mcguffysnews brockville 05 31

8
Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location? Call Jon at McGuffy’s News 613-342-0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com June 30, 2012 August Special Design/Presentation Papers your choice of Bag( 50 sheets) 25% off Regular price or Buy 1 Get 1 Free!! Expiry Aug 31,2012 www.hua-functional-fitness.webs.com HEARD UNDERSTOOD ACKNOWLEDGED Air Conditioned, Clean and Professional! 613-345-1482 NOW OFFERING CLASSES Work Out On Your Own Personal or Group Training Fitness Classes 212 King St W Brockville, On hua-functional-fi[email protected] Try Our Simple 3-Step Program $$ Earn extra income $$ $$ 100% Commissions $$ Visit www.larrett.NET or www.larRett.biz Work From Home! ~ Proven Results! Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s Edition To Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist Jon: 613 342 0428 jon@mcguffysnews.com Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada! www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca Brockville and 1000 Islands [email protected] Johnstown, On Your Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer 613-925-5560 Great Summer Prices On New Fishing Boats & Pontoons VOL. 5 Issue 31 Did you know that U.S. citizens and green card holders living in Canada need to file a U.S. tax return? www.heatherchapman.ca [email protected] 84 King St. West, Brockville 613-865-9014 Diligent Baby-Sitter A young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed. At 9 pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. e young man brusquely replied, “No.” Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, Mom, but he won’t let me go home!” Printer Cleaning When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?” “Actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usu- ally make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things them- selves first.”

Upload: k2mediaca

Post on 04-Mar-2016

218 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

DESCRIPTION

McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location?Call Jon at McGu�y’s News

613-342-0428jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

June 30, 2012

August SpecialDesign/Presentation Papers

your choice of Bag( 50 sheets)

25% o� Regular priceor

Buy 1 Get 1 Free!!Expiry

Aug 31,2012

www.hua-functional-�tness.webs.comHEARD UNDERSTOOD ACKNOWLEDGED

Air Conditioned, Clean and Professional!

613-345-1482

NOW OFFERING

CLASSES

Work Out On Your OwnPersonal or Group TrainingFitness Classes

212 King St WBrockville, Onhua-functional-�[email protected]

Try Our Simple 3-Step Program

$$ Earn extra income $$$$ 100% Commissions $$

Visit www.larrett.NET or www.larRett.biz

Work From Home! ~ Proven Results!

PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS· FLEET TRUCKS· PAINT PROTECTION· HEAVY EQUIPMENT· SOLVENT PRINTING· VEHICLE STRIPES· REAL ESTATE SIGNS· ILLUMINATED SIGNS

613-802-5497

PROFESSIONAL SIGNS

SPECIALIZING IN: VEHICLE WRAPS

Check us out at : www.tntdynamitesigns.com

Single vision eyewearlenses & frames $129.00

or1 year supply $199.00Acuve advance plus

(free trial fitting included)

Townsman Ltd., BrokerageIndependently owned & operated 116 King Street W., Brockville, On

Helping You Make The Right Move!

Rick Burt C.E.T.Sales Representative

Direct: 613-498-7547

[email protected]

“Visit my listings!”www.c21burt.com

798 Colonel Curry Drive4 bdrms/semi-detached$129,900!North EndIdeal for �rst home buyer

C - Way Services

Airport ShuttleTel: 613-345-4915

www.cwaylimo.comBrockville • Ontario • Canada

5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist

Jon: 613 342 [email protected]

Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com

McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada!

www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Brockville and1000 Islands

[email protected], OnYour Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer

613-925-5560

Great Summer PricesOn New Fishing

Boats & Pontoons

VOL.

5

Issu

e 31

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓✓

EastErn IndEpEndEnt tElEcom

thE stovE storE

Ups storE aUgUst spEcIal

mayfIEld rEtIrEmEnt rEsIdEncE

rIvErsIdE ford salEs - WE sEll tIrEs!

Did you know that U.S. citizens and green cardholders living in Canada need to �le a U.S. tax return?

[email protected]

84 King St. West, Brockville 613-865-9014

903 County Rd 21 R.R. # 4 Spencerville,On613-341-1195 www.bonlenplace.com

Book Your

Personal

Visit Today!A new choicein worry freeadult lifestyleliving!

Discover all that Bonlen Placehas to offer you!

Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event

in McGu�y’s News!

+ HST00

Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)

Call Jon613-342-0428Today!

jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

Diligent Baby-Sitter a young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have

an evening out. at bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.

one child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.

at 9 pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, “no.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

Printer Cleaning When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop

where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself.

pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usu-ally make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things them-selves first.”

Empowering Thoughts

Golf Figures

Qui

ck

Joke

Statistics

10 percent of men are left-handed while only 8 percent of women are left-handed. male or female, all left-handed people are “in their right mind.”

When marrying, ask yourself this question: do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

There is no greater excitement than to support an intellectual wife and have her support you. marriage is a partnership in which each inspires the other, and brings fruition to both of you. ~ Millicent Carey McIntosh

A pessimist finds difficulties in every opportunity; an optimist finds opportu-nities in every difficulty. ~ Harry Truman

Education is of no value and talent is worthless—unless you have an unwav-ering aim. never find yourself without a compass. ~ Condoleezza Rice

Suzie: how can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?Brother: don’t bite any!

