep ot peeu 11,noL 'sruetr Surpuad pue tuerrnf,

oseqt Jo lf,ert daal oT '^\ou rqSu roJ ellJ oQ oI errlue rnod eplsB les

'>pomraded;o ,bltuenb eqt ecnper ,(ltuecglu8ys uec no[ ,s8ulql eser{t Joeluos Precslp ot suoISIOep e{Bru no[ sy;ryomreded er]xa eqt r{tr/r\ IBepPUB seutlPeaP aqt lo If,BJt deel or perederd noL eJB 'suortf,elas Surpuasdllecrreurorne;o ruets,{s B sesn qnp {ooq eql }l irepro rq8nu noi( s>1ooq

aqr jo ,{ue pear ot eturt e^Bq 11,noz( ,{e/1. due eJaqt sl .tseuoq eq 1nq ,no[lsaratur Aeur 8ul|eru qnls Iooq aql 's,,t11rue; rno,{ }o esoqt pue e1l,rs

elll PUB sPeau rnoL pultu ur deel 'ssacord Surtros srqt enunuof, nol, sy

'fuo8alec allC eqr w esla Surqrfuane rncl 'fuo8alec oC oI aqt ur 'slllqsB qf,ns 'uo tce o1 peeu no,{ reqr Surqilue lnd alll o1s3ury1 puB oc oJs8urql :rool' aqt uo sa1ld od\t e1Bur ro sdnor8 Jelletus o^rt ur ls1 rnol tJoS

'uoos III^,\ rl 'ta[ rua]sLs SurI; e e{ll qf,nru 1ool rou,{eru e1rd

rno[ q8noqlly '8urun]-aulJ ]o dets txau aql Buunp tl esn t(uop pue A\ou

Jo, aprsB Tomraded regr rnd 'sagLBw Jo Lro8eleo prlqr rno[ ]noqtr/r\ op

t(uef, nol,;1 'uec aSeqreS rno,( q eq Lpearle plnoqs qsert or s8urq1 .daa;

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Page 279: You Mean I m Not Crazy

797,'ure8B

IoJtuoJ Jo tno

Iae' or ur8eq II,no 'euroq re8 noL ueq/v\ elld,tssaur e Lq pareer8 eq IIIIr

nof 'roop aqr lno ,(em rnor{ uo sef,erd lerenes uado Jo seArJJB lr uoq/\l,

IIeu rno,{ q8norqf drg noL }I 'iJo^/\ ot uesoqc an,no,i, eceld eql ot {ro/n-raded snoeuellef,srur pue lreur Sunuocul e{Bt s,{e,n1y 'unr" arry uo ro IIBqtuory eqt ur 'retunoo ueqctrl eqt uo lleul rno,( uedo JeAaNl 'aceds aJr#o

rno,i, ur ryol\raded rnor{ Surlpueq sl,eznle }o rrqer{ B a>lBru plnoqs no1'eurtnor B pue Suruueld 1n;rq8noqt uo spuedep uorlezrue8ro Inlssef,f,ns

areld etuBs eqr uI {ro^rrade4 rno^ eIPueH saenly:?# elnu leulprec

isrlnser snonsesrp pue peads Surqsruotsegtl,n serldrrlntu pue speerds rr-r1rcrn.taQn4 to an?v14 eqt Jo uoueruou

.aqd 8urxe1fuad aqr ecuauedxa 11,noL 'slqr op ot ueld cgyceds B o{Eru

t,uop no[ y1 'srseq Suro8uo uB uo 4t"ornt"aQn{ tnoK \i!n nauu o] lueru-rurodde u€ ur lycued pu€ elnpeqcs rno,i. IleqC

'ryoznreded pue lleruSururocur rno,{ ellJ III^,\ no,{ uaqa tnoqe uorsroep B e{Btu Aleterpaurrurtaded;o ecard fuana SulltJ puB sreplo; 3ur1aqe1 'Surrros qsrurJ noL rer;y

saurll PeFPeqts le {ro/$rade4 rnol qrlrh leel l:g# elnu IBUIPTBC

'reploJ euo ur rarlreSorsprof,er pereleJ-aruor{ rarpo deal rng 'eleredas esoql deel ot lue/r\ rq8tur

no,i, 'asnoq rnol, 11es nol, ueqA\ sesofund xel JoJ stueuranordrur euoq

Jo sprooer deal ot Bepl poo8 B s(tl ef,urs 'sreplo, ot\t Jo euo ur suallpetelar eseql dnor8 ot relleg aq Llqeqord plnot\ rI 'petecrldruof, ool

euosaq III/r\ uets^s rno,i, 'gSnogr 'qcnru oot suorsl^lP rno,{ auu-eur}no,(;1 'cla 'scruoJtf,ele 'tuerudrnba arec uaBI 'secuerldde 'Suuadre:

-ruell qree ro, sreplo; eleredes dael plnol no 'ellj lerf,ueurg/auog

rnor{ ur sruetr petEIeJ puB stueuenordtul euoq }o spJof,ar deal ot tuBd\Llqeqord 11,noL

'eldruexa roC 'pezrue8ro oot oq ot pardurar eq l(uoq

alduqs l! daay27# el]l-u FuIPreJ

'Suueeder stuBrrel!\ tl rnq 'sn1t ples [pearleaA(oA\ A\Ou)I e1tr ',tlluetsrsuof, pue l,Fe1n8ar tl esn lsnru no,{ 'uSrsep nor{

il,rzvuc uo ardrus'LZvaroN h{.I NVat\ nol

Page 280: You Mean I m Not Crazy

€.92

-JetlB etuos gtlrn dn eruoc ot peeu Aeru no[ '1r op 01 n aas 01 paeu noL;1

'lr e^elJteJ t,uec nod pue tl uo uortf,e elBr t(uBf, no^ .putrujo tno s,tr '1q3rs

Jo tno s(tl ef,uo iulp Jo teeJ rqSre repun preL aqt urtr 8ur/;ng ot urTB ag uBO ellJ B ur ,(eme Surqrauos SurDnd 'reCIeV uB

ro; eepl learS B sr srqt eJns os tou oJ(e/x\ 'teurqBJ elrJ eql ur JeploJ ,,tog,,B uI tl rnd plnotls nol, terlt des suedxa uouezrue8ro Aue14 .tr ssef,f,B

dllcrnb uec noA os {Jot\reded lueuodrul slqr lnd ol ereq^\ tno ern8got aABr{ nod zno51 :sseJrv pue e8uJo1s lnoqv uorsl'ao e e{eI^I

isreq uo puB lsrl rnoL JJo qol eqr ra8 ueo no[ os nol, ro; Surpaenaqr op or pllql pooqroqg8reu E arrH 'l,q o3 sdep eqt sB rstrorls l,ue la8

l(uo^\ spee/K er{r tnq 'op plnoqs ,t11eer no.( Surqtotuos eq Leru uepreSra^\ol' rno,{ 3urpea41 'llB tB rsrl rnol, uo eq plnoqs qot egr reqtar{^\ uorl-senb ol arun s,lr eql,eyrl 'e11d oCI oJ rnoA Jo tno puB paqslulJ qot aqr re8ot etun lerceds B elnpeqf,s ot elun s,l1 eqLe61 iselull fueru ool palpuBq

uaeq s,lt 'sdtuels elBP ur perededllern seuof,eq reded yo eoerd rno,(;1

'suorsrceP eruose{Bru or nod rdruord III^\ }l 'puoceg 'raded eqt }o tdrecar Jo erep ar{rlueurnrop IIIA\ t1 'lsJlg 'sasofund o^\t se^res sn{I 'tl alpuBg noL elull,i,rene reded;o ecard qf,Be druets etep plnoc no[ 'eldurBxe roC .raded

;o acard eurBs aql Surpgnqs ueaq en,no,i, salult [ueu A\oq pue Buol,!\oq >lJBJl ot ruals,{s 8ur>Feru Jo pul{ euros esn ,Suruos srgl op noL sy

'r;a1 reded;o sacerdtuetrodrurun ,{ueru el€q t,uplnoqs nor{ 'uBJ qseJt rnod Jo asn snorf,

-lpnI eperu Lpeerle an,nor( ]l 'ruetJodrurun lluetrodul eq [eru lasuodser

e Surpuad-tueuodul luoos eruu etuos uo lf,B Jsnru-lueuodrur lllouuo tcB tsntu- tueuodul :allJ oCI oI rno[ ur 1ro^\Jaded aql eleJedas ol

l,cue8rn;o ear8ap eqt asn 'raded yo ecard fuane ot JotJBJ acueuodurrue u8rsse ot peau nol 'ryomreded srq] Jo uorsnjuoo eqt grlm leep oJ

'tuerue8euetlq sseln{ Jo esoqt gtl,nePIIIo? ueuo puB tf,asrstur lueuaSeuBtu eurD Jo suelgord araq^r sr $qI

'e11d oC oI lnsd-uorleaue8rosrp Jo ecrnos fueuud aql qtrll\ IEep olelult s,Jr 'tueJsLs Surp; lueuetuJed rnor{ Jo aJBJ ua1Bt en,noA teqt A{oN

luerue8eueurstw elld redsd puB s(oo oI

SAOHIEI{ CNV SCINVHCAhI :NOIIVZINVCUO NI CCV IO SCIhIVN^CI

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'rer{lre teurqer Sutlt} rno,{ ur perots eq t,uplnoqs Llqeqord l1 'ryorvueded

oc oI rno,{ gll,n eq t,uplnoqs uortBruro}ur Jo pql snlr qSnoqlH 'erntn}

eqt ut erun eruos peeu 11,nod salots Jo sef,rnJes Jo sreLg Jo spJBJ sseursnqroj salrJ tueuer.ured rnoA Sursn aq lq8rur notr :sa8ed /rlolle Fuosred

ielqnort qf,nrx oot eq Leru taurqBf, Sury; e orruooJ eqt ssoJce {lBA4, ot SurneH 'setelnluncf,B tl eJoJeq /,e'le >pomreded

rno,( 1nd ol peurlf,ur eJoru eq 11,noL 'sdrtraBurl rnoL tB eJB sep; rnoL;1

'reA\Brp e;o dor eqt relo s8ueq tBqlauo ,i,nq '*oq ellJ B ro; dorlsap rno,{ uo ruoor e^Bq t(uop noL;1 'eceds

iro/r\ BJtxe eplnord ot ISOP rno,t jJo ll e^oru uer no,{ os elqBtJod Suraq

;o e8elue^pe pappB eqr sBr{ rI 'Iro/Kraded Surpued pue tuetrodurr rno[

,o >lf,Brl Jeueq dael no,i dlaq uer tl 'teeu {ool rou rq8nu lnern ureld

ur salrj Surdee>1 q8noqlly 'a1g dotlsep B sr Surgr tsaq txeu eqt 'tuero-r;;a Lpelncrued t(uere sa11d ecurs 'rre eqt q8norql Surreog rueqr spues

pulrn;o rsn8 B lltun tsBOI le-Iro^\ rq8rur selyd ur petros sreded Surdaa;tr

'alqBIrB^E eruof,eq Ja^e Leqt JI ruer{t ur Suusenur Jeprsuof,rg8nu pue steulQec elrJ petuor;-sse18 e;o sa8etue^pe eql ees Llerru

-lJeP uBf, 3/N\ i3u[pfua ̂e 4pl\ r,uplp rr ,{1uo }l urersl,s ]ear8 E eq plno^\U

'runrululru e ot reunp ecrlJo sdael pue lrol!\reded Jo rol B sarots,{lruercr3ga rl 'lryesn sr teurqec ellJ € 'uorlsanb tnoqtrlN :elld dol4saq

'ro; sl re{seq oqt teq^{ noL purruar ot qr€a uo IeqBI e tnd 'IroA\-raded asuodsag ro; 3urrre16/euoq [peerly rno,{ ro} sl 'n4sngBuryua4

rno,{ 'qrrno; eqJ '>poznreded luetrodurl aqdeyrl pue 'uoog/ruerrodrul'nrop,/tuerrodrul rnoL roJ sta1sag uI sE eerqt esn 'stelseq rnoJ Sursn,i.rr 'dorlsep rno,( uo eceds tuerf,rJJns eABr{ nod;1 3qe{seg fno/ul

'lduord IBnsIA

B se tf,B ot le^el eLa te preoq urtellnq rno,{ 3uep1 'pesserf,B pueuees dllpeer aq UBJ sa8esseur pue setou Surpuad rnoL 'dorlsap rno,{

;o esuedxe eqt JeAo aJueprser dn 8ur>1et ro teurqeJ ey; rnol;o sqtdapeqt tn Surprser Jo pBetsul 'sauo8etel nualrc4w! rnol qf,]Bru ot suortf,asrnoJ ul rl epl^lc 'prBoq uuellng e SurSueq reprsuoc 3Preog upellng

'no[ ro;

Irol!\ IIIIK suollsaSSns esaqr Jo euo sdeqra4 'teurqef, alrj eqt ot selueu

IIIZVUC UO Ordnrs ',LZV-I rON h{(l NVEI^I nOA

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992

rno^ tnd ot tue/v\ ngd^uaql6, irl parrdua nod eunt ts€l aqt derr eqr IIIJaT ot peJegtuetueJ no,t SununssB-euo ta8 puB Jezeeu aqt ot o3 nol, ,eqncef,r ue tuB/v\ nor{ uaqzn 'uortezrueSrosrp rnod;o aarSap eqr Jo sselpJeSeg

'luauaSvuntu Ktoruau Jo senssr Jeqto 1B {ool II,ea ,ratdeqc

3u1aao11o; eqt uI 'uoltezlue8rosrp uo JB^\ Jno ur ierlre8or {ro^ uec }ueru-e8eueyrl a1l4 rade4/sseyrl pue fuorualnJ ^\oq reprsuof, s(tal .d;oruaru

JeDeq B paeu e^\-tuelsr{s rettaq E poau [11ear ](uop ey]\ irualsds mauJaqloue lal, u8tsop ot uauo sr Btuurellp eqt or esuodser rng .ure3e pueetult Jlesrl Surreedar orrBuers Surxeldred srqr tBrlt pulj sreccv Lue14

' ' 'ur8eg ot /!\oq enlf, B e^Eq t(uop nol, leqr azrlear no[teruslp rnoA o^t qrnl4J .Iee^\ rsel pau8rsep noL siacord rrr".rrrlr[s aqrerntdecer ot 8urfut selrJ rno,{ uef,s no,{ ,Ltarxue BursBeJour qrlrN lell,

Surpuad ro alr; oCI oI aqt ur oB rl pKI i&nbur reqr;o ddoc rnoi j"A "o,i PIp eraqn lsnl PUV llee^\ ]sBI etor,r. no[ dlnbur eqt o] asuodsar srql

grl/K op no[ plnoqs rBqrN ',{seeun lee} o] urSeq puB reDal tsrrJ aqr uedo

no1 'urB8e 1:om lll/r\ tuets[s lear8 rnod ]eqt a8palnoul eqr ur arnf,

-as '8urp; pue Surrros jo seroqf, palnpeqcs rno[ uiaeq llruapr;uoo no1

t"al\4aam auo 'afrF autDs a\t oi aWC

'ace1d redordstl ur Surqrdra"" p?ltJ ,{puarcrge e^Bq nol, esnecag JlasrnoLio pnordernb IeeJ pye eceds rnod punore Iool no1 .Ironreded;o sjpd',ierne

SqltJ pue dn Suruarq8rBrts 'go Buuealc uoourauB errtue uB puads notr

irerlrureJ {ool sauecs 8ur-^{ollo} eqt oc 'sllBtap eqt qtr^r op o1 teq^\ UESIAIEI/{11U ol aneq nod

tanoerol4 'IsBr aqrjo sllerep ar{r or puaue puB urers,{s rno,{ rB lro^\ ol e^Bq no[ 'peaue8ro Ja]teq eq oI 'fuouraur puB uortuane Jo stuau-odruoc eql uo ruapuedap Lla8rel sr rueue8eueyq a1l4 radecl pue ssel\

lueura8euel\I eIId .rade.lrssenl pue z{..roura;,q ,srduroi.l ,san3

'sratuafuBJ JoJ ,,3),,repun rulg pulj or JersBe lol B s(tl .auBu sly Jeqr.uau-eJ ol elqB eq lou deru nol 'sdels qcrod rnod pexlJ or{rv\ retuedrec eql 'uoterJsre^lv uqo[_1pc o] paeu nod uaq/N .eueu l,q uegl reqter ef,rl-res Lq [llecrraqeqdle serr]ue rnof rsrl ot eepl poo8 B ag t8f"i t1 ,{n1-Ja.L!e ;a8n4 malla1luuosLad e dn les ot ag lq8nu ruarsds-lryasn erou V

SCIOHIAI^{ ONV SCINVH3AI { :NOIIVZINVOUC} NI CCV cO SsIy\VNAo

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992

'selu ̂\olle^ ur-uortBtueurncop esuedxouoneloueJ pue seuueJJezn 'sraded a8e8uoru-sruetl pateleJ esnoq IIBlnd ot luBA\ rg8rur noL 'mo11a/. sr asnoq rno[ JI

'sue]r [auoru ro; uaer8-uorteruroJur IBIruBurJ puB Sutqueq ro; sreploj uear8 ro sleqel uaar8 asn

rq8nu no1 'alpueq nol, ryozmaded;o sauo8atef, aqt ot Surprocce fuenuBf, ruetsLs pepoc-Jolof, Jno 'Surpoc-Jolof, sr Alluercrga eJour ryom no,{

dl".{ rq8ru teqt rdruord reqtouv :Eu1po3,roloC Jo r,ualsds * esfl

'rr Surop eJe^\ noL moq pue qsrldluof,f,B ol8ur/.rt eJeA\ no/. leqzn Suncnrlsuof,eJ erurt etsenr osle ,(eur no1 'paqslulj

J(use1r\ qo[ aql ]Bqt ueuo8ro; e^Br{,{eru nol 'aul] txeu ryo^\ or lceq ra8nol, uaqm 'osrunJaqlo 'A\oJJoruor qof eqt tJEtsaJ ot ,v\oq;o uorrdrJf,sep

tror{s B etrr^\ 'prl* rnoL ur JBelf, lllrs sl qol relnclrred eq] Jo ssecordaql ellqlN 'Peqsrurj eq ol sPaeu IIIIS rBr{1\,\ PUB uo 8ur>Fom al,nozi. tBq^\

tnoqe setou eruos u^\op lol ol ]l esn 'ISBI B Jo elppru aqt ur 3urryomdots ol e^Bq no[ ueq.,r '{pueq ur seluof, osle 1ooqelou Suruueld Jno

'erurt rnoL gflrlr op ot s8urqf Surssard eJolue^Bq dlqeqord nol, 1un1t e^\ 'znoqeuros

i{ro/\r plno^\ tBr{t esoddns em'reded frane ]o uoueool aqt ozrJoruoru puB trs ot arurt aqt eIBt JeqteJp,noL yl '^\arl ureld ur no,( punoJe peards AllecrsLqd salg rnoA Surnerl

or Surgr tsaq txeu eqt eq III^{ rql rnor{ 'rl op or tl ees ot peeu noL;1'sJeploj rno,t ot sa8uer{f, oleru no^ auIlt Lue fsrl rno/. afepdn ot aJns eg

'replo; lrane ro s]uetuor er{t u^\op Surllol (sellJ rno,( Jo eurltno pe]BpB o{BIAI 'sellJ lueuerurad pue tuerrnc rno[ q]oq ]o stuetuor aqr Jo

lsrl SuruunJ B daal ot peeu deur noz( 'stno{lelq ruels,{s Sutlg;o cruedeqt tualard o1 :ure8y lro t ol {ooqeloN Euluuuld rnol lnd

iuoos tl peeu plnon\ nol, nau>1no,( asnetag elr, log rnol, q tl a1g noL plc iellc auoH eql ur ro ellc

esnodS 'a1lc lBuosrsd rno,{ repun ll allJ no,i pKI :eluBu ,(q Llleoueqeqdle

1l alu noL ptc 'elqBraunuur erB sef,Bld a8erots alqrssod eql asnBf,eq ral-tetu tuaJalJlp Llallua uB sr altn JBr eqJ 'ece1d e8erots erues aqt ruo{tueqt ssef,f,e Llpaleader no[ esneceq eJB seqnf, eor eql aJeq/!\ /v\ou>[ no1

lsaceld raqto '{ueur ur {ool rq8ru no,{ '11

roj razseu 3qt ur Iool J(uo^\ ,(lqeqord nort qSnoqrlv 'petnlo^uor erorullqereplsuoJ eq Leru qoJeas rno,{ 'reneznoq'elll] rec rno,t uo spueq

IiAZVUC UO qrdnrs ',LZVaroN h{,1 NVEIAI nOA

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L9Z

aqt ro; ueld pue s>lse] petaldruor uo Jlesrno^ etelnter8uof, (^Bp drene lsrlrno[ A\erAeJ o] Bapl poo8 B s(tl .atep-ol-dn rualsLs rno[ dae>1 ]snur no

'f,te 'alnpayrs oLsiuaruiuro4IV 'a4.t6 oI sr"anal 'a\DW oI iIIDC auo\d;o sauo8etef, urepua8e rno[ e]eredas ot ra;erd fq8rru no .Jte ,>leazn txeu [q ,zvrouour

-ol ',{epot oP ot s8urqr-sruetl eurleurt su s8urql dnor8 ro tsrl Suruumeuo dea>1 uBf, no1 'epua8e rnoz( ezrue8ro ot s[em Jo [rapel B oJB eJeql

'elllrnPord pue Posnf,oj noi{ sdaa{ feqr epua8e leuosred rnoL sr tsrl oCoI rno 'ue1d B Jo af,uBtrodul aqt A\ou>1 noL 'epua8e ue tnoqtrm Sur

-teoru B ur peledrcrued JaAe an,nod JI 'ruar{r aes uBf, no[ araqa sJopunuoJ

rno[ daa>1 pue uorqsBJ atuos ur ut\op s8ulqr e]rJ1y\ tsnur notr .[rorueur

rnod uo l,1er l(uop noL reqr lertuassa s,lr ,esn noL poqteur eqt Jo ssal-pre8ag 'e;y1 rnol, ul ,,s,oq o1,, Suypued aqt Jo Irert dae>1 or palsa88ns

an(e^\ seapl oqt Jo IBraAes osn uBf, no^ :lsrl o(I oI Sulo8ug ue daay

'tJEts ot eraq^\ 1Kou{ ot rarsBe eq III^! tl 'ISB] oqt ot IlBq atuof,noL uaqlX '8er ro1of, B r{trl\ lods rno^( IJBru

,petdnuatur eJe pue Burqr-ouros uo 8urryo./y\ eJ(no,(;1 'uees ,(11sea sr pue uo tl l:rts nod ranetBq \ #os8ueq pue perolor eqJ 'rdruord

Inlesn reqtouB are s8el rolof, elqe^orueg

'raded.(ue uo sIJo^\ teqt {Jrts a^rser{pe lercads e ,(nq uec noL'setou l1-rsod un\o rnol e]Bur ot tued\ nol^;1 .trolleL uo sluaurrutoQQerno[ pue ueer8 uo sr"apurunt" {n4 oi sl1lq rno,( 'sa]ou peJ uo eq plnoJ

sJ"apurura.L \\DJ auo\4 Jno 'setou pepof,-Jolof, esn ueo nod ,anrteall

[11eer eg o] rue^, nod;1 'sISBl oC oI tuetrodurl ]o srapunuar se teer8ar,l,eql tnq ruets,{s Surp; e eceldar t(uer ["qI 's8urqr

Inlepuo^\ asoq] JolBArrrB eqt eroJag plp aldoed tBq/v\ erns tou ar(a1x\ :saloN ll,lso4 asfl

'raqueueJ ot nol, ldruord Laqa 'uortezrue8ro;o rred fuouraru eql rroddnsdagr teqt sI t{tl/\{ dn auroc noL seapr Jellruls Jo sJolof, Sursn JoJ eleuorl-BJ eqJ 'sruatsLs Surpor-roloJ Jar{to,tueur dn tuearp Llqeqord uec no1

'sraplo; asuodsar rol Surlre^\ pueeuop,(peerle/dots rno[ ero]s uer seuo par ar{t puv 'sellJ Surop tnoqe

Iqqr plnotls/uA\op /!\ols rnoz( erots ue3 srrploj ^Aolle[ ".{J

'sallJ d\ou optsnu-r/8uro8 re8 rno[ ero]s uef, sreplo; uaar8 eqJ. 'dollsep rno[ uo deelno[ sap; ]oq eqt roJ IIa^\ $lro1\r rr{3ll f,rllert e;o srduord roloc eqr Bursn

saoHl-ll{ aNV sllNvHtal/{ :NortvzrNvcuo \l ccv lo scrh{vN^C

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892

itsll .LnoK to uaxln,q aW ot pE raftau IIm no'elqea8eueu eJIl rno,( e1eru ot q8noua tsnl tsrl rno[ g]lrn dn Surdee>1

gtlrn tueruoc aq or ureel PUB tuorxB sn{r raquerueu 'rsrl aql J}o Surqr-fuena Surssorc;o leo8 alqyssodrul aqr ensrnd no/. se eurlt ernsral pue

deels 8urso1 'tsr1 rnol o] aABIS B eruoJeQ t,uoq 'uratsds leuortBzrue8ro

eruua rno[ uopueqe rg8rur pue ]srl 3uo1 l,lqtssodull uB l,q pa8ernoc-srp pue petertsng eq IIIA\ no1 'aruu uanr8 B ur qsrldruocce uec no,i,

sISBtJo requnu eqt eterunserelo Llqeqord noA'reqCIV uB sV itsll oeo1 L11ep rnoL gtlrtt [eme pelrref, la8 l,uoq 'areq rapro ul sl e]ou leulJ V

'lsr1 rno[ o] sruetl ̂\eu ppe nol, se Sutpre/v\eJJlas st parald-luof, Lpeerle an,no[ $lse] lJo pessorc eqt Sureag 'sLep;o e1dnof, B roJ

rsrl oC oI arues eqt esn ot sr eleroru eqt roJ lear8 s(teqt 1f,rrt eprll euo

'ryomreded peuos rnoA gtlrn prp noLsB tsII rno,t druels eleP nod;l 1n;d1eq eq oslB /.1qeqord PIno^\ l1 Lep txeu

-\\_____

-\__

--

l_\l-l

ffii IIAZVUS uO AIdnrS '.LZVa ION I^{,1 NVEI\ nOA

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692

,blxaldruof, eqt 8url,;rldurls jo senssr areA\ af,ueleq Jo uorssnf,srp eqt joueotl eqr tV 'sruelqord tueueBeueyrl erulJ uo 8urryol\ petrers r(peerlean,nol ']noqe

PaIIBT eA(eA\ selJotuelur snorJBA eqt pellduroc en,no.t;1

'a{Bl lllzn euo

qJee 3uo1 ,!\oq;o eapl f,rlsrlBeJ € a^Bq no[ se 3uo1 sB eurJ sr Lep euo urserr^rtf,e IBreAas Surlnpaqts 'll ro; l,peer la8 ot op ot peeu 11,no[ ]Brl^r

ueld noL dleq t(useop tl tnq tuele uB raqrueruer no,i dleq l,eru repuelef,eqt uo tuaruturodde ue SuuoN 'esues atun ,b1ne; e ro Buruueld rood

Jo rrralqord e s,t1 'es red 'repuelec aqt qlr^{ t(usr rualqord eqt esrnot Jo'ssog rno,t gtlrn tueutuodde egt u^{op rof ol re8ro;,i1ele1druof, puB

ruooJ_,splI eqt ur srsrJf, B Jo Ileqroop eql Lq petf,BJtsrp er,nol, ,uaqclrleqt ot dul rnoL Buunq 'tuooJ

nI eqr ur a8esseru B eIBt noL ueqd\ IlnlJo tno eq 11,nod ueqt lnq plp reqtou rnor{ sB leurqBr usqf,trT eqr uo ro

IIB^',\ eqt uo rr Sueq plnot no irEpuelB3 rno,{ purJ uBf, noL reqt sasod-dnserd slql 'repuelBc rno[ o] sruetr ppe o] JaquerueJ ot e^Bq no[ ,]slg

'pareorldtuof, erotu tlq B s,]l 'reqqv uB roj '{llelN;lg8u 'repualec rnor{uo tl etou tsnf nod ']uaruturodde uB JequetueJ ot paeu nod;1 .alduns

os stuaes tl i{ro^{ leql ](uop [.{^ 'slazrue8ro ]eer8 qf,ns eJB sJBpuel€J JI

lsraaue8ro tueruturodde pue sJepuolef, pesn l,11erued Jo pesnunsnoretunu e^Bq osle $looq dleqJlas uortezrueSro jo se^leqs qtr/v\ sllnpeACV lueur lBg] teq aA\ 'ruaqt tnoqlr^r 3uo1e ra8 ol alqlssodrur /.llenurn

s(tl 'sJno jo plJo/r\ Lsnq srql ur tuaruaSeueur erult JoJ Ioot euo Jegunu'crseq eqt are ["r{J 'u]eqt sasn l,poqLrenE .eteq ot selol reqev uB

s8urqr ere 'slezrue8ro tueuturodde 'uortelar esolf, Jreqt pue sJepueleC

'sqtuotu a^le^\t txau er{t Jo} 1ual,il-aSounyl auL rler{t ro; parederd er,Leql 'sued Jrer{t pue seseqund Jrer{l

_ gtlm paurrv :ead Sururor aql roj srBpuelec Lnq puB erots lelol rreql oldul e e{Br.u Laql leeA drena raquef,a6l }o elpplru aqt punore erurteruos'se^rl rler{t Jo slrBrep aruu eqr SurlpuBr{ rxelgord OIDII e^Bq eldoed /.uey1

'eurrt jo tueluele eqlurqtr.r per.uBg sr tr 'op o] tno tas nol, tBrl^\ Jo sselpJe8ag l,em srqt {Jo/r\t(u_seop tr 'esrnoc

Jo '{plJon\

IEaJ er{t ul .tuerua8eueru #nrs pue aceds qtld\

ue8aq LprerrlqJe eA\ 'uorlezrue8ro Jo uorssnf,srp Jno JoJ IJoA\euBU B sV

luerue8eue;41 aulll

SCOHIEIAI ANV SCINVHCAIAI :NOTTVZTNVCUCT Nl CAV tO Ssrr^{VN O

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eq uBf, rieqr 'puoceg 'speeu pezIIBnPI^lPul roJ Peaulolsnc eq l(uef, Leql'peneuro;ard er,l,aql ocurs 'lsrrg 's{req/!\eJp Jelnf,Ilred ulro Jleql eAEr{

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of the year is a great idea but it doesn't solve the whole problem. With.out an advance reminder, I would regularly read the current day's entriesand discover that TODAY is the big day. Unfortunately, it's too late tosend a card or gift!

A portable planner works best for me. I'm always on the go and needsomething I can take along on my travels. When I'm out shopping, Ican remember to buy the cookies for the classroom party tomorrow."

Teacher Plan Books Are Useful Time Management Tools: Thebest are large, 8 ll} xl1-inch spiral bound books that open to displaypages segmenred by subject and days of the week. There is often a smallsection next to each row of boxes to jot down notes for the coming week.You can add your own dates and use the subject column for divisionsof time.

Since they aren't formatted, you can design time frames that matchyour needs. Th"y also have with sufficient space to write miscellaneousnores. There are often extra pages in the back for recording studentattendance. You can use these pages for frequently called phone num-bers, birthday reminders or anything else you want to keep with yourweekly organizer.

Strrcttrre Your Planning with Daily Time Sheets: Time sheets arehighly srructured daily calendars that manage time by the hour ratherthan by the day and date. Many computer software programs offer pre.formatted daily calendars and time sheets. If you don't have access tothese, you can make your own.

Although we suggest that you start with half-hour time segments, you'llneed to decide how much structure you need. Your time sheet can helpyou compensate for a faulty internal timeclock.

'lflhenever you schedule something that involves preparation, get out

your planning notebook and make a list of everything you'll need. Don'tleave out anything! \Uill you need to wear a particular outfit? Add itro your list. Will you need to make provisions for the family while you'regone? What about calling a baby-sitter? And how about the emergencynumbers the baby-sitter will need? If you frequently hop in your car only

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to discover that the gas tank is empty, add a note ro your list to ger gas.

Put your reminder list in a logical order, estimare how long each itemwill take and double your estimate. If you tend to grossly ,r.td"r.srimarepreparation times, triple your estimate! \Urite the time of the evenr onyour time sheet and work backwards, entering each item on your listin an esrimared block of time. \fhen you've finished rhis process,you'll know precisely when you need to begin gerring ready for yourappointment.

An interesting experiment to evaluate your time sense is to jot downyour "starting time" guess before you go through this process. Afteryou make your list and complete your backward time entries, see howclose you were to your guess. Our bet is that you'll discover you werepretty far off!

Compile Master Lists of Reminders: Consider making a master listfor recurring appointments. Put the baby-sitter's emergency phone listin the kitchen cabinet so it will be there every time you need it. Keepa vacation checklist in your file, so you don't have ro srart fromscratch each time.

A lack of planning usually causes overwhelming feelings of disorga-nization. Although this preplanning may initially take extra rime, irwill ultimately save you time, aggravation and the wrath of a boss whoimpatiently sits in the conference room waiting for your late arrival.\Uhen you think things through and make detailed lists, the readinesssteps become more automatic. Over time, you'll probably discover thatyou can accomplish the planning steps more quickly as they becomehabits.

Compile "Everyday, Get out the Door" Master Lists: How manytimes do you spend your car trip across town trying to remember whetheryou turned off the iron and turned on the porch lightl Rather thanrelying on your memory, make a list and post it at your door. Includethe things you need to do whenever you go our: put the dog in thebasement, tum on the answering machine, turn off the compurer, rumon the porch light, leave a note for your son, etc.

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Taking the time to think through your routine and write it down willsave much time and aggravation in the long run. You won't have toremember these details every time you get ready to leave. You won'thave to waste time racing back home to save your computer fromgetting zapped by the thunder storm and lightning that hits. A quicklook at your list as you head out the door will shave precious minutesoff your preparation time.

Prepare Duplicated "School" Master Lists: If you have school-agechildren, you undoubtedly write many notes for field trip permissions,absences, special after school bus changes, etc. Make some master formsfor as many of these activities as you can. A generic "please excuseZachary's absence" can be made with spaces for names, dates and rea-son. A quick fill-in-the-blank later, your note is finished more quicklythan if you had to compose a new note for every occasion. Your formsmay not be personal, but they will save you time.

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Buy a (waterproof) Watch with an Alarm: Alarm warches arewonderful. Depending on the style, you can set alarms to ring everyhour or at the same time every day. You can use an alarm waich as areminder for appointments or ro keep yourself on track.

Set it to ring in a reasonable amount of time and then make a decisionto work at least until the alarm rings. Plan a break at that point andreset the alarm. You can accomplish the same thing with an alarmclock but your watch is portable.

If your watch is waterproof, you won't have to take it off. It's one lessthing you have to keep track of and it can prevenr cold showers. Youknow what happens-you hop in for a quiCk five minute shower andemerge shivering thirry minutes later when your hot water tank is empty!

I.Jse stenographer Pads and Large Index cards: Aren't index cardsthe awful things we were instructed to use when we had to write aresearch paper? They were supposed to help us organize our ideas butoften ended up being_used as paper airplanes! In rpit" of any negativeexperiences you _may have had using them, index cards can helf withorganization of thoughts and daily details.

Even the best system in the world is put to the test by distractibility.M,ulV of us get side-tracked because ideas keep popping inro our brains.\7i!h_t some ingenuity, one ADDer we know r.r*r tt".to pads, index cardsand his distractibility ro accomplish wonderful things.

He keeps a supply_of steno pads at his work site and also by every tele-phgne and chair where he may sit. He uses one exclusively for the'phonecalls he receives. \Thenever he makes or takes a call, he jots down thename an_d nhone number, rhe time and date of the call and any noresthat apply. He checks off each call after he returns it. He starts a newdated list every day. This sreno book is a permanenr record he canrefer to whenever ite needs to remember th" d.t"ils of a particularcall. More than once, he has been able to access a phone number hewould otherwise have lost.

He also uses steno pads for jotting down ideas. His work is only brieflyinterrupted as he captures the essence of his ideas on paper. Ai the

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end of a work session, he transfers his random thoughts to index cards,categorizing them as he goes. He files his index cards alphabeticallyuntil his next work session when he adds new ideas to existing cardsor creates new ones.

Our photographer friend's system may be helpful for you. The stenotelephone record can act as a backup to your phone number directoryand To Do list. And the index card system can enable you to use dis-tracting thoughts to your advantage without interfering with the taskat hand.

The key in using steno pads, a planning notebook or post-it notes is touse them to keep yourself on track and to regulate your impulsivity. Inthe middle of writing checks, don't stop to make the hair appointmentyou just remembered. Instead, jot yourself a note as a reminder andimmediately get back to work.

Schedule Telephone Callback Times: Schedule specific times tomake or return phone calls. Since you don't have a secretary to screenyour calls, you will have to come up with your own screening script.Tell the caller that you're in a meeting and will call him back. Don'tworry about lying. You are in a meeting-a meeting with yourself!

Discover ttFound" Time: Take another look at your time diary. Arethere periods of lost time? \7hat about the waiting room in the doctor'soffice? How about the commercials during the TV program you werewatching? See how much time you can find.

'!7e aren't suggesting that you schedule your life to excess. That could

be quite depressing. You don't want to carry your pending file aroundwith you to work on while you wait for the red light to tum green!

But what about the time you spend in the waiting room? You've beenwanting to write a letter to your friend who moved out of town. It'sbeen on your To Do list for weeks. Rather than reading outdated mag-azines, why don't you write your letter while you wait? It's somethingyou've been unable to find the time to do.

Stnrcture Procrastination to Your Advantage: Procrastination isthe number one enemy of Time Management. Although ADDers tend

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to procrastinate more than our non-ADD counterparts, no one is im-mune from the Peril of ProcrastinationJ What if we make this enemyour friend? What if we make it an advantage rather than a disadvantage?

\7e really do need to preface this suggesrion with a warning ro use irat your own risk! It's possible to capitalize on procrastination but it in-volves VERY careful planning.

The unfortunate reality is that many people work best when deadlinesloom. As the deadline gets closer, the adrenaline starts flowing, energygoes into overdrive and tasks are cranked out at astonishing speed. Ifyou know your limits and are fairly good ar estimating time, you canstructure your task by purposely waiting until the last minute.

This is contrary to conventional wisdom. k's usually better to planextra time rather than less time ro ger things done. So you probablyought to try using structured procrastination for a job that won't yielddisastrous resuks if it doesn'r ger finishedl

This is how it works. Figure out the absolute shortest time you canreasonably expect to be able to accomplish a parricular job. Get outwhatever time organizer you're using and write down the deadline foryour job. Then add a second deadline-the absolute latest time youcan possibly start working on your task. You absolutely musr haveeverything else cleared off your daily time sheet for the starting dead-line you've established. Then be prepared to do nothing else but useyour pumped up energy to finish the job.'We've

used many "absolutes" in this discussion of structured procrasti-nation because this is a risky sffaregy. We would suggest that you rrythis as a last ditch effort. The safer strategies should be your first lineof attack. But StructuredProcrastination might be worth a shot.

\7e've considered time and space as distinct organizational processes.If you recall from the diagram at the beginning of the chapter, youknow that organization is dependent on memory and attention. They'reall interrelated-organization strategies depend on your remembering.And to remember, you must be able to attend in the first place. In thenext chapter, we'll continue our discussion by examining the other twoparts of this interrelationship.

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'tq8tl peeqre^o eqt roJ euo agl dtgLlpug noL aro;aq uo parunt tq8ll IIBr{ puB qcrod aqr re8 detu no,( ',i1yep

seqrtr^rs aql asn nol q8noqr ua^E ituB^\ no[ euo eq] sl elcetdacer eql urser{3]rA\s alqBIrB^B aeJqt eqr }o qllqrK ^{oDI Je^eu tqSnu no[ 'lened\oq'sn a>[ll are no,t jl 'q]rr^{s rq8rl eqt uo uJnt ot Jequeurer ̂4.11ef,rtetuotnenoL 'urooJ peuelJep B ot ur {lB^{ nol, ueqlfi 'uo;;o snorf,suof, ]noqlr^\

tueqt ruroyed ueo no[ ter{r qJnu os urer{] peJrtJeJd aneg noL '8ur[t-eoqs or rBIIrulS 'ssausnorf,suof,

Jo le^al eqt ̂\oleq perots are slll{s ̂4.ueyr1

'ra8uol ,{ue senc uo ,{1er ol o^Bq t,uplp no[ os fuouraruuual-Buo1 rnod ur peqcte sBA\ III{s aqt 'eruu Ja^O 'eoe1d ur eJe^\ urerlf,

fuoruaru aqt jo s1ull eql IIV 'ure8e pue ure8e III{s eqt peteader noL

IIAZVUS UO ArdnJS 'LZVI rON I^{,1 NVay\ nOA

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r87

grpr dn-sserp 8ur[e1d;o Arouraur e sraSSul erunyad;o llerus eqJ 'selro-rueru peJots eqt Jo IIBler gdulord L11ecld,b uondaored fuosues Jo poolu

y 'fuoruau fuelunlolur q8norqr pellmer ere sef,en fuoueru etoruag

'seouerJedxe crlerunBr] Jo saf,BJ] fuoruaru eseql ot Sutue;ars,aq 'seuolueur pessardeJ tnoqB sllet euoeruos ueq/6,'eJeq peJols osle eJBBrunBJt leuonorue Jo serJourell{ :a.4,e1 qql q peJots eJB pepeeu ra8uol ou

serror.uelnl 'lleoer JoJ elqBIrBAB saf,Brt fuouaur Jo suollltur Lllerarll ereereql 'passecce ruoples ere serroruaru oseqr q8noqlly 'euoz perolof, der8'a8re1 B ur ureJq er{l ur deep peJots are o8e 3uo1 ruog selJouleul elorueg

'sarJor.uetu PeJols eql Jo ,{rrlunb

enrssed pue urol!\ (plo egt tuasardar ot peJolor tsnr sr re,{e1 aql 'llef,eJ

tdruord teqt senf, q8norgr eseqt Jequeuer no1 'aAeIneJ ot rlnclglp arouere ter{t serroureur pesn rrroples tlsm eqt suletuoc rertel elpplul eql

'pallBf,or ,{lsseproge PUB l,11crnb eJB selJolueruesaql 'cte 'sluarulurodde Suurncer 'sraqurnu auoqdalar puB sarueupesn ,{lruanber; :L11ep pesn uoBBurJoJul Jo serJouleul aql sulBluos

re,i,e1 slr{I'rolor enlq rq8uq tealc e ut relel slqt sezIIBnsIA ddel lsseu-snorf,suof, ot esolf, radel lsnq 'ennf,B eqt sl auo raddn eqJ 'ueqo fuoruetu

eqt ur papnlour e8erols;o sre,i.e1 eqr sB ulerq eqr Jo uolletuasardar

IBnsrA B sJalJo egs 'ssef,f,B pue a8erols Jo lepoul Jetpoue sesn ',i,pap1a

eqr jo sruelqord fuoruaru eqt qtlll\ ,i,lentsuetxe palro^t setl oq^'\ 'dde1

,unof, eI,.^*,'Ji,15ii*;,'1;:lJ;,1:'#,TJH'1,ilil'ffi ffif"il ru{ar 3uo1 ur peJols sr eruu 3uo1 B Jo} peJaquauleJ sI ter{r uollBtuJoJul

'fuouraur uJel-lJor{s $r{lot acuaraJer B ,{lruanbag sr fuouelu alqlrJel PellBf,-os Jno 'sPuoJas

oAIJ pu€ sruall uenes Jo ArlcedeJ tunullxetu B seq fuoruaru ruJet rrotlg.e8e.ro1s rrrJel Uoqs Sursn ar,no,{,'uonels se8 aqr lB eseqJJnd prec rlpeJf,

rno,( ro; q8noua 3uo1 Jequnu afeld esuef,rl rnort Jeqrueruer nor{ uatlt\

'Surqteruos uo {JoA\ nori, se ,{,lsnoeuutlnurs erep }o suolteulg.ruof, ro sdats tuere#lp IBreAes fuorueu ul plotl ol ,btcedec a8erots $ql

esn no .A.rodrarrr Eulx.rorn Jo elelpelulur sr a8erols IIBJaJ luBtsulot PatEIar ,(1aso13 'iletal luelsq ro lBqr sI uollBrnP lselroqs aql

scoHIEI/{ ONV SSINVHCEI{ :IUOI^{EhI

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Z8Z

IBnsIn '[routa1A1 fuorrpny rnol, o] tng serJorueru tuesealdun Jo tue

-see1d ol Suura;ar tou ar(e/N 'sauouaryrnod;o ,irrlenb eqr tnoqe 1ulr{lor Inlesn eJotu Llqeqord s,tr ',i;otuaru jo ,brlenb eqt tnoqB pe{let el(e^t

q8noply 'la,( pauoltuau t.ualeq ozn fuourou Jo tcadse uB sr eJaql1ndu1 uouurrrroJul

iuouBJtsr8ar fuoueru,o ecueuodrur eqlpuetsrapun nol 'lec rnod, ro; a8ere8 8urryed a8nq B Jo roog l;ena uo

par{oJeas JeAa el,noA;1 ',(uedwof, ef,ueJnsur rno[ o] urEIf, B truqns elqBeq l(uo/n no['uraql pall] en,no.{, JeuB sldrecar lBf,rpstu eqt purJ l(uBf,

no,{;1 'lnoqe pe{let e^t stuets/.s uortezrue8ro aqt ot Jellurls uortetuJo}urSutzuo8atBJ ptre Surpoc sellonur ssacord sF{J 'e8erots;o uels'{s tuerorlta

uB sI Lrouraru rnor{ uI BleP aqr Jo aruoq rnoi{ ur srualr aqt Surssef,ce pueSutrols or ,(eI aqJ 'JequeureJ ol uorsrJep snorf,suoc e alnbar [ueru

'lro3ga elull grlrn a8erots otur Aeun leqr pug serroruelu eruos q8noqrly

'Lq sn passed sBq tueruruof, s(ssoq eqt Jo uorlsenb EJeqf,Bet eqt 'tno trarn8r; [pug eA\ atur] aqr Lg iesn e/r\ plnoqs Le>1 qorqnr puB xoq qlryrN

'spuBq Jno ur sLe>1Jo spuesnoql grlrn sexoq rrsodap-ales rno ot peeqalt jl sB s,fl 'lBAeIJleJ alqelf,Ipardun PUB /t\ols ur $lnser a8erots JrtBrJE

iareq^\ lng'araqnstuos aJeqt ur punoJe Suneou s,]l'fuorueru ur 1nq fuo-ruetu utott BtBp ar{r rsol l(ueleq am 'sprom rar{lo ul iJequeureJ o^\ tBr{A\lnd am aJaq^t purJ t(uBf, eA\ rBqt tnq BtBp aqt requotueJ t(uBc 3A\ tBql

t(usr sn Jo ,{ueul Jo} uelqord eq1 'BtBp eqt Surssef,ce sr dets puof,eseql 'lrouraru Jo uol]Baue8ro Jeqtre;o dars tsJr] eqr tsnl sr e8erotg

ssemv dloura;4 o1 Aay etII :uone.r1sr8aA pue uoqezruefuO

,,'sJBei( tq8la-fuue^u JoJ tnoqB Tulqf olpesn;eJ peq I reqr leraun; s.raqtorg .{,ur;o serroruotu passerder ,lnyaznod

pareSSur lue3s eqJ 'sra^\og eqr IIB jo llerus oqt ot uortreer fuetunlonuruB sB^r ll 'PBalsul 'urlq letu ue^e re^eu pBq I 'pelp pBrl 0rl^\ uosred aqttnoqB sSullee; du ,iq pasnef, J(use/r\ uortf,Ber asuetur L14 'dn uareaq 1,11e-uortorue rle; pue 8urfuc dors t(uplnof, I 'q palleA\ I sB uoos se rrede 11e;

