brockville 05 24

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ManpowerGroup SolutionsPermanent PlacementSkilled TradesAssessments

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5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

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Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist

Jon: 613 342 [email protected]

Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com

McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada!

www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Brockville and1000 Islands

[email protected], OnYour Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer

613-925-5560

Great Pricing & Deals!

Get Dad a New Boatfor Father’s Day!

VOL.

5

Issu

e 24

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓✓

Your business, your needs,

our help

Your business, your needs, our help

Doug PhillipsFinancial Security Advisor613-342-4401, ext. [email protected]

Gord Phillips, REBC, GBA, RHUFinancial Security Advisor613-342-4401, ext. [email protected]

Freedom 55 Financial and design are trademarks of London Life Insurance Company.

Manpower-InnovatIve workforce SolutIonS

My Dog grooMer pawla

leeDS county BookS

eaStern InDepenDent telecoM

golDen SoleS

a father and son went fishing one day. after a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied, “I don’t rightly know, son.” The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father,

“How do fish breath underwater?” once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” a little later the boy asked his father, “why is the sky blue?” again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.” worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my

asking you all of these questions?” “of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions ... you’ll never learn anything!”

Avid Golfer

Asking Advice

My husband, an avid golf player couldn’t help challenging my boastful son to a game of golf. He was in for quite a surprise when on the first swing my son got a hole in one. “ok” my quick-thinking husband said while subtlety winking at me “now, I will take my practice shot, and then we will start.”

Empowering Thoughts

Statistics

Hairytown

Prayer is not a ‘spare wheel’ that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a ‘steering wheel’ that directs the right path throughout. ~ Unknown

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them. ~ Sylvia Plath

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. ~ Jim Goodwin

Friendship is like a book. It takes years to write, but only a few seconds to burn. ~ Unknown

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself. So always think positively. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The Puzzle...The founders of Hairytown decreed years ago that:1. no two people can have the same number of hairs2. no one can have 999 hairs.3. no one can have more than, or the same number of hairs as, the population of the town The town has now reached its maximum population. can you figure out what the town population is?

Qui

ck

Joke example of a working class tradition; fathers

chasing kids around with their power tools.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. ~ evan esar

The Solution... There are 999 people in the town, from bald to 998 hairs.

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

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For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in re�nishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

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Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

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Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

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Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Your parents helped youcross the street safely, learn

to ride a bike and drive a car

248 Park St., W., Prescott613-925-3784

www.chartwellreit.ca

Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

613-345-1909

HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

BESTPRICEALWAYS

SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKS

Live Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shu�eboardBig Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays A

GE

OF

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Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke

Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919

Sam’s June & July Line-Up:

June 15 Little CaliforniaJune 22 Gypsy MoonJune 23 Gypsy Moon (3-7)June 29 Full Circle

July 6 The Journey MenJuly 7 Red Line (3-7)July 13 Blues HighwayJuly 20 Gypsy Moon

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Some friars were behind on the belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of god, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close down. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mactaggart, the roughest, toughest and most vicious thug in town, to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close shop. terrified, the friars did so -- thereby proving that....... Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Music Notes

Asking KidsYour True Colors

Very Punny

Parents To Graduates

Wise Words

I am going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I’m going to smile. ~ Anonymous

Silly

Q

uote life is so unlike theory.

~ unknown

Qui

ck

rid

dle what happened when the teacher tied

all the kids’ shoe laces together?

They had a class trip!

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. ~ paula poundstone

The Star-Spangled Banner became the uS national anthem in 1931. prior to that, it was My country ‘tis of Thee,” which had the same melody as Britain’s national anthem god Save the Queen, which is based on music writ-ten by John Bull in 1619. Bull’s melody has been used more than any song in national anthems.

The artist’s world is limitless. It can be found anywhere, far from where he lives or a few feet away. It is always on his doorstep. ~ paul Strand

It is more profitable to have understanding than winning the lottery.

Birth Order Makes A Difference

Clothing:

1st baby: you begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your oB/gyn confirms your pregnancy.2nd baby: you wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.3rd baby: your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

A Lesson In Hearta lesson in “heart” is my little, 10 year old daughter, Sarah, who was

born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time.She came home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed

in “field day” - that’s where they have lots of races and other competitive events. Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down.

But before I could get a word out, she said, “Daddy, I won two of the rac-es!” I couldn’t believe it! and then Sarah said, “I had an advantage.” ahh... I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start... some kind of physical advantage. But again, before I could say anything, she said, “Daddy, I didn’t get a head start... My advantage was I had to try harder!”

