BULLY-BULLY-PROOFING PROOFING 0UR SCHOOL0UR SCHOOL

Smithland Elementary Smithland Elementary SchoolSchool

What is Bullying?What is Bullying?

Bullying is when purposeful acts of Bullying is when purposeful acts of meanness are repeated over time in meanness are repeated over time in an situation where there is an an situation where there is an imbalance of power.imbalance of power.

Purposeful acts of meannessPurposeful acts of meanness RepeatedRepeated

Imbalance of powerImbalance of power

TypesTypes of Bullyingof Bullying

PhysicalPhysical- hitting, shoving, pushing - hitting, shoving, pushing and destroying property.and destroying property.

VerbalVerbal - teasing, name calling, - teasing, name calling, threats, threats,

RelationalRelational - gossiping, - gossiping, embarrassing, leaving someone outembarrassing, leaving someone out

Who Is Involved?Who Is Involved?

The BullyThe Bully

The VictimThe Victim

The BystanderThe Bystander

The BullyThe Bully Displays little empathy for victimsDisplays little empathy for victims Enjoys the roleEnjoys the role Lacks a sense of remorseLacks a sense of remorse Seeks control and dominationSeeks control and domination Seeks attention from peersSeeks attention from peers Is a good communicator who is quick witted, Is a good communicator who is quick witted,

offers fast verbal responses, and is able to talk offers fast verbal responses, and is able to talk his way out of troublehis way out of trouble

Has a significant role model who modes Has a significant role model who modes aggressive or violent behavioraggressive or violent behavior

Often strong, tough, powerful, well Often strong, tough, powerful, well coordinated, dominant, confidentcoordinated, dominant, confident

The Victim (passive)The Victim (passive)

Does not invite attack; is sensitiveDoes not invite attack; is sensitive Is emotional, cry easilyIs emotional, cry easily Generally lacks social skillsGenerally lacks social skills Feels isolated at school/ lonely/ Feels isolated at school/ lonely/

depresseddepressed May have learning problemMay have learning problem Is unable to defend himself/herselfIs unable to defend himself/herself Is likely to be anxious and insecureIs likely to be anxious and insecure

Victim (provocative)Victim (provocative)

Has few friendsHas few friends Repeatedly pesters and irritates othersRepeatedly pesters and irritates others Is quick tempered and easily provokedIs quick tempered and easily provoked Will fight backWill fight back May provoke attacksMay provoke attacks May experience learning and attention May experience learning and attention

problemsproblems May look as if he/she is a bully because May look as if he/she is a bully because

they tend to maintain conflictthey tend to maintain conflict

BystanderBystander

Is afraid of associating with the victim for Is afraid of associating with the victim for fear the bully will turn on themfear the bully will turn on them

Wants to help but doesn’t know what to doWants to help but doesn’t know what to do Feels guilty for not actingFeels guilty for not acting Fears reporting will make him a tattlerFears reporting will make him a tattler Doesn’t like what he sees, but feels Doesn’t like what he sees, but feels

powerlesspowerless Feels unsafe and unable to take actionFeels unsafe and unable to take action Feels a loss of controlFeels a loss of control

BYSTANDERS

Most ignored and underused resource in our schools 85% of a school population – the “silent majority” Become desensitized over time – diminished empathy

Silent Majority

CARING COMMUNITY

Caring Majority

WHY DON’T THEY GET INVOLVED?

Fear of retaliation Don’t know what to do Afraid they’ll make things worse Worry about losing social status Don’t believe that adults will help

Normalize fears and worries

Emphasize strength in numbers

Communicate the expectation to take action

Teach skills and strategies to take a stand

Acknowledge and reward caring behaviors

Strategies for Bystanders

Did You Know?Did You Know? By 6 weeks into the school year the bully By 6 weeks into the school year the bully

victim patterns have been established.victim patterns have been established. Physical bullying increases through the Physical bullying increases through the

elementary years and peaks in Middle elementary years and peaks in Middle School.School.

Children do not tell on bullies because they Children do not tell on bullies because they are afraid it will get worse.They feel no one are afraid it will get worse.They feel no one can help them if they do.can help them if they do.

Bullying can take no longer than 10 seconds. Bullying can take no longer than 10 seconds. Bullying can be disguised as playing.Bullying can be disguised as playing. The single most effective deterrent to The single most effective deterrent to

bullying is adult authority.bullying is adult authority.

Why Make Changes?Why Make Changes? An estimated 160,000 students miss school An estimated 160,000 students miss school

each day because of fear of bullying.each day because of fear of bullying. 40% of students are bullies or victims.40% of students are bullies or victims. Long term victims may develop mental and Long term victims may develop mental and

health issues.health issues. Bullying is an entry level to violence.Bullying is an entry level to violence. 60% of bullies have criminal convictions by 60% of bullies have criminal convictions by

age 24.age 24. School shootings have been linked with School shootings have been linked with

bullying problems.bullying problems.

Purpose of Bully ProofingPurpose of Bully Proofing

Safe respectful cooperative schools

Higher incidence of academic/social learning and teaching

Improve teacher morale, sense of effectiveness and empowerment

System-wide message about intolerance for bullying

Change the balance of power so silent majority becomes an empowered caring majority

All students have an opportunity to experience power, control, attention, popularity, value and influence in ways that enhance academic/social learning and teaching.

What have we done at What have we done at Waterman?Waterman?

