{ when children come back home reunification issues on hispanic immigrant families maria tatzmann,...

{When children come back home

REUNIFICATION ISSUES ON HISPANIC IMMIGRANT FAMILIES

Maria Tatzmann, MSW, LICSW, IECMHS

www.mariamarinoassociates.com© Maria Marino Associates, LLC

2012

In the 2010 Census, the Latino population in Minnesota was 250,260, or 4.7% of the total population.

This is a 74.5% increase in the past 10 years According to the U.S. Census

1990 -------54,000 Latinos in MN 2000 ------144,000

2010 ------250,260

147,240 are between 5 and 17 years old

FACTS

© Maria Marino Associates, LLC 2012

• The Pew Hispanic Research estimates the total undocumented population in Minnesota is between 55,000 and 95,000.

• It is estimated that there are 17,000 undocumented children in K-12.

• 80% of all Latino immigrant children have been separated from their parents because of immigration ( I. Ornelas and K.Perreira)

Latino Children in MN

Attachment is a mutual relationship from birth.

In an attachment relationshipinformation about reality is transmitted for the

first time

MotherChild

Vision

Hearing

Touch

Speech

Smell

And then back again© Maria Marino Associates, LLC 2012

More important, mothers teach infants to identify feeling

Mother Child

Babies begin life with only two feelings -Satiated and Aroused

Through attachment relation baby learns

“ I am happy or sad, hungry or mad,scared or hurt.From the

attachment figure babies learn: “ Food is coming, “I am going to be fed” or “ I have to scream long and loud before food comes”

A grandparent who has lived with the family all along.

A grandparent who did not live with the family but lives close by so the children can live in the same neighborhood.

A relative who has known the child for a number of years.

But sometimes those options are not available and the child is left with friends or neighbors.

Common arrangements for the child/children include:

Separation from the caretaker, generally the mother, is always a traumatic experience for

the child.

For most children, being separated from their mother, father or both, is the onset ofdepression.

Depending on the age of the child they will present diverse symptoms.

Depending on who is caring for the child will also result in differences in intensity and duration

Effects on Children

Possible outcomes of disturbed attachment Attachment issues

Uncertainty, lack of predictability• Boundaries issues• Lack of trust, suspiciousness• Difficult understanding others emotional

states• Difficulty enlisting caregivers to assist

them• Biological Issues

• Sensory motor difficulties• Hypersensitivity to physical contact• Coordination issues • Somatization• Difficulties identifying and

communicating feelings, wishes and desires.

Behavioral Control

Poor modulation of impulses

Self destructive behavior

Aggression against others

Pathological self-soothing behaviors

Sleep Disturbances

Eating Disorders

Substance Abuse

Excessive Compliance

Oppositional Behavior

Difficulty Understanding and complying with rules

Reenactment of events related to the out of home placement ( sexual, aggressive, etc.)

Affect RegulationDifficulty with emotional self regulationDifficulty identifying feelingsDifficulty describing feelings and internal experiences

DissociationAlterations in states of consciousnessAmnesia, impaired memory of passed eventsDepersonalization.

Self-ConceptLack of predictable sense of selfDisturbances I body imagePoor sense of separatenessLow self esteemShame and guilt

Cognition Issues

Lack of sustained curiosity Problems processing new information Problems focusing on and completing tasks Problems with object constancy Difficulty planning and anticipating Difficulty understanding self responsibility Learning difficulties Delays in Language development Difficulties in attention regulation and

executive functioning

The parent in the United States, particularly mothers often become depressed.

Children are coached to pretend everything is going fine back home so to not increase their mother’s sadness. Pictures of smiling children are sent to assure Mom that all is OK. Generally, this simply increases the sadness of being away,

Financial Issues:

Parents wages

Money sent home

“Cost of a “coyote

Border Crossing:

Assault and rape incidents

Mode of transportation

Desert walk

Requirements for a Latino child to be able to come home


From October 2011 to July 2012 authorities detained 21,842 unaccompanied minors.

This year alone 11,000 unaccompanied minors have been placed in deportation proceedings,. Some as young as 4 years old.

In Immigration Courts you do not have a right to an attorney so none is provided, unless you pay for your own.

(New York Times Aug.26, 2012)


Immigration issues:

Children that :• Have no money• Do not speak English• Do not understand why they are in Court

Must represent themselves in immigration Court proceedings. If an accompanied minor is detained by ICE (Immigration and

Customs Enforcement Agency) there are no adequate juvenile detention facilities so they have opened shelters in gyms, Lackland Air Force Base, etc.

There are a number of agencies like the Women’s Refugee Commission, Kids in Need of Defense (KIND), ProBar (Pro Bono Asylum Representation Project)


• The threat of violence where they are living.