Marketing Gone Awry

an effort by the u.S. computer company to dem-onstrate its devotion to customers backfired when it tried to take its message across the pond in the 1970s. wang computer's motto, "wang cares," was immedi-ately laughed at by Brits for what it sounded like when spoken aloud: "wankers," a derogatory term in eng-land. not wanting to be associated with the slang, the company's u.k. retailers refused to use the slogan.

Question Answer

Funny SignsOn A Mother's Fridge

Q: why do bicycles fall over?

Because they are two-tired!

answer:

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear!

Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5299

Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service

Summer Special!Save 25% OFF

We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

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Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event

in McGu�y’s News!

+ HST00

Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)

Call Jon613-342-0428Today!

jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

Need anelectrifying ad?

Call Jon(613) 342-0428

Paling’s Family Fun Centre

18 Hole Mini Golf - Driving Range -Ticket Redemption Arcade Games

1850 County RD 2 East Brockville, ON

613-342-8467

DRIVING RANGE 2 Baskets / $9

Chipwagon Style Food

Coupon

Coupon

(Limit 2 coupons per group)

(Limit 2 coupons per group) Expires 06/24/12

Expires 06/24/12

18 HOLE MINIATURE GOLF 2 persons / $9

Bring This Ad In

Marveling At The Moon

CRO

SS

WO

RD

Descriptive

Look Back In TimeIn 1995 it was the first time in history a gas giant outside our solar system

was found. Scientists looked at the star pegasi-51 using giant telescopes on the ground and discovered the star wobbled, meaning it has planets. The question wether we’re alone in the universe has brought us one step closer. This planet is larger than jupiter has been found orbiting the star pegasi-51, a star that is 15 light years away from our sun. Scientists were stunned to discover that gas giants could orbit stars at such a close range (closer than mercury). They always thought that if they would find a gas giant it would be just as far away as ours. pictures were not able be taken of the planet itself, hopes were set on 2005. The star is of apparent magnitude and is visible from the earth with binoculars, or with the naked eye under dark sky conditions.

• warnIng: mental backup in progress. • was today really necessary?• watcH out! coMIng tHrougH!• we are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.• we are having ever so much fun!• we are the people our parents warned us about.• we have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”? • welcome to california. now go home! • welcome to reality...come again soon.

Bumper Snickers

It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas’ Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws

My DoctorLet me tell you about my doctor. He’s very good.If you tell him you want a second opinion, he’ll go out and come in again.One time he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six

months, the patient hadn’t paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, Doc-tor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.” The doctor said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

One patient came in and said, “Doctor, I have a serious memory prob-lem.” The doctor asked, “When did it start?” The man replied, “When did what start?”

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: “Don’t answer it.” When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, then he says, “I wish you had come to me sooner.”

He was deeply in love. when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a

garbage truck reversing.

•Astronautsarepeoplewhoserveonspacecraftand fly into outer space. In russia and the former Soviet union, they are also known as cosmo-nauts. as of 2010, 505 people worldwide have gone into space.

•Thepilotorcommanderofthespaceshuttlearerequired to fly 1,000 hours as a jet pilot before they can be selected as an astronaut, and a person has to be at least 58 inches tall to be selected for a space mission. However, astronauts can grow taller while in space, approximately up to two inches if they are there for a month. This is due the spine stretching due to lack of gravity.

•Itispossibleforastronautstospendalongtimein space. one of the most interesting astronaut facts is the longest time spent living in outer space was 2 years and 73 days over a period between 1991 and 1999.

Magician

across 1. ruse using cards6. Helper7. turn by winding9. vanish10. Sorcery14. Blooms16. closes with a key

17. cloth neckpiece18. without colorDown2. Magic words3. Bewilder4. Dove5. Saber8. performance

11. circlets12. type of magic13. Speedy15. performance platform

Celebrity Quotesall our dreams can come true...if we have the courage to pursue them.

~ walt Disney

Star Wars Funny

How does luke Skywalker get though the forest?

ewoks

Qui

ck

Quo

te How we spend our days is—of course—how we spend our lives ~ Unknown

two boll weevils grew up in South carolina. one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Interesting Facts

Very Punny

• turtles can breathe through their butts. • Butterflies taste with their feet. • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy

than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined. • on average, 100 people choke to death on ball-

point pens every year. • on average people fear spiders more than they do

death. • ninety percent of new york city cabbies are

recently arrived immigrants. • elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. • only one person in two billion will live to be 116

or older.

