How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen

So Kids Will TalkKelsi Martinez, MS, CIMT, CCLS & Jennifer Grubbs, BSN, RN, CPN

Objectives

• Why is it important?• How to Engage children• Checkpoints to determine whose needs are being met• Limit Setting

Grant

Audience Poll

How comfortable and confident do you feel when you’re talking

with a child?

Moving From “Me-Centered” to “Child Centered” • Non-directive • Facilitate development of self-awareness and self-

direction for the child• Provides sense of freedom and safety

Reasons to Use Non-Directive Communication with Children• Respectful• Preserves the child’s dignity • Builds trust• Establishes rapport quickly • Helps children deal with feelings

Gloria

Gloria

Denial of Feelings

• Steady denial of feelings can confuse and frustrate children. • This frustration can cause a child to become either

angry or withdrawn.

Examples of Denying Feelings

• “You’re making a big fuss over nothing”• “You are being ridiculous!”• “Your sister never complains about being in a car seat”• “You’re acting like a baby” • “Well, you’d better get used to it because you’re gonna

have to be in this car seat every time you want me to take you anywhere.”

Brian

Acknowledging Feelings

• Puts child in touch with his/her inner reality. • Leads to an ability to gather the strength to begin

to cope.• Builds trust.• Sets all involved up for success.

Audience Poll

How comfortable and confident do you feel when you are

playing with a child?

Engaging in Respectful Conversation• Starting statements to avoid:• “Would you like to play with your truck or cars?• Those dolls over there could sure use some attention

today.”• “Why don’t you color in your coloring book?”• “Look what you can do over here.”

Eden

The Message

• I am here• I understand• I care

Tracking Statements

• “You are putting that one with the other one.” • “I see you have decided to fix that.” • “It looks like you are taking good care of that one.”• “You know exactly what you want to do with that.”

Tracking Statements to Avoid

• “I see you are making breakfast.” • “Oh there goes the airplane!”• “It looks like you are building a house.” • “Uh oh, the cars are crashing together and

someone may get hurt.”

Audience Poll

How comfortable and confident do you feel when you are setting limits for a child?

Limit Setting

• Limit setting follows three specific steps in the following order:

• Acknowledge the child’s feelings

• Communicate the limit

• Target an alternative

Ryder

Describe

Give information

Say it with a word

Talk about your feelings

Write a note

Describe

Give Information

Say It With A Word

Talk About Your Feelings

Write A Note

Audience Poll

How comfortable and confident do you think you’ll feel the next time you interact with a child?

Questions?Comments?