,ilareldtuor I 'puep; Lpurey B Jo lBreunj eqt ot puBqsnq Lu parueduof,f,e1

'o8e srea,{ IBJe^eS 'ualto8ro; o8e 3uo1 peq Leqr Surqraruos Suueq

-ureuraJ,{lueppnsJo ecuelJadxe aqr pBq e^Bq sJapBeJ tBqt aJns u,1,, sucl

'srea,{ Aryg u1;o lq8noqt t(ueneq noL pualg pooqplq3 B

IiIZ\rUC UO Ardnts 'XZvl rON r^{(l NVEhI nol

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€82

uef, no^ tnq sruelqoJd leuortueuB Jno^ a8ueqc t(uef, nod 'aouetsur JoC')1uII

IBe^{ eqt uo TJoA\ ueo noL 's>perq urer{f, l:oureru rno,( eJer{/r\ eurur-Jetep uec no,{ y1 llo8ro; noL Lgrrr tno ern8l} of paeu noL 'raqruaural oI

'sn Jo dueur ro; tlnf,rlllp ere s{sBt eseql

'sar3etens Suruueld pue 3ur1u1qr paaue8ro (lletap ot uonuelle 'uo3$e pel-BJtuecuoc selnbar SuuaqruerueJ f,rteuretsl,g'srrcr;ap pelerf,osse aql,iq papunodruoc ere tn9 sJaCeV ot anbrun t,uare suralqord Lroruel4

'elgord fuoruaru u/t\o rno,t puetsJepun Jeueqno,( dlaq tq8rru rsll sn{J iSuuaqruaruar grlm srualqord a^Bq aldoed

dueur 'ernseeru B sB $looq Sururen drouaur elqBIIB^B Jo Jaqunu eqlesn e^\ JI

'saf,uararJlp Lrorueru anbrun gtlrn uroq are s8ureq ueunq IIV

(Iooq s,dde1 ur tsrl B ruo$ pardepy)d.roura;41 IIBre^O

s8ur8uolaq rnd nol, araqm-acedssllBleP eulll

seceld snorJEA ot le8 ot Aroqsef,uarJadxa leuosred-crposrda

:oq no s8ultll-rpeqtsaqllpeer no,i, s8urqt Jo sllelep-spro/r\

leeru no.( eldoed;o sare, eqluoudnuetul uB JaUB pelJets ra8 ot eJerlt\ pue /!\oq

suortonJlsu dets-lllnur ueDrJA\suorlf,nJlsur dals-euo uallrJn\

3aes norT. sEqqI-IBnsrAsuorlenlrs dnor8 ur ,tes ot tue/r\ noL leqm-spJo/v\

suouBnlrs euo-ol-auo ur i(es ol luB/r\ noA reqm-spJo^\]aaru nol, eldoed;o ,5*".,

".p suorlcnJlsul dals-euo IBJosuorlf,nJlsur dals-qlnru IBJo

uuaHno s8ulq;-Lroflpnv

W:(alqtuer) 9 ol (ruallecxa) 1 ruor; oIBOS Surprls B uo jles

-rno[ a]Br puB i\toleg pelsrl uoueluJo;ur fuosues ]o spql perrel er{t roJ,troureru rnod;o ,trrlenb agr tnoge {ulqJ iperset ro peqf,not 'pe11arus'preeg 'uoas an,nol{, s8urqr Jequaurar nor{ op IIoA\ A\oH 'ore 'fuoueyn1

SOOHISI/\i CINV SCINVHJaI/\I :Iuol^{EIl{

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b87.

ierrnbf,e Lysee noL op uorletuJo;ur pue sllHs tBrll6,2el&s BurureelJBInf,rUBd rnod sr lBrL/K 'Surureel

Jo aporrr lenpl^lpul rnol, az,{1euenoL dlaq ol selr{ts Surureal Jo uorssnosrp JarlJBe Jno puedxe ot tuBA\ e/X\

sal&S Eugu.real

'el,{rs Surureal IBnPI^lPur eql 0lSutureal Jo epotu aqt Surqf,teru [qurnat Sulunal eql Jo sseuenr]f,eJJe3ql e^oJdrur ot sr Le1 eqI '8urop ro Suraas ,{q tseq urBal oq^\ esoql

roJ e^rtf,a#aul s(tr lng 'apolu srqt uI lsaq urBel puB reqrueurer aldoedetuos 'elltf,aJ$aut [11ero] sI Sutualsrl dq Surureel teqt tou s(tl 'srrorJep

rSlcads lnoqllA{ asoqr Surpnlcut 'sleureal l,ueur JoJ enrloage,{pelncrtredJ(usI Surqoeal dem.euo ',tlateunuoJun 'Suruetsrl Lq e8pal^{ou>l alnbce

ol Petcedxa erarn aA\ PuB Pe{lel sJolcnJlsur Jno-Surqceat ,{ezn-auotlSnorql ((peureel,, sn Jo ,iueyrl 'Suruatstl qtlr\,\ perenba ueryo sr Burureel

'q8noua ,{ltuatsrsuof, ruJoJJed ro g8noue 3uo1 snf,o} Jno ureturetu'q8noua rse; a8pel^rouT Jno ssef,oJd l,uec eA\ 'af,ueruroyedJo JeqtBJ tnq

'as rad 'Surureal Jo seuo tou ueuo eJB sulalqord JnO '/r\ou>I a/r\ req/t\

ateJtsuoruep ot alqe sLemle t(uale ed\ lBqt $ sn;o [ueru ro; l,rlncl]Jlp aqa

'Lt11tqe Jo {lBI rno[ o] etull uorrf,BeJ A\ols pue ef,uBruroyad

luelslsuocut rno,{ afnglulB ̂(eur sJa{Jo/r\of, puB asnods rno,{ 'l1npe uesy 'Surureel

Jo IoBI B sB seper8 rsat 3uy11e; rnod pararfuetursrur ueuosrsqrBet rnoz{ 'plF{l B are^\ nod uet141 'op l(uop ro 'op noA teq/|-drralr

-cnpord rnol, l,q lnq 'urerq rnor{ aplsq ,furec nod e8pel/lrou1 Jo esnor{-erots etll dq lou pessesse ^{,11ucld& erB slenel Surureal pue e8pal,roql

'peq e^Brl Leu noL srualqordSurureal eqr puersJepun or a8pal,r.ou{ ̂\eu rnol Sursn ar,noi( edoq a16

i,,8ulureal,, pJo/r\ eqr Jo uorluetu eJatu aqr rB pueJp;o 8ur1ea; B a^Bq[eru nod 'ranelq]erepun

Jo IaqBI eqr grl,n eurlreJll e tueds en,no[ JI .aJII

L11ep rno[ uI ]no deld suorloeuuof,retur eqt /troq puetsrepun rellaq uerno,{ 'Sutuleel

leraue8 Jo auo ol fuoruaur Jo ldacuoc arlt e8relue elr\ JIraqlo aqf fnorDIA\ euo e eH l,uu3 noa-Equree.I pue d.roure;,q

'slr{t Surop ro;seepl etuos tB Iool ll,err\

'retdeqc eqt uI JelB-l '$lf,rJt,{roruaru dolarrepo1 ll esn uBf, nor{ 'lseSuoJts er{t $ sauouawrnol, Jo qcrqA{ /t\ou>I no,t;ltagrrng 'snf,oJ gtlrtt ore3iratur leql suortcertsrp eqt earululru ol sdats e{Bl

ii^Z\^Ic uo ardrus 'LZv'l roN hr,l Nvahlno^

Page 302: You Mean I m Not Crazy

s8zIr Surees Lq Surqteuros s^\ouI

'cte'sqder8'surer8etp 'serntctd :suouelueserdal lensrl grlm selou se{Bl

s8utqr JequeueJ ot uonBzrlensrn sesn

punor8>1tBq eqrur 3ur>11er aldoad ro esrou [q pareeusrp lpulncrrred sr

a8en8uel [poqpuB uorssardxa IBIoBJ s,raleads eqr qttetr dlesolc ot speeu

sernlctd olur lndur IBqJaA ((selEISuBJJ,,f,1^o1, tndur,i;otrpne sassecord

serntf,el 3urrro110; ^r1ncrilrp seq

IIer!\ SUOIIf, eJIP UellIJ/!\ S/\{OIIOJ

::Y1'"ffil;,ffi'iil,pe'a;ard rnoA eurrurarep or esn uec noz( sanrc eruos dl"tHfft$TJ

stuarselope pelqesrp SururBal roJ {ooq rreqt ruoU paldepe ueqc 8ur-/v\olloJ aql 'se1,{,rs Surureel Jo stusruBr{f,eur aqr aroldxa ursradlel euuea[

pue reQleqls BrBqrBg '1nnuarc48ur4copn 'looq rraqt u1 '[ezn srqrtseq ureel sJeCCV ̂ueuJ-sleuueqf, eerql IIB sesn oq/t\ Jer.rreel fuosuas-lllnu B eq ,{eru nol, rg 'sleuuBqf, oA\t Jo uortBulQruoc e Jo leuuBqf, euog8norqr tseq ureel leut no1 'anrsnlf,xe [11enrnru ](uare se1fis Surureal

'dem atuos urperredurr erB sleuueqc reqto eqt ssalun-fiurssecord pue Surlulqr .Laprotay87y uI tueuodrur ssal eJ€ tnq uorteruJolur tuetrodrur eplnord op etsel

pue Ilorus,o esuas er{J 'sleuueqf, f,rteqtseul)t ro/pue fuolrpne 'lensrn

q8norqr eceld selel Surureal rsory '8ur11arus pue Surrsel '(lauueqc rrteql-saut1/altrcer) Surqonol'(lauueqc fuolypne) Suueeq'(leuueqc lensr)Suraas i(q :sesuas e^rj rno q8norql ureel IIB erA.;nol, JoJ rseq IJo^r teql

(s)euo eqt tno arn8r; nod op ̂,\oH 'are sa1'{ts Surureal req/vr /KerAeJ s(ta'I

'a1l,rs Surureel paue;erd rno,{ ol tueqt r{f,teur nori;l LluoeAItf,eJJe eq III/I\ sJetsuoru aoeds pue eurl rnol, aruet ot esn nor{ s>1culpue sdrr eqJ 'uortezrue8ro pue fuotueu qtr^{ peutd\uetur sr Surureal'aJII q rnq loorlf,s ur Lluo lou tuetrodun sr Surureel Jo eporu perrej

-ard rno/. Surpuetsrapufl;Surltes ter{^\ ur pue lseq ureel noL op /v\oH

SCOHIEIA CNV S3INVHJAI{ :AUO}^IET{

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982

fuorueru pal;lruepr ,ilqeqord no/, teureal IBnsrA e Lpreruud er,no,(;1

'uolletualJo IBnSIA B eJlnbar regr ,{neuroag elill sBOJB rcelqns ur pue

Surpear ur surelqord peg e^Bq,(eru nor{ 'looqts ul 's1sul lensr^ Hrlrn

sualqord ,trourau pellruepr dlqeqord nol, 'fuorrpne sr eldrs Sururealpeue;ard rno,{;1 'rndur

Jo eporrr aqt or pereler ,(lrcarrp sr drorueur rno,t;o Artlenb egr rBqt Sursufuns t(usr ll 'petf,euuoc ,{ller8arur eJB Surureal

pue Lroruatu ef,urs 'seporu ,trosuas olur papl^lp Llq8nor se/r\ rlf,rq^\slllls fuouraru,o teqr pue rsII srgt ueaA\leq seurrBllrrls ef,rtou [lq"q

-ord nol 'rsrl srqr Jo sued ureuef, grl,n Igluapt l,lparqnopun III^I no

r1 Surop ,{q Sulglaruos s/noul

tuarlle^oru Jo lol B sPeeu

f,rlnlrce 1ecrs,(qd q8norqr lseq sureel

3u1op pue Surqf,led\ l,q lsaq suonf,erlp s/r\olloJ

sPuBq srq qtr/t\ ,,SIIBI,, :spJo/h asrcerdrul sesn

luerua^olu olul spJo/r\ pue seJnlcrd,,salEISuBJl,,

tndur fuorrpne pue lensr^ qtoq Sulssarord drlncrillp seq

AJOUTOIU Ur UOTIBIUJOIUI

Jot{cuB ot eoueuuoyed ((uo-spueg,, pue esues dpoq srq sasn

senr^rtsB lecrs,iqd puB slrods ur petBurproof,.lled\ sr

uorlsalrP,o ssues tuellaf,xa uB sBq' rerrree-I rlreqlseulx/elllrB'L eql

l1 Suueeq ̂q Surgreruos s^rou1

spJon\ ua>1ods eql uo snf,oJ ot a8en8uel Lpoq s,re>1eads eqt serou8r

Ilnurls lBnsr^ [q perrer]srp sr

spJon ue4ods olur sernlcrd ((selBlsueJl,,fuouraru ul tl Jorloue ol uortetuJoJul ueltrJ/$ ezrleool ol serl

[1no1s lndur IBnsrA sessecord

lBluJoJ eJnlf,el B uI lsag sulBel

IIaA\ suortcerrP lBqre^ s^\ollo}

lndul punos pue proit\ eldrrlnru tno suos l,lanrroega' ' ' Jerr.ree.1 d..roltpnv eql

IiAZVUC UO ArdnJS'LZV-IrON ht.l NV3y\ no^

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L8Z

no^ sB 'og 'srapulueJ pepJocal adet grlrn JaDeq r{f,nr.u op deu notr .nod ro;

ryo^r tou li,eut tI JauJBal lBnsr^ B l.ueJB no,{;l tng 'sJeCIqy dueul ro;pydleq sI u/t\op s8utqr Sutlrm ,{ltuatsrsuoC 'sauo Suorts aqt ezlrurxetu

pue sBaJB {eeA{ ssedLq ot asn no,{ olout pue sdrr eqr eznuotsnc no,{dl..{ uBf, tl tng 'seporu fuotueul/8uru-ree1 rno,t aaro8atef, ot esn uec no,(

sexoq Lpll pue suortrurlep tnf,-rBelf, apr^ord l,useop >lro/nerueg slqJ

senbruqrel L.rourayl dn Euluna

'Jorunq pue ,{seluBJ se^ol PuB suonsBJrsqe qSnoJql surEsl 'elnlcrd

8tq egr grlrn sur8aq oqt\ Jeureal elrtrntur 'enndaored B eq l,eru noL rg'8ururea1 uo-spueq sra;erd oq^\ Jeureel eteJf,uof, 'lecrtcerd 'crlsrlear B eq/.eur no1 'SurIulqr pernlcrurs '1ecr3o1 'dars-dq-dars q8norqt srueel oq^\

raluBal lertuanbes 'pa11elep B eg l,eur no1 'Surssacord uorteturolul Jo

sruals,ts pazrlenpl^lpul trq peugap requnJ ere se1,i,ls fuoruaru/8ururea1

'Surureal roJ uoneruJoJurJotlf,ue ot tl op pue tr ees 'tr reeq ot speau oqrv\ JeuJBel fuosues-lrlnruB eq Leur no^ 'lle tueqt asn no,i. esnef,eq al[rs Suru:ea1 peue;ard rnoL

eulJep l,pealc ot elqeun eg deru nol, rg 'lletap ol uonuelteur ro an8rte;ennruSof, r.{tr/r\ srualqord cglcads ot anp IIe^{ pBer t(useop oq^\ JauJBel

IBnsrA e eq ,ieru no^ 'elzznd eqr;o rred oslE erB slrcrJap ccv anbrunrno 'e8en8uel uer{t rer{ter ErBp lef,rreunu;o rndur fuorrpnu q8norqrtsaq rueel [eru noL 'eldruexe roC 'uollenbe aq] ot ur rotJBJ slllls IBlr

-ueqf,eu pue a8en8uel 'gleru roJ sepntgrde pnpl^lpul 'Irotv\eruery crrsrld-tuls ,(peno slgf ueqt xeldurof, eJoru ere fuoureu pue Surureal asJnof,,O

'S>lsBl lBuorlf,rulsur

SunelndluBul [llectsdqd ro sdnor8 Surureal ul pa^lo^ur Llenrlce ara^\noL uaqn nol, ro; rseq pe{ro^t l,lqeqord looqls

'rl or petceuuof, uoure[ue ]nogttn fuottpn€ Jo IBnsrA sr tndur ueq^\ sruelqord fuoruaru e^Eqi{eru nol, tng 'fuorueu esuas [poq 'alytcet rno[ grlrn ,,leddn-lexrJ,, pue

etelgte tote8rneu tuellef,xe uB eq Leu no[ teureel f,rlaqlsaul{ e ar,no/,;1

'loorlrs r{8tq rorues pue rorunl ul elf,rqe^ Surqcear aqreuBsaq saJntf,el uer{^t &lnotglp JBInJruEd pararunoJue aABq ,teu nod

'trefuatunof, JeuJeel fuorrpne rnoL e{llun 's8urnas esoql ur suor}Je-retul leqre^ er{l ot Surpuodser,blncl}Jlp seq oq,!\ tnq IIe/r\ senf, lerf,os

dn slcrd oqr!\ rapear poo8 B aq deu notr 'rndur lBqre^ yrl,n sruelqord

SCOHIEIAi CINV SCINVHSEhI :AUOhIEI^I

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882

aqt Jo sllerep aqt IIB euISBuI ot llasrnoL molle pue ItBq tts 'aurog rnol

Jo uoJruof, eqt u1 'no[ ]sure3e ]o peetsur no,( Jo] IJo^\ ot uortedrf,uueeqt esn 'tJets ot eoeld e epIAoJd uec ,i.roureru gtlrtt sereletul Alalxuer€qt Surpuutsrepun rnq ualqord srqr ot uoltnlos aldruls B t(usl areqJ

'ure8e-Llqeresrru IIB, II,aH Jlesrl teader lllm [rotsrq pue erur]

Suorrn eqt tB tno {uBIq II,oH '{Jo/v\ t(uod\ fuouraru f,rteJJe slq tBqt part}J

-ret s(aH 'lq8p; a8els;o ear8ap Burz,{1ered e acueuedxe uer reOCVuB lng 'pBerp

Jo esuos B rl]r/v\ Sulleeds crlqnd qreordde aldoed Jo sto'I

,,'ri,BS ol Suro8 ar,nof lgr{.r re8ro;sLenle no[ mou{ no1 ir] /v\olq ol SuroB eJ(no ,, :u^\o str jo spJol\{ gtlrlr

Sutlltj sr ureJq rno,{ 'qtnour rno[ Jo rno spJo/!\ eqr Surrra8 ur8aq no[ sy'Surpunod sr ueeq rno[ pue Sururnqf, sr rloeruo]s rnoL '8ur1egs eJB spuer{Jno i((tno {uBI9,, o1 l,1uo uortBtuasard seles rno[ peue]s noA erreg sarurl[ueru ^\oH :r{..roura;41 IIII A sere}relq leql &aTxuv aql ezlwlqnt

'8uteq-11ed\ Ieuoltorue leraue8 rno[ oslB pue Lroruaur rnoA

anordrur ol elnpaqcs L11ep rno[;o rred B ]r aTBIN 'LpelnBer tr esn puenoL ro; IIer!\ $lro/v\ teqr uals[s B pul; or rirl 'lcafqns eq] uo sadel pue

slooq Jo Jequnu B ur peurltno eJB pu€ sJetuec Surureal dllunruuror pueuortBeJf,eJ ur peJal;o eJE sesJnoc SurureJt uonBXBIeJ Jo spur1 snorJBA

'uorlBJluef,uof, 9llrn eJeJJel

-uI leqt srq8noqr qtr/r\ uonednccoard ruog dpoq pue pullu rno.( eer;UBJ uorlezrlensrl ro SurgreeJq daep 'uorlexeleJ alf,snur enrsserSord;o

senbrurlcet eqJ 'senbruqoet uortexeler snorJBA Sursn Jo rrgeq er{t ur teC

'JeqrueueJ PUB

elBJluaf,uoJ l(uBc nort 'sassarls aJII snorJBA Pue furo/| Lq pardncroardare srq8norlt rno/. jl 'JeqrueureJ ot ,brpqe rnoL uo tcedrur suonorue pue

pooy\ ;pesserdap ro pesserts no,{ ery;8ur1ae; no,{ ere A\oH :xBIeU

;remod iboruaru rno,{ sef,uer{ue teql eoeld puearult B pul, no[ ue3 iraquauer ol 8urfur ar,no/, q]lq^A repun saf,uets

-runcrrf, eqr e8uegc nol, UBO itueruuoJrnue pellrj-uortJeJtsrp 'Lsrou e urSurqreuos JequelueJ ot Surr{rr nor{ ary :seruulsurnlqC aql az[1euv

'punu ur (s)a1&s Stntueal rno,i, dael'mo11o; terp suormeSSns or{rJo eruos pear

IJAZVUC UO Ardms'LZYI rON r^r,l NVAI,{ nOI

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682

'((Jeqto eql tno rq8u puB JBe euo ur saoS tl puB op o1 tBr{/t\ noL ller 1,, 'spron eqt pJeaq ,(puanbar; aneq l,eur noA dn Sur,ror8 eJe^\ noL ueq4l

'eJarl.A{eruos tI elIJ ot uoga snorf,suoo B eletu nod ptun SulqlLue alols,!rad.old t,ueo noL tng 'ot ureqt tuBA\ no,t lou Jo Jeqterl \ sue8ro fuosues rnoAot /,e,r. rreqt e{Bru III^\ tueuruorrlue eqt urog IFrultS .luaserd l,lletuaruog tsnru nol, '8urqilue reqrueuer oI 3reqr,ueweg ol erloqC eqf e{BHl

i3ur133r8 elqellorruooun grlrn lno tsrng Aeur no,{ ro,(serue; srql ur qf,nruoor e81npu l,uop rsnf'8urue]Berqt ssel qrnru pue l,11ls reqler readde 111m

Legr 'e,i.e s,purur rno,( ul 'epnu egr ul Jo Jean\Jepun ur Surllls ef,uerpnernod eur8eul 'tq8p; a8els ranbuoc ot >lf,rJt s(Jotce uB esn osle uBf, no1

'sluedrcrtred eouarpneIBnPI^lPq .lo suoltcBer puB sereJ eqr uo qf,ntu oot SursncoJ ruor; noL

tf,BJtslp pue drouaru ot uortueDe rno,{ esealf,ur uBf, srql'xBIeJ ot anf,rnod se tutod IBJoJ rnoL esn uef, nod 'uortoeeJ af,uerpne e8ne8 ot peeu

11,nol, q8noqlly 71esrno,i, punor8 ot tl te azeB puB eruxr; rq8rl B sB r{rnslurod IBco, IBJtnau B esoot{f, 'uortetuasard rno,{ a{Btu ot otun s,tl ueq/N\

'8urfurolr Jo peatsur

Suuequrerual ro; sar8reue rnort dn ear; uec nod ,rbarxue rnort eseeJoapueo no[;1 'petdncco Llanllf,nJlsuoo sr punu rno,( uerll\ sarJJoA\ pue

sJBeJ rno,i. uo snf,oJ ot alult ssel eABq no^ 'ef,ueruro}Jad {sel uo snf,oJ

rnort eseeJcur nor{, 's8ulqt esaqr Jo eruos lnoqe Allecrrsrlear Surlurqt ,tg

'esnods Jo JoJJnu rno,t Jo pealsur ef,uerpne ue or 3ur11eral,noL ueqt\ ef,ueJaleJ Jo erueg InJesn e no,i, senrS pue loJtuoo ur noi{

stnd Surlurqr enrtrsod 'rseq str lB tr ozrlBnsh 'tsJolr str te uortenlrs aqlezIIBnsIA nol' rer;y isalllllqlssod etorual ,t1uo Jo f,rlsrlueJ sJBeJ rno,{ aryiuortBntrs aqt tnoqB ree; nor{ op lBq/)N 'orJEuass esBc tsJo^\ B Jeprsuoc

-uaserdrno^{rnoq'n,""'oiHxlii;fi","#,Hffit'Jiil?1,mr:ffiur perogcue dlurlJ l1 s1 ;,{es ot teq/r\ Jaqruetuar no,t oC .af,rtf,erd puesf,uerpnB rno[ sB rorrnu aqr esn ieTI lea] 1l seop req4t'Suroer uBeqrno[ pue SurrBen\s sruled rno,{ :suor]Jeer 1ecrs,{qd rnoA tnoqB Iul{I

scloHJEI/{ aNV SCINVHsEI{ :IUO}^{Ehl

'pBeJp no^ uonBnlrs LI

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062

2lleg $q rsn[PBer ^llenuEuof, aqseoq lIJerxapert leuosred srq sr leqt qf,lB^\ ra>1cod B JBa^\ eq seoq lef,ue

+eedde srq rnoqe enbrun SurqrLue ereqt sI 'esla euoeruos ruog uede ruqles tBqt senlJ Jo selou letuaru aletu pue JlesrnoL ot seturt IBJaAes eureu

srq /,es (zneu euoeuros teetu no[ ueqlx\ 'seop uor]e^Jesqo lryeJec tng'[roruaru uI BlBp aq] eJnf,es ol Joqcue uB aprlord t,usaop Surqlatuos

Suueeg ro Suraas ,(1dung :raaresqo regeg e eg ol Jlesrnol uIB{

'uoIlBluJoJuI eql asol IIIAI nor{ ro JequaueJ ol uorsrf,ap snorf,suof,B alBlu 01 a^Bq nor{ rng ,{sea t(usr l1 'furec dagr oSreo ar{t Jo esn e{Bluor sdrqs iEJor" ru{q mup asoqt Jo ,trrcole^ eqt u/!\op ̂rols ot peeu no1

'SuueqruetueJ tB IJol!\ l(uop noz( ueq,t. sueddeq tBqA\ ro uonetuaserdareleJnf,oe uE sr uortezrlensr^ terll tlsnouas iJBe r;a1 rnoA tno Surtooqspue urerq rnoL lo surnl pue stsr/t\t eqt g8norqr Surllanerl (JBe tq8r.rrno,{ olur Suruooz sdrgs ta{f,oJ pro/r\ durf ;o sperpunq Jo erntcrd 1er -uetu Inlepuom e dn ernfuoc o] aurt pardnr:eturun pBq no1 iruooJ rnod

ol lues pue Suruelsll tou JoJ paqsrund aralr no/. uag^r lear8 ll t(useAt

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IiAZVXC UO Ardru-S ',LZVI rON r^r,l NVEhI nOI

Page 308: You Mean I m Not Crazy

T6T.

Lueyq '3ur1urqt ur fua8erur Jo asn eqt;o aldulexe uB sr ((iueetu I ter{^,\eas no,( oq,, 'uorssardxa aqJ :d.roure141 lBnslA-sasuas Jno esn

'raqreSor secetd elzznd petoeuuof, aqt Jo tseJ eqr rnd uec no,{JI Jelsea st acetd fuoruaru Surssrtu aql SurpurC 'eJots fuecor8 eqt ot tno

pepeaq no.,{ ero;eg e8ere8 aqr ur Jlaqs B uo 4a1 noL tBorurer egr pue fuo-rueru eqr qloq purJ ot elqe eq Leu noL 'suonerf,osse apls eseqt g8norqa

ilBoJuIBr rnor{ tsolLpeerle no,( peg 'Suruunr eJeA\ no,(;1 jtruotsureJ arlr Suunp IJoA^, tuog Jool ,{e,r rno/. uo nor( eJellr'esec;euq rnoL Burfurec eJeA\ noA;1 ;sauecor8

;o s8eq aerqr pue esef,Jauq rno[ yrlrn rnodumop e q8norqr Suruunr la^rSurleos ro8 no,( Lup aqr tl t(use/X\;urer ll plp ,iep req16 .suorlBrf,osse

etBAItoB pue selrj fuorueur rno,{ ot ur oB 'laan tsBI teof,urer rnori, r;a1 nol,eJoq^r Jeqrueruar Llsnolnf,BJnu /r\oqeuos 11,nol, ter{t Surdoq ;lesrnod

putl nod erult lxeu eql iSutlensnr; Llaruenxe sr ,,'en8uol Lru;o drr eqruo rg8u s,11,, 'r1t1,r Bur188mts 3lxaluo3 lefuel1e uI uoTleurJoJul lncl

'/v\ou{ Lpeerle no,{Surgleuros ot uoueruJoJur A\eu er{r Joqtue pue suonsenb IrV

'ezrJo-tueur ol 8urful el,no[ ]eq^{;o Surueeu aql puetsJepun /,pee1c noL tBrllsJns eleyr1 droruetu tuJet 3uo1 ul rl eJots,{ltueueurad ol elqe aq J(uo^r

nor{ '11 Surlelr8rn8er Lq dldruls eJntBu xalduoc B }o uortBtuJoJur Jeq-rueruer or ful no[;1 lezuorual4l ol Euu{"5 ar(no1 fBq/K pue}srepun

lrec Surssrur rno/,puIJ ot enrtf,etep B pue eruoq nol, enup ot rxet e 3ur11er dn pua l,eur

noL 'Lertr Jaqtoue uI elBp tBt{t Jor{f,ue t(uop no,i;l tng 'u/t\op tr elrJ/n olg8noua 3uo1 lseal te-ur peryed no,{ a8ere8 8ur>ped qcrqm roquouer

no,{ dleq uBf, tl 'drouraru turat uoqs ro;1n;d1eq eq ,(eru uortBruro}urjo uonltader aldrurg :uorlezrJor,ue'\I elog Jo esn rnoif eJnpeg

'slleleP Peraqrxaruar ,tlalBrnf,rB,o requnu eqr jo {f,Brr dael

pue senordul IIBceJ rno[ sB etur] ,,r{,pnts,, Jo sporJed reuoqs 8urrro11efu1 'qderSoroqd autze8eu e Sursn ,{q asrcraxa fuouraru lensr^ Jo pur{

erues eqt op uBf, no1 'peloruer sB^\ arntcrd eqt uar{^\ slletep peJaqueu-er er{t lle perrodar pue qderSoroqd B peuruexe sluetsaluo3 'teruroJstl sB ,{roureru IBnsrA pesn feqt /!\oqs erue8 nI B sBA\ eJeql o8e sJBeA

'uoltBnJesqo Jo sramod rnod anordrur ot suorsses ef,rlf,Brd peuueld esn

saoHlahi aNV SSTNVHOEI { :AUOhTEI

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267

tnoqe {ulq} puB J}o tg Suru:nt Jo uolloru eqt eleraSSexe 'uo uorl eqlaleel ,{lruanbar; nod }l 'rno tl lf,B uogr pue tl Sulop;1asrnol, ezIIBnsIA

'reqruarueJ ot peou noL leqlr lnoqe {ulql 'ezlJorueru ot esues fpoq

rno,{ esn puB eJlotradal s(Jotf,B eqf rxoU A\oJJoq 'oueqlsaupt sl eporuSurureel paue;ard rno,(;1 :,fuourel I tpeqlseuDr-sasues Jno asn

'edet rno,i, {leq tre1d no,{. se l1 leeder pue rapJooal edel e uo spuBJJe }otsrl ro qcaeds rnod pJoJaU '8uos u/t\onl llerv\ e;o sctr,tl eql uI Jeqrueru

-eJ ot paeu no,i, s8urql eqf Sutuesut ro eurdqJ B uI fstl Sutddoqs rno/,Surnnd fu1 '1pcar fuoruau tdruord ot ,btnrtysues punos pue auLqr 'protr

rrer{l esn uBf, srer.rreal Iegren :rlrouray4l .fuo11pnv-sasuas rnol asfl

'fuorueur rnor{ Suudtuord ur eq III/n a8erur er{t e^nf,eJJe eJour er{l'uorlezrlensrl pue suortf,euuof, er{t snoe8ertno eJoru ar{J 'erueu tsJrJ srr{

ot uortJeuuof, PezrlBnsrn rno,{ 'esrnoc Jo

'q r{3lt{AA ma$ Jo IA\oq a8nge ur Surururrn\s sr fuec rno,{ '.{rlJ fueurpro a)illun 'eJntBeJ luecr;ru81stsoru s,uerufueC 'r]At

IBer aqr sI slqt esneoeg JIBII por Jo spunoru gtlrnperanof, sl rlslJ ruer8 rno ' (4loct r{sr; tuBIS e;o e8erut leluaru e ateerf,

rq8nu nor{ 'uerufu"C uunts 'tuetlc A\eu rno,i. Jo eru€u oqt JequeureJot paau noL;1 'serueu Suuaqruerual Joj IIaA{ $Fo/v\ Lra8eutt IBtueW

'JetBI uler{r ro; Surgf,Jees tJets nod ueq^\ puttu rno[ ur dn dod

lllm ere8elNJo a8erur uB reqr er€ sef,ueqc'putqaq rueqt e^Eel op no,i;luole tng 'tuer{t lnoqtl^\ ruoor aqt ro tno Sutzaerq ruog;1esrnol, dots otq8noua aq Leru a8eurr eqt etearf, ot tueruotu B 3u1ry1 islleC ere8elp reloldems are ,teqr sB tnoqB Surssol sLel rnor{ ezrlensrn-e8eurt IBtueuI eAIl

-eur8urur uB etBaJJ pue lelnej eqt pue tueqt te {ool 'spueq rno,{ qse^t

or paddots en,nori, eJeq^\ luls tuooJqteq eqt uo s,i.e>1 rno,i. dorp no[ sy

'eJar4 \euos u \op tueqt tnd ol uets nor{ erurl lxeu aqr anbtuqoel 8urmo1-lo; aqr Sursn fur 's,{e1 rec rno,{ aceldsnu Lleuttnor nor( JI

'tl paeu no,{ueq^\ IIEOaJ str tdruord ot puB uorteruJo;ul Jo uolteJtst8ar IBIIIUI eql

anordur ol fue8erul lerueu pue uonezrlBnsrn esn uef, notr 'SuuaqueuaJ

JoJ Jor{oue poo8 B sI puB dttnnearf, pue uotteut8Brul JoJ sls€q eql sIpulru aql uI ueqr gllrn ,,r{,e1d,, pue seSeur lBtueu uSrsep or Lrrlqe uy

'sernlctd letueru

eteJf,uof, olur petBlsuBJl ,ilssepro;;a JoqtBJ aJB secuauedxa pue sSurlaa;'uorlemro;ur Sunuooul 'fuoruau

IBnsrA q8nortp rseq JaqruelueJ aldoad

iiAZVuc uo ardrus'LZYaroN h{,1 NVEIAI no^

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f.6z

'fuouleru snorf,suoc rnor{ ur sseoordaqr xIJ or dlaq lJlzn pue ,blnlrce aqr g8norqr Surpeacord;lasrnoL lee;

PUB ees no,i dleq III/I\ slr{J 'uortef,ol rlsBe tB qf,tr^{s e Surddlu lesrnoAaut8eurt PUB Josuas qf,ea ol esnoq rnoA punoJe eAolAI 'sJosues urooJ

eqr PUB xoq loJruof, eqr ezrlensrn 'asnoq rno[ a^Bel nol, aro;aq ruatsl,s,buncas rno,{ uo runl ol Jequoual ol 8urfur ar,nod JI

.steeq etuouonatue se Solelec rnoL ul rueqt ol Surlurod pue u/tlop rueqt Surtum 'spromegr Surleeds pue Sureas,iq 'aldurexe ro; 'lsr1 (suortef,rjroeds rcnpord

s,/,uedruoc rnol, Sutztrorueru fu1 'suuaqruerueJ;o ,{rrlenb eqr anordurrot ssauerene fuosues Jo spull rer{to grlrn peurqurof, eq uec pue fuo

-tueru IBnsIn poo8 gtlrn IIoJ roJ InJesn ere suorlerf,osse e8eur IBtuelAJ

'llBrer ratBl roJ roqf,uBeJnf,es erour B e^Bq 11,noL'(t1 Suueeq puB SurLes) IeuuBqf, drotrpnerno,{ pue (ty Suraas ,{11erueur pue tl Surpear) Iauueqc IBnsrA rnod

'(umop l1 Suttum) lauueqf, f,ueqtsaul{ rno,{ Sursn Lg 'ure8e lr ecrtoerdueqt puB elou rno,t re Surlool ^q ,i;oureru IBnsrA rnoL;o i{cerncceeqr {leqC

'pnol€ }! des pue tl azrlensrl ,se^{,a rno,{ esolr ,etou rno,(pBeU 'rueqt acrtcerd puB uA\op s8uyqr alrr^\ ol paeu noi{ ,srqt op oI

'sloot fuoruau sB rueqt esn l,lenrlce nod sselun IIBteJtuanbasqns ro, uouBturoJur erots no,{ dl",{ [11ear ](uop tnq fuoueur

uJal rJoqs roy sldruord tear8 eJB seloN'sJepunuar rno,{ umop SurlumLldtuts le dots l(uop tng 'asnog rnod rnoq8noJqt sef,BldJo,{rauel B ur

parsod pue uenrr^\ setou e^Bq l,peerle l,lqegord no ieulr rq8u eqt tBaceld lq8lr eqr rB eAIJJe ot tue/r\ no,i I luaulurodde rnod u^\op et.Jd\sdeznle lnq 'ure8e srqt r{es ot peau,tllear t(uop dlqeqord e^r ̂{oDI e/N:(.reqr,uewag ol Ara,, lsnf l(uoq-sepe1e.4g d.rosues,ppl I asfl

'lualue^our rnor(;o uqtr(qJ eqr ol ezrJotuelnl 'uouBJeA JoJ e^Belnol, aro;eq op ol peeu no,{ s8urqr aqt Jo stuerlf, A\eu rnod }o serueu eql

teadar 'tuooJ aqt ssoJf,B IIoJrs ro urds r{f,Be uO 'erurt erues eqt tB Suuaq-tuetueJ acncerd 'ectilo rnod punoJe Surced Jo JrBrlJ {sep rnod ur Suru

-utds ,{1duls }o peatsul 'ple fuoruaur B sB sseusseltseJ rnol, as61 '8ur{f,oraql Jo utqrrigr eqf of Sutztrorueru pue rrerlf, Surloor rnoit ur 3u1rr1s fuI

'pulru rno,{ ur L-roulau erp aJBJI d11ecrs,{gd uec uonf,B eqJ JJo1l Peurnr nort raqteq^\ relel repuo/r\ ot tou IaeJ III/rt rl Inlepuo/v\ lv\orl

saoHJEI{ ANV SCTNVHCAI{ :AUOh{Ehl

Page 311: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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''l'( tr

'eutllno letueru B uo Llar no1 'IuBq fuoruaru rnor{

ur uorteruJoJul eqr pezrJo8etec,i.lsnornard eneq no'{ asnecaq 8op B s.ll/t\ouI no^ irpear e3re1 fuan Jo sA\or oAu Jo lrel lnFalrod B re^o Sutlser

tnous B pue IIet euo 'se[e PUB sJBe omt 's8al JnoJ gflm 'letutue

PeJe-Aoo JnJ B sB lseeq eqr aqucsep ol a^Eq t(uoP notr '8op u^\oJg e8rel e se

IuBIIBSSB rno,( lgruapt Allcrnb no,t '3a1 rno/, Jo lno alrq B loor rsnl oqm

IBturuB snolf,oreJ eqr rroder ol punod IBIuIUE lecol rno,{. 11ec nod uaql6.

'tndur Jo suorlerf,osse eqt ezrue8ro dllerttut no,( ̂\oq uo spuedep

Lla8rel serJotueur IIBteJ r{laterncf,B ol hlpqe JnoI ''{rouraru e ldruordol uorl€rf,osse ue Sutsn et,noA ',,' ' jo aru sPwtueJ lBqL, 'r{es nor( ueql6,

'lno>lJo/r\ e sla8 ,i;tzruearc rnori. 'pertnbar eresuollelf,osse snollqo ssel ueq/X\'l,llecrferuotnB dn pe11ec st fuoruau aqJ'reurnq eqr #o Suturnl Jo uollre aqr qrl/r\ Surlrsrgm todeal eqr Jo Punos

eql elBrf,ossB no,{-,ilssalrJo#e PUB ,(11ect3ol Jnf,f,o suollelf,ossB eqlserurletuos 'uJoq sr Sutlutql a^ItBeJc PuB Jar{louB ol uI s^tolt,i.11ern1eu

eepl auo 'suonBrJosse snorJBA q8norgr peqsrlduloof,e st ureal no,{

lBq1y\ Jo qrnl/{ ssuoqercossv gllltr Paqquloc uopBzTIensIA esrl

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962

euo 'sePof, rarlel 3u1sn PesI^eP eg uBc Suuegureurer roJ $lf,rrr dueyq 'uorteur8erul rnol,_Lg Lluo petrurl sr (senbruqf,et Lroureur; qcrn ci-uoursuur Injesn Surdolenac :s{rul rruoruaunl uA{o Jnotr lue^ul

isJepunueJ lBuortlppe due peeu t(uo/r\Llqeqord no[ '3e1 s]] uelorq rsnt seq Bop rnoi( pue eqceqtoor elqlrrer

B tuog Suua;;ns el,no,i, JI 'esrnol

Jo .peJoqrueuoJ eq ot uoseeJ crsurJlur

. ou e_^Brl esr^\Jeqto plno/\{ ]Bq] sSurqr JsqruaueJ ot senJ Surprnord [q,{rrxeldruoJ erlt ef,nper L11en1ce ,ieqt rng .ueprnq fuorueru aqt ot sertxa

Surppe Lq s8urqr erecrldruof, sanbrugoat esaqt reql ruais rq8Su r1

'fuoruaru ot ruaqt Surllrunuof, Jo ef,ueqJJetleq qf,nlu B e^Br{ noL 'dem snoJotunq B ul luaqt Suralensr^ puB

sluell onu egl.8uuted,ig ismet slq ul {f,nls uonoc gllrn rreqf, lBruapB uI IrBq 3urd1 euBC leerC rno[ Burzrlensrn fut uer noL ,lsrluep eql

ot oB PUB lerr eql IIel ot JaqueureJ or e^Eq no,i;1 'sa8erur letueru puB

suouBrf,osse rnod grlrn e^rtBeJc eJotu llq B eq ot aABq nol, ,sarulreuos

nor.,11113 eq, uo srBe,s 1o "a"'$yili:#';i:f ::ff:::JTl?it rl;il 'patf,euuoc d11ec13o1 eru_srualr o/nt eqr ,11p3 rnoL roJ {uBt se8 agr IIIJ puedoqs Jeqctnq eqt or oE ot JequeueJ ot eABq no,f;r-,eouBtsur roC .slsrlJoJ InJesn [pelncrrred st sauo8alec Sursn dq fuorueru rno,{ Surzrue8rg

'lse1x\ rCI sl eulBu slq esnBf,eq rooJts eqr Jo epls tsBe ar{t uo srecrilo s(Jotf,op rnol ]Bqr Jeqtu€rueJ no^ .suouerf,osse uuoj ot sef,uare#lppuB uosrredruoc sasn r{f,rq m Sut4utyt Tonua"taltrp sr ssra^uor aqJ .s,pllr{l

rno,{ sB eures eqt sr tr esneJeq depqrrlq s(puau; rno[ JequeueJ no1',btrellruls ̂q ruer{t etercossB nod 's8ulrlt raquaurei ot But4uryl TocEoprnasn no^{ ueq/A. 'uor}Blf,osse pa(no.r.8 ro pano(}o puH tsaldruis etlt Bursn

ar,no[ 'Tulrp rno[ ro; sse13 B Jo JrBq rno[ uo gruof, E asn no^( ueq16

'Jequeual ol Paeu no,{ sruarl Jaqtoeqt ot noL apln8 reqr s8eg euoceq s8urpeaq ureur rno .requeuar ols8urqr 11 \aJ a^Bq nozt os sSurpeag urBtu repun sacerd ep Silrdnor8;o

s[em 1ecr3o1 ro speerq] uounuoc Bur,llruepl rB Trolxt .ecird,tq ecard r1

oP ot ldurelle no,{;l Jeqr.uausJ ot sllBtep ,tueru oot JBJ eJB aJaqJ .aull-tno IBtuaru B olur elBp 1o seoerd eldlrlnru egr rnd o1 pesu nol, ,ryo^\ lelcalord ]ueJJnf, B Jo stuena fuolsrq ,s8op BuuaqruarueJ al,nol, raqlaql6

SCOHJEI^J CNV SCINVHCEY\ :AUOhIEhI

Page 313: You Mean I m Not Crazy

967.