Christie Aluminum Products

Custom windows that are a perfect �t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!

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Excellent Service for over 14 Years!Dentures made on site = Time+Cost E�ectiveMaximum bene�ts from the most advanced denture technology

“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”

• Complete - partial dentures• Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners• Implant denturesNo Referrals Necessary!

Denture Specialist

Aqua Plus Pools

Adam FishOwner

“Your Bridge Over Troubled Water”

613-340-9556 613-213-1888Don’t Wait! Call Today!

Book Your Pool Opening with Aqua Plus Pools & save 25% O� on Pool Closing.

Have the Experts ProvideWeekly Pool Service @ A�ordable Prices!

Canadian Hearing SocietyFree home or o�ce visits• improve communication

• improve safety in your home• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

Please call us to �nd out more about our programs and servicesPhone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209

Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Itrix

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200

Fax 613 - 498 - 2205

• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary

ColemanOwner

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP Golden Soles

Gift CertificatesAvailable

Eastern Ontario's Largest Selec tion of Or thotic & Comfor t Footwear

46 King St East, Brockville, On613-342-7111 cell 613-340-6330

Put Your Info

HERE!

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DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT

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(613) 342-0428

Advertise Your Spa Specialties.

pick up Mcguffy’s news every week!!

at over 140 locations in Brockville/athensnorth augusta/lynMallorytown & rockport

A Fresh Perspective once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a

vacation. according to their nature, each was having a good time. Suddenly, a warning of an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island.

The announcement caused sudden panic. all rushed to their boats. even dam-aged boats were quickly repaired and commissioned for duty.

yet, love did not wish to flee quickly. There was so much to do. But as the clouds darkened, love realized it was time to leave. alas, there were no boats to spare. love looked around with hope.

Just then prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. love shouted, “prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?”

“no,” replied prosperity, “my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you.”

a little later vanity came by in a beautiful boat. again love shouted, “could you help me, vanity? I am stranded and need a lift. please take me with you.”

vanity responded haughtily, “no, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet.”

Sorrow passed by after some time. again, love asked for help. But it was to no avail. “no, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself.”

when Happiness passed by a few minutes later, love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.

love was growing restless and dejected. Just then somebody called out, “come love, I will take you with me.” love did not know who was being so

magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.

on getting off the boat, love met knowledge. puzzled, love inquired, “knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?”

knowledge smiled, “oh, that was time.”“and why would time stop to pick me and take me to safety?” love won-

dered.knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, “Because only time knows

your true greatness and what you are capable of. only love can bring peace and great happiness in this world.”

“The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love. when we feel important, we forget love. even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. only with time do we realize the importance of love. why wait that long? why not make love a part of your life today?”

author unknown

Funny Ads

1. we build bodies that last a lifetime. 2. This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes

and gardens. 3. for rent—six-room hated apartment. 4. Man, honest. will take anything. 5. wanted—chambermaid in rectory. love in, $200 a month. references

required. 6. wanted—part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop. 7. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. 8. used cars—why go elsewhere to be cheated? come here first!

The Following Are Real Ads ~ Classified And Otherwise

I Have Learned

Sudoku Solution crossword Solution

I’ve learned ... that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5299

Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service

Summer Special!Save 25% OFF

We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

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ou

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!

Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event

in McGu�y’s News!

+ HST00

Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)

Call Jon613-342-0428Today!


Need anelectrifying ad?

Call Jon(613) 342-0428

Paling’s Family Fun Centre

18 Hole Mini Golf - Driving Range -Ticket Redemption Arcade Games

1850 County RD 2 East Brockville, ON

613-342-8467

DRIVING RANGE 2 Baskets / $9

Chipwagon Style Food

Coupon

Coupon

(Limit 2 coupons per group)

(Limit 2 coupons per group) Expires 06/24/12

Expires 06/24/12

18 HOLE MINIATURE GOLF 2 persons / $9

Bring This Ad In

Marveling At The Moon

CRO

SS

WO

RD

Descriptive

Look Back In TimeIn 1995 it was the first time in history a gas giant outside our solar system

was found. Scientists looked at the star pegasi-51 using giant telescopes on the ground and discovered the star wobbled, meaning it has planets. The question wether we’re alone in the universe has brought us one step closer. This planet is larger than jupiter has been found orbiting the star pegasi-51, a star that is 15 light years away from our sun. Scientists were stunned to discover that gas giants could orbit stars at such a close range (closer than mercury). They always thought that if they would find a gas giant it would be just as far away as ours. pictures were not able be taken of the planet itself, hopes were set on 2005. The star is of apparent magnitude and is visible from the earth with binoculars, or with the naked eye under dark sky conditions.