Awareness for Parents in Newsletters.Awareness for Parents in Newsletters. Began 2 new units in grades 3 & 4Began 2 new units in grades 3 & 4 Adding lessons to other units- friendshipAdding lessons to other units- friendship Faculty awareness Faculty awareness Bully Free posters displayedBully Free posters displayed Character Education CommitteeCharacter Education Committee Day-long work shop on BullyingDay-long work shop on Bullying Bully Assembly for studentsBully Assembly for students Parent, Student, and Teacher surveysParent, Student, and Teacher surveys

What can teachers do? What can teachers do? (preventive)(preventive)

Provide students opportunity to talk about Provide students opportunity to talk about bullying and provide safe ways to report.bullying and provide safe ways to report.

Include classroom rules against bullying.Include classroom rules against bullying. Enlist their support in defining bullying as Enlist their support in defining bullying as

unacceptable for our school.unacceptable for our school. Develop a classroom action plan to ensure that Develop a classroom action plan to ensure that

students know what to do when they observe a students know what to do when they observe a situation.situation.

Provide classroom activities and discussion Provide classroom activities and discussion about bullying.about bullying.

Focus on developing empathy and respect for Focus on developing empathy and respect for othersothers

Work on friendship, assertive and mediation skills.Work on friendship, assertive and mediation skills.

What can teachers do? What can teachers do? (action)(action)

Take immediate action when bullying is observed. Take immediate action when bullying is observed. Confront bullies in private. Confront bullies in private. Use a discipline referral and note bullying Use a discipline referral and note bullying

behavior in the report.behavior in the report. Notify parents of victims and bullies when a Notify parents of victims and bullies when a

problem occurs. problem occurs. Refer both the victim and bullies for counseling.Refer both the victim and bullies for counseling. Provide protection for bullying victims. This may Provide protection for bullying victims. This may

include a buddy system, extra supervision at include a buddy system, extra supervision at noted area of concerns. noted area of concerns.

Listen to parents who report bullying.Listen to parents who report bullying. Avoid using mediation due to imbalance of power.Avoid using mediation due to imbalance of power.

Things We Are Things We Are TeachingTeaching

Normal vs. bullyingNormal vs. bullying

HA HA SoHA HA So

Telling vs. TattlingTelling vs. Tattling

Normal Conflict VS. Bullying

equal power-friends imbalance of power - not friends

happens occasionally repeated negative actions

accidental purposeful

not serious serious- threat of physical emotional or psychological harm or hurt

equal emotional reaction emotional reactance on part of the victim

not seeking power or attention seeking power, control

not trying to get something gain material things or power

remorse - take responsibility no remorse - blames victim

effort to solve the problem no effort to solve problem

HA HA SO

H – HelpA – Assert yourself

H – HumorA – Avoid

S – Self-TalkO – Own It

HA HA SO

H – HelpA – Assert yourself

H – HumorA – Avoid

S – Self-TalkO – Own It

Tattling Telling

purpose is to get vs. purpose is to keep people safesomeone in trouble

can handle by self vs. need help from an adult to solve

unimportant vs. important

harmless vs. harmful or dangerous physically or psychologically

behavior is accidental vs. behavior is purposeful

What Parents Can What Parents Can Do?Do?

What to look forWhat to look for

Steps to bully proof your childSteps to bully proof your child

If your child is a victimIf your child is a victim

If your child is a bullyIf your child is a bully

What To Look ForWhat To Look For

Excuses for not wanting to come to schoolExcuses for not wanting to come to school Unexplained bruises, torn clothesUnexplained bruises, torn clothes Loss of appetite / hungry after schoolLoss of appetite / hungry after school Need for extra school supplies or moneyNeed for extra school supplies or money Sleep problemsSleep problems Secretive/sullen/ temper outburstSecretive/sullen/ temper outburst Rushes to bathroom when arriving homeRushes to bathroom when arriving home Frequent trips to the nurseFrequent trips to the nurse

Steps to Bully-Proof Your Steps to Bully-Proof Your ChildChild

Let the school know your concernsLet the school know your concerns Keep a record of eventsKeep a record of events Teach your child self respect, assertivenessTeach your child self respect, assertiveness Let your child know it is ok to express anger Let your child know it is ok to express anger

appropriatelyappropriately Encourage FriendshipsEncourage Friendships Teach social skills (sharing, compromises, Teach social skills (sharing, compromises,

apologies, I messages, )apologies, I messages, ) Encourage telling vs. tattlingEncourage telling vs. tattling Don’t advise ignoring or attacking the bullyDon’t advise ignoring or attacking the bully

What if your child is the What if your child is the bully?bully?

Evaluate if this behavior is being Evaluate if this behavior is being modeled at home- seek counselingmodeled at home- seek counseling

Do not use physical punishment , or Do not use physical punishment , or humiliation. Instead remove privilegeshumiliation. Instead remove privileges

Provide parental supervisionProvide parental supervision Put an immediate stop to any bullying Put an immediate stop to any bullying

you observeyou observe Emphasize praise and positive rewardsEmphasize praise and positive rewards

BULLIES

Lose power position Fewer behavior problems Change in thinking errors May stay out of criminal justice system later in life Some become positive leaders in peer group

TEACHERS/STAFF

Fewer behavior management problems Shared responsibility Increased awareness of peer conflict vs. bully-victim incidents Stronger conflict resolution skills Knowledge of own conflict styles

VICTIMS

Decreased vulnerability Greater self-esteem More friends Protected by staff Decreased self-blame Less risk of repeated victimization

CARING MAJORITY OF STUDENTS

Recognition for altruistic behavior Empowered to affect change Increased moral development and reasoning More empathy and compassion for others

PARENTAL COMMUNITY

Sense of security Responsiveness from school Mutuality in reinforcing good values Sense of community within the school

SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT

Overall sense of caring Safety and protection Respect for diversity Shared responsibility – everyone helps to maintain no-bullying values