• 125,000 golf balls a year are hit into the water at the famous 17th hole of the stadium course at sawgrass

• The longest drive ever recorded is 515 yards. The longest putt ever is a monstrous 375 feet

• phil mickelson, who plays left-handed, is actually right handed. he learned to play golf by mirroring his father’s golf swing, and he has used left handed golf clubs ever since

• the chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf are one in 67 million

• tiger Woods snagged his first ace at the tender age of eight years old• Balls travel significantly further on hot days. a golfer swinging a club at

around 100 mph will carry the driver up to eight yards longer for each increase in air temperature of 25°f

• The longest golf course in the world is the par 77 International golf club in massachusetts which measures a fearsome 8,325 yards

Page 2: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

www.dkl�ooring.com

For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in renishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com

Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

15 Years

Experience

Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.

613-345-6220By appointment only

www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

613-345-1909

HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

BESTPRICEALWAYS

SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKS

Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke

Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919

Sam’s July & August Line-Up:

Aug 3 Jack Daniels BandAug 10 Blues HighwayAug 17 Little California

Aug 24 Gypsy MoonAug 31 City Limits

Aug 25th 4th Annual Sam’sboat cruise$35 p.p. tickets

(available at bar)

vIsIt

oU

r n

EW W

EBsItE W

WW

.mc

gU

ffysnEW

sBroc

Kv

IllE.ca

!

Old Fashioned Homemade Fudge

Ice Cream & Treats

Gift Ideas for All Ages!

O’Mally Kourt Fudgery

1535 Country RD 2Mallorytown, ON.

Rachael GallacherOwner/Operator

Buy 1 lb. of fudge get 1/2 lb. !FREE!

Enjoy a treat today!

613-349-6302

Call Jon (613) 342 0428

This double size adis available foryour business!

248 Park St., W., Prescott613-925-3784

www.chartwellreit.ca

MAYFIELDRETIREMENT RESIDENCE

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Exceeding The Speed Limit

Words To Live By

silly

Q

uote If you think you’re too small to have an impact try going

to bed with a mosquito in the room. ~ Anita Koddick

sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.

he thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” so he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“slower than the speed limit? no sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The state police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.

a bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for point-ing out her error.

“But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car oK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.

“oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off route 142.”

Affirmations Of The Unstable

today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”

love ...... and you shall be loved.

True Colors

Qui

ck

rid

dle

Yes, I Can!

Descriptive

♪ Music Notes ♫

Everything in creation has its appointed painter or poet and remains in bondage like the princess in the fairy tale 'til its ap-propriate liberator comes to set it free.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

hooked on drugs by 9 years old, Joe roberts eventually found himself homeless - living under a bridge – a hopeless addict. But in time he found ways to change his life. after successfully completing detox, Joe took a six month treatment program to fully overcome his addiction. Joe took respon-sibility for his life, not only overcoming the addiction but also the issues of poverty and homelessness.

today Joe roberts is a canadian inspiration – a prime example of over-coming adversity and managing change. as a motivational speaker, author and cEo, he is sought after internationally to motivate audiences with his “yes, I can” attitude.

Q: Where were English kings usually crowned? answer: on their heads!

School Excusesplease excuse Jennifer for missing school yes-

terday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday, we thought it was sunday.

1. The British, the highest per capita spenders on music, buy 7.2% of the world music market.

2. The first pop video was Bohemian rhapsody by Queen, released in 1975.

3. The Beatles song “martha my dear” was written by paul mccartney about his sheepdog martha.

4. a grand piano can be played faster than an upright (spinet) piano.5. The harmonica is the world’s best-selling music instrument.6. The term “disc jockey” was first used in 1937.7. The last note of a keyboard is c.

It hurts the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Mosquitoesmosquitoes have been around for as long as we

have. They have chemical sensors that can detect mammals from 100 feet away; they have heat sen-sors to detect warm-blooded creatures; and they have visual sensors that detect movement and contrast in colors. The first activity of an adult mosquito is to mate. The females lay their eggs and then live from days to months afterward. The male mosquito dies within days after mating.

Page 3: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249

Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service

Summer Special!Save 25% OFF

We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

vIsIt

oU

r n

EW W

EBsItE W

WW

.mc

gU

ffysnEW

sBroc

Kv

IllE.ca

!

McGuffy’sDesigned Ads

Produce For You!

613-342-0428Call for details.

This double size adis available foryour business!

Need anelectrifying ad?

Call Jon(613) 342-0428

Paling’s Family Fun Centre

18 Hole Mini Golf - Driving Range -Ticket Redemption Arcade Games

1850 County RD 2 East Brockville, ON

613-342-8467

18 HOLE MINIATURE GOLF (2 persons) / $9DRIVING RANGE (2 baskets) / $9

Chipwagon Style Food

Coupon

(Limit 2 coupons per group) Expires 08/15/2012

Bring This Ad In

Hot Dogs ~ Hamburgers ~ Fresh Cut Fries ~ PogosSlushies ~ Cotton Candy ~ Ice Cream ~ Soft Drinks

CRO

SSW

ORD

Golf Partner

Hairy

measurements

alex comes home after his regular saturday golf game and his wife, amanda asks why he doesn’t include John gumby in the games anymore.

alex asks, ‘Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears outrageously over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?’