'eroqs eqt rB te{uelq l{reeq rno^ uo nor{ re Surqruoq e^IP sI lBql eeq

B ruory Suruunr jlesJno^ azrlensrl pue eJoqs-eeq-unJ ol 1l erBISuBJl uBf,

nol, '.pg1 eceds ur paTJBd sr rec rno,{ teql JaqueueJ ol Peeu noL uaqlX

'c1a 'pueq euo uo sraBuI,=eAIJ'lec lnod, uo

serrt aqt=Jno, 'a18ueut e=eeJql 'rvresees B uo spf>l=ol\] '1c1ls 8uo1=euo

:Lpueragrp Lpg311s tsII rnoA dn les senf, IBnsIA ra;erd no,i;1 'cla 'airtg=ellJ

'aroqs=ino; 'aeq=eeryl 'oout-onu 'uru=euo :sonf, IenSIA ro seulr{gr Jeqlla

Sursn sJaqunu jo tsII e dn Sutttes ,tr1 'sreqlunu Jequeuer ot ,ten

poo8 Jerpoue sr uorterf,osse l€nsrn e qtIA\ Paulquoo ruals,{s Sutpoc y

.Jequeual ol Jersea uele s,l1 'raqrunu asnoq ro e8e rno[ uIBluoJ

ot uaddeq srred rallBuls eql JI 'srr8rp eerql ro o^\l;o sdnor8 rellerus

ot ur tl {eeJq no,i, ueq^\ IeIsBO rlsnru seuo3eq Jequnu auoqdelef lI8lP

ueles e Suuaqueueg 'esn sn;o l,ueru feql {cIJl Jaqloue st 3ur4unq3

'uaqr SuuaqurerueJ toseJuBr{J rno,{ anordurt 11,noA

'aen1l Lq puoces eqf pue 'auo,i.q saseerc.ur requnu qree ur rr31p rsrl; eql teqr;lasrnoL Puluer no,i;l lng '{f,Irl

fuorueur B lnoqtl^r requeuar ol tplltilP aq tq31u-0€ 'LZ'bl-1aol

rno,{, JoJ uonBurquoc eqJ 'ryo/Keurer; e8erots Jelelo e Sutu8tsap ,tq retl-lurB} uortetuJojur eqr a>lBlu ot sr sJequnu jo selJes B Jeqlueurar o1 .(tem

euo 'a8eut lBtueru Aue fsaSSns ,i,leterParurul lou,{eru qllq^\ Jo luoPuEJ

eJ€ qf,rq^\ sJequnu Jo serJas e SuuequreuleJ JoJ enllcaJle osle aJB sIsIrJ

.sdrureqt sr 3ur11eds loerroc etp 'snq1 'Sutuado JBInf,JIf, B serl soruJeql B

asneoaq tou s(ll lng 'sTuueql Palleds eq Plnoqs ll e{ll sPunos 1l iPlor ro

toq slurrp rno deal ot esn eA\ rauletuor eqr jo 3ur11eds eqr lnoqe let{l6,

ieepl er{l 1e3 nol, lurql e^\ tnq 'serpPnq rno se sledtc-uud rno Jo Iulqr ot sn Jo aruos Jo, PrBL{ aq ,{eul ll ^\oN 'ledrouud

"1lsntu ssoq s(lootlrs aqt jo 3ur11eds lf,erJor eql os uosrad e sr 1ed V

'led

-Surpue eqr Jo lqql ol aq lg8nu If,III auo ;5[drcuud aqr Jo PBe]suI

JEdrcuud aqt sI lootlrs eql Jo ssoq aqr r€qr reqrueruer no,{ uBf, /l\oH

'senf, ,(ue lnogrlA\ Ireql JequerueJ

of 8urfuf rno,{ uBrlt ,t11crnb pue l,lastcard eJolu selueu aqf dn slles aPoc

renal e^I' eql 'rouadng PuB alrfl 'ue8rqcr;,11 'otreluO 'uorn11 :se{B-I

tearC e^I, eqt IIBler ot S A W O H Pro/r\ eql Susn sI euo uA\oDI IIa^{

il,tzvuc uo aldnrs't\zvaroN h{,1NVEIAI nOI

Page 314: You Mean I m Not Crazy

L6Z

tng 'f,Isnru Surl,uedruocce dq parearc e8essatu aqt pue eurl l,rots eqt Jo esnBsaq stuanard tr uBql suortsBJlsrp eJour selBal),t11ecrdrb uorsr^eleJ

'no,{ ro; IIOA,!, S>lJo,r._'[ue JI 'f,lsnru ]Br.{A{ tno arn8rJ ot peou ll,noL jr8urureal

Jo sPul{_aluos ro; dorplreq anltf,e#e Lpelncrued e s crsnru anboreg terliparsaSSns e^Br{ serpnts tuof,eJ q8noqrly .lueuuoJrnue rno[ ur sesrou

snoauBuxe eql tno 8ur>1lolq l,q pueq t€ lsEr er{t uo nod punorS olsdlaq osle 1l 'rueor ol purlu rno[ srrru:ad reqr rirnb;o asuedxe eqr lno Bur-{rolq JoJ loot alrtoe3i}e uB eq uBf, ,f,rsnu Lpelncrued ,eslou punor8lceg

'sluooJ Jno uI qseP eql lBt{l Sutltcxe eJolu qf,nru saceld ol suorsJnf,xe puesdur pulru Inlepuo^\ retsoJ uec larnf isn Jo eruos ro; BurlcBrtsrp ,ifsuy-telf,nJf,xe aq uBf, larnb trllear ul .TJEru ar{t pessru eABq Leur suotuJes

Jleql 'suollcellslP ou grlm BoJB lernb B ur eJBId aler lsntu SurureeltBqt sread roJ paqleord e^Bq elllB sraqf,Bat puB stuered qSnoqllv

ltseJ os eroqt la8 ,teqr plp znog iilo tl urnll,uPlp no,i;l /\{olloJ plno^\ rer{t secuanbesuoc aqt Jo stBerqt errp r{tr/r\

rooP rno[ lB eAIrrB s]uered rno,{ plp 'uorrnq renod eqr tlq noi rer;eWuo^Jasqlg, ulqll/)fi. luo Peurnl nod tas uolsrlelet ro orpgr aqr;o reznodleolSeu LlSurulaas eqr lB pezerue dllenurtuoo noL eram:>porneruorl rno,i,

Surop pltqc B ere^r nod ueqlfi 3esroN punor8rlaug io crsn;,q asrl

sdIL EuSueef IBreuaC'?untna1"tafto se slr{t or JeJeJ sJorBf,npE 'suorsses JerlJEe ruo$ uoueruJoJur

Peureal l,llerrred eql uo pllnq pue uaa^{r3q ur acrlcerd,tlleruro;ur olno[ selqeue snll 'erult ralo pecttcerd s,]l JI rseq peureter sr uorleuuo]ul

'[pnrs o] elnulru tsBI eqr lltun tre,t\ ot tou noL peuren dlpereadar riSqiueqlr ouo srrp tnoqe rq8u eJaA\ sJaqJBet JnoI iIJoA\ t(uot\ suorsses ruBJC

iure8e pue ure8e PuB (ule8B-f,8eterls aqt af,rtcerd 'acrtcerd ,ecrtcerd

ueqt puv 'tl eJots ot pasn nod r{SereJts eqt A\erAeJ ,Bunpauos IIBf,aJ ol

eurrt s,tl uer{a\ 'lleA{ fuan {Jo^/\ t(uoiu, plJoA{ eqt ut senbrurlcet fuourarutseq eqt 'psreeqar peuuBld rnoqll16 iesreeqeg

.asruaqau .asreeqag

f, rsurl,ur^ueeneq,,#;u,T;i:fi :ffiT,T:J;::,Tl;;i:H::ilderu noL ,ecrlcerd qrl/N .pareclldtuoJ tuees,{eru srqr ecuel8 rsrg ly

scloHJ.ay\ ctNV sctNVHcEIAi :IUOI.^,IEIAI

Page 315: You Mean I m Not Crazy

862

'srauJeal clteqtseq{ pue froltpne 'lenstn ro;

1ryd1aq oq uBf, 'tndut €rBP gtlrn perred,{ltntlle lecrsLqd [tV isaslrrexaJooU rno[ op no^,i, ellq/\{ oePI^ Sutureel E q3]B/!\ no,i. ue3 iJeProf,eJ

edet rnoL uo 8ut,(e1d safou Suttaeru Sutruocdn rno[ qllrlt {lBA'\ {slJqe 8ur1er ro a>[lQ aslf,rexo rno,i. leped no,i ellt{rl Burpear ]noqe rBq^4N

'eapl peq B eq tou rq8rru s1eerq Suunp 3ur133nt rng

iqllBaq letrs,iqd rnol ot snoprezeq PuB Suttcerlslp oor llq PBt e aq lq8tulqql 'slleq el; 3ur133nt Lg Surureal Sutnordurl lnoqB SutpPtI ereA\ a/X\

'Surnoru [q srqrop uerlo uec al1 'len;

IBuoItlPPe ut dund ,{lsnonulluor ol Peeu e.ry\'pelllJ Dluet a8erols rno daal oI illld Surdaels luelsul uB eq u€c {ooq

f,nuof, B uerlt xelduloc erotu 8urqf,{ue PBaJ ot u1v\oP 3uru15 'Perll ureld

rsnl pue pasnoJeJapun ,tlSurseaJJur eruoceq eA\ 'l"tJ uleJq Jo saf,JnoseJ

re8eeur rno dn esn e^\ sV'sluet e8erots Ienj Ietueur IIElus Lleuerlxa a^Br{

uBf, sn;o Luey4 :sileg arlf, al88n[ ro e]ilg asrtraxg ue apIU '{e \

'peeJ ot JersBe aJoJeJeqt pue JeJBall pue rafuegs reedde txet eqt seleru,tc.ueredsuert aq1 'uolsuaqerdruoc jo la^el eqt PUB Surpeer rno,( Jo alBr aql

anordur uBJ {ooqpueq Lcrlod rno,( ur e8ed e JeAo [cuaredsueJ] Joloc B

3urce14 'snf,oj rno,{ ut l1nf uBO rolor eI{J 'ryozmaded rno,( rePun Preoqrelsod parolof, Llrq8uq;o ecerd e8rel B esn 'leuuetlJ

IBnsIA Suorts rno,i,

Jo asn e{BIu ueo aced$lJo/n rno,i, ot Jolof, SutPPV 'rauJeel IBnsI^ eql

ro;,{11reruud drl raqlouB sl sHI :Eururea1 ezlurfxen ol roloC asn

'serult reqto aqr ror Burqsen rBf, eqt e^Bel PUB seulr lead esaql

Suunp 8uru.rea1 esuelul elnpaqts ot Peeu no 'Jeqloue ueql Aep rno,{'

;o fred euo Sutrnp lualf,I#e aloru Llleraue8 ere no/, fegf pur; l,eru noL

rng 'enBItBJ pue IBsnorB;o selcl,r elqetclPardun L14e; e^Eq ,i11ectdl'rSJaCICV esnef,eq lsef aldruts e ,(luessef,eu t(usl slr{J'{f,oll IBuIelu rno,i,

;o salcAo aqt Jo erB^\B eruof,eg or l,r1 :setull Eulu.rea-I e1nPeqts

'IJo/v\ rreqt uo rueqt spunorS pue SuuePuE&\ egr udnJJelul ueeJf,seqt tB secuelS orpouad rBqt troder [",{I 'uolluene SuuapuBl\ }o

snf,olar B pue prel\erJlas ]uettlturatul;o sesod-rnd lenp aql ro; AI eql

Sursn trodar sraCCV euos 'ro1d aqt Lq Patf,BrtslP eruooeq ol PeuII3-ur ssel aq 11,noL esne3eq tseq,ilqeqord erB sunreg 'PIB Surureal Inlesn

B eg u€f, AI 'gctem noA ruerSord cgyceds aql lnoqe Inleref, ar,no,{;l

iilzlruC uO ardruS'xzvl roN h{(l NVEhlno1

Page 316: You Mean I m Not Crazy

667.

slsrlBr3eds lsotu tng 'uarpllqt pelqusrp Suru:ea1 uorllru o^u rapunere^r ereqt terlt 'gL6I ur potBturtsa uouef,npE Jo ecrilO satBts perrun

eqJ ',{ren slenp}^lpu pelqesrp Surureel Jo requnu eqt }o seterurtsE

COV pue seIrIIqesI(I Eu1u.rea1:Prod\ IuuI{ v

'no,{ Joj sIJoA\ tl os luetuuoJrnue Bururual leuosrad rnod eteJtseqf,Jo'{uBq drorueru rnod ruog sedel aJrft?D 8uru"tna1 tuered pue reqf,Bet eql

eseJe os 'nol, JoJ s>lJo/t\ t€qn{ esle auoAue ueqt Jeneq A{ou>I notr .Bur-uBal rnod atBlrlrcBJ ot se{Bt tr Jeneteq^\ op pue slf,ultsul rno,{ qrf^ o3

'oofr{e>1o s,teqt '>pozn nod ellr{zn slcrdqtoot uo A\eqf, olpaeu no,(;1 'tl roJ oB Jlezn eqt tsurB8e Surueel ro dn Burpuets re;erdnofJI

'rl op puB peaq! oB 'leqc {sep rno.( ur lrr^\t or e{ll no.(;1 .{sep rnor{

te ternb pue rq8rerrs dn Surnrs lnoqB plol uaeg a^Br{.4,eru noi leqrrnarrdsap tueel or ,{em Suour ro tq8lr ou sr ereqJ ielqegoJrrroC leC

. --

scloHJ,at\ cNV scrNVHCAhl :AUOhrAhl

Page 317: You Mean I m Not Crazy

00t,trrpqesrp Jotoru auIJ

,{rrpqesrp Jotoru ssor8Llyllqestp a8en8uel puelxep

,irlpqesrp a8en8uel snoeueluods

urerq oqt Jo tno {f,Bq uoueruro;ur te8 or ,blpqeq uV 4nd1ng

,irrllqesrp rtroueut turel 3uo1 fuorrpne,blpqesrp l;oruaru tural 3uo1 IBnsIA

,brpqesrp fuoruaru ruret uoqs fuottpne&111qestp fuouleru rurel troqs IBnSIA

:d.roura;rq

saIlIIIqBslp uoltf,BrtsqB fuorrpnusenrlrqeslP uollf,BrlsqB IBnSIA

,{rrlqestP Sutcuenbes fuoltpne,brlyqesrp Sutcuenbes lenstn

urerq aql Lq peretsr8eruorleruroJur eqr puetsrepun ot drlpqeur uV :uor1el8a1u1

sertrlrqBslp qlnot pue etsel '11eurs

seItIIlqBSIp lenrdecrad fuorrpneseItIIIqBSIp lenrdecred IBnsIA

saslnduu fuosues;ouorteterd:etur Eurerq eql ur ,{rryqesrp y :Fnldecla4,4ndu1

'salllllq€stp Sutureel clllf,ads ;ofueuurns B sepr^ord rr'o' Jr\ te^ll s I'utl, /'q ntyc poo$ ra?.rnslw ̂lL Tooq

eqt ruo{ trerlf, 3uuro11o; aqJ 'sluauodtuoo esaql uee^ueq ro ulqtl^\ssacord Surureal eqt ur uoudnrslp e sr ,trrpqesrp Surureal y 'rndrno

pue froruaur 'Sutssecord ']ndut :stueuodtuof, Jno] seq Surureal IIV

'((suonBInJIBO lef,IteueqrBur op pue 11ads

'ettllt 'pear '>1eads '{tlqr'uelstl or ,{rrpge rceyedrul uB uI;1astl lsoJlueru Leu qslqr!\ 'uelltur louelods 'e8en8uel Sursn pue SurpuetsJepun uI penlo^ut sessecord lect

-8o1ogc,isd crseq eqt Jo oJoru Jo euo uI JepJoslp 8,, sB uoltef,npg Jo tuetu-rredeq selels petlun eql Lq peqlrosep sI reProstp Surureal f,IJIOedt V

,r'uarpllgc PelgBsIPSurureal uorllru rg8ra tsBel lB aJB aJer{t ter{t Surteuruse etuos 'aer8estp

IJAZVUC UO ArdruS'LZVI rON hr,l NV:IIAI no^

Page 318: You Mean I m Not Crazy

r0t

er{t sasnJuof, puE JepJo Suorzn eqt ur BtBp slnd ,punore sJequnu puBsrellal sdlU ulerq PoIqBSIP Surureel V

'tndtno pue [roruau ,uor]er85lur'lndul :Sutureel Jo stuauodruoc aqt ur tuarurredrur f,rJrf,eds e ot enp uorl-Blurojul Sutssacord algnorl Surneq suBetu drrpqesrp Suru-rea1 e 3urne11

'lleA{,fuen uorlBtuJo}urSuruocur ssacord t(uo1v\ noL 'asrnoc;1oB eqt uo tno urBJg rnoA qit^ '[1uo dpoq ur ]ueserd are nod;1 'suelqord uonueue ol enp urerq er{r

ot ur uoueluroJur 8urne8 Lllerrrur elqnoD Surneq suBatu acv Surnepl

.CCV Burneq ruog ruereglpst .firlqeslp Sutureel B Surneq 'deFeno aqt elrdsec 'stuordru,{s Surddel-ra^o ,{ueur erB eraqt esnBraq selrlllqesrp SururBal puB ccv }o suors

-lltp [rerlrqre serur]euros aqt tsure8e an8re plnor euo lqroq ro CCV '&rpqesrp Surureal cr;1ceds B tl sl 'surelqord Burureel s(lenpl^lpur u€roj suosBer aql lno esBel ol ,{sea t(usl tl 'qCIV orurnu uBf, sertrllQesrp

Sutureal PuB seltlllQesrp Surureel onunu uer surelqord leuorluapv

f,rllqestp Surureel parerrosseuB ruou tlnser ]f,BJ ur ,(eur eSenSuel uellrr^\ gtlrn &1ncg;lp v

.uorss-erdxa ueltlJly\ ro IBJo ro; aBenBuBI sseJord ol ro/pue a8en8uel ueurJ^\

ro IBro aAIef,eJ or L411qe peledurr uB sr srqt 'srurar eldrurs u1 .furpqe-srp e8en8uel enrsserdxe Jo enpdacer B sr uounrrof, lsotu aqr l,1qeq-or.l

'sanrlrqBslp 8u1u:Bel perBrf,ossB e^Bq sreQCV 1o Kluotuw eqt tBql e^erl-aq srredxe eluos 'loe; u1 'setrllqBslp Surureel cgycads peterf,osse eneq

oslB srecQv eruos tBql sr uosBer fueuIrd eql .uorssnf,slp sF{l Surpnlcurer(oA\ [.]^ repuoA\ Leru noL 's]1npB ul ccv lnoqB sr Iooq srq] erurs

isB/!\ ar{ nools A\oq tnoqB Suorzn sJeqJBelsrq anord ol uo tue1l\ l,lureuac aH 'uosrpfl B^lv sBtuoqJ, sBd\ IV

,, ;IV uos "LnoL'sa?m,?uv1-lilappuas 01 pasnuo.t4 a\ wrlt sryiutaryutot"t qoog lo xog n anncat" no;

plp \lol aW llD sntoH- mou Kog n a\ll Vrnru >f!I1,uop 1 Kyqnnysuorparnofi aftD\ I , slpaftn lD.Laftas arols a\l pau,vlQ-raq?o w rnaQ,,

:sertrlrqesrp tndrno/uorsserdxe uellrJ^\ seteJrsnllr puep1o rea^( ueetauru palqBsrp Surureel B ̂q uenrr^\ sem BurmolloJ eql

saoHIll,{ cNV sctNVHCll{ :IUOh{Ehl

Page 319: You Mean I m Not Crazy

z0f.

-urf,urc jo ^trsJe^lun aql 'uol]Bf,nPe atenpBJ8 JoJ suollnlllsul uI PunoJuauo ere stuerSord aseqt 'tre; ul 'sluePnls

Pelqestp Sutur:ol roJ .{11ec1

Jlcads sruer8ord Surdolenap ere sloorlf,s leuoltef,o^ pue seballoo Aue14

'saItIIlqBsrp Surureel

Htpr Surleep ro; set8ateJts ureel ol elBI ool reneu s(ll 'OS ro 97 e:,noA

raqteql6 'spred\er InJ-repuom deer uBf, seItIIIQesrp Sutureal cgrceds;o

seere aqt uI Sutrotnt leroedg 'stlnPB ul C'I uo Eutsnco; ̂{lSutsearrul are

slsrlertads Sutureel 'CCV PooqrlnPe uI lserelul luerrnr er{l 3ut1a11ere4

'stlnpe gtlm Bur4ro.,r,r uI ezllelf,eds oqn sJolnl

Ietol sesn pue CT qrl^A stlnPe ro; Alleclllreds sdnor8 uoddns seq 'a1d

-urexa ro; 'ueuullulC ut ,batcog etxals[C uo]ro eql 'salels Pallun eql

JaAo IIB saqluBJq gtr/n suonezrueSro lBuoueu eJB qlog 'EaJB rno[ uI IBJ-JaleJ B JoJ tf,Btuof, uec no,t sef,JnoseJ oA\l eJB saIlIIIQesrq Sutureel grlmuerpllqC ro; uoltelf,ossv eqt PUB ,harrog erxals/,q uolro eql 'srlnPe

gtlrlr /,1anrsn1cxe IJo^l oq^A sJolnl are eJeqJ 'uaIPIIr{c ro; lsnl st uol]El-perueJ leuolte)npe teqt atunsse l,uoq 'CAV rno,{ se IIa/v\ se Ol rno,{ ro;

dl".{ Iaes plnoqs no/, '[rrllqeslp Surureel E srelooun uol]Bnle^e rnoL;1

'pasou8elp aram seltlllgeslp Surureel rnoL leql 1,1-eTlun sI tI' tf,V uatyll:11C paQQncrynH lM tot uonncnp1 eqt' 7bI-h6 A\B'I

rllqncl ;o e8esse d S Let eqt reUB looqls uI ere.^A no,{ ssa1u61 'sruoldru,{s

elqe^resqo pue [rotsrg uo L1e1os paseq sB^\ sISouEBIp rno,{ JI Sulrsar

Ieuortlppe a^Bq ot no/. a8ernocue eA 'uoltenlela leuollef,nPe-oqcAsd

eraldruoc e SurnBq jo ecuetrodrur eqt serorsrepun l,rrllqlssod slql

'.hrpqeslp Surureel Pasou8erpun uB e^Eq Leru

no/. 'srualqold elqecrldxeul aABr{ lllls lnq sonssl CCV rno[ grlm sser8-ord 8ur1€tu eJ(noL pue Surryom sr eurJrparu rno/,;1 'Lrenocar rno[ ut

acard alzznd Sutssttu eqt ag .{eur rl 'PalqBstp Surueel osle a;e nof let{l,tfrpqrssod aqt Japlsuof, ot no,{ JoJ lueuodtut s(ll {utql a,,rlr 's1aqe1 uo

dn Sunq ra8 ot tue,r t(uop a,l q8noqrry 'saltllua ateredas paJePISuoJ eJB

o^\t eqt 'sutpuetsJepun PuB qf,Jeeser ul lutod slgl lV 'suotldtr)seP

PUBsuoltluljep ot ul\op setuof, seltlllqeslp Surureel 's^

OCV Jo enssl eql

'etep 1o rndrno pue uolteteJdralut s(uIBJq

eqt ur sJoJJe tf,eJJoJ t(uBJ tr esnef,eq salrlllgestp Sutureel SurreeJl JoJ

sselesn sr aurf,rpe14 's8urqt Jaqro Suorue 'spunos Suturooul Jo Sutueatu

IIAZVUC UO AIdnlS 'LZVll ION hl,l NVsy\ nOA

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'retdBr{f, txeu eqt ur suortsenb eseql 11eJePlsuof, II,a/A, iluelulBeJl B sB eurcrpatu esn ot uorsrf,ep B ur JaprsuoJnoz( plnoqs sanssl teq711 2sarderaql enrteuJatle ruog serdereqt rueerts-urBlu sateredes tBqrN;dleq eplstno {e3s ot tuB/n noL oq .suorsr3ep

Surleru PuB tueruteaJt SurpunoJJns senssr IBJeueB eruos eroldxaot tuBA\ a^r 'tsJU tng 'luaql

Jo Jequnu e;o seldrcuud eql euruBxeII,ea

'suortdo tueruteert cryceds tnoqe suorsrcep e1etu noL dleq o1

'no^( punoJe esoqt ot Jo;1asrno,{ ot JrBJ t{usr tl 'auole ,(11elor rl oP t(uBf, nod 'dleqJles Jo Iro/n prerl eqt sr fuanoie.r rnoL

;o ecerd e8rel e q8noqlly 'd1aq eplstno grPr dleqlas Burueqr8ueusJo enssr eql rq81lq8lq or ur8eq e/K sB rardeqc txau ar{t roj srsBq eqlsB uollBlurolul slqt asn ll,a/fi,

'sreQev grlru ryoA\ oq^\ sleuorsse;ordqrlBeq lBtuelu puB Ietrpotu Jo seuoSetes eql re ,(gauq pelool a/N .tueu

-tBeJt rno,{ ur tuedrclrred elrtf,e ue Sunuof,aq pue leuorsse;ord qrlBeqIBtueIu rnoz{ Sursooqr Jo asuBtrodrur aqt tnoqe peiler er!\ ,g reldeq3 u1

-

'8urqr erues aqr qsrldurof,_-oB uBf, q1 rnoL;o Lllllqrssod eqr qtr^\ Burleaq .lonuof, Burure8 pueSurpuelsPPun ot sroop suado CCV rnod Jo f,rrlear eqt Sundeccv .opueo no[ Surqr ]sJoA\ eqt sr tl qtr/t\ Surleep lou rng iqll^{ IBep o1 rualq-ord reqtoue;o lcedsord eqr te paurleqd\rano IeeJ t(uop noL-edoq a16

'sluePnls PelqeslP Suru:ee1'rap1o

JoJ sef,I^ras uoddns qll/v\ sruerSord IBuoIlrsuBJl pue sarlrsJenrun snorJBAlnoqe uoItBtuJoJuI JelJo suortBzrue8ro eseqJ'qf,Jeasal srgl qsrldluof,f,Bnod dlaq uBf, teqt suoltezlue8ro roJ sef,uara;ar euros pepnl3ur e^Br{ a1X\

rea.' uBf, r'qr e8alloc B pul; 11,noA 'Buruueld pue qf,r'esertfi:: il:i 'ale seJuBqC 'ure8e atnor uortef,npa raq8rq aqr ful ot apllep deur nol,'cl'I puB aclv rno[;o a8pelznoul punoJ^\au rnoi{ qrllN .urB]rB or elqB-un_ uaeq en,no,i. sleo8 leuoltef,npe etBnleneeJ nod dleq uec ,{rrllqeslp

3u1ure_a1 SulLpapun uB Suuenocsrq .stuepnrs lBf,rpeu CII roJ ef,rn

-res troddns rua11ef,xe uB sBq 'acuetsul roJ ,eurclpayrl;o a3e11oc lreu

scoHJat{ cNV SJTNVH3EI{ :AUOr'{Ahl

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s(ll q8noqllv 'Ldereqr ro eurf,rpeu penqtuoc roJ peeu rnol, tnoqe elrl-roddns uer{t ssal are [11ue; pue san8Bellor 'spueu; ]Bqt pur; lq31u no

'rlnrl#lp tsnl sr reeeveqt tet{t Sutrunsse 'op sJeqf,eet puB stuered se dert erues eqt otur IIB}

l,eru lsrdereqt ar{I 'uorlBnper8 preznot sserSord tuarcrilns e{Btu ot tueest(useop rnq dtpleeg [11eruaru ,{1snol^qo s,eqs 'rueued Sursn;uoc d;en

e sI eqs ipeJnf, aq t(uec eqs esnef,eq req ernc ot stJolJe s,tsrdereqt JeqetBrtsn# ill^\ eqs 1ng 'Lro8ater puof,es eqt ur srrJ ar{s 'seurpqesrp rar{ }oaer8ep eqt Jo enuln ̂g illt l,lleruaru z(laranes t(usr eqs esneraq ssaulll

IBtuau eJanes B JoJ tueruteeJt peeu t(useop eqs tng 'fuo8alec tsrrJ eqt urslr; ueruo/v\ eev atp 'surordul[s Jaq Jo eJn]Bu f,ruoJqf, eqr Jo anul^ ,{g

's8uteq uerunr{ ruapuedepul pue alogllrsB uortrunj ot peredard ',{dereqr ruo{ am,po,tS Llpnluana IIIIK stuaued

eseqt r€qt palcedxa sr tl 'sruordul,{s euosreqtoq rreqt }o parnc aq ueroqt\ slueued Jo sanssr qrleaq leuouotue pue letuaru eJenes ssel eql

gtlrn lJo^\ orlA\ esoqt ere LroSetBf, Jer{]o eqt ul 'SunuocqtJoJ aq t(uo/t\a"Lnr B tBr{t erunsse ["qI 'lll dlleluaru Llera^es eq] ]o serrlllqesrp rr

-uorqf, aqt r{tr^\ IBep oq^,\ sleuorsse}ord ere fuo8ateo auo ul 'eJBJ qrleer{Ielueru 1o sauo8etec ureru oAu er{t Jo Jaqtre otur tlJ t(useop eqs 'slBuors-se;ord qrleaq letuaru ot xopered e eq uec dlaq slees oq^{ tlnpe CCV uV

suorldurnssv puu sJeppu-I (saqelnrC fnoqy

'llD iD 4pq4aas ot nnm noC mpatym Jo enssr aqt qtr^{ eldder8 ot peeu 11,no[ 'suottdo lueruteeJt snorJBA Jeprsuoc no,t eJoJeg 'd1".{ cutergcLsd leasot{^\ asoqt ot peqf,Blte eu8rts B llrts sr ereqt 'snralqord

leuortoue puBrlrlear-l lBtueru Sundecce pJell\ot Lem Buol B eruoJ seq /.larcos q8noqllv

dfaH leuolssaloJd uaas 0l uo!s!ra0awpue sJappel'saqrlnJt

9I )rardvHc

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'l,cua8rarue uB ro; dluo pesn eq olr{trlnJf, B-uoseJ lsBI e se .,{deraqroqrdsd ro uortBf,rparu rnof pre8er rteru

no[ 'op stlnpe ACIV l,ueur sy 'd1et1 roJ peeu rnor{ Buuou8r ,eJezn lr sB((lesolc eql ul,, Aets ot pardurar eq Leu nor{ 'eruruellp rueuteaJl er{t puB

suelqord lBuollolue Jo letuetu f,IuoJrlf, ot peqf,Etre eru8rts eql ue^rC

'{'zen ro prdnfs ,l,ze1 sB se^IesJno e^recred ,{lsnoauoueazn 'euo1e lr oB J(uBf, ed\ JI

'llerv\ se suondrunsse drlne; u/v\o Jno aABqsreclov elN 'ot lou Sursoor.ls sr tng-sulalqord aqt auof,re^o ,uoga

luerf,rllns qtr1K (p1noc rere#ns eqr lBqr erunssB daqr ,sprom reqlo q.lrmary lo sasaasrp sB sluelqord leuoltoue ro lelueru ̂\arl aldoed ,iui61

'reprosrp rnodJo ernlBu eqt lnoge suortdrunsse /.l1nBJ ef,BJ or peredard ag

'uorteJrpetu f, rJlelr{cdsdSuto8uo uB eIBl or ,te1o tou s(]r teqt tnq uorsuarredLg JoJ eurf,rparuarnssard poolq Jo selegBlp ro; urlnsur a{e} or ,(e1o s(tr e^erlaq Luery

'uotctdsns qll/t\ PaA\oIA IIIts q eJBf, ruJet 3uo1 'ddereqr culerqcdsO.ur-eiuor{s JoJ paeu eql asuauedxa uBf, euodue reqr paldeoce IIa^{ dFle;

dlEH'rvNorsss{oud )aas oI NorsrcEq aHI aNV suacov-I ,saucrnu3

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tnq tsrl rnod uo lsrderoqt rorleqeq B sr ereqt sdeqrad rO 'tsrl lerreler

rnor{ uo l(ueJe aseqf-,{deraqf a8essetu pue Lderer{t Jorneqeq fng'rsrdereqt e8esseru srq spueruruo3er l,lq8t.{ puel{ CCV rno1 'dnor8 Lde4aqt ror^Br{ag e urol pue ]srnerqo/.sd relnf,rtJed e qrrlr tlnsuoo no/. stse8

-Bns uercrs,iqd JnoI 'rsrSolorloAsd enrtruSof, Jeq Aq sreems Jelsrs JnoA

'uorsrcap rnoL e1eru ot tsrl IBJJajoJ s,dnor8 uoddns rnor(Sursn aq Lpeerle Leur nor{ pue leuorsseJord qrleaq lBtueru rno[ esooqf,ot s,(ezn persaSSns e/4. 'CAV tBert or{A\ sleuorsse}ord qrleer{ Ielueur

pue suercrsLqd;o seuo8elBo peorq o/rr.t eqt tnoqe paIIBr Lpearle aA(eA

ldde.ragl eanerrJaflv Jo r,ueel1surel l :suorsrJeq

'paeu sn Jo Aueu(s)reppel eqt Jo ef,uetdecoe ot Lem enr8 tuaurteerr CCV tnoqe suorl

-drunsse ,b1ne; eqt teqt [ep eqr ol prellrroJ 1ool e71N 'slq] puetsrepun l,erusranerleq-uou'Aeparuos 'sa^rl reneq ot qurlJ uBf, e^\ s8unr eqr sJeJJo

ly 'aurcrperu Jo dderaqr sr tueruleaJt eql rer{rar{l6 'rltlruJ B se lou-reppul e sB dde.raql ro uonetrparu .rnod ̂aara nod JI dleq f{ftur 11

'lranocer rnoA a8eroqes pue Lpres-sef,euun JeJJns IIIA\ noL 'sa188nrls rno,i, dn renoc ol ,trl pue peeu noLqclnrf, eqt trefar no[ rI 'ueqr ]ou 'reproslp eqt qtrA\ ouo eqt ar,no,i,'{llB retjv 'CCV puetsrepun t(uop oq^{ aldoed raqto }o suoltluorupepue ef,rnpB er{t arou81 'speau rno,{ tnoqe suorsrJep tf,eJJoo eqt e{Btuot Jlasrno,{ rsnn 'reprosrp rno,i, ro; dlaq Surlaas gtlrn aldder8 noL sy

'Sutuotlcun;

panordull JoJ pau8rsep sr r{f,BE 'uorsrn anordrur ol sasselS Sursn pue 'uorl-Bf,rpeu 8ur>1er Jo tueruuoJrlue larnb B ur ryozl\ or Surpeeu uael\teg

af,uarel;lp elnrl sr ararlt 'ftllear uI 'srualqo1d plone or tno-dof, B sB pe-pre8ar Jo uorluenJelur lecrpaur,i,ruaBrarua ruJet-uoqs Jeqtre sB pe/v\erlueuo sr eurf,rperu Jo ,(dereqroqcdsd Jo qlrnJf, er{] rBql slBuntJo}un s(tl

2lno-doc e tsnfr{f,]nJf, rnort t(usr 'ralceregf,

IBJoru Jo III/n }o tf,ajoP e sl QCV Jo ualq-ord qlleeq lelueu B Jl puv jre^ero; qf,tnrf, rno/, asn ot Suro8 l,11eer

no,{ ery 'relero} stsel CICV ro rualqord qrleeg letuaru e tng 'eprse

qf,]nJf, rno,{ ssot ot elqB eq 11,noL PuB IBeq lllm 3a1 rno,{ 'sqtuoru /!\eJ eulqtl/n rBqr A\ouT no1 'uoddns ro; qf,]ruf, B esn no,{ '3a1 rno[ {Berq noL;1

I/AZVU3 UO ArdruS'XZVI rON h{,1 NVEy\ nOtr

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'Lroaqr pardaccesrqr ot Arenuoc peJeprsuoJ sBA\ rlnpe Jo tuef,selope uE JoJ urlelg Jo

uortducserd e 'erun 3uo1 B JoC 'uoJpllrll uo tf,alle leJrxopered s,urletrgtnoqe [roaqr pleq ,ileppr ]nq 'uenordun aqt sB^\ srqt ]o eldruexa uy

'letueuuadxe IIIts eJB legl 'esues e ur ]nB 'esn

]o srea,{ q8norqr perdeocearuof,eq e^Br{ pue d-roaqt uo peseg ere Laql 'qf,reesar q8norqr elu3a#euenord uaeq sesef, IIe ut t(uener{ serdereqt ureeJtsureru patdecce-Buo1'leuorluenuoO'enJl Lluesseoeu l(usr slr{I'sluarurJadxa leuoDuenuoJ

-un (a8y noalq pue suortdo luaurteeJt uenord 'peqoreeseJ IIe/t\ ueeA\toq

uouJuuslp reall e dldrur sleqel ,{dereqr enrtetuetle puB ruBarlsureu eqJ

'Ldereqr jo suonerlJlsselo olv\t oqt SurpunoJJns senssr eqt JaprsuoJ s(tel'rer1l plBS 3ul^e11 'serderer{r ruearlsureu per{srlqerse-llerv\ eqr o8roy or

nol, Sur8eJnocua eA\ eJB JoN ',(dereqr enrteuretle J€lnf,lrred l,ue;o stueu-oddo Jou stueuodord Jeqtreu eJB enr ter{t ezrseqdrue ot tuen\ osle e/N

'lsrl IBJJOJOT rnor{ uo petsrl eq l(uoA\ Llqeqord

reqr stueruteeJl Jeqto eJE eJeqt teqt eJeA\B eq ot noL tuem ellr esnec-aq uorssnf,srP sn{] PePnlf,ur e^(a1x\ 'suorldo rno tnogB PeurroJur eq ol

sBrI sn Jo qcee 'secroqc eIeru ot teqt o^erlaq am 'puocas 'sellasJno JoJsecror{f, e{Blu or tq8u eqt e^Bq IIB e/!\ 'sllnpe sB leqt eAeIIeq em 'tsrtg

iuorssnrsrp srqt pepnpq e^\ e^Bq d.l^ og 'Ldereqt a^ueruetle

Jo sllelrld eqr tnoqe erntf,el B puB [erusrp g]lrn tsrdereqt a8esseur e ol

IBJJoIoJ B JoJ tsenber rno,t taar8 rq8rru uerorsLqd rnotr 'suondo tueru-tBeJl se ruer{t tsa8Sns ro steuet Jleqt uoddns mag 'Lddequn sleuorssa;ord

qtleaq leluaru oruos Surleru Jo {srr erp uru e^r uorssncsrp slqt q serde-raqt enrleurerp Surpnlf,ur uI 'surelqord qlleeq letueru roj stueuteerlprepuets sB perel;o t(uere salde.raql earlelrJalle elq/t\ sleuorssa;ord

qtlBeq lBtuelu ,iq paldessB IIe^\ L11eraue8 are salde.reql tuea.IlsulBnl

'tueqt Jo euo fur or esooqc no,i;l tcedxa ot tBr{/r\

/r\ou{ 11,nod os IBreAes;o saldrcuud eql eulluBxe II(aA\'11 rerdeqc ulueqJ'sef,uerelJlp crseq rraql PuersrePun 11,nort os sardersqt enrlBruallBpuB rueeJtsureru Jo A\erAJeAo uB aplnord II,ea

(uonoes 3ur,lo11o; aqt ul

'uortdo tueruteeJt ruBeJtsureru 'prepuels B tou tderagt antt-Burelle uB sr Ldereqr a8esseru esnBf,eq IIB rB lsrl rnod uo J(usr rsrderaqre8esseru aql 'peref,rpul l(usr drlenads rer{ asneleg rl A\ou{ l,uop no,t

d'r1H'rvNorssecoud ):rES oJ NorsrJEC 3HJ aNV susacrvl 'saHJrnuc

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e^rlBrtrellB ssolqtJoA\ B tr PeJaPISuoc ogry\ tueurqsrlqBtse lBf,rpeur aqlLg perou8t a9 ot pesn ,,8ur1eaq qtlBj,,;o eapl aqt eruelsur roC 'ecrtcerd

grlrr Qn ly?nw t(useq [1durs qf,Jeaser seruneruos 'sselquo^\ lueulearlB e{Bru l(useoP B]BP qsJeasal }o ]f,BI y 'fuerrlqJB ter{/!\euros serurteruos

sr ,(dereqt ellteurefle pue rueertsurelu ueemfeg aurl Surpl^lp slql

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operu srotcerdorrqf, slurell aql trperf,srp ot palueq uorterf,ossv IBrrpeJAiue)rJeurv eqr 'ranamoq 'sleau( JoC 'sJotcerdolql ^q pateaJt L11ryssec

-f,ns ueeq e^Bq sruelqord elosnru pue turol '1oeq snorJBA y]lrn sluerted,(ueru 'eldruexa rog 'sardeJaqt elueuJetle pellef,.os eqt Suruunqs l,11ecr

-ro8eter Joj pazrf,ltrJf, ueeq eABq sarderegt rueeJtsureru Jo stueuodor4

'enrt eq or r1 Surplog lltrr [ueu g]l,n qrBep /hols e elpot senurtuor .{'roaqr eql 'sJeurnsuof, pue sleuorssaJord auros }o sputtuaql ur parlsrlqBtse IIe^,\ dple; eq or senurtuoo tr ',i;oeqt slqt papref,srp

e^Bq sleuorsselord peuuolul CCV [ueur q8noqrly ',{puecar l,p1e; IlrunPeqruarlua ,{FurrJ sBA\ urlBtlu }o r3e#e lBsrxopBred arp ;o fuoeqr eql

're Surlool ere^\l,eqt ruoldru,i.s dluo eqt sB^/\ teqt 'erurJ eqr tV 'stuerted tuaf,selope

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plo puB ,trraqnd uee^rteq uotutuoJun eJE s8nrp Jo st3e#e IBf,rxopBJBd

'trelJe lecrxopered

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jo tueudolanap pue r{rreeser panuuuof, e8ernooue III^\ ll e^arleq e^4A.'tueruanoru srqt etuof,le^r em 'srerunsuoJ qtleeq lef,rpau pue letuaru sV

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'serdereqt elueuJelle Sursurord lsoruaqr 'ipnrs ot rea/, txeu uorteudordde leuorsser8uo3 rBIIop uorllnu ozl\le esn IIIIt\ ' sarwn"Ld lDrryarylvuonuaftunun lo Kpn6 ayt tol n{lo slqJ'qrlBeH

Jo salnlllsul IBuolrBN eql ulgrln\ PauroJ uaeq sBq erIIIo /Keue (tuaruuJeno8

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or ur8aq lllzlt ruaruqsllqerse lef,rpau aqr teqt pauodar tI 'tuerudolenep

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tueruqsrlqetsa ruBeJtsureu eqt ulr{tl1v\ aoeld 8ur1er sr suos }o uortnloner

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Jo suortef,l;rsself, fuertrqre ]Bq \auos er{r uo tcedrur ue Surneq aJB sarde-roqt IIoJ snorJB^ Jo sseuennce#e eqt;o suoder letopceue petuerunf,oq

'ploru e 'tce; ul sl qrlql\ urllroruad Surqucsard erazn ,ieqt 't1 moul r,uplpsraprlord erec qtleaq dpee eseqt g8noqllv 'eler s(elrln p1o ue rsnl

t(use,t. sacnlnod Jo esn eqt teqt pezrlBeJ slsrtuarf,s 'urlpcruad;o fuanoosrpeqr qll/N 'spuno^r Suuelse; teert ot serrtlnod pearq [p1oru posn per{

suetcts,i,qd 'seunluef, JoC 'srsBq JlJltuelf,s e aABq serpeueJ IIoj ue'rord-un 'p1o Lueru ter{r perelocslp seq ef,uerf,s rueporu uorqseJ rellruls ul

'urats'i.s eununur s,[poq aqr Suusooq ur adog puB r{tre} }osalqr8uetur eqt Jo sseue^rrf,alJe eqr petertsuoruap rer{r ef,ueprne ragre8padlaq ,rsursnoC ueruroN elll sreeuord ( i) ploqaq pue ol tng '[dereqr

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aq t(uec [eqt 'sJamsue peredard eq] qttBtu t(uop saf,uarJedxe srq JI 'ra

-qf,JeoseJ aql Lq paredard sJe^\sue Suoue esoor.{f, ot tury ecJo; 4".['aIBtuuec tcalqns qJreesar B sasuodser eq] rlrull CCV tnoqe uorteurro;ur ,{r1r-uenb ot pesn seJrBuuolrsenb paJntf,nns pue anrlcelqo erp 'alduBxe JoC

'sJelunsuof, sE sn JoJ uorsnluof, selBeJc lBr{l uouBruJoJur elBJnf,cBur puBerelduocul aq uBf, tlnseJ eqJ luaruele ueunq eqt tno a^Bel uec Sane^\oqtpl8U oot t{f,Bordde sqt Surmollo{ 's8urpur; aqr Suruotsrp ruog uorurdo

pue serq reqf,reesal tuenerd ol tueuodrul sl ,blnlrcafqo,o tauet slql'uorurdo

leuosrad ro serq enrurunu or peu8rsep sl rlf,reasar pepury qJnlAI'Jorner{eq ueunq }o acuesse eqt arntdec ,{lpesseceu t(uop teqt seJnseetu

anrlcelqo uo peseg s,]t '[11ereuaC 'suor]Btrlurl tueJagul ser{ qf,Jeeseg

'fa,{ euop ueeqt(useq Lldtuts r{f,rBeseJ eqt teqt aq Leru rl 'ssalqtJo^\ sr lderaqr JBInJrt-red e reqr ueoru t(useop stl;eueq parrodrnd Suruoddns erep ro r{f,Jees

-er Jo IoBI e 'regtrnC 'etuortno eqt tleJJe qroq slcelqns uerunq;o Ll1-xaldruor aqt pue s^\Bl' u8rseq 'reqtre (loot rceyad B t(usr ll puv 'a8pe1

-d\ou{ eseeJf,ur ot 'euo elgenlenur uB treqle 'loot e /,1uo sr qf,JeeseJ'pt"r{ reqlo eqr uO '$lsrr [ueur oo] seTet oq^\ Ieuorsse;ord e Jo spueq

eqt ut peceld '8td eeutn8 e eq ot slue,t. euo oN'uatur8ar tueruteeJlB uI uoItnBJ JoJ aleuolter luetrodrur uB sr eJeql itueurqsllqetse f,rJrr

-uerf,s er{r Jo tuerua8eredsrp e -,,usl snlt tBqt ppe ot uatseq ot tuelr\ e1X\

'rueqr Suuoldxa ruor; no[epensslp pue serdeJeqt elrteulatle sJeplsuoc eq suoudo pueruuof,eJ tourq8tu IeuoISSeJord qrleer{ Ietuoru Jo uerJrsrtqd rnotr 'sseuenule}Je rrar{l

Surpre8al enleceJ no[ uor]euJoJur eqr pue pBaJ no,{ strodar crytuelcsezr{1eue ol no[ e8ernocua oA4. 'suor]do lueurleeJl snorJBA A\erAeJ nol, sys8ulpuld r1rrueseg Jo suops:Uur1 pue anFA aqt lnoqv pro/t\ V

Buole pesn eq uBf, r'qr sruerureelr rnoqB dh't,|ilffiffil;'ilfrrq8tu sarderaqt eAItBrLrerlB Jo uoneunuexe f,rJltuerf,s V

'ueJpllr{c tuogrueJe#lp ere sanssr Jno teqt ur letuaruuedxe leq^\eruos sr srlnpe eCVJoj tueruteoJl teqt st tutod rng 'fueloceJ rno[ o] elrlJnpordralunoc

pue rred rno uo elqlsuodserrr eq plnon\ tBr{I 'lueuneeJt elrteuJatlBuI eJnJ leor8eru E JoJ lsanb e ur /,deJaqt pJepuets erou8r sJepBaJ Jno

;o Lue teqr SurrsaSSns J(uore e71A, 'CCV qll^r srlnpe ro; serderar{t In}asn

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s^rl ot atBuntroJ er(no^ sselun 'reqtrng 't(uo/!\ etuos pue 1n;dleq eq III/\{Adereqr;o sadlr eruos 'suoudo rno,{ atenlene ot uec no,{ se senlf, [ueur

sB roJ qrrBes 2,{lereudorddeur paqlDsard ro Alruercr;;nsur parotruourtl sBlx\ ipaPuaunuorer dllecrd,tr ]Bq] ueql reA\ol ro qStq ool esoP etllsB/S, 'acueuedxa peq erues eqt aABr{ 11,noL ter{t erunsse t(uop-)uolt\

l,uPIP rr ,{qm lno PUI} PUB e^Ilf,eleP B eg 'slr3#e OPIS luBsealdun PesnBf,Jo {Jo^\ t,uplp uoltef,Iperu Jer{ reqt uodar tq8lu puelu e 'eouetsul JoC

'tuaruteeJt Jelncrtred e tnoqe seop ags lezn eq] sleeJ ef,Jnos rnod [.{^lno purc 'lenpl^lpur ot IBnPI^lPu ruou serJEA stuerulBeJ] Jo sseua^l]

-laJJe aqJ 'a1q1ssod sB sef,Jnos ,{ueru sE uo [1er or peeu no[-op ](uo^\serJots leuosrad ozr\t ro euo lsnf 'sJaCCV Jerlto ]o sof,uetredxa eql

ruog uon€ruJoJur qtrl\ etep qf,reesal eqt of,ueleq 'secrnJas leuolssa;ord

elqBIrB^B;o [eue Suuepllznaq eq] Suorue ,{en rno[ puIJ o] [rr no/. sV

'sreprnord erec qtlBer{ letueru pue leorperu lBnpl^lpul }o ecuelradxe puee8palmoul er.{t ur tsrxe sef,uare#lp tuBf,IJru8ts 'uorlrppe ul 'sreCCV

IIB roJ tuaruteen Jo poqteru reln8urs ou sr ereqt 'san1c srejJo tlf,reas-er q8noqrlv 'ratunsuol qrleer{ Ietueru InJerBf, e Suraq Jo ecuelrodrut

aqt ero3srapun ot sl ASolopoqteu r{rrBasar }o lanrns slr{] Jo lutod eql.ra8uue;41 eseC uA{O Jno eruoteg

'peqoJeeser Llelenbepe ueeq e^Eg tou,{eru tl rer{t puetsJepunno1't :1ryrureq t(usr tueuteeJr ar{J'Z ltuaunBeJl pJepuers rno/.

