Conflict Management Strategies for your Toolkit

Dr. Buddy ColemanUNC Wilmington

Strategies for Your Toolkit

• Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking• Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict• Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict

Sequential Process

Strategy 1 Strategy 2 Strategy 3

Strategy 1 – Most Important OneAvoid becoming emotionally high jacked

• Do not emotionally high jack ourselves• Do not allow others to high jack us

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGBTkREbXfY

Avoid High Jacking Ourselves• Psychodynamic Leadership Theory

– Hardwired neurological pathways; aggression and emotional states are driven by the medulla oblongata in our brains

– Behavioral patterns– Personality development

• Preferences & Orientations– Comfort Zone: what we like rather than dislike– Needs based: satisfying our needs– Resist modifying our behaviors– Doing what we “want to do”– Instead of what we “should do”

Do Not Allow Others to High Jack Us

• People who are in control of their emotions are in control

• Resist giving in to physiological and psychological comfort zone responses

• Do not take the “bait” when people and/or situations set off our emotional triggers

• Emotional triggers are usually developed from childhood and are our “hot buttons” that can cause us to lose control and overreact

Effective Charter Leaders

• Operationally defined as individuals who live, work and perform at their very best

• They accomplish this by being keenly aware of their strengths and weaknesses

• Most importantly, they modify their thinking, behaviors and decisions to think, analyze, listen and “take the high ground” rather than undermining themselves emotionally

Emotional Intelligence

• Understanding ourselves personally• Understanding our strengths and weaknesses• Maintaining an effective leadership orientation• We are no longer leaders once we become

emotionally high jacked• Effectiveness of our actions and decisions are

determined by the reactions

Emotional Triggers

• Defined as behaviors and situations that may cause us to respond more emotionally than rationally

• Usually related to childhood events, parental relationships and/or deep feelings about loved ones

• The emotional triggers stimulate the medulla oblongata in our brains and result in a “flight” or “fight” response

• Example of an emotional trigger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZpDnXYIFjo

Emotional Triggers

• What kind of things do people do that you dislike?

• What are your feelings towards people when they do things that you dislike?

• What are some of your emotional triggers?

Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict• First we must implement Strategy 1 by always taking

the high ground and avoiding being emotionally high jacked by ourselves or others

• Second, we must establish agreements based on purpose, mission and goals relative to behaviors and interactions for all charter school stakeholders

• Principal/Director, Board Members, Teachers, Parents, Students and Staff

• Staff development for Principal and Board Members is critical and should include personality inventories to promote understanding among charter school leaders

Preventing Conflict• Establish behavioral agreements for discussions,

interactions and decision making• These must be in alignment with charter school

mission, purpose and goals• Behavioral agreements must also be congruent with

the roles of principal, board members, teachers and parents.

• Charter school leaders must focus on managing the interpersonal dynamics of all charter school stakeholders

Preventing Conflict

• Establish and commit to agreements• Written guidelines for interaction• Types of agreements include:

– Communication– Behaviors– Assumptions– Trust– Feedback

Example of Behavioral Agreements“We agree to…

• Open, honest, & regular communication• No silent disagreements• Collaborate with each other…focus on win-win• Anticipate opportunities and issues• Assume positive Intent • Respect each other• Maintain confidentiality• Keep our promises• Provide immediate feedback to anyone who violates an

agreement• Support each other to ensure a successful charter school

Preventing Conflict

• It our responsibility, as charter school leaders, to resolve interpersonal conflicts ASAP in meaningful ways relative to maintaining healthy relationships to work together to stay on point

• Leaders must be able to understand and be able to deal with feelings, disagreements and issues

• This is our responsibility

Preventing Conflict• To be successful, charter school leaders must establish

high quality, trusting personal relationships with their teachers, parents and board members

• This is accomplished by:– Building relationships based on openness, expertise and

a willingness to listen to the views, opinions, and priorities of your stakeholders

– Maintaining an even-handed and controlled approach in all interactions.

– Guiding stakeholders via personal interactions rather than positional authority and allowing time for them to process issues and decisions.

