ACS Green Press

Army Community Service (ACS) Fort Drum, New York February 2014

Regarding resilience:

Tips, tools and tech-

niques for practicing

resilience everyday

2

For the Love of Money

3

Stages of Develop-

ment Continued

4

Spouse in the

Spotlight-

5

North Country Cul-

ture Shock

6

Protecting our Children From Online Dangers.

7

ACS Calendar of

Events

8

ACS Contacts 9

Inside this issue:

Not Just When Your Love is Away… Emotional Stages of Deployment by Sarah Lynch

be misconceived. Another

challenge faced is the tendency

for rumors to spread rapidly.

Rumors can be damaging to the

Soldier down range as well as the

spouse and FRG.

Anticipation of Return: This

is a time marked by excitement

and joy as well as being hectic as

preparations are made for the

Soldiers return. There is also a

need for those Family members

waiting for their Soldier’s return

to communicate and establish

realistic expectations for the

reunion.

Return Adjustment and

Renegotiation: Couples and

their Families must renegotiate

roles and responsibilities.

Effective communication is

imperative to the success of this

stage. So many factors such as

combat stress and trauma can

influence the Soldier’s behavior

and interaction with the Family.

Unrealistic expectations often

lead to marital arguments and

resentment.

Reintegration and Stabiliza-

tion: This stage can take as long

as six months to complete.

Combat stress can continue to

inhibit stabilization. Often

Families then factor in a

Permanent Change of Duty Sta-

tion (PCS) which is another ma-

jor life stressor.

Continued on page 4

There are many life events that

cause stress to couples during

their marriage. For a Military

Family deployment is a huge life

stressor. It is a common miscon-

ception the stress begins the day

the Soldier leaves and is alleviated

the day he or she returns.

The fact is, the stress caused by

deployment profoundly impacts

the marriage well before the

Soldier leaves and long after they

return. The time leading up to

deployment and the adjustment

period following the reunion are

equally if not more stressful.

Understanding the different emo-

tional cycles that coincide with the

stages of deployment can help

alleviate stress and set couples up

for success during difficult times.

The following stages make up the

emotional cycle of deployment:

Anticipation of Departure: This

is the first stage and is

characterized by periods of denial

and the anticipation of loss.

While Soldiers begin to gear up,

bond with their units and

inadvertently create emotional

distance before leaving, their

spouse may feel alone and

resentful. Often the frustration

leads to arguments that can create

a wedge between the couple

before the deployment.

Detachment and Withdrawal:

This is the stage when Soldiers

prepare psychologically for their

deployment. Their focus is

on unit cohesion and their

mission. Unfortunately, this

stage can cause marital

distance as sadness, anger and

fear can cause the couple to

withdraw from one another

and gradually shut down their

emotions.

Emotional Disorganiza-

tion: This is the stage when a

spouse experiencing

deployment for the first time

has to take on additional and

sometimes unfamiliar

responsibilities. Ironically,

with multiple deployments,

even seasoned spouses may

also experience emotional

disorganization as they may

be burnt out from previous

deployments.

Recovery and Stabilization:

the military spouse begins to

normalize and begins to think

they can actually survive

deployment. The spouses

deal with this stage in many

different ways. Some spouses

reach out to Family Readiness

Groups (FRG), Family

members, Neighbors,

Coworkers or church mem-

bers while others deal with

things on their own. One

challenge during this stage is

the accurate timely

dissemination of information.

Social Media and emailing can

be both beneficial and damag-

ing as information can often

Direct questions / feedback To: Sarah Lynch : 772-5374 sarah.l.lynch@us.army.mil

ACS Green Press February 2014 Page 2

Regarding Resilience: Tips, tools and techniques

for practicing resilience everyday!

By Jenn Eichner, MRT 772-2848

Happy New Year all!! Thinking this is a good time to take a RE-look at the resilience foundation skill. I am certain that in the past year, you have all had some activating events occur. I hope that you were able to apply your resil-ience skills and keep those events in check. Well it’s a new year filled with new good stuff but also possible new activating events. Resilience, you see, will not make them go away, but it will help you keep them at bay. So, here is the refresher – take a new look… Here is the way to break it down so that you can identify patterns in your thoughts to help you understand why you may react the way you do.

