7 habits of highly effective teens. habit #1: be proactive proactive people: are not easily...

7 Habits of Highly

Effective

TEENS

Habit #1: Be Proactive

• Proactive people:• are not easily offended.• take responsibility for their choices.• think before they act.• bounce back when something bad happens

to them.• always find a way to make it happen.• focus on things they can do something about,

and don’t worry about things they can’t.


• On a computer, create a collage with a picture of yourself in the middle.

• Put yourself in a situation you see yourself in 10 years. Where are you? Who is around you?

• In the background, include all the things that you hope to achieve within 10 years.

• Below the picture, list five (5) positive attributes you possess as a proactive person.


• Turn Setbacks into Triumphs• Describe how you would turn a setback

into a triumph for each of the following scenarios:

• You and your best friend scope out others in the lunchroom every day. You point out to your friend a person that you would like to get to know better. The next day your friend tells you that he or she called and asked that person out last night.


• Turn Setbacks into Triumphs• Describe how you would turn a setback

into a triumph for each of the following scenarios:

• The prom is next week. You and your friends are planning on going with a large group in limo and hanging out all night. You’ve been looking forward to it all year. The day before the prom, you fall and break your leg and have a full-leg cast.


• Turn Setbacks into Triumphs• Describe how you would turn a setback into

a triumph for each of the following scenarios:

• You are working a job after school to make the monthly payments, insurance, and gas for a car. For six months, you’ve been saving up for a car stereo. On your way home from work one night you are daydreaming and you get pulled over by the police. The speeding ticket is the same amount as you’ve saved for the stereo.


• Turn Setbacks into Triumphs• A setback I experienced or am currently

experiencing is:• I could have turned or can turn that

setback into a triumph by:


• Become a Change Agent• One habit that has been passed down

to me that I would like to change or improve is:

• The history of that bad habit is: (Describe where it came from and how it has affected your family’s life.)

• This bad habit has affected my life in these ways:


• Become a Change Agent• By changing that bad habit, my life will

be different in these ways:• To change that bad habit, I can do the

following every day: (Describe your actions.)

Habit #2: Begin with the End in Mind

• Crossroads of Life: Schoolwork• Drop out or stay in school? Do as little

work as possible and just get by? Begin scholarship applications today or put them off? Decide on a college or have someone decide for you?


• Crossroads of Life: Sex• Have sex or abstain? Cave in to

pressure from your boyfriend or girlfriend? Not have sex at all, but talk as if you do?


• Crossroads of Life: Drugs and Alcohol• Take drugs and alcohol or not?

Experiment or not? Cave in to peer pressure or not? Drink and drive or be the designated driver? Not do drugs but talk as if you do? Smoke or not? Assist others in taking drugs or buying alcohol?


• Crossroads of Life: Friends• Do your friends share your morals?

Will you go to school with your friends? Will your friends support your decision to leave home or will they encourage you to stay here?

Habit #3: Put First Things First

• How Do You Spend Your Time?• (Never = 1, Sometimes=3, Always = 5)

1. How often during your typical day do you fix problems?

2. How often during your typical day do you work to improve your study skills?

3. How often during your typical day do drop what you’re doing to hang out with friends who call or stop by?

4. How often during your typical day do you watch TV, play video games, or surf the Web?


• How Do You Spend Your Time?• (Never = 1, Sometimes = 3, Always = 5)

5. How often during your typical day do you deal with emergencies?

6. How often during your typical day do you spend time with your siblings or other family members?

7. How often during your typical day do you do things other people want you to do?

8. How often during your typical day do you hang out and chat?

Score %

10 45

9 40

8 35

7 30

6 25

5 20

4 15

3 10

2 5

QUESTIONS SCORE

Question 1 and 5 (Quadrant 1)





• Quadrant 1: Procrastinator

(Urgent and Important)• Do you grab fast food or skip meals

because you don’t have time?• Do you cram for tests the night before?• Do you write essays the night before

they are due?• Are you the type of person who is not

good at planning or organizing?• Do you have trouble getting motivated

without pressure?


• Quadrant 1: Procrastinator• Do you frequently become preoccupied

with one thing while you are doing something else?

• Do you feel frustrated by the slowness of people and things around you?

