you're a real teacher if
TRANSCRIPT
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you declare “no cuts” when a shopper squeezes ahead of you
in a checkout line.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you can “sense” gum.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you move your dinner partner’s glass away from the edge of the
table.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you sing the “Alphabet Song” to yourself as you look up a
number in the phone book.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.
And then you ask “Does everyone understand?”
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you cheer when you hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you can’t walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up
the line.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes,
18 seconds. (Master teachers eat even
faster.)
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a
theater with a group of friends.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask
permission.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you know the best day-before-a-vacation
lesson plans can come from Blockbuster.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from your classroom to the
office.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you say “I like the way you did that” to the mechanic who
repairs your car.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you ask “Are you sure you did your best?” to the mechanic who fails to repair your car.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have your best conferences in the parking lot.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you will eat anything that is put in the teacher’s lounge
(but only AFTER you find out which family provided it).
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you ask a quiet person at a party if he has something to share
with the group.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you know that secretaries and custodians run the school.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have the assistant principals’ and counselors’ home phone
numbers.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
meeting a child’s parents instantly answers the question,
“Why is this kid like this?”
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you believe chocolate is a food group.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when out in
public.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have no time for a life from August to June.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who
would never DREAM of doing your job.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you
heard it uttered.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have classroom rules about where people may put their
feet.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you are irritated by adults who chew gum in public.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you write your name conspicuously on all personal
objects, including your car keys, your masking tape, your textbook, and your chair.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you always, to your family’s embarrassment, turn a pizza
into a math lesson on fractions.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
stacking piles of papers on the floor seems like a logical filing
system to you.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you correct the grammar and spelling on restaurant menus.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you consider a 2.3% pay raise above average.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair
(or toilet).
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House and
Parent Teacher Conferences.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you have explained to a child that being a rock in the school play
is an important role.
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You’re a REAL teacher if…
you raise your hand when the server at the restaurant asks if
anyone would like water.