Step One - Break down an AE into: Who, What, When and Where. NO WHY (why stirs up emotion)! Step Two - Write down your “in the heat of the moment” interpretations of the AE; what you said to yourself. Step Three - Write down the conse-quences of YOUR THOUGHTS (not the event). These would be your emo-tions and reactions. For example, you may have felt angry (emotion) and yelled loudly (reaction). Once you break it all down, look at your emotions and reactions and see if they fit. Were they productive or counterpro-ductive in responding to the event? If counter-productive, see if you can make

Resilience Foundation Skill-Time For a Second Look?

2014

Master Resilience Training

Schedule

6 February, Module 4, 9:30am-12:30pm, ACS

11 March, Module 5, 9:30am-12:30pm, ACS

Spring Marathon, 31 March-3 April All modules covered

9:30am-3:30 pm

Work Force Development Building

For reservations call 315-772-2848/0509/9611

a change in your thinking and watch how your reactions will follow suit.

“Anyone can get angry–that is easy–but to get angry with the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way is no longer something easy that

anyone can do.”

–Aristotle

Good luck and good thoughts!

“stop searching the world for treasure,

the real treasure is in yourself”

~Pablo Valle

“Happiness is not the absence of

problems but the ability to deal

with them”

~H. Jackson Brown

Page 3 ACS Green Press February 2014

For the Love of Money

I have often heard it said that the love of

money is the root of all evil. Well this

may be true. We all know that money is

an important consideration in everything

we do. Getting the money we need to

take care of ourselves and our Families is

a priority for all of us.

Since we are getting close to

Valentine’s Day, it is important for us

to remember to love ourselves.

Savings for retirement is one way we

can show our Family we love them.

Many retired adults are living on a

fixed income that is below the poverty

levels for the United States. Because

they cannot support themselves, they

are forced to rely on their employed

adult children to assist them. Right

now it’s time to take action and plan

for your future. This Valentine’s day,

rather than spend those few extra

dollars on chocolate and roses, why

not give yourself and your loved one

the gift of financial freedom by

investing in a retirement plan? Not

sure where to start? Don’t worry,

Financial Readiness staff is standing by

ready to assist you with any questions

and get you on the road to a successful

retirement. Even better still, services

are free!

What are you waiting for? Call

Financial Readiness today. Financial

Readiness can be reached by calling

315-772-8526,0050,5059

Congratulations to the following Employment Readiness clients who have recently landed a job!

Brandon Lockheed Martin Melanie Northern Credit Union Debbie Cornell Cooperative Extension

Look Who’s On The Payroll!!!!!

Stages of Deployment ...continued from page 1

of the house and pass the time.

Relocation Readiness also offers

sewing classes, crafting classes and

crochet classes.

Family Advocacy offers many

classes ranging from couples com-

munication, stress and anger man-

agement, internet safety, to single

parenting support groups and book

clubs. If you have a new baby or

are expecting one during

deployment, they have a new

parent support program to assist

Families in much the same way you

friends and Family would if you

were back home. The registered

nurses from the New Parent Sup-

port Program can do home visits to

answer questions, address concerns

in the privacy of your home. They

also facilitate a playgroup so your

children can play and you can get

some grown up time with the other

moms.

The Army Volunteer Corps

might be just the ticket if you need

to keep busy while the time passes.

There are many opportunities to

volunteer both on and off post.

Volunteering is also a great way to

gain skills, network, and form

friendships! Remember, it is

important to stay active and not

withdraw from other people.

Army Family Team Building is

another option for staying busy.

The classes offered by the program

not only provide an outlet to be

Where can Families Find help?