• warnIng: mental backup in progress. • was today really necessary?• watcH out! coMIng tHrougH!• we are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.• we are having ever so much fun!• we are the people our parents warned us about.• we have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”? • welcome to california. now go home! • welcome to reality...come again soon.

Bumper Snickers

It is illegal to ride a mule down Lang, Kansas’ Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.

Bizarre Real Life Animal Laws

My DoctorLet me tell you about my doctor. He’s very good.If you tell him you want a second opinion, he’ll go out and come in again.One time he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six

months, the patient hadn’t paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months. While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said, Doc-tor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.” The doctor said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”

One patient came in and said, “Doctor, I have a serious memory prob-lem.” The doctor asked, “When did it start?” The man replied, “When did what start?”

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: “Don’t answer it.” When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.

You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment, then he says, “I wish you had come to me sooner.”

He was deeply in love. when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a

garbage truck reversing.

•Astronautsarepeoplewhoserveonspacecraftand fly into outer space. In russia and the former Soviet union, they are also known as cosmo-nauts. as of 2010, 505 people worldwide have gone into space.

•Thepilotorcommanderofthespaceshuttlearerequired to fly 1,000 hours as a jet pilot before they can be selected as an astronaut, and a person has to be at least 58 inches tall to be selected for a space mission. However, astronauts can grow taller while in space, approximately up to two inches if they are there for a month. This is due the spine stretching due to lack of gravity.

•Itispossibleforastronautstospendalongtimein space. one of the most interesting astronaut facts is the longest time spent living in outer space was 2 years and 73 days over a period between 1991 and 1999.

Magician

across 1. ruse using cards6. Helper7. turn by winding9. vanish10. Sorcery14. Blooms16. closes with a key

17. cloth neckpiece18. without colorDown2. Magic words3. Bewilder4. Dove5. Saber8. performance

11. circlets12. type of magic13. Speedy15. performance platform

Celebrity Quotesall our dreams can come true...if we have the courage to pursue them.

~ walt Disney

Star Wars Funny

How does luke Skywalker get though the forest?

ewoks

Qui

ck

Quo

te How we spend our days is—of course—how we spend our lives ~ Unknown

two boll weevils grew up in South carolina. one went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Interesting Facts

Very Punny

• turtles can breathe through their butts. • Butterflies taste with their feet. • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy

than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined. • on average, 100 people choke to death on ball-

point pens every year. • on average people fear spiders more than they do

death. • ninety percent of new york city cabbies are

recently arrived immigrants. • elephants are the only animals that can’t jump. • only one person in two billion will live to be 116

or older.

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

www.dkl�ooring.com

For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in re�nishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com

Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

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Experience

Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.

613-345-6220By appointment only

www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Your parents helped youcross the street safely, learn

to ride a bike and drive a car

248 Park St., W., Prescott613-925-3784

www.chartwellreit.ca

Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

613-345-1909

HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

BESTPRICEALWAYS

SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKS

Live Entertainment ~ Billiards ~ Darts ~ Shu�eboardBig Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays A

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Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke

Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919

Sam’s June & July Line-Up:

June 15 Little CaliforniaJune 22 Gypsy MoonJune 23 Gypsy Moon (3-7)June 29 Full Circle

July 6 The Journey MenJuly 7 Red Line (3-7)July 13 Blues HighwayJuly 20 Gypsy Moon

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Some friars were behind on the belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of god, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close down. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her, too. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mactaggart, the roughest, toughest and most vicious thug in town, to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close shop. terrified, the friars did so -- thereby proving that....... Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Music Notes

Asking KidsYour True Colors

Very Punny

Parents To Graduates

Wise Words

I am going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I’m going to smile. ~ Anonymous

Silly

Q

uote life is so unlike theory.

~ unknown

Qui

ck

rid

dle what happened when the teacher tied

all the kids’ shoe laces together?

They had a class trip!

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas. ~ paula poundstone

The Star-Spangled Banner became the uS national anthem in 1931. prior to that, it was My country ‘tis of Thee,” which had the same melody as Britain’s national anthem god Save the Queen, which is based on music writ-ten by John Bull in 1619. Bull’s melody has been used more than any song in national anthems.

