making difficult conversations less difficult

How to make difficult work conversations less

difficult

Helping organisations bring out the best in their talent

Helping individuals make positive and rewarding career choices

www.pinpoint.ie

Prepared by John Deely BA MSc

Occupational Psychologist with Pinpoint.

ABOUT PINPOINT

Pinpoint – occupational psychologists and career management specialists

Key Services: Coaching talent in organisations especially new

managers and teams working under pressure Career direction and development for

individuals off their own bat or as part of a redundancy programme

Profiling – psychometric testing of talent

Firstly, Gain Perspective

The Biggest Barrier One of the biggest

barriers for having difficult conversations is anxiety caused by incorrect assumptions.

Inner speech (or self talk) plays a central role in human consciousness.

A key concept in the study of optimism, depression, healthy marriages.

Let go feelings & Provide Clarity

Avoid Avoidance “Can’t do it today, too

busy” “I’ll catch it at the

performance review” “Maybe someone else

will tell them” “Their work was good

today, so maybe it is ok” “I don’t want to upset

the apple cart” “I can’t believe they

could not be aware they are doing a bad job”

Questions to challenge yourself How will I be helping

them? Why am I delaying this? Will delaying telling

them about this problem make it go away?

Would I like to know how I was doing?

What am I assuming their reaction will be?

Give room to explore

Avoid or don’t rush into Advising, Giving Solutions “Why don’t you...” Ordering, Directing “You have to...” Preaching, Moralising “You’d better not...” Warning, Threatening “You ought to...” Evaluating, Blaming “You’re wrong...” Interpreting, Diagnosing “You need to...”

Delivering the message Be direct about the

current and desired state Own the message. Use “I” Get to the point, don’t

mix it in with other things.

Sensitive Let’s not pretend it will be

easy Practice this

communication Like a muscle, it will

develop.

Questions & Handouts