JoJ etntltsqns B tou 'ot uontpp€ uB sB lI esn no1'1 'Sutunsse 'l'deragr

uanordun [ue fut or elgB eg plnoqs no1 'Jele/t\oq ']uaruatets srrll ]o stea-ef, tuetJodrur IBJeAes eJB eJeql',(deraqt uenoJdun [ue Lrl ol elqe eq

plnoqs no[ 'r1npe uB sB teq] sr uoltlsod rng 's^tolle {ooq slqt ur eceds se

suoudo lueru sB ro noz{ ruro;ur o] ,{rrpqrsuodser B IeeJ 'renemorl 'op

"lA. 'uoddns [aqr serderaq] rueensuletu eqt pue s8urpug qcreeser Jo anle^er{t ssnusrp eA\ reqt uorssardur eqt gtlrn nol eneel o] tue/r\ t(uop e716

'seruerredxe lenpi^lPq grlrn uollBluroJul e^llcalqo

ecuBIBq ot spoqteru qtoq esn plnoqs r{f,reeser t11eep1 $lluenb ol tlnf,I-;;1p sr uorteruJolq enucalqns asnef,eq teruJo, eJrBuuonsenb B esn teqlselpnts uBqt ueuo ssel pepunJ osle sI r{oreeser }o ad,{r qql 'Sutrunsuoc-erurt pue Lpsoc sr lng CCV Jo sf,ItueuLp aql Surpuelsrepun roJ InJesnsl slql 'sef,uerredxa srq seJer{s rcelqns eq] qJlr{/v\ ul teruroJ /r\elnretul

ue Lq parntdec renaq aq UBJ etuauadxa lenpl^lpul jo sseuqrlr eqJ

'stlnser qJrBesar IBul, eql ol ur PerolsEj

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'enllf,npordretunoc st '{deragtorlcikd }o spur{ IBreAes olur ,(lsnoeuetlnurs3ur8un14 'tueulteert rno[ ]noqe suorsrf,ep eIeru no[ se sseqdruaeJ ]uBJ

-rem l{aq1 '{ooq srqr rnoq8norr{] SururemJo spro^\ eser{r uenrJ^\ e^eq a/N$ptqndurl rno qrle/K

'luarulBeJl

InJuJeq ue^e ro /,ressaf,euun uB pronB no^ dleq lllm raunsuof, paurroJ-ur uB Surag 'eJBc rno,{ Jo stueruele eleurpJooc ot drt pue dlaq ep}stno

Iees no[ aro;eq Jlasrnod e]ecnpe dlq8noroqt nol. rer{r pueruruorer erN'ra8eueru asef, uA\o rno,( sB uouf,unJ or eABq 11.nol, rlnpe CICV uB sV

'surelqord aranas ssel qt1n{ asoqt ro} alqBIIBABun ̂(11ereue8eJB Sef,IAJOS eser{J'eldoed fll Llpluaru,{laranes qtr/v\ dluo {ro/v\,{lpcrdr{rsra8eueru asec 'Llaleunuolun 'sleuorsse;ord eJolu Jo auo Hllrn erec rnoL

eleulProof, pue peeu nol, sactmes aqt pury noL dl",{ plnof, orl^a re8eueruesBf, B eq plno^r 8ulqr tseq lxeu arlt 'crurll

ccv uB lnoqtra\ 'petueuSer;

puB pezrlercads erB sef,rnres erBf, rlllBeq asnBreq {sBt alqBplruro; B 39uBf, sIqI 'ue1d tuatuteart e SurtelntuJoJ ot setuof, tl ueqlr un\o rno,{. uol,1a8re1 eq 11.no[

'CCV ur sezrlercads ]Br{t crurlr poo8 B qtrt\ BerB uE ur

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ireueq Ieej euo^uB e{Bru or PePuatur t(us€/r\lBql ernrral ro 8u{ueds e }o turo} eqt >1001 PUB ror^Bqeqsrru Pa/y\olloj

auntpalil sn{r Jo uoneJtsrurupe eql '((aurf,rperu rnoA e{81,, ol tuoru-qsruorupe tueseeld ssal B peu^\Bds o8e sreed;o s8mp Surtset-1noJ eql

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e{Bt ot ueJpllqc e8ernof,ue oT 'sruotdurl,s alqetJoJr.uof,un Jreqt e^erl-eJ ot eurJrpeu e>lBt l,pa8ee aldoad lueu 'sseulll;o u8rs tsrrJ eqt ]V

'eArsBAJed sr arnc lcrnb B jo uortou aql'8uue;;ns d8ralle ruou sn aeg Jo ssol rq8razn aznurxeru 'srane; ef,npeJ

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((eurJrpal I Jnotr e{e'L''

'esnge ef,uelsqns lertuetod tnoqeuJecuoc eqt pue uerut8er tuaruteaJt aqt ur eurJrpeu ro uorsnlJuragr Sutpre8ar stutod,rern 8un:llJuoc '8ur1eru-uorsrJap ur uorted

-tcttred oAIIJB Jo senssl eql Jeplsuof, II(el\ 'uouoes slqt ul 'uoISIJep

u/r\o rnol, e{Blu nol, dleq ol tuBA\ eA\ AroN 'uorlrsod Jno s(tBr{t 'os

'aurf,rpeu Jo strJeuag SurzrllQers eqt tnoqtrzn serderaqt rarlto

;o a8erue^pe e{Bt or tlnf,rJJlp ueuo s(tr (uorurdo rno ul 'srlnpe CCV

Jo sef,ueuadxa leuosrad er{t ur pue r{f,JeeseJ ur ssef,3ns Jo pJof,eJ >lf,BJluanord B ser1 r1 'uorrdo uB sB tueruteau Snrp pJepuBrs Japrsuof, tsBelrB plnoqs nol, '11e-arnc eqr Jo qf,reas ur at4unf {"Qn"tarp e eruof,eq nod

eroleq rer{r o^erleq qN\ 'Iqqt a^\ teq^{ noL llar or Suro8 er(e^\ 's,rnoii,

,i.lareulrln $ uorqlep aqr q8noqtlv 'lle rB eurf,rpeu esn ot uorsrrep er{lSurleur tnoqe s,l1 's8n:p cgycads tnoqe l(usr eurorpeu Jo uorssnlsrp srr{J

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oulslPelu rBr{l a^arleq oq^A esoqt erB druBf, atrsoddo eqr ul 'sJeurnsuof,

i(q pacerque eq plnoqs teqt q8norqrlearq reer8 B sr uorterrpatu rotuetutealt A\eu due reqr enerlaq eruos 'suortrsod aruartxe JeqtBJ otur

pazuelod sdnor8 pue slenpl^lpur aruos grlrn sasBrq JBInf,nrEd leqr e^equoltBluJolul Jo sef,Jnos snorJen 'uortenbe trJeueqA.tr aqt lno Suruos

,{q ruarua8eueu lef,Ipeur rno,{ ur eloJ anrtf,B uB a{Bt no,{ a8ernoJua e/N

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'lorluosJles Jo ssol ro loJ]uoc puFu

gtlrtt pawJrpaur aq oi spro/v\ eqt etenbe sraqqv eruos 'A11eury puv 'tuetu-tBert ur eurf,rpeu Jo elor er{t tnoqe alqea8pel^\ou{ sr pue reprosrp rer.l Jo[rll""t aqr perder3e seq reCCV eqr reqr sesoddnsard parecrpau eq o]ef,Iotlf, e 'qlrnog 'ernf,

lcrnb B tou qrl tnq sruoldruds Sur8euBtu ur slJos Jouortnlos B sr tl 'prlgJ 'stf,a#a epls ulyroulun pue u/t\oul lerruerod;o s{srr

tnoqtrzlr t(usr rnq sselured [1anr]BIaJ sr tr 'puooes 'slenpl^lpu atuos rcI

PUB satut4outos-e^Itf,alJe sl CCV,o tuaruteart er{t ur aurJrperu 'tslg

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. -rurls Jo asn eql 'llJeru tnor{trlll eJB eruos pue pllel eJE eruos 'uortdo

lueutBen B se eurf,rpeu Sursoddo JoJ suoseal Jo ,bauen B enerl a1doe4esnqv ecuelsqns Jo anssl eql :pelerlpal ["'eg ol loN .ro 'ag oa

'tuerulBeJt stl PUB JaPJosrP srql lnoqBsqrLru ledsrp ot Ltyllqlsuodsar rno Jo ereA\B [1uea1 ere tnq ACV rnor{

ro; Ja^rsue eqt sB eurf,rparu Surloruord tou eJ(a/)N 'Iooq srqt jo rerderlctsrrJ er{t pBaJeJ ,ilqeqord plnoqs no/, 'sror^eqeq petuB^\un luerrerd ol

;lasrnoL Bunupas rc ?utffinry Io lq8noql eqt qtr^\ elqeuoluof,un ar,no^(asnBf,aq luarutBerl rnor{;o rred sB aurf,rperu esn ot tuBlJnlar ar,noL;1

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'esnqe ef,uetsqns pue reprosrp aql uee^\req Iutl crlaue8

" 91 ,teur areqt reqt stsaSSns slql 'uoursodsrpard cuaue8 alqrssod B uo,{l8ursearcur Sursnf,oJ pue Suro8uo sr esnqe ef,uelsqns pue ru$lorloJlBur qf,rBaser 'lsJlg 'sSurpur; sseqt lnoqB sasegloddq lerenes eJB ereqJ

er'loqof,lB,(lqyssod pue s8nrp Jo asn peseercur uB eABr{ ot sreCCV roJ puerl luelsrs

-uoo tnq tq311s e sB^4, aJeqt tena,ropl .sdnor8 o^\t eqt uaeluaq af,ue-reJJIP ruecgruSrs ,illecrtsrtels B punoJ l(useq uortelndod lerauaS eqr;orEr{r Yrln sllnpB clcv uI esnqB puB asn ef,uBlsqns Suuedruof, qrrBeseu

,,lsraad CCV-uou Jrer{l uBqr suortef,-lparu tuBlnurls esnqB ol L1a1l1 eJotu sJeccv enrslndrul aJV,, .uorlsenb

puoces B ol esrJ sanrS uousanb slqJ ((io^rlf,lppB sruelnturts l(ueJv,, 'uago sr reccv pasouSelp [1meu B ̂q pesod suor]senb rsJI; eqr Jo euo

's3rup leeJts sB pesn eq uec pue BrJoqdne;o s8urleal ernpord uec daqt asnef,eq VOC erp l,q pollortuoc Llr5urs

ilIZVuS uo ardrus'LZv'woN r^r.l NVal\ no^

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,,Ser\.,, puB :(lou eq^B]AL, ',,eqLey4,,'eJe suorlsenb asaqf ol sJeA\suB oqJjsef,uetsqns Suuatle punu IIB ruoU ef,ueuusqe Ietot puauuof,al srueJSordesnqe ef,uetsqns t(uoq iuortsanb aqr Jo tno stuelnruns teqt arunsse no,i,

plnoqs 'rasnqe aJuelsqns Jo f,rloqoJle Sutranocal e aJE nol,;1 isJesnqBaJuetsqns /,pear1e ere oqA\ sreCCV Lq pasn aq l,aqt uBf, 'aurf,rpeu

elnetuenerd aq'tuatxe uretJef, e ot 'uef, stuelnruDs leql Sutrunssy

'sJesnqe-of, Jo acuetdecf,B snorqnp eqt 8ur>1ees ol

Surtroser tnoqtr^\ ssof,Jns purJ ueJ or{S 'reCCIV uB roJ ernlleJ;o elcLceqr dors ueuo ''cJe '{slll{s

lerf,os 'uouezrue8ro 'uortuene

Jo sruordruAseqt ur stueruelordrur leraue8 eql 'l^11eurC 'esnqe ot pBel uec teqt s8ur

-Aerf, aqt Jo aruos Ionuof, osle suoueJrpeu eql 's8nrp ro loqof,le esnqeol saslndur raq Iortuor req dlaq plnof, rlnpe CICV uB jo ,{ltntqndrureqt uo suouBf,rpeu Jo tcedurr enrtrsod eqt tBr{t arunssB ot leorSol s,tl

'brIqerlesutpue &rnrslndrur;o sruordru^(s eqr uo stf,a#B Jreqt ur enltetuanerd peJep

-rsuoc eq uBf, Laql 'pr".{ raqto eql uO 'eurclperu elltetuenerd parap-rsuoJ [11ecrrsr1eeJ eq ](uec stuelnrults 'esnqB ecuBtsgns ot uotttsodstp-ard cuaua8 e paapur sr eJaqt JI

'suelqord SuolaJll asnef, uec sruoldtu'(sasoqt ot sreqto Jo suoureer eqt pue CICV yo surotdru[s egr ]Bqr srepeer

Jno ot uortBle^eJ ou s(ll :auI'IPaw eltrlulue^a.Id se sluBlnl'tlps

's8mp asnqe ot ISrJ tB eq paepur z{eu 'uoneorperu uo uene pelloJtuol

IIe^{ t(usr ,blnlslndur esoq.^a sJeccv eluos 'esnqB ef,uBlsqns ot atnqlJl-uo3 uE3 uouBJrPelu tuelnturls tBqt Je^eosleq1Y\ {srJ ou sI eJeql lBt{lSurrsa8Sns t(ueJe eA{ lBql azrsegdure ot luBA\ ezn 'srqt Japrsuof, e/!r sV

/r'etBlnluncf,B eII Jo sesseJtseqt sB aseerf,ur /.eu {srJ er{t terlt persaSSns ueeq sBq tl 'gf,reeser tuelf,I}

Jnsur ot enP uA\oulun sr PIo sree,{ of Ja^o sraccv uI esnqB ef,uBlsqns

Jo ISrr aqt 'raqlrng 'Surlou r{trozr\ sI stlnpe CCIV ro, ISIr peseerf,ulLllq8rls B uele pue ruelqord roleru e sr uor]elndod lereua8 aql ur asnqe

ef,uetsqns 'ssnosrp or q8noua tuelrodun s,tl 'tueJllluSls [llecrrsrretsl(use^\ sreCCV ur esnqe af,uetsqns pesBerf,ul Jo Surpur; aql q8noqtlv

'selBts IBl

-ueru peJetle otur Surdecse Lq reeddesrp LrrleeJ Jreqt eTeur [aql 'peets

-uI 'rl gtl,n Surdoc Jo suBelu ou eABq PUB reProslP rraqt;o Surpuers

d]1H IVNOTSSECOUd )EES OI NOTST3ECI EHI ANV SUEACV-I 'SlHCrnUC

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'arnr e,o esruord parldurr uB gtlrn tl peralro e^Bq ro CICV roJ eurf,rpaurpeqrJsserd AlereururJf,srpur aABq suercrsLqd tsoru tBqt e^erleq ](uop ea\

'suouuo^Jstur Jeqlo Jo uorsnlf,xe aqlol petoruord ro stsou8etp InJeJBf, B lnoqtrn\ uenr8 ueeq seurtouros e^Bq

suolteJlpeur otll'peqlJf,sard rilssaleJeo Sureq ;o l;olsrq eteunlJojunue seq eurf,rpatLesnqB ef,uBtsqns Jo suelqord egt puB tuerue8euBur

uoltef,Iperu sselaJBf, Jo sseueJ€A\B Jeurnsuoc Surnor8 tuor; peAIoAe sBqJBInf,IuBd ut sluelnults pue IBJauaB ur esn eurf,lperu tnoge uJeJuoC

luerulea{ uI reuged B ss qof moa

'suorsrJep ssaleJBJ qlr/h asruordruof, ot lueuodturool sr esnqB eruBlsqns reqlo luoU lJenocer ro dlauqos JnoI .ueqt qrl^,\IBaP ot ,{ezn rseq eqt aulruretop pue sualqord enbrun rno[ eroldxa uec

no[ reqre8ol 'CCV Jo plelJ eq] ur osle tnq esnqB eruBtsqns Jo BerB eql

ur tredxe uB dluo tou sr oqrv\ euoeuros grlm >lro^\ tsnlu notr ls8ntp 1n&a111to uonncryau-lps q?notyl Wmt urno "rnoK oiur sr,anDlu alm i(uop noi wtll

@,nnarnoy.sl1I.]uolu]BeJ]eSnqBef,uE]SqnSPJBPuBrsq3norqrPere^of,er t(usBq or{^\ reccv uB r{tr/K pesn '(11eraua3 sr qceordde qql

'esnqB ef,uBtsqns,o senssl aqr gr},n IBsp [aqr eroJag sruoldruLs ocv eqrleeJt ot sluelntults asn (lsnonnDJ sarurteuros peJJeJuof, aA(eA\ tuoqlr\ ytlrnslBuorssejord etuos tBqt nod 11er uBf, e^\ tnq esruedxe Jo pleu Jno t(usr

slql 'uorurdo lradxe uB sB uenr8 t(usr 'tou aq,{Bru-Jel\sue aqf .esnqeeJuBtsqns Jo lor{of,lB ruou SuuanoreJ sr or{A\ Jaccv uB JoJ uorlsanb eql

Jo tno arB stuelnturts reqter{A\ Jo uousanb arp ol TrBq sn sBuuq slql

'sllnPB ccvetuos Jo esoql elqueser Iunrp fup aqr Jo sror^Br{eq eql lBr{t >lurqr e^\1nq 'uoruesse rno uoddns ot BlBp r{JJBesaJ [ue aneq ](uop a46 .ri11rue;

req r.uou u^\Brpqtrd\ puB peredtuet-toq 'elqeturr surBtuer tnq Surlulrpsdots ot{^\ clloqoclB uB sI Iunrc Lrq er11 'rusrlogof,le uo ernteratrleqt trt peqlnsep slunre fug eqr euooeq leru ,beuqos urB]urBtu ol

e8eueru op or{/v\ esoql 'aJII s,lBnpl^lpur ar{t ur f,o^Brl {eer^\ ot senurl-uor reprosrp lecrSolorneu 8ur,{lrepun eqt esneseq pe^rl-troqs eq Leru,beuqos 'parou8r ere senssl CeV eqr JI

'poqteru srrlt ot cr3o1 sr ereqJ'senssr

CCV eqt uo lro/r\ Aaqr @lD llrun lusrlorlof,lB ar{r gtl,n IEep t(uopI'aqt ter{t troder sf,Iloqof,le CCIV grlart lrolr\ oqrv\ slBuorssoJord eurog

IIIZVUC UO Ardnrs ',LZV'l rON h{,1 NVEI nOI

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ot ruaes t(usaop eurJrpeu rno^ JI 'stleJle epls ,i,ue pue sserSord rnoL;o

peuroJur rotf,op rno/, Surdaal sepnlf,ur tueruteert ur reutred e se qof JnoI

'euo A\au B pulj 'Suuotruoru Suto8uotnorltr^\ pue tq8norlteroJ alrrll gtlm eurcrpeu seqrrrsard uercrs,{qd rnol,

jI 'ssef,ord 8ur>1eru-uorsrf,ep eqt;o rred eq ot uorre8rlqo uB pue rg8trE a^Bq no1 'tuerred aqr ot suorsrf,ep Jreq],o srseq eqt ateolunruuloJ

dlenrrcege sAenle t(uop suorsrf,ep IBf,Ipeu punos e>leru ot{A\ sUBIO-rsLtld tuatadruof, ueng 'tl tnoqB Jeq {sB

'autctparu peglJf,serd rno,{jo uortBnbe tgauaq/1su aqr Jo no/. uuo;ul t(useop uetcts,{qd rno.( 11

'uorsrcaP PeuJolur ue o]Bru

ot uouenba tr;euaqftsu aqr Sursn pue Sutpuelsrepun roJ lrlltqtsuodsareiet pue qf,Bordde JBInuls B elunssB tsnru no1 'slrleuaq pue $lsIJ eql

sg8razn sl,emle aqs-8rup Lue saqrJf,seJd Llssalareo Jeleu uerctsl,qd lueled-ruof, V itlegag pue tcy '1urqa 'dorg 'suorlsanb 8ur1se tnoqtl^\ euIO-lpau 8ur1er Aq arec qrleeq rnod ol qf,eordde enrssed e 8ut1er er,nol,;1

'uorletnder peq 'penresapun uB CICV totuerutBerl lecrSolof,BruJBrld eql uanr8 e^Bq os auop e^Eq oql\ esoql tng

dlEH'rvNorssecoud )1as oI Norsrclo 3HJ aNV suscavl 'saHcrnuc

Page 337: You Mean I m Not Crazy

OZ€.t(ue^Bq I itBera^o ol ^f,uepuet [ur rsol e^(l-lBrf,rJaueq pulJ I ]Br{t auotdacxa stf,e3$e eprs,i.ue pesnef, l(useq rBZoJd aql 'ete^ala ol ue8aq arns-serd poolq Lru ueqzn padolenap toe#a eprs snolJes erour V

'slee/K ̂\ejB reuB pareeddesrp llelJe eprs eqt tng qtnou [rp B ̂g peraq]og sB/r\ I

'urlBtru {oo1 rsrrJ I ueq/a, 'stf,e#a epls aluos a^Bq op saurf,lpeu esar{I

'peralocsrp e^Bq I pue rotf,op du;ar1ar ruotdru,{s rseqaql sI o1!u eql jo uollewqluof, eql '[ep aql rnoq8norq] srsBl tBql tf,e]JeSurrulec B saprnord '8nrp Surrsel 3uo1 e 'cezor4 eql 'paraduret.troqs ro

elgBtrrrr r.u(l uaq^\ [ep aqr Jo sporred lerenes gllrn etu se^Bel puB 3uo1tsBI t(useop ll 'ue^eun erB stselle str 'lerf,rJeueq sr urlBlru qSnoqlly

'leei uele ue uo aur sdael pue rerulec aru sa1eru tl .[rlnlslndrur

puB sseulpooru dru dleg saop 1l lnq raDeg ruro;-rad ro lurqt eru dleqt(useop f,Bzord eqJ's8utqr reqto Suoure '{qllls uortezrue8ro,(ru senord

-tur puB EurruBts lBtualu /,u sasealcur 'ateJtuef,uof, aru sdlaq urlBtlu aqJ'sruotdurl,s ruera;;lp elarlal ot tueas deqr esneJeq seur3rpatu ol\t eIBr I

'Lep e saluu eeJrlt ,urlerrg yosuer8rlpu 0I pue,iep e ef,uo f,ezord;o surerBIIIIru OZ q uaur8er dltep

Lyrl 'stlnsar eqt Hrlrn paseeld luB tng etu roJ 1ro^\ plno/v\ tBqt s8mp;ouorleurgurof, eqt puE esop radord aqt Surpurj eturt eluos pueds or pBqI

'e^rlrsod ueag eABq uortBf,rpau qlrd\ seJuerJedxa leuosred ,{yq,, 3XX

'uorlBruJoJur IEnlf,BJ uo

Paseq uolslf,ap peurJoJur uB eIBru ol noL a8rn tnq ef,roql Jo tueruteeJlrno[ se eurf,rpeur esooqc Llpurlq ot nol, e8ernof,ue l(uop a41 'acnsnf

-ul teer8 E JIesJnoA op Leru nol 'uorrdo alqyssod e sB eurf,rpeur 8uuo1d-xe uoJj no[ ]uenerd suortderuocsnu Jo JBaJ tel noA;1 .ACV

Jo sruol-druLs eqr ereln?et {11ncnrun.Lp uec eurf,lpelnl 'tr esnef, ter{t suelqord eqrlf,eJJof, ,(llrerodurat uBf, eurf,rpeu puB JepJosrp lBf,rSolornau B sl ccv

seruerJedxg leuosJed euros

'raqra8ot ua{81 ag t,uplnoqs seurcrpeu eruos 'srteJJe epls snoreSuepLllertuerod asnec uBJ uerur8ar rno,{ or Snrp peqlJf,sard ro Jetunof, er{l

reno Puores e Surppe dprerrlgrv 'srrege epls paf,unouord ro uorterrpau-Jepun 'uorrecrperuJelo ur llnseJ uEf, eurf,lpaur Jo asnsru sHI .uercrs[qdrnof gttrtt Surllnsuof, ]noqtl^{ esop rno[;o Sunul] eqt e8ueqc Jo eseeJf,-ap 'aseerf,ul ol alqtsuodseJrl s,tl 'peqpcsard s,rr Aetr aqt ueqt reqlo AemB ur ll Sulsn Lq spueq u/!\o rno,( otur sJeDelu alet t(uop 'anrlcege eq

IJIZVUS uO Ardnrs 'xzvl roN h{(l NVaIAI no^

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e^Eq tou ^Bru eurf,rperu Lru;o strJeuaq aq1 'aru pepnle a^Bq asraJegloplno^{ teqt sllBtap jo lueruuosse ue Suuaquerual 'uorqse; paaueBro uB

ut ,(ep teqt op ol pepeou 1 Surqrfue^a peqslJdruocce 1 iSurrueerrs puBSurlleL eprll tnq ef,ue[ouue grryt ]Bes rBf, Surssrru eqt pataar8 peg 1

'peuonuau pBq Jotf,op Lru sa8uegceltqns eqt tnoqe lq8noqr I teqt spuerra rer{to }o raqunu e Surop

puB euo d\au e 8ur,{nq }o aJBf, uelet peq I lltun t(use/v\ tl 'uB^ l,ru ruor;uelots ueeq peq tees rec s,dqeq [u ]Br{t perenorslp 1

'urletrU eqr 4oorI ^Bp tsrlJ ar{I 'e8uegc f,Iteruerp B ueqt rar{ter eltqns e tcedxe ot eru

PIot uelf,tsriqd z{yq 'enrftsod uaaq seq uortBJrpeu qtr/v\ acuauedxe Lyrl

';1asl,tu uIIBtlU 8urfur tnoqe uortetrseq ou se^l arar1f 'l,uraref ro] urletrgSutsn jo ef,uBtdaoce IEUIJ pue rusrryrdals '1esnlar

lertrur Jo ssaf,ord 3uo1reed e q8norgr auo8 l,pearle peq I 'sruolqord

CCV s(uos Aru puersrapuno1 qf,reasar ,{u q8norgr-reproslo aql Surlpueg luerBd-'c'qd ^lu

uallo8 l,pearle peq I 'uolslf,ep anrslndrur 'sse1aref, B J(usB/K tl 'srsou8erp

'(ru rer;e spuoces olu tnoge urletrg e{Br ot uorsrf,ap [u tB pe^rJJB I

'uorsnjuof, Jo PBetsuI ,br.re1o

ut patured plrorn e Suuanof,srp tB jarler Lur pereqs I 'peUI1 L11eur; peqsree,( euru-Atrlr{t ro; ur pe^rl per{ I 3o; aql teqt rer{ plot I 'lrrou rue I sBACV ,(ur;o [rllear er{] qtr/r\ elqetro}tuof, sB J(usB^\ I puB d;enocer [ru

ur lpea sB^{ U 'urlB]lg 8ur1er sBA\ I teqt tlleclraSolode teq^\aruos 'raq

3ut11er requauer pue ete) eroleq CCV gtpr pesou8elp sezn L, lgd

,,'decrpuer{ snopuatueJl B s(ll'uo suorl 3ol grlrn eJBr B unJ ot 8urful eTI sl uoneorparu Jo tr;aueq eqrtnoqtl^{ eJfl Surnll 'aru roC 'troga qf,nru se eorl\t gtlm pue IIe/!\ ssal tnquoltf,un; Illrs uBf, I eurf,rpeu tnoqtr711 'ef,uare;;1p eqt tB pezerue sAeznle

rue pue aIII s,rl tBqA\ ees ot rsnl;;o dep e a{B] I ellq^\ B ur eruo 'rl

tnor{tl1y\ rue I uet{t eulf,rpeu uo rerddeq rrJB puB Janoq Suruonf,un} ru(I

'pouad 1,33o; eqt ot rsn[pe o] peureelI pue lerurou ot perunter arnsserd poolq ̂tu 'asop quno, arlt Surleur

-rulla Lg 'qcnu oot ernssard poolq [ru paseerrul tl rnq Suruor]cunJ IBr-ueru Lru ro; tseq sed\ Lep e serurl JnoJ urletrg 8ur1er teqt punoj per{ I

'uosred ((leurJou,, B aIII tea lsnf 1 'errradde /,ru tsol

dlEH IVNOTSSACOUd )EAS OI NOTSTCAC EHJ ANV SU3CCV'I 'SaHCrnU3

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(('slf,elJe OPIS lse1Y\ej aql 9llrn IoJluoJ ruotdtu,{s a^rlce}Je tsotu eqt sJerjoreqt la^el esop runturldo aqt pur' or eq plnoqs leru Snrp rno[;o leo8eqJ 'sesoP raq8tq aqtrcserd ot tuetf,nleJ eJB suercrsr{qd lagf esnBoaqJeIIeJ ruotdrurts tunrurldo azrleal Janeu sluaued etuos ,tsuterqcLsd LruJo ef,ueuadxe aqt ul 'pef,uerredxe pBq I srf,eJle ennrsod eql Lq patuEr

-JB^{r\ sB^\ esop raqSrq B qtr^\ Ierrt L61 'gceordde eluelJesuof, fpeno uesesnef, serulteruos uoltef,lpaul tuBlnruns Jo lertuatod asnqe aqt tnoqe

uJaJuoS 'nod JoJ 1Kol oot aq l,eur esop urlBtlu z{ru 'pueq Jeqto eqt uo

'urlBtlu atBrelot t(uBf, no,t reqr epnlf,uof, ol nod pBel rqSrru esop req8n1aql Jo stf,elJe anrteSeu aql '3^uf,elJa eq plnor eurrrperu eqt tBqt ̂{ouIJe^eu tqSru nol, '91 uo lBrrt urlBlru e tJBts nol, rnq sruer8rllu g sl esop

unurtldo rno[ JI 'sesop t{8tt{ le sreeddBsrp req] sseuelule}Ja;o a8uer

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'suorlBf,rPeur

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-lU aqt tuo{ sseuueneun tuBsBeldun;o ear8ap eruos ecueuedxa op I

'esop raq8rq ar{t Jo stlJeueg olqlSllSeu aqt r{tro^{ lou dlalrulJap ere^\ t€qlseqf,BpBerl puB sseulzap pef,uerredxe lng sruerSrl|Lu gI 8ur1er perr dgeuq

I 'srelqer ruer8rlpul 0I Jo sesop rnoJ eIBt I ^\oN .esop euo ppe ot sB^\

uortducsard lerrrur ,(ru ef,urs epetu e^Bq I pue Jotoop dru a8uege AluoeqJ 'er.uoselqnort LFelncrrred uaeq e^Bq tBqt euou tnq troJurof,srpqrBruols PIIUI PUB seqrBpBeq Jo stlelJe epls rounu eruos pBr{ e^eq I

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pue ralteq suondnrrelur elpuBq uBf, I 'qsBel ernf,es Lpp; B uo tl re8or pa8eueru eABq I rnq '.ntsuoryanQgWD aru1Lur peuet t(ueleq I

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'strleuaq Pue sllelJe ePIs 'sf,IJSIJeJf,BJEqf,

'uouf,B jo sulsruBr{f,elu lBnpl^lpur Jrer{l-seursrPeru }o AIaIJBA B Jo s(Ar{A\

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ur IBrJI 3*p B jo af,uBuodrut eqt ot sef,ueJelal IBJeAas eperu e^Bq e1N\

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Page 341: You Mean I m Not Crazy

vze'ag ueo [",{r icov ernf, l.uer dagr pue sseFrrrerl l(uare s8nrp

:tueuteerr Snrp ot r{ceordde a'rrlenJesuof, e Jo, suoseal tuellaf,xe eJBereqr requeruer Etel

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'f,BzoJd

puB urlBtlu sB qf,ns sSmp Jo suonBurquos ro sSnrp peqlrlserd l,luoul

. -tuoJ

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stqt Suuolluol^tr 'L1tq8r1 eIBt ro erou8r or Surqlaruos t(usr ll os 'Jane-^\or{ 'Surueleerqt aJII eq uBO ernssa-rd poolq qslH 't(uop stlnpe l,ue14'sle^el arnssard poolq pote^ale gtlrn elqnort l,ue eneq rou rg8ru no1

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'stuoldtu,{s pauerq8tar{ Lprerodruat asBO uEf, spoued aseql Suunp aldoadr3qlo -grJ [eAe SurrtaS ro >lsB] B tuo$ IBarq e 3ur1e1 .stuetutsnlpB

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iPe^rl-uoqslnq esuetur 'punoqer aqt uo e^ol elll s,tl '[poq eqr rJel sBq eurf,lperu

eqt ueq/v\-sruoldull,s par;rsuelur erour dpqSrls qllA\-atels lensnstl ot Suturntar Lq spuodsar [poq eqJ .,ifio1orq s,l,poq agr sefiueqc

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er{t Jo tesuo rerlree uE esnef, rq8nu uIIe}lU teqt sr Lroerll tueJJnf, eql

.SJ Jo esJnoc leturou ar{r Jo Ued sB senlesrueql Palse}Iueu eABq

Lllenrua^e plno/\\ sf,n SuBreure aql teqt snsuesuoc peerdsaplzn [pte; st

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.rsrrj pesou8elp l^11eotd,{r st qqy aql 'sraprostP qroq qllrn uarPllqf, ul

,r.CICV e^Bq oslB slBnpl^lpur s(enernol lo o/oOS lBr{l lsaSSns sf,IlsllBls

'ccv PIIB sI qroq olul

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reproslp lecrSolorneu 'ouaua8 e sl (SI) aruorpur(S euernol 'eruorpul,S

opeJnol jo sort egt SursnBf, urletrg rnoqe suodar peer e^Bq ,(eul notr

'sle^el IIel Poolq ellqd\ rno,t ut saSuegc Lue Jolluolu uec

eq'[etr slqr ul 'uIIBtlU 8ur1er ur8eq no,{ rerye PUB ero}ag ]sal Poolq B

repJo ot Jolcop rnoli, 1se 'no[ selrlo^\ 1l ]l 'eJBr os sI lf,e]re oPIS slql asnBf,

-eq stunof, IIef, poolq arrqin Jotruoru AleurlnoJ l(uoP suetots,{qd rsoyl

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eqI .tunof, IIer poolq etrq/v\ peJo/r\ol B sesnBJ lBtll uotsserddns /1|oueru

auoq sr tf,e#e epls snore8uep l,llerruarod rn9 'erer i{leruerlxe Jaqlouv

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JIp elqeulef,slP eJB eJer{t ',{es seruedruo) eJueJnsur tBqA{ ol drer1uo3

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vglc grl,n stf,ejJe aseqr pacuaujdxe ranau peqI

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'uercrsLqd Lru qrrm trsrn crpou5d l,ru Buirnq

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uorluene Jreqt ur suortcurys^p JBInJruBd eqr to esneceq stuelnrults aser{l

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Page 352: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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Page 354: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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Surseanep Aq sruotdurlr CCV pe^erler ser{ ]l teqr sreCIeV pue suerc-ts,(qd ruo$ suodar letopoeue penref,er eABr{ e/X\'stuordul,s anrslndruoc

-enrssasqo qlr^\ sreCOV roJ peqlrcsard seruuatuos sr IIUB{euV 'EpB

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".{J 's,i.ep a^rJ ot fln rsel UBJ lerll

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Jouer8oll>[ rad surerSorcru g ]o tuaruteeu /,11ep e sr e8esop prepuBrs eql

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rno,( tueds a^eq no,i;l rlleueq e l,llressaJeu t(usr erlradde perBlnullts B'osrnof,

JO 'arnsserd poolq sre.rol pue atrladde aql setelnruus eurpruolC

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etuos ro; Snrp er{t Jo slrJeueq arlr q8ra/htno stce#e eprs eseql 'uorsserdap

pJe^rot Lcuepuat B suesro/n pue en8rle; sosnef, tl 'sJeCCV JoJ sa8eluenpe-slp Jelnf,lrred ozv\t eleq rq8ru eupruol3 'euecs eqt uo IBATJJe tuecer ,{1-eAnBIer str Jo esnef,eq petuerunrop IIe/\{ t(uere stf,e#e epls eqt t18noqt1y

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eCV roj peqlrcsard Alerer ere scrtoqr,(sdrtue q8noqr-lV 'sreCCIV

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ot eABr{ osle /,aql 'sterp rreqt ur eletur rete/r\ pue tlBS etenbepe ulel-urBtu ot Peou lunrqtll a{81 oqA\ slBnpl^lpu1 'Lpoq aql ur ef,uelBq retem

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'CCV lrla,t PalBlf,ossB

sarulteruos Jorneqeq anrsserSSe eqt azrululru ol sreadde redsng teqlel€)IPUI selPnls esBJ A\e, V

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aseqt esn nod dl"r{ ot tsrdereqt B }o aoueprn8 eqt peeu teneznoq 'lq8rruno 'pessnf,srp eA(eA\ serSateus dlaqlas eqt epnlf,ur IIIA\ {ro^\ sn{t Jo ]r€d

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Page 368: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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Page 369: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'se^rl rrer{t rnoq8norqt ueqt qtl^r l,lec eldoed sernlle};o aEeSSBq lBuorl-oruo aqt uo snf,oJ [eql req]B5 'senssr

CCV ro; [llecglcads dl.q rolJot(uop [".{I 'are Lagt ]eqt\ moul 11,noL os rueqt eunuexe II,a/!\ tnq stueru-leeJt pJepuets t(ueJe uortueru II,ea teqt sardereqt Jaqto Jo Joqrunu V

'tueunearr CICV;o rred tuetrodrur ue eq u€f, rlf,nl.ln.

rnq sarderaqroqodsd l,uare teqt suoudo IBJeAes ere pepnpur oslv 'tsJrJ

pessnf,srp are CeV rol serdeJaqt pesn ,{luoruurof, tsoru aql ',fuoBetBf,

qree ulqllrN 'serderaql dnor8 pue sardereqt lBnpl^lpul jo sauo8atecotul Pepl^lp ,(lq8nor are /,aq1 'r{f,Ba

Jo steuet aqt aurltno lgeuq puesatderaqt tuerelllp Jo raqunu B tB 1ool II,ea

'arro11o; terlt suortf,es oqt ul

'tsII lerraJar rnoA

uo pepnlrul l(us1 ry dgzn repuo/r\ pue 1n;dleq se^{ terlt ,{deraqr Jo pul1relnf,ruBd e ur ueeq a^Bq deru no,{ rg 'serdereqt elqBIrB^B;o Llauen aql [q

peyteq;1esrnol, pug Leur noL 'd1aq leuorsselord Sullaas ur8eq noA sy

'z(dereqr Jo plro/r\ Sursn;uoc aqt ot atuof,le^4N ipulru

ul peq nol regm IIB tB J(usr slql ie{Btsrur alqrrret Jo pull euros eg olsruees eJer{J 'o1 no,{ stf,aJrp eqs qf,nof, aqt uo u/trop all puB af,rllo rer{ otur

IIBr!\ 'tearg 'Je r{tr1!\ tueruturodde uB e>leru notr 'dnor8 froddns rno[;o

Jeqruau B ruog IBJreJer e la8 puB TroA\oruoq rno,t op no^( oS 'leuorssa;ord

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elgerJo;tuocun ere eldoad eruog 'stsrJorleqeg roj senssr t(ueJB pulrueql Jo sterces tsourJeuq ar{J 'sluelqord esnet tBqt sror^Bqeq pue stuol-druLs or{t qtr^\ sleep teqt qceordde crteur8erd e sr ,{dereql lBror^Br{eg

dderaqa leror Bqeg

'senssr Jeqto uo snf,oJ ol ,{8raue dn ae{ uBf, slql .JIes }o esuos arutrsod e

Yll,n seroJJelul lBql 8ut>1urqr 1ecr3o11l s(reCICV eqt trerroc uBf, {lBr-JIeS

sr'uolsserdap etBl^ellB plnoc 'tsrdereqt e lno\irrro lderaql anuluSo3pezualndtuof, uele teqt petseSSns [p.tr ]uecer V

.stuolqord;o f]euen ero;1ryd1aq aq uBr tl a^erleq sreqto ,sseuenrlf,e#e str uousenb spuorsse;ordetuos q8noqlly 'relndod eruof,eg dlluacar seq l,dereqroqcdsd enuruSoC

'slueluluoc aleudorddeut tno unlq ro tdnuetur no[ seurl] Jo Jaqunu eqltltull uec,(SeleJts srql 'uortce 8ur>1er eJoJeq,,'uetsll pue lool

'dotg,, ,Lesol uJBel uec no[ 'eltqndurl eJB nol,;1 'slq8noq] un\o rnod;o r{cenud etllw llasmoC ol3ur41a ̂qsuortf,€ rno[ Ior]uof, ot rrrBOI uEf, no 'sror^Bqeqef,uanltq ot pesn eq osl€ uec ,(deraqroqcl,sd e^nruSoc;o seldrcuud eql

(.'autll ary to tsour $rI s.uDae aW a\DuL ol pa7vuoruuafta I mq Ksoa 1uspm ry aafiap {u Suwat nl !1asiw to yno.t( tu,1

'>lr"offb ary ("q paup\m"Lafto sann I 'I

1puo\ oi nno1- Wp OOV {,u tnoqomou\i,uplp I aun rt"r{ arp a8alloc oi iuaftr I ua\/X,.ir,Durs K.nn uto 1,,

:qtr/!t ,,'pldnts tuB I 'e3a11oc Jo tno pelunu I esnBf,ag,, 'ecelder ot urBal

Plno./y\ er.{s 'sesseJf,ns JeqJo suortBurJr#B epnlJur plno/\{ edel A\eu rag .ederantle8au req etlr/her ot streJ ar{l asn IaqrBU dl"r{ plno/r\ lsrderaqt ar{J

'Jaq eJrrupe pue tradsar sJe{Jo/!\oc ra11 .qo[er{t uo IIe^\ sruro;rad puB slrf,rjep req roJ pelBsuaduroc sBq eqs ,llllearu1 ',b1ne; ere suortdunsse rag .ptdnts peepul sl eqs-rlej B s(tl ,q-.pslee} atls jl ]€q] seurnssB pue SuruosBer ur deal 1ecr3o11l uB selBru aqs

'qunp sleal aqs ,rce;srqt jo esnef,eg dtll"er uo peseq tf,e, B sr teql :a8a11oc Jo tno >1ung plpleqcl[

's8urlee; arp ruog stce' eqr ereredas req dl"q plno^\ eqg '8ur1qqr

1ecr3o11l ro; lducs req eurruexe Iaqf,eg dleq plno^\ lsrderarp enrrruSoo y

umop 4oo7 Karlt ffiowl I-LLoffb w a14oa4 ra\io ̂li w pa{tprb ,rioffi

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Page 371: You Mean I m Not Crazy

,s€.'erult eqt tB 8ur1ee; sel\ ar{s ,!\oq pue rorneqeq eqr pepaecerd [lererparu-rur ter{t stuene er{t setou eqs 'sJnf,f,o rorner{aq uelqord eqt erurt qf,BOfulue ue seTeru pue [rerp e sur8aq ruedrrlrred e 'ruerSord eqr ur Lpeg

'sJoIABqeq onltrsod arou 'rneu Surtnlnsqns ,(q sasuodser Lqllearl-un eqt ureelun ot sr sdnor8 dlaqlas ur ISBI eql 'stuene

Inlsserts olasuodser peureal e se palaplsuoc sr 8ur>1orus ro Surteerelo eqJ 'salduexe

o^u eJE Surlotus dots pue rq8rel\ loJtuof, ot sruer8or4 'seldrcuud leror

-^Bqeq esn surerSord d1at1las In;Ssaf,f,ns Lueyrl 'tueruuoJrnue er{t ruo4llnurls ot sasuodser se pel\arn eJB suouce 'qceordde

IBJorABqeq € ul

'luelulBaJl

Ienpl^lpur req roJ alqrsuodsar r{lelerurrln aq ot petredxe sr uosrad qJBE'Jorleqeg ut\o rno[ IoJ]uof, ot paeu noL sloot oqt Suurnbce tnoqe s(U

'Jene/!\oq 'uouelndrueur tnoqe lou sr lueruteeJt IBJorABqeq tueJJnC'euo eruoolel\ e t(usr rsrderaqt IBJor^Bqeg B Lq petelndrueu pue

pellortuoc Suraq;cl rq8noqr aqJ iDlror{s f,rlcele pue ster 'srerloreaser Jo

sa8eul dn arnluoc Laqr esnef,eq dderaql Ieror^Bqeg Jo eapl eq] qtr/n

$utrs TJ.Loxg lD rolMla B. r,

.a

a

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seeJB surelqoJd clllf,eds lutodurd ot uouenlele e8en8uel B Jo stlnsereql sesn tsrderaqt eqJ 'tsrderaqr qceads e yo dlaq eqr arrnbar rg8ru

tBr{t saurlrgBslp qreeds lf,urtsrp e^Bq [eu sreq]o 'suroldu[r ccv rleq]

ol Peteler sualqord uoueclumuruof, e^Bq stlnpe dueyrl 'uarpllql ro; lsnft(usl tl 'senssr a8en8uel pue qceeds;o ,bauen e uo sesnooj l,deraql rlceadg

dde.laqa a8en8uu1 pus qcaadg

-eq B glt,n [lpnptntput 1ro^,r\ uec no[ ,euo pur] uBf,t:1i:i:rU":t$"r:ere tenel\og 'sraqqy ro; pau8rsep sdnorg .rroddns

lenlnu saprnordteqr Surues dnor8 B ur tseq Iro^r Ldereql leror^Br{ag Jo sanbruqcat eqJ

Lrlllqelul paseerrul #o tes IIIII\ reqr aldoad;o p^\orc pue IIBru Surd-doqs eqt plo^B puB re88rn eqt jo Bepr eqt esn 'Lep tFrlJIp Lpelncrrred e

PBq e^(no[JI 'seI]IAItJ€ Peteq q8nonp [em aqr q]ootus uBf, tBeJt e;o tcad

-sord eqJ 'uorsnlcuoc str tB pre^\er B pue eroqf, eqt ro, erull;o pouad par;-rcads e ueld '.Toog{f,egc rno[ Surcueleq;o l,-ra8pnrp eqr e]BJ ot eurl EtlueqA 'e;11 rnoL ur suouentls ,{ueru ot saldrcuud prorneqeq dldde uBf, no^

'eldoed rer{to tuog sesuodser aartrsod etlr q8noJqt flestr spred\eJ Jor^Bqeqpa8ueqc eqr ellq/K e reUV 'rer{

