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strffig& tr#s#werlt !rrrt lrer SOtE{t} ;r{id spent a few mi}nt[]5 v*&l[Jilt*t 'E^ing *shuman rigl-rts *bs*rvers and theer or"l drinking-14r'a{e!"c*ns{r'uction prt{ects in a paE"t sf the cccintr3' {il;lf haq* g$$lein{r: arrned re}:el}ion agailrst t}re &4e.qic*n g$1/er-fiH}e&t' g{}r-etrosflect, as a clueless kid in a !val-zorle lvha cor"lldn'tspeak the local langu;lge and had all ttre cofilmon sense of.your average teenage pttnk {-CIcker, I probably desenved tor,vind tlp in $srne se{'{ ofl pris*m r:e- tvstrse" Btlt that dicl n$ttrappen. {ndee{*, { gcr{ a new. lease *n iife.

,{!tli*ugh ['al ]reen ara activist arad had sclne pcii{icalheliefs, *r*stly rippecl frcrn Fretn:aga*dfii t3'-rics nr thevaric*s h{ax'xist pamphiet ['d {*ave fying anound {&y rs$st{* scare ft}y g}arents" going ts Mesic* ;ans$ w'ifnessinggenuin* social stnuggie s.slade a big iunpressi*n st] rne. A[ arlage r+'he* t mighet filsre sensihly laave be*c? gett *g a nlcearseless liberal arts c*l{ege degree, { lvas irestead pirkingc*rn igl a village with fu{ayar* peasarats lvhc had chased off{lrcir **ra| };rftdswner' ',q.'i{h gutrs ;Es}d t}"}n flacei{ dcwn t$re

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W8ren tr rv;rs $9 I spei-a{ haB$ a yeen trave$ing ;lr*undMexica with a frieeld. I spcke ss litt{e Spaaaish then {?l;ltla'tlera varic*s anai*r everlts *f all*ri*rl.l Mexir;an fuist*rywculd happen arsilnd us. I bare?y u*eiers{r:sr.i m."ir"tt ryashappexixeg, much tress {he *ppcrt*xti{ies aard d-ar:gee-s wer.vere exg*csir-rg *ursetrves t*. L-ike,lve r,vere in &{e.uic* Cinyw'fuen the s{{.ederets *f &4exiilcJ'suniversitv sv:;ters s.n'ent cu{o* strike'aaad *ccr-rpied their *carilpuses and buildings"Sparn and I had nret som1str:den{s and needed a piaceto stay. tr could vaguelv figureout that tl.ley rvere *ff'ering alsa place to crash, and as w'emade ouil way overLrarricaries anr} past miii{arycheckpaints in{o a rnassivecr:ilege r*arplex that hadcieariy heen recently f;:kenover by flrlrce drrring a vi*lenlprcte-st. it !"rr:gan {*r dar,vn onruc {h;et s*m*{l"ling hlg t}aat I .irir{ic-}n't etreclenstand lv;as y*t*iazg'::,;:''t&;it:tt tlgtr'tl, ;tltcl illilybr'r tr Eli**ltl ,,i't:x,h.:-r.lr: 3iu1s,:r'l*s, t* {l:*se ;re.lriirti;l llgr,r;lgt'r [r:;t r*i rlg fl t3riE{:] { I {}slmfci*:r lri{tin,q {itq: r"txlci. :ts if {ha.t rv'irstl't r'lltt:ttX4ft. ;;[t.tx' ;,1srriu{}r *t living irusirl*: lir* {jH,&M *{urtr*:tll. stt'ih* t:f"-{.}ii, lvt'l

" We got drunk with some hookers at our hotel bar, andthen wound up having a fistfight with each other in ourhotel room in which the only things that got brokenwere my glasses, a wooden table and our dignity."

lt was rn"y college.

