Enhancing Interpersonal Skills to handle Conflict Management

What we want from life Some Observations

bull Pleasure of livingbull Pleasure to serve the societybull Successbull Happinessbull Sense of uniquenessbull Inner satisfactionbull Desire to contributebull Recognitionbull Sense of togethernessbull Sense of dignity

Interpersonal Relations

bull Interpersonal relations is the key which

unlocks many business problems

bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying

group efforts

bull It is a discipline in itself

bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity

bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act

bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls

bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people

Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people

They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground

The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

What we want from life Some Observations

bull Pleasure of livingbull Pleasure to serve the societybull Successbull Happinessbull Sense of uniquenessbull Inner satisfactionbull Desire to contributebull Recognitionbull Sense of togethernessbull Sense of dignity

Interpersonal Relations

bull Interpersonal relations is the key which

unlocks many business problems

bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying

group efforts

bull It is a discipline in itself

bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity

bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act

bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls

bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people

Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people

They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground

The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Interpersonal Relations

bull Interpersonal relations is the key which

unlocks many business problems

bull Interpersonal relations is satisfying

group efforts

bull It is a discipline in itself

bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity

bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act

bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls

bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people

Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people

They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground

The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull The beginning of lsquoeverythingrsquo happening in business and core of all actions is human activity

bull Nothing of any consequence happens unti l human beings want to act

bull Individuals are hiredselected based on their technical skil ls but their success on the job is based on Human Relation Skil ls

bull People need people Human experience involves interaction or relationship with other people

Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people

They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground

The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Interpersonal relationships are social associations connections or affiliations between two or more people

They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing or establishment of common ground

The study of relationships is of concern to sociology psychology and anthropology

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull It explains why one man works harder than

the other

bull Why one employee quits his job much

sooner than the other

bull Why one group of employee restricts their

output and and another works energetically

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Interpersonal Relations stand for the

development of an effective organization

bull It is more than winning friends and

influencing people

bull It is based on the recognition of human

feelings and aspirations in the

organizations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

The concept of Emotional Intelligence comes

from understanding othersrsquo feelings and

attitude thereby developing more respect for

people and accepting them as individuals

Emotional Intelligence Interpersonal Skills

Relationship Management Skills Behavioral

Skills are just different names for an ability to

deal with people in a warm positive and result

oriented manner

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Emotional Intelligence amp Intelligence Quotient

bull IQ offers little to explain the different destines of people with roughly equal promises schooling and opportunity

bull 95 Harvard students from classes of 1940s were followed into middle age It was found that the men with the highest test scores in college were not particularly successful compared to their lower-scoring peers in terms of salary productivity or status in their own field They also did not have the greatest life satisfaction nor high levels of happiness with friendships family and romantic relationship

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

The problem is not with emotionality but with the appropriateness of emotions and

its expression

The challenge is to manage our emotional life with intelligence

Aristotle

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Interpersonal Relations are the integration

of people into work situations that motivate

them to work together

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Interpersonal relations deals with

bull Human emotions

bull Impulses and

bull Deep feelings

These arise out of one`s needs

and drives such as

bull The instinct of security and possession

bull Emotions like love hate anger fear pride curiosity etc

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Psychology of Interpersonal Relations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Why do people

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

OPEN AREA

HIDDEN AREAOF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY

BLIND AREABLIND PART OF ONESPERSONALITY WHICH ISKNOWN TO OTHERS BUTUNKNOWN TO SELF

UNKNOWN OR DARK AREA OF ONErsquoSPERSONALITY NOT

KNOWN TO ANYONE

Self

Known Unknown

Known

Unknown

It gives information regarding exposure (Capacity to tell others about onersquos self) one feedback (Individual susceptibility to onersquos ownself)

JOHARI WINDOW

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Transactional Analysis

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

18

What is TA

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS

bull PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED

bull A LEADERSHIP STYLE

bull A TRAINING TOOL

bull AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO

bull AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Objective of TA

To provide better understanding of how people relate to each other so that they may develop better understanding and improved human relationships