Iortuoc ol SurLrl sraqto Jo slle#a ar{lecuauedxo ol [1a>lll ssel sr aqs 'sanbruqf,a]

IBror^Bqaq asn ot sluBel aqsJI

'elqnort otur ;aq ra8 ter{t srorneqeg Jo ,bauel B e^Bq uBO reqev uV

'spJB/\{eJ puB suoncB }o ueld pezrlB-uosrad e q8norqt tl Iouuor ot A\oq ureel raq sdlaq reurert ro tsrdereql

eqJ 'ror^Bqeq relnsruBd e a8ueqf, ot uorsrrap eqt selBuI luerlr eqJ'lenpl^lpur eqt Jo spuer{ eqt ur Iortuor stnd [dereql lBror^Bqeg pooC

'Jorleqeq anrtrsod ef,JoJur-eJ st€eJt leuosred-l,deraqt Jorneqeq;o rred lerSarur uB eJe spJBA\eu

'{ler!\ Sutxelar '3uo1 e 8ur1et Jo ees or SurAp ueeq s(aqs ernotrr e Suuuer,{rr rq8rur aqs 'poo; uo e8urq ot sr TJo/lr re dep In}sseJts e ot asuodser

lecrdAr req JI 'pooj ueqt reqto s8urqr gtlm llasreq pre^\er ot ureel ro rote

-re8u;ar egr rsed Surllezn plone tq8nu etls 'tq8re^\ esol ol Surr{rl s(eqs }l 'ecuetsul JoC 'asuodseJ alrtBuJatle uB atntlrsgns Jo rueqr plo^B ot s,{emsurBel tuedrcrtred aqr 'sre88ut

lBnpl^lpur rer{ parJrruepl sBr{ aqs rerJv

'uollsB PeluB/v\un eql lJo les leql s.ta88ui eJB stuele pue s8urlaay eser{J

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Page 373: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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serunBrl plo q8nonlt 1ro/r\ ot sr IBoB eqJ 'tsBd eqt tnoqe Sunetcosse-eegpue r.{f,noc s,lsrdeJeqt eql uo 3urL1 'slee,{

IeJeAas Jo} Ieed\ e sAep aruyro rnoj spuads ruerlf, aqr srsLleuv ul 'uerpnerg ,tllecrsselr s srsl(puy

'Lderaqr yo ed,b eqt uer{t lueuodu:r eJoru sr tuarlf, puetsrde.raqr ueen[eq drqsuorlelar Surryozn poo8 B ]Erlt slsaSSns qJreesar elqe-lfene petrurl eql 'tuerudole^ep ,btleuosred;o ssacord xalduroc egr 8ur-f,p.rr;o ,irlncr;;lp aqr ot anp ued ul sl qoreeser jo {rBI aql 'sseF{tro^\

s(tr uBeru t(useop slql 'qf,JBaseJ eruof,tno ̂q parroddns ueeq l(usetlsseueluf,elJe str ler{t sr [dereq] crureu,{poqcLsd Jo uslclluc roleru y

'ecuerf,s B uBql tJB uB eJotu ,(larrur;ep sr /,deraqroqcl,sd cnueu,iporlcl,sd

'sernlleJ pereadar req,{q pesner sualqord IEuoIl-orua eqt jo aruos paqs ot elqe aq 'renemoq 'rg8rru eqs 'pllqc B sB pBq

er{s surelqord lecr8olorneu erues er{r a^Bq IIIrs llllr\ or{S 'sreqto pue JIes-raq uaoA\taq srerrrBq eteerf, teqr sesuelep p1o dorp pue suorlcayadur

req ldecoe ol ureel uec eqs 'seJnllej pue stJng rsed grlm sruJet ot eurof,JeCCV ue dlaq uec Lderaqlogr,tsd f,nueuLpoqcl,sd 'serroeqt uerpnerC

ruo5 pa^rrep Lderaqroqc,tsd aqlrf,sep ol pesn rurat IIBqltBr B sr sn{Iddureglogrds4 erureudpoqel(s4

'sllnPB grlrn >po^\ ot{r!\ sJolnl ol noA JeJaJ uBf, sef,Jnos esaql

Jo euo 'dnor8 uoddns Jo Iooqf,s leuortecon 'Ltrsrellun

lBlol 'tsr8o1

-oqcLsd leuortef,npe uB q8norqr saf,JnoseJ aseql ssef,Je ot lue^\ rq8nuno 'paAIoAe osle eABq speeu esaqt tearu ot saf,JnoseJ 'umor8 anerl

srlnpe,o sanssr Surureal anbrun aqt Jo a8paprou>l pue sseuere^rB sV

'af,ueruJotrad rnor{ }o ltrlenb aqr astruorduof, o] enultuof,uBf, surelqord Suru-rea1 'eroru[ue

loorlf,s ur ](uere nor( 1l ueAE 'snf,oJ ol,irrpqe eqt qrrl\ pera;:etul CCV asneraq a8palznoul ul sde8 tuo{ tlnserauos 'suelqord Suru.reel jo esnBf, Aluo eqt t(uere saulllqBslp Sutu;ee1

'senrlrqesrp Suru-rea1 8ur,$rruapl

Jo acuelrodun eqt pazrseqdrue pue q'I pue CCIV;o depeno egt paul-ruexe rtgauq azrn tetdeqf, JerlJBe uB ul 'tuaruteeJt rno'{;o fred tuetroduruB eq oslu uBf, uouerpauer leuorternpa

'as rad dderaqt B tou q8noqllyuouBrPaweu lBuoqernPg

'ruerSord [deraqr eteudordde ue u8rsap o] pue

IiAZVUS UC)ArdruS'XZVI rON l^r,l NVAI{ nOI

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qrlEeq lBtuelu snorrB^ tuo$ erB or{^\ srsrSoloqcdsdjleg .l,gredura;oernlleJ e Luog tlnseJ _spuno^\ leorSoloqcl,sd rBqt e^erleg uorletuarro sn{l

gtlrn srsrderaql'dderaqr f, nuBu,tpoqcdsd raqroue sr L8olorlcds4,Jlas

su, a1 qor d dueur o s e snef, eo, "",',1'[H; Hr"i,{xfii I? :,lir]J:lHJ,il; 'Jellaq rlesrar{ PuBrsJapun ot tuerl) eqt sa8ernooua tuarlr pue lsrdeJaql

uee/ueq drqsuortelar Suununu eqJ 'rleamns {rsfs d.rreg;o s8ur

-qf,Bal aqr ltrolloJ oql\ stsrderaqt Jo snooJ eql eJB senssr leuosradralul

'sruBeJP pue stll,iru Jo e3en3ue1eql qllA\ elqBuoJruof, eq,{eru egS ',{rrnltBarf, roJ tueq B r{lr^\ recev uB

ol Surleadde aq uec ,(dereqr snlJ 'lnos eqr Jo sterf,es eqr llolun dlaqo1 senlf, eqt erB sluBerp pue [selue;'L8o1oqil,ylq .llB sn o] uoruruof, puB

oJBJ uerunr{ eJllue eqt Lq peJer{s seueqt pue serJorueru }o stsrsuof, terllsnorf,suof,un enrtf,ellot aqt Jo tdecuoc eql uo paseq sr dd?.raqa ueprmf

'sesueJep SuunlonrtseJ;o leo8 eqt areqs IIB tnq tuare,JIp ^llq8rls sr qrBE 'lderegr paseg uerpnerC yo sed[r reqlo ere araql

issal Surtceratur puB u/y\op 8urri1 ro tsrd-BJeql rno[ grlnt r{pcalp eJoru Suncere]ur pue dn 8uru1s re;ard no,{ oq'le^al rrojruof, rno,{ yrlm op or tsotu suq dlqeqord rer{lo eqt re^o euo Joef,roqf, v

'ccv yrFr tlnpB ue roj ssaulnJosn e^Bq leu sarderagl qrog

'(ruaudole^eP;o e8ers reIIrBe uB ot IrBq Suro8 ,{llreroduer) uorsser8arro ,tletxue ssel Lllensn sI eJeqt 'srs,{1eue ur uerlt f,rtseJp ssel $ Lderaqr

slqt uI SutrnlcnJtseJ ,brleuosrad aqr asneJeg .Iee^\ rad earql ol auoJo suorsses L1>1eazn Je^reJ sellonur ,{deragr;o edLr slqJ .lsrdereqr eql

lllrn,t1rcalp eJotu stf,BJetul pue JrBqf, e ul dn slrs tuerll aqJ .esuetursssl sr rl tBr{] tdarxa srsdleuy or rBlltuls sr ddB.raqloqcdsd cndteuv

:anod Jrer{lJo uleql_sqoJ pue dn Suttror8 Jo sBtuneJt eqt senrleJ luerlJ eqt ,sacue

-uadxa tsed mo {'v74 or ts,tleue eqr Sursn ,{g 'rsed eqr ruo+ iernfr; reqlosnoIJBA ro (s)fuered eqf eJ3^\ aqs JI sB sasn tuerlf, aqr arn8r; dzllopeqs

B seuroreq Llesodrnd aqs 'al]rll sleads puB ̂\ar^ Jo lno srrs tsr{1euB eql

'seuo dqrleequn Joj stusrue-qf,au esua;ep dqtpatl Surtntrtsqns drrleuosred sreuo arntf,nJtsar pue

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stas ler{t JIes eqr Jo tred f,Itsllerotu 'p13lr aql 'PuBlsraPun u€f, luellf,aqt sruro) ur saims o8a tueJelJIP Sutqtrcsap 'LdereqloqcAs4 cruleu/.q

;o seldrcuud eqt lo eruos st\orroq (Vf ) slsdpuy Fuolltesuu.ra

'rueqt relo lorluof, patlrull seq eqs-reProslP req Jo ued

ler8alut uB ere srolner{eq s,roCCV uB Jo euros 'CCV tnoqe alqee8pal-^\oul sr tstdereqt aqr teqt tueuodutr Lllerrn s,tl 'Jotneqeq e8uer{f, ol

uortetuo{uoc sesn teqr ,{deraqt slql ul '(srer{to PUB sPeeu req }o senssl

fuepunoq aqr puetsrepun roq dltq plnot qceordde esuesuou,ou slt{I'sllnPB

cclv IenPI^lPul roj sllJeueq euros ra#o Plnoc ,{deraql Artleeu

'ror^Bqeq

elqrsuodseJJr ur sJotf,e; se petunof,srp eJB saf,uauedxa lsed-tuasard agtuo sr srsegdulE 'eloqd\ B sB uosred aqr sldecce tnq rolneqeq elqlsuodser.rtrnoqe eluuo{uof, sr rsrderaqt eqJ 'srer{to;o srq8lr aql Surrelol^ tnorltll\

spaeu raq lgqles ot s,{em ureal tuellf, eql dleq ot sI leo8 fueruud eqJ

's1eo8 rurol 3uo1 pue trotls sautltno rer{t tceJtuof, Beterto8au lstderaqr puB luellf, aqr ',tdereqt

Jo Sutuut8eq eqt tV 'stuallf,

Jleqt or sleqBl cttsou8elp l,1dde t(uoP srsrderaql 'roIABI{eq ller{r ro}alqlsuodser ere aldoad teqt eldrcuud aqt uo saterado Lde.leqa dfSeag

'nod ot seuo leuoltpp€ jo qf,reeser eqt e^€al pue serderer{t ul\oul reuaqer{t Jo aruos epnlf,ur IIIrn aarr 'sturensuoc aceds Jo esnBf,eg 'no,t ol 1ryd1aq

Lpelnorrred uaag serl ter{t ,(deraqr B uortuoru ol IIeJ a,r }l sn anr8rog',i,ueur os eJB areqt asnBoeq sarderaqt elqBIIB^B IIB rsll ot elqgssodutl s,tl

Lde.raqa Jo sloogts snoeuu11ecsu4l

'luerutlruruoJ urJet 3uo1 e SuutnbeJ lou;o aBeruB^PB eqt seq rl'^,irlqf

PuB xIS uee/lueq ,t11eord,b 'suotsses Jo Jequnu eqr ueld pue sleo8

c1;1ceds esoogf, tuerted pue lsrdereqt egr ',{dereqt ure}-troqs slt{t Jotestno eqr rV 'pouad arurt Jeuoqs B JeAo tf,rlluof, ro urotdurLs a18urs e

uo sesnf,o; rl 'sarderaqr pasBq uerpnarg reqto se sanbtuqcel pue selroeqleruBs eqt qtr/v\ seleredo ade.lega clureu,(q luJal uoqs 'patturtl-elul.I

-slul r1a; sLe,"l' sBt{ oqrt\ rlnp' uB roJ Ltunres pue ,ba;"r rJ:fi:l"fi:-lrolruof, B ralJo rq8rtu qceordde crgredura sIqJ 'saoqs n\ur saftPsluual111

3uwn4 pue tuerlt aqr Surpuetsrepun uo srseqdula ue tnd 'suotsse;ord

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Page 376: You Mean I m Not Crazy

69e',{deraqroqcLs4 anrrruSo3 pue leror^Bqeg;o suorrdaf,xe aqr qrllN .suorldo

elgBIrB^B;o heue^ eqt gllrn nod peurleq^\Je^o l,uaneq o/t\ adoq a46

'lnJesn BurBrpoqcl,s4 pulJrq8nu nol, 'cneruerp er{t roJ rlBU B e^Bq no,i;1 :srualqord snouen grlrn

IBaP ol s,{em relleq tno tf,e uaqt pue rurotsurerq ol dnor8 aqt sdleq't"oltaup eqt sE ulrroul 'tsrdereqr oql .s8urlae; dn tuad Jo uorsserdxaaqr se8eJnooue teruJoJ f,rterueJp aql .aldoed uee^rtaq pue JIes s(euourr{trll\_stf,ruuoJ ,teruod ot sarnbolllos pue lesreler elor ,8urde1d elor

sesn puB dnorS B ur euop sr Lderaqr SFII .suelqord;o SurpuBlsrepun uBJelsoj ol sanbtuqcet f,IlBruBJp sesn Burerpoqc[s4 'serldtur eureu eqt sV

uruBrpoqcAs4

'erntnJ eqt ur s8urqr ro; Buo1 no,{ ellr{zn eJIlrnod ur selrtrsod aqr ssrur ol noL selrJp rBqt ,brpqerrusu eqt loJtuof, olurBel nod d1et1 uBf, snroJ slr{I 'tuesard aqt uo snf,oJ eql sr se e8etue^pe

uB slbtltleerf, uo srseqdrua aqr 'raCev uB JoC 'srsBq lBnpl^lpur uB

uo auop eq uBf,_tr tnq tBruroJ perreJerd aqr sr dderaqt dnorg JIes eql1o slcadsB eAISSeJdxe pue aAItBeJf, ar{t sezrseqdrue osle ,{deraqJ rlBtseo

'noL ot txeu JrBqf, drdrueoql uI slls _oq/v\ luered rnod gflrn tclltuof, lsed e ssnf,srp ot pueterd no,{

a^Bq rq8nu tsrdereqt tletseC aqr 'eldruBxe JoC '^\ou Suurncco eJe^\[eqr ]l se luasard eqr ur ueqr Surruler dq peroldxe are lsed eqt ruo{

senSSI 'r!\oN PUB eJaH aql-lueluoul luasard er{l uo sseueJB/r\e Sursnrol

,(q BurpuelsrapunJles eseerrur or sr r,deraqr llelsec Jo IeoB ;l,l'"x

'Jorunq Jo asues pue LtrnlteaJf, rnoi{ or leedde ,teru pue Bur

-PuBtsrapunJlos ratsoJ ot rounq Jo slunourE lBraqll sasn qceorddB slqJ'sleqel pue serue8 qrr,lr dl"l"rr,roc paur;ep ere pultu eqr jo s8urryom

]f,B_nsqB aqt teql sl vJ;o a8eluB^pB uv 'lBturo; dnor8 e seq ̂(11eraua3r{deragr eql'Le1d eldoed sarunB ro sqraned anrrdepeleru eqi aulqf,Bel^(q uorref,runruruof, Jo suraued eurruexe lenpl^lpur eqt sdlaq osle VJ'u8rer oe{ pllqC oqr Surnr8 ro sreed grl,n epotll tuorBd oqt uI Burlce-f,rlleuosted eqr Jo sued eseqt sesn ,{lateudorddeur uosrad e uaqm

Jnf,co sruelqord tBqt sr vIJo leuel f,rsBq y .rred petuerJo,{rrlear ,erntBrueqr 't1npv aqJ, pue Llrleuosrad eqt Jo frcd mou ry31.t j! juqffi I ernteu-lur er{t q puqc aqJ, ?uered eqJ, pelleqBl sr ror^€rleq Jo sprBpuels

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Jeqto qf,Be ol uoddns aprnord uec stuedrcrue4 '3ut133ru1s eJB or{^\ esoqlor adoq Je#o IIaA\ Surdor are oglr\ esoqJ 'fuanocar;o se8ets rueJaJIP

tB ere sreqrueru 'sdnor8 tsoul ul 'slaPoru alor saptnord /.deraq1 dnorg

'sersBtuBJ PUB sJBeJ rnor{ eJBqs sJeqlo ]€qr JeAof,

-srp ot JerleJ snoruJoue uB eq uBf, 1I 'leoq alues eql ut IIB aJ.no,i' 8ut1aa;sr dnor8 Lderagt e;o rred Suraq tnoqe s8utqr tseg eqr jo euo 's,eqe

,{poqLue eIIIun sef,uelJedxe anbtun qtl^\ euole 1aa; Ldereqt {ees oqd\aldoad tso141 ',btun;o 8ur1aa; € ruog tlleuaq uBf, PUB aldoad rer{lo oluonf,euuor B peeu slenpl^lpu| EurlSSnrrs teqt sr ,{duraql dnor8 Jo ale

-uouer aq1 'ror^Bqeq;o Surpuelsrepun Sutratso; pue Sutpllnq IIIS roJalf,rqe^ eql sB dnor8 eqt asn rerp setderaqroqc,{sd Jo dralren B ere eraql

Ade.laqloqr^s; dnolg

'lq8noqt Jo looqrs 1ecr8o1or1cl,sd cglcads B ueqt raLIlBr uollf,Brelul

dnor8 uo sr snf,oj esoq^\ sardereqt,o srlJeueq aqr,o uolssnoslP B ol uoelour III^I el6 'tEruJoJ dnor8 e asn qllq^{ }o aruos 'satderaql snoIrBA JoLSoloqc,isd pue gceordde cgtceds aqt uo uaeg setl rBJ snqt snf,oJ rno

'elnf,npordrelunoJ eq uBf,arult euo tB dl",{ Jo spuDl /.ueru oot Suuoldxa reqt reqrueueg 'no,{ ro;

1ryd1eq fuan eq uec teqr slg8rsur lueuodurl e^Bq ,i,eu aqs 'leuotssa;ord

pelurolul-ccv uE sv 'senssl IBroI^Bqeq PUB lBuollolua;o ,batrB^ B roj

Surlasunof, pue ecueprn8 c1;1cads eplnord ot peulert sr 8ur>pom,tpearleere nort uoq^\ gtlrn tslJtBlqf,l,sd ro rst8oloqo,i,sd eqJ 'luelulBeJl aAIl

-teJJa ro; ,hesseJeuun aq l,eur ,,tq8noqr 1ecr8o1ogc,(sd,o looqls,, relnf,Il-red e 8ur>1aag 'uorsserdrut Suorm eqt qrIA\ noi{ eneal ot tuBA\ t(uoP e/X\

'a1,bs pue suelqord IBnPI^lPut rno,{ pue ddereqrB ueelueq\Jwtiltsag aqr lno arnBIJ or fur r{lqeqord plnoqs noL'l'deraql

lsag eqr tno arn8lj or 8utfut ueqt rerpe1 'Buere,o PulI slql ut la^el

lJo}uof, rno'{ esBeJcur or sr po3 rno,,{ ssalun ef,roqf, rsaq aqr r,usr AlqeqordBruBrpoqc.{.s4 'aPivts a\i uo elqeuoJtuof,un are no,t JI

'Jelutqt elarf,uoJ'lecncerd B ere no,{;l IIe^\ fuen ryot\ rou ,lqeqord 11llt srs,(1euy UBIPnaJC

'lueqr Jo

[ue tnoge lecr8eu Surqrou sI eraql 'stuelqord rno/.;o sacerd tueJe#lP

Htl,n 1ryd1eq eq uBf, lBr{t qreorddB uB re#o 'renanoq 'seop qlBE 'CCV

JoJ suoudo tueruteeJl sB peJe#o /.laurtnoJ eJE passncslp eA(aA\ sardereqleqr Jo euou 'uouetperueg

IBuoIlBf,npE puB Aderagl a8un8ueflqcaedg

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r o s e f, u e u a d x e p eI Bqs "u;' l""i:il :l ifi il I L'* :l:X* tJ#::

Jil]: luarper8ur eqt q8noqrly 'dnor8 poxnu e ur ,(deraqroqcLsd ruor; tlJaueq11lrs ,(eur nod 'sraqqv roJ Llleeryrcads dno.r8 B pul; t(uuf, nod yr uerrg

'splan{s elrsue}ap rno Sursrer rB prer{os >lrol\ ot e^Bq t,_uop e,t. 'seJualradxa

ccv paJeqs Jo IJo/KeruB{ eqlulqrl/N '8uuoo;

lenba uo sr dnor8 eqt ur auofuene ,ssoq paleu8rsep B tno-rltl/)N '1ryd1eq [rer aq uBf, Surllas dnor8 aq] teqt rseSSns suodar lerop -3euB tng 'sn ro; ,illeclllceds pauSrsap are sdnorS znag .stlnpB

clclv roJLdereqr dnor8 pue lenpl^lpul Jo strJeueq aqr paredruof, t(userl qcreeseg

'tuerutEen Jo spoqteuI lsaq eqt Jo euo aq deu puB speau rno ol

petrns AIIBapl sr ̂(dereql dnorg 'uorteruroJur elgenlBnur sr srqt ,CCVgrlm sn jo ,{ueul roc 'eloq^\ B sB dnorS eql stse}Je tr A\orl pue suortf,B-retur

-lerf,os Jo ssef,ord aqt enJesqo ol ,bruntroddo uB sr eraqJ 'slll{s

leuosredrotur pue leroos tueal or eoeld aJes B seprnord Burltes dnor8 y

'lue_else-Jl3s lenpl^lpul tsooq uBf, tBql aoueuedxa crtnederer{t 1n;:anod e

st dnor8 er{r ur srer{to 3urd1ap1 'rar{toue auo ruog sllHs Burdoc urBel pue

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B sB1t\ JaPBJS r{lJnoj A\ou Jno^ }l 'suolsses ^\eJ B uI r{ll/v\ ll€eP eq uBf,

sruelqord Alttue; Lue14 '4e6lu ruret troqs e Lllensn sr Lderegl .{1tueC

'Sururen leuoltlppe srql roJ 1leqc

'tsrdeteqt alltf,edsordB jo sleltueperJ aqt qcreesa: nof urtlA 'uollernPe cISBq stq puoL

-eq Sururerl ,i,dereqr ,i11rueJ enrsuelur q8norqt sao8 Lllecrd,il lstdereqll,11rue; y 'slsr8oloqcl,sd pue stsrlercads esJnu cutetgc,(sd 'srolasunof,'sraryozlr

IBrJos ere Leql 'suenrs,{qd rou ere ststdBJaqt Llgue; tsoy4

ilerltlrf, L11eer sl slt{I

.CCV tnoqe elqee8pal^4,oul eqs sl i;lesrl dl",{ or '{rrpge s,,(11rue; rno/. ro;tcadsar aurnue8 e^eq ot rueas eqs seop ro ,{11ure; rno/. xt| ot Buro8 eqssl ireq a>p1nol oq 'L11rueJ e r{tIA\ l'lanlroaga {ro^\ ol I'l111qB req uer{ltuetrodrur ssel /,1qeqord sr uonetuelJo ounadereqt s(leuorssa;ord y

'l(deragr PePaeu L11ue; ra! ]l esn Plno/r\ aqs

oqr!\ Jeq lsB 'leuorsse;ord qrleaq lBrueu Pelsnrl e A\ou{ noL;1 'suoIlBP

-ueunuof,er ro; sraCCV rot{to 1se 'tstderaqt rnoL ro; dogs noA uaqlX

'Suutas dnor8 eqt ur sleo8 rreqt alerqre ot senbluqJel tuereglp l'1lq8t1sureel pue rq8noq] Jo slooqf,s ruarel;lp ruou eruof, slsrdereqr Allrueg

'lBuorssejord lenpl^lpul

uB esooqc no,{ dl",{ ol {ro/!\auBU e se /,dereql ,(11tuB} lnoqB uollBlu-Jolq lereua8 eruos JelJo ot tuBA\ em 'peelsul 'd\ou lI A\eIAaJ l(uonl eA\

'sreleg eqt taru eA\ uaq^\ Ldereqf Lltuey lo olor er{l Pessnf,slP a^\ ef,uIS

'Jeuaq suolt)un' tl os ruets.fu ,(11ueJ eqt alnlf,nrlseJpue selor eleudorddeur Jo plSll rrreelun 'Apealc eJolu atef,Iunululof,ot rueel ot paau sJaqruau,{11ue1 'slqt qsrldruorre oJ 'llun relqllear{e eruof,eq Llpre; aqr dleq ot sI Lderaql LltrueC;o leo8 /'reruud eql

/.de.raqa dgureg

'alqBuoJtuor

Ieej t(uop no.,i, fl 1ryd1eq eq IIp{ dnorB oN 'la^el tro;uroc rno,( a8ne8pue slf,ultsul rno[ ]sn{;no,{ ot IeoJ tl seoP ,v\oH 'Suturof rnoqe 8ur

-{qqr ar,noL dnor8 eqt Jo ,brleuosred eqr rno {caqC 'seltlleuosred e^Br{

sdnorg 'e^Br{ sreqruaru dnor8 reqto sruelqord }o sPUII teq^{ pue l,deraqrul eq ol patcedxe ere nod 3uo1 ̂aor{ rno PuIg

'qeo8 s,dnor8 aql lnoqBsuorlsanb >1se 'LderegtotlcLs4 dnorg [ue ot ylasrno[ llruluoc no,{ ero;eg

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llJI)edS 'reProslP ro sseulll raq tnoqe uosred B sar{f,eet uorternpeoqr^sduorleJnpeoqeds4

rBrf, oseBurrerrrrce;.',"r.,"9,S"":Iffi i;lil;'H[i:iff 1lli;PeJuelJedxa ue jo sef,InJOS er{l salnbar dnor8 slllls lercos e ,dnor'B

uoddns B eIIIun 'euo ezrue8ro ot stlnpB CAV reqto gtpr trauuoror elqB aq rq8ru nod 'eere rnoA ur dnor8 elgBIrB^B uB eABq r(uop nod;1

'elzznd tuerutBeJt eqt;o ecord Inlesn B aguec sdnorg sllllS lBrlos

'asBr ,(ue u1 'ccv e^eq l(uop stlnpB lBr{] srse-qloddq egr or {f,Bq^{orqr B sr srqr sdeqred .srlnpe roj dlarer rnq sruaf,-selope puB uerpllgc oov roJ elgBIrB^B ueeg setl ddereql dnorS qqJ

'Surltes dno.r8 e ur eorl-oerd cgrceds-eures eqt sr alf,rqe^ eqt tnq (tuere#lp eq Leru sreeevro; sleo8 eqJ ,lasreq arnportul pue tf,etuof, e[e eleur o] Burureel se

qf,ns 'lsapour eltnb Lllensn aJB sseulll letueru erenes gtlm lBnpr^rpur uBro; sleo8 eql 'suelqord

leuortotue ro letueru erelas reqto pue eiuarqd-ozlqf,s gllrlt eldoad lBeJl ot pesn ueeg z(lleuorrrpeJt enetl sdnor8 eseqJ

'sJorleqeq eleudordde aJoru,zlrauartnboe ol rueql [Pttt Pue suoflenlls IBrJos ,(e1d-a1oJ sJeqtuau dnorgdpoelp rueqr_r{f,Eet sdnor8 slllls lBrf,os

'{slllls-esarlt qsrlod ot seprunl'roddo aplnord,(pcelput sdnor8 11e q8noq,tV'suortesreluor atertrurpue senf, IBqJeA-uou pBoJ ,surnt eIEt ot ureol sJequeru dnorg .sJer{to

Jo sessaf,f,ns p^rrB srorre lBrf,os egr 3u1u3sgo ruou Surureel puB sllllsSurcrreerd ro; Surnes e aprnord or pazrue8ro are sdnoro slll{S IErf,oS

3u1u1era sllHs IBrcoS

1d11ue; eqt tnoqtr^4, IIaA\.t"^ Irg^ t(useop Ldereqr ,i11rue; rnq reaj Asea ue eq rou rq8t* riqf 'dderaql Sutuut8ag eJoJeg d11ue; rno,{ ur euoLrone ruo$ tuarutrruruof,

e le8 ot luetJodruy s,r1 'sserSord 1lolq sJaqrueru tuosqe asnef,eq uorsses

qf,Be roJ lueserd eq ol raqlueu ,{11ue; drana tcadxe lllm rslderer{t eqJ

'srea[ JoJ uo oB ],uo,l,ideragr aqrtnq rsrdel".{r aqt^qtr/!\,(lyeorpolred ur lteqt ot paou tq8rur d11rue; rno^isuortsenb auros 3ur1se uBts plnoqs nod ,Lderaqt peuers noL uaq^\ lqoi

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'urerSord eqr Jo((setenper3,, ro; sdnor8 Uoddns Suto8uo gflm PaJnlJnJls eq fg8nu surer8

-ord eruos 'suolssas cglceds Jo snloj eqr eq Plno/t\ l,11ue; eJllua aqlroj uortetnpfl 'sar8aterrs Surdoo pue elll Jo se8ets tuaro#lp te tced

-xe ot terllv\ 'slce;;a epls pue suolteclPeru lnoqe uolleruJolul aplnord' plno/K sJeCCV ro; ruerSord leuollB3nPaoqcfsd e 'lt uotsl^ue e^r sV

'runJoJ alrtoeJatul uB ur aceld eTBlplnoqs uortmnpaotlcLsd e^Itoe#A 'sJePBeJ Jno qll^\ lf,BJalul J(uef, eA\ leqlsr uonetuJolul Sur8ueqJxe roj runlperu slqt jo a8eluenpeslP aql 'esJnof,

JO 'se^lesueql etef,npe ot esn uef, sraPBor l€r{l uollBluro;u1 aplnord

ol ueag seq tl Sunuzn ur leo8 JnO 'uonBrJB^ Jot{toue le,i. sI Toog slt{I

'[ep aql Jo pue eq] tB oluoq {teqSurpeaq eueld B uo sr raleads eqr asnef,aq elqrssod J(usI dn.mo11og

'uonentrs tor{s-euo B are ,{aqt lnq leluJoJ JBIItuls B esn saf,ueJsJuoS.uon€uuolur eJeqs ot sJe{Eads Surlnpeqrs [q rt ]o uoItBIJ€A B aterodJoout

sdnor8 uoddns COV eruos 'erult slql tE CICV ro, uollecnpaoqc,{sdpezrue8ro oltrll sI aJeql ,{rrleer ur tng asuel lueserd aqr Pesn a^eq o71N

'tl roJ [rlpqtsuodser erotu serunsse Pu€ arec qrleeq rag ]noqB alqe.a8pelmouI oJotu sr Jatunsuof, eqt qlHr!\ ut ruats,{s oJBf, qllBer{ B PJB/l\o]elour eqr pardruord slql 'sassen8 tseq aqt lseel t€ ro sre^t\su€ aql qll^\

IeuorsseJord agf sB^\ aqs 'tuellf, Jeg JoJ suoISIcaP aPeru or{r!\ leuorssa;ordI{rlBeq letueru tueloneueq 'cttstleu:eled B }o se/v\ IePoru ImIPauI PIo eql

'sJaI€u-uoIsIJeP aAIlcB se sa^Ies-ureqt slenpl^lpur eqt-erec qtpeq letueru rler{t ruog Sutsstur ueeq

per{ aoerd tuuuodrur ue teqt eJBA\e .(18urseeJf,ul eulof,aq e^Bq sJetuns-uoC .r{tlBeq

lBtuau ur lueruenour Jerunsuoc Surznor8 aqr tuog penlo^aseq rdotuoo eqt 'sdnor8

leuollesnpeoqcAsd peal sPIeU snoIrBA ruorysleuorssalord g8noqrlv 'srualqord

leuortoule ro leluaru Hrlrn eldoad ro;alqelrB^e sesJnoseJ er{t o1 uorlrPPB /nau Llanrrelal B sI uollBJnPeoqcLs4

'stlnpB rue8rllarur sB pelBen ar,faql JI sa^lesueqt Jo erec ra]teqeIBt ot ureel uec aldoed palqesrp ,{leranes ueAA 'lelluetod reer8 serl

r1 ',trr1ear B uetlt gsl,n B Jo erou q CCV ro, uollernPeor{3,isd q8noqr.lV Jlesraq r_oj eref, ot ureel uer tlnpe ue tBqt sr eldrcuud 8ut,(lrepun

eql 'srualqord lenplnlpul a8eueru ol loot B sB peptnord sI uolterurolul

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saJeqs PUB secllJes Jeq seteuop eqs (dnoJ8 eqt setetrlrJeJ leuorsseJoJd BJI rBqr luetuerrnbar e uauo sr ereql 'luatue^lo^ul

lBuorsselord;o fuee1ueuo ere sdnorS ,{puanbasuo3 'tuetua^oru dleq-Jlas oqr paf,BJque e^BqAueru 'rueruqsrlgBtse

leuorsseJord aqr Hrlrn fuSuy .urats,(s qrleaq letueru,,1Saq.,lroul eA\,, € ol asuodseJ B se dn 8uruds ued ul eABq sdnor8 rroddng

's8urtaeru egr SurrellllteJ pue Surzr-ue8ro surnt eIP sJequaru agr 'pearsul 'Japeel tuauerurad ou sr eJaql

'VV sB qrns sdnor8 derg'an1el[ u1 'sdnor8 esaqr peel puB ezrue8rosef,I^Jes qflBaq lBlualu Jo sJeunsuof, sesBJ lsoru ul 'suollBuoP gflrlt

elerado ro e8regr Jo ee5 e.re sdnor8 esaql '?u1"wrqs pue Suunc uo 1,11e-raue8 sr snf,oJ eqJ 'raqto qf,ee ol dleq elqBnlB^ur rarjo uBc sreqtuetu

dnor8 Fnpl^lpur ter{r sr sdnorg rroddng ro 'd1eq3les Jo eleuorter eqI

sdno.rg poddng ro d1ag,;1ag

irtBuurf,ulS uIsn ulol uec no[ 'BaJB rno[ ur dnor8 B pul] l(uBO nor{;l sdeqre4 .Buo1 oor

erojaq aceld uI srqt elll urBrSord B e^Br{ II,ea 'Ir.l qrllN .uonBf,rpeu

puo[aq pepeeu lderaqr Lluo eqr eg rq8nu ]r 'eruos roC .tl;o a8etue^pee{Bt 'sraqqy ro; ruerSord leuouef,npeotlc,isd B }o aJBA\B etuof,eq noL;1

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'dals tsrrJ 3ql aq sdearrlB plnoqs uorlBrnpE 'paau no,i dleg leuorssa;ord"to PulI eqt euruJatep ot elqBun eq Leur no/, 'sruelqord rno,{ Jo eJnlBu

ar{l puBtsrepun no.( llruo 'trBts or aceld aqt aq Llqeqord plnoqs 1l 'serderaqrogclsdJo t$l 3uo1 eJo puo eqt tB sreadde uorlras srgr g8noqrlv

'8uru:ee1eluBque ot pesn eq IIE plnor 8ur,ie1d slor puB fureod ,surllj ,uorssnosrpdnorg 'stuedrorrred eqr Jo tsaretur eqt ploq pue IBrretBU eql r{cBet ol

sanbruqoal leuortBf,npe;o &auen E esn plno^\ repeel poo8 V .spoqteu

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JoJ peeu B-suosBar Suorm eqt JoJ seloJ drqsrapeol eunsse eldoad atuos'Llqenar8ag 'dlaqJles

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'sdnor8 lenpl^lpul Jo ,brlenb aqt ur ,{rrpqeuen lear8

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'sJsqlueru

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qllBeq lBluelu B qll/tt re{ro^\ IBIf,os V 'sraPeal dnor8 Uoddns surBrt puB

sJolluotu oqt\ JoteulpJooc dnor8 rroddns B serl 'elduruxa ro; 'yleuurf,urCreleerc Jo llf,unoc cov erlJ'sraqtuetu slr ,o ,irlllqrsuodsar eql surBtu-ar dnorB eqJ 'satctlod ro suer8ord s,dnor8 aqr rnoqe suorsrf,ep eIetu

l(useop aqs 'aa; B roJ ro srler8 esruedxa JOq sepr^ord ags Jeqleqt\ .dnor8e;o Llllenb aqr anordurr uec tuetlnsuof, IeuorssoJord e Jo seorlJes eqI

'peel aqr 8ur1er eroJeq sdrqseorruarddeelJes PUB LuBJSord eqt lJo/t\ [..[ 'stuedrcrued se aul] Surpuads Jetjealor dtqsJepeel eqt aunsse sJaqrueu 'aldruexe JoJ 'dnor8 snoulLuouy

sf,Ilot{of,lv uB uI 'qo[ aql uo ecuauadxa ure8 osle uBO srepee-I 'suorsses-lqru crpouad [q pazuollo; doqs{ro^\ pualee/h B eq ueo Sururert aqJ

'uorsserSSe legran gtlrn Burleap ro; sar8atBrls

puB sctrueudp dnor8 Jo srrsBq eqt qsBel oslB plnoqs tI 'esngB pllgr olslrlupe oqrv\ euo Jo reqluelu dnorS IBplJIns B qlr/t\ Fep 01 ̂roq pue l,rr1e-ltuaPlJuof, Jo senssl epnlf,ul plnoqs Sururert aql 'Sururen atuos e^Br{

plnoqs uieqr 'sleuorssa;ord l(uere sdnor8 uoddns jo srepBOI eql q8noqlly

'Surzrlodouour are slenpl^lpul d\eJ e teqr ro eraq^\ou Suro8 aqol sureos rBqt uorssncslp e alelnturts uauo senbruqret aseqJ 'srqSnogr

Jaq eJer.ls ol 'urnt ur Jegrueru r{f,Be Sur8ernof,ue Jo sJeqruaru tualls [uo{tndut ro;8ur1se sB qf,ns sanbrurlcat asn ol speeu eqs 'eualJetur ot Jepeal

eql JoJ atun s,lr 'JeAerr\oq 'uorssnoslp eqt aleururop or surSeq euoeuos;1

'atnQlJtuof, ot aag st euod-rane puB tseJelur uretureru sJeqruetu JI aur;sl ccv Hrla,r Surdoc rnoqB uorssnf,slp pernl3nJtsun ue ,eldruBxe Joc

'PePeeu sB ernlsTurs PaPPB aplnord ol uI dals ol paredard eq plnoqs rotBtl-llcey dnor8 y '/.saunof, uounuof, Jo salru puB seulr Surpue pue Suruets

lnoqB selnr qsrlgetse plnoqs dnorS aqr lBqt 'qSnoqr ueeru saop 1l 'rol-elllllBj aql Lq tas BPuoBe ue grirn ateldruof, uonBzrue8ro pFp E e^Bq

plnoqs dnor8 eqt ter{t uBetu t(useop slqJ .crdol B ot If,rts pue surnl eIBrIII^\ sraqrueur ter{t os enrteJadulr sr eJnlcnr}s 'dnor8 rroddns CCV uB ul

'l,1pcr8o1ot1cLsd unq oq rref, sreqrueru taqroue auo tBaD ot ^\oq lnoqB selrurBelf, lnoqlllN 'snroJ B lnoqll/t\ sraPuB/t\ uolssnf,slp eql JI Suyroq euof,aquec dnor8 uro;.ear; ri11erot V

.uorledrcrued Alruntroddo lenbe ernsueot selru eq lsnu erer{J 'rltoerlf, oot sr dnor8 eql }l tsol ere dnor8 dl..{

JIes B Jo slrJeuaq aqJ 'erntf,ruts Jo {oBI B sr ualqord lerluerod reqtouv

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898

'JeqteSol Surureal eJBoq^\ eldoad uo tno uraql 8urfur JoJ Buare acrloerd eqt apl^ord sdnor8Sururerl sseuelrlrassv 'ureqt ]noqe Surpear rsnl Lq ureel ot tln]l#lpere daql '.slll1s eseql qrBer ol rduene $looq Lueur q8noqlly .ueqr

Sutsn plone pue uolteoluntutuof, Jo seporu enrssarsSe Jo elrssed ezruSo-f,or ol tueel sluedrcrlred dlaq ol sr Sururerl sseuelruessv;o leo8 er{J

'peleoluntutuoJ eq l(uol\ a8esseru rnor{ 'lso1

st lutod rno,{ tBr{r an8en os Surqreuros des ro plnoqs no,t Surqleruos[us ol IIBJ no^ raqretl4(\ 'uorlerruo;ur due aplnord ](useop tl 'elnf,ageur

dllenba Etl rnq IBuoItBluoUuoJ eq tou l,eul uorlef,runruuroc onrssed'rapuaJep e pue re1celle uB rltr^\ ataldruof, spunor8alrreq olur suor]

-BsJaluoc urnl reqr uorlesnf,f,B Jo sluetuelets eJB sa8pssaur notr anrssar8-By 'aurelq erBf,runruruo) t(uop reqr s8urlaa; pue speau Jo sluaualels

Jeelo 'antuesse eJB sa8essetu eser{I :erdeqc JarlJBa uB ur peuouuatu eA\sa8nssaw I aW aottcerd uBf, JaCCV uB 'suorsses Sururerl sseualruessv ul

'ssauen8el eAIssBd qlyn Suuemof, Jo spueunuoJ enrssarsSB qtrl\ luauoQ-do raq JeAo Surlmoq Jeqlle 'uouectunturuoo e^rrf,aJla gllrn ,blncr.glp

seq uerlo aqs 'lFpB CICV uB JoJ Sururen sseuenruesse pueunuoJar

,(FI31.{ e/X\ 'seuo antssed Jo aAISSeJSSe ueqr JerpBJ sa8esseru enruesse ytlrnr(pea1c atef,Iunturuof, ot tuedrcyrred eqr saqf,eat Surule[ sseualruessv

Eqqela ssauearuassv

uBe,u,o.,o,ffi ;l?*li#,HT,f ,:;#:sK::,'"rJ:1,^il'.:g;o s,i.amns crporJad se qcns 'lorluoo f,fllenb JoJ tusrueqJeu eruos puesrepeel eqr roJ uerSord Sururerr e ro; [qqol ol erns ag 'dnor8 rroddns

e Suruels lnoqe Surlurgr sr leql uonezrue8ro uB Jo ued eq rq8lu notr

'ur\o rnor{ 8u[uro; JePrsuof, Jo auoreqtoue roJ Iool

'uo Suro8 Ereqm grl,r alqerroJruof,un IeeJ puB dnor8e puane nod yl 'dnor8 aqt setutlfcey eqs ̂roq e^resqo pue Surure[ peq

sBq repeal aqr jl rno pulC 'suorlsenb 1su pue Jeunsuof, esr^\ B eg .dnor8

dlaqlas e qceordde noL ueq/r\ ruaur8pnf pooa rnod puedsns t(uoq

'srapeel eqr ot Sururerl pue uoddnsaplnord ot slu€tlnsuof, pleA puB Jeetunlon gtlrn s>Fo/rr aqs 'punor8lceq

iilzvuc uo ordrus'xzvl JoN I^{,1 NVal{ no^

Page 386: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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eroru Jo uorlf,urys^p ot peel oslB suelqord eseql sar[\y' 'rC or Surproccy

'tuaruo^oru ,(poq pue errusod prem{^\B puB uorlBurproof, aLe-pueq pueeruBIBq grlrn zblncr.glp 'gcnot ot ,brrrrtrsues ePnlf,ur asaqJ 'srualqord

IBJeAes ecuetredxa III/I\ egs 'sesuos f,rseg eseql Jalseur t(usaop IBnplAIp-ul ue Jr leqt sezrJoeqr 19

'[rrzrer8 qrlm drqsuorrelar arnf,as B puB euo]elf,snu 'acueleq

1ecrs,{gd 'arnlsod 'stuatuanoru ade pezrue8ro-lle/n o}

speel sesues eeJr{t aseqt Jo uortBJ8atur l,pea 'tuaurdola^ep IBtuJou qtl716

'eloq \ e se ,i,poq eqt puB sued [pog lBnpl^lpulJo uorlrsod pue lueurelorr eqr esues ol ,b111qe eqr Surnlonul 'parecrld-rrrof, eJoru leqlreruos sr uorldacoudor4 'ecuBIBq 'asuas JBlnqltsel eqr

pue rlf,not seAIoAuI esues alltf,Bt er{I 'sesues anpQacou4o.rd pue Jnlnq-usaft '4lifri eqr epnlcur uretsureJq eql ur paler8erur sesues Jrseq aqJ

'retel dolarrap teqr 'Sutpeer sB qf,ns sassacord parecrld-ruof, eroru roJ uonBpunoJ eql seuof,eq srqJ 'e8e

1ooqf,s saqoear pllqlB arull aql dq Jlteruolne seruof,aq Llleraua8 'aro;eJeqt 'tndur fuosuas

;o fualse]z\t 'nreJII ur ,(Fea drlcedec IBuoIlBzIueBro s(uletsuleJq er{r Joruaudole^ep aqt uo spuadap lnduy IBnsrA pue fuorlpne xelduroc ol tcBer

ol ulerq eqr Jo Lt111qe erp rBqr slruqns eqs 'lS Jo eere eqt ur qf,reaser

pue Sulrlrr\ elrsuetxe euop seq or.{/r\ }redxe uB sr serr{y ueef 'V 'JCI

'O-I ro/pue CICV qrl^{ qen-pl^lput Lueur uI uelqord aroc aql sr uouf,unJsLp uorrer8atur ,i;osues

terlr e^elleq ststdereqt IS 'esuodsar anrtdepe ue se{Bu puB Jeuueru

tuerf,rlre uB ur erep fuosues saaue8ro ureJq Suruoucun;-llel\ eqJ 'esn

ro; rndur l;osues Jo uoueaue8ro eqr sl uoner8alul fuosuag tparfl

'looq srqr Jo edocs eqr puo,{eg sl uorteueldxe pellelep B puexalduroc reqlBr sl IS puF{aq fuoar1r aql 'slsrderaqJ

lBuorrednccg l,qpef,rlf,Brd pue pedolenap ,tderaqr Jo ruroJ B sl (lS) uoner8elur fuosuag

uoue.r8elul d.rosuag

',blnltcnpord sanordrul uollef,-runruruor elrlre#e rBq] Suuroul 't1 ro; ,{ed or 8ur1pm ere daga 'sillIs

uollef,Iunruruoo Jrar{t ef,uequa ot seel,oldue Jreqt ol SurureJl Ja#osetuedruor Lueyq 'selllsJanrun pue sdnor8 dtrunruuoo g8norqt elqEIrB^Bare Laql ',blunruuor rnor{ ur dnor8 B elef,ol ot ,tsea LFp; eq plnoqs rl