'l-his year" rny twenties are conring to an end. And so, itrnoukl seeul" is the dream of L.atin Amenican sor;ialism aswell. What CInce looked like an inevitable tide of revolutionhas been decisively defeated * in part hry {"J3-backeddictators anrl cleath squarls, but also by Coca*Ccla er.ncl &tTV,eEer:toral ref'*r'misrtr ancl political reality. Mq:st countriesd*w'll ttrere totlay lrave treft*Ieaning gCIvernrnents, krr."lt none*f'theln are ahout to kill {he bourgeoisie arid erubark on

making a utcpian society.This seenrs like a fitting realization to d;rwn on nle as

rlly olvn revolutionary twenties draws to a close - you wakeup one day ter find yourself kind of an old rnan, a unionI:ureaucrat, an aging poli{ico with biils to pay who rnosttikety ivitrl not be rnemorializectr by stattee on plaque in apost-revolutionary workers'paractise in the future. So as afarewetrl present anrJ fond goor{bye to a fun but ultirnatelyfruitless decade spent enthralled by thre dreatn of Latin.&rnerican socialisnre, { decided {his year to rnake o{}e rnorevisit south of the border, to the last rernaining holdsutagainst the capitalis{ tieXe of prcgress.

Cuba - the rCIgue state 90 rniles south sf'Miarni, defyingand infuriating Yankee irnperialists f'or half a century madeCuba {hre first {and, ultimatetry, last} socia}ist state in t}rervestern hernisphere. As far as I coutrd tell, the Cqibans*cialist gCIvernment was on its last legs - a totteringecCI{}c}my and a decrepit p*litical dictat*rship that, fon all itsmerits, was pr*bably not going to survive much l*nger nowthat fridel Castro had terminal cancer. tr wanted to see ttbtfcre i{ was gCIr}e. The nevoh-r{icnary }irn of his 20s" andtlae e'evclutionany dream cf Latin America, slowly ccnring tca {:lose, having sne last er}core on reuarinn {ogetllen. Myl:*usenrate Eriarr saic}, "i-{el} yeah, Cntrirnlbtrs sucks inFel-x-uary fir]],bv;r,v"'" and a rn;igaein* writer frienr] of *trnsn;rr*sd Aareler i*ined up ;;n lq'e$l. Ttrr-ee ;rgir:g pr"ulks orrv;lca{i** in th* w*rk*fs" paradise. saying fuilelw:ll 1* ttlt:rdli{u# sta{e bcf*lr thc gcvernryr*nt {alls and tlre Mianrir:xiles r-efurn.

ll's ttc?rnic;*lly,' illeg;-rl f*r dsxr*e'it:a** fs"r visi? L}"rh;e" $* yeiulu:lvt: t* g* {r: Li*r.rthern h4*.xir:* f irsf, llt"l{.1 t}}{*i fly *v*r fr.rl{ar'l;r-ra {r-*rn t$"1*:r'e.'l'hc} {.il};an r:rrs{tllns p**g:lt': krrrlw crl}{ ls:s{;lnegr.1,'{}{Ir gr;essp:*i'tr, r.;c:;rll v*n r'*:*lly ltelvcr 1{} lv{}r'ilv'afi*utis ihsl p:l;.nl*s {htln-rstrlvex. &4;rny l{igfrts {* Culu,r *n *k}Sr:liir,r{ q:rr;r ;,lirr;r';lf{ ;ers: nq:t *luacLiy rrp t# &ffieriql;e* s;lfl,rt-vc-:$**,1$" ;l:td ;iis{} riglflf "willpg ;rr*xi-{J;rstl'* $.r:rr"*r-is{s st-lpgr*llr::d*:1, *rrr'$*r]r-rlr"rrry)**t ll;:vr;r hElen krrctrvrr tr* blr:ev erg: f'li54lltx i*ttlFl;av;ln;r, Lik"* l\t;tl tirlrE: ilr {$l* ?{ls l}rs,:v kitrl#r! ;* 3:[;:ne,: TmLl tst{-rrirasr ttt:rurg*l 'x rvilh a pi;rnttlrf }:*nrh {tlrz{zxt iSrtr ' l ' futltwt.x'st ;:\t.l^ *fi';,lii'liucl tt:.t"r*t"i*tyr itr tht.l ltx.i:r'eli*tr:tlr,::tt:t gtt't*r tt 1J"11

was ac{ually funded and suglporter} lry our fdovernmsnt!}"Anyways, orltr flight r,vas fine, althougtr Sri;-rn's dir{y andclamaged passpCIrts bl'ir:{}y gave Ctrhan sectenity sornecCIncet'xls [h;rt rve migtrt be CIA spies (a sec;cnd laCIk;rt nnrriirty. disheveled clotl"ring rnust leave assur-ed {}rern that itwe were indeed spies, it cor.rkl only be for a truly failedc*untrv* of no threat to them).