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

20

REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF TA IN MANAGEMENT

SIMPLE LANGUAGE

USEFUL AT WORK amp AT HOME

DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS ORGANIZATIONS

NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS

APPROPRIATE FOR ldquoNORMAL

PEOPLErdquo

BUILT-IN HUMOR

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

21

BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)

THREE BASIC

EGO STATES

FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES

P(PARENT)

A(ADULT)

C(CHILD)

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

LECTURING CRITICIZING MANY ldquoOUGHTSrdquo ldquoSHOULDrdquo amprdquoDONrsquoTSrdquo

CONSOLING ldquoTAKING CARErdquo OF OTHERS SYMPATHY

OBJECTIVE RATIONAL ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION

MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS MANUPULATIVE SUMBISSIVE

PLAYFUL IMPULSIVE NATULRALLY CURIOUS ampCREATIVE FUN LOVING REBELLIOUS

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

22

TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB

CRITICAL PARENT

NURTURING PARENT

ADULT

ldquoCANrsquoT YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCErdquo

ldquoWHAT IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAILrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM SURPRISED AT YOUhellip THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSYrdquo

ldquoIrsquoM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOUrdquo

ldquoLET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU MR SMITHrdquo

ldquoYOUrsquoVE DONE A SWELL JOBrdquo

ADAPTED CHILD

NATURAL CHILD

ldquoWHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVESrdquo

ldquoCANrsquoT WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISErdquo

ldquoWHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVErdquo

ldquoANYTHING YOU SAY SIRrdquo

ldquoSORRY IrsquoLL TRY TO IMPROVErdquo

ldquoWHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOUrdquo

ldquoNOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAYrdquo

ldquoFORGET ABOUT IT HErsquoS JUST THE BOSSrdquo

ldquoLETrsquoS KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAYrdquo

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

23

TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR

EXPECTED RESPONSE NO CONFLICT

PRODUCE CONFLICT STOP COMMUNICATION HURT FEELINGS

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

24

EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) ACS ldquoCAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRSrdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoYOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME rdquo

NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER ldquoWHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECTrdquo

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONErdquo

(1) FIRST PTL ldquoGEE I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOWrdquo

(2) SECOND PTL ldquoLETrsquoS TAKE OFF WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAYrsquo

ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION

NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD

(1)

(2) (1)

(2)

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

25

EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB

P P

A

CC

A

P P P

A

CC

A

(1) MANAGER ldquo DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATESrdquo

(2) ANALYST ldquoHOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESNrsquoT MAKE SENSErdquo

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY

CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

(1) MANAGER COME OVER HERErdquo (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)

(2) EMPLOYEE ldquoWHY DONrsquoT YOU COME OVER HERE ITrsquoS JUST AS FARrdquo

(1) SUPERVISOR ldquoHOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD rdquo

(2) IT SPECIALIST ldquoHOW SHOULD I KNOW I ONLY WORK HERErsquo

PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS

CHILD RESPONSE

ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO

PARENT RESPONSE

(1)

(2)

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

P

A

C

(1)

(2) (2)

(1)

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

26

EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS

P P

A

CC

A

P P

A

CC

A

(1) EMPLOYEE ldquoSORRY I WONrsquoT HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROWrsquoS DEADLINErdquo

(2) MANAGER ldquoITrsquoS OK IrsquoVE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAYrdquo

(1)

(2)

(1) SALESMAN ldquoTHIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOUrsquoD EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR ndash BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOUrdquo

(2) CUSTOMER ldquoWELL LETrsquoS GIVE IT A TEST DRIVErdquo (HIDDEN MEANING ldquoWHO DOES HE THINK I AMrdquo)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

(2)

(1)

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Handling relationships

bull The art of relationship is mostly the skill of managing emotions in others

bull These are the abilities that enhance popularity leadership and interpersonal effectiveness

bull People who excel in these skills do well at anything that involves interacting with others and are social stars

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Improving Emotional Intelligence

Recognizing Emotions in others

bull Empathy is the fundamental people skill

bull People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle signals indicating what others want or need

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

EI Adds Value

bull Helps not to run people downbull Assists to build up relations graduallybull Prompts to empathise