.r.dvuaHl euohl aNV rdvuEHJ

Page 387: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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Poqraur elgenle^ B eq IIIts tq8tu 19 'sulre1f, aseql uoddns ot slle; qf,rBesar

eJntnj ellsuatxe JI ueAE 'uortuane pue uorteJtueouof, panordtur sB qf,ns's1aae1 raq8rq lB uolter8atut fuosuas penordtul Jo sturelo ,stsrdeJeqt or

elBler IS 'o slcadse uanordun aql 'qf,not grl,n sertlnlrlJlp pue ef,uBIBq'uotteutproof,

lectsAqd arrordrut sdleq IS r€qr slse88ns r{JJBaseJ ,ser^(y :q

'rt Sutl'pnts ueqt [dererp Eulop uo srseqdura eroru eceld srsrdereqr 19 'sprom Jaqro u1 'ra^{ padolanap IIa^,\ ueeq t(uaneq acrtoerd aqt }o stcedseqf,reesar pue lBf,rteroaql eqr l^qzn sl slql sdeqro4 'suelqord ol qoeordde uo-spuBq clteuSerd e ue>1er ,i11ereue8 seq ldereql leuorrednf,f,o 3o aurld-llslp eql 'tr sanordsrp qsrBesar petrlull rBqt anrt oslB s(tr tng 'srrJeueqstr Jo sturBlf, s,15 srroddns elep patrurl ]€qt enrt s(tl 'ls uo etBp qf,rBas

-er o^uroddns Jo llBI eqt ot patBler sr uorsrf,ep sF{r roJ uosBer lsrrj aqJ

'[deraqr rueeJ]surBtu e sB IS epnlf,ur ol suoseaJIBrenes roj peplrep eA\ 'slqr grl,n Surllsarm rerlv .ruersls qtlBer{ IBr -uetu paqsrlqBlse aqt Jo sreglualu petsedser pue penlB^ orB oq^\ stsde

-rerlr leuorredncf,o [q pacrrcerd sr IS lBq] sr epls dtu eql 'ldereqr enrl-Buralle elqBuorlsenb B sB peqlrf,sep ,{Fuanbau sl IS

'srgeuaq Jo srurBlf,

slt uoddns ot r{f,Jeesal tuerorllns 3ur1ce1 'uorrdo tuotuteoJt B se ,(de-reqJ uouer8arul fuosuas uouuaru Lllensr t,usaop arntererll qCIV eql

'uortBlnrults jo sle^al Je^\ol Jelsetu puB etBJa-lot ot surBel tuallf, er{t sB uorlelnruns eqt eseeJf,ur [11enper8 o] suors

-sos eqt sueld [11n;arec rsrderaq] aqr trrleer uJ 'uorssas ,ie1d pasrnradnsB uBql erour elnll eg o1 reedde uec Aderaqr IS

'ranresqo IBnsBJ eqt oJ

'uoltotu ut dpog req Jo esues ar{l ratseru tuerlr erp dleq or spreoq retoorspue sdruer PUB af,ueleq Jo esues eqt ofelnrurls ol s8urns sesn ,ideragr

IS 'Peqcnol eg or elll t(useop oq^\ tuarlf, B r{]r/v\ [1zno1s pue ,{1rua3

s{Jo/t\ tsrderaqf oql 'uol}Blnulfs alltcel saprloJd urls s(tuerlf, eqr ofernsserd patldde ro Surqsn-lq snoro8rn 'Surqqng 'tueruelour pue uortrsod

[Poq PUB ecuBIBq (qJnol Jo suor]esues f,rseg er{t azrue8ro or ,trrpqe

s(tuetsulBrq eqr uaqr8ueus ot pau8rsap sr lderegJ uouer8erul fuosueg

'Sunperuos SurlcnJlsuof, Jo slrsualnSurrea Sursn 'Surtum;o Arrnrtf,B Inlesofund eqt rltrlr\ eJaletur qllls

pef,uB^pB erour esaqt ur sdeS 'uJnt u1 'Ll111qB]s lBuortotue puB le^el

[rlnlrce 'ueds uol]uene ttrnrlre Jororu pauueld sB r{f,ns '{qllls peoue^pe

iIIZVUC UO Crrdnrs 'LZVI rON h{,J NVAhI nOI

Page 388: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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sB ureeJtsurBtu oqt ruou pe^olueJ JeJ se eJB lBt{] eruos lnoqB PBOJ oslB

IIIllr no 'no^ ot rerlrlue; Llqeqord are reqr eruos rnoqe pear IllA\ no1

'stlnpe CCV lenpl^lpul ro; stlJeuag ro#o rq8tu pue /.ezn Lue ut 1n;

-luJeq ruaes t(uop teqt eruos pepnlcur e^Bq e46 'serdBreqt eAItBLrIerlB jo,tteuen B ra3$o sreleeq [qdosollqd eBy A\eN ro sre]uec Sutleeq f,ItsIIoH

Ade.raql earleurellv

'no,i. ro; Ierf,r;eueg eg lq8rru pue sselrureg sreedde Lde.Jer{t 19

'urerual suousanb pera/lrsueun Lueru q8noqtly 'uoltuene rno'{enordrur uele rq8ru pue ecuBIBg pue uolteulproof, grlrn dl",{ rq8tu r1'uortdo uB sB ,tderarlr IS replsuof, ot tuelv\ rq8tu no[ 'l1npe

CICV uB sV

(('ruBel PUB elBrluef,uoJ ol seIlIIIqB

s(uerpllr{f, eqt sef,ueque tuarudtnbe stql Sursn tBr{t Pe^resqo seq eqs'sllnseJ eqr tnoqe JrtsBrsnqrua sl eqs 's8uules eseqt uI uourruof, sI spreoq

JetooJS pue s8ur/hs Jo esn eqt teqr stroder aqg 'edoJnE uI tuooJsself,rJossatuoy\ B ul pe{Jo1!\ Jer{f,eet s,ratq8nep ̂tu 'sleaz{,{ueur JoC,, 3yX

'erult 3uo1 e JoJ unlnf,IJJnf, sllotur seldrcuud 19 pererodrocul seq 'edorng ur ,i.pelncnred 'uoneonpa

rJosssetuo]Al 'enlen s,Lderaql IS Jo stunof,f,B letopf,eue Sutstruord osleaJB oJer{1 'Lrnful eqr ssed/,q ot suoJneu ueel\teq suollf,auuof, se8ro;

ecrlcerd tuetsuof, sB uIBJq ar{t uI peteaJf, are sri,eunqred ndaN 'ecttrerd

q8norqr slll1s Jreqt ure8er ot ureel ueryo sruuJrn aIoJts 'eldruexa rog

'Pe^erleq,i,lsnornard

ueqt alqeledeJ eJotu eJE ruets,i.s snonreu pue ureJq eqt rerp 'reneznoq(ecuaplna Surmor8 sr ereql 'pernleu pue padole^eP Apeerle seq tl ef,uls

anrsuodsar ssal eq plnod\ ulerq tlnpe aqt tegt parsaS8ns eABq suedxaeuos 'uarPllqc

Jo lualulBerl aql uo PesncoJ sBt{ qrrBeser IS elqBIIB^v

'sTsel reqto uuoyed ol ,{8raua lBluaru dn aar; plno^\ slrp 'Llqenlef,uoC'urBJq pepBolJa^o ue uo urBJts aql ef,nPal PIno^\ surals,{s ulBues ut 8ut-uortrun, panordurr teqr 1ecr3o1 sruees osle rI 'uollf,un; ol Ll111qe s(lenP-l^lpq uB qtr^{ aJejiJetu ,{lureuac uBc esuBIBq PUB uollBulPJoof, Jood

'ccv Htl,n sllnPB eruos ro} lualulBeJr ]o

Idvu:rHI Edol/{ oNV IdvusHI

Page 389: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'uortf,Ber srql Surcnper ul IrydleLI a8BssBur pulJ ]r.{ftlu no^ ,eser eqr $ $ql;1

'dderar{r ueqt aJnuol sB eJoru a8esseur acueuedxa rteru nor{ ,paqf,nolSuraq eTISIp nor{;1 'relelrror{ 'euori;ene roJ l(usr ddureqr a8esselnl

r'qr srs'r yrr,n adoc ol ur'rrs e^\ sB uorsuer "rr."*t5l1tr:rtji:i

f:;;oqt sn Jo asoql ro; 1n;d1ag arrnb eq uBf, slr{I 'qrSuarrs pe^\euer puB

acead;o s8urleeJ qrln\ r1 Suroeldat 'uorsuat eJnper uBf, tl 'uorlexeler 'o

turo} srqt ot se^leslueql tBert pue aSessBtu tuog lljeueg eldoad Lueyri

'funfur [ltpoq esnef, uec 'e8esseru snoro8rn sasn oqt\ uosradPsurBJlun uv 'aSesseur

Jo ef,rlf,Brd a;es eql uI peurBJl sBq oq/r\ tsrderaqtpesue3rl B roj lool ol erns eg 'rl fui ot eplrep noL;1 .uoEBXBIer

lBlueluPUB Jelnf,snul eAaIqcB of ,ipoq eqr Jo uortelndruBur sasn Ldereql a8esseyrl

ddereqa a8essu;,11

'reQclv ssellser B roJ{oBqA\BrP e eq plnor teqr acttrerd pue euldrosrp Jo IBep tear8 e selnbare8otr tezremoq 'enncaga eq oI 's8urqr Jaqto Suoure 'uorterluef,uof, pue

uollBxBler satoruord r1 esnBceq rlnpE clcv uB roJ lerf,rJeueq eq plnor11 ,{rtunoo srql ur pef,rtf,erd Llapl/t\ l,usl 11 'tlnser e sV .,bercos uretselgJno ot UaIIB st tn9 eJBf, qtleoq leraua8 JoJ lBrlualod snoturoue seq e8otr

'slBe, eseql par€pllB^ puB peprocar

"1".{ stsrluerss 'slBof, a^rl reno 3ur>11en ro Surteeg urou suBeq rreqt

Surddots sB qf,ns sleeJ Surpunotse ruroJrad ot elqe ere s8otr paqsrld-luof,f,v 'tqSnoqr aldrurs 'e18urs B uo pultu raq snf,oJ ot 'aut14nslp a\]

("q sanq o\m auo'l3o eqr alqeue ot paurldrcsrp ere Apoq pue punu eq1

'Plro^r ePIStno eqt ruo{ Ilnruts Jo tnqs ot Surureal ̂q ssausnorf,suoruart181ag ot sr leo8 eqJ fpoq aq] Je^o fualseu ure8 ot sasrf,rexe pcrsl,gdpue SurqleoJg (uortBllpetu sesn rBqr aurldrcsrp uerpul luarf,uB ue sr e8otr

eEoa

'suondo lue{uleeJlIuuorlueluoJ aceldar ol tueqt esn l(uop (ueql

;o Luu fut ot eplcap no[;1'lrydleq 3q_tou ,{eu ro deru reqr slueuteeJl leluauuadxa sB senrteuretpeseql preSar plnoqs no^ '/r\ou erotu ̂\eJ B ppB or 3uro3 er(offi .uounef,

Jo spro^\ euros papnllur e^eq a/l\ '1ooq srqr lnoq8norql iaq uBf, Laqr

IiAZVUS uO ArdruS',LZVI tON r^{,1 Nvahlno^

Page 390: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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ilueurqsllqersa IBf,IPau eql rlq l(usBr{,(1urer-JeJ ll lnq tseof, tsa^\ aqt uo relndod anbruqcel B sI ,oa8esseyrl uleJg

ieuoz rqft11rru eqt lo rno rq8rerts s,rl JI se spunos teqr Lderaqr er{t s.ereHa8ussu;,11 ulurg

'alqeuoJtuof, pue elrua8 are sanbruqcet eqt Suturnsse 'asnods Jo puelJ,e uo e8esseru uuoyad uBf, Jnelerue uV 'elueruelle uB eq uuc sa8essBtu

Surpen 'ra8pnq rnol, puo,{eq ere tsrderer{r pesuef,Il B qtl/t\ suolssas JI

'sssue^rsuaJeP ellrf,4 Yrllt euo,tue ro;

In;asn aq rq8nu e8esseur crtnaderaqt ter{t tsaS8ns suoder letopreuB reH'qf,not ol uorsre^B aqt eznrsuesep Lllenper8 ol peu8tsep sr ,i,dereqr ra11'req ot rueqr perraJar e^Bq $srnerr{cAsd esoq/t\ sluellr pesnqe ,{11enxas

IBJeAAS grlrn 8urryom ,(1tuaunf, sr sJno Jo ef,uBlutenbce ue 'aldruExa Jo{

,}

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or q8noue lsBj l(usl retnduot aqr ef,urs 'dSolougrar aqt ur qcrr18 e;ollnser eql sl{rlleeH lenuln }o Iertuetod orlnaderegr aql ,,ilSurtseratul

'uolrlsBJ slqr ur peurBel ,{11pear orotu eq plnol sllHs uorleurproof,Jololu,{ueru LlqenracuoC 'peads JetsBJ B re slll{s eqt ecncerd uBf, er{s'orreruorne euroceg qll]S eqr ueq/N 'Lroruaur ut ueqr sexrj r,Irlrr; arls

Illun qlpls.Surqclec actlcerd,(lpeteader uBf, uosrad V 'uortotu ̂rols

q sl IIBq aqt trrleag lentrln ul .punor8 erlr Bu1u1q eroJeq dlznols erotuPs^otu rl JI IIBq u^rorql B q318f, ol urBel ot tuerlBd e rol rersBe aq pFo^{ rr 'aldruuxe JoC .sn{r sluenerd ,iryner8 jo af,JoJ aqt tng .aced Ja/hols B }B euop

eJe^r [eqr JI ralsee qf,nru eq plno^\ sllHs rolotu Surureeleg .stur]rrle>loJts Surdlaq ur lertuetod slr paau8oreJ aler{ sraqf,reaseJ IB3rpalAI

'PIro^\ elBurallE srqtur e133n[ ol ureal ro e>ll9 B eplr uB] eqs 'plroA\ pelereue8 relnduoo

, B ulqtrn\ stf,_B l,11enpe tnq ,saas l,1uo tou tuerll eqr ,selBBoB pue trns[poq pazualndruoc e Suruuoc .plro^{ e]Euratle uE sateen r"qi L8olou-qf,er relndurof, e sr ,Alprg lenurn iauo re8uerts uela uB JoJ ̂tou puv

Argeag 1enr46

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sLe'ruetsl{s aununur eqt Jo luauoduoJ

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uaeq t.usBq CICV Surreerl ur ,tdereql uortezrlensln Jo sseuelltf,a#e aqJ

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Page 400: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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orulre;Il reUB apltlns peultutuoc [em8ulueH pue 'set]lllQesp Surureelere^es PBr{ uosrPg PUB urolsua 'PelqnoJl eJeA\ uBzol/\I PIIB ossBsld

'serrlnrrlJlp Surureel ro suralqord qrleeq lelueu grlrn pe188nrrs d:olsrgur stsuJB pue sJe{qqt elrtBeJf, lear8 aqr Jo LuerysuleJq pezllBlf,eds ro

IIIZVUC UO ArdnJS 'LZV-I ION l^r,l NVEIAI nOI

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98t

2rbrnuearf, ot etnqrrtuor urerq CICV eqt Jo SuurznprBq eqr seop ,v\oH'slqt patou ,{lpereeder aABq uerpllqc CCV Jo serpntg .uosred

,,eBEreAB,,ar{] uBqt e^rlBerf, erotu eq ot pual sreQCIV 'dnor8 B sB lBqt lrBJ B sr tl

'sureJq pazrlerf,eds rno1o rred sl rJIS srqr rer{r tairemoq 'ryrugns e/Xt 'pernunu sl tl J} pef,ueque

eq uBf, ,btntlearl 'rred uI 'anrt eq ̂(eur slqJ 'sesseuleal\ Jno ssudLqol ((self,shu,, eArlBeJO Jno esrf,Jexe eA\ leql-stuelqord rtueru os Bururoc-JaAo Jno ruo{ sllnseJ ,{ltntlearf, slqt teqt pefseSSns aleq sJelrJA\ eruos

',btntteart Jo IJIS eqr ereqs sn Jo ,(ueu 'seyr111qeslp puB sanrlrqe;o a|;ord

IBnpl^lpur uB sBr{ sn Jo qf,€e qSnoqrly '8ur1urgr enrleurSelul q raqraS-ol aruof, reql seepl pue srqSnoqr porurolslp Jo l,eue lse^ eqr ur ]red

e deld -saop tl rnq ,blnlteerf, esneo t(useop drrpqrrcertsrq ,blnltearf, roJalqlsuodseJ s(leg/v\ r{ltcexe eulrruelep or elqlssodur s(tl 'ureJg pezrlercedss(raclclv uB Jo uorssncslp rno ul ,blnlrBeJf, peuoDualu e/a, :d1ranue.r3

'a8palznoul rnod Jo asn elqenlB^ur e{Bru uec noit 'sallryqernod eznurx€ru or alll rnoA u8rsap uer no,( uerl{t 'a8pelmoul

Jo [poqcrlf,elf,o pue Surrsarelul uB qlr^\ dn papue no iIuBq fuouratu rnort ur

uouBwoJul snoeuBllsf,snu Jo slol erols puB ef,rlou o1 nor( alqBue plp tnqseper8 rnod padlaq a^Bq rou rq8nu s8urqr ,{ueru os ,i.q petf,Busrp Bulag

iBrArJt;o erpedoltdcue uerung B eJeA\ nol, leqr 'ranezn_oq_'uorlueru t,uplp rer.{f,Bet eqJ.dt111q1roerlsrp rno/, jo uorlreuare ued e8rel ur eJe/h stuerutuoJ pue saper8 lonpuof, rood eql ((.stueeJp

-["p' ' ']set uo,{els l(useoq,, sB qf,ns stueruruof, pue tJoJJe pue lf,npuof,ur saper8 rood pulJ rq8lru no[ ,sprec uoder loor{rs rnod ̂\erler nod;1

'tl spuetuep rl 'uorlealerceds stnu-rad /'1uo rou plro^\ tlnpe aqr rrBJ ul 'r$lerceds B eq uec nol, ,l1npe uesB lng 'SutqrfuaAe le poo8 aJB oq/h stsrlBJeue8 aq ol patoedxa are uar

-Pltgc esnBceq aSetuenpe rnol, ol $rp esn ot elqB l(ueJe^\ noL pllgf, B sv

'sluelet PUE slse

'Jalul IBnPIAIPUI ol Peqf,lBlu eJe slsBl ueq/h,ilanrfca3ge tsoru saleredo urllol ol drl11qe uV '{sBr uasoqf, B uo elgrlueouof, ot suortoeJlsrp lno 8ur-{lolq;o elqedec 'r1npe peuruue}ep B seluof,eg ueuo pilqc uroqgnts er{J'pooqrlnpB ul loor 8urdof, In3ire^\od e aruof,eq uBf, srrlJ .>lser e ol W Itol

[rNmuoddo oJ E'rsvrsso nouc

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98t

lsure8e pJBnA ar!\ JI 'op sJeqro ueqt alotu qsllduocf,B ol ,(8raue eJtxe

eql esn uBf, alN ',btntloeradr{g rno Ieuueqc /,11n;asodrnd ol Peurgela^eq sn jo tsoru 'sllnpe eruof,aq e^r erult eql l,q teqt sI sA\eu poo8 er{J

.pauueldun ere ̂eqr jlssalasodrnd pue tuerf,rllaur aJB suoltf,e s(JeCCV aqr tanen\or{'deru stqot Suure;eJ tnoqtrzr\ tno suBts oql\ uosrad ,i;aru1ap eqt or JBIIUTIS ilse;

auop s8urqr sra8 regr of,IAJas ra8uasseu pldeJ e aq uec ,btnrrceredLll

2peuoqd nod rerye satnulul aar;-,$ro; r(ltcexe ef,IIIo s(Iralf, eqlol IIIg aqt sJelrlep e^ueluasardal esor{llr af,rnJes ra8uassau prder rnog

euo e 11ec nol, plno/r\ JO latel s[ep o/vu SaAIJJB tl ueq/lr l,rleuad agr/,ed pue IIeu reln8er [q rt pues nod p1no16 'l,eporuld

0O:g Lq asnog-unof, er{] uI enp s(tBr{r IIIq xet ,bradord rnort JePrsuof, s,la1 'srelJBls Joc

&Flreerad/.11 ;o a8elue^Pv eql

'sluarualels SursseJJegrua lnounlq,(lpefrcxe a^\ sB sera3uelut 'btntslndrur esnBf,aq [lsnotras ueIB] eg

rou rq8nu e/v\ tg 'L1esrf,uof, pue Lpeell ruar{t ssardxa or elqeun eq tnqseepl teer8 e^Bq rq8nu elN 'ereyatul seltlno|$lp reqto asnBf,eq pedder-un surBrueJ serurleruos ef,JnoseJ lnyaznod srqr

"{lerBunuorun isPuIuI

ut\o Jno ur uorsses SuruuolsuleJq luetsuoJ B uI seAII Jno aAII uauo elil,

'sJa/v\sue Suour ou eJBeJer.{t 'lle

}o tseg 'ssacord enneerf, aqt or stesse elgenle^ul ere tq8noqr

Jo sureJl Surmop eary JnO iSututeuetue pue SurpJBA\eJ ,{lsnourouassecord srqt purJ sn jo l,ueyrl 'uralqord pasodord B ot suoltnlos elgls

-sod dn ureerp sluedrclrred 'Surleetu Surtaryeur alerod:ot B Jo SuttaeuL11rue; B sr unJoj eqt Jeqtar{A\ 'eldruexa ro; 'uorssas SurtuJotsuleJg B ul

'seepl antteut8eur ,i11ryrepuo1n grrm dneruof, ot sn selqBue e1,bs 3ur1un1r rno 'srqSnoql lueSranlp pue luBne

-laJJr LlSururaas uael\laq suouoeuuof, Sutteutcse, Jelof,slp e/n 'sfaurnof

Ieluaru Jno uo go oB Lgddeq eA\ sV '3u11uqt eAItBeJf, ro; tuelet eteuuluB eABq sn jo l,ueyrl '8ur1urqt :,{ttnneeJf, Jo tuJo} Jeqloue 'lenemog 'st

eJeql 'sJotf,B Jo suerf,rsnru 'stsnJB pelualel ere CCV gtlrlt stlnpe Luey4

'sBeJB Jeqto pue srqt ur eBetuBApB elrlf,uuslp B r{tlzr\ sn Jo eruos apynordol srueas Suurmpreq erp 'paremsueun sulerueJ uoltsenb srqr q8noqrlv

iirzvuc uo ardnrs 'LZvl JoN hr.l Nval^l no^

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L8e

E qrrd\ tlnpe enrsrf,ep B atuof,eq uBf, A\ou tq8u Surqrl;ele stuBn\ oql{

PIF{O CCV elgBllBsul eql 'Peef,cns o1 e^rrp B puB uorlrquB er.uof,equec itttntslndrur 'ppon

1Jo/rl eqr Jo uolssnf,slp rno ur tno parurod e/K sV

'laal us^euB uo s8urqr dael ot s{ro^\ eJI^\ rulef, srq ollr{^{ Sunserelul eJIl se>letu

asnods elqBrlf,xe ar{I 'ller!\ tno IJo^\ ueuo uBJ sluoueradurel etrsoddogllrn aldoed odu uealUeq a8erueu V

'stuetuBJeduret f,rtetueJp eJotu

Htlrlt satBtu ot u^{BJp are eldoad ur1er,{ueru pue tf,BJuB op sarrsoddg

iseJnlBu elqBllf,xa oJoul gflrlt esoql se SurtsaJetul se LFeeu eq touLeru tnq qtlllr a^II ot JersBe ag deru stueru€Jadruet rulef, grla,r a1doe4'tulg ot eldoed smerp letlt e1ryeds jo ernseeur Brtxe uB qtr/!\ tlnpe uB

seuof,eq ,{lruanba{ pllqt ccv Lpoour 'elqelrcxe eqt 'uorqsel rBlltuls ul

'arnlctd egr ra8 no,( >1urql e^\ tnq arnseeJt Jo rlcJees ur a13un[tseJeeu aqt JoJ Jo peeq noL regt puauurof,er t(uop a^\ /y\oN ipeqteJsunadecsa puB-Jaqtoue JaUB eJntuenpe Surtrcxe auo otur a8unld oraq anrs-1ndur Jno qctel\ eA\ sB ueeJ3s er{t uo petenrJ ureurer sade JnO 'eldoad

sppo-lle-etuooJeno 'f,IurBuLp '3ur>1et-isrJ eJeA\ deql terlt moul no^,i.stullJ eJntualpe uonf,B luef,eJ ur seoJer{ er{r }o euros tnoge {ulqr no[;1

iSurlrcxe eq UBJ aldoed enrs-lndrur esneceq pBq t(usl sarurleuros sural esoqt Suruesool lng 'paureJ

saslndrur rnof Surdaa>1 ]noqe 1ooq srqt tnoq8norqr s8ururezn lBJaAes tno

Pessot eA(ellt tBrll A\Ou)I a/x\ 'A\ou seAlesJno tsrpeJtuof, ot 3uro3 eJ(e1x\dfla;qndurl;o a8que pV eql

,,ijb JeAo eq l(uBJ nort 'q3,,'turellxe aldoad Suueeq lear8 s,tl 'IIoJ re8uno,( qf,nru Jo tusersnqtue pue

,i,8reue 3qt e^Bq ot tuaes e16 'alll-pltu rlq eA(e1K ef,urs 'rana,roq ,tno

peue^e sBq eJof,s aql 'sraad Jno purqaq s:ea,( rq8re ot xrs tnoqB ueeqsdemle en(e/rr ter{t ern8r; sJoqtne aqI 'a8e elpplru ul tesse uB eq,{eru

,{trnuceradLg 'seotetod qcnof, aqt Je^o a8pa uB rurq Surnr8 ,rr; r{11ecr-sLqd puB rurls l,ers rurq dl".{ oqe l,eur Alyrrrrce premol elrrp s,reCCV uV

'saltrlrqrssod ma; euoltuetu ot 'tsoq Atoqs-TIBt ro uedxe suortelal rrlgnd 'ueruseles redns e

euof,eq uBc eH 'selo] tlnpe Jo f,relren e IIU UBO reecly 8uy1pt-tseJ V'se^II enllf,npord pue SurprezneJ aABq uBf, e^\ 'rusrloqeryo^\ otur Surprls

ArrNruuoddo oI ElcvJsrro r'{ouJ

Page 404: You Mean I m Not Crazy

88t

pulru snorrnf, 'ssallser B spoau Jotuelul uV 'uorsselord srtl ro; per;r1enb,{lanbrun sn eletu ter{t serlrlenb a^Bq op sn;o Lueru tng 'uoslpg .r]AI sB

tuBrllrrq se IIe e/v\ erB rou srotue^ur eq or tno tnf, erB stlnpB clQV IIB roN

'sreqf,Bar sly Jo euorp eqt ot Suruatsrl puB suortetrralssolpue Sunuro;-red 'stce; Sularorueu Jo ueprnq eqt ruo$ peery se/v\

1l ueq^/\ suoDue^ul jo Jequnu SurqsruotsB uB pelBeJf, pultu elltJsj srHlelqrssod IIB rl aperu oq^\ ruol ot epnrrter8 qtrzn os op en\ ''tu'B

00:t tesratndruof, Jno Jo ruoJ, ul trs a^\ sV 'fuorsrg st ',{es daqr sB tseJ aqJ 'rlnpe

fueurproenxa ue Sururooeq 'paqsunog eq e8elarnr s(Jeqlou srq Jepun'petBrJarddeun pue pootsrepunslru 'enrtdnrsrp-eloq punor e ur 8ederenbs e sE^\ eH 'reeqv ue;o lecrd& sr pooqplql s(uosrpE setuorl1

'srsou8etp aqr ytlm srrl dlureuar looqrs ur ror^Eq-aq arrrrdnrsrp slH 'CCV peq e^Bq rq8nu aq teqt 'ranemoq 'req poo8

B s(tl 'sruelqord Surureal cr;roeds uortueu t(uop pooqpllqr s(uosrpg Jostunof,f,e 'sLep esoqt ur u.roulun aJelr seurlrqeslp Surureel eours 'aruoq

tB rurq rq8ner pue eper8 .{UtJ er{t ur looqrs Jo tno urlg {oot reqtous1p1 'aJIJ uI ernlleJ B oq plnollr aq tBrlt petrrperd pue ',bryqrlcertsrp

pue Surrrr/!\puerl srq pezrf,ltlro 'rulg elpueq t(uplnor srar{f,Bel srH'polqesrp Surureel se uosrpE seruoql or perre;er e^Bq sroqtne Luery

rolueaul eql

lare no/. s8unlr Infapuod\ eqt IIB reprsuoc no,{se epud Jo lueuoru B tseal tE JlesJnod no11e pue senrlenb ut\o rnod azru-8ocer 'ulaqt pBeU 'selJots ssef,f,ns olur etEISuBJt UBJ sf,rtsrJatf,BJerll CCVeseql s,(eA eqt etBJlsnlll lBr{1 seqf,le]S Jelf,BrBqf, eluos tB lool s,lel A\oN

iJounq Jo esuas snoe8ertno pue Inlapuom rno,igrlnt sJer{lo urrBr{c ot elqB eq l,uPlnon nori. 'uortlqlqulslP rno,( lnoqtr^4.'l,11eutg 'etercerdde sreglo teqt ,brlenb Surgsar;ar B eq uec ,bsauoq rno'A8o1ode Jo luerusseJJBque lnoqtr/t\ sasseu{Be/!\ Jraqt rlrupB Allpear uec

euofuane roN 'tlerl elqerrrupe uB aq uBf, a1&s rg8prlrro; V 'tasse uB

euof,eq uec Surqtfuena pue Surgilue Les ot ,brpqe IBJntBu rno,t 'spronr

Inprnq llqlqul ol ureel nod;1 'epls dn ue sBq osle uolllqryulslp lBqran

'peaJl ot JBaJ sJeqto aJer{/!\ ur Surdunl,i,q ssaccns eteJtsaqoro UBJ ar.{ 's1su patBlnf,lef, eIBl ol sureal tlnpB

CCV enrslndrul eqr JI 'auop sBurqr 8urua8-arnsolf, roJ peeu Suons

ii,\zvuc uo ardrus'LZvl roN r^{,1 NVEIAI no^

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68t

'CCV pBr{ aq erns ru(l ,tcadsoner uI .e}ll Jo

sertrssef,eu Ieortf,erd egr;o eapl aplll pue sllBtep roJ peeq ou qtr^\ uetu,i,eoeds B se^r Jer{te} oql 'uortualur e18urs B uo tualed eqt qtp\ ri.euoru slrepetlr peq or{^\ l,11uu; ,{qrleern B ro} rmd nV uB sB pe{ro^\ eruo L, 3XX

'tseJelul jo BaJB uB ur eouelsrsJed ueurnq.radns rlqlqxa UBJ euepuntuSurgraruos uo $Fo/n eq ellq \ alqltf,Busrp Llq8rq sl orl^\ raeCIV eqJ 'rol-uenul eqt lo s{colq Surppnq eql ere 'ryom t(usaop uounlos e ueqm 8ur-A.n dee>1 ol af,uetstsrad aqt r{trlv\ peldnoc 'uorteldsur

Jo s>leaJts eseql'ulalqord B ot ra^\sue ar{t tnoqe tgSlsuy Jo qsel} aql-of,uauedxa ,,iBgV,,uB ot speel uerlo ssrul eldoed reqlo tegt sdrgsuorteler pue s8urqt arrtouo1 dcuepuer CCV eqJ 'lnlesn Sunperuos otur padolenep pue pallpoureg uBf, iiegr eJoreq seapl PIIrr\ srosueJ Pulru poJntf,nJts sJolu B esnBf,eq,{trssacau e sr a1,i.ls Surlurgr Surlaeqnee{ V

'/.;srtes Jelau uec er{ teqr

dr

a

D;I

I.loil

IrrNnJuoddo oJ alcvJ-sso },\oul

Page 406: You Mean I m Not Crazy

06t

-Breqt eq uBf, tl 'esodJnd erues eqt senJas reprocer edel B otur 3ur>11erteqt pug [eru nol '8ur]um a{ll t(uop noA;1 'seapl

Jo {tBI B uer{t erotuuorssardxe uaurrn\ Jo rualqord B ueuo sl slqJ 'atrJ/v\ ot eter{ [eru no1

.3JBqs sJar{touolteruJorul pue slq8rsur elqenle^ eql qtr^r ssecord Surtum eqt speaJ

oslB tnq,{ruelndod seruequa r(1uo tou uetsll ot [rrlqB oqJ 'ue]srl puBsuorlesJaluof, ur suJnl alel ol lualuof, eJoru eJB eA\ 'lalndruoJ eql otur

srq8noqr rno Suunod rar;y '/,eme eldoed e^rrp um teqt sessef,xe leqre^ro; raltno uB saprnord pue uorsserdxajlas ro, tsrrqt B ser{cuenb 3urru46

'rq8nelsuo leqra^ eqt urou [e^ne Sur8pe ur8eq

suoruedurof, Jno sB JeAo azel? ot uets saLg ispJo^\;o penbs Suur; e Surce;are /,aqr 1ee; Leru oqr!\ sJauetsrl Jo stseJetur pue sueds uortuen€ eqlqf,teru Lllensn t(usaop TIBI ot peeu JnO 'senlesrno sserdxe ot eurt pe

-ldnuelurun 'palurlun;o ,i.rnxnl eqr eABq t(uop elr 'suorlenlrs tsotu uliuottdnuetur lnoqtr^{ IIBI ot ef,ueqc e Surneq ueqr rarddeq sn seleru

Sunpou rnq sJapBeJ Jno tnoqe /r\ou1 t(uop el6 'eseeld a,l sB qcnu sB

4el l,lpulj uBf, e^r teqt sr Suuuzn tnoqe s8urgr 8ur,lsrres tsoru eqt jo euo

'spulru CCV rno otur [lssaproga dod srq8noq] Ianou puB snoe8euno

'se1o[ 'sroqde]ayq 'seepl;o e8eueq eqr seunt-oulJ pue sedeqs ssaoordSurrrpe aqt '{pelooc l1tuarf,U+ns seq lduosnueru eq] uaq/v\ 'rete1 'rueql

Josuef, ot paeu aqt rnoqlrt\ sJetndruoc Jno otur A,\oU uec srq8noqt JnO

'sn Jo' ar{Jru poo8 e sr SurtyJl\r leqt acuauadxe ruo{ A{ouIe/N 'ssaf,ord agr ur stesse lear8 ere seurlenb qqy dueru teqt o^arleqe16 ',{ftnllealf,

IBJntBu s(JaCICIV uB elBnnJB uBf, ssacord Surtum eqlrell.rA\ aql

,,ielll peq B r{f,ns toN' ' 'seapl ateraue8-rseq pp eq rer{zlt op ot eruit peq eq ueqJ 'slletep Llpp eqr elpueq ol

sJeuepJBB pue srelznel 'sluetunocf,B 'sredee>lasnoq eJrr{ ot l,euour q8nouaPBq er{ '[laleunlroC 'a]ll L11ep ro] sllHs r{ueru 3ur>1ce1 uetrr E sE^\ eH

'ellq^rqlroar ,(1ql-peJf,ul oruos pue L11ts ero^\ uraqr yo Lueryseapl f,nsetuej Surteraue8

erun srq tuads eH ,{qrleam ,(puepuedepur turq eperu pBq uoltuelur srqesneoeq ra8uol l,ue >pom ot peeu ou peq eq 'tulq A\euT I eruu eqr rV

iiAZVuC uO qrdnJs 'xzvl roN r^{(l NVE1I nol

Page 407: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'a8reqc q aq ot sleltueperc radord eqt e^Bq t,uplp eqs tlereuntroj-un 'qf,rBaser eql,o uollf,erlP eql lnoqe seepl u^\o req PBq aIrrBS lBtll

se^tr qol slq] qtl^\ ruelqord Lluo aql 'srcalqns r{f,reeser aqt Jo sa^II eqrotur Surnlep pal,ofue aqs ]Bqt perenoJslp eqg 'ryt8 pelcadxaun uB ere^\

sllHs Surznarn:etur JeH 'tuetsrsse qf,JeeseJ e se qol 8ut]seratul uB SurpuelLllenruana '/.3o1oqc[sd ur eer8ap e ra8 ot looqf,s rq8ru o] tuellr eqs

'jlesrer{ ro; sleo8 eruos e{etu ot peplrap eIrrBC 'reqtoue

or qol e8em runrulultu Suuoq euo ruou Surr;up pue sa8alloc lera^esto tno Surddorp rerJv 'slll{s papeeu er{t urBel or q8noue 3uo1 snf,o; olalqBun ro peroq oruef,eg eqs sE ruer{t peddorp [11ctnb lnq s]seretul ro

sreerBc snorrB^ tnoq€ sllsBlsnr{rue ,(gaug se^\ oqs Jlesraq Sutpur; /,r1nc-$lp teer8 e^Br{ ot peuees aIrrBC 'l1npe SunoL PuB luecseloPe uB sV

'saper8 rood pue luslrltlrf, tnq alnll uI patlnsersrq8noql pezrue8rosrp 'pelqulnI pue Surrrurpuetl l,ssaru reH '8ut]trm

PePIo^€ eqs lnq Surpear sem lcefqns e]IroAB] reH 'ryol\aluoq ro slcafordur paurnl Alarer pue seper8 arcorpau,{1uo peAIeJaJ rnq rueBIIIatuI sE/!\

aqs 'stuered pue sreqf,Eat raq peturoddesrp ef,ueturoled looqos raH

'sJelsBJBqf, e^elleq-e{Blu Jeq aJa/ll

suotueduor ,{1uo raq '[11en]ue^E 'plJo/n rar{ uo PaPruluI or{A\ euo[ue tepelreus eqs 'sarsetu€J pue s1ooq qrl^{ perdncroerd Sutruof,eq 'sraad raq

paprole eqs 'asnlf,eJ e erueJag aTJJBC 'uortoefar 1o sree,{ ,(ueur JaUV

-,uasq€reqparnrrprlsraad'"ilLit::';iT:tfffiT.t':il::T*TJHot 8ur,{rl sLeunle 'rre88erg E se^\ eqs esnef,eq uerPIIr{) Jeqro ̂q Peuunqs

sB^\ eqs 'pllqr [ddetlun puB ]lnf,I.#p t 'aJII req ur tutod srql ol te8or peleneJt eqs pBoJ l,1cor eqt Jo eJBA\Bun eJB oIJJB3 Lnue oql\ Lueyq

'$ eqs ueqt ra8uno,{ sree'{ uet tsBel tB s{ool oq^\ etalqtecrta8raue uB s,eqs 'slseJetul

Jo r{reuen qf,IJ B pue spuelry esolf, ',{11ue;

e 'ralrln B s€ ssef,cns relndod pue IeoIIIJJ 'Leuotu :lle rl aAEL{ ol stuees

eqs 'spuel5 req dq palurpe pue pollue sI pue p1o sreal' 0g sl eIrrBC

'eJII req erueque ot SuttturroJ UI8 B esn ot peurBel setl oq^\ ueuloa CIAV Suruoolq-erel e;o Lrolseqt sr 3uuro11o; er{J ilceq IIBr t(uo1!\ reprorer edet eqt esnereq ctlnad

AIINnIuod.IO oJ SICVJS8O l\OuC

Page 408: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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sv 'sluelBt anbrun req etBrJsrdde ol etuBJ srer{to 'ourqs [1pur; plnoclertuatod rag 'suolrdecrad1las entte8au ruog peerC 'sef,ueturenbce pue

sPueIU Sutlcerlle ue8eq aIJJBC 'I;erroosrpJles Jo ssef,oJd s1t1l Suunq

'tsrl rellas lseg aqt uo sProf,areTorq 1oog raq uer{^{ rodlcef eqr tlq eqs .le^ou B pue serrots uoqs

'selcrtre etrJt\ ot eturt eABq ot sesJnoc Jar{ paddorp egs ,lualet Surlumreq pera^of,srp eqs rauv 'ruerSord atenper8 rer.{ peqsrurJ re^eu eqs

:aded eqt otuo esBe gtlrn r!\ogot ue8aq spron\ req 'Surtrr/\{pueq tnoqe uJaf,uof, e [q palagunf,ueun

'slq8noqt raq ezrue8ro ot raq rq8ner peq Surpear jo e^ol s(errreC .l,ueu

Jo tsJrJ etll 'reded ,,v,, uB sB/!r rr Alsnolnf,eJrlnl 'Suuago lsJrj Jeq uJnteJ

ol rossejord eqr roj petrB^\ eqs sB r{tBerg req pleq puB slrBu req trg eqs

'tl asn ot ̂\or{ peurBel puB retnduroo e Lnq ot pepllap eqs ,looqcsetenper8 ro; uolteredard ul 'Tq par ur perenof, sreded Iooqls aper8,{sseur;o s,(ep eqt ef,urs Surlrzn pepro^e peq rnq slset 8ur1er re poo8 sB^r eqs

^{eul oIJJBO 'Joleepue d\eu Jer{ Jo ued tsalJeJs eqt sem sreded 3urtu46

'l,8o1oqc'{sd ur ruerSord alenper8 B ur llorua o] e8ernoJ pue eJuepr]uof,eqt Jaq ene8 tuered B sB sseJf,ns Jeq pue Surrlsrtes re8uol ou sem qofraH 'sseltser ta8 or ue8ag errreC 'looqcs pauBts uerplrql eqr ueq/N

'atuoq tB serlrlrqlsuodser rag ruo$ pepeeu eqsatrdser aqt peplnord qof eurr rred y 'suelqord Suuear-pllq] allos ol,blnlrearf, puB uotleut8eur ollrreJ req pesn aqg 'paLofua uerplrr{r aq]

puE eqs seur^rlf,B Sursootlc 'ssoq u^\o req Sureq pe{ll eqs .uerpllql o^\rJo Jeqloru eql uoql Pue ell/r\ E sB sJBed leranes txau agl pe,iotua aqs

'uarpllqt petuB^r s[em1e pBq aqs esnef,aqerrrBc roj elull Lddeq B sB/r\ slqJ Llpe; B roj ueld or ueSeg puB peruelu

deqr 'Lepqurg qtanrlqt req uO 'ryoA\ rag g8nonlt teru peq eqs lsr8o-loqcLsd B qlr/t\ af,uBuroJ snorras B pBr{ erJJBc '{eJII req ur turod srqr tv

'Puno, perl eqs eqclu aql rdacf,B ot paplrep puB ereed yo arnseeurB punoJ peq aqs 'eerSep pef,ue^pe uB pelnbar rBqt IroA\ ur InJssesf,ns

eq or ,{rrpqe req tnoqe stqnop psleerf, arnllBJ;o fuorsrq 3uo1 re11 .suortdoJeq ssasse Lllectfslleer ot PUB uolteJtsn$ Jeq /t\olle^\s of pe8euetu ar{S

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e6e

(stJods aqt Joj JBe^ fuene [auoru ]o rol B pesreJ uoItJnB e^BIs ,{r1nce;B ro, eepl srH 'ruord eqr aIII sruene 8rq ro; spun; esler pue ezlue8roor 'br|qe srq pasrerd e111e sread puB sreqf,Bet stq'sctutePese uI IIe/v\

op r,uplp eq q8noqllv'urt[roJ af,uetredxa ant]tsod B sB^\ Iooqss q8lft

'seroqf, eseql oP or erull PelIuII {rlrltstuered Surryon eJe^r stuerlf, slqJo [ueru esnBceq In]ssof,cns seA\ ssausnq

srH 'srueet uI IJoA\ ot sra8eueer lecol PauIBJt PUB PaJIq eH 'ssaulsnq

erBf, ulv\Bl pue SurdeaIasnor{ B pauBts aq 'plo srea,{ f 1 sezn eq uaqlN

'sarlrAIlcB luef,seloPBrreqt ro; [euou eq] pepeeu [aql esnef,eq tuerue8uBrre er{] gtlrlt Lddeq

eJeA\ s8urlqrs Jeplo srH isateJ tsaJalur alrssecxe teqlraruos tB sJatsISpue sJeqroJq slq ot [auoru Surpuel 'sseursnq Sutlueq eq] ol uI luen\

eq '.pllrlt SunoL B sV 'eslo auo,{ue ueqt raIIrBe sraded er{l Pare^IIeP eqasnereq u^\ot ur etnor raded rsaSSrq eqr peq eg 'dae1s eltrll palnber aqpuB ssalpunog sem ,(8reua srH 'estrfuelue

PUB ,brleuosred stq PaTIUPBeII sF{ ur sllnPB aql Jo '{ueru 'sruelqord rrruepef,B slq SurlooFa^o

'Jeuueul

Sur8e8ua uB qf,ns peq aq asneJeq 3uo1 ,Llarr uH gtlrn fuSue pa,{ers raneu[".1a 'rulg uo g8nor oo] t(ueJell\ sJeqf,Eal slq tnq ryo/v\ Ioot{f,s slq uo s(J

PuB s(c ,(lrsoru Pa^Ief,ar eq PIIqI E sv 'rllsllulldo pue ,(lpuetr; sl tulf

:nauerdeJlua Iryssef,f,ns e 'rur[;o fuots eqt q eJeH 's8urqr oP ol s,{eznpanordrul pue A\au tno 1ees ot Sutureali, arnteu slg 'rneuerdeJtue uB sB

IBJnlBu E eq uBf, JaCQV alqEllBsur 'sseltser eql ,,'[1lun]loddo uB sB lIslroldxa pue 'ly of spuodsat 'a8ueqf, JoJ saqoJBas s,i,en1e,, oqr!\ auoeluos sIrnauerdarlue atql '4rysutaua.t4auuE

WD uonaftouq P roqtne pue fuuoq1-nB tuarua8eueur tsorueJoJ s(BJIJeury 'rrre>lcnJcl

C Jeted ot Surprocf,V.rnaua.rda.r1ufl eql

'ef,uere#lp aqr IIB epeur r;13 petrngraq Suuelof,slq 'eJII req Jo seqf,und aqr gll,n IIor PUB Jlasreq re q8nelot rar{ rq8ner e^eq sreeL eql 'uarpJllcpuer8 pue Surrtrlrr 'Sutlelerl

,o suorsrn 1n;,(ot 9rl,n ,(epgurq qrelul, req SurrBrgeles ^\ou sI elrrBc

'acuetdef,reJlas puB ereed daep;o rurod E peqreer eqs

llrun nor8 ot penuluof, ef,ueplJuor raq 'sattro; req q8norql Pe^ou eqs

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Page 410: You Mean I m Not Crazy

,6e'sBepl u^\o srq qtr^{ Leld ot ecueqr eql

sr JotBnrtou dreruud eqr-,tauour eqt t(usr tl ,ull[ Joc .lBturue paSece e{ll IeeJ plnot\ eq t8reua srq lauuer{f, pue qrosqe ol stcelord srq lno