‘of course I wouldn’t,’ states amanda. ‘Well,’ mutters alex, ‘neither does John gumby.’

Real Ads The Following Are Real Ads ~ Classified And Otherwise 1. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume

general housekeeping duties. must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

2. mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for ef-ficient beating.

3. mother’s helper—peasant working conditions. 4. semi-annual after-christmas sale. 5. and now, the superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,

unrivaled inconvenience.

I mustache you a question!But I'll shave it for later.

Across5. 100th of a meter6. Unit of electricity8. distance light travels10. dry measure capacity12. Basic length measure15. 1000 meters18. measurement of force

19. 1/12 of a year20. metric unit of capacity

Down 1. measure of length2. 1/1000th of a second3. 12 inches (pl)4. time measure (60

min)5. Unit measure of heat7. Weight measure9. Elec. current measure11. temperature measure13. small amount14. paper measure16. Weight measure17. Basic metric weight

Marveling At The Moon

Proof Positive

Reasons To Be From SaskatchewanBumper Sticker 1. no disintegrations. 2. If you’re running from the law, hide in a building

and lock the door. They may decide to move on to the next one. otherwise, hope they don’t have blasters.

3. If it’s, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow.

4. take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars.

5. fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station.

6. cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you’re a god.

Prosecutor: What were you doing on July 15th at 9 o’clock in the evening?prisoner: I was eating hamburger.Prosecutor: What were you doing at 9:30 p.m.?prisoner: I was taking a bicarbonate of soda.Prosecutor: do you expect us to believe you?prisoner: you would if you had eaten one of those hamburgers.

• The astronauts must eat any fresh vegetables or fruit within two days after launch, as it quickly spoils, so the majority of fruit such as apricots is dried. any meat will have to be heat-treated to kill any bacte-ria that might spoil the food. certain foods such as bread are not allowed in space as crumbs can be inhaled, get in one’s eyes or damage equipment. tortillas are given to the astronauts instead.

• Being an astronaut is their regular job, but they do have relaxation time. during this time the astronauts can read a book, watch a movie, or talk to their fam-ily on Earth. They can even use an exercise bike (and they have to do a lot of exercise to stay healthy.).

• you never run out of wheat • Those cool saskatchewan Wheat pool hats • cruise control takes on a whole new meaning • your province is really easy to draw • you never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard • It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor’s house • you can watch the dog run away from home for hours • people will assume you live on a farm • Buying a huge John deere mower makes sense • americans give you weird looks because the your province or town’s

name sounds funny. • The giant green turtle in turtleford, is one of a kind.

sudoku solution crossword solution

While piloting a car can be rife with weird restric-tions, drivers should also be careful of some strange parking rules.

In cape coral, fla., it’s illegal to park a pickup truck on the street in front of a house unless you own the property. similarly in montreal, you may not park a car in such a way that it blocks your own driveway. trucks may only park inside closed garages in park ridge, Ill., and in long Beach, calif., cars are the only item allowed in a garage. In Indiana you cannot back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Bizarre Traffic Laws

Celebrity Quotes In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I’d work. ~ steve carell

Page 4: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Christie Aluminum Products

Custom windows that are a perfect t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!

900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874

613-345-2110Brad Sharron, DD65 George St.Brockville, ONwww.brockvilledentureclinic.com

Excellent Service for over 14 Years!Dentures made on site = Time+Cost E�ectiveMaximum bene�ts from the most advanced denture technology

“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”

• Complete - partial dentures• Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners• Implant denturesNo Referrals Necessary!

Denture Specialist

Aqua Plus Pools

Adam FishOwner

“Your Bridge Over Troubled Water”

613-340-9556 613-213-1888

Contact the Pool Experts today to Maintain your Pool or Spa

on a Weekly/Bi-Weekly Maintenance Schedule.

A�ordable Pricing! Call us for details!

The Canadian Hearing Society

• improve communication • improve safety in your home

• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

Phone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205

Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Itrix

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200

Fax 613 - 498 - 2205

• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary

ColemanOwner

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP Golden Soles

Gift CertificatesAvailable 46 King St East, Brockville, On

613-342-7111 cell 613-340-6330

25% o� Summer Footwear

& Accessories

6 Beverly StreetSpencerville, ON.613-658-31011-888-370-9859www.thestovestore.netthestovestore@ripnet.com

BOO

K YO

UR

APPO

INTM

ENT

TOD

AY!!

DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE!Professional

Service

Wood | Pellet | Gas | Propane StovesFireplaces ~ Inserts ~ Heat PumpsWe clean & service:

Check out what is happening daily for local community events @ www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Or submit your event to us to post on-line for FREE!

Senior’s Discounts

Free

Estimates

New & Old - Drywall/WoodMike Dowdall, Owner [email protected]

Back to School Specials!Quality Refurbished Computers

Starting @ $99.00!!