We traveled arounetr Cuba fbr the better part a{';l lnontrh-going to Cienfuegos. l'rinidad anqi Santa Clara hut spendinl4rn*st of our time in l{avana" Which, by the way, is t}re

coCIlest city I'r'e ever been to. trrnagine an incredibly ornate,beautiful cXd mansiol-r, abandoned and left to rot anddecornpose for decades. Now irnagine that rnansion is anentire city, anri inlrabited hy the cocles{ five neillion peoplein thee hemrisptrere. ,A, visit t$ any foneign country revealsvarious colorful cultural eccentricities. but Cirba takes it to{hee extreme. For instance, arffi n-atin American countrieshave tons of s{ray dogs tryixrg to survive on []re sfreet * br:tin Cuba, for reasons that remain rnysteri*us, all the straydogs are tiny breeds, wieerer dogs m*stiy. Another {hing:Cubans love baseball. so much so {Frat there is all entirepark in downtown [{avana, that all day and night is filledwith hundreds of Cuban Enen, who come there specificallyto debate anct argue abor.lt ttre local basebaltr league wi{heach other. When you first see it, it looks }ike a srnall riot isabout to ttrrn yiolent, dozens of rnen screaming at eachothler, shaking fists and waving arms - but this is just theirvension of sports talk radio. Screaming sports fans. stan,inglviener dogs, classic 50s cars, cnurnbling mansi*ns,governrnent-sponsored anti*imperialist rallies, t*ns of icecream but no vegetables, anrtr a multi-racial society thatseems almost irnpossrbly diverse and integrated - Cuba's alteltr of a sighl.

I guess what eveilyCIn wants tc knorv is, ilr:w hass*cialism rvcrked *ut {br tLre tuha*s. It's abcl:t r+,hat y*urq'*nkl expec{. iln t}"lel *ne !ra*d, Cuba tras better pt*licservices tl"lan tl're res{ sf La.ticl r\trreriq;;l - {*6r*nr:tchhealtl"rcars" eclarca{irln ;lnd spr:r"ts iar:ilifies, and a s*r:ials;:filty net that preivides ;r b;lsic st;lsrr!;rrtl of living t* everyC*ban. Cuba is lh*: i:**{ plar:* !n l.atin ,4*rr:rit;a to bc potlr,tluet's fqlr sur"c. But *n tlr* *ther ha*d, sclr:i;)lisrn l'l;ls ximp;ly{aikx! {* r:rs;:te ,:lny ra'*:;llth"^fhq:ir eu#r}{}r:}y is ri*ing a li{tle:lmtfe:r tslal;ry tlurn it w;rs in thr: cl;lrk days *f th* *arly Q0s,a{'tr:r lNle c*lla6:s* *f tlr*,: $*vi*t tlnion {th*n {.r.rhil's rnninr$alglrr" tl*ddy] yslu*,a.t:r.1 {l'ls:ra,r in{* ihe,l d;lrh {:}FI{r$ in a sur{ef**;,ertd cll;u:tic w;l--v. I':ilr *v*r';11tr, thr:r'* iu very lit{le rniltt:r'i;lln"vq:;alih ll"rr:c"r:. I k**r+' plc*l,v r.lf l-rig:6ricx wh* r*i6gfut thisrh {fintx*frilcJs jlrx{ f in

irave errough fbreign exchange rurrency to buy vegetablesto f'eed the isiand. The foocl is withrout a doubt the rvorst Itrave ever experienced.

I'owards the end of, our month there I was experiencingwhat I carne to call vegetable madness, a state of delirir.rrncaused by not eating anything green for too weeks in arow. I started trying to bribe wairers tcr bring me an extratomato or wlratever, and they would laugh in nry face"',Nohav, no hav, loco." This paradox betlveen a ftrnctionalwel{'are state that keeps people edr.rcated, heal{hy andscure, and an econorny so prirnitive you don't get enoughtc eat on a regular basis is reflected in a popular ioke inFtravana. -'what are the accornplishrrnents cf the revorution?Flealtlrcare, education and sports. sfhat are llre failnres ofthe revolution? tsreakfast, lunch and dinner." Hopefullywhen lrirtel finally kicks the bucket, his brcttrer Raul will beable to inlplerulent sorne rnarket neforms in partnership withthe Chinese governrnent aimed at s{irnulating someeconomic growth, Betrieve rne, as a longtime lefty who hatescapitalism anctr the rich l do not like admitting that there aresome good things atiout free markets and econornic growttr.But rvhat can I say? Vegetable rnadness is no fun, people. Asociety either produces rvealth or it starves. Most cubansseem to rryant ttre forrner.