The artist’s world is limitless. It can be found anywhere, far from where he lives or a few feet away. It is always on his doorstep. ~ paul Strand

It is more profitable to have understanding than winning the lottery.

Birth Order Makes A Difference

Clothing:

1st baby: you begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your oB/gyn confirms your pregnancy.2nd baby: you wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.3rd baby: your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

A Lesson In Hearta lesson in “heart” is my little, 10 year old daughter, Sarah, who was

born with a muscle missing in her foot and wears a brace all the time.She came home one beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed

in “field day” - that’s where they have lots of races and other competitive events. Because of her leg support, my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this get her down.

But before I could get a word out, she said, “Daddy, I won two of the rac-es!” I couldn’t believe it! and then Sarah said, “I had an advantage.” ahh... I knew it. I thought she must have been given a head start... some kind of physical advantage. But again, before I could say anything, she said, “Daddy, I didn’t get a head start... My advantage was I had to try harder!”

Marketing Gone Awry

an effort by the u.S. computer company to dem-onstrate its devotion to customers backfired when it tried to take its message across the pond in the 1970s. wang computer's motto, "wang cares," was immedi-ately laughed at by Brits for what it sounded like when spoken aloud: "wankers," a derogatory term in eng-land. not wanting to be associated with the slang, the company's u.k. retailers refused to use the slogan.

Question Answer

Funny SignsOn A Mother's Fridge

Q: why do bicycles fall over?

Because they are two-tired!

answer:

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear!

Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location?Call Jon at McGu�y’s News

613-342-0428jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

100 FREE 8½ x11 B ⁄W CopiesSome conditions apply. See store for details. Offer expires May 31, 2011.

We Copy & Print• Colour Digital Printing & Photocopying• Document Finishing• Business Cards & Stationery Items• Large Format Printing• Flyers & Brochures• And so much more!

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InnovativeWorkforceSolutions

Please Join our Broad Band of Expertise in Workforce Solutions

Virginia StennerBranch Manager105 King St WBrockville [email protected]

ManpowerGroup SolutionsPermanent PlacementSkilled TradesAssessments

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Airport ShuttleTel: 613-345-4915

www.cwaylimo.comBrockville • Ontario • Canada

5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

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Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist

Jon: 613 342 [email protected]

Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com

McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada!

www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Brockville and1000 Islands

[email protected], OnYour Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer

613-925-5560

Great Pricing & Deals!

Get Dad a New Boatfor Father’s Day!

VOL.

5

Issu

e 24

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓✓

Your business, your needs,

our help

Your business, your needs, our help

Doug PhillipsFinancial Security Advisor613-342-4401, ext. [email protected]

Gord Phillips, REBC, GBA, RHUFinancial Security Advisor613-342-4401, ext. [email protected]

Freedom 55 Financial and design are trademarks of London Life Insurance Company.

Manpower-InnovatIve workforce SolutIonS

My Dog grooMer pawla

leeDS county BookS

eaStern InDepenDent telecoM

golDen SoleS

a father and son went fishing one day. after a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied, “I don’t rightly know, son.” The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father,

“How do fish breath underwater?” once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.” a little later the boy asked his father, “why is the sky blue?” again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.” worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my

asking you all of these questions?” “of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions ... you’ll never learn anything!”

Avid Golfer

Asking Advice

My husband, an avid golf player couldn’t help challenging my boastful son to a game of golf. He was in for quite a surprise when on the first swing my son got a hole in one. “ok” my quick-thinking husband said while subtlety winking at me “now, I will take my practice shot, and then we will start.”

Empowering Thoughts

Statistics

Hairytown

Prayer is not a ‘spare wheel’ that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a ‘steering wheel’ that directs the right path throughout. ~ Unknown

There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them. ~ Sylvia Plath

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. ~ Jim Goodwin

Friendship is like a book. It takes years to write, but only a few seconds to burn. ~ Unknown

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself. So always think positively. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The Puzzle...The founders of Hairytown decreed years ago that:1. no two people can have the same number of hairs2. no one can have 999 hairs.3. no one can have more than, or the same number of hairs as, the population of the town The town has now reached its maximum population. can you figure out what the town population is?

Qui

ck

Joke example of a working class tradition; fathers

chasing kids around with their power tools.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures. ~ evan esar

The Solution... There are 999 people in the town, from bald to 998 hairs.

brockville 05 24

Documents

free fluid

helpyour business

free maintenance inspection

blinds free laundry

power generator

vehicle wrapscheck

day challenge

soil changes