Stump Grinding Free EstimatesTree Removal Fully Insured

Maple Heights Tree ServiceServing the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable

1-877-MAPLE-10(1-877-627-5310)[email protected]

DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT

Voice over IP Serviceall calls in Canada and USA are free

Business Service - Local Lines - $24.95 - Business Systems - Network Installation

Residential Service - $17.95 - 2 Lines - all features

voice2net.ca Local ServiceBrockville (613) 704-1248 Kingston (613) 777-0355

Your Business Should STAND OUT!and it will in your LOCAL McGu�y`s!

Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428

Four Season Family FitnessYour In-Home Fitness Specialist!

www.fourseasonfamily�tness.com 613-349-2210

Pre & Post natal fitnessYouth with special weight needsNutrition educationFITNESS for familiesFITNESS bootcampsGroup & Individual training p

ers

onal tr

ain

ing

is o

ur

specia

lty

Kati

e B

all

CS

EP-C

PT,

PFS

A Fresh Perspective

John G. Miller author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’,

http://www.qbq.com/ denver, Colorado, Usa 303-286-9900 [email protected]

Be an Owner, Not an Occupier one definition of “occupy” is to “dwell in a space.” too often, we humans do

this we just take up space. and sometimes, we just take up … time. time, as we all know, can be measured in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds. But I like the word the unit of time—called a “moment.”

It’s certainly a common description of time. We say, “Just a moment!” “I’ll be with you in a moment!” or “please wait one moment.” or, if we demonstrate quickness of mind or humor, or we act fast, decisively, and perform deftly, we are said to be “in the moment." We are told to “seize the moment.” moments are the essence of the adage, “don’t blink or you’ll miss it.” But it is easy to miss a mo-ment, and what we’re really missing is the opportunity to own the moment. The truth is, opportunities come in moments and in moments there can be opportu-nity. and when we fail to own the opportunities that come along, we diminish ourselves because in that moment—we likely served less, contributed little, added no value, and eschewed practicing personal accountability.

on the flip side, when we simply occUpy a moment, we miss our chance to give, to help someone, to solve a problem. occupiers of moments are often bystanders, watchers, observers. Quite honestly, sometimes they are complainers, whiners, blamers. not always … I said sometimes. Bottom line, I just think it’s bet-ter to own moments than to occupy them.

In chapter one of the QBQ! book, there is story about Jacob, the rock Bot-tom restaurant server, who, as he was heading to the kitchen weighed down by a loaded tray of dirty dishes, spotted me, stopped, and met my needs. he didn’t think the thoughts of an occupier such as, "not my department. not my job. not my problem". he thought the thoughts of an owner: "I care. I want to serve oth-ers. I will be my best today". maybe a tad pedestrian, but in the pedestrian we find the practical, here are the kinds of things people do when they own a moment:

a manager stops debating with a staff member, trying to win a point, and pauses, saying, “you know, I think there’s more to this than I’m aware of. can

you share with me what’s really on your mind?”a parent, after instructing a child to stop engaging in a specific behavior, actu-

ally follows through, preventing disobedience and earning the child’s respect. (We call this “strong parenting” in parenting the QBQ Way)

a salesperson on a sales call stops blathering on about the product and asks the customer, “What problems are you experiencing?” and “how can I best help you?”

a driver on the road responds to another driver—who just committed a mental error—with a rare-in-today’s-society friendly wave and a smile.

a spouse arriving home from a long, tough slog at work rises above, saying to the other, “tell me about your day.”

a sibling, friend, or co-worker, when told by another that their words or ac-tions hurt, stops and asks, “I am so sorry, what was it that I said or did?” instead of lashing out with defensiveness, justification, and blame.

a twenty-something with a cell phone, good car, and some money in his pocket stops to help a stranger on a colorado highway at midnight as all the other cars drove on by.

now, I am not recommending anyone engage in that last one and there’s no need to email me about the risk. I understand. But when michael, the only miller son, informed us the next morning that he’d stopped to help a woman stranded in a decade old vehicle with only $10 in her purse, secured for her a tow truck by phone with his debit card, and waited for help to arrive—I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of him.

owning a moment—not just occupying one—is really an outstanding way to live. at its core, it’s what personal accountability is all about, asking The Question Behind the Question, the QBQs: “What can I do own this moment?” and “how can I right now make a difference?”

don’t be an occupier. Be an owner. John g. miller

Black Or White

a french guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.“no! I want toilette pepper!” exclaims the

exasperated guest.

Good Question

1. If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?2. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? 3. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 4. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all

still working?

Page 5: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Christie Aluminum Products

Custom windows that are a perfect t!An air tight investment!High quality, energy e�cient vinyl windows and doors!

900 Industrial Rd, Prescott Ontario613-925-5374 (cell) 613-802-2874

613-345-2110Brad Sharron, DD65 George St.Brockville, ONwww.brockvilledentureclinic.com

Excellent Service for over 14 Years!Dentures made on site = Time+Cost E�ectiveMaximum bene�ts from the most advanced denture technology

“Smile WITH CONFIDENCE!”

• Complete - partial dentures• Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners• Implant denturesNo Referrals Necessary!

Denture Specialist

Aqua Plus Pools

Adam FishOwner

“Your Bridge Over Troubled Water”

613-340-9556 613-213-1888

Contact the Pool Experts today to Maintain your Pool or Spa

on a Weekly/Bi-Weekly Maintenance Schedule.

