![Page 1: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
![Page 2: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
“The tongue of the wise brings healing”
Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)
![Page 3: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
“It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a
fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate
locked with iron bars.”Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)
![Page 4: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
“If I don’t understand what someone is saying, I am a stranger to that person.
And that person is a stranger to me.”
1 Corinthians 14:11(NIVR)
![Page 5: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
“As far as the Lord is concerned, men and women need each
other.” 1 Corinthians 11:11 (CEV)
(She needs his love; He needs her respect)
![Page 6: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
“Love and respect are means to use
wisdom and understanding to
establish your home”
Proverbs 24:3 (CEV)
![Page 7: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
WHAT IS THE “Crazy Cycle”?
When a wife feels unloved, she tends to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. When a husband feels disrespected, he tends to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. And around and around they go—on the “Crazy Cycle.”
![Page 8: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
The Crazy Cycle
![Page 9: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
“The Crazy Cycle” happens when spouses focus on their own needs and overlook the needs of the other. But all this information will do a marriage little good unless both spouses commit themselves to the practice of being UNCONDITIONAL”; with the husband giving the wife UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and by the wife giving her husband UNCONDITIONAL RESPECT!
![Page 10: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
KEY: “Love and Respect
Must Be Unconditional”
![Page 11: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and
the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33
![Page 12: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Unconditional respect does not
mean a wife must be respectful of evil
behavior.
![Page 13: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
The best way for women to motivate their
husbands to love them is by showing them respect
whether they deserve it or not.
![Page 14: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
Unconditional respect, like unconditional love,
is all about how one SOUNDS (tone of voice and word
choice) and APPEARS (facial expressions and physical actions).
![Page 15: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
The wife’s greatest value is Love! One of her greatest fears is that if she shows her husband respect, he will treat her like a doormat, abuse her, or worse. Feminist
voices have trumpeted this idea for years.
Any man with basic good will want to serve his wife, and he would even die for
her.
![Page 16: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
The wife is to respect her husband as first among equals and he is to honor her as first
in IMPORTANCE. This is something to be practiced REGARDLESS of feelings.
![Page 17: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
THE ENERGIZING CYCLE:
![Page 18: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Here is an acronym C-O-U-P-L-E, which provides six ways for a husband to spell love
for his wife.
![Page 19: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
C — Closeness: She wants you to be close…. and not just when you want sex.
O — Openness: She wants you to open up to her, to talk and not be closed of, act angry or
disinterested.
U — Understanding: Don’t try to “fix” her; just listen…. and be considerate when she’s really upset.
P — Peacemaking: There is power in saying, “Honey, I’m really sorry.”
L — Loyalty: Always assure her of your love and commitment.
E — Esteem: Your wife wants you to honor and cherish her.
![Page 20: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
To show their respect, here are six biblical ways in the
acronym C-H-A-I-R-S to spell respect
for a husband’s deepest desires.
![Page 21: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
C — Conquest: Recognize and thank him for his desire to work.
H — Hierarchy: Thank him for his motivation to protect and provide for you.
A — Authority: Acknowledge his desire to lead — and don’t subvert his leadership.
I — Insight: Listen appreciatively to his ideas and to the advice he wishes to offer.
R — Relationship: Value his desire for you to be his friend and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with
him.
S — Sexuality: Respond to his need for you sexually; don’t deprive him.
![Page 22: “The tongue of the wise brings healing” Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)](https://reader035.vdocuments.net/reader035/viewer/2022062410/568159e3550346895dc72d2e/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)