Learning Objectives of this topic learn what assertiveness is. Understand the difference between

assertiveness and aggression. Know how to be assertive

Assertiveness Quiz1. Do you buy things you do not want because

you are afraid to say no to the salesperson?2. When you do not understand the meaning

of a word, do you ask about it?3. Do you feel responsible when things go

wrong, even if it is not your fault?4. Do you look directly at others when you talk

to them?

5. Do you often text or email someone about a conflict instead of talking to them face to face?

6. Do you feel intimidated by people in authority?

7. Do you generally have good posture?8. Do you often feel so angry you could scream?9. Do you know how to ask for help without

feeling dependent?10. If someone cuts in front of you in line, do

you usually tell them off?

Why learn to be more assertive?Helps you avoid:

Depression (helpless, hopeless)ResentmentFrustrationTemper/violenceAnxiety, which leads to avoidancePhysical issues (headaches, ulcers, high blood

pressure, etc.)Poor relationships

Assertiveness is…

Being direct and appropriately expressiveStanding up for yourself: stating your

opinions, feelings and thoughts without blaming the other person

Respectful: of others’ opinions, feelings and thoughts

Assertiveness is NOT…

A guaranteed way to win every argumentA guaranteed way to get what you wantA way to get others to feel like you feel or

think like you thinkTelling everybody everything all the time

Aggression is…Standing up for yourself but violating the

rights of someone else.Attacking the person instead of the problemLikely to establish a pattern of fear and

avoidance of the aggressor

Non-assertive/passive behavior is…Failing to stand up for yourselfAvoiding the problemLikely to establish a pattern of others taking

advantage of you

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE1. BE HONEST AND DIRECT ABOUT YOUR

FEELINGS, NEEDS, BELIEFS.2. EXPRESS YOURSELF FIRMLY AND

DIRECTLY TO SPECIFIC INDIVIDUALS.3. BE REASONABLE IN YOUR REQUESTS

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE4. STATE YOUR VIEWPOINT WITHOUT

BEING HESITANT OR APOLOGETIC.5. BE HONEST WHEN GIVING OR

RECEIVING FEEDBACK.6. LEARN TO SAY “NO” TO

UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS.7. PARAPHRASE WHAT OTHERS HAVE

STATED TO YOU.

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE8. REGOGNIZE AND RESPECT THE

RIGHTS OF THOSE AROUND YOU.9. USE APPROPRIATE TONE OF

VOICE.10.BE AWARE OF BODY

POSTURE/LANGUAGE11.MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.12.USE “I” STATEMENTS TO EXPRESS

SELF

HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE

13.DON’T LET OTHERS IMPOSE THEIR VALUES/IDEAS ON YOU

14.ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE CLEAR AND DIRECT

15.TAKE OWNERSHIP

Your Rights:You have the right to:

Express feelings in ways that do not violate the dignity of others

Change your mindMake mistakes (and take responsibility)Express positive feelings toward othersBe non-assertive in chosen situationsSay “no” without guiltBe angry when mistreatedGet what you pay for/not be cheatedMake your own decisions and live your life

as you choose