Overall, ['d have to say that I gof a n]rlr.e favsrableimpression of the Cuban system than I expected. We rnetmany penple, over and over", who told us that they likedtheir systern and ttrought it would last. A gcod exarnpre ofthe sort of thing the cuban governrnent does a gocd lob atis public safety. tr've been almost everywhere in LatinArnerica, ancl almost been rnurdered a few tirnes and I cansay without a rloubt that Cuba is the saf'est place in theentire ccntinent. There is almost n* l,iolent cr:irne. Tlris is aresult of both good and bad things, br:t it iust reinforces theoverall feeling of stability ancl security tlult Cuban socialisnr

provides. Safe streets are no small accornplishment ifi thatpart of the world - if you look at opininn polls af LatinAmerican countries, the biggest ccmplaint is the extremelyhigh levels nf violent crirne. Indeed, Mexico is at thismoment engaged in a civil war betlveen its drug cartelsand its g{rycr{}m*:nt. whic}r the government is losing,because the cartels c*ntrol a plood chunk cf thegoverrlillent. Ileadless hcelies in the strclel ansl cons{arutkidnappings are nn fun, and they're als* prcbably nevergoing ilway in Mexico, because o{}ce your palir:e anrl arrnyget ccmprnmised and turned irrto a crirninal drug gang,they become very hard to clean up. Cutra'on {he o{helhand? When they first discfiver*d evidence a couple *f theirsenior rnilitary figures had becorne cornplicit with clnrgsxtuggiing. ttre govelnfilent maele them ap*trogir.e orrtelevision and then executert them. Norry f&a/b a countrythat intends tn keep drug violence away from its people.

We had a lot of fun in Cuba. We went 1o all snr'ts of cooluluseums about different aspects of the revolutisn ancltheir society {w}iich our c}reapskate rnagazine writer friendrvas always trying t* rip ofl shcplifting frorn gift stores andother smart. atlryrirable behravior like that). We did some bikeriding, beach ctrilling, hiking and exploring. We trung out ina punklgay bar in Santa Clara on drag queen nigtrt,drinking bathtub rum frorn refilled olcl bottles r.vith thehottest !trromen on earth, i.e. gay Cr-rban cross*elressing rnen.I took a lot of pictur-es. Brian ate a lot of vile street food.Aaron tried to chisel a lot of poor people.

We hrappened to be in l-{avana on Valen{ines Say" Wewere missing girls back horne, and in Cuba it's hard to useernail and impossible to call ,America. 5o, we did the naturalthing: We got drunk with some lrookers at our hotel bar,and then wcund up having a fistfight with each other inpur hotel room in which the only things that got brokenwere my glasses, a wooden table and our dignity. Such is

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the trarreling [ife. The rnorning after ttrese events {he threeof us had various states of hangovers and injury, and I wasnewly blind. We were planning to catch a train to anothercity, and we lirnped and dragged our carcasses to multipletrain station, but the train had already left. Or maybe it wasnot leaving at all? Or perhaps we, as f'oreigners, were notaltowed to ride these trains? $lrnuld there be another train?Yes, some sairl. No, other schedules clairned. &{aybe, perhaps,wfro the fuck knows. Confusion reigned sug:reme at everytrain statiCIn in tr-{avana. It ycu ever r,vant a good critique ofsccialism in practice, visit a Cuban train station. Ancl if youever want a gootl critique of .yourselfl visit one whilehungover and sore the day after you and a good friencltried to drunkenly murder each other over a p;rir of brokenglasses in a dingy hotel rCIofil.