• Do you hate to wait or stand in line?• Do you seem to rush between places

and events?


• Quadrant 1: Procrastinator• Do you rarely have time for yourself?• Do you frequently wish you had

thought about things and acted sooner?

• Do you miss friends’ and family birthdays?

• Do you frequently miss or are late for assignments or appointments?


• Quadrant 3: The Yes-Man

(Urgent and Not Important)• Typically try to please others and have a

hard time saying “No”• These people lack self-discipline.


• Quadrant 3: The Yes-Man• To fill your precious time with

worthwhile activities, you need to identify your most important priorities.

• List two of your highest priorities on the left side, then on the right side, list the activities you will turn down to fulfill that priority.


• Quadrant 4: The Slacker

(Not Urgent and Not Important)• Too much TV, too much sleep.• Endless phone calls• Excessive computer games• Mall marathons• Time wasters


• Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer

(Not Urgent and Important)• You want to spend your time in this zone.• Planning, goal-setting• Essay due in a week• Exercise• Relationships• Relaxation

Habit #4: Think Win-Win• Win-Lose: Totem Pole

• Use people, emotionally or physically for their selfish purposes.

• Try to get ahead at the expense of others• Spread rumours about others.• Concentrate on getting their own way

without considering others’ feelings.• Become jealous and envious when

something good happens to someone else.• Describe a situation when you had a

Win-Lose attitude.

Habit #4: Think Win-Win• Lose-Win: The Doormat

• Set low expectations for themselves.• Have low self-esteem and never consider

themselves worthy or good enough.• Compromise their standards over and

over again.• Give in to peer pressure.• Allow themselves to be walked on with

the excuse of being the “peacemaker”• Describe a situation when you had a

Lose-Win attitude.

Habit #4: Think Win-Win

• Lose-Lose: Downward Spiral• Seek revenge• Desire to win at all costs.• Obsessed with others in a negative way• Have co-dependent and emotionally

damaging relationships.• Describe a situation when you had a

Lose-Lose attitude.

Habit #4: Think Win-Win• Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet

• Help others succeed.• Happy when others succeed.• Think “abundance”• Willing to share the recognition with

others• See life as an all-you-can-eat buffet for

everybody.• Describe a situation when you had a

Win-Win attitude.

Habit #4: Think Win-Win

• Win-Win: The All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet• It is hardest for me to think Win-Win

when...• It is easiest for me to think Win-Win

when…• Five ways that I can apply Win-Win

thinking in my relationships…

Habit #5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be

Understood

• You Have Two Ears and One Mouth!• Two or three things I wish my parents

understood about me are…• Two or three things I wish my siblings

understood about me are…• Two or three things I wish my friends

understood about me are…• Two or three things I wish my teachers

understood about me are…


Understood

• The Deepest Need of the Human Heart!• Someone I know who is struggling with a

problem is…• How can I make him or her feel

comfortable, accepted, and understood around me?


Understood

Poor Listening Skills: Spacing Out• Someone is talking to you, but you ignore

him or her because your mind is elsewhere.

• I find myself doing this to someone often. True or false?

• If true, when? And who is that person?


Understood

Poor Listening Skills: Pretend Listening• You’re not paying attention to the person

talking, but you pretend you are.• When you think the person wants a

response, you say, “Uh-huh, yeah, hmmm”




Understood

Poor Listening Skills: Selective Listening• You pay attention only to the part of the

conversation that interests you or relates to you. You focus on specific words and then go off on your own conversation rather than listening to what the other person is trying to tell you.




Understood

Poor Listening Skills: Word Listening• You pay attention to the words, but you

miss the point because you’re ignoring the tone, feelings, and body language. When you focus on words only, you miss the deeper emotions in someone’s heart.




Understood

Poor Listening Skills: Self-Centered Listening

• You apply everything you hear to your own point of view. This is where some people play the one-upmanship game: “If you think your day was bad, wait until I tell you about my day.”




Understood

Genuine Listening: Listen with Your Eyes, Heart and Ears

• If you want to understand what people are really saying, you need to listen with your eyes, your heart, and your ears.

• Don’t just pay attention to the words they are saying, watch their body language, hear their tone, and sense how they are feeling.


Understood

Genuine Listening: Stand in Their Shoes• If you want to understand someone, try

looking at things from his or her perspective.