Army Community Service offers many

resources to support our Soldiers and

Families through the deployment

cycle. From predeployment through

redeployment we are here to support

the wellbeing of the Soldiers and

Families we serve. Below are a few of

the resources we have to offer :

Mobilization and Deployment

offers Predeployment briefs and

fairs to provide information and

guidance for smooth deployment

preparations. The offer Reinte-

gration briefs to help Families

create realistic expectations and

learn skills to deal with situations

that often arrive. Master Resil-

ience Training helps both Soldiers

and Families develop skills to

grow and thrive in the face of

challenges and bounce back from

adversity.

Relocation Readiness offers

Hearts Apart Spouse group for

spouses experiencing deployment.

They understand that challenges

begin before the Soldiers leave

and continues after the reunion.

Therefore they encourage spouses

to join ninety days prior to their

Soldier leaves and continue with

the group for ninety days after

homecoming. The group offers a

chance to network with other

spouses dealing with deployment

as well as social outings and activi-

ties to keep you busy, get you out

Page 4 February 2014 ACS Green Press

with other people but also to learn

about the Army, grow personal

skills, lead others and become a

volunteer instructor. All valuable

skills in self development.

The Exceptional Family Mem-

ber Program offers much needed

support groups and respite care for

Army Families enrolled in the

program. Deployment can be

especially hard on spouses caring

for their special needs Family

Member without support from

their spouse.

If at any time during the deployment

cycles you, your Soldier or children are

feeling overwhelmed or just struggling

to adjust, we have Military Family Life

Consultants (MFLC’s) available to talk

with. MFLC’s are Masters or Ph.D

level licensed clinical counselors.

MFLC’s address relationships, stress

management, grief after loss, occupa-

tional and other individual and family

issues as well as provide crisis

intervention when needed.

Just remember that Army Community

Service offers resources and tools to

help you not just survive deployment

but to thrive during deployment. De-

ployment is an inevitable part of army

life. It takes a special person to be an

Army spouse. We are here to serve you

and your Family in every way possible.

Call 772-5665 for more information.

Remember-”Think ACS First”

“The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.”

~Bernard M. Baruch

Page 5 ACS Green Press February 2014

When Army Community Service Outreach

asked me to write a bio about myself, I

cringed. A total ‘scrunch up your eyes

please don’t ask me to’ cringe. Not because

I can’t write a bio, but because I’m never

quite sure what to say or how to say it.

Words, I’ve learned, don’t usually come out

the way I want them to. Nor do words

represent what I mean. Sometimes, words

simply aren’t available because most of the

time I find there is no word that

encompasses the craziness, frustration, loss,

relief, and excitement that is inherent in

military life.

So there’s thing #1: I’m part of a military Family. Our Family consists of a husband, a wife, a daughter, a son and one neurotic, nail-chewing dog. For us, being a military Family means we’ve moved a lot, a lot, a lot! So much so, that in my bleary-eyed, hair sticking straight up as I race down the steps to meet the movers at the door at the crack of dawn moments, I blame my husband for all of the craziness, frus-tration, loss, relief, and excitement that as I already said is inherent in our life. So I find it necessary to keep my bleary-eyed, hair sticking straight up mo-ments in check…to save my marriage. So I run. So there’s thing #2: I love running.

There is nothing like the feel of my

feet hitting the ground on a forest trail

filled with sunshine, watching the

world stand still while I move through

it. Because sometimes, when I’m

caught up in work and kids activities/

school and cleaning and cooking and

laundry and homework and doctor

appointments and, and, and…I need

something in my life to stand still. In

that stillness, I practice putting words

on paper; in stories, in plays and yes

even in biographies that I cringe at

writing, when asked by ACS.

So there’s thing #3: I love writing. I love to write for kids and for teens. Not as much for adults. Not because I can’t write for adults, I just don’t have their same sensibilities. Posh I’d rather be Peter Pan than Wendy. In all fair-ness, I can see why knowing this might make you think to yourself, “I am thankful that I don’t live next to that bleary-eyed, sweaty running clothed, wild-haired lady who comes from nowhere. She is definitely crazy, frustrated, lost, relieved and excited most of the time!” To which, I would respond, exactly. That is me and it’s nice to meet you.

