By Pam Mezzina, LCSWCapstone Center Director and Counselor

Ever since I was a young girl, my family has included an assortment of pets. We’ve had hamsters, cats, birds, fish, dogs, and horses.

My mother was and is an animal fanatic. At least 60 percent of her waking hours are spent attending to or discussing animals. Until his senior years, my father’ view was that animals were to stay in their place, and he never engaged with them emotionally. Then my father got Boomer and Jake, a Lhasa-Poo and a Springer Spaniel that stole his heart. Now every member of my family, including my children, are animal lovers.

Pets of all shapes, sizes, and breeds have one thing in common; they are family. My first experience losing a pet was as a child. Patches, my beautiful calico cat, died suddenly. I missed the feel of her rough tongue licking my hand, the weight of her curled up on my covers at night, the feel of her soft fur, and her loud purring. I never thought my heart would mend, and I couldn’t imagine getting another pet.

If you’re an animal lover, you know this profound sense of loss. You know the swelling of grief that comes at the sight of an empty food bowl, a lifeless collar, an empty cage or pillow. At Capstone Center, we know that your grief is real.

Here are five tips to help you heal after the loss of a beloved pet:• Learn about the grief process. (We have information that can help.)• Each person grieves in their own way and time. Your grief may go unrecognized by some (i.e. “It was just a pet.”),

while others may try to rush you into getting another pet. Trust your feelings and take the time you need to make these decisions.

• Commemorate your pet’s life through a ceremony or act of service. For example, plant a tree, make a photo album, or donate to an animal aid society in your pet’s honor.

• It takes time to “unlearn” the presence of a beloved pet and to heal your heart. Be patient with yourself.• It’s OK to ask for help. Turn to other animal lovers or trusted people for support or look on the web for resources.

Below is one that I have used: http://www.petangelmemorialcenter.com/pet-aftercare/grief-support.

We are also here for you. Our counselors are ready to listen. Connect with Capstone to learnabout our Pet Loss services. By phone: 850-219-8985 or email pam@connectwithcapstone.com.

I think about those days after Patches died, when I never thought my heart would heal. But it did and has broken many more times since then as I said goodbye to other beloved pets: Chance, Tracy, Cocoa, Shelby, Hannah, Simon and Gracie. As Queen Elizabeth says, “Grief is the price we pay for love.”

Since 1994, Pam Mezzina, LCSW and Director of Capstone Center, has specialized ingrief education, bereavement counseling to individuals and groups, coordinatingremembrance events, offering crisis support, and advocating for grief and trauma-friendlyschools, workplaces, and communities. Contact her at pam@connectwithcapstone.com.

5 Tips to Help you Heal after the Loss of a Beloved Pet

Connecting withCAPSTONE