A�ordable Pricing! Call us for details!

The Canadian Hearing Society

• improve communication • improve safety in your home

• assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

Phone 613-498-3933 TTY 1-877-817-8209Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205

Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Itrix

51 King St. West, Brockville, ON613 - 498 - 2200

Fax 613 - 498 - 2205

• Quality Eyewear• Contact Lenses• Eye Exams Arranged• 24 Years of ExperienceRosemary

ColemanOwner

ROSEMARY’S OPTICAL SHOP Golden Soles

Gift CertificatesAvailable 46 King St East, Brockville, On

613-342-7111 cell 613-340-6330

25% o� Summer Footwear

& Accessories

6 Beverly StreetSpencerville, ON.613-658-31011-888-370-9859www.thestovestore.netthestovestore@ripnet.com

BOO

K YO

UR

APPO

INTM

ENT

TOD

AY!!

DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE!Professional

Service

Wood | Pellet | Gas | Propane StovesFireplaces ~ Inserts ~ Heat PumpsWe clean & service:

Check out what is happening daily for local community events @ www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Or submit your event to us to post on-line for FREE!

Senior’s Discounts

Free

Estimates

New & Old - Drywall/WoodMike Dowdall, Owner [email protected]

Back to School Specials!Quality Refurbished Computers

Starting @ $99.00!!

Stump Grinding Free EstimatesTree Removal Fully Insured

Maple Heights Tree ServiceServing the Seaway and Ottawa Valley Professional...Yet Affordable

1-877-MAPLE-10(1-877-627-5310)[email protected]

DOUG CHAPMAN – PRESIDENT

Voice over IP Serviceall calls in Canada and USA are free

Business Service - Local Lines - $24.95 - Business Systems - Network Installation

Residential Service - $17.95 - 2 Lines - all features

voice2net.ca Local ServiceBrockville (613) 704-1248 Kingston (613) 777-0355

Your Business Should STAND OUT!and it will in your LOCAL McGu�y`s!

Call to place YOUR ad TODAY! 613.342.0428

Four Season Family FitnessYour In-Home Fitness Specialist!

www.fourseasonfamily�tness.com 613-349-2210

Pre & Post natal fitnessYouth with special weight needsNutrition educationFITNESS for familiesFITNESS bootcampsGroup & Individual training p

ers

onal tr

ain

ing

is o

ur

specia

lty

Kati

e B

all

CS

EP-C

PT,

PFS

A Fresh Perspective

John G. Miller author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’,

http://www.qbq.com/ denver, Colorado, Usa 303-286-9900 [email protected]

Be an Owner, Not an Occupier one definition of “occupy” is to “dwell in a space.” too often, we humans do

this we just take up space. and sometimes, we just take up … time. time, as we all know, can be measured in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds. But I like the word the unit of time—called a “moment.”

It’s certainly a common description of time. We say, “Just a moment!” “I’ll be with you in a moment!” or “please wait one moment.” or, if we demonstrate quickness of mind or humor, or we act fast, decisively, and perform deftly, we are said to be “in the moment." We are told to “seize the moment.” moments are the essence of the adage, “don’t blink or you’ll miss it.” But it is easy to miss a mo-ment, and what we’re really missing is the opportunity to own the moment. The truth is, opportunities come in moments and in moments there can be opportu-nity. and when we fail to own the opportunities that come along, we diminish ourselves because in that moment—we likely served less, contributed little, added no value, and eschewed practicing personal accountability.

on the flip side, when we simply occUpy a moment, we miss our chance to give, to help someone, to solve a problem. occupiers of moments are often bystanders, watchers, observers. Quite honestly, sometimes they are complainers, whiners, blamers. not always … I said sometimes. Bottom line, I just think it’s bet-ter to own moments than to occupy them.

In chapter one of the QBQ! book, there is story about Jacob, the rock Bot-tom restaurant server, who, as he was heading to the kitchen weighed down by a loaded tray of dirty dishes, spotted me, stopped, and met my needs. he didn’t think the thoughts of an occupier such as, "not my department. not my job. not my problem". he thought the thoughts of an owner: "I care. I want to serve oth-ers. I will be my best today". maybe a tad pedestrian, but in the pedestrian we find the practical, here are the kinds of things people do when they own a moment:

a manager stops debating with a staff member, trying to win a point, and pauses, saying, “you know, I think there’s more to this than I’m aware of. can

you share with me what’s really on your mind?”a parent, after instructing a child to stop engaging in a specific behavior, actu-

ally follows through, preventing disobedience and earning the child’s respect. (We call this “strong parenting” in parenting the QBQ Way)

a salesperson on a sales call stops blathering on about the product and asks the customer, “What problems are you experiencing?” and “how can I best help you?”

a driver on the road responds to another driver—who just committed a mental error—with a rare-in-today’s-society friendly wave and a smile.

a spouse arriving home from a long, tough slog at work rises above, saying to the other, “tell me about your day.”

a sibling, friend, or co-worker, when told by another that their words or ac-tions hurt, stops and asks, “I am so sorry, what was it that I said or did?” instead of lashing out with defensiveness, justification, and blame.

a twenty-something with a cell phone, good car, and some money in his pocket stops to help a stranger on a colorado highway at midnight as all the other cars drove on by.

now, I am not recommending anyone engage in that last one and there’s no need to email me about the risk. I understand. But when michael, the only miller son, informed us the next morning that he’d stopped to help a woman stranded in a decade old vehicle with only $10 in her purse, secured for her a tow truck by phone with his debit card, and waited for help to arrive—I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of him.

owning a moment—not just occupying one—is really an outstanding way to live. at its core, it’s what personal accountability is all about, asking The Question Behind the Question, the QBQs: “What can I do own this moment?” and “how can I right now make a difference?”

don’t be an occupier. Be an owner. John g. miller

Black Or White

a french guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

“Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge.“no! I want toilette pepper!” exclaims the

exasperated guest.