EI is Sensitive to the Motivation of Others

bull Develops emotional bondage with peoplebull Count on People and trust thembull Respect others convictions and opinions

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Interpersonal relations add value

bull An industrial relations trainer wrote on the board - 1+1= 2 2+2= 4 3+3= 6

bull He made a dozen simple additions

bull Finally he wrote 13+13= 27

bull The entire class shouted ldquowrong wrongrdquo

bull The trainer pointed out to them that they did not appreciate him when he was right but once he went wrong the whole class criticized him immediately and unanimously

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Anecdotes

Symbolism

And Stories On

Interpersonal Relations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Everybody is somebody

bull Treat people as individuals

bull People are not machines nor merely units of productive capacity

bull Every human being has a feeling of self importance and ego

bull Bear in mind this psychological factor especially when you deal with people at the lower level

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Do not run down people

bull Two things are bad for heart

Running upstairs and running down people

bull Benjamin Franklin adds

ldquoTo be humble to superiors is duty to equals

courtesy To inferiors noblenessrdquo

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Built up gradually

bull Interpersonal relations are built up

gradually like a castle - brick upon brick

bull Nurture it tenderly

bull Slip of a single harsh word can destroy it

like a sand castle crumbling down by a

single stroke

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Techniques of improving interpersonal skills

bull Sensitivity to one`s attitude

bull Sensitivity to others` motivational needs

bull Recognising one`s feelings and sentiments

bull Ability of effective communication

bull To work effectively as a team member

bull Ability of self awareness and social awareness

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Sensitivity To One`s Attitudebull No steam or gas ever drives anything until

it is confined

bull No life ever grows until it is focussed

dedicated and disciplined

bull The man who has to control others must

learn to control himself If he cannot control

what is under his hat he cannot control

what is under his roof

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Arm yourself with a smile

bull With a smile you can disarm even your

enemy

bull A leader with a sense of humor is more

warmly acceptable to his followers

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Control your anger

bull Man Is the product of his environment It is

but natural that you are in the mood of

anger sometimes

bull Anger can damage human relations It is

important that till you calm down do not

talk to anybody do nothing

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Self Confidence

Self confidence is the awareness of one`s

own worth and will power

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Sensitive To The Motivation Of Others

Greet your people

Every morning your men wait to greet you

To return a greeting indifferently is like

throwing a splash of cold water

The few seconds you spent on greeting your

people is very important for the day

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Address your people by name

You must identify your people by name and

not by designation or physical appearance

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Develop Emotional Bondage With Your People

You cannot bear the weight of certain emotions

Words

Every loving touch is a communication of esteem

and care It tells silently aloud that you are cared

for

When you keep your hand on the shoulder of your

subordinate it renders an emotional bondage

between you and your man

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

He is somebody to you

bull Create occasions to introduce your men to

your visitors

bull This is the opportunity to speak good of

your men to a third person

bull This strategy reinforces the feeling that they

are somebody to you as you are to them

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Respect one`s opinions and convictions

The right to express one`s opinions and

convictions is to be respected however

small one may be

Thousands of men wasted away their days

in prison for the sake of their opinions

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Social Calls - Cementing Effect

Visit the families of your men occasionally

it stenghthen your relations

You do not have to wait for a ceremony to

take place in that family and a formal

invitation thereof This instills a sense of

confidence

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Recognize One`s Feelings And Sentiments

bull Your men know well that you are their

superior

bull It is your inferiority complex that makes

you throw your weight around

bull Do not pretend that you are the almighty

because you are not

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Admit your mistake

bull To err is human To accept error is

greatness

bull Unfortunately it is the tendency of every

human being to prove that his point is right

bull When you go wrongadmit to your people

your errors without any reservation It is the

mark of a great man

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Courtesy Pays

bull President Lincoln was strolling with his friend when an old Negro passing by bowed

and tipped his hat Lincoln stopped and returned the gesture more gracefully

bull On his friends asking the reason behind Lincoln`s behaviour the president

explained that he does not allow anyone else to be more courteous than himself

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Ability Of Effective Communication

