listening “seek first to understand… then to be understood.” (covey, 1997)
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Listening
“Seek first to understand…
Then to be understood.”(Covey, 1997)
Listening is not a communication action, it is a human action.
Understanding how to listen effectively
is an essential skill that benefits everything from family life to
business.
Introduction and Overview
What listening is not: Hearing vs. listening Faulty listening behaviors Reasons for poor listening
Introduction and Overview
What listening is: Stages of successful listening Personal listening styles Situational listening
What listening is not
Hearing vs. Listening: Hearing: “Sounds waves strike the
ear drum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain.”
Automatic and effortless Listening: “The brain gives the sounds
meaning.” Unnatural, requires effort
Faulty listening behaviors
1. Pseudo listening: imitation, or fake listening. Pretending to listen.
2. Selective listening: responding only to the parts of a speakers remarks that interest the receiver and rejecting everything else.
3. Defensive listening: taking innocent comments as personal attacks.
Faulty Listening, cont.
4. Ambushing: using listening skills to collect information to use for an attack on the speaker.
5. Insulated listening: avoiding a particular topic.
6. Insensitive listening: unable to look beyond words for other meanings.
Faulty listening, cont.
7. Stage Hogging: attempting to turn the conversation to oneself.
Reasons for Poor Listening
Effort: listening is hard; it is not natural
Message overload Rapid thought Psychological noise Physical noise Hearing problems Faulty assumptions
Reasons for Poor Listening, cont.
Cultural differences Media
What Listening is: Listening Defined
Listening: Occurs when the brain gives the sound transmitted meaning. Listening is not like breathing. It is
unnatural and requires effort.
What listening is: Stages of Successful Listening
1. Attending: paying attention to a signal
2. Understanding: making sense of a message
3. Responding: giving observable feedback to the speaker
4. Remembering1. Residual Message: what is remembered
Personal Listening Styles
Content-Oriented: interested in the quality of the message. This style is useful when looking at a wide range of perspectives and options.
People-oriented: concerned with creating and maintaining positive relationships
Personal Listening Styles, cont.
Action-Oriented: concerned with the task at hand. Useful when business needs to be attended to.
Time-oriented: most concerned with efficiency.
Situational Listening
Informational listening:Used when one wants to understand
another. The goal is to receive the same thoughts the other person is trying to convey.
Informational Listening, cont.
1. Listen first2. “Don’t kill the messenger”: separate
the message from the speaker3. Look for big ideas and main points4. Paraphrase: restate what the speaker
is saying in one’s own words5. Take notes
Critical Listening
Judging the quality of a message and deciding to accept or reject it.1. Listen for information first2. Evaluate the speakers credibility
- check the source3. Examine evidence and reasoning4. Remove emotion
Empathetic Listening
Stages of listening (Covey, 1997) Ignoring Pretend listening Selective listening Attentive listening Empathic listening: the first step in
beginning to understand someone
Empathetic Listening
The goal is to build a relationship or help solve a problem.
This style of listening has the most respect for the other’s point of view.
Empathetic Listening
Ways to practice empathetic listening:1. Advising: offering suggestions2. Judging: look for constructive judgments3. Analyzing: offers and interpretations of the speakers message
Empathic Listening, cont.
4. Questioning: helps sort out problems
5. Supporting6. Prompting: The goal is to help the
speaker draw conclusions for him/herself
7. Paraphrasing: rewording
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