Good Question

1. If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?2. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? 3. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 4. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all

still working?

Page 6: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

“In �e Of Brockville”

What Do You Want

To Re�ect?

Guys & Gals Full Service SalonSteph Saunders Owner

[email protected] 165 King St W Brockville613-498-9898

“Good Bookkeeping Makes Good Cent$”

Little Bear Bookkeepingwww.littlebearbookkeeping.ca

Patricia Doucette Owner/Bookkeeper613-246-6482

Start UpBank ReconciliationGov’t Remittances

Payroll-ROE’s-T4’sSource DocumentationMonthly Financial Statements

www.dkl�ooring.com

For All Your Hardwood NeedsSpecializing in renishing Old Wood Floors

“Restore Your Floor and More”

Chris Plume 613-349-4500chris@dkl�ooring.com

Floor Refinishing Fully Licensed & InsuredOver

15 Years

Experience

Loving atmosphereTrims Baths Nails

Paula FairfieldOwner/operatorBrockville, On.

613-345-6220By appointment only

www.mydoggroomerpawla.com

Riverside Ford Sales LtdBrockville, ON

613-345-1909

HAVE A QUESTION?OR WANT A QUOTE?

Email the [email protected]

BESTPRICEALWAYS

SAM’S BRASS RACKSSAM’S BRASS RACKS

Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays

Monday’s - Pool League 7pmThurdays - Karaoke

Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm

24 Perth St, Brockville, ON (613)498 1919

Sam’s July & August Line-Up:

Aug 3 Jack Daniels BandAug 10 Blues HighwayAug 17 Little California

Aug 24 Gypsy MoonAug 31 City Limits

Aug 25th 4th Annual Sam’sboat cruise$35 p.p. tickets

(available at bar)

vIsIt

oU

r n

EW W

EBsItE W

WW

.mc

gU

ffysnEW

sBroc

Kv

IllE.ca

!

Old Fashioned Homemade Fudge

Ice Cream & Treats

Gift Ideas for All Ages!

O’Mally Kourt Fudgery

1535 Country RD 2Mallorytown, ON.

Rachael GallacherOwner/Operator

Buy 1 lb. of fudge get 1/2 lb. !FREE!

Enjoy a treat today!

613-349-6302

Call Jon (613) 342 0428

This double size adis available foryour business!

248 Park St., W., Prescott613-925-3784

www.chartwellreit.ca

MAYFIELDRETIREMENT RESIDENCE

Your parents helped you cross the street safely, learn to ride a bike and drive a car

Now they need you to help them make the right decision

Exceeding The Speed Limit

Words To Live By

silly

Q

uote If you think you’re too small to have an impact try going

to bed with a mosquito in the room. ~ Anita Koddick

sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.

he thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” so he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”

“ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“slower than the speed limit? no sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The state police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.

a bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for point-ing out her error.

“But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car oK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.

“oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off route 142.”

Affirmations Of The Unstable

today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than “I told you so.”

love ...... and you shall be loved.

True Colors

Qui

ck

rid

dle

Yes, I Can!

Descriptive

♪ Music Notes ♫

Everything in creation has its appointed painter or poet and remains in bondage like the princess in the fairy tale 'til its ap-propriate liberator comes to set it free.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

hooked on drugs by 9 years old, Joe roberts eventually found himself homeless - living under a bridge – a hopeless addict. But in time he found ways to change his life. after successfully completing detox, Joe took a six month treatment program to fully overcome his addiction. Joe took respon-sibility for his life, not only overcoming the addiction but also the issues of poverty and homelessness.

today Joe roberts is a canadian inspiration – a prime example of over-coming adversity and managing change. as a motivational speaker, author and cEo, he is sought after internationally to motivate audiences with his “yes, I can” attitude.

Q: Where were English kings usually crowned? answer: on their heads!

School Excusesplease excuse Jennifer for missing school yes-

terday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday, we thought it was sunday.

1. The British, the highest per capita spenders on music, buy 7.2% of the world music market.

2. The first pop video was Bohemian rhapsody by Queen, released in 1975.

3. The Beatles song “martha my dear” was written by paul mccartney about his sheepdog martha.

4. a grand piano can be played faster than an upright (spinet) piano.5. The harmonica is the world’s best-selling music instrument.6. The term “disc jockey” was first used in 1937.7. The last note of a keyboard is c.