bull Communication besides being simple has to

be absolutely clear

bull Communication is a flash of lightening and

often even more illuminating

bull It enables you to see others and make

yourself seen and known

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Listen To Others

bull Some people are adamant in not listening to others They want only to talk They prevent others from saying anything

bull You should listen no matter how much you disagree with other`s points

bull Everybody likes a good listener

bull Listening is not only a courtesy but also tactful behaviour

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

It is a joy to be heard

bull One of the joys of life is to know that you

have been heard and understood correctly

and to know that someone cares

bull There is a satisfaction to see the enjoyment

on the part of speaker when he knows that

he has been understood correctly

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Listen with your eyes

bull Difficulties do not vanish when you ignore themIf we neglect a situation it might reach a boiling point and explode

bull Impart a sense of care and protection to your people by attending to their difficulties

bull Listen to your people Listen with your ears

bull Listen with your eyes

bull Listen with your heart

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

To Work Effectively As A Team Member

Keep Tryingbull Two frogs fell into a bucket of cream Each

time they tried to come up they slipped The lazy one drowned

bull The enterprising one kept trying with his front legs while the back legs were kicking and propelling

bull Butter got formed due to the continuous kicking and that helped him to leap to safety

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Elevate the general morale of your people

Build up loyalty and sincerity of your

people by being up front line especially

when your men are in real trouble

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Identify hidden talents

bull Your role as a leader is to identify hidden talents and

bull To develop the strength of individuals working with you

bull The weakest among the lot needs your help and guidance

bull They should not be treated as botherations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Ability Of Self Awareness And Social Awareness

If you attempt to please each and everybody

you will go mad

An old man had two wives one young and the other old He agreed with his young

wife to pluck all his white hair and pleased his old wife by plucking all the black ones

So between the young and the old he became bald

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Respect social sentiments

bull People do not like sudden changes

bull We can not abruptly change social customs

traditions and values

bull We should conform to them and respect the

social sentiments of our people

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Get feedback

bull It is vital to take a feedback to find out what

your men think about you

bull You may need some corrections

bull Everybody needs periodical self-analysis

bull Conduct self - reviews systematically so

that you can remain an ideal and pragmatic

leader

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Saint Kabir Das is widely acknowledged as one of the great personality of the Bhakti

movement in North India He was born in Year 1398 AD(71 years

before Guru Nanak)He lived upto age of 120 years(1518)

But Hazari Prased Dwivedi a British Scholar Charlotte Vaudenville has proven that 1448 is probably the correct date of Saint Kabirs demise

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

He is one of the medieval Indian saints of Bhakti and Sufi movement whose compositions figure in Sikh Scripture ldquothe Guru Granth Sahibrdquo

From among all of them Kabirs contribution is the largest 227 Padas in 17 ragas and 237 slokas

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

कबीर क दोह

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull ितनका कबह ना िनदय जो पाव तल होय कबह उड़ आखो पड़ पीर घानरी होय

bull बडा हआ तो कया हआ जस पड़ खजर पथी को छाया नही फल लाग अित दर

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull साध गाठ न बाधई उदर समाता लय आग पाछ हरी खड़ जब माग तब दय

bull साई इतना दीिजय जा म कटम समाय म भी भखा न रह साध ना भखा जाय

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull माटी कह कमहार स त कया रौद मोय एक िदन ऐसा आएगा म रौदगी तोय

bull रात गवाई सोय क िदवस गवाया खाय हीरा जनम अमोल था कोड़ी बदल जाय

bull उठा बगला प म का ितनका चढ़ा अकास ितनका ितनक स िमला ितन का ितन क पास

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull जो तोको का टा ब व तािह बोव त फल तोिह फल को फल ह वाको ह

ितरस ल

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Before you say anything to anyone ask yourself 3 things

1 Is it true 2 Is it kind

3 Is i t necessary

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Refuse to talk negatively about others dont gossip and dont l isten to gossip

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Have a forgiving Attitude Believe that most people are doing the best they can

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Keep an open mind discuss but dont argue (It is possible to disagree without being

disagreeable)