I rernernber looking around that rnorning, at theridiculously non-functional train stalion, and at the three eifus, looking somehow dirtier and mcre pathetic than eventhe starving stray wiemer dogs atrl around. It occurred to methat me and rny friends'twenties had been like the Cubanexperiment with socialism itself * inspireel by noble icleas,but had not worked out as planned or troped, but ultirnatelya worthwhile ride. I originally came to Cuba ttrinking thatiust as rny twenties were about to end, so was rny faith inrevolution anctr the Cuban socialist government about to endas well" After experiencing Cuba I am having secondthougtrts. Ferhaps rny idealism will stick anound anothertlecade after all. And maybe the Cr.rban workers' paradise,that rogue state cunsing at us frorn just 90 rniles south ofFlcricla, will last a bit longer as well.

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JRidiculous horror movie

*si:*il*rs in**irqic}d*

Ok. I have sern way above rny share of goofy, ridiculous, funny and bloody moviet but this is for sure a 9.5 lO in all of rhosetields, ll points in ttre blood field. I don'l know what it is ]yith lapalese pople bul sorns of 0reir movies gel goofy as fuck- It'soverloaded with gor-e, but ir the same style as "Dead Alive," wherc rnosl of it is so ol/er the top and bloody thal you cant helpbu1 laugh your ass olT aboul inslead of feel bad for people.

The basic plot of 'Tokyo Gore Police" (without spoiling the movie more than I am in the review) is a mad scientist makes avirus and spreads it across the nation, a virus which makes you homicidal with rabies type stuff. Sounds like a normal movieright? Hell IIo! As soon as these "engineers" (the people ilfected with the virus] have a limb ripped/blew/cut olT or a receive amiior wound an odd weapon grows in it's place. There is a guy with a chainsaw hand after his arm is ripped ofli a guy withguns for eyes (and an exposed brain), oh yeah, and this crealion here, which I could never see being done by anyone otherthan the lapanese.

On ll"re gCIre factor this movie has tons,rvci{'d -ass special costumes hased off reallyfir really good drugs, {:Gstume$ Iike these:

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Of course there has 10 be a hero involvcrt, all atlractive Asian woman in a short skirt who is manic depressive and slils.lrerwrists ihe entire movie (which is really the only gore in the movie th'1t made me cringe). For some reason a small chunk of thismovie glamoriz.es slitling your wrist. Anyway, she runs amund 'lbkyo dressed as a prostitute lrying ro calch the bad guy, wlro iskilling tlimps, whores and iohils all over'l'*kyo. Shr: tras a swCIrd hidden in her umbrella.

A.s fbr any ovcr tlre tnpgore-horror f'lick, tlrere illltst tre a nrassacre at ttre end, and there's a hell of aof this: Private copri killing fvrll/ citiz-en in the city to etlsure thel-e are tlo engiueers to hrrrt citizens. Olt,wfirn;*n's ;lrnrs and legs learing her apart.

For sur:h a ritliculous novie it actually delves prelty deep in the story and sticks to the plot prelly well, for some reason.if you are into blood, guls, r:hir;ks with alligators for legs, e.vil cops, sword fighls and tumors, this is totally tho utovie for you.You can watch it streaming online at www.asian-horror-movie.com/tgp.php (which is an amazing websile by the way).l\,latt Tald raring:8rl0, bitchirr'.

6

tons and more tons. I-ike I said, think "Dead Alive"" 'l'trere are also really surreallidicslous ideas yorr can really orlly come up with if you have really'had problems

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lly Cru |ones

Ir airl't DIY but it was free and it's not like we'll be buyingany of tllose cars that look like they have Down Symdrone'

Someone asked why lvould Scion sponsor a metal festival?It m;rkes sense demographicatly. Most of those attending werewhite, ntale, educated ald have or lvill have money one day.

Well, either that ar solneone in Toyota's marketingdepartment just really likes rnetal.

Prior to the festival my friends dicln't know what to think.Should we support a corporation like'l'oyota? Will we have toput up with tons of advertisernents? Hell, we dicln't even knowif we'd get in trecause cur free tickets cail]e with a warning thatsaid "arrive early, no adnnission guaranteed."

Everything from the f'ree shuttle that ran between theNewport/Bernies to Circuslskully's, will call ticket pickup, andthe bands (big name vs. local, good variety, decent sound), wentabout as well as you could exPect.

Still, we're not buying one of those stupid-looking cars.