It hurts the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Mosquitoesmosquitoes have been around for as long as we

have. They have chemical sensors that can detect mammals from 100 feet away; they have heat sen-sors to detect warm-blooded creatures; and they have visual sensors that detect movement and contrast in colors. The first activity of an adult mosquito is to mate. The females lay their eggs and then live from days to months afterward. The male mosquito dies within days after mating.

Page 7: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Ph: 613-925-0000Fax: 613-925-0129

24/7 Service

Plumbing, Heating & Water Services Inc.

3526 County RD 26, Prescott, ONT.

Call the plumbing & water experts today!

Courtney Sadler Owner73 King St W

Brockville, ON

Open 7 Days a Week!

Great Summer Reading Titles!Give us a call 613-342-5728

www.leedscountybooks.caThis area’s #1 supplier of river charts, topographical

maps & regional books! Shop Online With Us

HWY 29 Auto Service#3012 Hwy 29, Brockville, On613-342-5249

Exhaust Brakes/BearingsStruts Transmission Service

Summer Special!Save 25% OFF

We Help Keep Car Repairs Affordable!

vIsIt

oU

r n

EW W

EBsItE W

WW

.mc

gU

ffysnEW

sBroc

Kv

IllE.ca

!

McGuffy’sDesigned Ads

Produce For You!

613-342-0428Call for details.

This double size adis available foryour business!

Need anelectrifying ad?

Call Jon(613) 342-0428

Paling’s Family Fun Centre

18 Hole Mini Golf - Driving Range -Ticket Redemption Arcade Games

1850 County RD 2 East Brockville, ON

613-342-8467

18 HOLE MINIATURE GOLF (2 persons) / $9DRIVING RANGE (2 baskets) / $9

Chipwagon Style Food

Coupon

(Limit 2 coupons per group) Expires 08/15/2012

Bring This Ad In

Hot Dogs ~ Hamburgers ~ Fresh Cut Fries ~ PogosSlushies ~ Cotton Candy ~ Ice Cream ~ Soft Drinks

CRO

SSW

ORD

Golf Partner

Hairy

measurements

alex comes home after his regular saturday golf game and his wife, amanda asks why he doesn’t include John gumby in the games anymore.

alex asks, ‘Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears outrageously over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?’

‘of course I wouldn’t,’ states amanda. ‘Well,’ mutters alex, ‘neither does John gumby.’

Real Ads The Following Are Real Ads ~ Classified And Otherwise 1. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume

general housekeeping duties. must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

2. mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for ef-ficient beating.

3. mother’s helper—peasant working conditions. 4. semi-annual after-christmas sale. 5. and now, the superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,

unrivaled inconvenience.

I mustache you a question!But I'll shave it for later.

Across5. 100th of a meter6. Unit of electricity8. distance light travels10. dry measure capacity12. Basic length measure15. 1000 meters18. measurement of force

19. 1/12 of a year20. metric unit of capacity

Down 1. measure of length2. 1/1000th of a second3. 12 inches (pl)4. time measure (60

min)5. Unit measure of heat7. Weight measure9. Elec. current measure11. temperature measure13. small amount14. paper measure16. Weight measure17. Basic metric weight

Marveling At The Moon

Proof Positive

Reasons To Be From SaskatchewanBumper Sticker 1. no disintegrations. 2. If you’re running from the law, hide in a building

and lock the door. They may decide to move on to the next one. otherwise, hope they don’t have blasters.

3. If it’s, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow.

4. take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars.

5. fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station.

6. cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you’re a god.

Prosecutor: What were you doing on July 15th at 9 o’clock in the evening?prisoner: I was eating hamburger.Prosecutor: What were you doing at 9:30 p.m.?prisoner: I was taking a bicarbonate of soda.Prosecutor: do you expect us to believe you?prisoner: you would if you had eaten one of those hamburgers.

• The astronauts must eat any fresh vegetables or fruit within two days after launch, as it quickly spoils, so the majority of fruit such as apricots is dried. any meat will have to be heat-treated to kill any bacte-ria that might spoil the food. certain foods such as bread are not allowed in space as crumbs can be inhaled, get in one’s eyes or damage equipment. tortillas are given to the astronauts instead.

• Being an astronaut is their regular job, but they do have relaxation time. during this time the astronauts can read a book, watch a movie, or talk to their fam-ily on Earth. They can even use an exercise bike (and they have to do a lot of exercise to stay healthy.).

• you never run out of wheat • Those cool saskatchewan Wheat pool hats • cruise control takes on a whole new meaning • your province is really easy to draw • you never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard • It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor’s house • you can watch the dog run away from home for hours • people will assume you live on a farm • Buying a huge John deere mower makes sense • americans give you weird looks because the your province or town’s

name sounds funny. • The giant green turtle in turtleford, is one of a kind.

sudoku solution crossword solution

While piloting a car can be rife with weird restric-tions, drivers should also be careful of some strange parking rules.