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

I f someone crit icizes you see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying if so make changes If there is no truth to the crit icism ignore it and l ive so that no one

wil l believe the negative remark

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Cult ivate your sense of humor laughter is the shortest distance between two people

Do not seek so much to be consoled as to console do not seek so much to be understood as to understand

do not seek so much to be loved as to love

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

I pray that al l of us wil l keep these points in mind With these principles we can continuously improve our

personal relationships with others wherever we are

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Types

bull Kinship Relationships- these includes family relationships (Father and Mother )

bull Formalized intimate relationships- these are long term relationships through law and public ceremony (Marriage)

bull Non-formalized intimate relationships- (boyfriend girlfriend)

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Friendship- mutual love trust respect and unconditional acceptance (internet friendships pen pals)

bull Partners or coworkers in a profession- is an occupation that requires extensive training and the study of specialized knowledge

bull Acquaintanceship- simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by interaction

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Factors affecting Interpersonal Relationships

bull Common Groundsbull Intimate

Relationshipbull Popular

Psychologybull Friendship bull Abusive

Relationships

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Common Grounds- is a technique for facilitating interpersonal relationships

The participants must search for signals of recognitions which are often subtle and cause for misunderstandings

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Intimate relationship- An interpersonal relationship with a great deal of physical or emotional intimacy

It is usually characterized by romantic or love and attachment

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Popular psychology- popularly known as pop psychology refers to concepts and theories about human mental life and behavior that come from outside the technical study of psychology

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Friendship- A relationship which involves mutual knowledge esteem and affection

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Abusive Relationship -interpersonal relationship characterized by the use or threat of physical or psychological abuse

Abusive relationships are often characterized

by jealousy emotional withholding lack of intimacy infidelity sexual coercion verbal abuse broken promises physical violence control games and power plays

Abusive relationships are often progressive

That is the abuse gets worse over time

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Social relation- can refer to a multitude of social interactions regulated by social norms between two or more people with each having a social position and performing a social role

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

bull Develop Mutual Respect bull Practice Empathy bull Be warm and Genuine bull Practice Self-Disclosurebull Develop Confrontation Skills bull Patience

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Conflict Management Max amp Max

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game at

the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needsbull Meet Max

ndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and well educated

ndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of

customer service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer

servicebull Max and Max

ndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a chance to learn a chance to show their stuff

ndash Each comes to learn about limits though stay on the lawn get your own job figured out first then you can start worrying about mine

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Conflict is a necessary and healthy part of the life of all organizations

bull Conflict on the job usually represents the normal competitive urge present in most individuals

bull Conflict on the job is always the result of personality clashes

About Confl ict

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Conflict is a primary source of stress on the job

bull One of the benefits of conflict on the job is that it sometimes produces useful change

bull In resolving a conflict a team leader must determine whether the cause is

a) Personality clash b) The way the work is structured

Contdhellip

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

When there is potential for one party to negatively impact another party

Supervisor ndash subordinate relationshipsTeam membersCustomer interactionsOrganizational changeClash of Interest

What is Confl ict

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Communication problemsndash Ambiguityndash Mixed messages

bull Verbalize one thing yet your body language says another

ndash Structural variablesndash Goal incompatibility

bull Sales department versus credit department

ndash Dependence issuesbull One group (accounting) dependent

upon another (MIS)

Why Confl ict

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Personal factorsndash Personality clashes

bull Type A versus Type B

ndash Value systemsbull National culture dimensionsbull Different emphasis on quality or quantitybull Different perception and area of interest

Contdhellip

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Causes of Confl ict

bull Personality differences

bull Value differences

bull Differences in Perspectives

bull Differences in Goals

bull Differences in Departmental

Allegiance

bull Ambiguities about responsibilities

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

bull Poor communication

bull Seeking power

bull Dissatisfaction with management style

bull Weak leadership

bull Lack of openness

bull Change in leadership

Beginning of Confl ict

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Body language Disagreements regardless of issue

Withholding bad news

Surprises

Strong public statements

Airing disagreements through media

Conflicts in value system

Confl ict Indicators

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Desire for power

Increasing lack of respect

Open disagreement

Lack of candor on budget problems or other sensitive issues

Lack of clear goals

No discussion of progress failure relative to goals failure to evaluate the superintendent fairly thoroughly or at all