Building Community: In the Spotlight

Deni Kruger-a Personal Prospective

“Just become quiet, still, and solitary, and the world will

offer itself to you to be unmasked; it has no choice. It

will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

~Dana Hawksister

Page 6 ACS Green Press February 2014

North Country Culture Shock by Chrystie Bockus

Welcome to the North Country! When

arriving at Fort Drum you may experience

some culture shock: driving in three feet of

snow, designated horse and buggy parking

at Walmart, blisters from hiking in the

wrong boots, needing a New York

Certification for employment, and realizing

the need for an updated resume format to

name a few. As Family members or

service members, you realize it can be chal-

lenging relocating to a new location and

that there are quite a few obstacles to over-

come. Luckily, you don’t have to “go it

alone.” The staff members of the Relo-

cation Readiness Program (Relocation) and

the Employment Readiness Program

(ERP) at Army Community Service are

your one stop shop for North Country

relocation and employment issues.

Often when people think of the North

Country, they focus on the six months of

snow, slippery roads and (gulp!) the great

outdoors, but what they don’t know is all

the wonderful opportunities that await

them in the unknown. Tug Hill and the

Adirondacks provide a plethora of skiing,

snowshoeing and cross country skiing

throughout the winter. Many of our local

towns and villages host winter snow

festivals, ice festivals and light festivals

throughout the Holiday and winter season.

Ice skating, ice palaces, snow forts and

sledding are favored Family activities

among our military Families. In all

seasons, we have local wine tours, the

Thousand Islands boat tour on the St.

Lawrence River, a variety of antique

shops and many artisan craft and food

specialty stores for you to enjoy. For

those who are outdoor adventurers,

there are many camping spots along the

St. Lawrence River, in national parks,

and in the heart of the Adirondack

Mountains that provide swimming,

hiking and fishing opportunities.

Relocation has activities available for

local Families, insight on the areas

cultural highlights and practical

information such as where the libraries,

hospitals and malls are located. They

have information on the best places to

eat, bargain shop and receive military

discounts in the surrounding area. If

you are in need of temporary household

items until your goods arrive, Relocation

has a lending closet as well. They will

provide you with relocation information,

assist in locating housing information

and organizing opportunities for you to

become acclimated to the North

Country and meet new friends as well.

Often when people arrive in the North

Country, they are uncertain which

websites to utilize when seeking

employment, which employers are

military friendly, what contracting

companies are available on post or

where to seek information in their

certification area. ERP can provide you

with job search information, a list of

contracting companies on post, and give

you contact information to assist with

your certification needs. In addition, we

have a weekly job bank that we update

and email to interested clients. Another

issue surrounding our military Families,

especially our spouses and dependents,

is their resume. We have found that

resume standards, formats and content

differ by region and nation. A resume

that is desirable on the West Coast in

America, in Europe or Asia may not

be desirable or accepted by the

employers in the North Country and

this can make it difficult to obtain an

interview for employment. ERP will

review your resume and offer

suggestions that will make it more

desirable to North Country employers.

We can offer individual assistance for

interview skills as well. Our primary

goal is to streamline the job search

process and create a partnership with

our clients that make their job search

successful.

To assist our relocated service

members and their families,

Relocation and ERP are presenting

Culture Smart! Seminar on February

26th from 9:30 to 11:30AM. The

Culture Smart! Seminar is designed

to promote success in both your

personal and professional life.

Whether you are from Louisiana, Los

Angeles or Germany-this class is

designed to make your stay in the

North Country as successful and

enjoyable as possible. Learn what fun

activities the North Country offers,

the best shopping locations, view

resumes from other cultures and learn

to dress successfully for both your

professional and personal self as you

acclimate to your North Country

home. We will have refreshments and

cuisine native to the North Country

and give you an opportunity to meet

both seasoned and military spouses

and Families experiencing Fort Drum

and the North Country for the first

time as well. To register, call (315)

772-6902 or (315) 772-2737.

Page 7 ACS Green Press February 2014

73% of teens (12-17) have profiles on social networking sites. 47% of teens (12-17) have uploaded photos; 14 % have posted videos.