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Banned beersI ly Anthony1I 8in Bo$ larf playe.l a show at n lrar ttlr Parsnrrs. lwas rlropped off in the;rlk:ys sornewherc ofl l|rytlen 10 finish lhe B[s{jhI talllxrv my older brother gave rne (l didn't warlt to drink it in the car). I lell rny br{}ll}ors. onc who pronisr:d to see me later atI the show wilh some girl. I went insidc and mel up with Max's parents who ponl cd me ba'el fi'orn their piichor. I had money butI l lost rny ll) somewhere. I sal wilh .lohn and drank the beer Max's dad galc hirn. Vhat a nico guy-I "Who a{c we playing wilh.l: "t.. doril even know, mal. Some pop prnk shit from oul of town or somelhing."J 'Oh, cool. We w$n't sound anything like them." The bal. was "paying" us in free beers, so I asked Max lo gtlt mine. IleI was hesitant, because he s

sttlr,y and I lrr:iir,:vcd [l]nr tnr:, bet;lrusc lre really i.s a t:t'ar"yrntltflrrrfur;kcr. We ptr;r,-'rld the strrnri after t[rat antt it sirched, ilrs';is really lame. lW3' hrurlr*:r did his ir-ecstylc br"rt y*rt cctrkln'fIu,r;rr it uvtx' the guit;.1r. uf {:*r^u';*. X kicked hinr olT *l t}rt s{;rgr:*fter a wirile. Af'ter th* sht:ra', Mux anrl fohn i*{'t t*gr:tl:er in.$t:rrrf'.r]*r* t:lsr's van that fchn lultl hnrr*rveq.l" ,\t3' br'*fh*r, tlrisgia{ ;xrei I u'tr"c sl"rpg:*sed ftl g*t ;l ride {r*ut tn,t' cttttsirr, btrt nrc:didn't ;ln$\,$el. his n:l"rnne and is rtctr.il'i*r.ni l*r ditr;lii*g. Iltlriitch*d my hr'*llrqrr :llt*r th*-y" tliri sr:nre':lhing illttg;:l ierst twr:da,v.x befbre" &{,v brr:tlx:r' rvils tlt.{t:rnrined ilrr* fliis girl lu'lsrvhilrinSX ilb*ut lvalking l:aek trl th* s*ulh cnd. It wasn'l th*t bi"11*L ;l rvalk, re*ll.v, **ly ahcut tlqr* antl a half v*iles in ;: x{i';lightline *n sitklwalk. tle {*ld us tc rvait cutside asxl rvlterr I r.vasrclling this guy ;lbout why sr:rr:anrirrg vr:cals weren't as trite antlstuJ:id as o;lrlra v*citls t:yer guitar., my br*llrer cilrne backoutside. When he rvas in [frere ]rt: distracted tlris st;,llf persr]r]ar:d lvlrile shfl lvasn't lonking he tnak everything ttrat rv;ls in {ltet*p drawcr uf their {ncl bcr whiclt rvas bar:kst;rge" F{e trad apair af Vise grip pliers, ;l file and a couple of big lls( hc;:dsrrE:wdriver$, l?e rvaited sn the sielewalk outsirle *f the barwhile he lvent lo steal fhe car that was parked next t* it, Bel'r:rehe got it starterl ;r cop rolled dorvn Parsans and tapped hisbreaks right outside af tlle bar" Me and this girl stared at tl"recop and lve lvere sure we were going to go to jail. 'l'he cclprolled r:n and we were safe, we thought. My trrotlrer appearedfrcrn arsund the corner later, spitting crushed saf'ety glass andpulling it [l-om his pockets. I never even heard the windowbreak"

"You see that? Shit, I threw the screwdrivers up on the[-{e didn't see rne or he would have stopped. T}iat r,vas tltehardest colurnn to peel ever!"We only had ta walk to German Village when my brother calledhis stepdad and he picked us up. F-le was still pulling glass frornhis trrockets and I still couldn't rernember ever hearing awind*w break.

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" WE$COMIC" t{}ntinued fi'om page 16...!F: Ftrave y*u tried tr: ptrslr ttee strip int* tl'r*se venus a?. all?

ffi#: I've irad very little $qxtcess at tryi*g t* push rxry way innxrywhere. I'd rather spenci ti"lat {irne working cn ttle ccuricrs.