Contdhellip

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Constructive Confl ict

bull Results in clarification of important problems and issues

bull Results in solutions to problemsbull Causes authentic communicationbull Helps release emotion anxiety and stressbull Builds cooperation among people through

learning more about each otherbull Helps individuals develop understanding and

skillsbull Helps people be real for example it

motivates them to participate bull Helps people learn how to recognize and

benefit from their differences

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Destructive Confl ict

Takes attention away from other important activities

Undermines morale or self-conceptPolarizes people and groups reducing

cooperationIncreases or sharpens differenceLeads to irresponsible and harmful behavior

such as fighting name-callingHampers productivityLowers moraleCauses more and continued conflictsCauses inappropriate behaviors

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Types of Confl ict

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

The Conflict Process

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Managing confl ict

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Managing confl ict

bull Encouraging Functional Conflicts

ndash Encourage dissent by asking tough questionsndash Bring people with different points of viewndash Designate someone to be a devilrsquos advocatendash Ask the team to consider an unthinkable alternatives

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Functional Conflict

bull Functional Conflictndash Conflict that supports the goals of the group and improves performance

bull ldquoWhen two people in business always agree one of them is unnecessaryrdquo

bull ldquoYou put a lot of smart people in a room and listen to them duke it out and the best idea will pop outrdquo

ndash Task conflictbull Conflicts over content and goals of workbull Low to moderate level is functionalbull Stimulates discussion and ideas

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Dysfunctional Confl ict

bull Conflict that hinders performancebull Relationship conflict

ndash Stems from interpersonal relationshipsndash Personality clashes value differences

bull Results in hostility amp frictionndash Decreases mutual understanding and makes task

completion more difficult

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Managing Dysfunctional confl ict

bull Managing Dysfunctional Conflictsndash Mediates the conflictsndash Arbitrate the conflictsndash Control the conflictsndash Accept the conflictsndash Eliminate the conflicts

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Collaborating winwin

Compromising win somelose some

Accommodating

losewin

Competing winlose

Avoiding no winnersno losers

5 Confl ict Management Strategies

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Resolving Team Confl ictbull Conflict is an emotional disturbance or

disagreement

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Six Steps to Manage Team Confl ict

Clarify and identify the cause of conflict

Determine the common goal Determine options Determine and remove the barriers Determine solution that everyone

can accept Acknowledge solution win-win

solution

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Confl ict Resolution

bull Super-ordinate goalsndash Overarching shared goal that cannot be attained without

cooperation of each of the conflicting partiesbull Altering structural variables

ndash Changing the organizational chartbull Reporting relationships

ndash Create joint-task forcesbull Gain appreciation of each others (groups) constraints

and needs bull Altering individuals

ndash Human relations trainingndash Transfers

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Confl ict Resolution

bull Mediationndash Neutral third party attempts to find mutually beneficial trade-

offs suggests alternatives amp serves as a sounding board for the conflicting parties

bull Growing area of legal practicesbull 60 of cases in mediation reach settlement

bull Arbitrationndash Neutral third party can dictate an agreement

bull Allows parties to avoid the high-costs of going to trial bull Always results in settlement

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Confl ict Resolution Techniques

bull Problem solving

bull Super co-ordinate goals

bull Expansion of resources

bull Avoidance

bull Smoothing

bull Compromise

bull Authoritative command

bull Altering the human variable

bull Altering the structural variables

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Meditationbull Close your eyes ndash Relaxbull Wear a Gentle Smilebull Go in deeper Relaxationbull Deep Breathe bull Gently roll up your Eyeballsbull Surrender to Subconscious Mindbull Handover the problem to subconscious mind

(Now go to sleep ndash Expectantly)bull Visualize Results Express Gratefulness next morning

(Before opening your eyes)

