“The tongue of the wise brings healing”

Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)

“It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a

fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate

locked with iron bars.”Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)

“If I don’t understand what someone is saying, I am a stranger to that person.

And that person is a stranger to me.”

1 Corinthians 14:11(NIVR)

“As far as the Lord is concerned, men and women need each

other.” 1 Corinthians 11:11 (CEV)

(She needs his love; He needs her respect)

“Love and respect are means to use

wisdom and understanding to

establish your home”

Proverbs 24:3 (CEV)

WHAT IS THE “Crazy Cycle”?

When a wife feels unloved, she tends to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. When a husband feels disrespected, he tends to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. And around and around they go—on the “Crazy Cycle.”

The Crazy Cycle

“The Crazy Cycle” happens when spouses focus on their own needs and overlook the needs of the other. But all this information will do a marriage little good unless both spouses commit themselves to the practice of being UNCONDITIONAL”; with the husband giving the wife UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and by the wife giving her husband UNCONDITIONAL RESPECT!

KEY: “Love and Respect

Must Be Unconditional”

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and

the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

Ephesians 5:33

Unconditional respect does not

mean a wife must be respectful of evil

behavior.

The best way for women to motivate their

husbands to love them is by showing them respect

whether they deserve it or not.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love,

is all about how one SOUNDS (tone of voice and word

choice) and APPEARS (facial expressions and physical actions).

The wife’s greatest value is Love! One of her greatest fears is that if she shows her husband respect, he will treat her like a doormat, abuse her, or worse. Feminist

voices have trumpeted this idea for years.

Any man with basic good will want to serve his wife, and he would even die for

her.

The wife is to respect her husband as first among equals and he is to honor her as first

in IMPORTANCE. This is something to be practiced REGARDLESS of feelings.

THE ENERGIZING CYCLE:

Here is an acronym C-O-U-P-L-E, which provides six ways for a husband to spell love

for his wife.

C — Closeness: She wants you to be close…. and not just when you want sex.

O — Openness: She wants you to open up to her, to talk and not be closed of, act angry or

disinterested.

U — Understanding: Don’t try to “fix” her; just listen…. and be considerate when she’s really upset.

P — Peacemaking: There is power in saying, “Honey, I’m really sorry.”

L — Loyalty: Always assure her of your love and commitment.

E — Esteem: Your wife wants you to honor and cherish her.

To show their respect, here are six biblical ways in the

acronym C-H-A-I-R-S to spell respect

for a husband’s deepest desires.

C — Conquest: Recognize and thank him for his desire to work.

H — Hierarchy: Thank him for his motivation to protect and provide for you.

A — Authority: Acknowledge his desire to lead — and don’t subvert his leadership.

I — Insight: Listen appreciatively to his ideas and to the advice he wishes to offer.

R — Relationship: Value his desire for you to be his friend and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with

him.

S — Sexuality: Respond to his need for you sexually; don’t deprive him.