• Be willing to stand in someone else’s shoes to see things from a different point of view.

Habit #6: Synergize

Celebrate Diversity• When you celebrate diversity—not just

tolerate differences—you co-operate with others to achieve your goal.

• How do you celebrate differences in:RaceGenderReligionAgeBody TypeAbilities/Disabilities

Habit #6: Synergize

Respect Differing Viewpoints• Once you understand that everyone

views the world differently and that everyone can be right, you have more respect for differing viewpoints.

• What is your dominant character trait?• What is your strongest natural ability?

Habit #6: Synergize

Avoid Roadblocks to Celebrating Differences

• IgnoranceNot knowing how other people think, what they

believe, or how they feel.

• CliquesWanting to be with those you’re comfortable with,

becomes exclusive and rejects others.

• PrejudiceNot treating people fairly, which includes stereotyping,

labeling, or prejudging others because they differ from your own circumstances.

Habit #6: Synergize

Getting to Diversity• DEFINE the problem or opportunity• THEIR WAY (Seek first to understand.)• MY WAY (Seek to be understood.)• BRAINSTORM (Create new options and

ideas.)• HIGH WAY (Find the best solutions.)

Habit #6: SynergizeTeamwork and Synergy

• Who can you count on:to help you with homework?for a good meal that lifts your day?to answer your questions about life?to help plan an activity or party?to know your deepest thoughts?to keep a secret?to come up with the best music for a dance?to help you clean the yard or house?to shop with you and give you good ideas?to help you plan your education?to always love you and build you up?

Habit #7: Sharpen the Saw

Balance is Better• Keep your personal self sharp so you can

better deal with life. To perform at your peak, you need to pay attention to all four dimensions: Body, Brain, Heart, and Soul

How do you renew your body?How do you renew your brain?How do you renew your heart?How do you renew your soul?


Take Time for a Time-Out• Just like a car, you need regular tune-ups

to run at your best. You need time to rejuvenate and rest. You need time to relax. Treat yourself to a little pampering.

• List ten (10) things that you can do to take a time-out.


Care for Your Body• Your body—that ever-changing, hormonal

machine– is a tool, and if you take good care of it, it will serve you well.

• Access you physical wellness:Do you exercise 20-30 minutes at least three times a

week?Do you include cardiovascular and flexibility activities

in my exercises?Do you get the right amount of sleep?Do you eat healthy foods?Do you eat fast food more than twice a week?Do you deal with stress effectively?


Care for Your Brain• Taking care of your brain means

developing your thinking through schooling, extracurriculuar activities, hobbies, jobs, and other mind-enlarging experiences.

• How do you keep your mind sharp?• What did you learn this week that you

didn’t know before?• What was the last book you read for

pleasure?


Care for Your Heart• The best way to nourish your heart is to

nourish relationships—both with yourself and with others.

Are you reliable and dependable?Do you have a hopeful outlook on life?Are you trusting and supportive of people close to

you?Do you listen to others and hear what they have to say

rather than thinking of what you want to say?Do you reach out to others?


Care for Your Heart• The best way to nourish your heart is to

nourish relationships—both with yourself and with others.

Do you maintain your most important relationships?Do you sincerely apologize when you need to?Do you push through the “hard times”?Are you aware of what it means to take good care of

yourself?Can you control your impulses? Do you cool down

rather than react to people and situations?


Care for Your Soul• Your soul is the source for purpose,

meaning, and inner peace. Check off the items that describe you

Have you defined your values and do you plan to live your life according to them?

Do you rely on your Personal Mission Statement to give vision to your purpose in life?

Do you renew yourself each day through meditation, prayer, study, or reflection.

Do you frequently spend time in a place—nature, chapel, or church—where you can spiritually renew yourself?


Care for Your Soul• Your soul is the source for purpose,

meaning, and inner peace. Check off the items that describe you

Do you live with integrity and honour?Do you keep your heart open to the truth?Do you take a stand or tell the truth, even when

opposed by others?Do you frequently serve others with no expectations of

a returned favour?Can you identify the things that you can change and

the things that you cannot change?

Keep Hope Alive!

7 habits of highly effective teens. habit #1: be proactive proactive people: are not easily...

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