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

to delegateall you needisfaithin the other person

Andfaith

movesmountains

Delegation

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

If We Handle Life Situations Well the Confl ict can be

better Managed

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

Worry As Cause Of Confl ictWorry As Cause Of Confl ict

Worrying for situations which never happens 40Worrying for situations which has happened in the past 30Worrying for situations which concerns others 12Worrying for illness which may be real or imaginary 10Situations which needs attention Competence and Opportunity to prove we should not be worried but should be concerned

8

One can avoid conflict if we understand the above life situations

We listen ampFind Solutions

EGOSELF

Remain at Base LevelAccept Authority of Other

EGOOTHER PERSON

Ego Cause Of Confl ict-Ego Cause Of Confl ict- Mind Mind

BlockageBlockage

We hear amp donrsquot Listen

TENSION

CONFLICT

FRUSTRATION

HELPLESSNESS

INSULT

ANGER

DEPRESSION

STRESS

Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler

AGRESSION

Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude

And You Change Your Life

Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things

Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude

85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS

Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what

other people think or say or do

It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home

We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip

We cannot change the inevitable

The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have

and that ishellip

our Attitude

Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

TENSION

CONFLICT

FRUSTRATION

HELPLESSNESS

INSULT

ANGER

DEPRESSION

STRESS

Confl ict A Silent Kil lerConfl ict A Silent Kil ler

AGRESSION

Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude

And You Change Your Life

Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things

Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude

85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS

Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what

other people think or say or do

It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home

We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip

We cannot change the inevitable

The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have

and that ishellip

our Attitude

Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Attitude is Everything Change Your Attitude

And You Change Your Life

Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things

Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude

85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS

Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what

other people think or say or do

It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home

We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip

We cannot change the inevitable

The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have

and that ishellip

our Attitude

Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Attitude is the way you communicate your mood to others It is the way you look at things

Your feelings desires fears convictions state of readiness external environment all combines to form Your Attitude

85 of interpersonal problems are caused due to negative or biased attitude

ATTITUDE

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS

Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what

other people think or say or do

It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home

We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip

We cannot change the inevitable

The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have

and that ishellip

our Attitude

Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ATTITUDE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FACTSFACTS

Attitude is more important than the past education money circumstances failures successes what

other people think or say or do

It is more important than appearance giftedness or skill It will make or break a company - a home

We cannot change our past - we cannot change the facthellip

We cannot change the inevitable

The only thing we can do is play on the one strength we have

and that ishellip

our Attitude

Life is 10 of what happens to us and 90 of how we react to ithellip

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

A SMALL A SMALL TRUTH TO TRUTH TO

MAKE LIFE MAKE LIFE 100100

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Hard workHard work

H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =

98

KnowledgeKnowledge

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =

96

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

LoveLove

L+O+V+E

12+15+22+5 = 54LuckLuck

L+U+C+K

12+21+3+11 = 47 (dont most of us think this is the most important)

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Then what makes 100

Is it MoneyMoney NO [M+O+N+E+Y = 13+15+14+5+25 = 72]

LeadershipLeadership NO [L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P = 12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89]

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

ATTITUDEATTITUDE

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 1001+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100

It is It is OUR ATTITUDEOUR ATTITUDE towards towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life and Work that makes OUR

Life 100Life 100

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Every problem has a solution Every problem has a solution only if we perhaps change our only if we perhaps change our

attitudeattitude

To go to the top To go to the top

to that to that 100 100

what we real ly need to go what we real ly need to go further a bit more further a bit more

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Positive A++itude

When you think positively about yourself you work harder at what you want to do - and give up less easily

You make a better impression on others which encourages them to help you

When you think more positively about your colleagues employees spouse and children you build stronger and more productive relationships - leading to greater success at work and at home

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Posit ive A++itudeLife is now Time to do what you want to do is now Desire to achieve Commitment to achieve Capacity to get along with others Clarity in targetgoals

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Posit ive Attitude ndash Key to Success

bull No Matter what Attitude we adopt the flow of life continues but in the moment we do have choice about the direction in which we lean

bullWhen we resist the flow life becomes more difficult

ldquo Positive Attitude Means Leaning In The Direction In Which Life Is Flowingrdquo