Preventing Conflict• Board Members’ Roles

– Preparation: Does the board have a clear sense of how it will conduct oversight of the academic program and fiscal health of the organization?

• Board Members’ Abilities– Capacity and Composition: Does the board the have the skills

and expertise to govern?• Board Members/Principal Governance

– Structure: Is the proposed governance structure in line with best practice?

– Clarity: Is there clear delineation of the authority and duties of the board, school leader, parents, teachers, and contractor, such as an education service provider (ESP) or a charter management organization (CMO)?

Preventing Conflict

• Charter school leader’s ability to maintain a professional, controlled orientation

• Effectively use communication and listening skills to promote positive and constructive interactions

• Establish formal structures and operationally define roles that are clearly understood

Strategy 3: Resolving Conflict

• First, Strategies 1 and 2 must be implemented• Next, if conflict occurs…or rather when conflict

occurs, then we, as leaders, must take appropriate action to resolve the conflict in meaningful and positive ways

• We begin by making sure that we understand conflict

Resolving Conflict

• Is conflict good? • Is conflict bad?• Neither• How we understand & respond to conflict is the key

Resolving Conflict

• Avoid blame game• Avoid getting emotional• Do not take it personally• Effective listening, understanding and

communication skills• Make it clear you are there to help

Resolving Conflict• Operationally defining conflict as a state of

unresolved differences: – Within an individual– Between individuals– An individual and a group– Or two or more groups

• Based on caring about something– Difficulty getting or giving something– Between two or more people, locked in an

interdependent relationship– What one party does affects the other party

Simplest Way to Resolve Conflict

• Eliminate the relationship– Leave the interdependent relationship– Refuse to interact with the other person(s)

• In many situations this is not practical• As charter school leaders, this is not usually possible• Therefore, we must learn how to address and deal

with conflict

Types & Sources of Organizational Conflicts

• Interpersonal– Exists when people interact in ways to try and achieve goals and objectives– They have different attitudes, personalities, values, backgrounds and

experiences• Competition for and/or management of resources

– Limited resources– Resource decision making

• Standardized Operating Procedures (SOPs)– Controls to manage behavior– Resistance to rules

• Line-Staff Relationships – Authority issues– Resistance to control

• Different Understandings of Goals

Five Ways to Deal With Conflict

1. Denial/Avoid/Withdraw

2. Positional Power

3. Accommodation

4. Compromise

5. Collaborating

Denial/Avoid/WithdrawIssues are not addressed

• Use if – The issues or timing is not critical; a cooling off period is required for both parties; and more information is needed is needed to resolve conflict

• Do not use if –The situation requires immediate attention or when one party remains frustrated by the avoidance of the issue

Positional PowerAuthoritative

• Use if – Swift action is needed in resolving the conflict

• Do not use if - Concern for the parties involved is not clear and the consequences of the action taken have not been considered

AccommodationLow on assertiveness, but high on cooperation

• Use if – it will allow for a better position to be heard; the preservation of the relationship is more important than the issue; or, the most important one, you are wrong.

• Do not use if – the issue is significant and must be resolved sooner than later

CompromiseModerately cooperative and assertive

• Use if – The issue or goal is of moderate importance and both parties involved feel a compromise would help in the resolution.

• Do not use if – Only one party is willing to give up something. Negotiation is not possible.

CollaboratingWin-Win Approach

• Use if – There are shared values or goals, time is available and the power among the parties is balanced; also if there is effective communication and the concerns are too important to compromise

• Do not use if – There is no balance of power between the parties, the values and goals are not shared, or poor communication exists between the parties

Charter School Conflicts

• Tension among board members• Power, accountability and control:

– Principal & Board– Principal, Board & Sponsoring District– Principal & Teachers– Principal & Parents– Teachers & Parents– Teachers & Students

Conflict Situations Discussion

• What are some conflict situations in your charter school?

• What do you think is causing these conflict situations?

Strategies for Your Toolkit

• Strategy 1: Avoid Emotional High Jacking• Strategy 2: Prevent Conflict• Strategy 3: Resolve Conflict

Sequential Process

Strategy 1 Strategy 2 Strategy 3

Questions