• The children being mistreated, neglected or abused.

• Death of the caretaker.

• Hoping to have the family unified again.

• Concerns for their safety of children approaching puberty.

• Increased maternal depression.

Parents who decide to bring their children to the US face:


Once the decision is made that the child will come to the States, for some children, who have bonded with the caretaker, the act to reunify with his/her parents, is another disrupted attachment experience.

Another disrupted attachment

• For some caretakers, the money sent from the US is what saves them of abject poverty.

• Some caretakers truly love the child/children and are concern for their safety.

• Some caretakers, fearing retributions, do not want the parents to know the conditions of their child’s life while separated.


The child’s mixed emotion response to the reunification

• Fear of the unknown

• Fear of the journey

• Fear of leaving all that is familiar, family and friends.

• Fear of reuniting with parents they might not remember at all.


The parent’s mixed emotions

• Fear for safety of the child

• Fear for the responsibility of another mouth to feed.

• If the parent has other children born in the United States, how will they adjust to the new siblings.

• If her partner is not the father of the child, how will he accept the newcomer.


• The land where streets are paved with gold.

• Life with my own room.

• McDonald's everyday, going to malls every Saturday, personal cell phone, his/her own computer, a personal car, lots of money.

• My Mom/Dad will love me and make all past problems go away.

Expectations of the child


• To have my baby with me.

• To make up for lost time.

• To send her/him to school so he/she can be somebody.

• To be one new happy family.

• If the child is of age maybe he/she can get a job and help the family.

Expectations of the parent


Upon reunification children often feel:

ScaredAnxiousHurtHelplessHurt


Will I fit in?

Does my mother still loves me?

How will I deal with her new husband and her new kids.

What if I don’t know English?

Will I have friends?


• They want to make up for lost time.

• They want to establish family relations 10/15 years in the past.

• There are no relatives to support the family.

• They have developed a family routine that does not include the new child.

• Economic issues - Kids cost money

• Parent remembers the small child.

Upon reunification – parent issues:


Once the “honeymoon” is over conflicts can begin to appear

Conflicts among siblings.Mom’s unable to parent this new child.


Disagreement between mom and daughter about “everything”

So what?That was long time ago, in

another country etc… and your mother did not abandoned you

for ten years.

When I was your age………I did not wear make up, short dresses, go out at

night, talk back, etc. ………..


Get up.!!!!!!!

When I was your age…..

Do not talk back . My father would show me what he could do to me with his knuckles if I dare look at him wrong.

What???Oh Dad chill !!!

Whatever!!!


Coming to America does not always turns out like Mom and Dad thought


• My grandma is all alone now.

• I will never see my friends again.

• I miss the food, the neighborhood.

Unresolved grief issues


School also is tough

Loneliness!

Not being part of the any crowd

Feeling humiliated for not knowing

English.


School most often is the first call to action

Your child has not been in school or turn in homework in

the last five weeks!


How can you do this to me.I work so hard for you?

I don’t care about school!

Mom, I am trying.


I don’t know what to do about this kid. I’ve tried everything!

This kid is driving me crazy. I have a job, I have a husband, I have other kids and most of my time goes to dealing with him/her!


Parents are often leery:

• Unpleasant experiences with other service providers leave them mistrusting all providers.

• Fear of being turn in to immigration.

• Little understanding of mental health.

• Often in their family of origin discipline was equal to violence.

• It is all the child’s problem, he just need to get “straighten out”.

• Lack of insurance and/or means to pay for therapy.

• Very limited English proficiency.

That is when they arrive at your doorstep


• They fear you will side with the parents, who tend to blame all the difficulties on the child.

• They fear the will be returned to Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala, Ecuador etc.

• Fear of loss of parents love.

• Fear of not being able to do well in this country.

• Having to deal with overt racism for the first time in their life.

• Feeling unwanted in Mom’s new family.

• Limited English proficiency.

• Little understanding of mental health.

• “I am not crazy, my Mom is”.

Children are also leery of therapy:


Salient issues of attachment in treatment of reunified families

• The presence of depression, anxiety and exposure to violence in mother or child impact the quality of family relation.

• The emotional cost of immigration, lack of documentation, cultural and linguistic isolation and cultural dissonance also have impact.

• Personal experiences of trauma have an enormous impact on the quality of the parent -child relation.


Though, therefore the family is your client, you must consider each individual need to form a therapeutic relation with you.

You need to balance the family needs with the needs of each member who may have serious issues of their own that have profound effect on his /her role as a parent of a child in this family.

Joint and individual sessions will be necessary.

‘’I do not keep secrets but I am not a blabbermouth”.

The family in need of family therapy


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