-qrl/N 'alqBluqtun sr luaruarrteJ tnq 'elotu/.uB >lro^\ o1 peeu t(useop eH

'sessaf,Jns sseursnq slq Jo staJJes eqt Buueqs Jlesrurq JosoaPl^ 3ur11as sseulsnq ISIrq B seop osle eH 'sretuer ere3 Lep eureria8Jo ureqc e Suruado;o furpglsea; aqr Burl,pnrs sr pue uarpllqc Bunodlllrtt seIIIluBJ ol sJelef, IBI{I ef,IAJes uoltef,Bl e Surdole^ap Allueuncsl eH 'sreluer arBf, ̂"P PIt.{r Tf,Is Jo urer{f, srq pue errnres Surueelc

ulY\ou] [lleuorreu sly JoJ sasrqf,ue5 slles or{^,\ uetu ,{qrleatr B /r\ou st *i[

eqr or -uo Burnoru Lpaaee pue Buorm lue^\ rer{^\ rno Buuna]]",i:iiirfi-xa Sutu.teel sB sarnllBJ eqt pesn srteznle ser{ eH 'paredsord teqr ,{ueru

PUB PellBJ lBql etuos 'sasseursng snorerunu petJets aq 'sree[ aq] JaAO

'sasudrerua Surppnq sFI ot uortuelte srr{3to^ep ot purqeq qooq sI{ rJel dFaSea eq 'pelenperS eq ueq/N .ruerSord

{il,\I

/1l,lUr{fil

l\ iiil jlI

illl-\

rl

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-retunof, teqt stsaretul pue tJoddns;o lto^\tau qf,Ir B pedoleneP sBq eH

i srelcod (sJouop Ieuuel-od;o tno [auou eqt sureqc [llecrrcerd ep1 'SursrerpunJ ul s]esse eJB

ursnuudo pue uorssed srH 'saf,uerpne srq ezrJeurseru letlt suoltelueserdetEeJJ of ,{frlqe SuEce PuB rusBlsnqlue 'rournq

Jo asuas slq sesn all '8ur

-qf,Bet JoJ spJeA\B snorerunu uod\ serl puB sqt8uarls r{ueru ser{ tJeqog

'dnor8 eqt urog etuor slceford qf,JeesalarntnJ Suru8rsep pue BtBp Suuard.retul roJ seepl tseg eqr Jo etuos 'uoll

-edrcrlred s,auorfuena e8ernoJua ler{l suorsses Surrelnrults eJB s8uuaeruqf,reaseg 'ryo^\ tB unJ e^eq pue sqof rlaqt e^ol ruee] eqr uo a1doe4

'lcuarcr$a lead ]e uouf,unJ ot rueal r{)reeseJ slr{ pezlue8ro seq tJeqoU

'sloaford qf,reeser eqr Jo slletep sselPue PUE tuerue8eueru eglselpuBq tuBtsrsse tuerf,rlle srH 'plJo/v\ agt JeAo IIB suollelueserd 8urnt8

pue 'sluer8 pue sraded Surtum 'stcelord qf,JeeseJ Sutu8tsap 'sluapnls

Surgeeel erult srq spuads er{ oJaq/y\ retuef, IBJIPoU a8rel B qtl^\ $lro^r eH

'suadxa lef,usuels r{tld\

,(1rue8r11etur {let ot pue A\ou>l ot spaeu aq Sutqr[ue tno puIJ o] sf,Itsltets

;o a8pel^rou{ tuerf,r;Jns serl all 'asudretua aqt }o rotf,erlp enlleerf, aqt sBstuelet srq esn ot aery sl eH 'srcafqns qf,JeeseJ slq sB tdecxa sluat]ed,(ue

ees t(useop eH 'qf,reaser leorSololq ul [rlelcads B t{tlulr CIy\ uB sI ]raqog

'eJuelf,S Jo PIJOA/\ eql uI eqf,Iu SIq

punoJ ser{ oq^\ TaCICV ue 'lregog tearu s(te'I 'drqsecrtuardde;o srear(

llnor.,Jlp egr g8norqr re8 ot uorsrn esn uBf, lslluelf,s eq-plno/v\ /,rueerpar{] tng 'r(eA aql 3uo1B /!\oq-^\oDl lBf,Iuqf,al pue slll{s 'slce;

Jo esnoq-eJots e alnbce ol peeu op stsllualf,S 'plJo^/\ slr{t }o aldoad BePI er{r JoJun; oq uBf, stlnseJ lsel Sursrd.rns Surzr{1euB puB sesatltodLq SutreJaueo

'JauBeJp enneut8etul uB eq or sPeeu 'renamoq 'sluetu

-uedxa aseql su8rsap oq^\ lsltuelf,s eql 'uoutsod poo8 E aq lou rq8rur

llerap Suttcexa sselpua pue slset antttledor jo IInj 'qoI s(uelrlut{f,4] qBI

V 'Joleepue e^rteaJf, ̂lq8t.{ e Sananoq 'eq uef, tI 'tlns Suorts s(JeCCVue L11ectd,b t,usl teqt uoISIOeJd spuerueP acuelf,S 'ef,uelf,s

ro PIJoasnoro8u eqt ur rl; plno^,\ CCV gtl,n rlnpB uB A\oq rePuo^r rq8tu no1

lslluel's aql

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Page 412: You Mean I m Not Crazy

96efq8noql Jo UIBJI B sesol eq ueq^{ fuoureru srq 8ot ol srar{to slse ,umopSurqrLrane selrJ^\ eH 'JornBqeq srq e^Jesqo Llpyareo no[;r snornqo s(]r

-acv sEr{ IIIrs eH 'lnJsserf,ns OJII sH Jo sBerB aql IIe e{Bru ot speaueq sllqs Surdoo eqr padole^ep d11eug sBr.{ ueqog ,eJll-plru ul ,r\oN

'?Jt1 slq ur af,uelBq eqr urBturBtu or pallBj aq re^auaq^\perellns osle eSeurBur puB qrlEeq slH .sllBep er{r puB sdlqsuorrBlerer{r jo erer alel o1 pe]f,e18eu eq asnBf,eg ruBet qf,rBeser pooS B puB

sluerS,o sarJas e rsol at1 'lurod auo ]v .suossel petuea prBq srq loSro;eq re^aueq^\ pace;rnsar dllecrpouad suelqord lnq dlqtoorus erolu

unr ot ue8aq alll srH 'sdrqsuoneler slq ul pue IroA\ tB perueuadxasdemle peq aq surelqord eqt puersrepun rulg pedlaq tl .tr;eueq paroedxa-un uB PBq eJI^{ pe8uertse slg grl,n ue8aq eq Surlesunof, a8eureur eqI

'd1".{ roJ paeu srg pa8pel/r\ourf,B ar{ laarec pue a8eureruPallEJ e;o rcedsord aqr SurcBj puB pauarqSlr; tleuo'I 'Iro^\ slq q lueur

-a^Io^ur-re^o srq qrl/\{ spuaru slq Jo dueu ruou puB req luo{ luBlsrpeuof,eq pBq eH 'erro^rp roJ psllJ ree,( e Jo eJI^\ srq ,arurt srgr Suunq

'lro/r\ llerep yll,n [rpctglp srq o1 pelBler sale]

-slu snolJas IeJoAes ap€ru oslB aH 'lcalord aq] uo Jer{f,JBaseJ Jorues eqlgtlrn r(puersuoc penSre pue ,buoqrne Surldef,)B elqnort peq e11 .rea,{

IBrotrop-lsod srq Suunp suelqord snouas otur uBr aq rnq looqf,s Josrea,{ 3uo1 srq Suunp tulq pale^rtotu tsrtueros e Suruocaq Jo rueeJp slH

'de,re ureqt e^orp d1>1crnb sseurssoq srqsB sPueru petf,BrtlB ureqf, srH 'pe^ll-uoqs sdemle ereA\ sdrqspuel{ slH

'uortuetep ur suooureuB ,tueu tuads aq ,rualqord rornegeg snorJes BeuBf,eq re^au et1 qSnoqrlv ,,i/(q/K,,

,{sB ot suossal Surrdruretur Lllenurr-uof, 'antldn-rslP pue 'eltlcerad,tq tsrou 'snounc sB^r aH 'spuelry puB sJa-I'{f,Bel slq ol Sutssalq PaKru B pue pllql rq8uq B se/rr ag Le,r aqr 3uo1esalf,Btsqo dueur tanamoq 'aJeA\ eJaqI 'eII rleJJed e aneq ot stuees ueqou

'tueel poo8 B e1Bru ["r{J'roluerueldut eql $ uBsns eJI^{ sn{ puB srualqord e^los ot sEapr eql

setBJeueS oqzn fueuorslrr orp sr rJeqou ,eSerueru slr{ q .tseq ueql lrnssertr^rlf,e Surpueuep dllecrsLgd tuqr peurBel sBq uaqog ,enncuaddq

erB suos srq qroq eculs 'strods Jo raqurnu B ur ,(11rue; sn{ qrr^\ seled

-tctued pue suorlcnpord Jeteaqt ,tlrunruurof, ur sulroyad ̂(ileuorsecoo'loqc rlf,rnqf, slr{ ul s8urs eH .ursrlor{B1ro/n ot self,uepuar srq ef,uBIBq

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L6e

erer{^\fue^e spuorrj ̂reu sarBru [llenurruoc eqs esn'f,aq t";l"^ff;':$roj uelqord e t(usr s1{I 'qf,nu os peor aqt uo Surag L1euo1 sra8 aqs

JI {se serurteruos seruelurenbcy 'sertro tuere#lp Suuoldxe pue eldoadA\eu Sunaaru senol euuv 'arntcrd aqt jo rred ,(1uo sr ssef,f,ns IBrf,uBurC

'uorsrlrp Jeq ut uosredsales dor eqt sB ,tauoru Jo rol B e{eru ot JeuuBrucrtsersngtua ror{ puB $f,npord aqt Jo ,brlenb aqt pasn seq eqs 'suors

-snuurof, eBrel uree req pedleq e^Bq qe8;o {13 pue reuuetu Alpuau; repl'uosradseles

lBrrparu B sB pa^rJqt ser{ pue uortrsod aqt JoJ paJrq se/r\ eqs

'le^Brt ot ,{lruntroddo srqr ,iq pan8utur sB^\euuv'[r]unoc eqt tnor{Snorqr suortBf,ol pepnllur .(roturat seles aql

'suorssrunuof, ur eJoru rlrea ot eJueqf, aqt pue strJaueq qtrl\ fue1es poo8 eperelJo qol aql 'slcnpord rreq] IIes ot osrnu eref, Ief,rtrrf, E pepeeu rurl;

tuerudrnbe pue [1ddns lerrpeu a8rel V 'rer{ ro; rf,e}red paurees tBrll

uouducsep qot B pBer pue spe tue^l radedsmeu et{t pBer or ueBaq agg

'9rro; req tou era/v\ slletap leoruqf,et 'tuetsuoJ eqt tng ,{rrleuosrad rag

petrns tueruuoJrlue srqt jo eJnlBu Surlrcxe eq1 'lrun eJef, elrsuelur uBur sreed IBreAes Jo, pelro/v\ oq^r esrnu paralsr8al plo rea,( 67, e sr euuv

'selBs ur lJoA{ Jer{ ur ssecf,ns Punoj sBqoq^\ ccv gtlrnt uBuroA\ B sr euuv 'aSueqc

PUB uonElnluns saABJc oq^A

Ienpl^lpu eqt Joj snuoq e sr sqol seles [ueru ur palnbeJ IoABJ] elrsuetxeaql 'punore Surnou ,(lleorsLqd ro lcnpord eqr Surqcrrd r{lereuorssed dql,Sreue ssef,xe a8regcsrp oslB UBJ uosJadseles eql 'setoruoJd

".{ af,rnJas

Jo lf,npord egr tnoqe tueruetrf,xe snor8Btuoo B etereuaB uec reCIeVcrta8raua pue f,rtsersnqrue eql 'ueds uortuelte pelrurl B qtrn\ uosrad

sseltser B ot potlns-lle^r pue Jerrq regter eg ot puel suortf,Brelur 'se1es u1

'sn Jo /.ueru roJ saqf,ru poo8 uatjo are sqol sales 'CCV gtlrn

tlnpe uB eq deur lenpl^lpur Sunureqr '8ur1let-tseJ slr{I isnrrrf, B tB--qs ro tresep er{l ur puBS IIes plnof, orl^\ lnos Sursud:etue eqr 'mou1

no.{-LpoqAue or SurqrLue 11as plnoo oq^{ euoeruos teru rela no/. ene11uosradseps aql

JIesuIq tB un; elod ro aa8o-1ode ol lcrnb s,ag sr{ep esaqt tnq qtnoru slg ur tooJ srq stnd l,lpuorsecco

osle eH 's8urteeur Jo rulq putruer ot rxrBIB uB qtr/t\ qf,le/!\ B seq pue

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Page 414: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'stcelord ut uot]edtcttred pareqs pue selrus 's8nq grlm reqtoueauo roJ uortselJB rreqt pessardxe ,t11rue; er{J 'uepreS e3re1 B pepual

PUB ernllurnj rllnq 'pa,t.as or{A\ ro{etuatuoq B reqtou req puB rau8rsapIoot eurqcBtu B sB^\ pBp s(tere8re14 'ruere#lp are^{ sSurqr euoq tv

'seqf,teIs 11cuad

rar{ uo prerl dllenba ryoA\ or pesn}er tn9 sarntdlncs peu8rsep IIoA\ urPerunl rare8relnl [.{^ Pue]srepun r,uplnof, eH 'srceford req Jo drrlenb

crlBJJa aql tnoge ,h8ue os sB^\ eq esnBceq uolja ul s,c req aneS sre-qf,eet tre raq 'o auo 'Surruearp[ep req rgSneo l,eqr ueqd\ req peqsrundsreqf,Bel req Jo l,ue14 'uorqsBJ Surlleg 'mo1s L11n;ured req uI pnolB pBereqs uer{^{ req pesBat sread reH 'looqcs

Jo atnurlu fuane perBq lereSreyq

_ 'rotuetueldur

ccv InJssecsns e 'lereSrBIAI;o fuors eql sr areH .spro/v\8urno1 grlrn no,{ Suue/!\oqs ueqt nol, ro; Surqraruos Burxg ro Burleru dq

uoltcelJe ssardxa ol L1ary1 eJoru sl eq tolueueldrut uB sr asnods rno,(jl 'rl xrJ ot ^\oq Surmoul ,{larerperuur pue Surqreruos tB 3ur>1oo1 Lldurs

;o elqeder sruees aH 'parcnnsuof, ro peu8rsep eq plnoqs BurqlaruosA\oq Jo s>lJo^/\ eurqf,Bu B A\oq spuBtsJapun [1anl]lntul Jotuerueldrur uy

'uortf,B q8norqr Jlasurqsessardxe puB plJo/v\ eqr spuBtsrepun eH 'ecua8r11etur jo puBrq u^\o sn{sBq rotuerualdrur aqJ 'rotuarualdrq uB uosred srqr sllBl eqlo) dqle;

_ Joqtne

"rtlorl)auuoc

aftnuuoc aq; '1oog Jar{ u1 's8un1t SuuredeJ JoSurrcnrrsuof, ro; UI8 B e^Bq eruos 'qe8;o g13 eql e^Bq sraCCV IIB roN

raqunld aql

iplo sree[ gg s(eqs ueq^\ rreJBS uo JJo seo8 Llyddeq oql\ uozr]rf,rorues B etuof,eq II3^,\ [eru pue [gua]tnq sseltoor e se Lddeq sl eqs .plolu

eql otul tlJ or arnssard lBterf,os ot ur enrS ](useop euuv tBrp edoq e16

,,;e8e uleuof, B ̂q aceld euo uI pelues eq ot e^Bq no[ sr{es ]Bqt elnJ EeJeqr s1,, 'srapuoA\ eqs 'ernlnj req Jo ued e sB ueJpllrlf, uorsrlue t(useoppue furetu ol e8rn l,ue aneq t(useop aqs 'alll raq ur turod srqt tV .suorl-sanb rreqt JeasuB o1 ̂\oq eJns l(usr aqs 'uA\op elues or sueld req tnoqB

TSB spuolU pue L11ure; reH 'punor-reeL stserelul ,{ueu ensrnd ol ,bru-nuoddo eqr ra}ro slelBrt rag 'Surpelq rellor pue Surlcedlceq 'Suruns

'8utt1s Illtlumop eurrt ee{ req pueds ot sa^ol puu f,rle8reue sr euuv

ijAZVuc uo qrdnrs'LZv-l JoN h{(l NVal{ no^

Page 415: You Mean I m Not Crazy

66e

Surrou Lq pacueque pue 3ut>1u1qr luenelerrl ̂q perlslrnou sI rounH

'xog B ur JoC eserqd eqt Lq petelnrults eref,

Ief,rpeu leuosredul Jo arntcrd lelueu parereSSexe eql re q8nel e^\ oS'pepl eqt Jo uoqs sllB, ueuo ,{trlear r€ql ^\oDI IIB e1)N 'lBnPI^lPuI uB sBtuerled rlf,Be aoul plnoqs oq^\ sleuorsselord se suet:rs[qd;o papr rno o]Jetunof, sunJ e8erur sF{I 'uoDf,aJur tf,BJt fueuun Jo leoJqt aros rno[;o

Surcrmas ruJoJlun pue leuosredrur '8ut1trus 'ptdeJ

Jo saJntcrd leluaru dnsarnluoc pue luernetser pooj tsBJ B Jo erueu eqt salquraseJ eserqd aqJ

'Pasop are sef,rlJo(srotrop tsoru ueqd\ srnoq arp Suunp erBf, qrleeq ur-dorp eplnord tBql

sJatuef, oJBJ tue8rn eqlJcsap ot pesn s(ll 'Jorunq jo uoltepuno; eqt sB,{rrprnsqe;o elduexe uB sr xog D ur Joe 'uorsserdxa eql ',,snont8uof,ul

[lprnsqe ro snorolpnl eql Jo esues B ot sleedde retlr ,{rrlenb terl],, serounq pro/y\ eqt saurJeP retsqalN '/KouT noL uosrad tseruury aqr Jo {ulqJ

tnuoc aql

'pl5{c r{f,Ba }o stueler pue selArs Suru:ee1 enbrun eqr srcadser osle loorlf,seql'Surureal uo-spuerl sezrseqdue tBql Iooqcs rrosseluolnl B puene[".[ 'sef,uerradxa ra]taq e^Bq IIIA\ ueJpll{o req ter{t ernsue ot sdets

uelBl serl PIIE IIe^\ oor,{1uo sLep Iooqls Pernuol roq srequeruar lere8relAl

'seArlBIeJ PUB

spuer{ ruou dl"q eruos gtlrn asnoq u/rro rraqt Surppnq pue Suru8rseppa[ofue e^Br.{ pueqsnq rerl pue lere8reyrl 'sf,rueqrau pu€ uB ur pary18pue petualer 'rg8rrq ere uarplrqo eerql rleqJ 'spro/!\ uBrlt speep yrprelqBtJoJruof, eJoru oslB sr oqrr\ rauSrsap crqderS B o1 Perileru raqrunld

Jatseru B A\ou q eqs 'splelJ leuortrpeJt-uou ur ueruon l,oldua or qsnd

s,[teloos pue sartrllQe raq ]o uorteurquof, e q8norgt uorun s,reqrunldeqr jo raqruaru B aruef,eq eqs 'rate1 'raqrunld B eruof,aq ot r.uerSord 1e

-uortef,ol B ur pellorue eqs 'looqcs qBH reUV 'ueruo.tr ro; serlrunuoddoSurmor8 eJe/r\ ereqt uer{^\ erult e te e8e Jo aruoo or A1cn1 sB.&\ teJB8reyl

f

osnoq aelr erBIoqBIe uB ep'.,, aqs 'rerp* ,".11;ff:1"tttt:ffitT fiffi's8urqr tf,rulsuol ot poTII osle eqs 'uosradLpueg ]uaplser aql sB ruroyadpue sef,uerldde Suruortcun;leru xg 'rec L11ue; eqt leder ol penol eqs's8urgr Surxr;-tsag plp eqs rer{^\ Surop auoq le ,iddeq se^r lere8reyrl

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./,ap rosTo noaN aql-waur"Lrcd1uu;l .rournH D

tuelBt slq Jo e8elue'rpB eIBl o1 elqB sB/!\ eq srqt op ot psurBel,i11eug sruuaq uaq^4A. 'ruF{ tB tou 'urlrl gtl,n q8nel sraqto os slq8noqr slqJo suollBlf,ossB snoJoulnq eql aJBr{s o1 A{oq PUB aJeqzn 'ueq/1| Burureal

sr cnuof, JnatBruB Jo lBuorsse;ord ccv uB JoJ ssaf,f,ns Jo taJJes eqJ

isuoltBln8er pue solnJ slq Jo sarf,uetsrsuof,ur eql tno parurod tBr{lselol ]B pesnue pareadde renau eH 'JorunqJo esuos poo8 fuen e eABq

ol Peuees Jeleu Jeqf,Bel s(f,rurof, aql 'uoseeJ euros JoC 'suorldnrsrpeqt porercerdde sLetrle ef,uerpne aqt ur auofuene lou ,eslnor;g .Bur

-u/nolf, rreqt gtlrn ssBIf, eqr Surrdnrsrp ro} serlrcedec padolanep-lle/v\ pBqoql\ asoqt Lllensn eJB peJeqrueureJ tsaq seuo eqr 'dqs eJB sf,ruroJ uJoq

eluos q8noqlly 'uelParuor tueplser euo tseel tB e^eq stuoorsselr tsol4J

'l,uury atrnb eq uec sanSolouour Suuepue/v\ ,pll^ Jraql'suoltlglqul Aq paredurequn 'ssnu ̂(laurlnoJ sreqto s8urqr Surcrtouro; ry13 B a^Br.{ stlnpe pue uerpllgc ooy dueyrl 'suonf,rpBrluos eql

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r0b'uleql rB PrBq os

lro^\ ot peq aq esnef,eq sassacf,ns ler)os slq Jo pnord lpelncrrred sr all'z{rrruapl

}o esues Suous E pue spuer{ esolf, seq eH 'cnuof, dnpuels esB JeeJef, Sursrurord e paqrunel ser{ pue s,02, l,pea slq ul A\ou sr sruueq

'seapl lelou pue snorounq dolanep or ,bryqe slq ro, suorteaue8

-Jo snorJen Lq rno rq8nos sBly\ puB uets,is y4 eqt JeAo Sururour qf,BaeuunoJ [pauroc B plp 's]uene

looqcs dueu rc] saruotuaral to nlsnlrlleqt sBA\ eH 'luelBt f,nuof, slq JoJ sesBs/v\oqs PePr^ord senrnrlJe looqf,st{8tr{ Jo requrnu V

'seu1l aleudordde eqt tB }Jo pue uo selol eql tr:n]ot peurBal pBrl ag sB peterf,ardde ag /.11eug plnor rounq Jo esuas srH

,irlrelndod aruos ure8 ol un8aq peq pue qeued sself, arp ra8uol ou sB/!\all 'a8pel/v\ou1Jles lueuodrur qrur perure Iooqrs q8tq peretue sruueq

'ef,ueralJlp 8tq B aperu suorsses egJ 'll

Stpo* rulg dp,{ ot pue pueq }o }no to8 rorneqeq s(sruuecl uoq/!\ lnolurod or peer8e ,(uo1 '1ood Surrooqs ro 3ur11em a{l 'peAofua qroq l,agrs8urqr op ot raqra8or re8 Lpeln8ar plnom Larp tBqr IBap B eperu sruuaq

pue Luol 'd1",{ ot 1!\or{ A\eu{ pue pH B sB uoucelar pef,uerredxa peqoqn,\ ueru elrtrsues B sB^\ 'Luo1 Jolesunof, eqJ 'uelgord srq qtrl/\ dl".l

JoJ rolesunoc acueprn8 Iooqf,s B ol lue,,K sruuacl '1oor1cs q8tq rorunf u1

'se1o[ srq ]B Surq8nel uBrp reqter ryef e r{rns Sureq ro} urlqre SurqBnBI perraJard sraad srH 'tno ulg peunt peq Lpoqfuane esnef,eqsq8nel ,{ue lo8 reneu tl tnq lerreteru snororunq aruos per{ IIIts eH 'tsertno

Ierf,os B eurof,eq peq sruueq 'looqcs elpplru peretue er{ eurr aql Lg

'spooru snorres ur Jo peru eJe/v\ seterusselJ slq ueq^r e{Bt ot pJBq lpelnlr-red sem sruuecl 'rq8rlaull eqt erBr{s esla auoLue Suutel reneu pue a8ersJetueJ 3ur33oq 'erurt eqr IIE uo sB^\ eH Jlo tr paurnt Jaleu eq esnef,eqellq/!\ B reryB petetrrr euef,aq Laql tnq snorrellq se^r ag tq8noqr ,(11e1rrursread srH 'sa1ol,{ueru oo] plot pue sself, arp pardnrretur ,{puersuof, eH

'llB tB atnf, sE^{ eq {qqr t,uPIP srer{f,Belsrg 'rana^\oq 'looqcs

Peretue eq uer{/N 'ellrll sBA\ aq ueq^\ rusrf,rtrr3adecsa or pa8eueur sruuaq '[uun; pue a]nC '3urt1r,{rale otur sLemle

selv\ pue dotsuou pue Lpee pe{ler oq^,\ relppot pere}-pel{lery 'parreq-per B otur znerS [q"q eql 'uos ]uB]ur rreqt peluBu Leqr ueqA\ rueql

pepln8 peq dSE Jo puH eruos JI perepuo^{ sluared srg leqr ,(pcayed osll} euBDlclu eql 'PIHI E sB ((ef,Eual^I 3ql sruuecl,, PallBf, sB^\ sruuoc

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Page 418: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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,blnlrce euo ot Jlesreq tltull ot pBorqoot ueeq sl'ezn1e aABq stseJetul JeH 'JaaJBf, eteJodroc e Suldolelap uo

sarS.reua rar{ snroJ ot tou pepllep sBq eqs 'rlnpB clcv uB sB a;11 raq 8ur

.n11 /,11n;ssaf,f,ns pue l'ltddeq sr oq^\ etuenellq lBuorsse;ord B sr eruuoC

'qof SurLed srq ruorylesurq qf,Btep ot seqf,Bordde aseql sesn eH 'trolJe eplll gtl,n ruro;-rad

uBf, eq IIIIS B urBel ol ssoor{c ,{eu aq Jo 'stseretul lear srq Surnsrnd

roj elull Jo $[]olq ^\ollB or sulrls elqnop ur srnor{ 1ro1!\ srq elnper{rsJo atult-ued ryo,r [eru aH 'runrulqru e or qof 8ur[ed B ur ]uatutsenuraqr dae>1 ot sr{em Jo regtunu B tno sarn8ry etueuellq leuorsseJord eql

'ry SutopLauoru rlree or ueld t(useop rsnl ag 'suor]f,npord arteeqr pooqroqq8rauut Suts IIIts UBO eq os aJII slq ueld ot seprf,ep eq 'cusrleerun ere sueerpsrr.{ tBqt SurldacoB pue erntBru Sureq ueqt reqtBu 'tsoru sa^ol ag Surqlaqr Surop 8urnr1 B aTeru ot tuelet tuerf,rilns sTf,EI ar{ szlroul eH .le^el,ir11tqe slq qrreu t(usaop Sut8uts Jo a^ol srq leqr ezrlear Leu aq tlpurg

'urlq setBnltotu tllds esoq^{ lsrlJe elrteeJf, eqt JoJ uortrsodord peregB aq Leru srseq l,11aezn B uo uB lerf,Jerutuof, rno SurluBJC 'unJ eqt sulnJ

pur-r8 L11ep eql asnereq lro1K slq ul errsep s(trBeq srq ansrnd ot loupeplcep e^Bq osle ,{eru eH 'esle auodue rrnq t(useop pue dddBr{ rulq

salBru rr asnBf,aq 8un1rfua^e Jo eFlll B ur selqqBp aH '8ur1cLr ef,uBtsrp-Buo1 dn eler ro srnoq ro; Lgdosollqd pBar ,ra11eq [p.rr uBf, eq ,aturJ

aeg slr{t ul 'sBeJB rer{to ur esn roy dn ll see{ eq 'ryozu slr{ q L8raueIeuoltotue ellssef,xe tselur ot Sursn;er Lg '9o[ e ,{.q peunsuof, oq ot ]ou

sasoor{f, puB stsaretul slq [q pegrosqB sl eq rBr{1 eq deur uosBar euo

Jlestun{ JoJ ssef,f,ns aurjapeJ ot 'suoseel;o dtaue^ B roJ uesoqf, seq oq/l\Ienpl^lput Sutuoddnsjlas B sr eH 'Jele^\oq 'rarapuem ssolture uB t(usr

ep1 'Surnll B sa{Bur aq lem aqr ol Alnuepl slq {url l(useop eH ']uaru-lllJInJ ro; tou ',tauou ro; qo[ B ]B $lro^t elue11ellq lguorsse]ord eql

'sanlesJno uoddnsuBf, e^&\ paplnord 'stsaratul tueJelJlp [ueru eldrues ](uBJ eA\ ter{t uoseeJou s(ereqJ i^rlllqesrp ro qteep llrun uaqr gtlrn lcns pue ruar{t relseru

'sanr1 Jno ur sertrlr]Je ̂{eJ B esooqJ ot e^Bq atr legt alru eqt eperu oq/)Nelueilello FuorsseJord eql

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Page 419: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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'serlrtuePl rleqr roJrlf,Jeas Jlar{r ur seepl ̂\eu tno 8ur^Jr z{snq aJB or{A\ stuef,selope eseqt grlrn

Surryozt ur stesse eJB seJueuadxe pue stsaJalur peuosse rag 'sre8e-uael ibtc reuul lrll1| lJoA\ Jeetunlo^ euop sBq eruuo3 'srea,{,(ueru rog

'eldoad Surtseretur ,(ueu grlartspuoq uJoJ req pedlor{ e^Bq stsaJetur parrel reH 'elrsualxe sr stseratur

raruroj puB tuerrnf,,o lsrl reH 'Lqdosollgd u:arseg puB dqderSorogd'ef,ron '3ur33o1c 's8urql raqro Suoue pelpnrs sBq eqs ree,{, tsed eqt uI

'tueruoru eqr tBLcue; Jeq qf,tec ot suaddeq ranatBq^\ otur ,{8raua letueru tuepunqe regst\ortlt aluuoC 'i(ep eqr ro; qofreq saqsrurj aqs ueqlil. 'ereq/!\es1a [1e8re1

sr puru JOr{ elrq^\ tolldornB uo {Jo/t\ uBf, egs 'ratured pef,uerJedxe uesI eqs esnBf,eg 's{Jo/v\ eqs sB sSurs PUB Jeutred raq gllrn slBr{J Lllecrpo

-ued aqg 'adet uo Dlooq ot sualsrl pue surearp,(Bp eqs 'slro,t\ er{s elrq^rsLolue egs s8urqt op uBf, eqs 'req ro] tce3:ed sr uesoql seq eqs Irol!\ eql

'ud\o Jer.{ ot uosuedruof, ur IInpeJB saAII s,eldoad Jeqlo terlt se^arleq eqs 'uorsrf,ap Jeq pener8er raneu

seq oqs 'uedo suorldo req deal puB ef,rnpe rreqr erou8r ot peprf,epaqg 'l,em Jeqlo l,ue Lddeq Sureq aur8erur t(uplnoo 'ranelroq 'aruuo3

',(ddeq oq ra^e plnol\ aqs ̂.oq aur8eul t(uplnoo[".1I 'aJII req ro; sueld cglcads 8ur1eu rou Lq lerruerod req else^\ o]Sursooqc aruuoC se rq8uq se auo,i,ue eur8erul l(uplnoc Leql 'sseussal-rulB Sutruaas Jerl tnoqe perJJoA\ sJolasunof, pue sJeqf,Bet 'sluared ra11

'a8e11oc ol oBot alll req jo sread rnoJ Jo unururlu B dn Surnr8 aur8etul t(uplnoc eqs'SutqrLuB otur l,ldaep e^lep or Surddots tou rnq Surqlfuene Surldrues'a;11 ur 3uo1e Surruutls roJ of,uereJerd raq pe8pelrnou{f,e er{S 'errorlc

e18urs e ot eJIl reg SurmorrBu;o rq8noqr eqr rBeq t(uplnof, eruuoC

'JaeJef, e pue a8alloc tnoqe suorsrf,ep e1elrr ot eruuo3 Surpensrad1B InJssaf,snsun peurBluer rallllz[sry\ 'uo;;e leerS arrdseq lreg SulprnSpue Surlesunof, re ,{lqerasru pelle} orlt\ rolesunof, eruBpln8 eqr 'rallllAl

'srlnl ro; turos tleJ eqs loor{f,s r{8tq u1 'a1/.rsell rer{ llJ tl esnef,eq rlnpeSunod B sB aperu eqs ef,Ioqc e talured esnoq e sB 8urnr1 B sa1etu oruuoC

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B sBq oqr!\ Jeccv Inlssof,f,ns B Jo oldluBxa uB sr oruuoc 'uortrsod Jodeuour lerruersqns rnoqtrm lananoq '1n;ssef,cns eq uec no1 'snorueJ pueqf,rr auoteq peepur rqSrtu no[ 'pueuep ur erB s]uelBt puB sr]13 rnoA;1

't! op or naK salquua wqt a1fasa/rr1o uoTqsntptnop ol uroq arafin no(" Tnqm lno atn&il noc uaqftn paftalqJp st ssaJJns

:8urzno11o; aqt sr sar{f,te{s atrsodruof, aqt ur parpoque ssef,f,ns JouoltlurJep SurLpepun aql 'lle te 'euntroy pue erue; ot peel tou rq8nulBql suJnl Pue slsl/v\l Sutstrd-lns qtl/y\ auo enueuJatle uB elet ot spuelaH 'ssaf,rns ot etnor peglrcserd aqr ̂rolloJ sdeznle t(useop reCCV uV

's,{em lueuodrur eJolu urpeJnsBotu eq uBf, tena,trroq 'ssectnS 'uoqs

1p; lqStu sJeccv dueru 'tce;ul 'troqs

1p; lq8ru teru ezl\ aldoad eql Jo etuos ,lcrlsprel, srqr tsure8epeJnseelnJ 'suoltoruord pue sesreJ Surduedruocce gtlrn JeppBI reeJB)

eqr dn qurlll [papro uB se sserf,ns sornsearu lcrrspre[ leuor]rpert er{I

'luolueJnsEotu Jo pJBpuBts stl puB sseccns Jo uorlrurlep eqt uo

spuadap tl 't(ueJe Leqr reqr an8re plno^\ eruos '1n;ssaccns [lqeruepun erBslenpl^lpu eseqt IIB e^erloq eA\ q8noqlly 'uon{se} uBf, stlnpe CCV se^rl

Inlssef,f,ns eqr;o selduexe A\oj e lsnl ere seqJ]e1s atrsodruof, eseql

:ssertns q feq/K

'sreJjo aJII srepuo^\ eql IIe o1 tueqt ef,nporlul o1 trB^\ t(uBf, eruuoc'uoos fep euo uarpllt{) Surneq ot pre^\ro; 8ur>1ool ere pue raqreSot sreart

e^IJ reUB spuer+ tseq lllrs ere pueqsnq raq pue eqs '[nue spuerg reqe8etueru B seq aI{S 'spuer$ r.{tr.ry\ erurt arnsrel req pue Jetuef, ueet eql tB

sertr^nsB Jaatunlo^ req 'ryom req JoJ eurrt alenbepe epnlJur ol olnpeqJsraq sueld L11n;arer eqs 'qo[ Arrlenb B ]uerlr fuena senr8 sl,emle pue slll{sreq rrrBel or prBq pa{ro^r sBr{ er{s '1ro^\ raq lnoqB sselerBc s(eqs lBr{1 roef,uBtsgns Jo aJntcnJts ou sBr{ OJII s,eruuo3 rBgt ,i1duI ot luB/r\ ](uop e/x\

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-nuoddo eqt a^Bq Jeneu sJeqto [ueu e8pal,rnou>l puB seouerJedxe;oqtlee^\ E seq aqs '8urqt euo Aue te uadxe uB t,usl eruuoc leqr enJt s(trg8noqrly,,'8urqt,{ue tB slef,xa renau er{S itxeu aqt or Surqr euo ruo$

Surrrlg Jo osn eqt s(teq4t,, :a1[lseJII s(eruuoC ezrf,r]rrf, aldoed Auery

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Page 421: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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uesoqf, Jaq ur eurJ tsnl Surop sr 'ecue]sur Jo] 'aruuo3 'oot ,{e1o Eteqr 'noL rot ecroqc B tou l,lduns sr uouef,npe leuoltlppe ter{r eplJep nod;1

'sndurec str sB futunoc eloq/!\ aqt sesn t1 'lleuurf,ur3 urpaseg 'ef,ror{J tuellef,xe uB sr 'eldruexe JoJ 'alnlnru1uorun eql'runlnf,rJ

-Jnf, u/r\o rno'{ u8rsep ot no,{ d\ollB pue SururBal patceJrpJlas e8ernoouarBr{1 seursre^run pelrperf,f,e roJ {ool

',b1nce; eql tuog ecueprn8 grl,nserPnts rno,{ uSrsap PUB rsererul }o BerB ue treles or &I11g1xeu lBuolrlppBe^Bq no[ 'looqcs e]Bnper8 ul 'stuelet pue stsaJotut rnol, saqotetu reqr[p.tt Jo BaJE uE asooqf, uBf, no^ 'aoed u,ro rnoL ]es uBf, pue uorloalesasrnof, ur tuopeog e^Bq nol, 'a8allot ul 'qe^el req8rq ol ef,uelpe noL

se 1n;Surueeru pue lueseeld eJoru sr Iooqf,s tBrlt relof,srp rq8rru notr

;lasrnod ot tuerulrrutuoo puno'/v\eu rnol, grlm ule8e rr 8ur,futJaprsuof, 'sef,uauodxe

loorlcs t13rq tueseeldun Jo esnef,eg looqls uo dnane8 no,i;1 'uouef,npa eJou alnbar dlrnrtearr pue ,brpqrxep Jo le^el

retear8 B roJ llrolle tBqt sqot arlr 'lereua8 ul 'peplo^B eq plnoqs puesreCCV roj rlnf,rlllp ere uortezrue8ro pue paads uo tunnuard e eceld teql

sqo[ 1ene1 Lrrua ro pollllsun 'slllIs pef,ue^pB ]noqtr^r plro^4, s,,{epoluI eAIAJns ot tlnf,t;;lp arou Surruoceg s,rl 'uorteonpa aJou SurnsrndJaplsuof, ol nol, a8ernoouo 'Jeneaoq 'op e41 'pedofua ueq] peJnpue

aq ot eroru 'esJnoc alf,Btsqo rlntllJlp B surBtueJ Iooqf,s 'sn;o dueur rog

'sf,ISBq eql PerelsBru sBr{ eq raryB ,i11crnbsasserSord uer;o CCV gtlrn lenpl^lpur uB uB tBqt sr s^\eu poo8 eqJ

'peeqe Sutnou eq deur sateru e8e srq 'sar8aterts leuorlezrue8ro pue

sef,IAeP ,fuoruaur asn ot Sutureal s,ag ellr{41 'sar8ateJts ssedLq uJeelot peJrnber d8raue pue arun eqr Lq pe/!\ols aq Leru ssarSord slq'8urql

euo roC ',sraad srq ueql Je/nols tBq^\otuos aq ot sreadde alqer arullleruerudole^ep IBrntBu srH 'eqcru anbrun slg spulJ eq aroJeq strets

aslBJ Jo requnu B sef,ueuadxe oqA\ Jeruoolq etBI B ueuo sr reeCIV uVreaeN ueql atel repeg-eqrlN rnotr ErtprU

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sr pre^\er fueunrd ".{J

'spre^teJ fuepuooes aJB eseqt 'rul[ rog i,{euou;o srod osle tnq san8eallor slg;o lcadsar eqt Aluo tou pourBa seq

eH 'lnlssef,f,ns osle sr ruyf'ryol\ ree]unlo^ req g8norqr sreqto or If,Bqenr8 ot sa8eueru tn9 stuJet u^to Jaq uo eJll sa^rl aqs 'euocur tseporu

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Page 422: You Mean I m Not Crazy

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lo uotlButrljtlo orll ocuts 'paJa;;ns o^eq ol reedde osle ctsnu pue Ue 'ornlero1l lo pUoM oql

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-anco-lrda

Page 430: You Mean I m Not Crazy

Reterencesi Stills, G.F. (1902). Some abnormalpsychological conditions in children, Lancet. i, 1008-1012,1077-

1082 ,1163 .1168 .2 Goldstein, S. and Goldstein, M. (1990). Managing Attention Disorders in Children. New York: John

Wiley and Sons.3 American Psychiatric Association. (1968). Diagnostic and statisticalmanualof mentaldisorders (2nd

ed.). \Uashington, DC: Author.4 American Psychiatric Association. (1980).Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (3rd

ed.). Washington, DC: Author.5 American Psychiatric Association. (1987).Diagnostic and statistical manual of mcntal disorders (4th

ed.). Washington, DC: Author.-6 Zu*.tkin, A.J., Nordahl, T.E., Gross, M., King, A.K., Semple, !il.E., Rumsey, J., Hamburger, S' &

Cohen, R.M. (1990). Cerebral glucose meabolism in adults with hyperactivity of childhood onset. TheNew England Joumal of Medicine, 323 (30), 136l-1366.

7 Zm.tkin, A.J., & Rapoport, J. (198i). Neurobiology of attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity:where have we come in 50 yearsl lournal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiary,26,676.686.

8 Leuine, M. (198?). DevelopmentalVariation and Leaming Disorders Cambridge, Massachusetts: EducatorsPublishing Service Inc.

9 Ingersoll, B. (1988). Your Hyperactive Child: A Parents Guide to Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder.New York: Doubleday.

10 T.11.g.n, A., Lykken, D.T., Rich, S., Bouchard, T.J., Wilcox, K.J.& Segal, N.L. (i988).Personality

similarity in twins reared apart and together. Joumalof Personality and Social Psychology,54 6),1031-1039.11 Ch.rr, S., & Thomas. (1984). Origin and Evolution of Behavior Disorders: From Infancy to Early Adult

Life. New York: Brunner/Mazel.12 Ingerroll, B. Your Hyperactive Child.13 F.ingold, B. (19?5). \Uhv Your Child is Hyperactive. New York: Random House.14 Sri,h, L. (1975). Your Child's Behavior Chemistrv. New York: Random House.15 Toffl.r, A. (19?0). Future Shock. New York: Random House.16 Co*ingr, D.E. (1990). Tourette Svndrome and Human Behavior. Duarte, California:Hope Press.17 Erikron, E.H. (1950). Childhood and Societv. New York: \il.\7. Norton & Co.18 W.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. (1986). Hvperactive Children Grown Up. New York: The Guilford Press.

4r4

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RerpRrNcesll--

19 W.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. Hvperactive Children Grown Up.20 W.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. Hyperactive Children Grown Up.21 Leuine, M. DevelopmentalVariation and Leaming Disorders,22 Gol.rnrn, D' (1992,JanuaryiFebruary). \Tounds that never heal: how trauma changes your brain. Psychology

Today, pp.62,66,88.23 Kil.u, D. (1983). The Peter Pan Svndrome. New York: Avon.24 Al.hoholi.s Anony*our. A.A. !7orld Services:New York, New York.25 Longr.r., D.l. (1980). Living More with Less. Scottdale, Pennsylvania: Herald Press.26 Drrdig, J,C. e. Heward, \iil.L. (1981). (Znd ed.). Sign Here; a contracting book for children and their parents.

Ann Arbor, Michigan: Edward Brothers.27 Winrro.,, S. (1978). Getting Organized. New York: Wamer Books.28 Lrpp, D. (198?). Don't Forget: Easy Exercises for a Better Memory at Any Age. New York: McGraw.Hill.29 s.h.ib.r, B. and Talpers, J. (198?) Unlocking Potential. Maryland: Adler and Adler.30 S.h.ib.r, B. and Talpers, J. Unlocking Potential.31 S*ith, S. (1986). No Easy Answers. The Leaming Disabled Child at Home and at School. New york:

Bantam Books.32 Silu.r, L. (1984)The Misunderstood Child. New York: McGraw.Hill.33 S.h.ib.r, B. and Talpers, J. Unlockin&Potential.34 Cousins, N. (1989). Head First. The Biology of Hope. New York: Dutton.35 Gli.k, D. (1992, Jul1, 13). New age meets hippocrates. Newsweek. p. 58.36 U/.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. Hyperactive Children Grown Up.37 W.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. Hyperactive Children Grown Up.38 W.irr, G. & Hechtman, L.T. Hyperactive Children Grown Up39 Goldrt.in, S. & Goldstein, M. (1990). Managing Attention Disorders in Children: A Guide for Practitioners.

New York:Wiley.40 M.di.rlEconomics Company. (1991). Physicians Desk Reference. (45th ed.), Author.41 Comings, D.E. Tourette Syndrome and Human Behavior.42 Clrrk, B. Queener, S. & Burke,Karb, V. (1990). PharmacologicalBasis of Nursing Practice. St.Louis:C.V.

Mosby Company.43 Ing.rsoll, B. Your Hyperactive Child.44 !f.nd.,, P.H., & Reimherr, F.W. (1990). Bupropion treatmenr of attnention.deficit hyperactivity disorder

in adults. AmericanJoumal of Psvchiatrv, 147 (8), 1018.1020.45 S9l*i, P, M., Klein, M.H., Greist, J.H., Sonell, S.P. & Erdman, H.P. (1991). Computer.administered therapy

for depression, M.D. Computing, 8 (2), 98.102.46 Ayr.r, A.J. (1981). Sensory Integration and the Child. Los Angeles, Califomia:Westem Psychological

Services.47 Liul., P. (1990, October 12.14).Mind game for the 90's. USA !ileekend, p.16.48 \ilillirrnr, G. (1990, June). Experiencing etemity. Longevity, pp. 52.58.49 Cousins, N. Head First. The Biology of Hope.50 Addu.i, L. (1991, September 3). Mv child couldn't pay attention. womens Day. p. 102, 106.51 Rroo, D,J. (19?9). Allergies and the Hyperactive child. New York: Simon & schuster.

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52 F.ingold, B. Your Child's Behavior Chemistry.53 D..k.r, P.F. (1985). Innovation and Entrepeneurship: Practice and Principles. : New York: Harper & Row.54 Kolb., K. (1990). The Conative Connection: Uncovering the Link Between \ilho You Are and How You

Perform. New York: Addison \fesley.55 Noel/Levitz Conference. (1989, October). Visualof 1ob skills for the nineties, presentation at Thomas

More College.56 Nrirbitt, J. (1984). (Znd ed.). Megatrends. New York:Wamer Books.57 Nrirbitt, J. & Aburdene, P. (1990). Megatrends 2000: Ten New Directions for the 1990's. New York Monow.58 Nrirbitt, j. & Aburdene, P. Megatrends 2000: Ten New Directions for the 1990's.

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Bain, L. (1991). A Parents Guide to Attention Deficit Disorders. NewYork: Dell.

Comings, D.E. ( 1990). Towette Syndrome and Human Behnuior.Califomia: Hope Press.

Cowart, V.S.(1988). "The ritalin controversy: what's made this drug'sopponents hyperactivel" Joumal of the American MedicalAssociat ton, 259, 257.I.7523.

Dardig, J.C. and Heward, \7.L. (1981). Stg,n Here: AConwacangBookfor Children anl"Their Paren*. Bridgewarer, New Jersey: F, Fournies &Associates.

