creating a positive and candid culture in your office may 4,...
TRANSCRIPT
NCURA
Creating a Positive and Candid Culture in Your Office
May 4, 2015 NCURA Region 1
The Positive Dog
Who will win?
õ Tara Bishop, CAE Associate Executive Director, NCURA
õ 8 years on the Leadership team for NCURA Leadership Development Institute and Executive Leadership Program
õ Certified Association Executive through the American Society of Association Executives
õ Associate Executive Director, staff of 19
õ Student at the Chopra Center studying to become a Meditation Instructor
õ Just celebrated 25 year wedding anniversary, 25 years at NCURA and my husband and I have an almost19 year old son who is finishing his freshman year at East Stroudsburg University this week!
õ Have a very naughty 10 year old Beagle
Create a Positive and Candid Culture in Your Office
õ
3 Step Process
How Do Create a Great Office Culture?
õ 1) Management of Self
õ 2) One on One Communication
õ 3) Team Communications and Team Meetings
A Shift in Culture
õChange in a staff is evolutionary rather than a revolutionary (not a crash diet!)
õ If we want to see real change we have to take it step by step
õCulture Trumps Strategy Every Time
Some Strategies for Success Today! õ Notice..everything is good data!
õ What CAN we do?
õ Up Until Now…
õ Managing Energy
õ It’s ok to have a thin skin..allow yourself to heal
quickly
Should
Could
But
The Power of “And”
AND
õ You can leave your organization because there is a person that is making you crazy..
õ he/she/they will be waiting for you at your next institution in a different body!
SELF
WHAT YOU REACT TO IN ANOTHER YOU STRENGTHEN IN YOURSELF Eckhart Tolle
WE DON’T ATTRACT WHAT WE WANT WE ATTRACT WHAT WE ARE Dr. Wayne Dyer
Management of Self
Past Content
Future Excited
Past Anxious
Future Anxious
Body is in the
Present at all times
Centering õ Uncross your legs õ Relax your shoulders õ Palms up õ Breath in for 5 õ Hold for 5 õ Breath out for 5
To Bring Focus to Your Mind Wherever You Are – Breathe!
õ Breathing Exercise- This exercise is a great one to do when you need a good “pick me up” during the day. Keep your focus!
When You Feel Worried õ Teaching everyone around us to worry..worry
teaches worry
õ Goal is not to have worry come to you..it is what you do when you notice you feel worried
õ Ask yourself, What can I do about this right now?
õ What can I plan to do about it?
õ Release
õ Repeat
Emotions are Contagious! How Are You Moving Around Your Office During the Day
õ Word travels fast on what the
“temperature” is!
Busy-ness is a state of mind
How do you bring your mind into the present moment?
Is Balance Really the Goal?
Or is it whole heartedness in what you are doing
õ Time to work hard õ Time to be on the
road õ Time to be home õ Time to be with
family & friends õ Time for yourself
õDance between work and life is more about rhythm than balance
Emotional Intelligence õ The ability to monitor one’s own and
other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”
õ Source Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer
What is it Basically? õDoing and saying the ‘right’ thing at the
‘right’ time
“Dr.” Tara explains the brain õCredentials?
õ BA in DRAMA, Catholic University of
America, Washington DC
õWe’re going to keep it simple!
The physical pathway for emotional intelligence starts in the brain
Your primary senses enter here at the spinal cord
and must travel to the front of your brain before you can think rationally about your experience. õ
But first they travel through the limbic system, the place where emotions are experienced. õ
õ Emotional Intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.
The Pause Button
Stimulus Response Freedom to Choose
Susan Dunlap, Susan Dunlap Associates
Focus – Practice of Being in the Present Moment
õ
õOne story
Move
One on One
õ Respect – the desire to place value on
other people õ Whatever you are really thinking is coming
through!
Listening õ Be impressed and interested,
õ not impressive and interesting.
Listening with Honor õ Look at the person you are speaking to: õ Give the speaker your undivided attention and
leave the gadgets!
Don’t interrupt They want to impress others They’re too excited by the conversation to let the other person finish talking
õ Not formulating a response while the other person is talking.. People can sense your impatience to speak!
õGive people the time they need to express themselves. And don’t feel that one of you has to speak all the time.
õ Let silence do the heavy lifting in a conversation
One on One Communication Style
õ From “Sugar Coating” to Direct
õ The journey
A Journey õ Review of colleagues email
õOh you wanted me to “sugar coat” it
õ Yikes! Not what I wanted to model for my
young staff
õ Thought and thought about it
õ Talked to people as where is the cross between “sugar coat” and “brutal honestly”
õCame up with “Clear” as my personal communication style
õ Staff workshop
õ Shared this with consultant who said:
õDirect is not brutal, brutal is brutal
õWords to reinforce or shift someone’s behavior…hard on the problem, kind to the person
Our Colleagues õ We expect them to be on time, tell us in
advance if they are going to miss a deadline.
õ When they don’t, we talk about them…not to them. We feel frustrated and the business relationship can breakdown and we don’t ever address the issue…they should know..they are a grown up! Right?
Every Complaint is an Unasked Request
õWhen we are talking about someone,
and not to them, we are draining our energy, and because we have talked about it soo much, we feel like we have communicated…it just wasn’t to them!
The Gift of Feedback* õWhat is the purpose of feedback? õ To shift or reinforce behavior..that’s it! If you
have any other intention, don’t do it!
õ *Shari Harley, How to Say Anything to Anyone
Invite Feedback First! õ Know your blind spots..ask someone for
feedback every day!
õ Every time you get defensive, you train people not to tell you the truth. Manage yourself..say thank you!
õ It doesn’t mean that you agree..it means you heard.
õ Establish a core team of people who will always tell you the truth.
õ Give people permission to be honest with you. õ Make it easy to tell you the truth: I promise no
matter what you tell me and how hard it is to hear, I will say thank you. I won’t get defensive. And if I do, I’ll apologize and try to do better next time.
õ Ex: Chairs in
Don’t Give Feedback When õ You’re annoyed and it is a chance to
express your frustration õ You don’t have permission õ You can’t give an example
õ The recipient of the feedback is having a day in which everything has gone wrong
Let’s Ask for Feedback! õ Ask for feedback
õ Tell the person up front you promise to just say
thank you!
õ Say thank you..no explanations..no rationale
õ By saying thank you it doesn’t mean you agree it means you heard. All feedback is data!
õ Make it easy for people to tell you the truth!
First Steps… Giving Feedback can be hard..Asking for what you want is easier. Be specific or you can’t expect anyone to change! Give a vivid description of what you want..of what success looks like
Metta Meditation (Loving – Kindness) õMetta Meditation helps cultivate greater
awareness and compassion for the other person.
Metta Meditation õMay I be safe õ May I be happy õMay I be healthy õMay I be free from suffering
Metta Meditation õMay you be safe õ May you be happy õMay you be healthy õMay you be free from suffering
The Three Most Important Words in Creating an Enthusiastic Team?
õ Attitude
õ Attitude
õ Attitude
Want more? õConscious Leadership: A Management
Imperative
õ Sunday, August 2, 2015 õ NCURA National Meeting õWashington, DC