In cape coral, fla., it’s illegal to park a pickup truck on the street in front of a house unless you own the property. similarly in montreal, you may not park a car in such a way that it blocks your own driveway. trucks may only park inside closed garages in park ridge, Ill., and in long Beach, calif., cars are the only item allowed in a garage. In Indiana you cannot back into a parking spot because it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Bizarre Traffic Laws

Celebrity Quotes In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I’d work. ~ steve carell

Page 8: McGuffysNews Brockville 05 31

Want A Permanent Front Page Lug Location?Call Jon at McGu�y’s News

613-342-0428jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

June 30, 2012

August SpecialDesign/Presentation Papers

your choice of Bag( 50 sheets)

25% o� Regular priceor

Buy 1 Get 1 Free!!Expiry

Aug 31,2012

www.hua-functional-�tness.webs.comHEARD UNDERSTOOD ACKNOWLEDGED

Air Conditioned, Clean and Professional!

613-345-1482

NOW OFFERING

CLASSES

Work Out On Your OwnPersonal or Group TrainingFitness Classes

212 King St WBrockville, Onhua-functional-�[email protected]

Try Our Simple 3-Step Program

$$ Earn extra income $$$$ 100% Commissions $$

Visit www.larrett.NET or www.larRett.biz

Work From Home! ~ Proven Results!

PORTABLE RENTAL SIGNS· FLEET TRUCKS· PAINT PROTECTION· HEAVY EQUIPMENT· SOLVENT PRINTING· VEHICLE STRIPES· REAL ESTATE SIGNS· ILLUMINATED SIGNS

613-802-5497

PROFESSIONAL SIGNS

SPECIALIZING IN: VEHICLE WRAPS

Check us out at : www.tntdynamitesigns.com

Single vision eyewearlenses & frames $129.00

or1 year supply $199.00Acuve advance plus

(free trial fitting included)

Townsman Ltd., BrokerageIndependently owned & operated 116 King Street W., Brockville, On

Helping You Make The Right Move!

Rick Burt C.E.T.Sales Representative

Direct: 613-498-7547

[email protected]

“Visit my listings!”www.c21burt.com

798 Colonel Curry Drive4 bdrms/semi-detached$129,900!North EndIdeal for �rst home buyer

C - Way Services

Airport ShuttleTel: 613-345-4915

www.cwaylimo.comBrockville • Ontario • Canada

5 ads you should check out in this issue!You Should Check This Out!

Your Local WEEKLY McGuffy’s EditionTo Advertise Contact Your Advertising Specialist

Jon: 613 342 [email protected]

Head Office: 306-446-2710 www.mcguffysnews.com

McGuffy's Business and Career Opportunities Across Canada!

www.mcguffysnewsbrockville.ca

Brockville and1000 Islands

[email protected], OnYour Princecraft Mercury Argo Dealer

613-925-5560

Great Summer PricesOn New Fishing

Boats & Pontoons

VOL.

5

Issu

e 31

✓ ✓ ✓ ✓✓

EastErn IndEpEndEnt tElEcom

thE stovE storE

Ups storE aUgUst spEcIal

mayfIEld rEtIrEmEnt rEsIdEncE

rIvErsIdE ford salEs - WE sEll tIrEs!

Did you know that U.S. citizens and green cardholders living in Canada need to �le a U.S. tax return?

[email protected]

84 King St. West, Brockville 613-865-9014

903 County Rd 21 R.R. # 4 Spencerville,On613-341-1195 www.bonlenplace.com

Book Your

Personal

Visit Today!A new choicein worry freeadult lifestyleliving!

Discover all that Bonlen Placehas to offer you!

Advertise YourNon-Pro�t Community Event

in McGu�y’s News!

+ HST00

Word Ads Starting at$15.(50 Words or Less)

Call Jon613-342-0428Today!

jon@mcgu�ysnews.com

Diligent Baby-Sitter a young man agreed to baby-sit one night so a single mother could have

an evening out. at bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football.

one child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back to bed.

at 9 pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor, mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, “no.”

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted, “I’m here, mom, but he won’t let me go home!”

Printer Cleaning When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop

where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job himself.

pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, “does your boss know that you discourage business?”

“actually, it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usu-ally make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things them-selves first.”

Empowering Thoughts

Golf Figures

Qui

ck

Joke

Statistics

10 percent of men are left-handed while only 8 percent of women are left-handed. male or female, all left-handed people are “in their right mind.”

When marrying, ask yourself this question: do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

There is no greater excitement than to support an intellectual wife and have her support you. marriage is a partnership in which each inspires the other, and brings fruition to both of you. ~ Millicent Carey McIntosh

A pessimist finds difficulties in every opportunity; an optimist finds opportu-nities in every difficulty. ~ Harry Truman

Education is of no value and talent is worthless—unless you have an unwav-ering aim. never find yourself without a compass. ~ Condoleezza Rice

Suzie: how can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?Brother: don’t bite any!

• 125,000 golf balls a year are hit into the water at the famous 17th hole of the stadium course at sawgrass

• The longest drive ever recorded is 515 yards. The longest putt ever is a monstrous 375 feet

• phil mickelson, who plays left-handed, is actually right handed. he learned to play golf by mirroring his father’s golf swing, and he has used left handed golf clubs ever since

• the chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf are one in 67 million

• tiger Woods snagged his first ace at the tender age of eight years old• Balls travel significantly further on hot days. a golfer swinging a club at

around 100 mph will carry the driver up to eight yards longer for each increase in air temperature of 25°f

• The longest golf course in the world is the par 77 International golf club in massachusetts which measures a fearsome 8,325 yards