driving difficult conversations

DRIVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS Gaining Clarity Improving Communication Taking Action

Presented by: Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SPHR TPO Consultant / Training & Development Specialist [email protected]

©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com

mailto:[email protected]

Outcomes

– Better understand your difficult

conversations

– Say what needs saying in ways that improve communication

– Identify actions you can take to

resolve the circumstance, improve conversation and the relationship.


Ideas and Actions to:

Expectations

• What do you need to get from today’s presentation to feel you’ve spent the time well?

• How will you know

you have succeeded?


Difficult Conversations

• Crucial (Difficult) Conversation

– “A discussion between two or more people where (1) stakes are high, (2) opinions vary, and (3) emotions run strong” and the outcome greatly impacts their lives.

• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler 2002 Crucial Confrontation

• Dialogue

– “The free flow of meaning between two or more people” • Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Patterson,

Grenny, McMillan & Switzler 2002 Crucial Confrontation


The Three Conversations

• What Happened Conversation – Sort out the facts; circumstances; who did/meant what – Expected outcomes

• Feelings Conversation – Are my feelings valid? Appropriate? – Acknowledge other feelings

• Identity Conversation – What does the situation say about me? – What is my part in this situation?


Difficult Conversations – An Approach • Step 1 – Prepare

– Get the facts – Understand the emotions – Ground your identity

• Step 2 – Check Your Purposes & Decide – What do you hope to

accomplish? – Decide if this is the time,

approach, real problem. ©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com

Difficult Conversations – An Approach • Step 3 – The Third Story

– Difference of stories – Invite the other person to explore

& sort the issue

• Step 4 – Explore Both Sides – Listen for understanding – Share your viewpoint – Reframe


Difficult Conversations – An Approach

• Step 5 – Problem Solving – Invent options for the most

important concerns – Mutual care-taking – Keep communication open


Characteristics of Effective Conversations • Descriptive Rather than Judgmental

– Describe the circumstance – “Just the Facts” – Avoid “right/wrong”; “competent/incompetent”

• Specific Rather than General – If you want to be terrific, be specific – Help the other person identify “how/where’” to improve


Characteristics of Effective Conversations • Provide Timely and Private

Feedback – Today, not tomorrow – Would you like to get corrective

feedback in public?

• No Surprises – Stay in touch with folks during

the year – Planned and unplanned

feedback ©2016 TPO – The HR Experts All rights reserved. www.tpohr.com

Q & A


Please fill out your evaluation form For TPO’s Training Calendar, go to: www.tpohr.com

DRIVING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS


Presented by: Dennis Hungridge, M.A., SPHR TPO Consultant / Training & Development Specialist [email protected]

http://www.tpohr.com/

mailto:[email protected]

driving difficult conversations

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