being an emotionally intelligent leader...being an emotionally intelligent leader employee...

Being an Emotionally Intelligent

Leader

Employee Management Conference

November 2011

The Challenge . . .

―We are being judged by a

NEW YARDSTICK; not just

how smart we are, or by our

training and expertise, but

also how well we handle

ourselves and each other.‖

Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services

Emotions – The “NEW” Yardstick

We have been conditioned to keep emotions out of the work place. High IQ has been the standard.

However, study after study has demonstrated that high IQ doesn’t necessarily predict future success.

In fact, low Emotional Intelligence can shut down the IQ abilities you may have.

Why Should Leaders Develop EI?

Research has found…

20-25% of success can come from IQ

20-25% of success can come from competency/skill

development

50-60% of success can come from EI

In fact…

IQ is inadequate in predicting success in the real world; EI gives you an edge

What will distinguish an organization is its ability to use its people to attract and retain workers, to promote creativity and build client relationships.

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy

• Effective Relationships

Relating to Ourselves

Relating to Others

The Competencies of Emotional Intelligence

“The greatest of faults is to be conscious of

none.”

Thomas Carlyle

Self-Awareness

Our ability to accurately recognize our emotions as they happen and understand how we respond to different people and situations.

What trips your trigger?

Self-Awareness

Try to discover why you react the way you do:

• Tune in to your emotions, self beliefs and self-talk.

• Understand your responses, why positive or negative.

• Why do you tend to react this way?

• Visualize yourself…what would you like to do differently?

Self-Regulation

Our response to our self-awareness. It is both restraining oneself and activating oneself.

Emotional Hijacking

Do Your Emotions Manage You…

OR

Do You Manage Your Emotions?

Self-Regulation

Take the reins and quit letting your emotions

lead you around!

• Listen—always let others finish speaking

• Step back/reframe—envision a different response

• Positive ―mindset‖

(Be cautious of negative ―self talk‖)

• Strive to act intentionally rather than reactively.

• Anger—don’t deny it; reframe it; impose time out

Self-Motivation

Our ability to take responsibility for ourselves, and manage or overcome our weaknesses or setbacks.

Self-Motivation

• Recognize that emotions affect your performance

• When a setback strikes, resist asking ―What’s wrong with

me?‖ Instead, ask ―What can I fix?‖

• Focus on what you do well and do more of it

• Pretend like you have lots of self-confidence

• Seek out opportunities

• Break down a larger goal into steps

Assessment

Complete the first 2 sections only

Self-Awareness

Self-Management

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy

• Effective Relationships

Relating to Ourselves

Relating to Others

Empathy

Recognizing and responding appropriately to the actions, needs and emotions of others.

Empathy

Empathy Traits – One-on-one

• Attention - only on the person.

• Say nothing and let the person talk.

• Let the person know you are listening – nod, ―uh-huh.‖ Summarize or paraphrase.

• Describe what person is feeling – ―You are pretty upset about the change.‖

• Ask open-ended questions to enhance your understanding.

• Help person sort out what to do – ―What do you think you should do now?‖

Effective Relationships

The ability to induce desirable results in others

including clear communication, conflict management, and bolstering peoples abilities

Effective Relationships

• Talk with your coworkers about their interests and

aspirations.

• Observe whom you think are inspirational or good

presenters and analyze why they seem to be effective.

• Try building consensus and support for team goals

• Work on conflict management skills

Assessment

Complete the last 2 sections

Awareness of Others

Relating to Others

• Self-Awareness

• Self-Regulation

• Self-Motivation

• Empathy

• Effective Relationships

Relating to Ourselves

Relating to Others

If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if

you don't have self-awareness, if you are not

able to manage your distressing emotions, if

you can't have empathy and have effective

relationships, then no matter how smart

you are, you are not going to get very far.

Thank you!

TODD MCDONALD ATW Training & Consulting

515-727-0731

todd@atwtraining.com