[you+me] finding intimacy in the mundane

thalith nasir

finding intimacy in the mundane

[You + Me]

advised by shaowen bardzell

Dates

Dates

Birthdays

Anniversaries

Conflict

Conflict

What about the rest of the time?

Honey, how was your day?

Uhhh…nothing happened.

We think of lifetimes as mostly the exceptional and sorrows. Marriage we remember as the children,vacations, and emergencies. The uncommon parts.

“Highlights and Interstices” by Jack Gilbert

We think of lifetimes as mostly the exceptional and sorrows. Marriage we remember as the children,vacations, and emergencies. The uncommon parts.But the best is often when nothing is happening.The way a mother picks up the child almost withoutnoticing and carries her across Waller Streetwhile talking with the other woman. What if shecould keep all of that? “Highlights and Interstices” by Jack Gilbert

We think of lifetimes as mostly the exceptional and sorrows. Marriage we remember as the children,vacations, and emergencies. The uncommon parts.But the best is often when nothing is happening.The way a mother picks up the child almost withoutnoticing and carries her across Waller Streetwhile talking with the other woman. What if shecould keep all of that? Our lives happen betweenthe memorable. I have lost two thousand habitualbreakfasts with Michiko. What I miss most abouther is that commonplace I can no longer remember.

“Highlights and Interstices” by Jack Gilbert

<the sine wave of life>

<the sine wave of life>

<the sine wave of life>

THE MUNDANEa tool for mediating intimacy

ELAINE AND PATRICK

WHY PHOTOGRAPHY?

JAMIE LIVINGSTONEPhoto of the Day

BUSTER BENSON8:36pm

WHAT IF?

A CONCEPT

A CONCEPT

A CONCEPT

A CONCEPT

AUTOETHNOGRAPHYmy experiences

“Weirdly, seeing your empty soup bowl was one of the more

intimatemoments of our relationship.” 

WHAT I LEARNEDmy experiences

WHAT I LEARNED

WHAT I LEARNED

3 prompts

WHAT I LEARNED

3 prompts

WHAT I LEARNED

2 prompts

THE EVALUATION

THE EVALUATION

5 couples

THE EVALUATION

THE EVALUATION

2 prompts

THE EVALUATION

2 weeks

THE EVALUATION

THE EVALUATION

72 images

THE EVALUATION

2 surveys

ANALYSISlets tie it in

Non-verbal communicationRegister, Henley 1992

Self Disclosure, Expressive actsVetere, Gibbs 2005

Reciprocity(Vetere, Gibbs 2005; Bardzell, et al 2010)

Self Disclosure, Expressive Vetere, Gibbs 2005

I really like that [he] used interesting pictures to make me happy and cheer me up after I told him that I was not having a great time. It's much more interesting and thoughtful than to just say "I'm sorry" or "Cheer up".

Emotional(Vetere, Gibbs 2005)

I only really got to see a computer and a conference table, but it was cool to have some sense of where she spends 20 hours a week.

Self-Disclosure(Vetere, Gibbs et al 2005)

Destiny & Surprise(Register, Henley 1992),

Destiny & Surprise(Register, Henley 1992),

When I began to take pictures without being prompted, I began noticing things in the world that

she would like and actually having the thought

"I can share this with [her]"

When I began to take pictures without being prompted, I began noticing things in the world that

she would like and actually having the thought

"I can share this with [her]"

Behavior Change

When I began to take pictures without being prompted, I began noticing things in the world that

she would like and actually having the thought

"I can share this with [her]"

Awareness

When I began to take pictures without being prompted, I began noticing things in the world that

she would like and actually having the thought

"I can share this with [her]"

Presence in Absence(Vetere, Gibbs et al 2005)

I'm always curious about whether people are the same personality

when they're with me as when I'm not there… I mean they could shed their skin and turn into a

lizard when you're not around.

Trust/CommitmentVetere, Gibbs 2005

I'm always curious about whether people are the same personality

when they're with me as when I'm not there… I mean they could shed

their skin and turn into a lizard when you're not around. I feel like I learned that his personality is very similar when I'm not there, which is

very comforting. I'm even more trusting of who he is and I feel even

more secure in our relationship.

Trust/CommitmentVetere, Gibbs 2005

I'm always curious about whether people are the same personality

when they're with me as when I'm not there… I mean they could shed

their skin and turn into a lizard when you're not around. I feel like I learned that his personality is very similar when I'm not there, which is

very comforting. I'm even more trusting of who he is and I feel even

more secure in our relationship.

Trust/CommitmentRegister, Henley 1992

Transformation

SUMMARY OF STUDIES

SUMMARY OF STUDIES

Self-disclosure

Expressive Acts

ReciprocityTrust

Emotional

Destiny & Surprise

Behavior Change

Awareness

KEY PRINCIPLESWhere do we go from here?

Randomness

Intimacy in the

Mundane

Reflection

An Audience

of One

Randomness

Intimacy in the

Mundane

Reflection

An Audience

of One

Randomness

Intimacy in the

Mundane

Reflection

An Audience

of One

Randomness

Intimacy in the

Mundane

Reflection

An Audience

of One

FUTURE DIRECTIONSWhere do we go from here?

A REQUEST

A REQUEST

thalith@gmail.com

THANK YOU

ShaowenRachelMartyErik,EliMoeCaseyMatt Obrakta

BinaebiEmilyJames“Natasha” “Zubair”,“Lilly” “Bill”

AbhiJaclynXuanBurrThe Design ClubHCI/d Cohort

IMAGE CREDITS

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bengoode/485365403/sizes/l/in/set-72157600201445020/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wa-j/2550472538/sizes/l/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mon_oeil/2262300204/sizes/o/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jay_que/2649304833/sizes/l/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/smilekerry/3224201623/sizes/l/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/markjsebastian/2347290530/sizes/l/http://www.flickr.com/photos/viriyincy/4141948052/sizes/l/http://www.flickr.com/photos/simonmiller/169060848/sizes/o/http://www.theyoungestcandidate.com/main/Portals/0/twitter_logo.png

QUESTIONS