今日課程 Chapter 6: Listening and Responding Chapter 8: Communication and Identity 下週： Chapter 10 & 11

Ch 6: Focus Questions

How do listening and hearing differ? How does effective listening differ when

listening for information and listening to support others?

How can we improve our listening skills? What are effective ways to express support

for others? How can you control obstacles to effective

listening?

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Listening and Responding

People tend to more focus on talking Studies show: Average person spends 45%-

53% of waking time on listening to others Total listening time may even greater (if

radio…, background…included) Listening as No. 1 quality of effective

manager (survey of 1,000 HR professionals)

Hearing & Listening

Hearing is a physiological activity Sound wave & ear

drum Other messages

received at the same time (sight)

Listening

The Listening Process Being mindful

Focus on what is happening in the moment An ethical commitment; Leaders must want to listen! Enhance communication

Increasing understanding of what others feel & think Promoting more complete communication by others

Physically receiving communication Women are more attuned to what is going on around Men tend to direct hearing in a specific way Women likely to notice contexts, details, themes in

interaction Average: 300 words/min understood; 100 in speaking

The Listening Process (2)

Selecting and organizing communication Perception & Attention Study: Teachers unintentionally give more attention to male

than female students… As we listen: categorize people→assess them →apply ster

eotype→choose a script Perceptions can be wrong. Be ready to revise them!

Interpreting communication Recognizing others’ viewpoint doesn’ t mean you agree wit

h them; it does mean you make an earnest effort to grasp what they think and feel.

The Listening Process (3)

Responding Signs of being involved in interaction

Remembering Recall of literal messages vs. Recall of

interpretation of them Memory fading

Remember less than half immediately after we hear it Recall 35% after 8 hours

Obstacles to Effective Listening

Situational obstacles Message overload Message complexity (next slide: sentence structure) Environmental distractions

Internal Obstacles Preoccupation Prejudgment Lack of effort Not recognizing diverse listening styles

e.g., Nepalese give little vocal feedback

Example of Heavy Sentencefrom University of Chicago, Writing Program

The dog, overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life, and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days, nevertheless chased the ball.

The dog chased the ball, even though she was both overcome with a sense of futility at the unfairness of life and miserable at the inattention of her master, who had become so addicted to TV reality shows that he had not left his recliner in over three days.

Forms of Ineffective Listening Pseudo-listening Monopolizing

Conversational rerouting Interrupting

Selective listening Defensive listening Ambushing

Politics: Gathering ammunition to use in attacking a speaker

Literal listening Content level vs. Relationship level of meaning

Guidelines for Effective Listening Informational & critical listening

Be mindful Control obstacles Ask questions Use aids to recall

Repeating (e.g., people’s names) Mnemonics

Organize information

Guidelines for Effective Listening

Relationship listening Be mindful

Total listening: more than words, also silence & meaning buried

Suspend judgment Strive to understand the other’s perspective

Minimal encouragers: “Really?” “Go on!” Paraphrasing: “It sounds as if..” “You seem to..” Asking questions

Express support See Father-Son conversation on page 170 ( 結尾的對話 )

Ch 8: Focus Questions

What is the self? How does communication influence personal

identity? How can you resist destructive patterns in

communication with yourself? What are values and risks of self-disclosing

communication? How can you foster your personal growth?

自我 Self : 網路書店搜尋結果 博客來網路書店

搜尋結果：前10本書 Amazon

搜尋結果：前10本書

Communication & Personal Identity

“Self” is a process. Continuously evolves and changes.

The self consists of perspectives: Views about ourselves, about others, and about social life that changes over time as we inte

ract with others.

自我發展量表 ( 民 80 ：江南發 )

The self arises in communication with others Self is not innate but is acquired (Mead, 1934). Self-fulfilling prophesy: expectations, judgment of ourselves

(internalized labels) Particular others: parents, siblings, peers

Reflected appraisals: a process of seeing ourselves through the eyes of others

(Significant others) Generalized others: collection of rules, roles, attitudes

Communicated by people we interact with, By media, By institutions: Judicial system, marriage, education system

Communication with family members Direct definition: Explicitly told Identity scripts: Rules of living and identity of a family Attachment styles: Patterns of parenting; how to

approach relationship (next slide) Secure attachment: Consistent, attentive; self-worth Fearful attachment: Rejecting, abusive; unworthy of

love Dismissive attachment: Rejecting, abusive; dismissing

others as unworthy Anxious/ambivalent attachment: Inconsistent

parenting; assuming others right / self unworthy of love

Attachment Styles

Secure

Dismissive Fearful

Anxious/Ambivalent

Positive Negative

Positive

Negative

Views of self

Views of

others

Consistent, Consistent, attentive; attentive; self-worthself-worth

Rejecting, Rejecting, abusive; abusive; unworthy of unworthy of lovelove

Inconsistent parenting; Inconsistent parenting; assuming others right / assuming others right / self unworthy of loveself unworthy of love

Rejecting, Rejecting, abusive; abusive; dismissing dismissing others as others as unworthyunworthy

Communication with Peers

Playmates, classmates, friends, partners… Reflected appraisals Social comparisons

Judgment about talents, qualities, abilities…

Self-disclosure Revelation of personal information about ourselves Hopes, fears, experiences, perceptions… The Johari Window: four types of information (knowledge)

about us (p. 214)

The Johari Window

Open Area

Hidden Area Unknown Area

Blind Area

Known to self Unknown to self

Known to others

Unknown to others

Communication with society

Four aspects of identity Race Gender Sexual orientation Socioeconomic level

Other social values Intelligence, weight (slimness), height…

Challenges in Communicating with Ourselves

Reflecting critically on social perspectives Ethical obligation to promote positive social values and a fair social

world Individual & collective efforts to revise social meaning

Seeking personal growth as a communicator Set realistic goals Assess yourself fairly (reasonable social comparison) Self disclose appropriately: safe, gradual, reciprocal Creative a supportive climate for change

Uppers: who communicates positively about us Downers: who communicates negatively about us Vultures: an extreme form of downers; who attacks our self-concepts