Assertiveness - Effectively

Communicating with Difficult Peers

Tutor Training Developed byNatasha Ford, Chelsea Shoben & Catherine Siew

University of Central Florida’sStudent Academic Resource Center

2013

Passive and Aggressive CommunicationPreliminary Reflection

Before you read through this PowerPoint, answer the first 6 questions on your PowerPoint

Worksheet.

What is it?

How would you define “Passive”?Passive communication is characterized by not

expressing honest feelings, thoughts or beliefs and allowing others to violate your rights.

What are some characteristics that you would identify with passive communication?

Review the characteristics on the next slide and add them to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.

Would you identify yourself as a passive communicator? What would that look like?

Passive Communication

Passive CommunicationCommon Characteristics

Passive Communication CharacteristicsNot expressing honest feelingsAllowing others to violate your rights

Non-Verbal BehaviorsSelf put-downHesitationAverting gaze when talkingCovering arms

Verbal CharacteristicsHesitant, filled with pausesApologize unnecessarily in a soft voiceFrequent justification e.g. “I would not normally say

anything but…”

Passive TutoringReflection & Drawbacks of this Communication Style

How would you describe a passive tutor?Passive tutoring may not look like a shy

person standing in front of others. Passive tutoring refers more to the chosen style of communication when approaching situations that come up while tutoring. The way you deal with a disruption or difficult student may be passive (“letting it go”).

Look on Page 2 of your worksheet. Read the scenario and answer questions 7 and 8.

What is it?

How would you define “Aggressive”?Aggressive communication is characterized by

standing up for your personal rights and expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is usually inappropriate and which violates the other person.

What are some characteristics that you would identify with an aggressive communication style? Review the characteristics on the next slide and add

them to the Venn diagram on your worksheet.

Would you identify yourself as an aggressive communicator? What would that look like?

Aggressive Communication

Aggressive CommunicationCharacteristics

Communication CharacteristicsStanding up for yourself in a way that violates others.

Non-Verbal BehaviorsCrossing armsGesturing or staring at specific peopleScowling when angryStriding around impatiently

Verbal CharacteristicsSarcastic, condescending toneFast, abrupt pacePut downs of others e.g. “Don’t be stupid”Threatening questions e.g. “Haven’t you finished yet?”

Aggressive TutoringReflection & Drawbacks

What are some scenarios when a tutor may resort to aggressive behavior?

When a tutor speaks aggressively towards a student in the group, how do you think this makes the rest of the group of tutees feel?

Read the second scenario on Page 2 of the worksheet. Answer Question 9.

The Question is…

In a tutoring environment, is it preferential to be passive or

aggressive? What about passive aggressive?

Passive

Assertive

Aggressive

Others Needs Your Needs

Assertive CommunicationFind a Happy Medium

Assertive CommunicationWhat does it look like?

Assertive Communication Characteristics:Steady even paceSincere and clear attitudeConstructive criticism without blameA willingness to explore other solutions

We should learn to be assertive in our communication so that we can be open and honest without violating the rights of others.

Why else is assertiveness important?

Assertive CommunicationKeys to Assertiveness

To many of us, assertiveness doesn’t come naturally.State the behavior observed

Do not judge or assume!How does it affect you and how does it

make you feel? Focus on the behavior rather than the person

Ask for what you wantPut it all together in an assertive statement

When you are late, then I have to wait, and I feel frustrated. Can I count on you to be on time tomorrow?

Assertive CommunicationWorksheet Activity

Using the Keys to Assertiveness on the previous slide, complete the activity on Page 3 by selecting two different difficult peer types.

Try using this activity to brainstorm for a real-life scenario since one of these will likely come up while you are tutoring. If you are prepared with an effective assertive statement like the one you have written down, hopefully the situation will not catch you off-guard.

Assertive CommunicationKeys to Assertiveness

Walking Small “Speedy” EpisodeClick on the link and watch the video

Assertive CommunicationKeys to Assertiveness - Handout

Note a few situations from the video that you recognize one of the characters not being assertive.

On the handout provided, rewrite the scenes so the character communicates assertively. (Try making an assertive statement as we learned on Slide 12!)