managing conflict (constructively)

Managing Conflict(Constructively)

Dan ClarkDirector

Montana State University Local Government Center

May 2011

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Human Continuum

Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree

• Dogs are the best animal companions• Women are better drivers then men• U.S. gun laws are too strict• Drug pushers should be executed• Conflict is a natural condition of being alive

Consider, based on your experiences, how conflict can

function in negative ways?

. . . . positive ways?

How did conflict ultimately result in something good?

• Describe a conflict that turned out negatively

• Describe a conflict that turned out positively

Discuss the following

Conflict itself is normal. It is what we do during conflicts that makes it beneficial or harmful.

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Conflict is inevitable,But combat is optional

~ Max Lucado

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Adapted from materials developed by Dr. Steve Daniels, USU Extension

My favorite simple conflict definition:

Perceived goal interference among interdependent parties.

Why I like this definition so much…

• Understand the goal interference….• Understand the accuracy of perceptions….• Understand the nature of the

interdependence, and ….• You have gone a long way in

understanding the situation.

What happens when conflicts are not managed well?

• In a work group • To the individual

Sources of Conflict

Emotions

Process

Information

Substance

Values

Style

If Conflict keeps coming back…You are in the wrong circle!

Information: data, misinformation, not enough information, withholding information

Emotion: feelings, ego, self-esteem, interferes with reason and listening

Values: deeply rooted beliefs, religion, politics, ethics

Process (Relationships): who has authority, are we peers, how are decisions made

Style: communication style, group versus individual, directive vs. collaborative, in person vs. electronically, structure vs. fluidity

Substance: scarce resources, money, time, space, equipment

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Conflict Strategies

High

Low

Concern for Self

HighLow Concern for Other

Competition Collaboration

AccommodationAvoidance

Compromise

Conflict Strategies

• Avoider• Accommodator• Compromiser• Competitor• Collaborator

What’s Your Style?

• What are the problems with relying on one style?

• What is the right strategic approach to this problem?

• Intention versus by accident!

Managing Conflict

Explore the Problem(s) one at a

time* Ask open-ended questions* Use “I” messages* Restate* Enforce Rules

Find Solutions and Make Agreements

* Ask the other person for solutions* Give your solutions*Brainstorm* Pick the best alternative to implement

Define the Problem* Ask the other person what the problem is* Restate* Say what you think the problem is* Establish ground rules

CRU Institute 2005

Conflict as Opportunity• Good governance requires tension• Conflict leads to better decisions• Shift to a Learning Stance• Stop arguing about who is right• Stop blaming and judging• Separate the person from the problem• Explore each others stories• Move from certainty to curiosity

Effective Listening Exercise

• Pair up with someone• Shorter of the two speaks first• Talk for 2 minutes about any topic you

chose• Listener must listen – no questions, no

response• On my signal, switch

Our Default Conflict Management Styles

• Teapot - Passive aggressive. You take it until you explode. Pretty common

• Schemer - Back channel communication• Creampuff - Over accommodative• SNAEP - Sensitive New Age Extension

Professional

Develop a Personal “Roadmap” for Improvement

• We can all improve our conflict management behaviors.

• What each person needs is unique to them, and changes over time and setting.

Fundamental Techniques

1. Establish Ground Rules--negotiate procedures

2. Propose a “learning” perspective.--don’t jump to solution

3. Make trust overt.--earn it, don’t assume it

4. Share information--model interest disclosing

Thank you!

Questions?Comments?

Dan Clark, daniel.clark@montana.eduMSU Local Government Center406-994-6694www.msulocalgov.org