$F: What is intriguing abeiut {he cc}rnic $tri$} as a f$rrxlat?

*6: N* csre takes it s*ricusly"

$F: Because all they ran see is the trnditirur;il grernmer clf ig?

ffiS: fven rvhe:-r corrrics {rar:scenderl leiw al't f* bec*nle Mausand Kun t?ege |r, {he csrnic *{r'ip with the gag at {he end stayedbehind.

!F: Why dtl you thirrk that is?

SG: i rl*n't k*urv. btrt I like it.

$F: Is that akin to the snusic ?he Basement Apar-tments does'l

SG: The $a$Ie is true wittr everything I make.

!F: Cor.rid you get away with saying the same thirrgs i* Cat andGlrJ with*ut having a humsr"sris veneer to it?

*&: t had an English teacher in high schc*l who told {I}e mywriting would be bet{q:r if I wasn't trry'ing to be funny. But thefr.rnny parts r&'ere d"re point, arud are the point * ttre rest of thecontent is iust the chewimg hum that holds it tagether.

$F: Who h*s, tr gue$s, "infqrrr,led" y*u hur*cr?

ffi#: fo{att Groening, Nathalriel West, newspaper coxnics, "Rttoda,"|*ten Waters and Euro{.}ean fiistnry.

$F: So you hang *ut witir slther pe*ple rvleo rnake c*mics?

33#: I have a fr"ie*r} whs] xrifi'kes cnr*ics. W* see eactr stll*ri:ecause *ur ha*rds play togcther-. { r!*n't r*ally traxtg *r"rt withother pe*ple whu make cerrnics lust br:c;mse they make cornics.

$F: ,Are rlrene peclple yolr {rr:residen trl h* pleers?

*#: *th*r p*elpll* rvB:* c*a-alv ilclxslics cln thc trntr:rlte{, I guess.f}**ple ;*s:l*ili;)le:ql wi{h th* Tr:g*a{ur* rvehslt*, tlarntgh I c*nxirierxll *f t*x*xc: p**6rl* f'rrffi degr**ls rr;*re pur:flessir'll {han X arn {amddsscr^s'eclly s*,}.

$F: trVh;rt e3* y** $:nv* t* elcal wlfh {*c}tnic*l}y in publisht*g ar*rnir; strip rslr't ttt* trtrternxrt? Ar"r t*r*:rt: n:allrlwidtfi rrenc*r$ls {x"alp*n{ing {^:#{?{:*}:}}s? {}r. ;ar* th*:r'* g:r'*}:i*ms with tlt* sqlrvic;*g:rciviti*r'l

ffiffi:'lh* f*w firnr.,rs fi:*rtElrryiqnth h&s hc:r:$ill*;trr is*ue l3r*;lnatr*s{Ilxs k*a:l'r v*ry k"i*d" t* x*s"r. fu{$*{ clf'qh* h:r:h*ir:;rtr ixsx*ls i havet*t* 1z.tsl. - atry:*rnir;*l i$s*t:s" l.*sr r'*r*nth ia lVei:"tlpx"*xs t"tyirn*t*etrrl*rt in ;ln {}I-r"t}r, anel sttdriexltr? ft d;etnhms* was nlisslnp;. Ikn*w ****gh xfu*uf l*:t;furlic;*l issu*s l* *r;rke rxys*}f respi*.lrrxi3:l*f*lr tfreffi. hu{ fic}{ en*t'lgfl tfaa{ if r}**sn't {xke; rit# *ntil't:ly l*nl*ng,}ff: Wr:r* y*u ;:ltrr:*;.tt|y am:t*xfq"rn:t':rJ f* th;lt {;*g:*:l *['f

$F: So even though you are making products /brancl/etc yorl still "feel bet{er" than the alteppative?

ffiG: No, not at all.

$F: |ust a rli lemrna then?

DG: I'm willing to sell people stuff they don't need if it means I can get by on a day-to-day basis. I can hope that Iin srrbstituringmy sluff for someone else's sluff and not increasing the sum tolal of stuff in the world, but I don't know.

lP: Vere you surprised by the demand for "stuff' besides your book?