Gauthier, M. (1984). "Stimulant medications in adults with attentiondeficit disorder". Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 439 (79), 435.440.

Golin, M., Bricklin, M., Diamond, D. and the Rodale Center forExecutive Development. (I99I). Secrets of Executive Success. Emmaus,Pennsylvania: Rodale Press.

Goldstein, S. and Goldstein, M. ( 1990). Managing Attention Disordersin Children. New York: John Wiley and Sons.

Ingersoll, B. ( 1988) . Yow Hyperactiqre Chill,: A Parent's Guide to Copingwith Attention Deficit Disorder. New York: Doubleday.

L"pp, D. ( 1987 ). Don't Forget: Easy Exercises for a Better Memory at

Susgested Reading List

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Att) Agr. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Levine, M. D. ( 1 98 7 ) . D eqt elopmental V ariation and Learning Disor der s .Cambridge, Massachusetts: Educators Publishing Service, Inc.

Levine, M.D. ( 1990) . Keeping AheaA in School. Cambridge,Massachusetts: Educators Publishing Service, Inc.

Liden, C.B., Zalenski, J.R. and Freytag,L. (1992). Attention deficitdisorder: Toward establishing a standard of care for adults.TransacnonMonograph Senes , (No.2). Tlansact Health Care Systems, 7566Haymakeq Monroeville, PA 15146.

Lorayne H. and Lucas, J. (1974).TheMemory Book New York:Dorset Press.

Marres, J.A. and Boswell, L. (1984). "Methylphenidate effects on symp-toms of ADD in adults". Achives of General Psychiatry, 41,105-106.

Satir, V. (I97 6) . Making C ontnct. Berkeley, California: Celestial Arts.

Scheiber, B. and Thlpers, J.( 198i ) . Unlocking Potential: CoILege andOther Choices for Learning Disabl.ed PeopLe-A Step by Step Guide .Maryland: Adler and Adler.

Silver, L. B. (1991) . Attention-Deficit Hyperactiuity Disorder : A Clinica|Guide to Diagnosis andTreatment. Washington, DC: AmericanPsychiatric Press, Inc.

Thnnen, D. ( 1990). You Just Don't (Jnderstand. New York: WilliamMorrow and Company.

Turecki, S. (1985). TheDfficultChild". New York: Bantum.

'Weiss, G. and Hechtman, L.T. ( 1986) . Hyperactiqte Children Grown

Up. New York: Oxford University Press'Weiss,

L. (1992). AnentionDeficirDisorder in Adu\ts: PracticalHelp forSufferers andTheir Spouses. Dallas, Texas: Taylor Publishing.

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\fender, P.H., & Reimherr, F,\7. (1990). "Bupropion treatment ofattention-deficit hyperactivity disorder in adults". American Journalof Psychiatry, 147 (8 ), 1018- 1020.

\Uender, P.H. ( 1987). The Hyperactiue Chill", Adolescent, and Aduh:Attention Deficit Disorder Through the Lifespan. New York: OxfordUniversity Press.

\Uinston, S. (1978) . GettingOrganiTed. New York: Warner Books.

Wolkenberg, E (1987, October 11). "Out of a darkness". New YorkTimes Magazine, pp. 62, 66, 70, 82.83.

Woods, D. (1986). "The diagnosis and treatment of attention deficitdisorder, residual type". Psychiatric Annals, 16, 73-28.

Yellin, A.M., Hopwood, J.H. and Greenberg, L.M. (1982). "Adultsand adolescents with ADD: clinical and behavioral responses topsychostimulants". Journal of Clinical Psychophamacology, 7, I33-t36.

Zametkin, A.J. et al. (1990). "Cerebral glucose metabolism in adultswith hyperactivity of childhood onset". The New England Journal ofMedicine. 323 (20) . 1361.1366.

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Resource List

ADDult Support NetworkM"ry Jane Johnson , 2620lvy Place, Toledo, OH 43613This organization is really a one-woman operation, but M"ry JaneJohnson has done a superb job of developing a nationwide network forADD adults.The network publishes a quarterly newsletter (ADDultNews), has a pen pal program and compiles informational packets forADD adults. Ms. Johnson is also collecting data on adult ADDersthrough a questionnaire she has designed. If you are interested in par-ticipating in her research, write to Mary Jane and request a question-naire. She has also informed us that she is organizing a national ADDadult conference scheduled some time in 1993. The conference willmost likely be held in the Midwest and will probably be just the firstof many to follow.

Attention Deficit Resource CenterLawrence L. Melear, Ph.D., Directot 1344 Johnson Ferry Road,Suite 14, Marietta, GA 30068 1-800-537-3784 (voice mail)The center is a non-profit clearinghouse for information on AttentionDeficit Disorder with a special focus on ADD in adults. It publishes abimonthly newsletter, The ADDVISOR, that offers a wealth of prac-tical information on coping with ADD as an adult. Books and cassettetapes on the topic of adult ADD are available through the Center'sresource services. There are also periodic conferences, workshops, andhome-study programs for ADD adults. Write for free information.

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Attention-Deficit Disorders Association (ADDA)PO. Box 972, Mentor, OH 44061 1-800-48i -2282

Children with Attention Deftcit Disorders (CHADD)499 Northwest 70th Avenue, Suite 308 Plantation, FL 33317(305) s87 -3700Both these organizations serve as national clearinghouses for infor-mation, support and advocacy for ADD individuals. CHADD hasnumerous satellite support groups throughout the country.

Challenge, Inc.PO. Box 488, \7. Newbury MA 01985 (508) 462-0495,(800) 7.33.2377.Challenge, Inc. is a national, nonprofit, parent-based organizationfounded in 1986. The organization's primary focus is its bimonthlynewsletter, Challenge, which was the first national newsletter onAttention Deficit Disorder, and which features articles on children aswell as adults. Challenge, Inc. offers members many other benefits,such as prescription medication at wholesale prices.

Individual Membership- $25 ly earProfessionals Membership-$4llyear (for professionals in the fieldwho wish to be listed on Challenge's Professional Referral List)

Disabled USAPresident's Committee on Employment of the Handicapped 111120th Street N\7, 6th Floor, \il7ashington, DC 20036This publication includes reports about the continuing progress for dis-abled individuals and new opportunities for rehabilitation employment.

Learning Disabilities Association (LDA) (formerly theAssociation for Children and Adults with Learning Disabilities)4156 Library Road, Pittsburgh, PA 15734 (417) 341.1515This international organization of parents of learning disabled chil-dren, adults with learning disabilities and professionals has approxi.mately 800 state and local affiliates whose activities include educa-tion, legislation and research. The Nen^usbnefs newsletter is publishedsix times a year and includes information about new developments inthe field. Free informational packets and numerous publications,

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including a list of post-secondary programs, are also available fromthe LDA.

National Netrvork of I-earning Disabled Adults (NNLDA)808 \Uest 82nd Street, F--2, Scottsdale, AR 85257Formed in 1980, the NNLDA provides a supporr network for leam-ing disabled adults, self-help groups, and national organizations. Italso advocates for accommodations for the learning disabled adult ininstitutions and the work place. National activities include a newslet-ter and annual workshop.

National Rehabilitation lnformation Center (NARIC)8455 Colesville Road, Suite 935 Silver Spring, MD, 709L0-33L9(301) s88-e284; (800) 34-NARICFor a nominal fee, this organization can search its database for informationregarding the rehabilitation or employment of individuals with disabilities.

Orton Dyslexia Society8600 LaSalle Road, Chester Bldg., Suite 382 Baltimore, MD 2L704(800) ABC.DI23Numerous state and local chapten of the intemational Orton Society pro-vide education and promote research in dyslexia. A variety of materials, anewsletter and information about post secondary education optioru areavailable. The Orton Society also holds national and sate conferences.

OSERS News in PrintOffice of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services 330 C Street,SW fOtS Switzer Bldg., \Tashington, DC 20707This newsletter conmins ongoing reports about federal activitiesrelated to individuals with disabiliries.

STEP Systematic Tiaining For Effective ParentingSTEP AGS Publishers' Building, Circle Pines, MN 55014STEP groups are offered by various community organizations, localschools, community centers, churches, synagogues, adult educationprograms and mental health providers. For additional information,contact the national STEP coordinator.

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Vocational and Postsecondarv School Organizations

Association of Independent Colleges and SchoolsOne Dupont Circle, NW \Tashington, DC 20036A free directory is available that includes a list of 630 accredited pri-vate business schools and colleges in the United States.

National Center for Research in Vocational Education1960 Kenny Road, Columbus, OH 43710 (800) 848-4815;(614) 486-3655 in OhioThe center offers a variety of materials on technical education, careerplanning and employment preparation.

National Association for Ti.ade and Technical Schools7Z5Z'S7isconsin Avenue, N\7, \Tashington, DC 20007This association distributes a handbook with lists of accredited tradeand technical schools throughout the United States.

National Association of Vocational Education Special Needs Per,sonnel (NAVESNP)Z0Z0 14th Street, Arlington, VA 72201 (703) 572-6IZLThis national organization of professionals in vocational education,focuses on the educational needs of handicapped, disadvantaged, andother special needs' individuals.

Learning Materials

A.D.D. Warehouse300 Northwest 70th Avenue, Suite 102, Plantation, FLA 33317(800) 233-e273This catalog offers a variety of books and tapes available for purchase.Although other sources may be less expensive, this is an excellentcompilation of available materials.

Recording for the Blind, Inc.(RFB) 20 Roszel Road, Princeton, NJ 08540 (800) ZZt-4492 or (609)457-0606 in New Jersey

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Approximately 60,000 free-of-charge recordings are available by mail.Gpes can be bonowed for one year. All requests must be accompaniedby an application form and detailed diagnostic information regardingthe individual's need for these recordings. Eligible individuals includethose who are visually, physicalh and perceptually handicapped.

Talking BooksNational Library Service for the Blind and Physically HandicappedThe Library of Congress (NLS) 1791 Taylor Street, N\7 \Tashington,

DC 70542 (202 ) 882-5500Popular novels, classical literature, magazines, etc. are available freeof charge to individuals with specific reading disabilities. The collec-tion is available through local and regional libraries.

Please note that the tapcs availnble from each of these sources must be played on special tape playersthat are available for loan.

Variable Speed Thp" RecordersAvailable at Radio Shack, other electronics' retail stores and mailorder catalogs, these tape recorders permit changing playback speedwithout loss of voice quality.

Newsletters for ADD Adults

ADDendum,Paul Jaffe, editor c/o CPS, 5041-A Backlick Road, Annandale, VA22003

ADDult NEWS, Mary Jane Johnson, editor76Z0Ivy Place, Toledo, OH 43613

These are excellent newsletters, each with its own particular spe-cialry. ADDendumhtghlights the latest research while rhe ADDuhNE\fS focuses largely on the personal experiences of ADD adults.We highly recommend both these quarterly newsletters.

The ADDVISORSee the Attention Deftcit Resource Center in the section on organi-zations, for information on this newsletter that includes valuableinformation for ADD adults.

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Computer Resources and Software

ABLEDATA National Rehabilitation Information CenterThe Catholic University of America, 4407 Eighth Sreet, NE\Tashington, DC 20017 (202) 635-5822 This cenrer distributes adetailed list of commercial products for use by individuals with a vari-ety of handicaps.

Electronic Bulletin Boards

(Accessed via Modems and Personal Computers)A variety of on-line support groups are available through severalcomputer services. For example, America On-Line@ has a Disabili.ties Forum that includes a folder related to ADD in adults. ProdigyOand CompuServe@ also have ADD bulletin boards. Look for fileslabeled Attention Deficits, Learning Disabilities, etc. You can ner-work with other ADDers across the counrry through these files.

Macintosh Editing Software and Letter Tbmplates

ktterworks @Round Lake Publishing

American Handbook of Business Letters@Nova Development Corporation

Quickletter@\Torking Software, Inc.

Correct Grammar@\Triting Tools' Group

Macintosh Organization Softrvare

First Things First@Visionary Software

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Miscellaneous Macintosh Software

Last Resort@rWorking Software Inc.This is for impulsive ADDers who fail to back up their work or usesurge protectors! This software maintains a copy of every keystrokeand enables you to recreate the document you lost when you forgotto save your work or when the power went out.

Mindset@Visionary SoftwareThis is a wonderful positive self-talk product that displays personalaffirmations. Phrases such as, "l accept myself here and now" and "ltrust the intelligence within me" flash across the top of your screen atperiodic intervals.

IBM Letter Tbmplates

K"y Cortespondence@SoftKey

IBM Organization Software

About Time@SoftSystems Inc.

Messages@Software Grove

Commence@Jensen-James, Inc.

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lndexAA (Alcoholics Anonymous), adoption studies, 22

IZ8-29, 138, 365, 367 adrenalin (epinephrine), 18acceptance: age and ADD, 30-45

of diagnosis, I7l-23 in adolescents, 39-47.of imperfections, lI3-14 in adults, 47-45

access, as fourth step of in elementary schoolmemory , 74-75, 780-82 children , 35-39

acquisition, as first step of hyperactivity and, Il', 39memory, 71 in preschoolers, 33-35

action: in toddlers, 30-33cognitive tempo and, 64-65 aggression, 44inaction balance and, 62-64 alcohol, 43reaction time and, 66-67, 75 alcoholics, alcoholism, I75,wi l l and, 65-66 133, 316, 318

active working memory, 72-73 Alcoholics Anonymous (AA),ADD, see Attention Deficit IZ8-79, 138, 365, 367

Disorder Alducci, L., 378ADD Council of Greater alertness, regulation of, L9-20

Cincinnati, 7, 1,53, 367 allergies, 35, 379additives, food, 74 altered cognitive tempo, 64*65adolescence, 345 American Medical Association

decrease of hyperactivity in, (AMA), 308lL, 39 American Psychiatric

identity vs. confusion in, Association (APA), 9, 1039-42 Anafranil (Clomipramine), 345

"l don't care" attitude in, 38, analogical thinking, 7954l analysis, Freudian, 350, 351,

medication and, 308 356-57, 360risky behavior in, 41, 82-83 Analytic Psychotherapy, 357

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anger, 116, 734-35answering machines, 258antidepressants, 54, 330,

336_44Bupropion (\Tellbutrin) , 344MAO inhibitors, 339-40tricyclic, 328, 336-38see also Prozac

antipsychotics, 346-47anxiety, memory and, 288-89APA (American Psychiatric

Association), 9, 10apologizing, L65appointment calendars, 269,

270-7 rAssertiveness Training , 368-69Association for Children with

Learning Disabilities, 302associations, visualization

combined with, 294-95asthma, 35attention, 8, 9, 246

advantage of lack of, 384-85manifestations of problems

w i th , 11 -13neurological control center

for, 327 -78one channel operational

system and, 48-49selective, 62see also memory

Attention Deficit Disorder(ADD):

alcoholism compared with,133

benefits of, 38I-404definition of, 8diagnosis and treatment of, 3,

8-11 , 106-23

differences caused by, 46-79fantasy of future and, 4IL-I3impact of growing up with,

79-45initial discovery ol 106labels given to, 8-9learning disabilities and,

30r-zas malicious behavior, 74-?,5prevalence of, 25-26research on, 8-9 , 16-17,

rg-25, 3 10-1 1as running in families, 206substance abuse and, 316-17symptoms of, 10-15, 46-79with and without

hyperactivity, 9- 10, 73, 28Attention Deficit Hyperactivity

Disorder (ADHD), 9audiologists, 34-35auditory leaming , 286auditory memory , 283, Z9Zauto-defense and attack mode.

r66axons, 17-18Ayres, A. Jean , 369-70

balance, 124-46, 369, 37Iimportance of, LZ4-25maintenance of, 145-46"one rat study" and, l3Z, I34personal schedule and,

r3z-33problematic aspects of, I?.6questions for evaluating issues

of, 130-31safety nets and, 138-39simplicity/complex ity

equarion and, 140-42

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slicing and dicing techniques breathing, deep, 288for, L43-45 budgets, 143

between structure and bulimia, 341freedom , 125-26 bulldozers, 103

value of examining issues bulletin boards, 264involving, 127-28, 143 Bupropion (Wellbutrin) , 344

bargaining, after diagnosis, 118 Bush, George, 150bartering, I44, l8Z Buspirone (Buspar),347bedwetting, 336Behavioral Therapy, 350 , 351, caffeine, 349

353-55, 359 calendars, appointment, 7.69,Better, Cathy, IZ3 270-71biofeedback, 377-79 Canada, 345blame: cancer wellness programs, 376

as defense mechanism, 85-86 can't/shouldn't do list, 137-38and disapproval, cycle of, see Caramazepine (Tegretol),344

developmental ages carbon paper, 757 -58

theory of ,2L-73, 7.4, 29 careers, see workblood pressure, 370-71, Catepres (Clonidine), 344-45

331-32, 339, 340, 345 CAT scans, 17blood tests, 108, 337, 346 central nervous system (CNS),body language, L50-52, 155., 328, 34L, 371

165, 168, 169, 170, I7Z, ADD as disorder of, 8,ztt 46-47 , rZ5, 17.6

bone marrow suppression, 337 early damage to, 73boredom, 1 1 , 43 , 98, l4l messenger system of' 1 7- 18boundary needs, 7IZ-13 cerebral hemisphere, 327brain, 9, 126, 37I childbirth:

filtering mechanism of, 51 complications tn, 23frontal lobes of, 18*19 natural techniques for, 377imaging and, 16 children , 345two primary components of, allergies and, 379

377 hyperactivity and, 9, 27 -28

see also information lead poisonin g and, 73processing; negative self-perceptionneurotransmitters developed by, 5-7

Brain Massage, 373-74 Ritalin's effect on, 307-8brain scans, 108 Sensory Integration and, 371brainstem , 377, 369 society's undervaluing of, 177

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children (cont.\spacing ol 208-9temperamental styles of,

zz-23Tourette Syndrome and,

332-33tricyclic antidepressants and,

336see also developmental ages;

family relatibnships"chip on the shoulder" attitude,

90-91chiropractors, 308chlorpromazine (Thorazine),

346choice, memory and, 289-90chores, family, 737chunkin g, 796Cincinnati, University of,

302-3Clinical Depression, 54Clomipramine (Anafran iI), 345Clonidine (Catepres), 344-45closure, 44, 388CNS, see central nervous systemcodependency, 85coding, memory and, 7I-7?.,

296_97Cognitive Psychotherapy,

352-53, 359cognitive tempo, 64-65collective unconscious, 357Comic personality sketch,

399-401communication, 407

art vs. science of, L49-52computers and, 148-49importance of skills in, 148,

157.,200

manners and, 157.-54social hazards in, 152-56technology and, 179-80telephones and, 154-56unspoken rules in, 164verbal vs. nonverbal, 150-52written, I82see also relationships; speech

Community Times, 123complexity/simplicity equation,

r40-47computers, 406-7

Cognitive Psychotherapy and,353

communication and, 148-49leaming styles and, 181-82random access memory of,

77-73usefulness of, 758-59

consultants, 190, 191continuing education classes, 182control, as defense mechanism,

95-97convergent retrieval, 7 5coping strategies, see defense

mechanismsCorgard (Nadolol), 347counterculture therapy, 309Cousins, Norman, 309, 375cravings, 54-55creativity, 44-45, 385-86credit cards, 43Cylert (pemoline), 330, 335-36

Dardig, Jill C. , 238dating, 194-Z0I

descriptions of relationshipsin, 194-99

survival tips for, 199-Z0I

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deep breathing, 288defense mechanisms, 80-105,

130, 351blame, see blamecharacter sketch descriptions

of, 97 -I03"chip on the shoulder"

attitude, 90-91control, 95-97denial, 93-94, 116-17examples of, 87-97Freudian analysis and, 357function of, 80-81learned helplessness, 94-95manipulation, 88-90overuse of, 81'-82perfectionism, 83-85risky behavior, 82-83"take me or leave me"

arritude, 97-93"who cares" attitude, 86-88,

90withdrawal, 90

dendrites, 17-18denial:

as defense mechanism, 93-94in grief process, 116-17

depression, I41,, 345, 347ADD compared with, 3,

53-54Cognitive Psychotherapy and,

352after diagnosis, 1 18-21euphoria vs., 126

designated quiet zones, 2I4desipramine (Norpramin) , 336,

337desires, needs and, 54-56, LZ6,

r44-45

desktop frles, 764details:

aversion to, 50global thinking vs., 17'6

developmental ages' 30-45adolescence, 39-42adulthoo d, 42-45elementary school years,

35-39infancy, 30preschool years, 33-35toddler years, 30-33

dextroamphetamine(Dexedrine), 330, 334-35

diagnosis, 106-10acceptance of, LZL-7'3bargaining after, 118depression after, 1 18-21importance of, 104-5as medical dilemma, 3, 8-1 1medical tests in, 108-10personal understanding of,

1 1 0reactions to, LI4-15self-education and, 107see also treatment

Diagnostic and StatisticalManual (DSM), 9-10

diet:and food additives and sugar'

74tyramine and, 339

Diet Therapy , 379differential thinking, 795digressions, 165directionality, 60disinhibition, 63dissatisfaction, 53divergent retrieval, 75

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do adequately list, 136-37Doc in a Box , 399Don't Forget (L"pp) , 279, 283dopamine, 18, 327do well list, 133-36down time, 213-14Dreamachine,3T4Drucker, Peter F., 393drugs, see medication; substance

abusedry drunks, 318dry mouth, 320, 337, 340DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical

Manua l ) ,9 -10dyes, food, 24Dynamic Therapy, 358

ear infections, 34-35eating:

patterns of , 33physiological slowdown after,

57Edison, Thomas Alva, 301, 388education, I82, 189-90

learning disorders and, 307-3Montessor i ,3T l

educational remediation, 356,360

Education for All HandicappedChildren Act ( 197 5\ , 302

EEG Biofeedback, 377 -79elementary school years,

industry vs. inferiority in,35-39

emergencies, determination of,ZL4_T5

emotional incontinence. L)l-Zemotional living space, TLZemotions, extreme swings of, 57

empathy , 33, 357 -58employment, see workendorphins, 18Entrepreneur personality sketch,

393-94environmental toxins, 23epinephrine (adrenalin), 18ergonomtcs, T56Erikson, Eric, 30euphoria, depression vs. , 126"Everyday, Get out the Door"

l ists, 7.73-74

facilitati on, 62-63failure:

substance abuse and, 316talking yourself into, 169-70

faith healing, 308-9family chores, 237 , ?.38-41family meetings, 230-41

bargaining and negotiationin, 237-38

contracts and, 7.39-4Idesign of , 233-4Ldiffusing of anger in, 234-35effective brainstorming and

problem-solving in,235-36, 239-39

equal opportunityparticipation in, 733-34,236

establishing rules for, 233,734

expectations of perfectionand, Z4l-43

family chores and, 237,238-4r

general principles and rules ofconduct {or,237

432

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goals and objectives of,230-3r

professional counseling and,23r-32

shared authority in, 779-30,235

family relationships, 44, tZ5,rz7 , z0L-43

ADD in, 206descriptions of, 201-8,

209- t7 ,218-20in elementary school years,

38emotional temperature and,

7 1 6 - 1 7equations of, 203, 205evenings out and, 225-78finances and, 209mealtimes and, 220-?.5principles of government and,

229-43privacy and, 210- 1 1stress levels and, 230survival tips for, 708-9,

zrz-17Family Therapy, 717, Z3l,

362-63fax machines, 180FDA (Food and Drug

Administration) , 3L6, 345feedback , 166-67

bio-, 377 -79Feingold, Benjamin, 74Feingold Diet, 379filing systems, 26I-62finances, 140, I43,209food, tyramine in, 339Food and Drug Administration

(FDA) , 3t6, 345

food dyes and additives, 24Ford, Henry, 170forgiveness, of yourself, 78"found" ttme, 776freedom, structure vs. , L25-26Freudian psychoanalysis, 350,

35 1, 356-57 , 360friendships, see relationshipsfrontal lobes, 18-19functional dysfunctionals, 44Future Shock (Tof{ler), 74

generic drugs, 333-34generic letters, 182Gestalt Therapy , 309, 359G etting OrganiTed ( Winston),

249, Z5Zglobal thinking, details vs., 126Gone with the Wind, 80-82, 94govemment, family, see family

meetingsgrief process, 94, ll4-I7group (paired) association, 295Group Psychotherapy, 360-71

Assertiveness Training,368-69

Family, 2L2, ?.3I , 362-63Psychoeducation, 363-65Self-help , 354, 365-68Sensory Integration, 369-7 ISocial Skills Training , 363

haloperidol (Haldol), 346handwriting, 64hard to get, playing, I99Head Firsc, The Biolog1 of Hope

(Cousins\ , 37 5hearing loss, 34-35help, asking for, L44

433

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heredity, parenting vs. , 20-7,1,zz

Heward, William L., 238hidden agendas, 176high blood pressure, 320-ZL,

331-32, 339, 345humor, 97, 399-401hyperactivity, 8, 126, 379

ADD and, 9-10, 23, ZBadolescence and decrease in,

1 1 , 3 9as asset vs. deficit, 15, 44,

386-87in boys vs. girls, 27 -ZBfluctuating levels of, 56-58as range of behaviors, L4sedatives and, 308

hypertension, 320-21, 331-32,339, 345

hypotension, 340

IDP Dynamic, 53I-messages, 1,71-77., 235, 368Imipramine (Tofranil) , 336immediate (working) memory,

28rimmune system, 309, 375, 376impulsiveness, 8, 77, 89, 166,

t75 , 327benefits of , 44, 387-88childhood accidents and,

3r-37dating and, 194-95, 196, 200definition and description of,

r3-t4, 67.-64medication and, 325Prozac and, 370, 340shopping and, 43, 56, I43speech and, 62-64, 166, 187

therapy and, 3I?.-I3triggering of , 53

inaction, see actioninattention, see attentionindex cards, 275-76infancy, trust vs. mistrust in, 30inferiority, sense of , 5-7, 35-39information explosion, 24information processing, 3

cognitive tempo and, 64-65input/output problems and,

6r-7 |learning disabilities and, 60

inhibition, 67-63Innoqt ation and Entr epr eneur ship

( Drucke r) , 393in/out baskets, 264input/output problems, 61- 7 1

action/inaction balance and,62_64

brain shut down and, 69-7 |cognitive tempo and, 64-65description of, 6l-62mental fatigue and, 67 *69output learning disabilities,

300reaction time and, 66-67will and , 65-66

input/perceptual learningdisabilities, 300

instant recall, 72, Z8linsurance, 1 11, 308 , 333, 334integration learning disabilities,

300intensity , 52-53, I7Z, L96-97 ,,

200intention, selective, 62intercom s, Zl5interfacing, I47

434

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intimacy, fear of, 196Inventor personality sketch,

388-90irritability, 53Isocarboxazid (Marplan), 339

job skills, 406Johnson, Samuel, 278Jungian Therapy, 357

"Keep it simple," 138, l4l, 762kinesthetic memory, 283,

292-93kinesthetic/tactile learning,

286, 787kleptomania, 340-41

Lamaze technique, 377language and speech therapy,

355-56, 360L"pp, Danielle , 279, Z8l, 7.83lead poisonin g, 23learned helplessness, 94-95learning, tips {or, 297 -98learning disabilities (LD) , 246,

278, 299-303, 356, 388definition and rypes of, 300education and, 302-3incidence of, 299-300spatial difficulties and, 60

learning styles, 76, 181-82,784-87

auditory , 286tactile/kinesthet ic, 786visual, 785, ?.86-87

letter openers, 257letters, generic, I87Levine, M., 67.Lithium, 345-46

Is

l iver, 336Living More With Less

(Longacre), 140locking in and blocking out,

49-50logic, 167Longacre, Doris Janzen, 140long term memory, 73-74low blood pressure, 340

magazines and newspapers,752-53

magnetic resonance imaging, 16mail order catalogs, 260manic-depressive disorders, 345manipulation, as defense

mechanism, 88-90manners , I5Z-54MAO (monoamine oxidase)

inhibitors, 339-40Marplan (lsocarboxazid) , 339marriage, 44Massage Therapy , 372-73t tmert t ( (we"

and, 200

mealtimes, 270*25descriptions of, ZZ0-73survival tips for, 723-25

medication, 110, 313-49authors' disclaimer about,

328-29authors' personal experiences

with, 320-?.3bargaining and, 118dosage levels and, 377-73,

325-26drug trials and, 325-77effectiveness of , 377-79generic vs. trade name forms

of, 333-34

435

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medication (conr. )miscellaneous, 344-49rebound effect and, 330*3 1,

335risk/benefit equation and,

3r4-r5, 343substance abuse and, 315-17taking of, 3I3-I4at workplace, 185-86your role in use of, 318-20,

324see also antidepressants;

stimulants; specrf c drugsMegatrend.s (Naisb itr.), 407Megawends 2000 (Naisbitt and

Aburden e) , 407 -8, 409Mellaril (thioridazine) , 346memory, 9, 60-6I,71,-76, 183,

246, Z7g-303access and, 7 4-7 5, 280-8?.acquisition and, 71anxiety and, 288-89associations and , 294-95auditory , 283, Z9Zchoice and, 289-90comprehension and, 291context and, 79Ifunction and process of,

2 i8-80information input and,

z8z_84kinesthetic, 283 , 292-93lapses in, 280leaming and, 284-87mnemonic devices and,

295-97multi-sensory, 293observation and, 290-91overall, 283

paper pile management and,765-66

registration and, 7I-72relaxation techniques and,

288Ritalin and, 322rote, 72, 74, Z9lstorage and, 77.-74, 280-82techniques for, 287 -97transfer and, 75visual, 7.83, Z9I-97., 294

memory leaming disabilities,300

men:control and, 95-97language of women vs., 150leamed helplessness and, 95,

96mental fatigue, 67 -69mental health professionals:

referrals for, L07two main categories of, 304types of, 108see also psychotherapy

message centers, 215-L6methylphenidate , see Ritalin,

generic vs. trade nameforms of

middle ear infections, 34-35middle finger sign, 150Minnesota, University of , 22mnemonic devices, 295-97monoamine oxidase (MAO)

inhibitors, 339-40Montessori education, 371moral inventory, 130, 138, I47motivation:

job performance and, 69, 98memory and, 76

436

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motor coordination, 33-34,37 4-7 5

mouth, dryness in, 320, 337 ,340

movies, family trips to, 725-78multi-sensory memory, 293muscle relaxation, 288, 375"must-do's" and "should-do's, "

r39-43"My Child Couldn't Pay

Attention" (Alducci), 378

Nadolol (Corgard), 347Naisbitt, John, 407 , 408, 409Nardil (Phenelzine), 339National Institutes of Health,

309natural childbirth techniques,

377nature, nurture vs., 20-ZL, 22needs, desires and, 54-56, 126,

1,44-45neurologists, 108neurology, 17-18neuroses, 350neurotransmitters, 18

drug response and, L6-I7,325, 337, 341

function of, 18, 327 -28see also specific

newrotTdnsmittersnewspapers and magazines,

257.-53Neu.,sqre ek, 309New York Longitudinal Study,

22nicotine , 347 -49NMR (nuclear magnetic

resonance), 16

"no," inabiliry to express, 84noise, 183-84nonverbal communication,

150-52, r55, 165, 169,169, 170, 172, Zrl

"No pain, No gain," 167noradrenaline (norepinephrine),

327, 3Zg, 337, 339, 341Norpramin (desipramine) , 336,

337nuclear magnetic resonance

(NMR), 16nurture, nature vs., 20-2I,77.

observation, memory and,290-9r

obsessive-compuls ive disorders,345

Occupational Therapists, 369,370

Oedipal stage, 350office equipment, 182-83Office for the Study of

Unconventional MedicalPractices, 309

Office of Education, U.S. , 299"on the run" conversations, 215organization, 3, 244-77

beginning tips for, 246-50cardinal rules for, 26I-67filing systems and, 26I-62general mess management,

250-54general office management,

754-56paper pile management,

259-61, 262, 263-69practical mess management

tools, 256-59

437

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organization (cont.)questionnaire on, 244-45Ritalin and, 370, 327, 329simplicity and, 262spatial difficulties and, 60-61time management and,

269_77Orton Dyslexia Society, 302otitis media, 34-35output leaming disabilities, 300

see also input/output problemsoutside help, hiring of, 144overall memory, 283overpersistence, 49-50, 59

paired (group) association, 295paper pile management,

259-6r, 262, 7.63-69bulletin boards and, 764cardinal rules for, 76I-62categorization of, 260-61color-coding and, 266-67cues and prompts and,

265-66desktop files and , 764filing systems for, 261-62in/out baskets and, 264ongoing to do lists and,

267 -68personal yellow pages and,

264-65planning notebooks and, 260,

266, 776Post-lt Notes and, 267, 776scheduling and location of

handling of , 267simplicity and, 262storage and access of, 763-64to do's of , 263-68

Parent handling the Disorder(Ph.D. ) , 321

parenting, heredity vs. , Z0-ZI,72

parents, 40blame theory and, ZI-23, 29family meetings role of , 279,

737, 740feelings of inadequacy and,

33individual strengths and

weaknesses of, 206-8see also family relationships

Pamate (Tranylcypromine), 339party animals, 100-101passing for normal, 103-4PDR (Physicians Desk

Reference), 330peer pressure, 40pemoline (Cylert), 330, 335-

336Penicillin, 343perceptuauinput leaming

disabilities, 300perfectionism, 83-85personal yellow pages, 264-65pessimism, 53Peter Pan Syndrome, 97 -99pets, 52, 27.3Ph.D. (Parent handling the

Disorder), 321Phenelzine (Nardil), 339phobia, definition of, 154-55physicians, 108, II0, 324Physicians Desk Reference

(PDR) ,330planning notebooks, 260, 766,

276playing hard to get, L99

438

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Plumber personality sketch,398-99

postage scales and stamps,256_57

Post-lt Nores, 267, 2T6Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,

69_70powerlessness, LZ9, 130pregnancy, complications in, 23preschool years, initiative vs.

guilt in, 33-35primary sleep disorder , 20, 336Prince Charming, I98, ZOIprivacy, Zl}-Llprocrasrinarion, 1 1, IZ-13, 51,

276_77Professional Dilettanre

personality sketch, 402-4progressive muscle relaxation,

2gg, 375proprioceptive sense, 369Prozac (fluoxetine

hydrochloride) , 324,340_44

benefits of , 320, 340-4Icontroversy over, 342-43dosage levels of, 34Iside effects of, 341, 342-43

psychiatrists, 108Psychodrama, 359Psychqdynamic Psychotherapy,

3 5 6 , 3 5 7Psychoeducation, 363-65psychologists, 108, 109psychotherapy, lI4-15

Analytic, 357Behavioral, 350, 35I,

353-55, 359Cognitive, 352-53, 359

Dynamic, 358Freudian, 350, 35L, 356-57,

360Gestalt, 309, 359group, 360-7IJungian, 357Psychodrama, 359Psychodynamic, 356, 357Reality, 358Self.Psychology, 357 -55stigma attached to, 304-6Sullivanian, 35 7Transactional Analysis , 358-59

quiet zones, 2I4

random access memory (RAM),72-73

R"pp, Doris, 379reaction time, 66-67 , 7 5reading skills, 165Reality Therapy, 358rebound effecr, 330-3 L, 335recovery:

acceptance and, lzl-7.3balance and, 124-46definition of, llzdepression and, LL8-ZIgoal of, 130grief process in, ll4-I7hitting rock bottom and, LZ5moral inventory and, 130self-evaluarion and, 133-38"should-do's" and "must-

do's, " 139-43social benefits of, I77twelve-step programs and,

128-30see also fteatment

439

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registration, memory and,7 1-72

rehearsal, memory and, 7l-72relationships, 43, 147 -ZI7

dating, 194-Z0Ldescriptions of, 157-62,

167 -77, 175-77, 1,94-99,201-8, 209-12

feedback and, 166-67in groups, L57 -67impaired social skills and,

76-78orre-orr-orrer t67--73survival tips for, L6Z-67,

170-73, 177 -87, 199-201,7.lz-17

at workplace, t7 4-93see also communication;

family relationships; speechrelaxation techniques, 7.88, 375Relaxman, 374religion, I45remedial writing classes, l8Zreminder lists, 273respiratory problems, 35rest and relaxation zones,

zr3*r4reticular activating system,

19-20retrieval, of memory, 7 4-7 5retum address stamps, 257"revolutionary bad ejectot," 142risky behavior:

in adolescence, 4I, 82-83in adulthood, 58benefits of, 44childhood accidents and,

3l-3?., 58as defense mechanism, 82-83

Rital in, 58, 64, 93, l l7, 118,3?.4, 329-34, 337 , 343,381

benefits of , 370-22, 329children and, 307-8as controlled substance, 315dosage levels of , 327, 326,329duration of effects of, 329-30generic vs. trade name forms

of, 333-34side effects of, 370-21',

330-32rote memorization, 77, 74, 79Irules:

following and questioning of,r77 -78

unwritten, 164, 178-79"runner's high," 18

Salesperson personality sketch,397 -98

scales, postage, 257schedules, weekly, L3Z-33Scheiber, Barbara, 785schizophrenia, 3-4"school" lists, 274Scientist personality sketch,

395-97sedatives, 308seizure disorders, 374selective attention and

intention, 67self-employment, 190-91self-esteem:

and acceptance ofimperfections, lI3-14

boosting of , 7, 111low, 5-7 , 35-39, 4?.recovery and, 130, 382

440

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self-evaluation, 133-38can't/shouldn't do list,

137-38do adequately list, 136-37do well list, 133-36

self-help books, 244-45self-help programs, 354, 365-68self-medication, 316-17, 318Self-Psychology, 357 -58Sensory Integration (SI),

369-7 rSerenity Prayer, LZ9serotonin, 327 , 337 , 339, 34Is e x , 4 t , 8 2 , 8 4 , 1 0 1sexual abuse, 373shopping, impulsivity and, 43,

56, 143Short Attention Span Thearcr,

The, 11short term memory, 73, 37.7"should-do's" and "must-do's,"

r39_43SI (Sensory Integration),

369-7 rs ies tas ,5TSign Her e: A Contracting Book

for Children and TheirParents (Dardig andHeward) , 238

simplicity/complexity equation,r40-42

single-mindedness, 11skin patches, 345sleep disorder, primary, 20, 336sleeping pattems , 33, I42Smith, Lendon, 24smoking , 347 -49, 354social activities, selection of,

r67

social skills, 38, 44impairment in, 37, 42, 76-78

Social Skills Training , 363socioeconomic status, 44sorting and filing, 60space, sense of, 60-61space cadets, 99-100speech:

developmental lags in, 34-35digressions and, 165hyperactive, I4-I5impulsivity and, 62-64, L66,

187reaction time and, 66-67 , 7 5rhythm and, 150timing of, 165verbal incontinence and,

r02-3see also communication;

relationshipsspeech and language therapy,

355-56, 360sports:

action/inaction balance and,64

spatial difficulties and, 60stamps, postage, 757stamps, retum address, 257standards, lowering of, 145staples, 257S.T.A.R. (Stop, Think, Act,

and Reflect), I87 , 319steno pads, 275-76STEP programs, 741Sti l l , G. F., 8stimulants, 3-4, 316, 328,

329-36as preventative measure,

3 1 7 - 1 8

44r

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stimulation, over- vs. under-,126, 1 .41

Stop, Think, Act, and Reflect(s .T.A.R.) , 187,319

storage, memory and, 72-74'280-82

stress, 139assessment of, 230disorder and, 746-47indicators of, 1.32, 134work-related, 183

structure, freedom vs., 175-26Stuff Inventory, 250-5Isubstance abuse, 41, 43, 44, 55,

87, 101, 336of medications, 315-17

success, 404-6sugar, 24, 379Sullivan, Harry Stack, 357support groups, 63, 106-7 '

133 34group communication in,

L6r-62professional referrals from,

10isymptom management, 186Systematic Training for

Effective Parenting (STEP)programs, T4I

systems, theory of, 61

TA (Transactional AnalYsis),358-59

tactile defensiveness, 52tactile/kinesthetic learning,

286, 287tactile sense, 369"take me or leave me" attitude,

92-93

Talpers, Jeanne, 285Tardive dyskines ia, 346-47T-cells, 3 75teacher plan books, 272teachers , 79, 40

ADD recognition and, 38-39negative feelings instilled bY,

5-6, 34, 35, 59Tegretol (Caramazepine) , 344telephones, 154-56, ZZ8

callback schedule for, 27 6communication problems on'

r54-55manners and, I53mealtim es and, 773survival tips for use of, 156at workplace, 184-85

television, 797 -98

temperamental styles, ofchildren , 22.-23

templates, I8Ztemporary work, l9l-9/Terrible Z's, 31, 33, 34Testy, Telephone Tyrant

Syndrome (TTTS), 154,156

"therapeutic window effect, "338

therapy, 304-23, 350-80alternative, 306-10, 37 l-79and being your own case

manager , 3lI-17.educational remediation, 357,

360impulsivity and, 3lZ-13language and speech,

355-56,360see also medication;

psychotherapy

442

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thinking, analogical vs.differential, 295

Thioridazine (Mellaril) , 346Thorazine (chlorpromazine),

346Three (or Four) Big Boxes, 751,

2.57time:

daily logs and sheets and,270, z7z-73

elastic sense of, 58-60, 131,zz6

"Everyday, Get out the Door"lists and, ?.73-74

"found, " 27 6management of, 269-77management tools for,

770-72procrastination and, 1 1,

17.-13, 51, 276-77reminder lists and, 773"school" l ists and, 274steno pads and index cards

and, 275-76waterproof alarm watches

and, 77 5weekly schedules and,

r32-33TM (Transcendental

Medi ta t ion) ,377toddler years, autonomy vs.

shame and doubt in, 30-33"To Do" lists, 59, 147, 767-68Toffler, Alan, 74Tofranil (lmipramine), 336toilet training, 33touch, sensitivity to, 57Tourette Syndrome (TS),

332-33, 346

toxins, environmental, 23Transactional Analysis (TA),

358-59Transcendental Meditation

(TM) , 377transfer, memory and, 75Tranylcypromine (Parnate), 339trash cans, 252rreatment, lI0-23

bargaining and, 118cost of , 111personal role in, 110-11see also medication; recovery

tricyclic antidepressanrs, 328,336-38

triggers, 355TS (Tourette Syndrome),

332-33, 346TTTS (Testy, Telephone

Tyrant Syndrome), I54,r56

twelve-step groups, 55, 128-30,139, 365, 367

twins, studies on, 22tyramine , 339

underarousal, 20, 57 -58Undifferentiated ADD, 9U nlocking P otential ( Sche iber

and Talpers), 285

verbal incontinence, L02-3vestibular sense, 369Virtual Reality, 37 4-7 5visualization techniques, 288,

294-95visual learning , 285, 286-87 ,

37 s-7 6visual memory,283, 791-9?., 294

443

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vocational planning, 189-90"V" sign, 150

wandering mind syndrome, 47watches, waterproof and alarm,

77st t *er t t ( (mgt t

and, 200

weekly schedules, I3Z-33weight loss, 354, 355Wellbutrin (Bupropion) , 344"Wlwt Drives Me the Craziest"

l ist, 250white blood cells, 332"who cares" attitude, 86-88, 90will, paralysis of, 65-66Winston, Stephante, 249, Z5Zwithdrawal, as defense

mechanism, 90Woman's Day, 378women:

control and, 96language of men vs., 150leamed helplessness and,

94-95work, 175

choice and change of, 144,1 87-90

computers and, 181-82difficulties in, 43, 44, 49inner circle at, L79job skills and, 406medication and, 185-86

noise, doors, and telephones?t, 183-85

office equipment and, 182-83office management and,

754-56rules and, I77 -79self-employment, 190-91selling your ideas at, 178social relationships and,

17 4-93stress and, 183technology and

communication at, 179-180

temporary, I9l-92written communication at,

r87workaholism, 11, IZ, L26"work details," 273, 777-28working (immediate) memory,

781,Writer personality sketch,

390-93written communication, I8Z,

301

X-rays, 16

yellow pages, personal , 764-65Yoga, 372you-messages, l7I-72, 234,

735,368

444

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About the AuthorsKate KellyMs. Kelly is a master's prepared clinical specialist in psychiatric nursing.Her professional background includes experience as as a therapist,assistant professor and clinical coordinator for psychobiological research.Her graduate education focused on chronic mental illness and thisorientation eventually led her to an interest in the mental health self-help movement. She became a champion for individuals with severemental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, believing that even those withsevere impairments could leam to manage their own illnesses.

Ms. Kelly's prior publishing credits include an article entitled FostenngSeIf-HeIp on anlnpanentLJnit, published in the Archives of PsychiatricNursing. This article chronicled the results of her work in developinga model for an inpatient group that helped chronically mentally illpatients learn and share effective coping strategies.

Following her diagnosis with ADHD in 1989, Ms. Kelly's work movedin a new direction. Combining her personal and professional interestsin adult ADD, she began to focus on this emerging area of mentalhealth. Responding to the need to provide services for ADD adults,she founded the adult support group of the Attention Deficit DisorderCouncil of Greater Cincinnati in February of 1990. Although she nolonger facilitates this group, she continues to consult with the Councilon adult ADD and support group issues.

The information Ms. Kelly gathered from available literature and thepersonal stories of ADD adults in Cincinnati and nationwide lead toher work in writin g I'm I.'J ot Inzy , Stupid or CraTyJ ? Currently she isusing her personal and professional experiences and knowledge to givepresentations on adult ADD for lay and professional groups. She alsoworks in private practice leading psychoeducational therapy groups forADD adults.

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Peggy RamundoRecognized as an outstanding teacher, Ms. Ramundo compieted post-graduate work in leaming disabilities, behavior disorders and Montessorieducation. \Torking with culturally disadvantaged children most ofher career, she became an advocate for the right of every child to leam.She designed and implemented a non-graded primary curriculum, taughtsummer enrichment reading programs and served as a demonstrationteacher. A committed and innovative parent, Ms. Ramundo has servedas president of the boards of the Clifton Child Study Parent Group andCenter Rooms

'West Montessori. \fhen the parent corporation closed

the \fest site, she spear-headed a movement to create a new school.Under her direction, the new non-proflt Clifton Montessori Centerwas formed to continue the tradition of providing tuition-free scholar-ships to many children from low-income families.

After her son's ADD diagnosis in 1987, Ms. Ramundo began extensivelyresearching the disorder. Drawing on her experience as a dedicatedteacher and parent, she co-founded the Attention Deficit DisorderCouncil of Greater Cincinnati and continues to serve as a board member.

Ms. Ramundo works professionally as an educational consultant. In1990, she founded NIADD, The National Institute for AttentionDeficit Disorder. As Executive Director, she conducts workshops andin-service training sessions throughout the country for parents, educatorsand mental health professionals, and lectures extensively on ADD.

After Ms. Ramundo's diagnosis, she began to focus on ADD issues inadolescents and adults. Currently, she is helping college students andyoung adults access available services, manage their leaming at the post.secondary level, and make decisions about course selection and careers.

YouMeanl'm Not Laz) , Stupid or CraTyJ? has evolved from Ms.Ramundo's research, personal and professional experiences and theexperiences of the countless numbers of ADD children, adolescentsand adults with whom she has worked. Her other publishing creditsinclude handbooks for parents and teachers entitled, Tipt, Tools andTeclmiques far Mutaging Attennon Deficit Disorder and Understanding andManaging Au,ennon Deficit Disorder in the Clnssroom.