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Building Posit ive Attitude

bullLook for goodness in peoplebullBuild a positive Self Esteem

bullAvoid Negative Influences

bullWork on Continuous Self Development

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Dynamics of Posit ive Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Anticipation bull Expectation bull Hope bull Confidence bull Faith bull Patience bull Humility bull Love bull Belief

bull Enthusiastic bull Courageous bull Optimistic bull Cheerful bull Sincere bull Warm bull Relaxed

bull Success bull Recognition bull Happiness bull Growth bull Admiration bull Friends

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Dynamics of Negative Attitude

Attitude Activator

Personality Attitude In Action

Result

bull Fear bull Doubt bull Envy bull Anger bull Conceit bull Self Pity bull Suspicion bull Indecision bull Criticism

bull Inconsiderate bull Pessimistic bull Weak bull Cold bull Sour bull Irritable

bull Worry bull Tension bull Frustration bull Failure bull Sickness bull No Friends

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Your

Attitude

Determines

Your

Altitude

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

ldquo A young lady was waiting her fl ight in the boarding room of a big airport

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

As she would wait for many hours she decided to buy a book to spend her time She also bought a packet of cookies

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

She sat down on a airmchair in the VIP room of the airport to rest and read in peace

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Beside the airmchair there was the packet of cookies a man sat down opened his magazine and started reading

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

When she cought the f irst cookie the man

cought one also She felt herself

infuriate but didn rsquot say anything She just

thought ldquoWhat a nerve If I

was in the mood I would punch his eye

not to forget this daringrdquo

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

To each cokkie she cought the man cought one either

That was letting her infuriated but she couldnrsquot react

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

When remained only one cookie she thought ldquoah What this abused man wil l do nowrdquo

Then the man divided the last cookie in the middle giving her the half

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Ah That was too much

She was too much angry

Then she caught her book caught her things and headed to the boarding place

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

When she sat down in an armchair inside the plane she looked into her purse to catch her eyeglasses and to her surprise her packet of cookies was there untouched c losed

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

She felt so much

ashamed She real ized

that she was the

wrong one

She had forgotten that her

cookies were kept into her purse

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

The man divided his cookies with her wihtout feel ing infuriated nervous or mad

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

while she was been very mad

thinking that he was dividing her

cookies with him

but there was no more t ime to

explain herself Nor to

apologizesrdquo

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

There are 4 things that u can rsquot recover

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

The stone

after shot

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

The word

after pronounced

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

The occasion

after lost

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

The time

after gone

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Forgiveness is your Biggest Asset

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Unplug your negative thoughts

One of the keys to

overcoming

depression is learning

how to control your

low moods and

reversing them

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Express it appropriately

Even though it may feel good to snap at the object of your fury do not Speak up Say lsquoLet us talk about our difference of opinionrsquo or lsquoSomething is really bothering mersquo

This is called lsquoCatharsisrsquo

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Do Not Accuse

bull You can explain what makes you angry without attacking the other person

bull Say ldquoI feel angry when hellip

raquoNot ldquoYou make me angryrdquo

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Arrest Anxiety

bull Another emotion one usually generated by inner rather than outer demons is anxiety

bull You may be experiencing performance anxiety

bull Others include social anxiety (shyness) information anxiety (the fear of looking dumb) and panic which have come of anxietyrsquos most intense symptoms

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

Take a brisk walkExercise will burn off the excess adrenaline that fuels your feelings of anxiety

Exercise releases endorphins a potent group of natural chemicals in the body that may block anxiety and depression

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

bull Meet Maxndash Max is a dog of the finest breedingndash He was rigorously trained to retrieve game

at the slightest nod from his ownerndash He is slightly motivate to serve his masterrsquos

needs

bull Meet Maxndash Max is talented amiable full of energy and

well educatedndash He is anxious to enter the arena of customer

service and make a contribution and hersquos bursting with innovative ideas

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine

bull Meet Mr Haroldndash Mr Harold is an average manager of customer

service for New World Importsndash Service is the byword in his departmentndash He has some untapped ideas about customer service

bull Max and Maxndash Max and Max both have new opportunities ndash a

chance to learn a chance to show their stuff ndash Each comes to learn about limits though ndash stay on the lawnndash get your own job figured out first then you can

start worrying about mine