DG: There's not a huge demand, and what there is had Lreen growing very slowly. (At least until the economic collapse of theworld, when {hat stopped.)

fP: I say surprised because Cat and Girl has a strong feel of capitalist critique to it, so maybe sorneone who liked it a lot wouldnol necessarily want to buy it. Are you able to live off of that demand even thotrgh it is not huge? Or do you have to supplemenlir?

DG: I wash my clothes in the sink, but I do make a living from comics.

IF: Is that about rhenormal situation fbr amore popular webcomic?

DG: The few times I'vei-ead about peopledetermined to make aliving rnaking theirwebcomic, they usuall.yhave a goal in mind- an amount of moneY peryear that will allow themto leave their job. Thisamount is always morethan I have evermade. (These aren't peoplelvith unrealistic notions *they are people who haveaccomplished their goal.)

|F: Sort of off topic: Wereyau doing zines beforeyour friend suggestedwebcomics?

SS: I was pril]{ing cfixi}ics riut at a cCImputer lab and pasting t}rem up ar'ound town,

$F: *id y$u feel c$rlrlec{ed to'"zine ci*ti}r's."i

a$pects *f that {;ul[{Jre * thre lrand*rad* r:p:li[ar:t,

* br-rt thery h*th c*g*nder a l{it *f niche t*pir,, *iit

$G: {i;irner-s v*rsrrs v{.lg;e{}$ rvit}a fuic-'icfes"

$P: tinattll*tic;.!l;ifil{: l* fut: r*Jc-{:. tf*s {,af "zt}d {;irl brNlnSuhversivt: Onli ne Car-t*on i,sts'/

SG: Nope.

antlrol*gizt:d firr{side *{ fhe h*tlk 'l'*d lt;lll r]{iife{t, Attitutk: .:l:'l'hilj N**.v

S#: The first fwo {at and Sirf pa&lic,alies}s w*{'e lirttr{,: zir}es, and I liked fi!;trlyth*l persnilatr cern{nur}icatisn - but I never ir*t $ikei a F}firt #f ir"iF: [t $eems ]ik* rvelm*rfti{j$ slurre a lllt with aines trite *hs*rv;,rtielfi. f gucs$ctxlcc{"r}9.

15

Cats, girls and webcomicsAn interview with Dorothy GambrellDorothy Gambrell is the creator of 1he long running and overly educated webcomic titled Cat and Girl that successlullyslraddles the line belween knock-knock ioke and philosophical dialogue. Gambrell also produces humorous/sad infographics atverysmallarray.com, keeps an ongoing document of how she spends other people's money at Donation Derby and made anoltrerstrip (now dead) called "The New Adventures of Death." One of her punk bands, The Basement Apartments, has a song aboutJacques Cousteau. 'l-he other is called fenny and the Holzers. Gmail Chat from Feb, 23'

|ames Payne: Okay, so to be as general as possible al firsl, why webcomics?

Dorothy Gambrell: It wasn't a conscious decision. I drew some Cat and Girl cartoons. A friend of mine liked reading comicsonline and in 1999 there weren't a whole lot of comics online, so he suggested I put mine up. I did.

|P: Do you haye interest in publishing where comic strips have been tradilionally seen? Like allernative weeklies?

DG: I grew up reading the cartoons in the newspaper everymorning - all of them, even Apartment 3-G. tr do feel a warmthwarmth. In rny limi{ed experience with print as it exists now, youtowards the idea of my cartoons in print, but it's a nostalgic

get the editorial limitations of a family-friendly venue with the miniscule financial returns of the panicky newspaper world.

!F: How does the economic rnodel of your webcomic compare or contrast with that experience?

DG: lt's decentralized. I use this quote in the beginning ol the first Donation Derby book "As long as I live under the capitalisticto be at ttiesystem I expect to have my life influenced by the demands of moneyed people. But I will be damned if I propose

beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp." - lvilliam FaulknerI would rather be at the beck and call of tens of thousands of people with two cents than a singular paying entity.

fP: Yeah, a loi of my friends who are "punk" because they don't like capitalism ended up starting businesses - are webcomicssort of like that?

DG: Yeah, at a certain point self-created enterprise presents itself as the altemative to working for olher people. As opposedthe alternative to some vaguely defined notion of integrity.

^WEECSMIC" continued sn page 14...