1 in 3 teens (12-17) have experienced online harassment. Girls are more likely to be victims of cyberbullying (38% girls vs. 26% boys)

Lenhart A. Cyberbullying and Online Teens. Pew Internet and American Life Project, 2007.

Lenhart A. Social Media and Young Adults. Pew Internet & American Life Project, 2010.

As Facebook eases its privacy rules

for teenagers, more and more parents

are wondering how on earth we can

protect our children from online

dangers. Our teens have more

opportunities and better access to the

internet than ever before. They do

not rely only on the home computer,

but have access through libraries and

schools, smart phones or IPods in

their pockets and even friend’s

devices.

How do we keep them safe as they

are exploring this brave new world?

Keep the home computer in a public

place, such as the living room or

family room, where as parents we can

that all accounts must have parental

approval before being added as a con-

dition of keeping a device or access is

also appropriate.

Most importantly, talk to your kids

about the internet, the dangers and

risks; what is acceptable and what is

not. If you see something that con-

cerns you, discuss it with your teen.

“What did you think about ‘Julie’s’

comment yesterday?” They are more

likely to come to you with problems

or concerns if they feel you will listen.

Don’t forget to model appropriate internet etiquette yourself. If you “friend” or follow your child, they can see what you post as well. Ensure that you are not posting anything inappropriate or stupid. A parent teaches far more with what they do than what they say. Visit www.netliteracy.org for more information on discussing internet safety with your teen. By Michelle Hoffman Family Advocacy Program Educator Army Community Service

see what they are doing. Limit

the amount of time they can

spend on the internet each day.

(Experts say 2 hours or less a

day.) I know one parent who

brings the wireless router to work

with him every day to ensure the

kids cannot access the internet

until he gets home.

Don’t forget to utilize the

parental controls on all of your

child’s devices. This limits

the sites your child can access online.

There are some sites and Apps that al-

low anyone to send pictures and videos

that will delete within a couple of min-

utes or even immediately after they are

read. Once an account is created it is

public and anyone can send any picture

or video to any other user.

If you allow your child to have a

Facebook account, be sure to “friend”

him/her so you can see what is going on

there. Follow them on Twitter. If you

do not know if your child has an

account, do a search. Ensure that you

have the passwords to all accounts

(Facebook, email, Twitter, etc.) so you

can do a more in depth check. A rule

Protecting our Children From Online Dangers

Did You Know..?

Page 8 ACS Green Press February 2014

Army Community Service

P4330 Conway Road

Fort Drum, New York

13602

Army Emergency Relief 772-6560, 772-8873 or 772-2855

Army Family Team Building http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000122037720

772-6710, 772-9229

Army Volunteer Program Coordinator http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fort-Drum-Army-volunteer-Corps/13651504365912

772-2899

Exceptional Family Member Program http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fort-Drum-FMWR-Exceptional-Family-Member-Program /104951319542718

772-5488, 772-0819, 772-0664

Employment Readiness Program http://www.facebook.com/fortdrumemployment

772-9611, 772-2737, 772-1090

Family Advocacy Program

(New Parent Support Program)

Sharp

Victim Advocate

772-5914/6929

772-0748/4070

772-4244

772-8934/5605

Financial Readiness Program http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fort-Drum-financial-Readiness-ACS/1956662120473

772-0050, 772-5196, 772-8526

Information and Referral 772-6556, 772-6557

Military & Family Life Consultants 212-6919

Mobilization and Deployment http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fort-Drum-Mobiliztion-and-Deployment/178420512193448?ref=ts&v=wall

772-2848, 772-0470, 772-2919

Outreach http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fort-Drum-ACS-Outreach/180373271991692

772-5374, 772-3456

Relocation Readiness http:// www.facebook.com/pages/Fort -Drum -Relocation -Readiness Program/171335822906429

772-5475, 772-6553, 772-6902

772-6566

Soldier Family Assistance Center http://www.facebook.com/Fort.Drum.FMWR/SFAC

772-7781

Survivor Outreach Services http://www.facebook.com/fortdrumsurvivoroutreachservices

772-6357