How Meditation Healed My Postpartum Depression

When I became pregnant last year I was elated. I had been trying to conceive for six months and when Isaw the positive pregnancy test, I couldn’t help but smile ear to ear. It had finally happened, I was goingto be a mother.

The day my daughter Annabell was born was the best day of my life.

I’ll never forget the moment she arrived.

The doctor handed her to the nurse. The nurse laid her down on the table to check her under the brightlight. And my daughter, crying at the top of her lungs, immediately turned to stare right at me and my

ANNA GANNON JUNE 9, 2016E X P E C T F U L / P A R E N T H O O D / P R E G N A N C Y

HOW MEDITATION HEALED MY POSTPARTUM DEPRESSIONY O U A R E R E A D I N G

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husband. She didn’t take her eyes off of us the entire time she was being examined, it was as if she knewright away that we were hers and she was ours.

I was in love.

The days that progressed were a blur. Twenty minutes of sleep here, an hour of trying to breastfeedthere. Lot of firsts. First time bathing a baby. First time changing a baby. First time getting thrown upon by a baby…

On the third day after she was born I had only slept for a total of 5 hours. Annabell had latch issues,which led to her not gaining weight which put an unexplainable amount of pressure on me. I would situp in bed for hours with her screaming from hunger as I desperately tried to get her to be able to feed. Iwas helpless and my body and mind were running on fumes. I was exhausted.

I struggled to get a hold of all the changes that came along with new motherhood, and began to haveirrational thoughts. I was blaming myself for everything that wasn’t going the way I thought it should and started to think that Annabell was better off without me. My mind began to spiral out of control,and I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown… but I was the only one who could see it.

Somewhere in the midst of the constant feeding, lack of sleep and emotional overcharge, I found myselfknee deep in postpartum depression. Each day became emotionally harder than the next.

“It gets easier” people kept saying, “Just get past week two or month one” and everything willmagically be more manageable. But week two came and month one flew by and I kept feeling like I wasstruggling to stay above water.

During this time I started a new job with Expectful. I had used their pregnancy meditations during mythird trimester and they did wonders to make me feel connected to my baby, my husband and myself.But amidst the chaos of postpartum I had forgotten all about my practice.

One night as I laid in my bed unable to fall asleep, I started to cry from pure helplessness. Desperateand weak I rolled out of bed, sat down, closed my eyes and started to focus on my breath. I started tobecome aware of my thoughts, and realized each one was more negative than the next… I’m not goodenough, what if my daughter stops breathing? What if something happens to my husband, how will I dothis alone? Suddenly it all became so clear, my mind was running this show and I had just been goingalong for the ride.

From that day on I told myself that no matter how crazy my days were, I would meditate for 20 minuteseach day. This minimal time commitment quickly helped me show up for my daughter in ways I didn’tbelieve were possible before. I had more energy, and I was able to focus and be more present. I wasfinally able to fall asleep and have good rest between feedings.

Each day that I meditated my mind got clearer, and I became more positive.

I believe the unconscious decision to sit down and meditate is quite possibly the reason I did not end upin a hospital from severe exhaustion and depression as a new mom.

After learning about how common postpartum depression is I was surprised that meditation isn’t beingtalked about as a part of pre and postnatal care. When I was discharged from the hospital a day aftergiving birth, a nurse sat me down to talk to me about the possibility of postpartum depression, but shedidn’t give me any guidance as to how to help avoid it. She merely said “if you feel depressed, call yourdoctor.” This is sound advice when it comes to getting help for postpartum depression and I am by nomeans saying you shouldn’t call your doctor, you definitely should. But, I believe meditation could helpnew moms like me deal with our emotions and it should be suggested as a tool to do so.

A regular practice can help women recognize the emotional ups and downs that inevitably happenwhen we become parents, and gives us the confidence to trust our instincts. It can help save a lot ofwomen from a tremendous amount of uncertainty, turmoil and frustration.

If you are a new mom and are struggling in any way, please know that you are not alone and there aremedical professionals and tools like meditation out there to support you. Postpartum depression affect 1

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in every 7 women, and on average 1 in 10 of those women get treatment. The more awareness we bringto Postpartum Depression the more we can help women who suffer from it.

Are you pregnant or a new mom?

ExpectfulExpectful is a digital platform that makes meditation easy for expectant and new moms. Each one ofour guided meditations has been created to support you throughout your pregnancy and motherhoodjourney.

Our mission is to help you give your baby the best start in life. Go to expectful.com and sign up for ourfree 30-day meditation trail.

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HOW MEDITATION HEALED MY POSTPARTUM DEPRESSIONHow Meditation Healed My Postpartum DepressionANNA GANNON JUNE 9, 2016MOST POPULAR POSTSTHE SIMPLE PRACTICE THAT MIGHT CHANGE THE WORLDDEAR PRE-MOM SELF: IT’S TIME TO LET YOU GOTWO WEEKS OVERDUE: HOW I FOUGHT TO NOT INDUCE